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Thank you so much for sharing. Our son (13) has Autism, ADHD and PDAS. Although, the diagnosis doesn't officially exist in Germany. So we can't find anyone who is able to offer therapy. They want to put him into psychiatric hospitals and put him on medication. He has had an on-off-relationship with school for 3 years. We try to get him unschooled but homeschooling is illegal in Germany. You encourage me to go on fighting for him to go his own way.
Fascinating Harry thank you! listening to your journey helps me be more connected to my son who is ADHD, Autistic PDA, he is my ray of sunshine, funny, Whitty, aloof full of love and a chatter box, often with a cloud covering his beautiful personality! because this world cannot change for him and many others, you describe and articulate what we as parents can only think is going on for our children, knowledge is crucial to assisting our children manage and empower themselves to walk their difficult path. thank you :-)
I needed this today. my son starts home schooling tomorrow. school doesn't work for him. you are a beautiful soul for sharing this with us thank you do much.
How did the home schooling work out so far Cheryl? Considering it for my PDA 15 year old son and am concerned about his refusing to complete the lessons.
Freedom to learn is a beautiful way to put it. And you can teach yourself, I do that too. With a teacher it is always the sensory overload for me, the interaction. that's too intense. I prefer learning videos. That's INDIRECT and much easier
Thank you for making these videos Harry. My 5yo displays so very many symptoms (she was also the only baby not crying on the ward!) and we are on the long road of assessment which is proving really challenging as she appears engaged and happy at school. Look forward to hearing more, really appreciate the insights into how it feels from someone who experiences it directly.
As a late diagnosed autistic, I can relate so much. The education system is so restricting to creative thinkers. There's a lot of information we're just spoon fed that isn't of relevance to us intuitively. It's a distraction and the system shames us for not conforming.
This is a really interesting series of videos and you have great presentation skills/a very clear narrative. I look forward to watching more as you make them.
So great Harry. I have s 9 yr old son and your insight is so helpful. I have shared on the Facebook Adult PDA Support Group and the local groups I am on in Somerset UK.
Unfortunately for me I have found that things that I am intensely interested in can still fall victim to my PDA tendencies. It is even too much for me to make demands of myself at times, for example, to practice my music at a particular time, or even at all. As soon as it becomes an "I need to do..." or "I should do..." I find myself fighting myself over it and it has become a CHORE, rather than something I WANT to do. (which actually saddens me because I love my music more than anything (except my kids))
I am also wondering if this is because the anxiety is not linked to the demand as such, but moreso linked to the perceived EXPECTATION or result of the demand. So for example, the reason I can't make that phone call is more to do with my anxiety over the result of the call, or even because I just don't know how the call will go (ie:I can't control that maybe). Will I get a person, or will it be an answering machine, or even a computer person just for starters? How do I prepare for each possible scenario? It's all just too hard.
Sharlette Buxton that’s exactly what it is: anxiety about the uncertain outcome. I’d go even further and say it’s the fear of an outcome that confirms your deeply ingrained belief that you’re worthless. Here I’m using “you” in the general sense, not you specifically; I have the same problem and it can be absolutely debilitating...
PDA is my new learning. Feel lucky Harry. I'm 47 and have gone thru this shit for soooo long. You are young. So won't suffer as long as I have... you're ace. Keep going. Just for me... X
Hi HarryI think what you are doing is admirable and not at all self indulgent. I can't believe someone said that. Believe in your self worth and know that your experience and advice will benefit many across the world. Thank you!
I homeschool my son and this helps me feel I am doing the right thing for him. He also teaches himself. I wonder how you learned music? Did u have lessons and were able to because you had the interest. Or from ear.
Harry, you are brilliant on so many levels. Have you explored radical Unschooling philosophy? It’s learning without ‘schooling’, without the system, without the conformity. I imagine in your travels you’ve come across the term by now. It’s the best choice I ever made for my boys (and myself! The school system sucks for parents too, most just don’t realize it’s not mandatory). Anyway, you’re an inspiration. 🙏
Harry Thompson Thank you for your thoughtful replies. :) I knew you had to know about Unschooling. It must be the (wisely) diplomatic delicacy with which you’ve been alluding to the subject that had me wondering.
Very interesting my little girl is 6 and I believe she has PDA ever since nursery she struggles to cope and when she got to year 1 she was excluded 6 times from school and she was out of control so we moved schools was brilliant for the first month then was excluded for 3 days from new school and now she is only in school for 3 hours a day and still not coping but she is crazy smart but doesn’t show it all the time only when she wants to and now we waiting for assessment but her main issue is her need for control and when demands are put on her, if it all too much she becomes very hard to manage Thank you so much for this any advice on how to deal with meltdowns ?
