My Son Eloped With His Teenage Girlfriend!

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My Son Eloped With His Teenage Girlfriend!
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3 окт 2023

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Комментарии : 883

@og666 10 месяцев назад

i mean he listened on the whole "you don't need a girlfriend, you need a wife"

@paulaaquino 10 месяцев назад

You never know how the message is going to come across 😅

@ED-wired 10 месяцев назад

😂

@d.m.3753 10 месяцев назад

Exactly! I was just about to say this. He actually did what she told him to do.

@amber7129 10 месяцев назад

Exactly 😂 He was following directions!

@actuarylitten 10 месяцев назад

So in this case mother really is to blame

@brooke9847 10 месяцев назад

It's pretty funny she doesn't like the fact he married the 3rd girl he's been with but met her husband at 15 and then didn't allow her kids to date.

@eurekahope5310 10 месяцев назад

She didn't say they could never date, just that they needed to date when they were serious about finding a spouse. Not saying this is the right approach, but I see plenty of judgemental comments about a mom who is trying to do the right thing by her son and his wife. I also know of teens who got pregnant because they started dating before they were mature enough to comprehend the consequences of physical intimacy.

@saribrown7156 10 месяцев назад

She never said the kids are not allowed to date. She just wanted them to date with a purpose, intention to marry the person at some point they date.

@benjaminhough8804 10 месяцев назад

@brooke9847 I agree with you, that sounds crazy. I can completely understand being serious about a spouse, that was the only purpose I had while dating. HOWEVER, there is no way a 15 year-old child at church youth group is serious about getting married. Realistically they’d have to wait/date for 3-5 years. It feels like she required her kids to hold off on dating until they are literally ready to get married. 15 year old kids can’t get married. Then she is shocked when one of her kids decides he is ready and gets married immediately (kinda seems like that’s what she was expecting/requiring).

@helgaherbstreit5102 4 месяца назад

@@eurekahope5310 The right thing? controlling all their life?allowing no fun which dating brings?

@kimberlyfloyd1009 3 месяца назад

Real hahahha... I have a friend whose mom was like this and she and her siblings have never gotten married even though the mom was married at 18

@ethan4048 10 месяцев назад

My parents did the “no dating” thing with me. I got married at 18 divorced at 22 lol

@JudePi-jx7yo 3 месяца назад

Shocking huh?

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Yep my husbands parents are conservative and he got married at 18 divorced right away

@noahi 2 месяца назад

Same to me just without the marriage. Fell head over heels off the bat.

@thedifferenceincolour7341 2 месяца назад

You were young and stupid, I would let my daughter marry whoever she wants, but she can’t blame me for her mistakes

@keylacmckemp1309 Месяц назад

My mom wanted me to date at 18. I told her not to make me lie to her and sneak around. I started at 17.

@BrendaKnoll 10 месяцев назад

This mom is so focused on being perfect she is unreal

@xxxxxxxxx1652 10 месяцев назад

fr i can't believe that she speaks so openly about not allowing her kids to date and then being like ok but why do they rush to get married and why do they do it behind our back!?!?

@BrendaKnoll 10 месяцев назад

@@xxxxxxxxx1652exactly

@Christiansstillstruggle 3 месяца назад

She literally said that she agrees with John on dating and that her son had 2 girlfriends before his wife. What are yall on about?

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Fact

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Literally my mother to a T

@warrensloan3467 10 месяцев назад

“Start thinking about the qualities you want your future spouse to have, based on the total lack of information you have about romantic relationships.” What could possibly go wrong?

@camxdidxthat 10 месяцев назад

Exactly.

@talyahr3302 10 месяцев назад

Literally!! Zero experience. Zero practice. Because the parents stole that from them, then think they're doing God's work! Brainwashed insanity!!

@River10000 10 месяцев назад

Exactly. What a mess.

@nd7289 9 месяцев назад

You don't need to date to know what you would like in a partner. Maybe your expectation might be unrealistic because of lack of experience but you can definitely have some type of expectations. You can have very generic expectations e.g. I want someone who listens, doesn't insult me, is open etc.

@grreeeeee 9 месяцев назад

@@nd7289 that isn't what teenagers come up with. they come up with what they look like, what extremely niche hobby they like must also be, and whatever arbitrary characteristic their favorite TV program says is important. it's RIDICULOUS to expect someone who has never driven a car to pick the car they are going to have for the rest of their lives.

@lav7161 10 месяцев назад

Mom needs to relax. She wants to be in her sons life a little too much. Let him be and stop trying to control their relationship.

@guntherwhite2043 3 месяца назад

A teenager?

@guntherwhite2043 3 месяца назад

Never mind my bad, I’m behind, this dude is 23. She needs to back off

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

This boy needs to RUNNNNNN

@BlackStump172 3 месяца назад

@@DevHazyI hope he gets his housing soon and that when they have kids that he makes her back off with her opinions and foolish rules .

@videofan1010 10 месяцев назад

I love how the mom doesn't seem think this is her fault.

@rustyshackleford6637 10 месяцев назад

She sounds very stupid

@judekiv 10 месяцев назад

Which mom? The one on the call seems to be a great mother and them getting married is not an issue.

@Mkay999 10 месяцев назад

The one that called in raised her kids to get married right away and she is “shocked.” She got exactly what she asked for.

@John-du2mq 10 месяцев назад

They never do

@milagroslh1551 10 месяцев назад

The caller mom doesn’t see her son did something wrong. You think Jesus likes you to go with whatever your children do. Let me let everybody know that if you don’t tell your own children that they did wrong. Jesus will let you know. Correct your children even if they don’t follow through. Keep reminding them. I sure don’t want Jesus to tell me why didn’t you tell it was wrong.

@TheRealHerbaSchmurba 3 месяца назад

I made the mistake of reading the comments before watching much of the video and let comments give me an inaccurate picture of this lady. Sure I think it is wrong to not let your kids date and to be excessively involved in their adult lives, but in this call she is quite receptive and seems to have a big heart. Like let’s be forreal, a bad mother wouldnt hug a stranger that was just introduced to them as their daughter in the circumstance of an odd situation.

@lumin9ry 3 месяца назад

Agreed

@ambersipe2764 3 месяца назад

Thank you! I was just thinking why aren't we giving her props for the amazing way she handled this?!

@sungear 2 месяца назад

This is very insightful. I too, sometimes let the comments influence my opinions about these things. I think she's a little too controlling and naive. With 5 kids, there's no way they're all going to fit her imagination of how perfect their lives will be.

@Jinger17 2 месяца назад

⁠@@sungearI marrried into a family like this. We have four kids Ourselves now and My MIL still treats Us like we are still teenagers. 🤦‍♀️ 20 years later and their Mom is STILL like this and all her kids are in their 30’s and 40’s. These types of people don’t understand the goal of parenting. It’s that You raise independent kids, not that Your kids are dependent on You. Therefore the natural progression of life becomes something they dread.

@TravelsTTG 2 месяца назад

It’s not that specifically. It’s that fact that she meet her husband at 15. This type of parenting messes up kids. Not saying kids should be having sex etc. but damn.

@ashleysalazar2012 10 месяцев назад

I think it's so strange when parents are so involved in their adult children's lives. Just let them be an adult.

@meganbaril7847 10 месяцев назад

Heck yes. The control of his mother is so triggering to me!

@mw6346 10 месяцев назад

Right! I was think this was a kid that just turned 18 last week. Not a grown man that's been in the Marine Corp for a few years.

@ashleysalazar2012 10 месяцев назад

I notice it's a lot of mothers with their sons. It gives me the creeps. It's like emotional incest. I could never deal with a mother in law like that.

@lesliemills5215 10 месяцев назад

This 100 percent

@judekiv 10 месяцев назад

What are you people on about, the kids live with her, they clearly are close to her and the new daughter in law is clearly looking for a mother figure. There is 0 issue with this, did you even watch the episode?

@Dwights_trash_can 10 месяцев назад

I am an army veteran I can tell you he likely married quickly to get out of the barracks. BUT she is also very controlling and I am not surprised he jumped right into marriage

@Lynn01816 7 месяцев назад

But most military guys still jump to marriage because of the benefits. It sucks to say since I’m a military spouse but that’s not the case for me, it’s what I hear about young military couples. She said he joined at 18 and something about 5 years later meets this girl. So he’s 22. It’s still common as a very young military member to get married for unfortunately the wrong reasons. I don’t find it strange he got married instead of “dating” besides when she said to look for a wife not a girlfriend she meant date with a purpose to marry. I find it strange when she said her and all her kids are so close they talk about everything and life choices. If she’s this warm and easy to talk to about hard topics why did he hide the part he was literally going to marry this girl two days later after meeting the parents without saying anything about marriage? Knowing he knows she would be supportive. And then brushing it off when she noticed the ring? That tells me that he did take a serious life change to be with someone “forever” but doing so lightly? Like it does make me wonder if it’s more for the benefits and didn’t want to mention that part to the parents?

@LSSYLondon 3 месяца назад

@@Lynn01816 He joined at 17. Clearly to get away from his mother.

@misstishwyo 10 месяцев назад

Dr John is so right. We are no contact with certain family and we constantly hear things like "Life is too short to hold grudges" but we feel that life is too short to be around people who treat us terribly with no remorse. I have peace drawing the line and not looking back.

@user-st6nt4ou6f 3 месяца назад

Spot on. Amazingly I'm dealing with this too and it's a learning curve but I'm holding fast. It took me years and a lot of heartache

@sitcomchristian6886 2 месяца назад

I believe people are too quick to go no-contact. "Just go no-contact!" as if it's a decision to get bangs or not. Over ridiculous things like political differences, or *ahem* medical choices a few years back. It's actually adding destruction and toxicity, in cases like that. And I say this as someone married to a man who was NC with his grandfather until the man died. But like, grandpa apparently made a pact with the devil, so 😬I believe it can be necessary, but those cases are very rare and don't require long explanations 😋

@missautumn764 2 месяца назад

I think people that have (luckily) no experience with these dynamics, probably truly have no way of understanding what this is truly like. I am a mom myself now and I find it impossible to imagine myself ever treating my child the way I was treated. I understand however, that it IS possible for other parents, because I was the kid in that situation once. But when you have not gone through that yourself, and all you've ever felt is the love from your parents and the love you have for your children... You just have no idea. And you don't understand that comments like "I hope you can work it out with your parents" can be very, very painful for the child to hear.

@vjs4539 10 месяцев назад

The poor daughter in law. I hope she knows how to make boundaries with new mom.

@snsn7251 10 месяцев назад

Absolutely. She's quite young so hopefully she can be strong and the marriage will work.

@kellyeverett 9 месяцев назад

Yep, MIL needs a life . Hopefully her son doesn’t try and control his 18 year old wife the way his parents controlled him

@iFlunkedAWANA 3 месяца назад

Right?! They are going to have conflicts.

@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188 3 месяца назад

Her brain isn't even fully developed, I doubt she can set these boundaries already. Took me to be in my mid 20 to friendly suggest stuff to others😂

@turdrocket 3 месяца назад

Like brick wall boundaries

@maryt7468 10 месяцев назад

Gosh this woman is weird. You can’t hold your children in a headlock until they are 18 and then be shocked when they go buck wild. As a Christian, it’s our responsibility to walk along side our kids as they slowly enter into the world while they still live in our house. not keep them from as long as possible.

@halfmoonyogi4997 10 месяцев назад

Any time people say "family is important, you should reconcile" i immediately thought, "well they dont get it. They havent experienced abuse. Theyve either been privileged to have come from a supportive home and cant see past their own experiences, or they dont see an issue with the abuse they experienced, are unhealed and in denial. Either way, not safe for me."

@paulababula9621 5 месяцев назад

Exactly

@NefariaAdventures 3 месяца назад

Bingo! Family privilege.

@elihollingsworth6852 3 месяца назад

This. No one who hasn't been through that understands the feeling of "I'd rather die than go back"

@aishai5626 2 месяца назад

Yes. This. They are saying “disregard how you feel and make my life easier.”

@sitcomchristian6886 2 месяца назад

I have a rule of thumb. If you have a long explanation you need to give for why you went NC, you probably acted rashly. NC can be necessary, but those cases are rare and generally, only require a short explanation to be fully understood. Because family IS important. There's no getting around how your family, or lack thereof, shapes and impacts you.

@NeccoWecco 10 месяцев назад

Step up and be the family she needs. She chose your family for a reason. There is a reason why she left her home.

@pitbull7885 10 месяцев назад

sounds like her mom is not a good person told her to get a divorce. sounds like a she did what she did to get out of the situation she was in.

@Kinksgalore 10 месяцев назад

Mother in law isn't responsible for a grown woman looking to be adopted.

@NeccoWecco 10 месяцев назад

@@Kinksgalore It doesn't take much to be there for someone

@javaskull88 10 месяцев назад

He’s been a self-supporting adult for five years, he gets to make his own decisions. Let go, mom.

@1lespaulfreak 10 месяцев назад

On target

@lyrasus 10 месяцев назад

I am completely baffled by this woman’s naïveté. It’s endearing at the same time it’s the biggest WTF. She’s been married for 30 years and has 5 ADULT children but she is so flabbergasted by ANY other perspective than her own wishing well. It’s honestly so interesting. Wish em all well.

@floydthephilosopher 3 месяца назад

My mother's the same way...🙄😒 I've tried to pry the bar but some people just believe what they want and don't listen.

@sopranosd 3 месяца назад

She's not naive; she's creepily involved in the most intimate part of her children's lives. I wonder what the husband thinks?

@charlieosko4151 3 месяца назад

Its not endearing.

@Stargaze_17 11 дней назад

Church life your whole life will do that to you

@rosec8101 10 месяцев назад

My mom was emotionally and physically abusive. I realized at about 18 I did not love my mom. Thought I was crazy. To this day most people that knows me or my family have no idea the pain caused. They probably never will. I love how John handled this.

@om617yota8 10 месяцев назад

100%. No contact with my own family for years now, for good reason. Dr. D handled this one perfectly.

@abbyxiong3931 9 месяцев назад

Mine mom is the same way. She Spreads lies and rumors about. Tells me I have weight problems and degrades my looks constantly. I do not any relations to her.

@RealElenaDiaz 6 месяцев назад

I feel you. Mine is a narcissistic and try to destroy my family after I tried to help her. I had to stop all communication with her. I’m finally at peace.

@one_ice_cold_chiq 6 месяцев назад

@@abbyxiong3931sounds like we have the same mom. She stopped talking to me when I met my husband cause a man actually loved me. Six years NC.

@jamesstanton3280 3 месяца назад

I've never been physically hurt but my parents never enrolled me in school and my bro was a drug addict so lots of neglect 😮 but when she was so fix this w parents. I can tell she does not emotionally understand we don't want to connect we want peace and not to be hurt.i am sorry your family was so harsh to you ❤

@amyalvar 10 месяцев назад

That woman can't have a normal conversation with a person. She doesn't listen.

@MiZZVMN 5 месяцев назад

It’s frustrating to listen to!

@doesnotFempute 4 месяца назад

she certainly seems to be struggling with the transition from teen boymom to MIL of an army wife 🤧

@LSSYLondon 3 месяца назад

She's a narcissist. A Christian conservative narcissist.

@isaiahbucur 3 месяца назад

@@LSSYLondon oh shush

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

@@LSSYLondonyeah

@Chet_24 10 месяцев назад

I eloped with my wife. I wasn't interested in hearing any nonsense from my mom. We've been married 9 years and my wife and mom are good friends. We live about 5 mins away from each other.

@lolaispure4296 Месяц назад

❤

@1blestmomamoe472 Месяц назад

AMEN🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼

@suzannemiller993 10 месяцев назад

My son told me on a Wednesday he was getting married on Friday. They've been married 7years now and doing great!

@gbear34 10 месяцев назад

Yep, it can totally work! People now think they 'know better' but people used to get married in their teens and had a way higher success rate than people do now....

@stephanie-atarahrose.8149 9 месяцев назад

That’s statistics. People who are with less partners last longer .

@miltoncat 10 месяцев назад

She seems a bit… controlling. She keeps going on about how she raised her kids, like she did everything right. But I hope she can relax and everything works out.

@vtvincent4893 10 месяцев назад

I was thinking the same thing, she seems very... intense. Well meaning, but intense.

@Kwildcat13 10 месяцев назад

He met a girl online and he is like 22 in a demanding job . She isn’t wrong .. this could be a disaster .. being married to a marine is extremely difficult .. I hope they make it but it’s going to be hard . I wouldn’t want my son to be divorced by 25 that’s all I’m saying .

@kagnewcobra5228 10 месяцев назад

"A bit controlling" Ya think? Would love an update several years from now!

@javaskull88 10 месяцев назад

“Suffocating “ is the word that comes to mind for me.

@SirenaSpades 10 месяцев назад

@@javaskull88 I like suffocating. Each couple has a turn. She already had her turn. She can buzz off and stop interfering.

@kaizenborntowin 10 месяцев назад

Thank you Dr. John! The book I Kissed Dating Goodbye was a toxic book and messed up a lot of Christian families too.

@clareemerson 3 месяца назад

After reading that book I wished my husband and I had spent more time becoming friends while we were dating, rather than just not having sex.

@LSSYLondon 3 месяца назад

@@clareemerson I wish I had sex before marriage. Biggest mistake to marry to have sex. Josh Harris was a homeschooled moron. No one should listen to him. Glad he got a divorce now. I read his ex's book The Woman they Wanted and it was eye opening.

@Jen.E Месяц назад

The couple who wrote the book are divorced now.

@anothermom22 15 дней назад

@@Jen.E Interesting fact- ALL the couples in the original printing of that book are now divorced.

@Jen.E 15 дней назад

@anothermom22 I think I heard that too.

@9liveslisa 10 месяцев назад

A person who has never experienced toxic family environments could never understand someone who has lived in a toxic environment. They wouldn't have a clue. The mother-in-law sounds like a wonderful person. Hopefully the daughter-in-law can learn to enjoy a healthy relationship with her new husband and his family.

@iFlunkedAWANA 3 месяца назад

Yes! I hate when people say “family is everything” and tell you to reconcile no matter what. People should not be allowed to mistreat you just because they are family.

@sarahalderman3126 10 месяцев назад

Okay so also a mother of 8 young men and one daughter, 5 out of the 9 are adults now… What I cannot understand is this idea that kids should not “date”. Of course they should, in preparation for marriage. Not this hooking up crap that is happening but actually date. Get to know each other and themselves etc.

@maryphoenix5414 10 месяцев назад

did the people in the comment section even watch the video? The mums problem isn't directly with the son getting married but how to support his wife. She was shocked with the fast marriage but she was still supportive and kind to her son and her daughter-in-law, and it sounds like even if she is a helicopter parents she still has a good relationship with her children.

@michaelatheharpist 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for saying this. She is getting way too much hate in this comment section.

@JudePi-jx7yo 3 месяца назад

In fairness it's hard to get through the same thing.

@Cashhhhew 2 месяца назад

I just think it’s funny that she’s shocked because she literally raised him saying “you don’t need a girlfriend until you’re ready for a wife”. So he took that quite literally lol.

@secondplace 10 месяцев назад

My first thought was “does he have money problems?” Lots of guys in the service get told “ you want a raise, get married and have a kid.”

@DannyD-lr5yg 10 месяцев назад

Yikes, I hope that’s not his motivator. But since he’s able to live at home with his parents, rent free for now, I kind of doubt it’s a money thing.

@amde8554 10 месяцев назад

Yeah everyone is focusing on the controlling behaviors of the mother but the military incentives early marriage

@Kwildcat13 10 месяцев назад

@@DannyD-lr5ygit’s very true stability and marriage are pushed in the service ..

@woodybop129 10 месяцев назад

I lived this. Now I’m sitting here divorced, smoking a cigarette, watchin my boy John.

@user-ob8np2yw8x 7 дней назад

Best comment 😂

@ang1885 10 месяцев назад

I met my husband at 18. We got married two years later and have been married 18 years, together 20. I spent the first few years feeling like a wild animal around his family because my family was so chaotic and his family seemed so "normal". I needed a lot of therapy over the years from childhood trauma and we also did marriage counseling because I was never taught about healthy communication, just how to react. His mother welcomed me with open arms and one of the best things I did was be honest with her so she really understood the relationship I had with my parents. Now she's proud of how far I've come and how her son and I have grown up together not apart. I really wish them both the best.

@JudePi-jx7yo 3 месяца назад

Thanks for sharing

@annechen103 2 месяца назад

That’s beautiful. We need more people in the world like your Mother-in-law❤

@Chalk89 10 месяцев назад

I'm a parent, but my child isn't even two yet so I can only go off of my upbringing. I never understood the parents who were overly-strict - felt/feel like that pushes the kid into that very thing their parents wish for them to avoid. I understand wanting your kids to avoid being sexually active as young teens, but to shun relationships altogether is an unsavory recipe.

@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 10 месяцев назад

You better watch him in PreK, Chalk-he could toddle off with another little girl & they could take a big wheel to Vegas 😂

@alluringbliss4165 10 месяцев назад

I agree with you. This happened to my mother and aunt. Although their parents were old fashioned from 50 years ago, both were inexperienced and did not know how to vet. Both marriages were terrible.

@gingergann3934 10 месяцев назад

@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607🤣😂🤣

@nonosfavorites 10 месяцев назад

I can’t help but feel like this lady is an amazing mom! Maybe she helicoptered too much (still) but if you listen to the whole call, she was shocked her son go married so quickly but she loves her daughter in law, has given them a temporary place to live, and seems like they have a good relationship - much better than the young girls mom! It’s easy to say “oh these religious parents are horrible” but she sounds like a wonderful lady and I bet if we met the kids they’d be pretty awesome too.

@lexir7504 3 месяца назад

funny because the household i grew up in my grandma didn't monitor me at all and i was literally so insane as a teenager almost no rules no boundaries and i did every horrible thing you can think of. so i'm going to have a firm hand on my children when they get older lol but i don't think dating is bad just maybe like how mormons or amish do it and it has to be with multiple other siblings/ friends and no alone time 😂

@MrHaypro 10 месяцев назад

The last 20 minutes went a completely different way than the first 5

@Kwildcat13 10 месяцев назад

Yeah and I bet people stopped listening .. this women has been very graceful with her daughter in law

@ivankrushensky 2 месяца назад

@@Kwildcat13 it's all an act....just like her entire (fake) life. I have no doubt in my mind. She said a bunch of nonsense when she was allowed to do the speaking, then very quickly changes her tune when she doesn't receive the response she was fishing for LIVE ON AIR. Behind closed doors where no one can hear or see, this would be an entirely different conversation. Master manipulator and control freak. She's literally talking about controlling her ADULT children's lives. It would be interesting to hear the children's take on "how perfect the home is..."

@gretasimpson7626 9 месяцев назад

She sounds like a wonderful mom and mother-in-law! She’s made mistakes (which many people could/would have made), but, golly, she loves her people well.

@narelle-creative-arts 2 месяца назад

Just reading the previous comments, I don’t think people even listened to the whole episode. What a Gift this woman is to her new daughter in law… hope they all have a beautiful future together and the daughter in law heals from her past.

@DuffyGabi 3 месяца назад

This woman is the clearest example of why mother-in-law‘s have such a bad reputation. Live your own damn life and let your kids become their own people.

@Pokemonguy12626 3 месяца назад

You clearly did watch the whole video

@opalanuitchoutte3038 10 месяцев назад

The caller and her husband have done everything to push their kids into a life they claim not to want for them

@nonosfavorites 10 месяцев назад

Is this what you got from the call?

@ruthirwin8222 3 месяца назад

@nonosfavorites yep i did too

@engagedanddivorcedpodcast 10 месяцев назад

Overly strict parents always leads to rebellion and spontaneous decisions. Edited to add: overly strict RELIGIOUS parents

@Youdontneedtoknowmyname3-iu1vk 10 месяцев назад

😂story of my life

@methineetongsuk5259 10 месяцев назад

And only teaches kids how to lie and get away with things

@lav7161 10 месяцев назад

Not always.

@krissifaith6709 10 месяцев назад

Not always

@judekiv 10 месяцев назад

Incorrect, im extremely grateful for how strict my parents were. It set me up to actually be a functional young adult meanwhile I see most of my peers strugglimg, addicted to substances and poor.

@Ell5589 9 месяцев назад

I love that this call in mom has accepted her daughter in law so well, yet it seems she’s a bit too involved. She has to let go, she’s trying way to hard to be the perfect mom. It doesn’t exist.

@Lynn01816 7 месяцев назад

She just met this stranger whose now her daughter in law. Give her a break. It’s better she tries to get to know this girl, give this girl the love & support her own mom wouldn’t do. She’s showing this girl a healthy example of how important family is because that is literally what marriage is about. To show the young couple the means of support from family so they can show their kids too. I just got to say at least the girl’s parents are still together. There’s always polar opposites of married couples, one spouse could be coming from a healthy married family and the other, broken, blended or divorced families. She’s doing right. No offense to the caller but most sane moms don’t show love and support to someone who married their son without knowing one thing about them. It’s an absolute shock, the least the son could of done is told his parents he’s marrying her on that Sunday they met the parents instead of doing that 2 days later and not say a thing.

@erikaronska1096 10 месяцев назад

Great advice! There are legitimate reasons people go no contact with family.

@DorothyM45 10 месяцев назад

This woman is over-bearing and the new wife won't be able to handle it

@magsvro6668 5 месяцев назад

After the 20 minute mark you can tell john is waiting for her to just stfu 😂😂

@gsmith8255 10 месяцев назад

Spot on, John. Not all parents are equal! The caller should focus on loving her son and his new wife and being a strong, safe place for them. Abuse from parents is a brutal chain to break.

@letmebeyourocd 10 месяцев назад

Fully agree. 💯

@chrysiarose 10 месяцев назад

As a military veteran I have a different take. It could be that he was tired of the low pay and barracks life - a wife equals higher pay and stand alone housing - and a lot of young women in bad situations see a guy who has a job he can't really be fired from, who would give her government benefits and an easier safer life (she thinks) than what she currently has. This may not go well, as a lot of these young women have a lot of problems and are not ready to deal with military life, and I have seen so many divorces and problems because of the stress and demands. This is not going to be an easy or good time once they get into their base housing and start to realize how hard it is going to be.

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Ding ding ding military marriages

@charlieosko4151 3 месяца назад

Why does the US army incentive like this?

@OliviaKelly-dp7eh 9 месяцев назад

The fact that this women is calling, working through all this and her reaction at dinner welcoming her daughter in law in is amazing to hear. She was definitely grieving maybe the idea she had in her mind but I feel her children and daughter in law are so lucky to have her.

@neoalley 10 месяцев назад

I finally got out... and every time someone would say "You need to reunite" Re implies it was ever united. No. There is nothing to repair. Nothing at all. And the more you tell me to, the more it's not going to go well.

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Yep❤

@briskettacos 10 месяцев назад

I'd say that separation from her family may be good for that young woman, it gives her time to heal and for them to learn to respect her

@CHrisPetE056 4 месяца назад

Wow. Your ninja level of patience at the beginning as you were listening to her. …😊. Bless your heart.

@laislivon 10 месяцев назад

I met my husband online. He was raised in a very conservative family in Indiana, I was born and raised in Brazil. We talked for a couple of years and I finally traveled to the US to meet him. We spent 30 days together. A year later he traveled to Brazil, we spent 30 more days together, and got engaged. Nine months after that, he returned to Brazil with his parents and we got married. I moved to the US the next day. This whole situation sounded less than ideal to both our families, especially my husband’s. But they supported us and have given us space to make our own decisions. We’ve now been married for 12 years and have a beautiful 10 year old daughter. This caller reminds me a lot of my mother-in-law! We’re so different, but she’s always made me feel loved and welcomed!

@eurekahope5310 10 месяцев назад

Beautiful story! May your marriage and family be blessed!

@EnfinLibreNM 10 месяцев назад

Thank you John for saying that the new wife might come from a toxic relationship. I had decades of abuse from my family and it's taken a long time to move through this.

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

I’m so sorry

@Amandapuhlease 10 месяцев назад

She’s very extreme and kept her kids in a box their whole life now they’re jumping at any opportunity

@hazelwood55 10 месяцев назад

Here is some advice that a friend's mother gave me (she had a very hard time with her mother-in-law), "Marry an Orphan."

@and1813777 10 месяцев назад

Bro wanted to get out of the barracks clearly, the military financially rewards you for getting married quickly.

@Ryan-wx1bi 10 месяцев назад

He's been in for 5 years, not exactly brand new.

@and1813777 10 месяцев назад

@@Ryan-wx1bi more so mean quickly into a relationship, and skipping the dating phase entirely.

@Ryan-wx1bi 10 месяцев назад

@@and1813777 at least it wasn't a stripper like most guys 😂

@P.Rack25 10 месяцев назад

A guy I was in the military with went home on leave and came back married to a woman almost twice his age because she bought him a shirt. 😅

@user-lm6jh4yr6n 10 месяцев назад

She is so beyond controlling she has a plan for all her kids lives - it’s ridiculous how are people supposed to know what they want if they can’t date! These people are adults let the live!

@SirenaSpades 10 месяцев назад

Why don't parents LET GO? Especially now days. They want to keep adult children sheltered and in their basements forever.

@queenbutterfly4888 3 месяца назад

You don’t know what love is

@MikaelaCarrizo 9 месяцев назад

Coming from a home that was dis functional and marrying into an amazing family, this girl is blessed to have married into yours! I have a similar situation too, husband in the military, got married quick, shocked his family. But they received me with open arms and I was absolutely changed by that. They have taught me so much and having a mother and father figure you can trust is life changing. Kudos to you, mom, you’re loving your son and your daughter in law is amazing, even though they scared you, you’re opening your home to them. You’re amazing and she just needs you to teach her your ways and let her make her own path. ❤

@Gabster1990 10 месяцев назад

Who knows, maybe they'll be married for a long time or short time. Just support your son as much as you can. Young people be dumb and they eventually learn their lesson over dumb decisions they make.

@meganbaril7847 10 месяцев назад

Can't imagine this mom would really be on board with her son being married a short time to this person!

@RepentImmediately 10 месяцев назад

@@meganbaril7847oh well. He's an adult.

@blakeharrison3972 10 месяцев назад

We don’t let them date but I met my husband at 15

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Hahahaha

@jimv77 10 месяцев назад

I met my wife in a chatroom back in 2001 when talking to strangers online was still considered creepy. We lived in the same city so I called her after a few days and met her at a restaurant a week later in June 2001. We hanged out after work EVERDAY and I met her parents a month later and we were engaged by September 2001 (this engagement was by her dad request to be honest---this is after only 3 months dating) and married July 2002 (13 months after meeting). She met all the checkboxes for me as a wife and I knew it. I have two kids who are older teens....and if they did what I did...not gonna lie.... I'd be scared as a parent and might even have to go crazy....double standard yes I know...hahahaha.

@rebeccaoprea9917 10 месяцев назад

Sheltering kids from the world is unrealistic and can even se them up for failure. That being said that you still protect and teach your children about the world.

@nigelmcgill4916 10 месяцев назад

I’m only at the beginning of the call and my family was 100% like this first part. 5 kids in my family. We weren’t allowed to date. Homeschooled. My sisters got married in mid 20s but neither of the boys got married. That is until last year my younger brother eloped with his first girlfriend of 4 months. Ironic hahaha.

@rebekahwilson7703 10 месяцев назад

Your job as a parent is to give them a good foundation, keep communicating with them, and teach them to think for themselves.

@ronirony2122 10 месяцев назад

Some get married to get away from home.

@pitbull7885 10 месяцев назад

sure does sound like it

@eurekahope5310 10 месяцев назад

He was already away from home. He was more likely fleeing the barracks.

@ms.herlan7860 10 месяцев назад

I did. Huge mistake!

@LSSYLondon 3 месяца назад

Yup. Best choice ever. To get away from my crazy parents.

@chey6073 3 месяца назад

I know someone who did that. Our family tried to warn him and now he says he regrets not listening

@menotyou6630 10 месяцев назад

I’m about to be 44 and I’m a little girl broken by my parents while being a woman in her “happily ever after”…it’s such a conundrum of emotions. This woman is lovely…I believe she has no concept of how broken this young woman was. I pray for them all. Sincerely, Never a Daughter

@CatharineCummings 10 месяцев назад

Please get a counselor or someone in your corner. I'm glad you're still on the planet 🌏. You are a beautiful soul.

@milagroslh1551 10 месяцев назад

This woman is greedy emotionally. She disrespected the girls family. Her son was wrong to do that and she did not tell him he did wrong.

@menotyou6630 10 месяцев назад

@@milagroslh1551her “family” is probably a horror story…ESPECIALLY if she was raised by narcissists!! You can shove your head’ further into the sand and stick with your thoughts.

@menotyou6630 10 месяцев назад

@@CatharineCummingsI have a wonderful marriage and he is my rock. I’m 100% grounded in who I am and I know that my childhood (that chased me into adulthood) is what made me SO damn fierce about my future/present. If you knew 1/2 of my story you would wonder why it wasn’t a movie already or why I have not called in to this show. 🤣🤣

@carolallison9685 10 месяцев назад

Man, she would hate being my mom. I met my husband on adult friend finder. I invited him over for a one night stand, and he just didnt stop calling me so i married him. Figured if he didnt want to leave, might as well pay pess in taxes. So now weve been married for a very long time, and are raising 3 kids.

@texasrodeogirl3814 10 месяцев назад

You’re kidding….right?

@TheRealHerbaSchmurba 3 месяца назад

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Nice

@melissam6037 10 месяцев назад

She smugly went on about how wonderful her relationship with her husband is, and seems so overbearing, I wonder what the husband really thinks 🙄

@meganbaril7847 10 месяцев назад

Same with the kids. Do these adult not married grown kids understand how controlling their mother was and how that potentially hindered them! She sure has a rosy view of her family but that doesn't mean all of her family members share the same view.

@snsn7251 10 месяцев назад

Exactly what I was thinking

@Guitarlvr01 10 месяцев назад

This woman sounds like my worst nightmare for a mother in law 😂 she literally knows nothing about the relationship with the DIL’s parents. She needs to mind her dang business. 😅 Nosy @$$ Met her husband at 15 but didn’t allow her teens to date. Okay, nut job! She sounds soooo controlling 😅

@Kwildcat13 10 месяцев назад

Did you listen to everything .. good lord I would hope my kids mother in law cared . She seems like a great mother and a good mother in law

@Guitarlvr01 10 месяцев назад

@@Kwildcat13 I listened to the whole call, she sounds like a busy body who needs to mind her own. She’s trying to force the girl to reconcile a situation she knows nothing about.

@queenbutterfly4888 3 месяца назад

@@Kwildcat13I agree

@ivankrushensky 2 месяца назад

Thank God someone else can see through the bs. She is crazy. She changes her tune when she doesn't get the responses she wants so she can "look good" to people in public (on a public call). At the end of the day, she's trying to control the lives of ADULTS. Crazy. Master manipulation. Control freak.

@melissab3217 10 месяцев назад

At this point, they're married. Your support and excitement are crucial for the relationship to be successful, especially since her parents have turned their back. Honestly their behavior shows me that she's probably running from abuse. I can relate and got married as soon as I could. Your family is now a safe space for her to get some stability and community. Please continue to embrace her (and her brother) and don't push any kind of reconciliation. If the opportunity presents itself, she'll take it. As kids, we all want our parents to be a loving safe space, but our parents sometimes refuse to be.

@johnbacon4997 10 месяцев назад

How? Sex is important for relationships

@River10000 10 месяцев назад

It takes forever for these people to get to their actual relatable questions.

@kw2075 10 месяцев назад

I’m convinced that at the end of the calls when John is done and wrapping up that the caller is muted 😂😂😂

@nicolab2075 10 месяцев назад

It's the Ramsey way .... I think it works

@RepentImmediately 10 месяцев назад

I think those final thoughts are recorded afterwards and edited in

@ember13dp 10 месяцев назад

@@RepentImmediatelyno it's the muted thing, I've heard them mention it one time

@AmandaOwensliterature 10 месяцев назад

I have noticed he presses a button when he wants the caller mute.

@bufficliff8978 5 месяцев назад

Yes

@TrishDigginsDesign 10 месяцев назад

I got married at 18. I’m 52. Same husband. Have a great career, lovely daughter.

@videofan1010 10 месяцев назад

You. Are. Rare...

@bonjoursophie 10 месяцев назад

Definitely the exception, not the rule

@tatianatlucek603 3 месяца назад

Way to go Melissa! I know there are a lot of comments on here about being overprotective, but you sound like a life-saver from someone who has been there. Thank you so much for talking through this! This feels so similar to my own story...we didn't elope, but my in-laws would have supported it if we did. My own mom is not allowed to speak to me, and my siblings want virtually nothing to do with me.... all because I moved away from home (at 25)! John's right... in my case there was a lot of abuse growing up. My mother-in-law has truly become my best friend, and she definitely has shown me what a "normal loving Christian family" looks like! I am so appreciative that they have taken me in so fully! I am turning 29 in a few months and have been married (to the greatest man) for a little over two years and have a beautiful baby girl. So blessed! 😊 🙏

@hadenanderson563 10 месяцев назад

Plus having school-kid crushes is taboo when your only associates are your actual brothers.

@DannyD-lr5yg 10 месяцев назад

True but many homeschool families actually go out and do a lot - in their communities, with other homeschool families, at local community colleges, etc. I was homeschool led for elementary and middle school, and we did things like: took a science class where we dissected sheep hearts, went bowling every Thursday with other homeschool people, and had about 5-7 fellow homeschool families that we constantly did stuff with - they were more like cousins, really. I’m 30 now and am glad I wasn’t homeschooled for ALL my schooling, but like I’m still great friends with most of the kids from the other families.

@meganbaril7847 10 месяцев назад

Love this

@spcvonhamm8857 10 месяцев назад

This lady is smug. I’ve met men’s mothers who are like this.

@EmpressMermaid 10 месяцев назад

When you choose to raise your kids in a protected bubble, don't be shocked at how much it hurts when that bubble bursts. As good as her heart is, she has NOT prepared her children to live in the real world.

@risingwithphoenixnuru8532 10 месяцев назад

I have listened to Dr. John for a couple of months and with every episode, I am learning and growing and this episode is literally everything.

@samrusoff 10 месяцев назад

Mom thinks she can shape exactly how her kids will develop into adults... how surprising she thinks that everyone needs to stay connected with their parents throughout life. Lordy

@sobeliever1638 10 месяцев назад

You miss the part where she accepted the situation even though it was nothing like she imagine it to be.

@sarahmar123 10 месяцев назад

I can relate so hard to this. My significant other has a wonderful family that is amazing. And my family is a toxic wreck.

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Same. Married ten years now

@BassBwoy3 10 месяцев назад

I truly hope he's attracted to her because she's a great life partner and not because 'she needs help and I can fix/love her better than her family can'. That would be the beginning of a toxic relationship. I dated my ex partially for those reasons and became more invested in her because I wanted to help her. It's not a good foundation for any long term relationship.

@asingleton8295 9 месяцев назад

Wow! I learned as much from the guest mom Melissa as I learned from Dr. John! She received feedback really well and seemed sincerely understanding. I listened to this three times in one day to internalize how she managed John's disapproval of her mothering style. She leaned into it with understanding. She seems to really know she is always growing too.

@TheRealHerbaSchmurba 3 месяца назад

Everyone else is shitting on her lol. Kinda makes me winder if they listen past a couple talking points before grand generalizatoon.

@zarahshabir3492 13 дней назад

They definitely didnt stick around because i totally agree she handled the advice and critique so well! Seems so well-meaning trying to figure this out in real time

@lesliemills5215 10 месяцев назад

Wait her son is how old? He is a Marine! This is almost typical of military members they meet and sometimes marry. The Mother seems controlling and she can't control this so she is not happy. Get over it.

@Kwildcat13 10 месяцев назад

Did you listen to the whole call ?

@queenbutterfly4888 3 месяца назад

You’re nuts

@random-nz7dy 10 месяцев назад

This lady is just too much. Too intense about freaking everything. Chill out and let people live their lives. I like how she kept amending her previous statements whenever John would point something out as a constructive advice. And I also think it's hilarious how she barely knows this person, and two seconds ago she was disapproving of the relationship and now she completely 100% believes this 18-year-old girl that her parents are narcissists lol. Which basically anytime anybody throws that word around anymore it's lost all its meaning. But man this lady is just so intense. I imagine that every conversation she has with everybody including with the barista at coffee shops is level 10 intensity

@brokenlyspiritual 8 месяцев назад

As someone who was raised in a very violent household, you are wrong. You do not get to dictate what she does with her parents. Stop trying to control her and your son.

@DevHazy 3 месяца назад

Yep

@MiZZVMN 5 месяцев назад

“We are stationed” told me everything.

@Ruthbaby175 3 месяца назад

Yep, it's a sure sign. She sounded exactly like the wives who present themselves as a military member. I haven't encountered a mom like that but it doesn't surprise me.

@jenniferpearce1052 3 месяца назад

I get the wife saying "we are stationed" if the wife is actually going with the husband to bases all over the world. But not the mom of the service member.

@kimberlysmith7625 10 месяцев назад

Caller... you're trying to mold and shape your adult children? They are making their own choices. Did you not raise them to become autonomous individuals capable of making their own decisions? Your progeny are not required to align their thinking with yours.

@AbbaJoy1 4 месяца назад

Does this remind anyone else of Michelle Duggar of 19 kids and Counting? I wish this newly married couple well!

@elanorapowell6811 10 месяцев назад

My husband and I have been together for 5 years and knew from the time we met we were going to be together. Moved in together after 6 months, married at a year and had our first son at 2 years. I’m now 8 months pregnant with our second son. Whirlwind marriages are not failed from the beginning. My mother adores my husband, his mother tolerates me. Pretends to like me, none the less, their opinions didn’t matter. We are the ones in love. We are the team. We are the one raising our boys. We are the ones choosing to be together day after day and to work for it. Parents need to step back and allow their children to be happy.

@tamarasnook 8 месяцев назад

John, this whole thing about the young girlfriend / wife and her Mom, was spot on. That melted my heart, and maybe helped me feel better too!

@megalopolis2015 10 месяцев назад

Great connection and advice on this call. Words cannot express how much I Love this caller. She is delightful, idealistic, a bit naive, Loving, and open to suggestions. I could see her eagerly writing everything down that Dr. John was saying to her. For a helicopter parent, she seemed reasonably self-aware, willing to make fun of herself for it, seemingly open to change, and is also approachable. That's one of the reasons "the argument" was so hilarious, because it was like a family comedy show, with the adult child giving feedback about her mom's "yelling" compared to her father's. The fact that this mom embraced her new daughter in law, despite the shock she felt, just speaks so much to her character and heart, despite sometimes making an incorrect assessment and potentially rose colored advice. Despite this young lady making a very rash decision to marry, and the fact that one of the reasons might have been to escape her home life, I'm really rooting for her in her new marriage. It seems like she married a wonderful family, and I pray everything works out wonderfully for everyone. By the way, Dr. John, you missed a gem of a potential by not calling her Sweet Melissa.

@hadenanderson563 10 месяцев назад

He loves metal. Not the ABB.

@elyse443 10 месяцев назад

Helicopter parenting should be called overly controlling, enmeshed parenting. Should be called “not letting your children be autonomous” Or even “forcing my beliefs on children and suffocating them with needing them to live, think, and be my way” parenting. “Even when they’re adults I’m going to control their lives” parenting. Helicopters should be offended.😂

@ultimately-sabrina 3 месяца назад

Exactly Dr. John!! Hello?!?! Homeschool your kids and be in their ear their whole childhood talking about spouses?? Come on mom! Dr. Nailed it!!

@ashvaz7060 10 месяцев назад

Something similar like this happened to my nephew and my sister. They were both were 18 went to Vegas came back home fast forward three years later divorced with a baby girl. My sister embraced it, and at the end of the day things were calmly settled . Everyone parted ways. Point of the story, I could only go two ways they’ll divorce or live a decently life . Just hope for the best . And stop pressuring you child to not have bf/gfs and look for a spouse .

@ashvaz7060 10 месяцев назад

IT**

@starlingswallow 10 месяцев назад

Your nephew and sister? So your siblings child and your sister got married??

@ashvaz7060 10 месяцев назад

My sister is 50 years old. her son is my nephew 18. Married a 18 year old girl .

@rubyb7252 10 месяцев назад

I'm glad this call is featured separately because I loved this call, as the daughter in law to such a mother. Trying to show more grace to my mother in laws helicoptering, and trying to focus on the love and supportive intentions behind it while also stepping into our own as a young couple. Almost 2 years in that balance is finally being found, as we both grieve what marriage to her son would look like and both build something together. It's been a bit rough and I almost gave up, but I think that new picture is being drawn😊

@sc3341 3 месяца назад

AMAZING MOM!!!! DOING WHAT ANY LOVING MOM IS WIRED TO DO!!!!! I APPLAUD YOUR EFFORTS!!!!!!

@ivankrushensky 2 месяца назад

You must be a blast during the holidays lol

@gayeknight Месяц назад

So perfect that this young wife is getting an opportunity to see what life in a loving committed family looks and feels like❤

@peacefreedom4930 10 месяцев назад

Wow, she hit the jackpot. This is the fantasy for every abused child.

@thestorybehindthat5236 8 месяцев назад

I can assure you, it's not as it seems. As the daughter of a mother like this who watched my older brother do the exact same thing wedding a woman from a broken home at a young age. My mother played the smug "good family" card so hard on this girl it was damn near predatory. Totally concealing the fact we grew up abused ourselves. I was a young teen at the time and tried to warn the fiance, but she wouldn't believe it. Poor thing just wanted what she never had and was fooled. Ah well, eventually she caught on, but by then it was too late. There's a sweet way to be abusive, this mom has it figured out.

@LSSYLondon 3 месяца назад

@@thestorybehindthat5236 I agree. I was abused but my husband's father is also a narcissist. Took us way too long to notice the problems till we lived with them for a short time.

@betsyj.miller7950 10 месяцев назад

Malissa. This "child" is now a UNITED STATES MARINE. Let him go. You've done what you think is your best. LET THEM ALL GO.

@one_ice_cold_chiq 6 месяцев назад

I said the same thing, this is a grown man doing grown stuff. Mom needs to back up.

@misswednesday299 10 месяцев назад

Yikes! This woman is so controlling! 😢 I relate to this to a certain extent because my family home-schooled us and not that they tried to manage us, but I saw how it affected one of my brothers until they gave him all of the options until it was too late. He ended up marrying someone way too fast, and we warned him that she was bad business, which ended up being true--she used him for a green card, and was actually already married with kids in the Phillipines. You have to trust your kids and let them know that from the beginning (callers situation happened because she sounds like she enforces more than she trusts), you can teach them, but that's it, you have to let them make their own choices! Caller sounds like she wants to be in everyone's business. :$ She sounds like a high maintenance, my way is the best way person. If my MIL said that to me, I'd roll my eyes, you don't know anything about this girls life. You have be way more empathetic and try to understand where she's coming from. Try to refrain from force-feeding advice, try to listen more.

@gloriagaribay8679 Месяц назад

%1000 yeeesss!! Soo important for them to date, it also teaches them boundaries & gives them the confidence to enforce said boundaries.. I’ve even chaperoned to pls both parties & everyone was happy🎩🧸🎀

@Becks-zz2jg Месяц назад

I wasn't allowed to date or even to have guy friends and I'm 28 I've never even been in healthy relationship ...I've only been in 3 totalling less than 6 mo of my life

@Yorkiemom20 10 месяцев назад

I can’t with this woman. That wooshing sound you hear is her helicopter flying over her perfect family.

@littlemcruzat 3 месяца назад

Yeah, she drove me nuts!

@thenerdymillennial 10 месяцев назад

My mom was the same way not with dating but with other things and we now have no relationship so I am not surprised the kid eloped like that

@topaz3468 6 месяцев назад

Had controlling helicopter parents like this in high school back in the day ( graduated HS in 1975). Ran for the hills to university life and learned about friendships, life, relationships, etc. I also worked part-time while putting myself through school. Being out of that controlling environment was so important for the rest of my life. I feel sorry for these adult kids and wish them well. I also hope that their son sets serious boundaries with his parents to protect his wife!