We want to hear about your experience!! Is your spouse doing "No Contact?" And, how do you know? Or, have you been assuming your spouse is doing "No Contact" and are now just realizing it?
Ms Kimberly What if a husband does not reply everytime you text or call. This happened for 2 yrs now. Texting or miss call just to make sure he received the message. However, he replies through her daughter like sending money on her account or meet her up &give the money for monthly homemortgage, daughter is already 24 yrs old. For 2 yrs since he left he never talllked to the mother or answered her text messages or calls
I recently discovered your channel and my husband and I were doing pretty well until a really hot day earlier this week when he said something snarky and
He promised me that he wouldn’t ignore me. I messaged him about financial stuff, we don’t live together, all he does is ignore me. I can’t get a response from him, he won’t answer my calls, emails, or texts. I’ve tried backing off, but nothing. I don’t know what to do, it’s making me so upset, I just need a simple answer to a financial question.
This video was exactly what I needed to hear and watch. Precisely what is happening with my wife and our separation but i have faith that with time and utilizing Smart contact and the P.I.E.S. As i have been doing for these past couple months will definitely make positive strides in my relationship. I’m eternally grateful for finding Marriage Helper and learning so much about myself and how to improve not just myself but my marriage with my beautiful wife.
Wow Erik! We're so happy that you've found the principals we teach here to be helpful. We hope you continue working on yourself no matter what! We are here for you! Blessings,
Marriage Helper absolutely! Thank you guys all so much for your wisdom and experience with helping people just like me in finding solutions, methods that are practical and inspiring while providing hope that we all deserve to be understood, loved and have the confidence to overcome our unique challenges. I can’t wait to be reunited with my beautiful wife again. Only time will tell but God is good and you’re all a blessing to me for the knowledge I’ve gained through this painful separation. God bless you all.
Im practacing smart contact .. for the first time she reached out to me letting me know she misses my friendship .. without trying to give me false hope .. without your videos I would have little hope so thank you
Being dismissive, ignoring, pulling away, being emotionally abusive is not for a healthy relationship. If I just ignore this behavior, it enables the abuse. It chips away at the love you had for this person. As a Christian, a man should not act this way. They are not capable of communicating or they choose to hurt you on purpose.
You just described me 😅 It's not "abuse" in my case but open signaling that you are not longer liked. Forcing husband to like you by blaming and crying is a typical response from dumb women who don't care why man don't like them in the first place. Good luck 👍 Of course, using religion as a stick is my favorite one.
Just to clear things up... A lot of times when a woman leaves a long term relationship the man’s very first thoughts are “she found someone else"or “how could she do this 😡“ all these years together“ and so much more, BUT what men don’t think about is all the times she went to sleep feeling like crap because of all the times that he disrespect her or how he kept saying he would change but never did...Men don’t think about all the times she was there when no one else was. How she prayed to God to help him change. Men don’t think about how she always put everyone and everything before herself. Men don’t think about how all her friends and family told her to walk away but she still stayed. No...all men can think is “how could she do this” ...women don’t just wake up one day and decide to leave. A mans actions, his words, the way he makes her feel builds up over time and eventually all his crap becomes this weight that she just can’t carry anymore. When she stops venting to you, when she stops getting on you, when she stops trying to get you to see things her way just know it’s not because you won and finally she’ll put up with everything, it’s because she’s preparing her escape from your toxic ways. So no she didn’t leave you to find someone else . She left so she can find herself
Perhaps. However if she is feeling these things, I would assume she would communicate her concerns in order to give her husband a chance to change, rather than hold a few years of resentment and bitterness build up. Of course, in my case, there was another man.
But it's the lack of communication with your partner. If your partner constantly carries stuff for you. Then why in this circumstance something that could break the marriage are you not willing to relinquish this burden. as a guy he totally will not understand that at all. Anything that would break the marriage a guy will say it and mean it and try to overcome it for you. But most women I know say it say it and say it. Just always wrong. Always with suttle hints instead of asking directly for their guy to wake up. And then it's too late and the guy has no idea.
My spouse has ptsd. I have been his target. His brain sees me as the threat. He's afraid of what I might talk about. He's no contact. He's dysregulated or stuck in fight or flight. Nothing I can do. God needs to work in him.
Thank you Kimberly for your passion for our relationships with our spouses and for ourselves. On the road to recovery for myself, bumpy at times but... at the end of the day I can say, I am doing my best to be a better me.
My wife told me we were separating, that I had to leave the house, and that we would be "no contact" until I made changes. I had to be able to explain why I was able to destroy our marriage by cheating on her as a saved man, and how everything I did affected her. When I asked how I was going to do so with no contact, she told me that I had to figure that out on my own. I haven't been able to do so
I think the problem is this, especially in older women: Intercourse is painful and uncomfortable. And usually things progress from holding hands to kissing to hugging to asking for intercourse, or being so persuasive that they comply and it ends in pain. So in order to avoid the pain they avoid all contact because one thing leads to another.
My spiritual views & Marriage helper has help me in becoming a better me. I was the one that requested no contact... But it is to focuse on me. I am also the one that was hurt most (but either side could say that, at the end only God know) I am stuck unknowingly if I do want to fix my marrige or NOT. For now I feel No contact is better for me, to be able to work on myself. The rest is in my Lords hands. Have no control over anything only myself. Learn that here in my PIES & in my spiritual journey. Wishing everyone the best I know the feeling 💀😭
I tried talking to my husband and he completely ignored me. I tapped him on the forearm to get his attention and he looked at me with anger in his eyes. I even tried asking him about our dogs next vet visit (an M) and no response. I’m trying to stay strong and work on my PIES 🥺
@@mgomez414 he still ignores me from time to time but now I just let him be. I let him get over it and then have a conversation with him about what happened. I had a lot of maturing to do and discovering my self worth. Me and my marriage are still a work in progress ❤️
@@alejandramendoza9411 I'm in the same boat. My husband wants a divorce bug I don't. I know we can work it out and have our relationship better than ever. I don't know.
😂 It's so funny for me because I'm the ignoring one. I despise my wife for her behavior. Don't want to have anything to do with her because of how masterfully she used blame, crying, disrespecting, threats of leaving, constant unhappiness to force her way in marriage without negotiations. Any complain was meet with more of the same (crying, signaling unhappiness etc.) She got the same treatment and she is "unhappy". For me nothing changed because she was like that before but for her it's the end of the world 😄 Good. Finally she can taste her own medicine
My wife just won’t talk to me we’ve been separated for 5 months she asked for a divorce back in February. She won’t respond to anything but bills, and only sometimes. I’ve been utilizing smart contact the entire time. I’m working on myself but she won’t see it. I’ve already worked with marriage helper coaches, they’ve confirmed I’m doing all I can. She doesn’t want anything to do with me. The pain is unbearable, I still put one foot in front of the other every day, but it’s not enough. I don’t know what to do but giving her space and working on myself, my situation seems hopeless
I am separated. The biggest issue is contact. My wife says she is not throwing in the towel and then asks for me to give her time and she wants to take time to make an informed decision. Her idea is that she would work on her things and I work on my things and then if we both can sort ourselves there is a chance. It has been ten weeks and her idea of contact is her calling once a week. Am I expecting too much?
My wife doesnt want a divorce but wants 3 weeks break. She said she is not breaking up with but wants to get her head back togther. This is really hard for me but I have given her space.
What if she says she’s doing no contact for her mental health? Because she lost herself in our marriage (we were toxic) and said we both need individual therapy before we consider counseling together? It’s been 42 days and we’re barely speaking. But I do therapy and so is she.. I didn’t text her back to her last text explaining to me that her therapist has advised her to continue no contact to focus on her healing and “finding,loving and accepting “ herself.. I did push behaviors the first month.
I dont know but it feels like it, i hsvrnt seen him since oct 2022 or tslked on phone. He is short and behave like I am a buddy. I do try to not show emotions like i normally do, i am short back. It hurts and I just want to see him, he maybe never want me back. I trytonot think about him and do my own thing, i dont see whst he does on social media. I just cry today it feels awful 💔
Yes, he is doing no contact. I send reports on business items by email. He only responds once a month and only to one business item out of many in our budget.
i listen to your advice and find it very useful. thank you. However, being a visual person (also learner) I find it extremely difficult to watch you using your hand gestures all over the place... it is soooo distracting to me, I lose my focus. I had to walk away from the screen to be able to just listen and observe. thank you again for the advice. very helpful.
we were developing regular conversations after he was doing 'no contact' on me. but recently the flow of talking has decreased suddenly. what should I do?
How does it depend on that? If you have been abusive and your spouse wants you to stop contacting them - it's the same as Kimberley said. On other side if your spouse was abusive and wants you to stop contacting them - it's also the same. The difference would be if you're talking that you would like to initiate No Contact. But the whole video is about "My Spouse Is Practicing NO CONTACT On ME! What Do I Do?". If you want to not talk to your spouse it's your choice. Not the choice to build your relationship back together but if it's what you think is best for you then it's what you control. Then your spouse should watch this video.
Hi,ms.kimberly, my husband is going through a tough time right now he drinks every day use recreational drugbcoz of stress at work.he has a good job but very hectic saving ppl lives.but when his home he start drinking n being rude to the point he wants divorce, I. Want to help him I'm giving what he wants for him to recover on this .pls. help me.
Wait.. you said that if they said they were doing no contact then to respect it.. so do I do smart contact?? Or wait for her to reach out to me?? My wife said she’s doing no contact for her mental health, and her therapist has advised it. So she can focus on her.. please help me
My husband is doing that to me he has blocked on everything ,he keeps telling me he loves me,and he don't want a divorce,but he is telling everyone else we are divorced,he also keeps saying his girlfriend don't want him talking to me,I 99% sure he is in Lemarence with her,Iam so confused,we have been apart since September 2018,no kids,and Im 15 years older then him,please help me I need help in how to go to learn about my pies,I don't know where to go to please help I want my husband back and to become a better person,please help me?
Hi, Alma! I'm so sorry you are going through this. We are here for you. Please call us at 866-903-0990 or fill in the form on this page for someone to reach out to you: marriagehelper.com/contact/
Hey All Things Viva Lafrance, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together within 48 hours.
She had a lot of insecurities since childhood basically. I tried everything I could to make her feel secure. Essentially never doing anything or never going anywhere that didn't involve work or my family. Tthat still wasn't enough. It never got resolved. She's currently in counseling. She doesn't want to go with me. We are currently separated, but I'm praying and doing everything I can towards reconciliation.
Yep. If you apply it with unconditional love. Even when they are yelling at you, it still works. When they are blaming you, it still works. When they don't want anything to do with you, it still works. Don't expect it to work on your first try though. It's more like an art than a science. The more you do it, the better you get at it, the better results you see.
my spouse stop talking to me but sometimes she does talk to me but it's always negative no matter if I say anything no matter if I say anything good I made some mistakes trying to figure out how to fix them in win her back how can I do it this is what she sent me
@Walter Lawrence and what good would that make? It's way better to listen between the lines. If it's something you've done bad - apologize. If it's a distorted reality and it's not true - say sorry that they feel or think this way, that was not your intentions. If they are just yelling for no reason, and it doesn't make any sense - you should still calmly tell them to stop that because she's disrespecting you. If she doesn't agree to stop, then you say that "I can see we're both emotional right now, we should put away the conversation for now". Only then you can leave. Treating your spouse with respect even when they don't show you any is what makes them wonder why they are yelling in the first place. It's socially unaccepted to get angry at the person that is apologizing and respect anything you do. It works with the kids, and even with any other people too. The first thing is you don't shout back. You get your emotions under control. In PIES - E stands for Emotionally better.
Practice smart contact. Only talk about household and business issues. Nothing about the relationship. Other than that speak when spoken to. And always respond with a kind attitude. Follow her lead. If she responds with negativity then leave the room. It’s works. Been doing this for a couple of months and she’s beginning to open up slowly.
@@Zvezdachka3 no one said it's going to be easy. Sometimes we all fail to keep quiet, but I like the phrase from MH: "If anything works, this will..." The best time to be a better person and act wisely was yesterday. The second best time is now.
Sorry your wrong, when married to a toxic narcissist, no contact is a very important tool to use, and has helped me greatly. My ex lied and betrayed me and then pre planned to get a barring order against me for 3 years. I haven't seen my 4 children in over 2.5 years due to parental Alienation. My barrister advised me to throw my phone away because any communication can be twisted out of context and used against me. So until my barring order is over, to avoid any misjustice and jail, no contact has protected and saved my mental health and well being. Your correct lots of coaches on RU-vid praise no contact, I think they are correct, maybe you should look at your argument against no contact again, and respect others viewpoint, as you are the first person I have come across who dislikes no contact. Sorry but the YES for no contact, way ounumber the NO's.
My wife is leaving me in june...she doesn't want any contact not even smart contact.... she's officially checked out! Only thing is to give that space..... we still live together and it's hard. Ready to give up
Hey P O, Just out of curiosity, have you taken advantage of our free mini course? We know times are tough and want to provide as much as we can to you free of charge. That's why we created this free mini course. It will teach you how to get your spouse back and give you a plan moving forward! You can get access to it directly by following this link: your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course Also, consider checking out the SMART Contact Toolkit. There may be some things in this free ebook that could still help! Free Ebook here: bit.ly/3BSuzRo Lastly, I would strongly advise you call us directly! We can give you 1 on 1 guidance to help you through this!! We believe there is always hope and have seen situations like your get completely turned around and made better than before. Call us at 1 866 903 0990! We hope this helps!
