The Holidays are hard for most of us. Being with family is difficult for many people. You are not alone in this. I have had some bad Thanksgivings and Christmases lately, with family. Like they say you can't pick your family, but you can pick your destiny. Its okay to have an emotional breakdown. Just take it one day at a time. At least you have a family, some people have no one. So be a little thankful for what you have even though its not ideal. I am an INFJ and its really hard for me to be around a lot of people. Sometimes, I just can't stand small talk. I think its because I need to really have to be interested in meaningful discussion with smaller group of people. I try but its draining and make me want to leave especially when I feel uncomfortable. I have studied my personality type and its rare but it makes me realized, I am what I am and try to deal with the rareness of my situation. Life can be good and I will continue to achieve some success in it. Peace to you Kenny. Just be true to yourself and I think you are. Continue to do what you like best by encouraging others. You are doing a great job.
Suggestions... Maybe a vlog with some of your favorite hauls like books, food, shopping or favorite places you enjoy. Nothing to serious, a fun topic or something unusual or quirky place.
I feel very awkward around my family, except for a couple people with whom I'm reasonably close. It's not a touchy-feely close, but a mutual respect and understanding. Ironically, the few family members i'm more or less close to or at least accepting of, I'm much more my truer self toward---cynical, blunt, sometimes, almost combative. Most of my family is "society", and society and i don't get along. Most of the time I'm fine with this, but sometimes I will feel pangs of remorse and guilt that my attitude is hurting their feelings, which it may well be. I think, someday I'll make it up to them and I'll have a nice, pleasant visit with them where i'm cheerful and engaged. But I've got things i need to focus on now. Don't obsess about me. Any and all sentimentality for and enjoyment of Xmas and Thanksgiving left me by the time I was 14 years old. I'm not bitter or sad about that at all, just uncomfortable with the knowledge that society thinks I am or should be. I don't begrudge people and families their holidays, in fact I wish them the best, but don't pity me for just sitting them out and enjoying the day in my own way. I share your worries about driving, and I've been driving a lot longer than you have. When I angle park, I try to do it nose in so I won't have to back out. I do a lot of backing, some of my job requires it, but I'm always nervous about bumping into something or someone. Maybe we both have ADHD. At least you can connect with people through sports. I can't at all. I don't enjoy them, spectator sports anyway, and I'm totally ignorant about them. This alone marks me as a major social freak. Moods will always fluctuate. Make some reasonable happiness and enjoyment goals and appreciate small achievements. Expecting to be wildly happy and achieve some sort of glorious plateau for the rest of your life is very unrealistic, and may make you even unhappier. But I see you're doing a lot better overall. That's great. Maybe you don't need my advice. It's always good to hear from you.
I have depression and I'm alone 24/7 I think that I have gotten used to being alone. No parents to speak of. No one. I know that I'm bitchy so I stay alone. I can't put up with a lot of what people have to say. You don't seem to have any trouble speaking on you tube. Seems you have a lot of going for you. Seems you are a little insecure don't worry about it keep on trying. Send them a video. Good luck to you. You are not as bad as you think. You are doing fine.
I have the same issue, I simply can't connect to people, to friends, to family members. That's why I hate holidays so much because I'm forced to spend time with my parents and relatives. Honestly I'd rather spend the holidays alone because I always end up being frustrated and anxious when I have to spend hours with my family.
I feel ya on this the holidays can be a stressful time because you are told by society it needs to be filled with family and friends and happiness etc...I'm the opposite of your situation, my parents are divorced and I have sisters and brother that are 15 or so years older than me. I get to see them only during holidays but since them and my cousins (same age as them) grew up together I feel left out and don't connect with them at all. not being able to connect with them and not having many friends and it being winter making my depression worse, this isn't a good combo it just makes me miserable and hating myself for not having more relationships with people. Some of my family I wish I wouldn't have to see because it's like a trigger that sets me off in bad mood and I want to get on good track by cutting out negative people in my life, but because my dad is still here I have to see them for him. I know that I should be thankful for what I have, but at end of the day I resort to comparing myself to other people with perfect family and have lot of friends and I just wish I had that for myself. I wish I could give you advice on how to connect with your family but you can always look at positive side it's better to have some relationship with them then none...there might be a day when you need them. You can't get comfortable or closer to people or know more stuff to talk about (and its same way with them) without interacting more with them. Even if it is little things you have in common with your siblings (playing video games, watching movies, cooking) use that as way to get closer and even if there is hardly any verbal exchange at least they know you made effort.
It is very unfortunate when one doesn't get along with their own family. And this is more common than uncommon. Unfortunately, my mom doesn't get along very well with her side of the family. That's why we hardly get together with them on the holidays. And we hardly see my late dad's side of the family because, most of them live out of the state. I live in Mount Clemens, Michigan about one hour away from Detroit and so does my mom. And a lot of them live out of the country too. I have relatives in Europe, Australia, Canada and in South America, who I've met only once or twice. And there are a lot of relatives who I've never met to this very day. I keep in touch with them. They are very nice people. I have got to know a lot more of my cousins on my dad's side of the family, than on my mom's side of the family. When my mom and I get a chance to travel which is not very often, we visit them. Family dinners with my dad's side of the family are much more nicer. Especially on the holidays when we are fortunate enough, to make the trip to visit them.🦃
I am never expected to go to family dinners at the homes of the relatives! Because they've always been so boring or depressing!! My mom and I go to holiday dinners with a few good friends!!!🌝
You said you have trouble connecting with people--even your own family. How did you finally connect with your girlfriend? I have the same problem as far as friends and family are concerned! I am the only one in my family who just sets and listens to everyone else and seldom gets into a conversation--and if i do it is just a few words! How does one get "more social?" I enjoy your videos very much--you bring up points all the time that I have not thought about! Keep up the good work!
i'm wondering if you took asperger into consideration, i think i might have it although i'm not diagnosed and some of the things you're saying fit the criteria of that...the fact that you're not being able to connect with people is a common treat and also your breakdown looks a lot like a meltdown, poor social skills is another thing, not being able to express your emotions...if you know you don't have that, then that's my bad...just thought you might wanna look it up and sorry for my english, it's not my first language
