My Wife Is An Alcoholic And I Want A Divorce

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My Wife Is An Alcoholic And I Want A Divorce
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Опубликовано:

4 мар 2022

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Комментарии : 584

@lesterparker1594 2 года назад

My wife and I were going through a tough time about 7 years ago. We both would drink too much on the weekends. We decided we didn’t want to split up. Instead we wanted to give up drinking. Dear god, the different in our marriage has been unbelievable. We haven’t had a fight in 5 years. We will never touch alcohol again. My life is great without it

@rory644 2 года назад

If alcohol was invented today it would be illegal its the most horrible legal drug, I stopped drinking a few years ago the best decision i ever made

@lesterparker1594 2 года назад

@@rory644 best decision I ever made too. People can do what they want, I don’t think it should be illegal. But I can do what I want too, and I don’t want to be around people that drink. It ruins so many lives.

@CarnivoreStork 2 года назад

It was illegal at one time in our country. It was called prohibition. Why was it passed? Well the lying media will tell you that it was The Christians who didn’t want people to ‘Have fun’. But it was actually the thinking women in the small towns & large cities. They were trying to legalize voting for women. And also trying to stop men from drinking up all their paychecks come Friday nite & the weekend leaving their children starving the rest of the week. There is a reason the intelligent people called it ‘Demon rum’ or ‘Spirits’.

@Damon-qt3fw 2 года назад

With any substance like that, you can give up one thing for everything, or you can give up everything for one thing.

@nautaYT 2 года назад

@@lesterparker1594 with that reasoning you should add "I would like the alcohol to be illegal", if you prefer people not to be destroyed by it. Just pure deduction. You cauldron

@Cuntspiracy2.0 5 месяцев назад

I remember as a kid, when I was about 13, I'd wait around a half hour after school for my brother and sister to get out of their school so I could walk them home. My mom would tell us if dad showed up and offered us a ride home, to just say no, walk home. Every now and then he would show up, roll the window down, drunkingly tell us to get in the car... I'd say no, and he'd get angry, and follow us for about a block yelling at us before blowing away in a fury. He'd call me after dinner, when he knew my mom wasn't in the kitchen and I would hear the phone from the TV room, and tell me where he kept the spare car keys and to tell me to sneak away and come get him. I would drive down to his favorite bar, and his drunk buddies would all laugh about how he had his "own personal little taxi" and then I'd drive him home. Drunks are a special sort of hell for children.

@mmp495 Месяц назад

That’s so sad. I remember doing my dad’s laundry and cleaning up after him when I was 7-8yrs old when he was on one of his binges. As I went on in life I realized those were the first acts of parentfication and enablement. Children should not deal with those heavy issues…ever. It’s been a long road and lots of therapy but I feel more healed and happy with healthy boundaries.

@katemiller7874 Месяц назад

Dad needs to protect the children first. Mom needs help too but children first.

@katesanderson3208 Месяц назад

I wish my mum had done what Dr. John recommended here. She didn’t want to give up dad’s paycheque.

@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 2 года назад

When "Mom" sounds like she's been drinking, and says she's heading somewhere else in the car, the first thing you do is call the police and say she's driving drunk. Whether she is picking up the kids or not. Because someone else's kids are on the road too!

@sarahpascoe3135 Месяц назад

My children were killed by a drunk driver when they were just 12 and 10… I would have no qualms about reporting her if I knew she was behind the wheel of a tonne of speeding metal with alcohol in her system. Please don’t let her take the children anywhere when she’s under the influence, they are innocent and precious. Protect them at all costs.

@catherineharcourt8592 Месяц назад

So sorry you lost 2 children Loosing one messed my head. I agree with you

@morgandawn6413 2 года назад

I pray he takes those kids and gets FULL custody. As a child of an alcoholic mother, I would have given anything for my dad to rescue me from the nightmare of abuse I lived in. It haunts me and torments me to this day. Please God save those children. They do not deserve a life of mental anguish.

@hudsonmilbank Месяц назад

The problem is that they courts are more likely to give custody to an alcoholic mother before they would give to a hard-working, well-adjusted father.

@catherinewilke5583 Месяц назад

The courts seem not to care where the kids end up. I wouldn’t be surprised if she gets half custody. She may need to use an interlock device, but she’ll probably get them half time. This poor guy. He will deal with the fallout. The kids will suffer, there is no way around it. They are already suffering, so he should just get out.

@CMM726 Месяц назад

Exactly. I always wanted to live with my dad as a kid (back and forth custody litigation) due to my moms drinking. He wasn’t a saint, he was addicted to pain pills, but it was far better than Drunk who wakes me up on a school night to fight with me about her missing cigarettes

@meancarleen 2 года назад

ABSOLUTELY divorce and ABSOLUTELY file for full custody of your kids; do NOT even think about leaving your kids in such a situation

@user-po7ry2tg3w Месяц назад

Separation works too and leaves the door open if she gets clean. I was separated for a full year-- just to make sure i went back to a clean and sober Person

@azimuthbusinesscenter Месяц назад

Those pesky vows... They don't matter

@ammcroft Месяц назад

YEAH, not to me the studies of trauma bekng worse than trying to get the spouse help first? Sheesh. Leople don't actually know whats best for their mother AND kkds. Kids will be traumatkzed for life if he just ripped them feom their mother thks extreme. @@azimuthbusinesscenter

@camcam221133 2 года назад

I grew up with an alcoholic mother, she still is and I'm 29 now. GET OUT. PLEASE FOR YOUR KIDS. it's the one thing I wish was done differently. Please protect your children. Listening to this triggered me so badly. Every thing he said is what I lived .

@huskeychima Год назад

I'm going through the same thing, I love my wife , she is a lovely wife and mother. I don't know what more to do.

@joetheboy04 Год назад

From someone who hates doesn't drink: Please get some therapy, you have been really hurt and you have not healed from it yet.

@om617yota7 Год назад

100% this, get away. I'm the adult child of an alcoholic mom as well. Even if you don't do it for yourself, do it for your kids. Go go go go go!

@YankeeinTexas812 Год назад

And don’t give her custody of the children, as a child of a single mom/alcoholic it will be a life of abuse for them unless she gets help I’m also a recovering alcoholic myself.. shocker!

@Ad-Lo Год назад

@@YankeeinTexas812oh no! All the best to you!

@BSCTrainerRob 2 года назад

In my experience a lot of these Christian centered counselors have a naivety to them or like an innocence... Dr Deloney does not. He's the real deal

@lk1869 2 года назад

Agreed! The idea of “in the world but not of it” has created a lot of worldly inexperience. I am the board chair of a Christian charity. I still remember when we were discussing a policy about hiring and accountability. The board was shocked when I reminded them that there were pathological people in Christianity and our job was to protect the organization and it’s members. The silence was deafening. It was the first time some of them heard what I thought was a simple fact.

@breeeque 2 года назад

Agree he has solid advice

@lorim2000 2 года назад

I think what you mean is a lot of Christians (I’m one too) try to counsel without having professional training (churches do this a lot), they want everyone to have endless chances, and they want to protect the person by covering up their issues. It’s actually enabling a lot of bad choices. I’ve seen it quite a bit, well meaning Christians making it worse!

@haileymontgomery3659 2 года назад

@@lorim2000 So true

@daniam707 2 года назад

That is because you have not met a matured Christian who walks the walk and talks the talk.

@christinebutler7630 2 года назад

Dad needs to file for sole custody. Dad should have left her after the first punch.

@annakinderman8135 Месяц назад

People don’t talk enough about the traumatic experience of having an alcoholic mother. Whenever I mention I had an alcoholic parent growing up, people assume it was my dad.

@barb7124 29 дней назад

My husband had a mom like that. He is a screwball sometimes

@ohdwight 6 дней назад

poor guy ; needs to get custody of his kids ; no other way

@carolannstevens5814 Месяц назад

My dad was an alcoholic. Damaged so much. I married an alcoholic first time second time I married an abuser. Show your children that they are worth more and keep them safe. 🙏🏻

@lovingsunshine3515 Месяц назад

Couldn’t you tell red flags when you married the two dudes that one was alcoholic and the other was an abuser?

@xro1983 Месяц назад

@@lovingsunshine3515that’s what she wanted

@KP-st6hk 29 дней назад

@@lovingsunshine3515maybe it was difficult to grasp the idea, but Dr. John dives deep into how these childhood traumas warp one’s psyche and sense of value. So it’s much more complicated than how you suppose

@lovingsunshine3515 29 дней назад

@@KP-st6hk I guess so. And the main reason why the sober parent shouldn’t stay in a toxic marriage like that especially when there’s children involved. It seems like the cycle never ends.

@jimmorrison9319 7 месяцев назад

I beg my wife for years and years and years to stop drinking and she finally has but now the damage has been done to our marriage and I’m afraid it’s lost forever. Some lines just can’t be crossed.

@Adaline_Official 2 года назад

When I told my ex husband to go to rehab or I am leaving, he said he wasn't going to rehab so I left.

@glowieokenney7915 5 месяцев назад

Same!!!!!!

@deborahdebaccoweddle2420 4 месяца назад

Good on you

@alexandereisen3486 3 месяца назад

Rehab is for quitters

@TimesUp8888 Месяц назад

Same!

@coolaunt516 2 года назад

Four words: Run like the wind. For the kids. They deserve better.

@l-train7876 2 года назад

“Alcohol is a cheap substitute for relational chemicals”. Bingo🎯.

@ineedhoez Год назад

Story of my life

@Casinogirl56 2 года назад

I grew up in an alcoholic household. The emotional damage a child incurs seeing that, and the abuse, every day is huge. And lasting. Not to mention they have a big chance of having addiction issues of their own as they get older. Get out now and take them with you. Stop looking for excuses to leave.

@gwenj5419 2 года назад

The problem will be if he can't get full custody.

@nt3833 2 года назад

Yes I was thinking they same - it will be difficult for him to get full custody. It’s hard to prove that she’s an alcoholic.

@sds6303 Год назад

The trauma bond is very real for him.

@mst-pierrem5729 Год назад

Mind you I get it! If he doesnt get full costody he's going to spend that time beyond worried. I have a divorced friend who's going through this 50-50 stuff (mom irresponsable, not alcholic though) and he's not quite at work at work that week he is not with them!). He's extremely anxious despite the help he got for himself. It's very hard thing if full costody isnt acheived!

@bonnied.2192 9 месяцев назад

@@gwenj5419 and it's VERY difficult to prove that a spouse without serious documented addiction issues should have less than 50/50 custody.

@luckeytexans7287 2 года назад

Keep a diary, written and videos of her actions for court, backup from relatives, friends, once the divorce is filed. You'll need evidence, if you want 100% custody, you'll need a restraining order. So sorry and prayers for you and your children.

@charlesterrizzi8311 Месяц назад

How about pray for her and try to understand her and improve yourself and lead her

@sookibeulah9331 Месяц назад

@@charlesterrizzi8311one can pray all one wants for an addict and do everything you can to try to lead them but nothing changes until the addict decides they need to change. One can pray that the addict comes to that decision but until that happens family members have to take action to protect themselves and any children.

@stephm5877 Месяц назад

@charlesterrizzi8311 You sound like a church counselor. Your advice is for a normal marriage, not a destructive one. God tells us to set boundaries and not allow perpetual unrepentant sin. Safety comes first and yes, it requires evidence. Many children go to abusive parents in family court.

@araineacutebrownnurse7315 2 года назад

“Early on in the relationship she was volatile “… so I married her and had kids Got it 👌🏾

@gmarie3053 2 года назад

So you’re telling me I can be an abusive alcoholic, who also cheats, and a man will still pay for me to sit at home. Crazy

@Hiddenplace414 Год назад

People make mistakes and not everyone knows the proper way to love and who to love. Part of being human Got it

@ineedhoez Год назад

Pretty much.

@ineedhoez Год назад

@@gmarie3053 right?

@EAAAA1505 Год назад

I was thinking the same. They say people make mistakes, there are honest mistakes and there are people that completely ignore red flags. Ignoring the red flags is not making a mistake. It's a conscious decision and you have to deal with the consequences.

@NeccoWecco 2 года назад

I grew up with two alcoholics. The damage is devastating.

@Umrebs64 2 года назад

sorry you went through that. did they drink every day and how much?

@NeccoWecco 2 года назад

@@Umrebs64 Every day for as long as I can remember. Never a day sober. Progressively more over the years.

@Umrebs64 2 года назад

@@NeccoWecco did it kill them or did they manage to keep giong?

@NeccoWecco 2 года назад

@@Umrebs64 There's no way of knowing what will kill someone. Smoking and drinking can lead to a plethora of health issues. I know my mother is reaching the end of her life. She will never be sober. My father quit drinking for some years.

@angelawilliamsrealtor2637 10 месяцев назад

Same here, I'm 43 and im still recovering from growing up in an environment like that, they are both deceased now

@aliciaohara8794 2 года назад

This call hit so close to home. My mother was a raging alcoholic (and still struggles) when I was little and my dad got full custody. In the process, she was drinking and driving with me in the car and even got in a wreck. I remember being so scared when she had that "odor" on her breath! She never gained custody of me as a minor, or paid child support. She couldn't get her drinking under control and basically fled her parenting responsibilities. I hope this caller can see this comment. Please file for divorce and get those kids out of there!! All it takes is her thinking she can "pick up the kids" after school, and she gets in a wreck and kills them!

@texan903 2 года назад

For years, my dad has been a bad alcoholic. He would drive drunk, become enraged, engage in violence and was extremely mean when drunk. My mom knew this early in the marriage but chose to stay for over 30 years. I was the only one of the children who would acknowledge the problem. It also had the biggest toll on me as I endured the most physical abuse, including an occasion when my dad pointed his rifle at me as I was cutting grass on the lawn. Another time, we got into a physical struggle as he attempted to shove me out of a moving vehicle while he was driving. Life was crazy and chaotic at home. There was constant tension and stress and my mom enabled him, frequently looking the other way until she could no longer handle it.

@TheMechanicj 2 года назад

Yeah abs what really sucks is if that was a man she would have been put in jail over the child support a woman ah it’s ok to not pay

@aliciaohara8794 2 года назад

@@TheMechanicj You're right! Total double standard.

@smustipher 2 года назад

My mom got in 2 wrecks with myself and other siblings in tow and I'm lucky to be alive....bad news.

@Ad-Lo Год назад

@@texan903I’m sorry this happened to you. I can relate, (except for the physical abuse).

@Learn2hunt 2 года назад

Run!!! I did it for 12 years and ended up with both my kids and went on to a normal marriage and 6 more kids! Sounds so familiar the abuse and neglect. No such thing as a part time good parent.

@camxdidxthat 2 года назад

“No such thing as a part time good parent.” That’s a great quote.

@boston312 Год назад

Just curious but how does a man afford 8 kids nowadays with this inflation? I can barely take care of myself financially.

@Learn2hunt Год назад

You learn to save when you can and there’s no shortage of hand me downs between the boys! Stay off the credit cards!

@Ad-Lo Год назад

“There’s no much thing as a part-time ‘good’ parent.” 👏🏾👏👏🏾👏👏🏾👏

@truckingwithtobee 2 года назад

Take your kids away from her. My mother was an alcoholic and my dad took me and my brother away and was a single parent the entire time I was growing up. Had I grown-up in her house I would’ve totally turned out way differently. Because I do have siblings that she had with another man after my father and all three of those siblings are very very very messed up adults.

@Ad-Lo Год назад

God bless your dad.

@jeffa964 2 года назад

Alcohol is the devil

@user-jm8zi9kb2y 3 месяца назад

Yes alcohol is evil.

@Leahmoonbeamflower 2 месяца назад

The devil’s pee to be exact 😂 why would anyone want to drink pee?

@charlesterrizzi8311 Месяц назад

It’s actually not. Socially it can be great and as in all things we must have put priorities in line. If it affects you like the woman mentioned in the video, you have serious problems outside of alcohol and obviously should avoid it. Many people use it for good.

@jeffa964 Месяц назад

@@charlesterrizzi8311 big time cope

@katemiller7874 Месяц назад

Sure is. All drugs.

@elizabethbrown7416 2 года назад

When my BIL came to this same painful decision, his lawyer advised a legal divorce, not a separation….if she does something to injury another party, like a in a DUI, any lawyer will come after him too in a law suit.

@Ryan_DeWitt 2 года назад

Get out of there and fight for full custody of your kids. That is what will be best for both you and them. Get a good lawyer and document all her alcohol abuse and anything else.

@thebunnyfoofoo 2 года назад

Rare for men to get full custody. I’ve seen meth addict strippers get partial custody

@Ebony0420 Месяц назад

My dad got full custody of my two sisters and I. My mother got hooked on drugs when they divorced. I am so grateful he did that. We had an amazing childhood. My mother was not around. Get the kids and go! They will understand later.

@byobee67 2 года назад

I lived this life and tried to protect the kids from their Dad's alcoholism for 13 years. It's a hard life to live and will suck the life out of you. We found him dead on the couch from an alcohol overdose on Thanksgiving morning 4 years ago. The trauma of living with an alcoholic and the subsequent tragedy of his death really messed us all up for a very long time. YOU can't make them stop and it's a horrible life for the kids. Sending strength to the caller!

@Matt-cr4vv 11 месяцев назад

That is awful and I’m so sorry you lived through that. It had to be incredibly difficult to make it through.

@hillarybillary21 Месяц назад

So instead of divorce you let your kids find their father dead?

@dtschuor459 Месяц назад

@@hillarybillary21Way to judge somebody in a situation with complexities you may know nothing about. Sometimes people don’t see divorce as a viable option. A little sympathy would cost you nothing…

@ferncorpuz935 Месяц назад

The movie "When a man loves a woman" starring Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia deals with the effects of alcoholism within the family. Absolutely a must watch movie for those dealing with alcoholism especially those with small children.

@oliviaacosta6239 2 года назад

Alcoholism is the hardest addiction to overcome unfortunately. I see it all the time as an ICU nurse, they keep coming back because of the DTs or bleeding or pancreatitis. A lot are young in their 20s. Some don’t make it and some go back to it. You and your children deserve a normal life. She needs to really want the help but it’s not easy. Leave with your children please

@calvinpete8226 5 месяцев назад

I had a friend have a seizure an go into cardiac arrest is that something u see alot

@futurus777 10 месяцев назад

My god brother your explaing my exact story that im dealing with right now. We are also divorcing because of this. Even the part of picking them up drunk I also deal with. CPS has gotten involved, and I am requesting sole custody. For my 2 kis well being. It's hard. But i pray to god every nite for guidance and support. Good luck to you and your children.

@marycarricaburu3683 2 года назад

The next time she hits him or drives drunk, he needs to get law enforcement involved. That will help him get full custody. Not only that but if she harms someone while she is driving drunk, and they sue, he could lose everything they own. To me, to let her drive drunk is unconscionable. I come from a long line of Alcoholics and I feel so sorry for those children caught up with a drunk mom and a dad who acts powerless. All of us need to remember that family law is all about reunification, and in California for example, will do everything they can to keep the kids seeing their mother. That is why a case needs to be built against her.

@grateful7420 2 года назад

YES It’s a real concern. When I divorced my abusive husband, then the children had alone time with the abuser 💔I couldn’t protect them. 😢 20 years later his horrible, vindictive influence, he has damaged & hurt them & destroyed my relationship with my sons. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. It’s devastating & frustrating.

@cellis5111 2 года назад

quote: "early on in the relationship she was very volatile" gee what a keeper

@cutehumor 2 года назад

She punched him the face and poured hot coffee on him while driving this dude is a simp

@labellegene7971 2 года назад

Why did he go on with the relationship? Smh

@JustActNormal 2 года назад

Quit acting like the whole world is perfect and you've never made a mistake. Real men don't leave their kids

@peterteixeira2893 2 года назад

@@JustActNormal She punched him in the face before they had kids. He knew she was batshit crazy before they had kids. He should have ran for the hills before ever having kids rather than trying to fix this hot mess.

@cellis5111 2 года назад

@@JustActNormal oh wow keep on deletin youtube ill keep postin. melissa is as screwed up as they come. damaged goods.

@9liveslisa 2 года назад

I hope he does keep the children safe. My mother was an alcoholic. My parents divorced. It destroyed my mother and she destroyed herself more by drinking more. Me and my 3 other siblings watched her drink herself to death. She wasn't a mother. She was a drunk. I lost all respect for her. I had no empathy for her. She got the flu and she died 1 year after the divorce at the age of 43. My father did not keep us safe. I asked him when I was an adult why he let us live with her. I knew one reason is because he wanted to marry someone else. He told me because he was taking everything else away from her and he couldn't take the kids away from her. He was selfish and the kids were the collateral damage. We were just SOL. After she died, we had to move back with him. His future wife didn't want the kids. They were supposed to ride off into the sunset together. It was a royal mess. I left home at 15 because my stepmother threatened to kill me and I believed (and still do) that she was quite capable of it. To all men and women who have children be a GD parent. Children deserve no less. They need to be kept safe. They need love, nurturing and stability.

@9liveslisa Год назад

@@fml5910 You are preaching to the choir

@michaelh2282 2 года назад

"She punched me in the face and would throw hot coffee while I was driving so I decided to marry her and make her the mother of my kids." Kidding aside, I feel awful for the children. Do whatever you need to protect the children, even at the expense of the wife if necessary.

@Rob-fn1kp 2 года назад

My thoughts exactly! …. All credit and sympathy to him….. but sometimes…. When the signs were clearly there…. It’s hard to feel sorry for these people.

@nautaYT 2 года назад

she should have reported him for mistreatment!!! Aren't Modern Times like this?

@d.c.d.8985 2 года назад

She’s probably really hot. Unfortunately men think with their weenies. A hot Girl can do no wrong. An ugly girl can do no right.

@d.c.d.8985 2 года назад

She’s probably really hot. Unfortunately men think with their weenies. A hot Girl can do no wrong. An ugly girl can do no right.

@Nothanks935 Год назад

Worse, the therapist never told him to get out.. If that was a guy who did it😮 There would be no forgiveness.

@stevejackson5282 Месяц назад

My daughter-in-law is an alcoholic and I don’t see it coming from trauma, it’s more the fact that she was a spoiled brat. Youngest child in the family, etc. she has/is putting my three grandchildren and my son through hell on earth. It’s been/still hell on earth.

@gizmosgadgets4146 Год назад

This sounds so much like my story. I left my wife back in June due to her alcoholism. I have primary custody of the kids. Unfortunately it was extremely ugly, during the process of planning I kept having to call the police, she was getting more violent, more ballistic everyday and more nasty. Looking back her plan was to remove me, replace me, and live off me. She was actively cheating on me as all of this took place. I had to leave, no plan, no real tangible idea as to how I would make it out of there safely. I left, took the kids, she tried to accuse me of rape in court, they saw past her and gave me primary (for now). As soon as I left, she had man after man over almost every night. It was absolutely devastating. She ended up losing the home, she had to move in with her grandmother (her supervisor for visitations) and still to this day I don’t think she’s sober. She’s claiming to do things for court, but I don’t believe she’s actually cleaning up. She still doesn’t take any accountability, and shifts the blame on me to make me out as the bad guy. It’s rough man. I LOVED that woman with every fiber of my being, and although she tried to Hoover me back in a few months ago, I could simply never get over all the sleeping around, cheating, lying she did and still does. I hope oneday I’ll find someone better, and I hope she gets better for the kids. But again, too much damage was done to retry the marriage. Alcoholism destroys families

@heaven120 6 месяцев назад

Hi...hope uve found love....have u?

@kitchensink7345 Месяц назад

I was there man, my wife didn’t cheat but she had no respect for me to come home and would be out until 3,4am and that’s when we had a 1 year old and I worked 60 hrs a week. I also would have to come home to check on my daughter as my wife was drinking in her antidepressants. She would attacked me every few months and is also a narcissist.

@paulaaquino 2 года назад

This guy should ask for custody, so the kids spend less time dealing with alcoholism...

@camcam221133 2 года назад

Maybe try to gather evidence that she's unfit so that a judge grants you full custody... Those poor babies need you

@dianecelento4974 2 года назад

Yes, he should be calling police on her the next time she's abusive in any way

@MichaelJones-rn2pq 2 года назад

"She showed real problems, but I married her and had kids with her anyway." Why?

@juliaclaire89 2 года назад

He can’t go backwards in time, so not a fair question. He was probably in denial and didn’t want this to be the reality.

@iamme7664 2 года назад

She was probably a different person when he met her and he was hoping she would change.

@isay207 Год назад

Lust

@missyfrank880 Месяц назад

Because people have no self accountability

@KatieDeGo Месяц назад

@isay207 RARELY do people get married bc of lust.

@AmericanDreamSeeker Месяц назад

The father almost NEVER gets custody...

@Teenywing Месяц назад

I’ve seen more dads getting custody lately than ever before❤

@TW-ps2cr Год назад

As my extraordinary father would lament: "Nobody hurt by alcohol wasn't first hurt by something else".

@Ad-Lo Год назад

We’ve all been hurt by something.

@jasminebaby3375 2 года назад

I’m so sorry for this man. She is alcoholic and a cheater. And she is lucky to be a stay at home mom. What is wrong with some people? Please take Dr Delony advice and go for 💯 custody. Just imaging she doing all of this while you are at home with her, just imagining you been NOT there?! Please please don’t leave your kids under her watch. I understand she has sickness or battles she is fighting, but she might end up hurting the kids or someone in an accident. Good luck

@Haz2288 2 года назад

Imagine if a woman called saying her husband was an alcoholic cheater who threw hot coffee on her. The gender bias is out of control

@ineedhoez Год назад

What bias? She's effing crazy. He should leave.

@YoYo_Ma Год назад

What bias? Everyone agrees that he should leave and take the kids.

@garrettcal1812 Год назад

SPOT ON!!!!

@jimc747 Год назад

What he's talkin about is dr. Deloney tends to be blunt and very forward about women leaving men in a bad situation but when it comes to the woman being the bad guy it's always him trying to figure out what's her trauma you know what needs to be done to help her and all this that and the other there's no blunt you need to leave that's the bias

@ILuvMyBrwnSkin Год назад

Bitter Betty

@MrsMMB Месяц назад

Former alcoholic here. I’ve been sober 4 years. I had to do a lot of work. Hypnotherapy, reiki, every self help book, gym and it’s like peeling back layers of an onion. There wasn’t just one thing that caused my drinking. It was many things that kept piling on. My parents are alcoholics and I’ve had to distance them. It’s a hard road but possible. My kids tell me stories and will randomly tell me how my drinking made them feel and although it’s embarrassing, I let them. It’s part of their healing as well as me taking accountability. Good luck!

@BernhardtManagement Месяц назад

My mother was Alcoholic. Ruined a lot of my childhood. Claims she did no wrong. Wish that my dad left her sooner.

@infinityproductions5069 Месяц назад

Nobody's life gets better when they start drinking alcohol, but everyone's life seems to get better when they stop. It's not a coincidence

@user-sp3yn3jp2q 2 года назад

This man’s testimony is so relatable smh I’m literally going through the same thing. I wish the best for you and anyone else experiencing this. I’m the enemy because I want to see her in control of the alcohol addiction.

@kaylaalicea8870 Месяц назад

He needs to take full custody! Living with an alcoholic is worse than not seeing her until shes sober.

@rebeccaoprea9917 2 года назад

Pain is a huge motivator . We usually don’t seek help until it’s bad enough but until then we tolerate it .

@Curtis3604 2 года назад

This sounds almost exactly like what I went through with my mom. She never took control of her life, she gradually became very dangerous for me and my siblings and I haven't talked to her in over 20 years. I'm 37 now and I have been able to build a happy life for myself slowly, but it's still a huge mystery what happened to her. What demons she had. Makes me wonder if she had some serious trauma as a child or something but no one seems to know. Biggest mystery of my life

@dianecelento4974 2 года назад

Yea the sad thing is something happened. Glad you have a happy life.

@YoYo_Ma Год назад

Sometimes people are just alcoholics because they are. Doesn't always have to stem from trauma. Some people are just addicts, and the addiction is stronger than all the good things in their life.

@foedeer 10 месяцев назад

Congratulations on rebuilding your life, great achievement, no doubt it wasnt easy ❤

@LDT7Y 9 месяцев назад

Not neccessarily. Some people have horrific childhoods and don’t become addicts. Other people have a normal childhood but still get addicted to drink or drugs. You can have a predisposition to addiction. If you have access to drink, that will be the thing you get addicted to. Or if you are introduced to gambling, you might get addicted to that instead. But you’ll seek out some focus for that need for dopamine hits and escapism.

@kimberlysmith7625 2 года назад

The #1 job of a parent is to protect your children. Would you rescue your child from an oncoming locomotive or toss the dice, hoping it would stop before reaching your child? Even a fourth grader could answer that question.

@justinarmas9052 2 года назад

Reminds me of my Aunt. Always drinking wine 24/7. Only reason she has her job is tenure and a union backing her

@LateNightRewrites 2 месяца назад

Gotta love unions in the modern day, one of the major reasons unqualified people stay employed who arent just not good at their jobs, but actively bad and a liability to their employer

@vaska1999 Месяц назад

@@LateNightRewrites So you're saying at least half of the people employed in unionized workplaces are incompetent? 😅

@LateNightRewrites Месяц назад

@vaska1999 now you're following me around different videos? Weird cope. And where did you see in my comment "over half"? I only mentioned unqualified people. If you'd like I can refer you some remedial reading comprehension courses 💀💀

@LateNightRewrites Месяц назад

@vaska1999 but to answer your grossly misreprentative question, I would say that would be true in the teachers unions.

@baldwinangel1218 2 года назад

My father stayed in an abusive marriage with a Borderline woman. If he left she takes out her rage towards him on us! He stayed to protect us.

@Ad-Lo Год назад

Why couldn’t he take you and leave her to her madness?

@baldwinangel1218 Год назад

@@Ad-Lo not back then. Kids went to mother. I also suspect he loved her but it was not what she expected marriage to be. Very limiting for women in 1936.

@krystalgardiner5591 Год назад

@@baldwinangel1218 even today the family courts are ridiculous. I know someone who child was being molested by her ex husband’s new girlfriends son.. court still wouldn’t give her custody.

@UnknownWarriorZz Месяц назад

How many women today would KILL to have a family and a supportive husband that makes a great living like this guy. She just pisses at away, I can’t fathom how any mother does this to her kids.

@usernameheda Месяц назад

she's clearly unwell ffs

@AnitaSoler Месяц назад

It's called alcoholism lol 😆 are you paying attention?

@UnknownWarriorZz Месяц назад

Got it, so when a guy is an alcoholic in a relationship do you extend the same compassion? Of course you don’t. You say stupid stuff like “all men are dogs!” She cheated on him and neglected her children. You’re a pathetic loser to condone everything she’s done to alcoholism. ZERO personal responsibility. Being an alcoholic does not condone cheating on your husband and neglecting your children. MANY alcoholics don’t do either of those things. ARE you paying attention?

@UnknownWarriorZz Месяц назад

@sallyspits 26 дней назад

Married an alcoholic and is now complaining that she's an alcoholic mother. What a genius.

@grantguy8933 2 года назад

Thanks to John and Dave Ramsey to offer such great help to the people. God bless this family.

@k.s.k.7721 Месяц назад

As an adult child of alcoholics who does not drink and never has; all the children raised in an alcoholic home take on the emotional and behavioral issues of alcohol abuse, whether or not they drink. There are some excellent books about alcoholic families, and how the children are all affected. Get them out now and get them into therapy asap. Good luck.

@amomandotherstuff Месяц назад

This is almost exactly my dad’s story. He got sole/full custody of my little brothers and I when we were 8, 6 and 5. My mom died when I was 30, from complications relating to alcoholism. We were safe, though, and he did awesome by us. He coached everything, did every last-minute, all-nighter science fair project, puberty talk… he didn’t date until I was in college and they’ve been happily married for 16 years. Unfortunately I divorced my ex when my son was 1, and he’s 16 now. I’ll date when he goes to college. One good parent is enough. One amazing parent can be a blessing ❤

@joshuabolyard7769 Год назад

This was so enlightening to hear. THANK YOU for putting this out there ive been dealing with this for years and I finally have the strength to do the right thing.

@ThePeoples-Opinion Месяц назад

It will be hard at first but trust me. It can be done. How are you today?

@mmp495 6 месяцев назад

I am hoping and praying dad gets custody, help, spiritually and community to protect and keep them safe and loved. ❤ 🙏

@Linnon-yl7bv Месяц назад

My dad married a volatile drunk after my mom died when I was only 11. It scarred me for years and she was violent with me on a daily either in emotional or physical abuse. My dad was naive to it and didn’t protect me or my brother. She finally left, but the damage was done. I pray this man does file for full custody. His kids deserve to be put first. Knowing your parent protects you and makes you their priority is huge and has lasting effects on children. When they don’t and allow their spouse to keep doing what they are doing, also has lasting effects.

@halloweenbarbara 2 года назад

I dealt with this with a fiancé and his kids. You can't change her at the moment. It was terrifiying to watch things unfold with him and luckily he moved the kids to the ex wife. The kids were scared later seeing him. He did crazy stuff that endangered them not realizing it. He is doing the right thing. If she figures out her demons, great. My fiancé chose not to and now dead. I realize that he was too far gone once I met him. Hopefully, she can recover at her age.

@saribrown7156 2 года назад

Why did he marry a woman who he knew to be an alcoholic, I don’t get it. Then have two kids with the alcoholic. I would never enter a relationship with an alcoholic, not because I think they are lower than myself, but because it creates a lot of drama.

@rachelgooden9981 2 года назад

I think he thought she was a good time girl that binged occasionally but it was alcoholism which is a whole other kettle of fish

@michaelh2282 2 года назад

It's likely that he has his own demons as well, and at some level felt a level of familiarity and comfort in being with someone living with her own demons. People are attracted to like people.

@starlingswallow 2 года назад

I think he was naive and didn't think she was....even with the punches and coffee throwing. 😞

@bonnied.2192 9 месяцев назад

This is what a lot of people mean when they say "we are staying for the kids." They can't win full custody without a long history of serious official reports, and they can't tell if the kids are safe if they aren't home to monitor their addicted loved one's behavior or use patterns.

@charlesterrizzi8311 Месяц назад

Generally this is one damn good reason to stay married and committed to your covenant that you made to God.

@Jessica-rf7lv Месяц назад

Once again, Dr. John is spot on!

@JPandsheshe Год назад

This guy is living my life. I’m literally going through a very similar situation. Wife has been alcoholic since I met her. Enjoyed and fell in love with her beauty, personality and all of the fun drunk nights together but she just can’t stop. Once we moved in together things seem to get worse add in our marriage and two kids and things have gotten unbearable. When she’s not drinking, great mother, wife, etc… once she drinks it’s always bingeing. Multiple bottles of wine which she would attempt to hide empty bottles around the house. I’ve reached my breaking point when she accused me of cheating left our house with our children got hammered and had them in 20 degree weather freezing no shoes on my youngest. Cops were called CpS got involved now I have custody. She is supposedly going to start program soon but based on our history I’m not sure she’ll follow through because she’s never actually completed any treatment program without relapsing or just outright not going.. if she doesn’t complete program and show significant improvement divorce and request for full custody is imminent!

@ExpatChef71 Год назад

Is she going straight to rehab or a supervised medical detox first?

@lanceallenmcginnis1105 Год назад

To love and cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer... until alcohol do us part? Till death is what we promised. Put the effort, emotions, prayers, resources into dealing with the alcoholism and the issues that lead to the alcoholism. Divorce compounds and magnifies the issues. Divorce does not create safety. Separation, boundaries, biblical truth, therapy, counseling... create safety. Divorce is not the answer! Divorce is the enemies way of practically solving marital dysfunction. It is not the eternal transcendent truth that leads to freedom. Cutting the leg off because of the broken toe is a costly unnecessary mistake. Destroying the house because the toilet needs to be replaced creates chaos. There are bad marriages and there are bad soldiers, but marriage (like warfare) is not a matter of comfort and happiness, but of honor and love. In that sense, it is better to be a bad soldier than a good deserter. It is better to be miserable in war than happy in treason.

@raspberrykissable Год назад

@@lanceallenmcginnis1105 I’m curious if you’ve been in such a situation?

@lanceallenmcginnis1105 Год назад

@@raspberrykissable Similar. My wife sleeps in another mans bed. Our children see the depravity and perversion right in front of them. It has been 8 years. If and when she repents, like our good father in heaven, I will take her back. Jeremiah 3. Hosea - the whole meaning of the book. Luke 16:18. Matthew 5:32. Mark 10:11,12. Romans 7:1-3. 1 Corinthians 7:10,11. Revelation 2:4. I am curios if these verses are applicable any more?

@BuildingMakingDoing Год назад

Sorry friend, but given my experience with addicts she will make a good show but never follow through.

@missyfrank880 Месяц назад

Very sad that people choose getting wasted over their kids and their spouse

@watervillegangmember Месяц назад

It's a disease. It's not a choice.

@dianac6250 2 года назад

I can’t understand how Moms choose alcohol or drugs over their kids. I understand it’s a disease but kids are so precious. Kids deserve to be loved and protected.

@crystalglopez91623 2 года назад

Unfortunately there are unforgivable things that happen in childhood and sadly alcohol is the escapism drug some people use to not feel the pain now in adulthood. Also, alcoholism sneaks up on you. It’s like the metaphor “how to cook a frog” in the pot slowly heat up until it’s too late and the frog is already cooked. Hope that makes sense . One beer or several beers every weekend starts a habit . It all starts as a little habit and then before you know it your body craves that beer and it’s like an itch you need to scratch.

@jessicadominguez1315 2 года назад

Every time an addict drives drunk and nothing bad happens or they are high and get through work unnoticed [or they think they were unnoticed] their habit feels more acceptable. It's fine they can drive, they can work, everything is okay.

@jeromehenry4484 2 года назад

Many fathers choose addiction over their kids, why do you feel it should be different based on gender?

@dianac6250 2 года назад

@@jeromehenry4484 okay let me edit my statement. I can’t understand how moms or DADs choose alcohol or drugs over their kids.

@kimberlysmith7625 2 года назад

The addicted individual is so deep into their disease, it skews the reality around them. Addiction to substances very quickly becomes about trying to avoid withdrawal and being sick. They know in their hearts that they are hurting themselves and the people they love. Their brains say " feed me or I will make you sick". And, so...the vicious cycle of addiction continues.

@LynnePaulocsak Месяц назад

Perfect advice for a very dangerous situation. So sad.

@TuBui2 2 года назад

Having listened to Dr. JD for a while, his response here was interesting. Here, he was calm, collected and reasonable. But one thing surprised me. If the caller was a woman, I'd think he'd have a very different reaction. Whenever a female caller talks about abuse, Dr. JD will say something like "you need to get your kids out of the house NOW! Do you have anyone you can stay with? If you're not calling the police i or my team will" in response to the caller saying they were hit and had hot coffee thrown on them. just an observation

@budgiebirdy 2 года назад

Well, men are stronger and usually more damaging when physically violent, so I can see why it's more of a concern when it's an abusive man vs an abusive woman. It's easier for a man to fight off a woman than the other way around.

@NoName-pe5sx 2 года назад

I also think the reason why Dr. JD wasn’t urging him to leave was because the caller said that he was going to leave with the kids anyway. Whereas, in some of the cases where women are abused, it may be harder for them to leave (whether emotionally/financially) and might need an added push of encouragement to help them leave the situation.

@Haz2288 2 года назад

@@budgiebirdy Strength doesn't matter when someone pours hot coffee on you. How is she not a threat?

@budgiebirdy 2 года назад

@@Haz2288 I didn't say she wasn't a threat. I said men are stronger and it's more of a concern when men are physically violent vs women. The odds are stacked against women when it comes to physical violence towards them from men. That seems like common sense.

@Haz2288 2 года назад

@@budgiebirdy it is common sense. The problems start when we take that common sense and think women are never a threat. Dr. John is doing that in this video. He has the worst wife possible and has been abused, but Dr. John is telling him to man up. This is why men are leaving the church, they get this kind of “advice”

@foedeer 10 месяцев назад

Father is a good man. Hope he will reap the rewards for playing the long game ❤

@VioletEmerald 2 месяца назад

He lets her drive drunk and endanger the public as long as it's not his kids in the car. "Turn around and drive back, you're too drunk" is scary and feels somewhat absurd. I know he loves her but i wish he'd call the cops on her if he knows she's somewhere driving drunk.

@dellamonk6792 2 года назад

Wonderful, compassionate, soild advice. Is there an update?

@GodSaveTheClothes 2 года назад

What a horribly sad situation!

@maramadawson8625 9 месяцев назад

Incredible work ❤

@tspencer661 2 года назад

This sounds similar to my experience. This man’s wife was verbally and physically abusive to him. (It is NOT normal to throw coffee in someone’s face.). This man needs to find a counselor to figure out why he ended up in a relationship like this. He needs to contact a lawyer ASAP. He needs to seek full custody with her having supervised visitation. He needs to log her behavior as best as he can. He needs to record all the times she was drunk when she was supposed to be watching the kids. This man is already acting as a single father. He needs to make it legal. (He needs to take half of his money out of the shared accounts BEFORE he leaves or kicks her out. I learned this the hard way.). Life is too short to be miserable. BTW, the kids may be young, but they’re not stupid. No parent should be intoxicated while watching anyone’s kids, especially their own kids. Oh, I’ve been waiting for four and a half years for my ex to give me a day and time for post divorce counseling. Just something to keep in mind.

@sgh45 Год назад

I supported my ex with bipolar living inpatient for a week or 2 and drove her everyday to outpatient. Let her move in while inpatient and got kicked out of friends house. I have autism to and was just diagnosed around this time. My Grandpa/best friend died during this and I started drinking every day and then covid hit lost jobs and doubled down on drinking. I always say I need a week to detox and another week to commit to being sober... 3 days in... wanna go drink or go out to the bar last minute she doesn't drink but always have to go out to the bar if not I'm boring and a introvert. Right now I'll loose it all to be sober

@sakurisake4201 2 года назад

Some people don't deserve to have kids if an alcoholic mother.

@wrathfang 11 месяцев назад

sounds like my mom. she was so wonderful when she was sober bust as soon as she would drink she would become a horrible person passed after she stopped drinking but in place became addicted to pain pills and muscle relaxers and she took the wrong combination and never woke up.

@guscipi 8 месяцев назад

I'm going through this now I should have left years ago. Just recently found out she cheated on me after 16 years of marriage. She's struggled with alcoholism her whole life her dad is still an alcoholic her whole family is. I left her for a week and she begged me to come back everyday. Since I found out about her cheating she has not had a drink in 3 weeks but don't know if I could ever trust her again. We have a 17 year old son and I always made excuses for her to make sure he wasn't aware of what was really going on. Just don't know if I should give her another chance.

@Umph84 2 года назад

As sad as this situation is, it is refreshing to see a women being the alcoholic instead of the usual “evil man/husband” scenario. He should take her to the cleaners.

@tabithagarcia7701 2 года назад

You'd be surprised how many more women are alcoholics in a relationship. However the men are taught to suck it up and not complain. It's like those situations where men are being physically abused by their wives. They simply tolerate it.

@chrysiarose 2 года назад

She doesn't have anything for him to get, wouldn't do any good. Best for him to divorce and keep the kids until she gets the help, if ever.

@maybug88 2 года назад

Refreshing? Weird thing to be refreshed by, but ok.

@nonelikememe 2 года назад

It's not good for anyone to be an alcoholic 😕

@texan903 2 года назад

Women are frequently alcoholics but society is protective of women's images, wanting to portray them as sweet, innocent, angelic, almost saintly. For this guy to call in, the situation is much worse than he's sharing here. Holding women accountable is not something that is generally done, so you know it's bad when the man is the one considering a divorce.

@Jonathan-mm5zx Месяц назад

What a nice man, he has a good heart of optimism which may have blinded him in the beginning from seeing who she truly was. Mistakes happen but unfortunately behaviour is a language and she is not acting like someone who wants to change.

@CMM726 Месяц назад

My mother is still all alcoholic at 62. She drank my entire life. It sucks to be a child stuck in the house with a drunk and unable to drive off and leave. My dad is a functioning heroin/oxy addict and I rather live with him as a child bc he just does a bunch of laundry when he’s high. When he’s sick he doesn’t bother anyone he just lays on the couch and pukes. Anyone with kids with an addict, get them away!! I have lifelong issues bc of my trauma.

@user-nw3tw1it6j Месяц назад

People say „gender bias“ things. The reason he advises women to leave an alcoholic husband and may treat men differently than women is because drunk men tend to be much more violent than women. Also, if women are violent, like the one he is talking about, men can generally defend themselves, and mostly, though not always, drunk women don’t rape their husbands, whereas it happens quite often the other way around. Violence is always bad, and everyone, regardless of gender, should leave if their partner becomes violent. But the ugly truth is that women tend to suffer more damage from it and have less power to defend themselves. Dr. John also doesn’t say that if a man has addiction problems, the partner shouldn’t find out what’s causing it, but he tries to prioritize getting women and children safe, and once that is done, then address the rest.

@om617yota8 2 года назад

Leave, and take your kids out of that situation. Coming from someone who is 30 years further down the path your kids are on right now, get your kids out of there. Your kids will thank you, even if they don't understand right now.

@annbaker2950 Месяц назад

Excellent advice. Hope he takes.

@starlingswallow 2 года назад

These kids deserve better. So much damage for them having to live with this. Please leave and encourage her to get help ♥️

@JesseJamesSCO Год назад

If she's a narcissist, she'll blame you for the rest of her life. Get out while you still have your dignity! You're still young and can start over and support her from afar. Find a good woman who will be a real mother to those poor kids. The wife you have is a cheater, drinking, abuser, and not a committed parent...enough said.

@spud1915 2 года назад

This guy says he's not worried about the kids being taken away from him. He SHOULD be worried. The court hates men. He needs a ruthless divorce attorney.

@ChardeeMacdennis339 10 месяцев назад

Wow this is so so sad. I know it’s been a year but I hope things have really turned around. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and it left me with severe trauma that took me years to work through as an adult. This woman’s problem sounds really bad and the fact that she’s driving drunk with the kids is enough for him to get FULL custody of those kids. She is a danger to them. I truly hope things are ok with this family ❤

@bigsalad3936 2 года назад

My relationship improved 10 fold when we gave up drinking. We would have drinks or beer after work. Not enough to get drunk usually, but on occasion we did. Alcohol is strictly restricted to UFC fight nights only now.

@richardjones8673 Год назад

It sounds crazy but breaking up with my aggressive alcoholic partner was the hardest thing. I loved her and knew she was a good person when sober. It was only when dad died and I reflected on my life that I ended it.

@gopherbar 2 года назад

My wife hides drink and then lies to me, her daughters, her family. She drinks and tells me if I don’t like it I can leave…I’m so fed up I want to leave as she’s been physically and mentally abusive but not often.

@boston312 Год назад

This show always makes me feel better about being single!!!

@Ad-Lo Год назад

😂