Narcissism Manifestion in Borderline Personality Disorder 

One difference I noticed wich distinguished between borderline and vulnerable very clearly was the fact, that the borderline has many clear moments in wich they see what is going wrong, or that they are wrong somehow. The vulnerable narcissist is NEVER wrong, always just the others or the circumstances.

There's so much overlap between so many of these conditions.

Doc, I appreciate your explanations of things I've been dealing with all my life. I'm 54 and just now learning about my mind. It's hindered me all my life. You are definitely helping put things in perspective. I'm also seeking help. Gonna try to enjoy what's left. Thanks✌️

I have been diagnosed with BPD and feel a lot of the vulnerable traits relate to me . They relate most when I'm upset about something and a loved one won't validate me. I am aware of some of my triggers and don't want to blame them on the person, I'm desperately trying to change myself, but I feel they aren't trying to understand me and continuously trigger me. It makes me feel like they don't care if they hurt me , even if my triggers are my own fault . I don't want to make others feel bad. I don't want to be an evil person. I want to be able to help myself when these traits come out. I feel like nobody knows how to communicate and I have no control over my emotions and the things I do. :(

I had a parent who was a narcissist and a low functioning sociopath; he (1927-2017) was never diagnosed or treated. If he wasn't the center of attention he was simply not interested. If he told you something in "confidence" about a certain individual you would be certain that whatever he told you was a lie. Growing up he was physically abusive to all of his children; I have faint echoes of memories of him being physically abusive to mom (I would not want to testify in a court of law if he actually caused physical harm to mom my memory is just not strong enough for that.). After mom died in 2002 he slowly alienated all of his of children - he seemed to be most happy when he tried to set his children against each other of course growing up with this we could all see it as it was and never fell for it. The last 5 years of his life he spent alone in a hospital. As the oldest how messed up is this? When any of my younger siblings got scared because of a nightmare they had or because of monsters under the bed instead of crawling into bed with their parents, they would crawl into bed with me; I can't remember all the times that I woke up to find one or even two of my brothers in my bed. My brothers were all good hockey players so much so that during the 1970's and early 1980's they all had been actively scouted by a number of NHL scouts for the Blues, Bruins and the Maple Leaf's. You would have expected that a normal parent would have been proud of that - but of course not from the one we had. Or when one of my brothers got really sick with Crones disease and lost all of his large intestine and several feet of his small intestine and as a result he lost considerable weight and we were not certain if he was going to survive. When after almost a month in the hospital he was finally released mom wanted to stay home and look after one of her children and imagine being told by your husband that I need you to continue to work for me doing the books (mom never got paid) instead of staying home to look after one of their children. Fortunately our aunt Peggy was able to step in and we sent James to another province for 6 months to recover. When I got a BSc in Clinical Psychology with a minor in Biochemistry, BSc & Masters in Computer Science and PhD in Computer Science & Engineering most parents would have been proud of their daughters achievement - mom was so very proud of me; from him no reaction at all. To be honest by that time in my life I never really expected one but .... I made the conscience effort not refer to him as dad, father or any term of affection simply because he never earned it.

Insightful videos. Having a Mother with what I believe to having Borderline Personality and understanding how that has affected me with relation to substance abuse and perhaps creating a covertbpd/vulnerable narcisim in my self has allowed me yo accept and try and change. It's hard though when nobody in your family wants to believe the trauma we have all at some point inflicted on eachother. Best thing is to change your life and find your own family .

BPD mom, sister, niece. I’m the “ horrible one”, or “ looked up to one”. Push/ pull. Loved and hated/ smeared to all. 😓

I'm diagnosed with Npd (covert) and Bpd. But I'm aware of my personality,I don't want to hurt people so I distance myself from society. Great video btw.

The vulnerable narcissist. I never knew it had a name. I always referred to these individuals as having a "martyr" complex. They are so tiresome to be around because "oh poor me look how I am afflicted by these horrible people that are more horrible than I."

I feel like the core of BPD, fear of abandonment, should be looked for and paid attention to when trying to distinguish it from vulnerable narcissism.

Dr Grande your videos are very concise without compromising accuracy, very interesting. For most lay people I'd say the difference may be best identified with the individual's empathy levels and how hard they work at becoming well and not hurting those around them. Genuine efforts can be hard to identify as they can be superficially mimicked. BPD alone may go to great lengths at their own personal detriment to avoid causing distress in others. When narcissism is co-morbid I suspect they view themselves as the only one who's suffering matters.

Thank you for the unbiased info, I find psychology very interesting. Our brains are weird.

I already sensed that the overlap between BPD and vulnerable narcissism was mostly gender-based, especially as I've met more women with BPD who have empathy/display remorse when having episodes while some men diagnosed with BPD whom I meet tend to display more internal shame regarding their self-worth as men rather than their episodes affecting others. I've also seen men shift between extremes of shame and depression and grandiose sense of self-importance. With women, this isn't always the case, it's more of splitting on other people.

If i'm not mistaken Vulnerable narcissists dont chase after relationships like bpd do . That's one big differentiator.

This video explains the narcissism I have seen in my sister with BPD. I see the narcissism as having had a protective function. It has probably kept her from the self harm seen with BPD. She constantly threatens but I think that narcissism clicks in. Along with ticking all the boxes for BPD she has that entitlement and envy seen with narcissism. And if you dont enable her or rescue her you are a bad person. She is pretty high functioning but the death of our mother seemed to cause decompensation. Our mother was the only person she had not alienated in our family. You know how faithful moms can be. As mature adults some of us have tried to pull her back into the fold. It almost seems she has to punish us by rejecting us. She doesn't know when she refuses our overtures we breath a sigh of relief. It would feel like more of a punishment if she became a part of our lives.

I always thought Borderline is created by NPD parents, or those closest. Not JUST this way, but I believe I had enough symptoms to be diagnosed borderline UNTIL I was able to remove myself from the toxic NPD people.

I've was feeling like my ex with bpd was displaying narcissistic traits, and this vulnerable narcissism appears to match up with that. I would like to learn more about it. Thank you!

i do believe some individuals with bpd may have developed traits of npd somewhere along the line in order to cope with rejection distress and triggers of abandonment. its not hard to understand why when you think about how most people use self comparison and devaluation of others in order to cope with rejection + attachment trauma. the first thing a lot of people do after a breakup is talk shit about their ex significant other in order to make themselves feel better, saying it was "their loss, not mine"

I appreciate the insight, Dr Grande! In my experience, the overlap between BPD and vulnerable NPD seems to go hand-in-hand. I’m no expert, but it’s my understanding that a grandiose NPD is not so emotionally volatile, “narc rage” is not as much of an issue and that they don’t expose their emotions to others with that kind of unstable meltdown. The vulnerable NPD seems so, incredibly unstable and threatened that the symptoms seem to much more strongly correlate to BPD. The insecure, unstable self is so fragile in them, as though they’re built on sand and the grandiose individual, on rock.

THANK YOU. Finally it’s making sense how this all links together!

So many stories of such difficult times in the comments. I just want to wish everyone Peace of Mind. I have found more peace now I understand why my parents behaved as they did. It is definitely worth putting some time into developing understanding.

I think I'm BPD/Vulnerable. I check off all the criteria, but I try not to let it affect other people. And that makes me withdrawn, which leads to some suicidal ideation. I just have like deeply rooted abandonment issues that fuck with me when I get stressed out.

Thanks, that was one of the more helpful videos I seen in awhile.

This is excellent; well organized, clear, user-student friendly. I really appreciate your videos. We need them to understand ourselves and the world around us. I am totally against the stigmatization of mind self-care. Human beings are like a coin: on one side is physical care, on the other side is mind and spiritual care. For whatever reason, we have been shame-taught not to honor our mind care needs. This only leaves room for confusion and prolonged lack of total being health. Your videos are so good for those of us not content to live in the fog of confusion. Thank you for makine the time to share this knowledge with us.

Yep, I am all about the self-validation now!

Wow, those associated characteristics :/ Concealing faults (due to shame) = the single greatest problem with my past relationship! #mindblown

i’ve been watching hundreds of clinical psychologists covering bpd and i have to say dr. Grande’s is by far the most comprehensive and he breaks it down so well for a layman like myself, please continue spreading the knowledge and awareness of this disorder!

Thank you, Dr. Grande. You're slowly helping me understand myself. I know I'm borderline but I just dont understand myself even tho I'm aware of some behaviours. Thank you.

Nice work,it takes a special person to be a mental health pro.its a challenge just dealing with one person with some of these disorders let alone a constant stream.

I. Relieve this to be exactly the diagnosis of a loved one , at first I thought she was straight NPD, but a therapist pointed the factors of BPD with Narcissistic Traits , I see how this can be missed because both conditions can mirror each other !

Another outstanding video to recommend to my clients (and colleagues). Thank you, Dr Grande!

Thank you!! I wanted to rule out BPD for myself despite thinking I was unstable deep down, although I guess I am really it's masked by that nonchalantness. Vulnerable narcissism is a perfect fit not only from the test online, but also your description of it. Don't relate to overt npd, but still requite attention and have a bit of 'compensatory vanity' if you can call it that, although my issues are more in line with what you described. Basically no genuine self-worth at all so you 'compensate' for that with other things, makes sense after all the years of wondering why I'm so vulnerable, defensive, shame-ridden etc. I think vulnerables are like 'mild' bpd+avpd on an unconscious level. I also don't relate to overt NPD in the sense that I don't really devalue others because of what they have or haven't done, and only do that in a temporary response to a slight or insult in some way, but don't really show it outwards.

Dr Grande, your channel is jam packed full of learning goodness 😃 Your dedication + efforts are so very appreciated!!

Greetings from Germany Wow ! Helping me understand my behavior patterns so much better. Helping me so much easier to step aside and choose alternative adequate behaviors. Smooting the over identification with my personality constructions.

Excellent explanation on BPD and Narcissism!👌🏼 Thank you Dr. Grande!❤️

these are great vids. thanks for helping me understand myself better. I am definitely the trail of destruction type BPD, and finally met a provider who had me try Lamotrigine and it has dramatically improved my life. I am now trying to grapple with what I now understand to be vulnerable narcissism- a trait I can see obviously in my mother as well. I guess apples don't fall far from trees.

Thank you for your valuable content. Helpful for people on both sides of this disorder.

Very informative and concise. I feel this has been the case with two of my ex boyfriends. Covertly manipulative, self-centered, inability to apologize, deflecting responsibility onto me, and a new one, a real kicker, intermittent reinforcement.

Thank you for explaining this - my mother is a borderline and a vulnerable.

The more I learn about vulnerable narcissism, the more I think "that's me!". I used to suspect having BPD but man... Now idk I'm just lost. I wish some psychiatrist just told me "that's what you have and that's what we're gonna do about it!" cause improving on your own is like, "where do I start?".

I find your videos tremendously informative and helpful. Thank you for sharing!

Thankyou for sharing Dr Grande. Very interesting & informative. There seems to be a lot to learn.

Thank you so much for this explanation! I've had a lot of therapist tell me that narcissism goes under borderline (which my mother had) but never really explained it very well.

I’m so glad I listened to this. It was reassuring to hear that co-morbidity can exist. I have an ex who was diagnosed with NPD, but his relentless onslaught for 5 years after I rejected him seemed borderline. So I was very confused with what was happening and what I was dealing with. Because most things you read about NPD, they just do the character assassination, manipulate others to harass, project, sometimes do some legal abuse and vexatious litigation and discard people, they don’t seem to relentlessly stalk, harass, abuse, vandalise, break in, play the victim, threaten suicide etc too, which is what I was experiencing... the most severe behaviours of both personality disorders rolled into one. After hearing this my experience makes more sense. Thank you 🙏

There was so much information in this video that I had to watch it twice!

Great explanation. Having BPD tendencies, i engaged in CBT for my anxiety and dysthymia. I kept telling my therapist that i see narcisistic traits in myself and that was spot on, but he was telling me that a narcissist wouldnt go into therapy or even admit that he has those tendencies being self aware of them. Reading about it i identified mostly with the vulnerable part of it. Dont know what my therapist's goal was by not seeing what i was seeing, or maybe i was hiding it unconsciously in relationship with him, and only spoke of it in relationship with others. Dont know. Doing therapy i think made those tendencies go "lower" but they still appear during very hard moments. This is a good video, explains much about what i discovered in myself. thank you so much

Your content has helped me realize my passion for psychology. Thank you Dr. Todd Grande.

I dealt with someone for 20 years and it took me a long time to fully open my eyes and understand what I was dealing with. He had many NPD traits but also overlapping with BPD. This is the video I was looking for.

Ok I figured out why I love your videos so much 💕 It's because when I'm in counseling, personal or marriage I feel like the counselor can't help but be biased. Their opinion is already a reflection of our situation (I think that's the point lol) But I really love this completely unbiased analysis, not influenced by any personal information. Thanks

Covert NPD + Borderline = Ex husband of 4 years. Scared and confused because of his behavior. Thank you! 💜💚💛

If someone has had emotional dysregulation and attachment issues (causing the traits of borderline personality disorder), it seems to me that over the years/decades - after many arguments and repeated rejections by other people - they would naturally feel inadequate and become more withdrawn to avoid further conflict. It also seems understandable that due to all the rejection by others and arguments with others year after year they would grow more and more self-critical, shame-filled, and low in self-esteem. It also makes sense to me they would be even more emotionally sensitive because when one has been rejected and attacked so many times for being too emotional and clingy, it becomes a reasonable expectation that this is what human beings do - they attack and criticize you. The conclusion, based on repeated evidence, is that probably one is being criticized/attacked yet again anytime one is spoken to about behavior or affect. Does this, therefore, characterize a comorbid disorder or a natural response set and group of beliefs which makes perfect sense based on everything they have seen and experienced? Labels can describe a list of behaviors, but I wish those in the field would more often discuss this in human terms. People are more able to change when they feel understood. And others are more understanding when we see why they are the way they are. When we read each other in human terms rather than slap others with labels.

Thank you for explaining this so well! I believe I'm beginning to understand finally.

Wow! This answers so many questions. I used to think that my ex`s BPD was either probably misdiagnosed, or that it was a made up lie in order for her to get her way with me. Considering how many characteristics of both BPD and NPD she seemed to have i was very confused. I was looking for data to support and explain the co-occurence of BPD and NPD, and this video answered most of my questions. Also, the concept of pathological narcissism adds more depth and probably raises even more questions about the whole subject! Thank you!

Thank you so much for this video, along side with all of your other videos, Dr Grande. Learning more about borderline and vulnerable narcissism has really helped me understand more about a relationship I was in several years ago, that traumatizes me even to this day with pretty major commitment issues as a consequence. I'll not ramble on for too long but the guy in question was 5 years older than me, thus 25 at the time, and I still always figured he was emotionally immature. Now, I'm starting to wonder if he was suffering from borderline and/or vulnerable narcissism (or traits thereof). Basically, it was always DRAMA. If there wasn't an argument, one would almost had to be invented. It was as if our relationships needed drama to be alive? The arguments were usually nonsensical and seemed silly, even at the time. He could get upset over the slightest little thing (criticism in particular). There was something very passively agressively over his style because he would either just not answer me or he would have this sulky tone. Once when I joked or "teased" him at the start of our relationship (like women sometimes do, often pertaining to sex) he started to cry unrelentlessly and told me I was mocking him. Once, he broke up with me and then called me after four-five days and threatened me that he would slash his throat if I didn't take him back. (That's not the only time he threatened with suicide, once he called me from a bridge.) He told me that he loved me almost instantly (which was creepy as hell but I was young and didn't have the guts to back off). Some things that he did and said I cannot write here. They are just too painful and hurtful. But it included some violence and abuse (psychologically most of the time but not exclusively). Aside from his EXTREME sensitivity (intense emotions), impulsivity and need for drama, what might stand out the most was his extreme idealization of me. I was just soooo perfect, so beautiful and lovely in every single way. I know Dr Grande spoke about this in another video, about how vulnerable narcissists nestle themselves into your life through intense admiration and flattery. I think what was really interesting about this particular person is that he would even say that he needed me, that he couldn't survive without me, and thus forcing me into a caretaking role where I could only live through him and my whole purpose in life was to please him and make him happy. As soon as that relationship was over, I could finally feel free. Like a bird that had been let out of her cage. Unfortunately, it's a bird that is now scarred and scared. But viewing these videos does help me grasp not only WHAT actually happened but also WHY and HOW, thereby aiding my healing process. I now know what - and who - to avoid. For that, I am ever grateful to you, Dr Grande!

Thank you so much for this! I've even asked for this in the comments of your newer videos. I have BPD and see soooo much of myself in covert narcissism. However, I'm never "evil", or porpusefully hurting people. Other than that, I see basically all of the symtoms in myself. Been wanting to know more about the corrolation between the two. Thank you dr!

Your knowledge and expertise along with your amazing presentation of personality disorders is incredibly helpful to many. I was wondering if you would make more of these videos in the future? Your pop culture case study analysis videos are excellent as well but not nearly as educational and helpful as these direct psychological exploration videos. We need some more Dr. Grande clinical videos!

Hi, Dr. Grande! Thanks for discussing this interesting topic. Your channel is quite deservedly gathering more and more audience, and it has been gratifying to see you as an expert guest on other channels. Considering the bewildering multitude of phenotypes of narcissistic and-to some extent-of borderline personality, I wonder if it is actually counterproductive to subdivide them into so many pigeon-holes. It seems more plausible that most people with such characters kind of "drift" around those phenotypes, e.g., residing for a while closer to a vulnerable narcissist type after a perceived slight, only to recompose themselves as a grandiose narcissist after receiving an external signal of their specialness. Perhaps what matters from the clinical perspective (i.e. in terms of how you would structure therapeutic approach) is how "thick-skinned", vs. how emotionally labile, a Cluster B type person is. And another relevant factor would be the self- and other-destructiveness. My main point is that there seems to be unnecessarily many theoretical sub-types of narcissists and borderlines, and such a detailed classification seems to obscure how time- and circumstance-dependent the actual presentation of such personalities can be.

I didn't like some of your videos discussing public people and got a bad impression on dr grande but this videos about vulnerable narcissism are spot on! Very insightful and helpful. It shines some light on this twisted thing that didn't seem to fit well in npd or bpd either. Thank you dr grande. Can you please give us some resourses to read to find out more?

This was one of your most clear videos. Thanks.

That´s the one I wanted! lol Thank you, Dr. Grande. You are brilliant!!

This is a great video! Thank you for explaining that Narcissicm can move back and forth from Grandiose to Vulnerable and the crossover with BPD. My recent ex is both, and very disturbing to even communicate with! Taking him out of my life and detaching completely is my answer from your videos! It is too frightening for me and my family!! The pathological symptoms being acted out of revenge, threats, warnings, low self esteem are too disturbing! Thank you Dr Grande for supporting your online community of followers and be such a highly educated professional! You break everything down for us scientifically and medically applying to real world examples!!

Welp today im binge watching Dr G's videos. So helpful! Thanks Dr G.

As someone who was told I probably have EUPD I’ve been doing lots of reading to try and understand myself and my reactions better. After reading, I do also recognise alot of The behaviour and tought patterns in covert narcissism. I must say, I have never wanted to conflict pain on others. I do my best to not hurt anyone. I often feel like I’m trapped, like there is this strong forces in me that I have no control over. I dont want to be like this, yet, I feel like this is all I am. Been in therapy on and off since 7-8 years old. Started my current therapy in december 2021, and all I want is to get to a more healthy stable place mentally.

I'm 27 male (sister took over my youtube) lol. I'd just like say I've been watching these videos for just over a month now and i am alot smarter and have alot more insight thank you so much for helping me and everyone else 🙏😊

You illuminated the behaviours of my former spouse that hadn't been explained by her diagnosis of BPD alone which has helped, years later now, see I wasn't imaging things. Thank you for that freeing.

Thank you very much, Dr. Grande! This was very enlightening.

Such great content. Thanks so much Dr.G.

I worked with a borderline personality disorder woman. She drove us all nuts with her delusions of persecution and her inability to follow instruction well or take constructive criticism. Every day she threw a pity party for herself. She didn't last long on the job. She got fired after 4 months.

Thank you! My ex was diagnosed with BPD in her late teens. Having lived with her during isolation I realized she has many covert NPD traits. The only thing she was missing was the anger. When I talked about it with her she said "I can't be because I don't have uncontrollable anger"

Very interesting that someone presenting as a grandiose narcissist might at other times present as a vulnerable narcissist, given that a vulnerable narcissist mat move back and forth between the two. This matches what I’ve seen.

It's really interesting to hear you talk about this model. I think something that could help an anecdotal, unqualified idea as to whether a person's narcissism swings more toward NPD or BPD is, does their behaviour give-off the delusion of 'you need me' or does it yell 'I need you'.

Great video! I always suspected my mother to be a vulnerable narcissist, but after watching this video, I’m wondering whether she is borderline with pathological vulnerable narcissism. I will never know for sure as she would NEVER agree to counseling. I guess it doesn’t really matter at this point, as I have gone low-contact with consistent boundaries put in place to minimize the damage she is capable of. Thank you, Dr. Grande 😊

Very helpful & makes sense. Thank you Dr. G.

Question for Dr.Grande.." Do u think it's ok for ppl to diagnose others after learning about disorders from watching your show?" Because the trend now is calling people NPD, it's all over RU-vid, television, magazines etc. And of course, everyone who's divorced, or had a bad break up, or had problems with parents, their boss, their ex friend etc. I'm starting to roll my eyes back, because it's used ad nauseam !! It seems that if anyone that a person doesn't get along with is labelled as NPD. Personally I know a person (NO, not me) who was diagnosed with this, but if every second person is labelled with it, then what would be a reason for him to seek treatment? I find it baffling how over used this condition is....and I remember back in the 90's, everyone was using the term sociopath, to describe anyone they did not like, as well. What do you think Dr Grande? PS..I just went through the comments, and sure enough, people are diagnosing ppl they don't get along with, It actually feels raunchy when I read that....the person doesn't know that they are being discussed in this comment section. How ethical is that??

You know, I never leave RU-vid comments but I have to say you really are methodical and knowledgeable in your field, especially in regards to Narcissism and BPD. And thank you for including Mother/Daughter video’s on these topics. I’m in therapy because of my mother’s severe narcissism and BPD but in the meantime, listening to you helps me understand the confusion/pain I have been living under for 30 years. Thanks, Dr.Grande.

Great video, Dr Grande - many thanks. My father seems, to me, to drift between grandiose and (less often) vulnerable (usu. when 'confronted' with objective facts he has 're-characterised' in (only) his own mind. Thank you for your insight and understanding - it certainly helps those (like me) on the receiving end of such issues/behaviour., to not be so affected by my father's illness. Thank you again. Liked and shared. Kind regards ~ K

It was very interesting, and I appreciate the video! Thank you!

Excellent. Absolutely excellent video.

thank you for stateing what you did at the end ...... i have had a lot of docs miss assess my symtopms as vulnerable narssasisum mainly cuz of how study made male borderlines more closely related to the vulnerable narssasisum so much so that i think docs can forget that a male bordeleine with major depressive disorder and petulant borderline actions can look like vulnerable narssaiaum expecully with added avodence issues they can come off as manipulation rather then protection ..... taken me years to get a better understanding of what was going on and the shame i got a treatment i got when therapist decided to belive i was a narsasit without even doing any testing ..... my current theprist actually did a narssasiic spectrum test and though i laned 3 in 3 of the 4 catagorys i only landed 1 in the 4th one and form the perspective i don't land on the narssasitic spectrum cuz you have to have 3 or more in all 4 catagorys to be on the spectrum and that wamed my heart as this allowed my borderline avodent issues to alow me to keep in therapy as we know avodents will avoid rejection and that's my normal go to unless I'm overly attached to someone then my desprate need to protect myself form abandonment mixed with the rejection makes me rage hard and try to down my needs to make sure the other person feels loved enough ..... its crazy how much all of these can become so mixed when you look at them impericaly and really this video makes me realize why someny docs were so admit i was a vulnerable narssait at my worse ....... so much so i almost started to belive i was a narssasitic borderline ..... docs deff need to be careful and be dilagent and not bias in there opinions of narssasisum and males

Wonderful! This describes my Father very well. He seems to have vulnerable narcissism and I thought he was a bit borderline at times. :/

I’m confused on the vulnerable narcissist. From the criteria it seems like they think they’re not good enough, so how is that narcissism? They just sound Borderline to me.

I have to say this narcissism and covert narcissism is extremely new to me. But he's the best one I've heard by fire on any of this

Vulnerable narcissism seems to be more in line with dysthymic disorder and mild cluster B traits. I think people are trying to define characteristics that just can't be put into a specific Dx. Clinical settings are a mixture of traits and behaviors, thus it's not practical to label people with these random personality "disorders". Narcissism is found in many cultures, mental illnesses, and social circles. It's not always an aberrant predatory trait.

(from Lise Hull) Wow, very interesting! Looks like I probably have vulnerable narcissism combined with borderline traits. I am seeing my doc today and will mention this. I am not sure if he's even taken this into consideration. Thank you!

Thanks so much for this video. I have witnessed this personally and it’s a real mess. 👍🤷🏽‍♂️

I knew a covert narcissistic person who would be rude to people. And thought everyone was arrogant. Because they felt people were not nice to them. And never treated the person with the respect the person wanted. But once that person realized. That people are too interested in themselves. It helped the person see it's not all about them. The person had to realise you keep it polite with you are not friends with. And mind your own business. And dont overshare or try and be the centre of attention. Politeness and gratitude would help people be more respectful and sympathetic and humble. To avoid having narcissistic tendencies. It all comes back to respect . You respect people's feelings. Even narcissistic people get criticised for being rude.

Please i love when you say "hello this is Doctor Grande"😭💗

Dr Grande, Would you consider doing a video explaining CPTSD? Also what are you’re thoughts on Somatic Processing of Emotions as therapy?

This makes so much sense!! The covert narcissim and bpd perfectly describe my ex

Hey Doctor Grande, any chance you can make audio louder for future videos? Sometimes I listen to you at the gym, so maybe the issue is on my end. Great video (as usual)

O mg this is what I've been looking for! I'm convinced SO is VN but I'm a bit confused with BPD he shows some signs, but the overlap makes sense! And yes the up and downs between grandiose and vulnerable. I absolutely believe N is protective. Watching it so close it's like a faulty defense mechanism.

This explains so much.

Hi Dr. Grande, my daughter has been diagnosed with Emerging Borderline Personality Disorder. I also recognise a lot of the vulnerable narcissistic traits in her. I don’t think you have done any videos on children with EBPD. I struggle with her behaviour. I Have no history of mental illness myself but I beat myself up a lot for her mental illness. I can’t put it down to one specific thing maybe a few different things but she had problems first year of life. Thank you for your videos I find them very helpful when trying to understand my daughter.

Thank you Dr. Grande. Helpful.

I exhibit traits of both grandiose narcissism and bpd (I'm a woman in my early 20s), but I don't fully meet the criteria for either disorder, which kind of sucks, because without a concise diagnosis you can't do any research on your own or read other people's experiences with their mental illness.

Thank you for this clear explanations. Now I realise that have suffered a relation over one year with a person with all BDP traits except suicidal but a great NPD, very manipulative and aggressive. It was impossible to help them and convince to take any therapy and blaming other for his problems.

I believe my ex-wife was BPD with vulnerable narcissistic traits. Her mother abandoned her when she was only one year old by leaving her to be raised with her christian scientist grandmother. Her father was homosexual or I guess bi-sexual but preferred males, and he was also schizophrenic and spent episodes in a mental institution. She only found out her grandmother was not her mother when she was about 7 years old after kids at school were taunting her that she didn't have a mother, and she found out her father was gay when she about 15 years old. On top of that, the mother that abandoned her went to America and had a string of marriages with wealthy men, but she was also had a volatile personality. My ex was psychologically, emotionally and physically abusive to me. After tolerating her abuse for 10 years, I tried to leave her many times, but she'd always cry and beg me to stay, and I'd cave in. It was the typical abused returning to the abuser cycle. Eventually she had an extramarital affair with a younger man and then she commandeered our house by using the law because she had custody of our children. I lost almost everything because of this horrible callous woman, and to this day I still suffer from depression, even though it was over 20 years ago.

The Steve Jobs of mental health :).

I hate that other people are using this to diagnose OTHER people.

Interesting! Hadn't looked at it this way before. Honestly, after watching a whole bunch of videos about a few different diagnoses and their comorbid features, it is getting to the point where I think the DSM is a bunch of nonsense! There seem to be very few people who truly fit into a particular diagnosis, and everyone else could be diagnosed with at least 5 different things. I have heard of a "Waif Borderline" and wonder how to differentiate that from a vulnerable narcissist? It is all getting a bit muddy in my brain, now! As for the angry outbursts and other features related to ego disturbance, this overlaps due to the narcissistic wounding which seems present in so many diagnoses! Seems the more I learn and the longer I'm a clinician, the more confusing it gets, not less. Honestly, I think there is a certain "feel" that each diagnosis has, and one gets used to that and can read the clients and see it clearly, but to actually take a checklist with these feature and base the diagnosis on those, it seems nearly impossible.