Narcissistic Abuse | The Signs 

Have you had a relationship with a narcissist? Whether it's with a spouse, friend, mother, father, sibling, boss, or even a coworker, spotting the signs of narcissistic abuse will help you improve all areas of your life. Access full, exclusive mental health series featuring Dr. Ramani HERE: medcr.cl/kco

When you’re hurt by something they said or did but you end up apologizing to them 😑

It’s never safe to love a narcissist. There is no emotional security. Their verbal abuse is detrimental to your mental and physical health.

They don't take accountability for their negative actions against you.. they just shut you down, and could care less about your feelings. They lack empathy.

The worst thing, after wasting years of your life is when you realised you did not even exist and feel hollowed out, because when you have a relationship with someone with no empathy, it can starve you to death .

You're going to drive yourself crazy wondering why this person who says they love you would treat you so badly. The answer is that they simply didn't love you. It's deception. They say they loved you only to get what they wanted.

1. Difficulty in making simple decisions 2. Feelings of helplessness 3. Social withdrawal 4. Anxiety specific to the relationship 5. Chronic sense of second guessing & paralysis

Communication=starting a fight because I’m always wrong

When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Additionally, My ex narc managed to never get caught! However , he was “ hiding “ in plain sight! You notice the strange behaviors ( tilting phone screen so you can't see what they're texting , needing privacy for all calls and hanging up quick if you walk near them , telling insignificant lies when there's no need to , etc ) and you just feel a bad vibe! They have all sorts of tricks because they've been doing this stuff for so long! I later found out he was cheating on me with his ( 5th ) ex wife and another girl who worked at a nearby restaurant! through this forensic expert *Metaspyhub@gmail. com* ...

The narcissist takes away a person’s ability to trust their instincts because of the constant lying and gaslighting involved.

1) self doubt - Daily choices . Can’t trust judgement 2) helplessness- nothing works 3) hopeless , depression, irritability 4) social withdrawal - judged, embarrassed, ashamed, afraid to share 5) anxiety , eating, sleeping, overall sense of worry 6) chronic second guessing, paralysed

Mother. Husband. Friend. Ended all those relationships. I've learned not to be so empathetic. I've learned to like living alone. It's a lot safer.

There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........

It took me 17 years to figure out I was married to a narcissist. This stuff should be mandatory teaching in all high schools. I'm embarrassed to admit at 66 years old, I had no idea what I was dealing with.

My mom was a narcissist and she gaslighted me so much that when i was in a bipolar mixed episode, I felt I was going actually crazy that I thought I had to kill myself to escape and the psychosis I had just added to the fire. When I was about to hang myself she caught me and she was immediately loving and non manipulative, but when I got stable, she would start again. It was hell. I was losing my mind, but I decided to trust myself and I moved to another country. Best decision of my life.

I had a narcissistic "best friend" for 3 years. Haven't spoken to him in 9 months and life has become calm and beautiful again

after 46 years of marriage with a husband that is a Narcissist, I am divorcing him and getting free, with Jesus on my side

Something I've noticed is that it carries on to other relationships, especially if you grew up with it. You have no gage for how you should be treated and are thankful that anyone is willing to spend their time on you.

I had a narcissist dad and recently ended a narcissistic relationship when I realized I was in the same cycle that I was in with my dad growing up and what my mom went through with him. I feel so free now

1. Walking on eggshells.

The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. What ever you do, don’t attempt to tail your spouse in the hopes of catching him or her cheating. Get a professional to do it for you Metaspyhub@gmail. com Ethical remote App - particularly if you need this evidence to file for divorce and damages.

That’s why I always act strong because I know people can tell I’ve been through abuse and other narcissists have been attracted to my weakness. People don’t know how much of a warrior you have to be to survive this stuff.

social withdrawal is also because no one understands or if they know the narc themselves, just doesn't see them as anything other than a lovely person

I'm a 58-year-old male and in the last year I've come to learn that I was raised by a narcissistic mother. Interestingly, I started a medication for epilepsy a year ago and that really opened to door to understanding what was going on. It's been an amazing year. Thanks to all the doctors and therapists trying to help folks with these situations!

I have been married 47 years to a narcissist that has been abusive to me and our sons. I am ending the relationship this year. I am in legal counsel. Thanks for your help

I was married to a narcissist for 3 years, together for 5. I have never been treated so badly by anyone ever... yet I thought it was all my fault. It destroys your sense of self. You become a shell of a person. Hoping that anyone suffering with this can find a way out.

My mother was a narcissist. I didn’t have a name for it until I went to a therapist in my 50’s.

I can really relate to the struggle against the confusing mind games of a narcissist. It's like walking through a maze where the walls keep shifting. Your story resonates deeply because, like you, I felt so isolated, doubting my own reality, as if my confidence was slipping through my fingers.

My ex boyfriend was a narcissist. Still makes my heart race with anxiety thinking back to the stress the relationship gave me during, and after it ended.

He convinced my family, and myself, that I’m crazy... I’m not crazy...

I want to be the woman I was before I meet him. I don’t even recognize who I am anymore.

He asks a wonderful question that I’ve had to ask multiple times. “Why would they do that to someone they love?”

I felt like I had PTSD from my relationship. I was also ashamed to tell the truth about what I was being put through.

The narcissist makes it difficult for the significant other to even think.

I couldn't even place my feelings. I felt it was me. I even apologized. Hearing this makes me feel I'm not crazy after all, I have actually been abused!

My childhood was surrounded by narcissism on my dad's side. Dad, cousins, uncles, aunts, and even Grandma. Gaslighting, triangulation, and I'm just now understanding it all.

As others, I have discovered that the narcissist makes me behave in a way that is not “me”. That multiplies the issue, and the next thing you know you have been sucked into the narc’s vortex where you can’t tell who started it. It’s actually ingenious in a very sick way, really. That makes it easier for the narc to point the finger at you as the causer of all problems.

I cut the narcissist off a year ago July 2019. Today on my blocked messages there was his this morning! I have never returned his calls. Today, he sounded so sweet. “I have a million things to tell you!” All I have to do is remember his horrific treatment to me a year ago and I push Delete!

3 years and was engaged to her. She left me for my best friend. Best gift god could ever give me. Don’t let them back in

Yes, my mom is a covert narcissist and would twist my words, gas light, make me self doubt and play victim cards. She also told me that she has little to no empathy for others feelings, that was a warning sign that rang in my mind and heart. She loves to control people and she loves codependency. I have watched her use my siblings words against them and she has personally divided us and pitted us against each other. It’s taken me years to realize how much control she had and how little respect and empathy she has for anyone, but herself. Know the warning signs and if they are screaming at you listen to it!❤

I've been 3 years free of my mother.. and I still can't watch videos like this for more than the first couple minutes without getting intensely triggered and bailing out. And I know I've healed so much since the beginning. I lost my whole family in the process of cutting contact with her. Narcs don't take defeat without taking as much from you as they can. Rather reminds me of the devil; trying to get as many people into hell as he can before he's sent there for good himself.

They like blaming you for everything....Selflove can save you. Stay healthy inside. Walk away and let go❤️

I relate so much about the paralysis. Sometimes I open my mouth to speak up and I literally become speechless. I can't live like this!!!!

I have had realtionships with narcs that were not intimate ones. They toy with your mental health. I am glad that I don't deal with any of them on a daily basis anymore

I’m 32 and I’ve just cut off my husband. It’s draining and I couldn’t take anymore

Her videos actually brought tears to my eyes. I just got out of a marriage with a narcissist and I feel so validated. Im so grateful to be out I truly believe that staying would have killed me one way or another.

I just realized if I can survive 24 years with a covert malignant narcissist I feel like I can survive anything! So much stronger than I ever thought I was!

Yes! This why I finally said good bye to my marriage after 22 years! I literally had an epiphany while we were arguing and said oh my god, there’s nothing I can do to make him happy…ever! And I asked for a divorce that day and started the process and saw it to completion this time last year!

I have had many relationships with narcissists and when I think back, I realise its because I didnt know how to set boundaries with such people. I was apologetic about being myself but not anymore.. Now am happily married and have set boundaries with family where needed :)

I grew up with a mother that was an extreme narcissist. My depression began at a very early age and my desire to kill myself started at age 13 and has continued 50 years to current. I did attempt suicide at age 42 and continue to pray for God to take me home. I wanted so badly to be in a happy and healthy marriage/relationship and was married four times to narcissistic men because that’s the personality I knew therefore was drawn to. I suffer from extreme depression (treated for 26 years), extreme anxiety disorder, and CPTSD. It wasn’t until after my most recent husband’s passing that I began doing some self-awareness work that I realized why my relationships never worked. So, now I’m in my early 60s and all alone. I never want to risk being in another relationship! I only want peace and joy in my life, I just don’t believe it will happen this side of heaven! Thank you for your information!

I was married to this Narcissist for over 12 years. She was really good at it, and I had no idea I was being gaslighted. Nearly lost my sanity, but finally left when I almost lost my spirit. Thank you for all your great information and inspiration, as I now know what this really is. My life is full and happy in a healthy relationship with my new wife of over 22 years!

I recently turned 60, and am a recovering alcoholic - 16 years sober. It took everything I had to sober up and break a family mold. Much thanks to your videos I have identified my mother's cruelty and narcissistic abuse. At 20 I married the prince of narcissism, which I divorced 25 years ago. For the past month I have been no contact with my mother, and middle child, who has been conditioned to think I am crazy. The head games are exhausting, I am so grateful to you and for my strength.

The worst thing after being abused by a narcissist is having to watch yourself become one to others because you no longer trust anyone to love anymore.

I'm a narcissistic abuse survivor, the main narcissist being my mom. I'm 33 yo, I've been the only one working and paying for everything for over 5 years now but I've only just escaped. I finally found the strength thanks to 2 things only: 1)me being on an antidepressant for a year and going to therapy, 2)meeting my lovely girlfriend who *actually* helped me to get away - by being there, sympathizing, supporting me, organizing and physically helping with the move. She was the first and the only one to do so. It's been a month after I got away. I still dissociate and can't believe I survived and this is not a bloody dream.

I had been wondering what was wrong with me for years, decades... and then, a couple of months ago, I figured out I grew up with a narcissistic mother, and that explained so many things.

I left my husband 3 months ago. We are married 41 years. I'm having a difficult time healing. I'm watching your videos to help me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

my name's Brent and I'm 24. My father is a narcissist and I'm building the strength and courage to detach from him again. He's raised me from the age of 3 and I left when I turned 18, a set back caused me to back pedal and now I'm living at his house again. I've finally told my grandmother and have her support. Thanks for posting these videos I needed this.

I had narc mother and father, narc both grandmothers, narc brother, narc husband, narc uncle, narc bosses, and narc friend. That is why I go lonely solitude almost like monk life style, L am afraid to attract again any narc in my life, it so much pain.

I was scapegoat for 54 years. I tried for decades to keep parental relationship until last week happened, and now it's over, because I say it's over. Grieved for a few days, then BAM! I realized... I AM FREE!

Yes I was in a narcissistic relationship for 7 years. Everything you talk about is my story for those years. I was emotionally and physically drained and literally going crazy. Toward the end it got really ugly, and I ended up checking myself into mental health. I was literally going crazy. But once I got out and went to counseling, my life began to get positive and I started to return to who I was and am. Today I have never been happier. I just never knew how bad it was and how bad it would get. It is so toxic.

Yup. I gladly threw in the towel on a relationship I truly valued. Once I walked away I realized that I was the only person on our relationship that valued it. It did not bother the narcissist at all. Sweet freedom!

It’s kind of contradictory to say that a narcissist ex admitted that to gaslighting. One of the behavior patterns of a narcissist is that they won’t admit fault on their own, and that they use gaslighting to convince you that they were never at fault. I can tell you what behavior of my narcissist ex led me to believe that I was being gaslighted though. Gaslighting is a real insidious way of manipulation- to make you believe that there is something wrong with you, that the actions/words of your narcissist weren’t really what they seemed to be. It makes you question your judgement, leading to you ignoring your instincts and senses. I swallowed all of her gaslighting for years, mostly because I wanted the relationship to work- like most people who have been the partner of a narcissist. I started realizing that something was wrong 6 months before I was discarded. It was actually this revelation that I had that led to the discard- once I started seeing through the illusion that she presented, I started to see all of her actions for what they really were, and I started to question her on everything and stood my ground on issues that I previously gave in on. We had gotten into a really bad argument. Tensions between us had been building for a few months. We had to move from our rental and find a new place to live within 2 months, in a town that was going through a surge in prices for rental properties. It was difficult finding a place to live that was within our budget, and still live in the town that had come to be our community. Between that and all of the normal logistics in moving cause a lot of minor arguments and stress between us- more than what was normal with her narcissistic and selfish behavior. We found a place, moved in and was in the process of bringing the final things over from the old place to the new place and cleaning the old place when we had gotten into an argument about something minor. All of the pent up tensions and resentment came out. During the argument, she was dismissive to me and told me that everything was my fault and if I didn’t like it then I could pack my shit and leave. I was so frustrated that I knocked her external computer monitor down (so she would face me and not continue to argue with her back turned to me). She got up and in my face and told me that I probably wanted to hit her. I said that I didn’t, I just wanted to discuss the issues. She said that if I wasn’t man enough to hit her she would give herself a black eye and call the police on me. I turned and left the room, because I knew the argument was escalating to a place that I didn’t;t want it to go. As I turned to leave the room, she jumped on me and started punching me. I told her if she was going to hit me, I would call the police. She started punching me again, so I left the room, went to the master bathroom and called the police. They came, interviewed both of us and arrested her for spousal battery. Afterwards she only blamed me for the incident and never, never acknowledged that she hit me. A week or so later, she asked me to write a letter to the DA requesting that the charges be dropped. I said that I would write a letter but that she would have to acknowledge her actions and to apologize to me first. She said that she was sorry that I felt that way. I told her that I wouldn’t write anything to the DA, and she stormed off, giving me the silent treatment for a couple of days. I knew what happened, and have a very clear recollection of the events. I’ve been punched before with closed fists, and I know what it feels like- and it doesn’t feel like a “shove”, what she insisted was what she did (her story was that she shoved me only after I shoved her, which was nonsense). I got a copy of the police report, and one of several reasons that they arrested her is because they found her knuckles red and swollen. I tried to move through this, but she kept trying to change the narrative of what happened when I was very clear on what happened. I felt crazy, but knew that I wasn’t. This led me to question everything else that she told me. Once I started realizing that most things she told me (when it came to disagreements or things that I had an issue with) were lies, and I believed the illusion that she created to trick me. That’s what the narcissist does- they present an illusion to you. Just like looking at an optical illusion, once you see that it is a trick of the eyes, you can’t look at it again without seeing the trick. Once I started seeing through her illusions, the house of cards that she built started to fall down and I slowly started to realize the type of person that she was, even though I didn’t want to believe it. I started enforcing my boundaries and that drove her crazy and caused more fights and gaslighting, which is what I believe led to her finally discarding me 6 months after her arrest. She never admitted to gaslighting me though. Even after confronting her with things from years previous that I realized she changed to make me the one at fault, she stays with her story. Even with indisputable proof, she stays with her version of events and says everyone else is wrong. Don’t expect any type of satisfaction or closure from a narcissist, because you won’t get any. You have to believe your judgment and instinct, and not tie your self-worth and self-esteem to anything that they say to you. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com,,

This is me with my mum....paralyzed with fear....helpless. What is love....never a second thought.

Sending love, light and warm virtual hugs to everyone who has or still is experiencing narcissistic abuse...I'm currently in the process of healing from experiencing it through my 2 older siblings, whom I've cut off emotionally for about 2 years now. Do I miss having a relationship with them - sometimes, yes.. Do I regret cutting them off? No.

OMG self-doubt, worry and anxiety is my life. ✔️ Helplessness with my parents -> hopelessness. ✔️ Socially withdrawn. ✔️ And I second-guess myself. ✔️ Depression, sadness, irritability. ✔️ Yep, I knew my parents are narcissists. At least I'm not around them any more but I still have these handicaps. How do I get over this?

Overcoming the web of a narcissist's manipulation is a journey no one should walk alone. Their strategies can shatter your sense of self and reality, leaving you to question everything, including the help of family and friends. The emotional, mental, and even physical toll it takes can be overwhelming.

The difficulty in making simple choices, that one hit me surprisingly hard. Never thought that was at all related to being raised by a narcissist. Always just thought I short-circuited sometimes with indecisiveness. Wow.

The paralysis and doubting myself took years to get over.

I have just left a narcissist - my mental health and physical health is destroyed!

I had relationship with a malignant narcissist for 12 years i got away and reinvented myself but still have difficulty trusting others

Only found these videos in the last 10 days. SO grateful. Thank you. I am finally coming to terms with a narc mother and ex husband. 58 years of abuse since conception. I always felt like Cinderella - helper, invisible, truth teller and scapegoat all rolled into one. Now I know I didn't imagine any of it. I finally am able to let go of the hurt and confusion and I have a new clarity and new expectations about life. SO grateful. 🙏

I've been married to one for 20 years. I've finally woke up and I'm confronting him now. Regaining my strength and voice. I wouldn't wish it on anyone

I can’t believe I’ve experienced so many of these relationships. It really explains a lot of my internal issues.

My father is a narcissist, at 83 years old he's still trying it on, you're not allowed to have a different opinion to him, blind rage follows...

My Mother was a Maligant Narcissist as well as my Sister and my ex Husband. I didn't know what Narcissism was until I was 50. I am older now and understand why I isolate and don't find it comfortable to travel far. My anxiety and phobias I believe masked the fear of the abuse I would get from my family members. I had to protect my spirit and identity from them crushing it. It goes on and on and now I am without any of them and I am working on peace within.

My mother. After she humiliated me at my wedding recently, I know I can’t have her in my life unless she changes. My father and I are close but he’s a codependent enabler and the writing on the wall tells me that my next chapter of like of being a mom myself won’t have my parents present and it’s heart breaking. I’m trying to find a therapist that understands these situations.

My mother is a narcissist. My dad feeds and waters her narcissism.

I am so grateful for having survived the attempted robbing of my soul! Married for 24 years to a covert narcissist who died from cancer almost 3 years ago, I look back and shudder at how close I came to going to jail or a psych ward. I didn't know until after he passed away what I had been dealing with all these years! I learned that he was not the only one I was being emotionally spiritually and mentally abused by. My siblings and my inlaws all are narcissists. The situations are different but the behavior is the same. Manipulation gaslighting blaming! Absolute insanity! I moved far away and have gone no contact with all of them and I have never known peace existed like this before. I have completely started again and at 65 years old I think it's about time.

I am currently going through a divorce with a narcissist. It's been a hard emotional process but I am staying strong

Sibling. I was undergoing therapy during a very tough time, and my therapist said 'She sounds like she has narcissistic personality disorder.' Our mom called this sib a narcissist for years. Went "total no contact" and it was the best gift I ever gave myself. Unfortunately, I ended up isolated from my entire family, who rallied round the narcissist.

I was typing out a comment with some of my story, then deleted it out of fear that somehow she would see it and it would open that door again. So yea, nearly a decade out and it still affects me. Just happy to be free again and took the time to heal so that I could find the true love that I have now.

I’ve been going thru this. I never knew this was a thing and never wanted to admit that I’m a victim. Thanks for the information.

This has been my life beginning 1981. I left the quite abusive, angry narcissist in 1995, but married another “nice one” in 2002. I have believed that since he’s a “nice guy”, a “good man” (as my aunt frequently emphasizes) and not overtly physically and verbally abusive, the deception, cheating, withholding, stonewalling (he’d win the silent treatment trophy), neglect and sarcasm were often my doing. I never even considered that he was narcissistic until a few months ago.

I was in a narcissistic relationship with my daughters father for four years. He was the most manipulating person I have ever met and he had me doing things I would never do in my right mind. I suffer anxiety now from him. He filed bankruptcy, his car was repossessed, recovering alcoholic, gambling addiction, and has ptsd. Everyday I was walking on eggshells from the mental and emotional abuse. Everything was always my fault and nothing I did was good enough. Our relationship was strongly fueled on a sexual level.The best thing I did was leaving him. However I still suffer with the trauma bond but I am getting better everyday. He now has a new relationship and I just see it as his next victim. Poor girl has no idea what she’s in store for.

They will make the prey doubt his/her integrity, instincts, sexuality, importance and most importantly decisions.

She described my father. If I went to see him at his office, he would loudly demonstrate his great connection with me and give me money. I was the apple of his eye. At home, he wanted NOTHING to do with me. Nothing. I learned this early and went to my bedroom when he came home because his disdain was so painful. In public, he was always the life of the party. At home he was morose and distant, living behind a wall with barbed wire on top. He managed to give all his kids severe anxiety and inferiority complexes (since he had to WIN at everything). Took me years of analysis to get to this truth and overcome this. My mother also became extremely neurotic and frightened. If she complained to him, he would say something like "If I wasn't such a good Christian, I would divorce you!" Wow. I sincerely believe that he always wore a mask to woe her. Once married, he took the mask off. None of us kids attended his funeral. We just couldn't. My poor mother died 16 years before him.

I have all of this , you’re talking about my life …I’m out of that relationship but I’m like this in all areas of my life .

2:04 I social withdraw because society gets offended if I speak "ill" of my own parents (both narc). It's acceptable for them to treat me the way they do but I'm not allowed to complain or call it out. The typical answer is "yeah.. But... Is your mom/dad..." NO wonder it took me 32 years to figure out they are abusive. In the bright side I finally know from chore what's wrong with me and can now work on it to live a inner peaceful life one day.

I’m actually glad I met my covert narcissist. I needed him to break down the old me which awakened this other sense I never knew I had. Our Heavenly Father was with me through it all and gave me this gift to help me along my journey. Note that I’ve had my first experience with his kind, I’m ready for battle. I just have to warn people to be careful because I almost lost everything. When you have a steering fight or flight instinct about a person, RUN. I confronted him about seeing him for who he was and he was relentless in trying to ruin my life. He knew my movements, used others to try to harm me, made me lose my job, made me lose myself and thought he won when I felt completely destroyed but he unknowingly helped me on my spiritual path and it feels like I’ve been reborn. I see people for who they are, situations, can sense things before they happen now. It doesn’t feel real how the world looks through my new set of eyes lol. I feel amazing but the pain to get here was too much to bear at the time when I felt helpless, powerless, afraid and alone.

Can’t count how many times I’ve told my narc mother “I’m done.” Never to be “done”. I recognize I would be better off, mentally, emotionally, living in my car than under her roof.

17 years with a BPD who appeared to have overlap in covert narcissism, factitious disorder and possibly Munchausen and Munchausen by proxy past 40 years old. She also has auto-immune syndrome which is sometimes connected to BPD. I’m fighting her in court now and I’m very close to getting mental health evaluation approved by the courts. I’ve spent $38,000 to protect my child and it’s been an uphill battle royal. Please wish me well… I’ve been through so much. It’s only the love and desire to protect my son that keeps me going some days. It’s really hard. 😞

🙋🏻‍♀️ My mother has NPD. I've gone no contact. Please, please, please do a video on adult children of narc mothers.

I’ve been living with narcissists my whole life, starting with my mother, continuing with my first partner, my father, my sister and now I am stuck, lost and confused.

I have had to deal with this in several family members including a parent, a MIL and 2 siblings. Those relationships are soul crushing for a young person trying to figure life out. I developed so many life altering issues from this. Luckily I decided over a year ago to explore what was causing me to be so emotionally stressed all the time. Once I found out all the symptoms just kind of lifted. Over time some of these folks have passed on and sadly that is a relief at times, because most of us could have done without the bad memories of feeling strip mined for our emotional resources.

I was raised in a family with narcissistic patterns. My dad has a lot of narcissistic traits. It was also a heavily patriarchal society. My mom has been the enabler and I believe I was ‘groomed’ to be the same. I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 19 and it turns out he was also a narcissist. It took me 23 years to begin to question what was happening. We are now divorced and I’m trying to unravel the pieces of my life. I’m also trying to break the cycle with my 5 children

My mother is a narcissist,and I have always been an empath and it's a living nightmare

The worst one was my mother. She was quite refined and educated, could even come over as shy, but was emotionally cold as ice while pretending she wasn't. She could act loving and be convincing but it would never have occurred to her to protect or support her kids - just to use them from an early age. In return for neglect and breadcrumbs she wanted unwavering service and adulation. Her tactics were very effective, simply because I couldn't believe a mother would think the way she did. I didn't know about narcissism at that time and I was trauma bonded to her. I am still recovering and pleased the information is now so readily available.

From the research I’ve done, including watching you, Dr Ramani, my mother is on the high end of the spectrum, a dark triad narcissist as her vicious, and cunning planning of taking me or whoever down is something I haven’t seen with others, very similar but not to the level of my malicious mother. Her enabler is a businessman who hides her despicable behaviour. He enjoyed abusing my sister, who has been on the sickness benefit for 30 years+. I have all 5 of your signs. But I am fighting back. 52 now, a mum myself and I’m still struggling. Ex-Husband is abusive too and recently really stepped it up. There is no help for me but the internet, I am 100% alone. No family, no friends, no support unless you count two Jack Russells, and I sure do! Thank you.

My mother is a malignant sadistic narcissist, and my 2 much older sisters are monster dark triad narcissists. I am the scapegoat and live 50 years in a triangle of emotionally abusive horror. My entire life has had so many missing moments by choice or by their choice of exclusion. Both Dr. Ramani and your videos have been so very helpful. Thank you!

When you find yourself outside the relationship somewhere far removed and yet find yourself apologizing for something that is not your fault and maybe not even anything to do with you. Logically in your head you know, but in the heart deep down it feels so opposite, like watching a bad dream you have no control of, and you're the person telling the guy onscreen don't go downstairs by yourself!