“Can men and women be friends” YES. Omg, it’s not hard. If men are physically incapable of being friends with women they don’t find attractive, how are they able to care about their daughters/sisters/mothers? We are human, and most men do WANT TO SEE US as human. The reason so many don’t is because of society, and the way they’re taught to objectify women.
From my experience a large problem is when a boy is taught that women are romantic interests for men, even by almost all media. Yeah, dating is cool, but god I am so mad that even now I still get self concious when talking to female friends because "what if i like them? what if they like me? am i being too friendly? will my friend who is also her boyfriend think I'm being too friendly? will my girlfriend think I'm being too friendly?" I am so mad that the people who should've taught me how to make friends instead taught me to see friendship with girls as the first step towards dating, eliminating 50% of the friendships I could've had
Friendship towards girl is indeed te first step towards dating. You'd never know what happens in the future, it's a slow process, your inner questions and thoughts are valid. Whether they end up liking you or you end up liking them, you can't control either. @@Velzizar
@Velzizar to add to your experience, I've always found the portrayal of women as some trophy in media also destroys growing men's understanding of identity. We're encouraged to believe that, based on these stories and social conditioning- our value is tied purely to whether or not we can "get the girl". You know who doesn't achieve that in media? The loser, the villain, the unworthy. Colour me shocked that men grow to become dangerously influenced by whether or not a woman approves of his advances, resorting to him becoming aggressive to her or others in retaliation for this fear he is the "unworthy" one in all these movies and gossip throughout their community. Seriously, find me a show or movie centered around a man, and I guarantee his drive is STRONGLY motivated by achieving things that water down to "so (woman character) finds me desirable". We need more male-centric media about men being fulfilled and happy regardless of a love interest. Show men a way of living that a crush/woman's attention is as detrimental to their existence as getting the highest K/D in a match.
@@JayMick the shows I grew up with had good main characters who weren't chasing after the girl, like Dragon ball, Beyblade, Batman trilogy, Iron man Spiderman, Death Note, Hunter × Hunter, etc.
To add on, there's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone. Needing your partner to never be attracted to another human but yourself is extremely narcissistic.
Yes and no. Principally, yes, it is narcissistic to want eyes on you and only you. There will always be others we find attractive for a variety of reasons. That's just how most peopl are. Still it's natural and absolutely human to take some level of offense to that. Humans are competitive creatures, especially in terms of relationships. Learning your partner is attracted to someone can reasonably ignite that sense of competition. This also shouldn't be held against anyone.
@@ultilinium8 there is a difference between "I have competition" and "how dare you even glance in the direction of a member of the opposite sex" though, the comment you replied to clearly implied the latter
Also "attracted" is a fairly vague term. I'm sure the woman in the video was referring to sexual attraction, but the supposed study could have clearly defined it as any type of attraction and that would be an easy thing to miss if it wasn't included in the study abstract. If I'm talking to someone that I actually do not find attractive in any way (eg. intellectually, platonically) then yeah, I probably would get annoyed quicker. I say that as an ace woman. All that says about my friends is that they're people I like.
My favourite fact about brain activity studies is that an MRI study has shown that dead salmon experience emotions! So we have two options: either every single brain activity study has a chance to be very wrong or dead salmon are magic. Also on the note of a gendered brain I often hear that the average male and average female brain are more similar to each other than if you picked two random people from the same gender and compared their brains. All in all neuroscience is kinda sketchy and while it can definitely show some trends in very large sample sizes (like how there do seem to be minor intrinsic differences correlating to gender identity) you can't really draw any conclusions about a singular person from their brain scans (except for like tumors or smth)
The whole "intrinsic gendered brain" myth-past suggestion was later disproven, even a Trans man himself, a popular pro-trans youtuber Alexander Avila said this is inaccurate. Not all ppl are born with gender identity and these identities eventually develop and sometimes they change,sometimes they stay, same for sexuality, it's fluid sometimes in some individuals. We don't exactly know which causes trans or cis or sexuality , we know of some guesses and some mix ups but these causes and mix ups aren't always the same in all ppl of a gender or sexuality. I'm not denying minor innate differences existing between sexes or genders, I'm just saying that there's no truly *overall* male or female brain or cis or trans brain( as of currently). This doesn't mean we shouldn't support trans ppl right to exist at all, but pretending that the same science oppressing trans ppl is going to liberate them is too hopeful and lost thinking, it's still kinda pathologizing trans ppl in a medical context, ppl shouldn'tneed a reason to being themselves, or at least such reasonbe themselves not of others and especially not of an academic area heavily subjected to biases, queer ppl have beendoing this for centuries if not millenia. And even then this minor differences which number of differences, which especific ones and how much they differ are varying from person to person, there's almost always exceptions. A lot of ppl in this society sadly link masculinity or femeninity with a certain sexuality, gender and sex and it isn't always the case for any or none of those groups...
Thank you, for counteracting hate scrolling. A lot of people just don’t check if something is true/logical or not because they become consumed by hate and misinformation.
One thing we learned about MRI's is that our brains are personalized. Just like some bodies have vaginas and some have dicks, some sternums are a bit higher, lower, or not there at all. brains develop differently. So when you say an area ''lights up'', a neuroscientist is more interested in the behaviour that is being displayed in relation to it rather than what is normally associated with it. To think the other way around is what the expression ''placing the cart in front of the horse'' was made for rather than in response to.
Current popular strains of feminism that fail to deal with gender bioessentialism as the root problem end up just going right back to sexist beliefs about both men and women. There are strains of feminism that do tackle the issue, mainly by examining trans people's position and what their existence and oppression imply about how gender is enforced on everyone, to everyone's detriment. It's just that those strains are more niche, because rejecting trans people is currently a pretty popular political stance among those in power.
I'm so uncomfortable and very distracted watching others cutting something pointing the blade directly at their hands like that 😬 (...even though I do stupid things like that myself sometimes; at least I don't do it while also being preoccupied talking to a camera)
I think she can imagine what it’s like because she is once of those people that experienced it themselves. She finds unattractive people annoying without reason
@@user-ct6jz3im2o I personally don't know any. So for me it's like a weird untrue sexist statement, I'm sure you get that. I think it's a cultural thing, I don't think it's biological. I respect people for their personality, not their sexual attractiveness.
@@wintutorials2282 I mean I've personally seen people like that but I agree with you with it being mostly cultural rather than anything. (biology plays a role in my opinion but society has a way greater impact.)
can't really see of any possible biological explanation of why men and women couldn't be friends...especially when there's differences in a group amd similarities between groups, and even then there's exceptions so it wouldn't still be 100% impossible for 100% of ppl...
Can't really see any biological explanation of how men and women couldn't be friends, especially if there's no attraction involved mutual or not,especially if mutual non-attraction,even then there's exceptions and it wouldn't mean that it's 100% impossible for all 100% of ppl to have an entirely mutual platonic male and female friendship. Feelings sometimes develop between same sex ones , same for opposite sex ones thus sometimes not eventually developing explicit/rom feelings...
Thank you for making this video. I've had to jump off of social medial because of the kind of sexist content that would appear on my feeds. It feels like a senseless and unfactual attack on the opposite gender. Now, usually this is from young people who are still forming their ideas about the world, but they are harmful to the self esteem of men, none the less. ❤
Imagine having no healthy relationships with the opposite sex. Woman really has never met a functioning man (unless she did and immediately drove him away with her aggressive insecurities)
People that make their insecurities other people's problems are usually lonely. Probably part of why she's ranting into a camera speaking to people that can't respond.
Had a guyfriend once had a creepy girl towards him in a similar situation like the girl in the vid got a creep guy, so while not excusing sexism as a coping mechanism I get why she's taking refuge in that so she has ""proof"" backing her personal bad expirience and feelings associated with it. Only most of those who had an actual entirely platonic friendship between a man and a woman do understand and know that its possible ,despite if what they were taught and if they did let go of personal amd universal selfish confirmation bias and generalizations, regardless of how different or not(ppl in a group are different and in between groups there's similarities)gender, sexuality and wether they're masc or fem. Not all ppl are straight and not only male-female friendships are the ones who sometimes eventually develop feelings wether mutual or not. Even exes can sometimes go to go being friends only platonical mutually. You can even like and/or be attracted to someone and see yourself together better as friends if you are respectful, you can even become a couple and after go back to being friends wholly platonically. Tired of this segregation and essentialism... By far most of the male and female(Im bi) friends I've never felt anything explicit or romantic towards them and neither had most of them towards me, same for most of my male friends with most of their female friends and most of my female friends with most of their male friends. I had a few instances of both types feelings separately amd mixed developing from me and from them but they went eventually away too and we still remain wholly great friends mutually .
I'm curious to find out how being outside the gender binary and not being heterosexual play into this; gay men get along with women all the time in my experience
As much as we like to pretend we are different species, Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus type of mentality, the differences are not genetic, but social and biological in that we are radically different in physical strength (this does matter in our perceptions and security in the world). We over generalize social cues and under percieve words, language and tone of voice to convey intention, which is why we rarely get along between the sexes as far as perception of the world (we are the subject, so we see ourselves through the eyes of other people, and this feels like a harsh reality sometimes), but I think at least we do agree that our feelings are valid (we know what they are) and our bodies are free from oppression or suppression (we have the freedom to choose our mate). We want the same thing biologically (connection), but we rarely want the same thing cognitively (protection). If we are lonely in our mind, we cannot attach biologically, so we pull people in to be lonely with us instead of coming up to connect at a basic level of human need (physical touch). Men view their world from the outside in, and women view their world from the inside out.
the word "femininity" or "masculinity" in this term doesn't mean who it's coming from, it means who it's directed at. roughly put, toxic masculinity is a harmful mindset about what a man is or should be, what is manly, for example, "men shouldn't cry or they're weak". both men and women can say this but it's still about masculinity. i didn't really understand why he mentioned toxic masculinity here, because the girl doesn't tell what a man should be, but i guess you can see the statement "men are only nice with women they're attracted to, and get annoyed when talking to women they're not attracted to" as a harmful image of men, therefore the term is applicable
Agreed, if someone acts a certain way it's almost certainly because they were taught or they have adapted to do so, and it's sad that so often people don't think about the fact that experiences are the primary things that shape us, thus gender shapes us perhaps only through the experiences it leads us to. Although i do have a worry. If we assume that male and female brains are completely identical, do we not risk missing some of the nuance that comes with the gender? In the same way we have missed differences in the action of medicines and the symptoms of diseases and disorders over the history?
It might be interesting to make that assumption, at least that brains are pretty much the same until hormones affect them for certain situations or circumstances. So far the assumption has been that men's brains and women's brains are so radically different that w0Men caN't D0 m@Th or understand men and they're all hypochondriacs who overreact to pain, and I'm tired of that assumption. Let's try something different.
So it sounds like she is saying men only get annoyed with women they r not attracted too 🤨 so they r annoyed with pretty much every women that sounds pretty stupid
I'm no expert but my understanding is that some dimorphic differences are common but nothing is universal, and also that different morphology doesn't necessarily mean any particular difference in intelligence or personality.
What? I'm not quite sure what your point is supposed to be, if you're suggesting those two are related then that's a logical fallacy. Not to mention the fact that toxic masculinity definitely is a real, proven thing, it's just that (especially nowadays) it's overused improperly.
@@mitchratka3661because if one gender is toxically expressed, there must be something different about the brains of the genders. Otherwise, we have a new problem where the same structure, functioning the same way, is producing a different result. As it stands, the truth is *we don’t know*. We don’t understand the physical means behind thought, how could we begin to accurately describe differences or similarities in things we do not understand? Neuroscience is underdeveloped and mystic.
@@sladepullman-stewart9162 ok I might just be tired, but honestly I don't understand most of that. As for why the brain would be operating differently based on the sexes, or genders it doesn't matter, that could literally just be due to us considering ourselves one or the other; I mean seriously we can have major physical impacts on our own brain due to THINKING we took medicine, that's what a placebo is, so the fact that gender/sex is one of the MOST influenced aspects in terms of how we think/express ourselves means it's very likely it has nothing to do with being born either gender/sex and everything to do with environment. Probably not 100-0, but I think it's overwhelming a majority that it's basically negligible, so with rounding maybe 100-0 lol
I'm pretty sure toxic masculinity is meant we're raised by the society thinking that's what masculinity is. Kind of how we think about other gendered brain. So i don't see how his 2 statements contradict one another.
I can say with a 95% confidence interval that men only have friendships with the opposite sex if it is a romantic or physical interest. Otherwise, he is just a colleague. Make no mistakes ladies, that sweet and stingless bee is actually just hiding the fact that he would sting you if you let him
Buddy, the only person you can talk about with 95% accuracy is yourself. This isn't a "man" problem, it's a misogynist problem. Sex isn't "stinging" someone. If you characterize it as inherently predatory like that, it says a lot about how you view women and WHY you can't genuinely be friends with any of them.
@@laurelgardner F me. Bees are a predator species now, LOL. Above all else is the bumblebee, the top of the food chain. Beware of the bee, it might make you cease to be.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it something like the male brain has 10 times as much gray matter as a female brain and the female brain has 6.5 times as much white matter as the male brain, The female brain is 10% smaller in total volume, but has 20% more connective tissue between the left and the right hemisphere. On top of all this, the male brain is vertically wired with more dominance to the left hemisphere where the female brain is horizontally wired because of the connective tissue between the left and right hemisphere. And male Brains use more occipital Activity and have more frontal lobe access. It seems to me that You and your community Of Gender neutralists Are making up this bullshit that there is no difference between the mail and the female brain. When there is Huge significant differences.
Why do you think the "gender neutralist" crowd, as you call us, is also pro-trans? We're not saying this stuff is meaningless, we're saying it's far too complex and varied in individuals to set up a binary norm based on averages.
Got to wonder about the possible relationship this gray matter thing and how the reduction in gray matter during pregnancy and recently after birth works. Gross oversimplification: pregnant people (who tend to be women) see a temporary reduction in gray matter through neural pruning. This doesn’t mean they get less intelligent, it means that their thoughts are faster and more efficient, which might be important in taking care of a small and fragile human being that needs things all the time. Also, how do trans and intersex folks factor into this? What do their brains look like?
That was a clear and concise rebuttal to social media copy pasta slop. Thanks for clearing that up so completely. Truthfully, I only wanted to comment how you choice of glasses emphasizes how your nose and facial hair look like a 🥸 disguise.