Never Be Manipulated Again! - 7 Ways To SPOT Manipulation & Gaslighting | Dr. Mariel Buque 

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It was such an honor to sit with you and help us all to break the cycle!!! Thank you for having me Lisa! ❤

Watch out for when they get irritated or annoyed as if you have become a chore.. end it for sure.

Can we talk about how beautiful this lady’s skin is. She is beautiful 🤩.

I love this. A close male friend told me years ago to never ever believe a man when he says he’s too busy. At the time, he was a radio personality, he did the morning show, he had special appearances and shows to do all the time and he now works for TVOne. In the midst of all his busyness, he said he still always find the time to spend with the woman he loves.

Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of her. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.

Yes!! I realized I attracted liars and cheaters because I wasn’t being honest or telling the truth about how I felt and how uncomfortable I felt in the relationship and how I new they were lying and gaslighting and manipulating and I was scared to hurt their feelings!!

I was love bombed for 2 years. We married and had kids and I spent 11 more years trying to get back the man who had love bombed me. I didn't know about narcissism then.

That's true, talking does bring closeness, that's why manipulators dont want to do it. They deflect and dismiss

Don't sleep with them and they will leave on their own.

31:00 People will tell you your standards are too high when they know they aren’t good enough to reach them. Tell them this: “If I’m too much then go find less!”

I've seen some situations where the love bombing doesn't stop until she is married and pregnant and then he becomes an entirely different person.

It’s embarrassing, humiliating and damaging

“how can anyone ever authentically love you if you never let anyone authentically know you?”!!!!!!!! Best question EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a highly sensitive person, I am always open to expanding my knowledge on how to interact with manipulators. My current boss is a manipulator and I am glad I established my boundaries early on.

A week ago I decided that "devaluation" is not for me and just left him. Now i blocked his numbers and avoid him at all cost because he would either try to restart with love bombing or go full rage if he understands there is no way back into manipulating me. It was the first cycle ... nobody devalues me without consequences

Wow wow wow. It’s so sad how little of the population is capable of healthy relationships. I’ve been verbally and emotionally abused for my needs and standards by many people. It’s very hard, prob impossible, to find someone who is capable of acknowledging someone else’s needs.

This interview should be shown throughout the world, including the education system as early as high school. You two are a blessing.

You can tell when you are being manipulated and abused to SOME extent. Some have more experience actively working on themselves and have been more self aware. We KNOW the signs by the gut feeling we make a CHOICE to ignore it based on self esteem, past experiences, level of self worth and etc. Most people ignored the signs and deal with the after math later.

This is so helpful!! I was love bombed so hard and I was hooked. I dipped out after stage two bc my spirit felt off with the whole situation. I was literally losing myself in the love bomb smoke.

I was in a situationship prior to meeting my husband. The man I had been hanging out with, texting and calling, told me there was no relationship when I asked him about adding a title to our relationship. I was shocked and confused but completely cut off our situationship because what he wanted was not what I wanted. And thank goodness my husband came along and wanted a long term relationship, marriage, and kids, like me. Whew! I am not for situationships.

Oh what a BEAUTIFUL woman! Her brown, glowing skin and those eyes! Beautiful teeth, radiant smile! The short hair suits her! 🏵☘🔥😍👏

I have been "gaslit" by family members. I always knew how I stood with certain individuals, but tried to avoid a confrontation when possible. I went along to get along, not to rock the boat. I just felt, there is not many family members left, so just say nothing. So now I just "feed them with a long spoon", I keep to myself.I must keep my self esteem and sanity.SMH...🤦🏽‍♀️

2nd Speaker: Terri Cole "Giving is Love. OVER-Giving Is Dysfunctional" Thanks Lisa for mentioning your favorite quote from Terri.

Great topic! My concern is that when dating we are encouraged to be vulnerable to allow deeper connections. I was vulnerable and didn’t realise I was giving up precious information to a narcissist that used this information to his advantage to align with me and then the abuse followed. Guidance on vulnerability would be appreciated for people like me ,recovering from narcissistic abuse.

Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects. To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control. Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com,,

We need us women to SAVE our mental health relationships for the world snd children!

I have experience with gaslighting and love bombing. I went through a years long relationship with a narcissist. Very damaging to me for years and I haven't been able to trust another man because of it. These videos help us that have been traumatized.

I can't stand manipulation in a relationship.. I just walk away 😊

Politicians and religious organizations also Gaslight people.

You asked such great questions that allowed her to open up and feel relatable. So often it can feel like people are talking at you and not from experience, and I love her you both were able to bring it to a sense of, “I’ve been right there with you”

I have been manipulated of recent & been made to believe I deserved it. I apologized for people actively hurting me & ruining my & my child’s life. When in reality I was taken advantage of from the start. I felt crazy. Hearing this has been an eye opener. Thank u.

I’m at the beginning of the video but journaling saves me every time! Keeps me out of that delusional state!

I am AMAB, but I'm also the product of CPTSD and bonded closely with my mother who is the codependent in a narc relationship. The talk about how women are socialized to be nurturing and giving to a fault to their partners, their children, etc, resonates so much with me because I really took on all of my mothers stances and attitudes when I was a child because I saw her as the nonviolent, stable, 'healthy' one. I am now undoing a lot of the damage my childhood did to me. Understanding that stating needs in a relationship is not 'needy' but assertive and healthy is so validating, because for so often I have struggled to voice them and when I did my partners would often immediately call me selfish and make my needs my problem to deal with in isolation. My heart goes out to every woman who has experienced this.

And our willingness to be vulnerable actually puts us in an incredibly powerful position because it allows us to see (hopefully early on) how that person will respond. It's a good idea to lead with something that's not going to be devastating if we put ourselves out there and then get ghosted.

I broke it off with my partner of almost 3 years because of such behaviours. I was starting to not even like him, let alone love him. I pretty quickly rekindled with an old flame and what was initially a mature breakup has now turned into him now slandering my name and playing the victim. I’ve become the villain now. It would be easy for me to get upset and buy into his bull shit story that he actually wanted the relationship but having been away from his energy I can now see clearly past the mist. If there’s one thing he did teach me, it was…. I shouldn’t care what other people think. Their perception is theirs to have 🥳 Just to note… I’m deeply in love with the guy I should have committed to 12 years ago. It’s everything a relationship should be and I’ve never been so happy in my life. He makes me feel seen, valued, loved and wanted more than I’ve ever experienced in my life combined and treats me like his princess ❤ everything happens for a reason.

What a beautiful Black woman! Thank you for confirming I've been taking the right approach in my eating life. There are way too many ego -driven men who "chase" women.

THANK YOU ~I am setting 🌈 My Bar HIGHER. I was always taught since childhood to be a GIVER & Overachiever. It has only brought WRONG people into my life. 🗽My INNER PEACE & SANITY is far more VITAL🎈 Self-Love: Being nice vs dishonest how YOU TRULY FEEL with others & yourself. "How can one authentically love you, IF you never allow them to authentically know you?!?!? 🛑 STOP the Auto-Yes! * Years ago, I did start saying, "Let me sleep/pray on it" when I'm unsure. I'm practicing the Speaking-Up immediately VS biting my tongue; Otherwise, it brings me RESENTMENT later. Oops, the Resentment File Cabinet gets bigger! Shrinking that baby NOW♨️

@Dr.MarielBuque I love what you’re saying about dissociation and being immobilized when it comes these toxic relationships. I’ve been in many narcissistic relationships and as a personal trainer I had no idea why my body wasn’t working properly. Until I put the puzzle pieces together and became a trauma-informed personal trainer. I help women awaken their bodies from a dissociated state with kind and gentle movement. My heart brakes when clients of mine say “I’m sorry” during workout sessions while they didn’t do anything wrong. As you said it has become their default. Thank you again 🙏

When you say sorry, almost by default. Wow. That hit me because even when I’m expressing sadness, I apologize. It seems no emotion is ever appropriate.

I’m gonna break this cycle. Thank you 🙏

It currently is so very difficult to navigate the dating and relationship arena, when far too many men and women so easily choose to selfishly manipulate each for their own personal gains.

Thank you @LisaBilyeu for asking @Dr.MarielBuque for concrete examples. Advice is easy to give. Framing it in a real life example is extremely helpful, especially when one is working their healing journey away from a tricky situation. THANK YOU both!

In my experience, for the past ten-ish months..there is ALOT of waiting, waiting, waiting..and lots of punishment. I do not consider myself to be a passive person. In my life, I solve problems and see things through. I complete tasks. It’s frustrating that I can’t solve this. Thank you.❤

I no longer allow myself To be subconsciously and consciously manipulated by another agenda that hinders my own goals And aspirations

She..Mariel Buque explained/ taught and helped all of us so much more than hardly anyone else that has ever tried to tell/ explain relationships with narcissists…detach emotionally from all narcissists period…they are nothing but trouble…they are walking talking acting BS and dangerous

This is so eye opening. I’ve realized some of this on my own as I was in the thick of stage 4 and 5. But hearing what the other stages have in store for me makes me so thankful for my friends’ and family’s support to leave before I really lose my self. Thank you so much for putting words to the complicated feelings involved in the beginning stages of an abusive and toxic relationship.

Exactly even in life in general. Not only love relationships it could happen with colleagues, friends, family etc. Very true words.

Oooo, I love how she says to call out the process, like I'm feeling super nervous about bieng vulnerable having this conversation. This is so helpful!!!

I LOVE that you said “I’m sorry you went through that”- survivors rarely ever hear that! ❤❤

Learned alottt but aside, sis is absolutely gorgeous. Her skin tone is so goldennn😍😍😍

People pleasers' say yes because they believe that is the only way for them to be liked. And not because they are dishonnest or not emotionally trustworthy or 'bullshitters'. Even making up a migrain is a way to say no. Until they do enough work and get to the place where they start to say 'no' to others and 'yes' to themselves.

I really needed this video. It was so confirming of my past gaslighting relationships.

Literally I'm breathing and breaking cycles again ❤🎉🎉🎉

I'm so glad you asked how do you know the difference between loving someone and love bombing someone. I was wondering the same exact thing❤

🎉Keeping MY PEACE & JOY~Thank you Lord for me now attracting the BEST!

Wow, just watching this I realize I was love bombed and gaslighted in my last relationship. It all makes sense now!! Thank you Lisa and Dr. Buque! I'm glad I'm on a healing journey and am figuring it all out.

Yes it happens. Most people cant be nice or stay nice for too long. Lastly, please accept the fact that you could be gaslit by multiple people at same time. So its not like one person is better than another. You have to cut out their bad behavior.

I love the fact that there are solutions here to recognize gaslighting and manipulation, step back from it, and reground and nurture self back to a healthy state of mind. Its all right here.💖

I was doing good when I gave up on being that woman. That cares a lot about falling deeply in love with men that had nothing to offer. I allow myself to take pain that took a while to get over it and move on. Here I go again. This crap hurts so bad I can't believe that I fell back into this trap again. Got me good and it's my fault. I saw the gaslighting but didn't understand it . I saw the twist when he realized that the game wasn't working on me. Towards the end he asked me. About where my money is going. I can't believe that I fell in love again with the wrong . Now I'm fighting in pain to win my heart and soul and mind back. Yeah it's all my fault.

My mother is a covered narcissist. I know you understand me. I have no life or energy left.

This is such valuable information. I really appreciate that you're offering practical guidance for getting back to self instead of the typical narcissist bashing. We sometimes get resistant to hearing all the things that's "wrong" with the person (or the feeling) that we've fallen in Love with, but to have the tools to remember who we are is empowering.

I love Terri Cole’s sound in her voice. She talks with such calmness and clear understanding.

Sensitive and intelligent conversation. I am taking notes to improve my relationship and to avoid hurting each other. Love is a good thing to enjoy and requires hard work. Thank you

3 mins in i heard her accent but wasn't sure, kept watching. 41 mins in and I'm convinced she's 🇯🇲.

I used to think he was busy because of his "demanding" job. Until people would say to me "oh I saw Laurel Gordon today" and I would wonder how he was in my community but didn't call or even stop by. Grateful for my new knowledge though.

26:02 they can be super shifty too when i comes to having a real conversation. They dont want to discuss.

I love Dr. Buque!! Glad to see her on this show. "The tea is hot!"

I love listening to your interviews, I always learn and gain so much from them. However, THIS session just might be THE most important ever. LIFE Changing LIFE Saveing LIFE Bringing ❤🙏 Thank you

Oh, sweet Lord. The behaviours we tolerate (especially as women). And the patterns, subconscious fears and self-defeating beliefs we allow ourselves to perpetuare....Fantastic pod ast❤

This was a great interview. Thank you! I've heard "The Seven Stages" before but really appreciate how it was broken down so clearly. Also, sometimes when watching interviews , it appears neither is really listening to the other, i really like how both of you listened to each. Will definitely be watching your channel.

Very much a survivor I'm a man 38 years in a very toxic out of a relationship now for 3-years doing great🎉❤❤❤❤

A women's social grp friend made me feel good about our pets, common community, common friendships then she started putting me down, being accusatory, trying to shut down my voice. She would have fights with her mother in front of me, I have begun to withdrawal and guard my conversations with her. Because I take care of her mother and offer support while her daughter is on vacation I have started to create distance to avoid DRAMA.

For anyone looking for that list: 7 stages of maipulation: 1. Love bombing 2. Hooking 3. Devaluing you 4. Gaslighting 5. Submission 6. Loss of self 7. Emotional addiction

I’m so glad I came across this video. I have been in the manipulating cycle with this person for 3 years and just realized it by watching this show. It was always my fault and I felt I could never do anything right. I keep trying to get that person I had in the beginning back. He was so loving and caring. He said everything I wanted to hear. He was so loving and then boom! He was set empty promises all the time just to get what he wanted. Thank God I’m in the process of breaking free. I’m stressed out at this point. And I need my peace back. The peace I had before him. Please ladies run before it happens to you. ❤

I really love this channel! There’s a topic for everything I need knowledge on. I also really loved Dr. Mariel for the great information!

These whole two hours were so amazing. I really enjoyed this episode so much❤

Thank you so much Lisa for making a channel that's for us and all these types of issues no one talks about. I have always watched impact theory with your husband. But your channel caught my attention because it speaks to me on a different level. God bless you both on how much awesome content you bless us with. I appreciate you both thank you😘❤️

Whew! This was so helpful for me. I keep pausing to take breaks and think about why I'm so "invested" in ensuring others are doing ok and that I shouldn't burnout on trying to help others before I finally decide to step back.

You can PRETEND that you're hooked and then see what will happen.

Interest and chemistry is true and healthy when the person replies honest things they know you might not Iike to hear, they put boundaries, they respect yours, they get to know you slowly and realistically not just like an idealization where they paint you perfect and godlike and themselves too

Maaan, I wish I could be there to sit, chat, absorb, and share with in this convo. Im sitting hear with my cuppa tea, feeling completely HEARD, UNDERSTOOD, SUPPORTED, AND EMPOWERED. By hearing EXACTLY whst I experienced, but hearing you apply the names and descriptions to what I witnessed, i no longer feel like I was missing the boat, im not broken, and tools to keep me from ever falling through that crack in the floor again! Thanks ladies. I WANT BOTH DR.'s BOOKS!

I want to especially say this can happen in friendships. Thank you for bringing this excellent guest on.

This happened twice in my life,so recognize it now. Usually the person is a narcissist. They also have con man type personality. Trying to get people to give them money or expensive things but they start out charming and love bombing. RUN AWAY if you start to experience this kind of behavior. They will dissolve and disappear if you don’t engage with them.

I have been wanting, waiting and your passion to share the knowledge is so appreciated. I am now not alone..insane and submissive. A person I never was or new before can now not just dream of freedom. It gives me a direction Hope that its possible to change ,own and love ME.

I love mariel! I dont have that often that someone is so extremly sympathic to me! She is so lovely and settled.💛

In my experience, the moody Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde demeanor of the narcissist is what keeps you hooked. They'll scream at you one moment then smile at you the next, and somehow the empath continually hangs on to the good times to justify hope in the future. We say to ourselves (despite all previous evidence) "They've finally heard me! They're being nice and we have a chance at happiness." Of course, once the narc is stressed, frustrated or irritable out pops that monster again. In my case, my undiagnosed unrealized and untreated NPD/OCPD mother was my first and last and most difficult narc to leave because it's human nature to want close connection to our maternal parent especially. At age 50, I have finally given up and gone no-contact with her. It was either that or suicide unfortunately, as she was a violent gaslighter too.

Not only is she brilliant and spot on, she is absolutely BEAUTIFUL 😍and classy. ✨

I must just be pathetic. This is my 3rd cycle of long term manupilation. He even said I was naive. I said please don't use this against me😔😔😔😔

If those signs come up relentlessly, I’m out.

These women are Awesome, Terri is so cool love everything she has to say she's a Powerhouse for personal freedom👍🏼🤩

This lady is the epitome of”to thine own self be true.” So much gold here❤

Thank you for these interviews. I’m 55, divorced twice. First husband was horribly abusive, I almost lost my life more than once. Took me a long time to escape. Second marriage began crumbling when our sons got sick; his drug addiction surfaced and I couldn’t rescue him and raise our sons and care for their medical needs. Been single since. Dating has been eye opening; so many things I thought I healed through, were triggered with each man I tried to connect with. The last one was a master of love bombing and breadcrumbing. I lost my balance and fell hook, line and sinker. I need to heal and grow before considering dating again.

Dr Buque you have the most soothing voice I’ve ever heard. Combined with your message, this session almost felt like a warm, healing bath.

Just one thing Lisa I heard you say that you heard manifesting means not taking action and that can't be any farther from the truth. Action is essential. It's not at all about hoping and waiting for things to happen.

what a lovely lady Dr. Buque is🥰😍💖🖤& so eloquent & knowledgeable..thx ladies💖

Thank you for the close insight from Terri Cole on the normalized expectations of women whereby boundaries are constantly crossed. For example, women engage in and are praised and accepted based on habits of self-abandonment and co-dependency.

This video became the nail On the coffin of the manipulator of my life for 10 years. Love bombed- too Many times. Gaslighting - since I met him 10 years ago. Submission- immobilised me years ago. Emotional feeding- that’s what happens every time we get back together. I was told last night that we weren’t even dating during those years. He fathered a child while I was seeing him and have asked him So Many times but didn’t get real Answer. Now he is back and told me the truth. Which triggered Me to see how affectionate he is to this child but never got close to my only one as a single parent. I have so many questions to feel reassured that this time it’s different. Instead during the two hours he went from gaslighting and da lying and became enraged and criticising me of being irrational according to him , while it’s just me suffering the pain and looking for reassurance. He couldn’t even give a safe space and wound even want to see my pain. He left in such dramatic way and left me feeling like I’m the crazy one who has made him rage. As soon as he left I grounded myself I just drove and drove away in the middle Of the night and by the time I came home I already know what to do. He is out of my life. I sent him a factual text of who I really think he is. He left in such a drama because he could see himself being so shamed by the realisation what he actually done to me. He told me we weren’t dating hence he could what he wanted to do and apparently I had to mind my own business. I don’t think he realised that he wasn’t doing himself a favour at this time. He knew he was exposed , he saw how he was enraged and I’m calm with my piercing questions and establishing her character and spreading it on the table. I think he saw a glimpse of it that he probably had a cognitive dissonance that I’ve had for years. He always have believed he is a very good man , very kind , and with high morals. He always have blown his own trumpet about these things. But last night came the final trigger! He is out of my mind and had an epiphany. He keeps knocking on my door and that’s he comes back again and again. But I think this time all his mask has fallen off! I saw him for what he really is. This video is just an amazing wrap to the empowerment I felt last night. It’s like a knife has been pulled off my poor heart. I’m so glad I finally come to this point. I have meditated, prayed and asked for any powers higher than me or my higher self if you like to help me in this and suddenly I just saw the situation as it is. Like Doctor said here, I tuned in to my body during the confrontation and asked myself is this really the kind of man I want to have in my life? Who can’t admit his lies even it’s all now in the open. To blame Me for how I’m processing my pain. To gaslit me that I don’t even have the right to be in pain. And got irritated by my questions which I specifically said I need to know the answers because I need reassurance. Clearly he couldn’t give me them and I saw a liar that I can never feel safe with. I always have felt him to a shifty like he was always hiding something. Now he has come Back and Literally validated me of my suspicions years ago. I ought to thank him and I’m grateful that he just confirmed I am not paranoid and that my intuition and guardian angels if you prefer are always looking out for me and never have fallen deeply for this man. He made a child with someone , which by the way turned out to be not his becaue the woman he had it with was even the biggest manipulator l. He has spent so much money in courts and in the end he doesn’t even have a child. He is just and unwanted party in a family of three. The real day turned up. Well folks, he got his karma quite immediately and living in it now. I am hurt but I’m less and less angry towards him because I see how he is serving his karma already.

❤Honoring Oneself. What are you NO longer willing to accept from another? Do NOT Lower Your Standards. Step Back. Walk Away. You're WORTH IT. Trust Me. Trust Your Inner Self. Trust God.

I don't like texting. I don't want to text anyone every day, and I don't appreciate this pressure to feel like I have to be a slave to texting.