You are totally right Brian. The more you try to push a man to be with you the further back he will go and pull away. It took me a really long time to realize this. So now I just back off and let them come to me. No pressure, no discussions, nothing. Try to just be happy each time they see u and enjoy ur time being with them that's what they really want and really want to see in you. Men just basically want happiness. Not someone bringing them down all the time. Maintain your own individuality. Be interesting and fun to be with. Do what you enjoy. Love yourself first and foremost. If it is meant to be it will be.
“If you are not the kind of wine they want, you handover the menu to them and leave the table “ 👏👏. You are every woman’s true friend who is feeling weak because of her emotions. Thanks for coming here 💐
thank u u i u u u u thank u u u u u u uu i u uthank thank goodness 😅 uusapan uusapan has ulit has always happened in japan 🇯🇵 this week i has a day of spring to day to come out in the day haha 😆 morning was that day to come and watch me sis in my love 😍 i i morning morning love.
Nah, they really won't, unless he's a simp, which girls won't ever truly love or respect. Any man with options or high value just moves on since he has options, we don't give mixed signals or confuse women. This isn't highschool
The one who left me confused and ghosted and reappear to me I ignore him now he just stalking me . Why not I am gorgeous he tought I'm so desperate to have him & csnt move on.
Thank you, Brian. Always looking forward to watching your videos. ”The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.” Bob Marley
bullcrane Kai I love this,the comparison of white wine drinker to a red wine connoisseur.Sometimes we wanted badly to be in a relationship that sometimes we forget our value and love the wrong person.
@@nardabramer he is out there for you, don't let the low class white wine drinkers distract you haha leave your heart free for him 💕 My previous relationship left me feeling worthless - he couldn't think of one thing he liked about me, laughed at the thought of me being considered pretty and ghosted me out of the blue. It affected my self esteem. After him I met a guy who looks at me like I'm the most wonderful girl he's ever seen, tells me I'm amazing and beautiful, treats me like I'm a fine wine and has asked me to marry him :) It just takes the right person to appreciate you, like Brian says though the challenge is finding him.
My red wine connoisseur left me...cause he needed to move in another country but seems like he’s staying... :) and I like him still, and he was having a crush on me for a year and all his friends knew that...and all that happened between us happened few moths while he waited for papers...so he said i Don’t want to hurt you it will hard for both of us if I go and you stay if it happens I’m going... and he really showed he’s in to me...but now it’s all in the God’s hands... destiny...
We will never be the “good enough” for the WRONG person. The person that’s meant for you will not ask you to change because you are enough just as you are.
This video was so valuable for me. The penny finally dropped, I’ve been trying to convince a guy that I’m worthy because he does really like a lot about me. But he told me he isn’t looking for a relationship- not in a convo about us just in general. I feel like if he really wanted me like that he wouldn’t have said that. It’s his actions that confuse me because he will do really thoughtful wonderful things for me and with me. But I think he just likes the girlfriend vibes and not the actual girlfriend commitment right now. Which means ultimately he isn’t the guy for me. Sucks so bad because is everything I want in a partner, like the only person I’ve met who ticks all of my boxes. I guess all but one, that he likes me enough to be with me. Harsh truth and a hard pill to swallow. I’m trying not to let it make me feel unworthy or destroy my self esteem but it’s proving very difficult. I know I need to invest all my energy into my personal growth and development. But this crush has felt so yummy and exciting for months and not having that now feels empty and makes life seem boring. But I know this is a side effect of my limerance for him. I pray it leaves me because I don’t want to feel this way anymore. If only he wasn’t the hottest man I’ve ever seen and kind and smart to boot. Oh well. Hopefully I’ll meet someone else who is hot and kind. I hope so because no one else seems worth it now. I’m so messed up lol but this video was very helpful for me to realise I have to let go and stop deluding myself. It’s bad for my health.
Here's the problem- he typically does not have the courage to actually tell her. Leading to confusion and indifference. He enjoys the attention to his ego. Guys- be honest with her.
I have been always asking him to be HONEST. Just say it already, don't try to sweeten it for me. Stop dropping hints here and there. Stop the ambiguity. Just tell me, and set us both free! Oof... F**k this first, I won't lie. I have been loving this man since I was 22, and by that time I was a war vet, alright? I wasn't a naïve little girl. I met him, and then after a few months I knew I wanted to be with him. I summoned my courage and told him: "I love you. I think you are the one." He said, "I won't lie to you. I like you, but I have never said to any woman except my mother that I loved her, and I don't want them to be empty words. Let's see for a little bit longer, if you want. I want to feel it before I say it." This brought tears to my eyes. I was a bit hurt, but I was impressed by his words. So we continued dating, and after a couple of months our love blossomed. We got married after three years. But, as I've mentioned, I had been through some tough military stuff, and it left me with a bunch of troubles. After our wedding I had a miscarriage, and, well... It was painful emotionally. He was attentive, kind, understanding. I went to therapy, I started taking antidepressants. Two years after that, I went back to school and started studying at a university. All was so well, until it wasn't. I have developed depression, and I haven't finished my degree. So a few years of jumping from a job to a job followed, and then I became so severely depressed, I couldn't work. Finally, after nine years, my doctor suggested I might have ADHD, which totally took me by surprise. But my brother has Asperger's, meaning that the genetic component is really strong, and the diagnosis have explained all of my life's oddities. The meds have been extremely helpful. Finally, I was climbing uphill. What happened next is so painful. My husband said during an argument: "I think I should leave." I was thunderstruck. For me, it came out of nowhere. For him, the years of my struggles have been the years of struggles, too. He said he couldn't make me happy. He said he didn't know how to "fix" me, and it made him feel helpless. He said he was resentful. Now, I have been through much stuff. I mean it. Nothing had broken me, but the man I love not loving me anymore... This is where I fell, and I cannot get up.
Yep...my bf and I clicked on the first meet, great date, and an awesome kiss at the end. It's been super easy for 9 months.. I am divorced after 16 yrs married, was single for over 5 before he came into my life 😊 ....I also dated some wrong men for me and had to set them free, it wasn't easy but all worth it
I knew he did not love me but sleeping around and using me financially then I changed the game. I played the fool, make him get addicted to me and all the benefits then dump him like a thrash when he needed me most, now he is going mad, I made myself his Karma.
High value women wouldn't convince the man to be with her. Remember that if they pull away, then it's not great love. 😉 Indeed, the right one stays. Anyhow, Let's be thankful that we are protected and being redirected to the best one. Stay valuable princess, you are a gem, a high price. 💙
I'm to the point where I am just tired and yes I take accountability for dating the wrong men. I'm tired of being the one that loves more, care more, reach out more, initiate more. It has took a toll on me physically. Now it's like I get physically sick to my stomach when a guy approach me. I just don't want to be bothered anymore. My mind and body has shut down.
I’m sorry ☹️ I know exactly what you mean though. I feel like that too sometimes. Like I have nothing left in me to give and the thought of another man trying to approach me makes me feel physically sick 🤢
cupcake sparkle- i’ve been where you are at. I completely understand where you are coming from. Like you are completely drained emotionally and physically and feel like if you give anymore....you are going to be eaten alive. Here’s my advice.....take a few (not just one) steps back.....BIG LONG deep breathe....give yourself some time away from “hanging out with anyone” (hint, hint....think you get it), whether that be a few days, weeks, or months (just make sure it’s not permanent cause then it will get to the point that it affects you negatively yet again)....however long you need cause it’s different for everyone....then lastly (but should be first) give it to God, the entire situation...release to God. Those steps worked for me.....hope it works for you too!! Best of luck!!
@@Digital-Donna thank you for the advice. I'm in a self healing and self love journey and I'm taking better care of my mind, body and soul. I'm nourishing my inner self and it has been going great. I have disconnected from everyone and it feels so good and when the time becomes open again I will only let nourishing people in my life❤️
Your advice has me rethinking my entire life !!! This is pure common sense, so common it’s hiding in plain view😂 You are also very knowledgable in emotional intelligence. You deliver this in a very funny and witty way. I find myself laughing at your humour and myself for not seeing obvious things in past relationships! 😂😂😂 In one video I wasn’t sure if I wanted to slap my ex or myself! 🤣🤣😂
Don't ever try to convince anyone of your value. As long as you know your value, you are not obliged to make anyone else see it. You just go with those who do. Hold your head up! It's not easy but you need to, don't waste time settling!
I love your comment about the more incompatible we are with a certain someone the more we want to make them like us. This has got to be a mind game and a complete waste of time.
I am going thru a very bad relationship, still in it actually, felt totally neglected, cries for weeks, after hearing all what brian said, i felt better, empower again, and before i know it, i didnt cry at all this two days, for the first time, i learn to know my value, you dont know how much you help me, thank you so much!!, Gonna search his books!
Men just fall out of like with us like that “snaps fingers” and suddenly after all the attention we are left going - wait where do you go?? Don’t come at us unless you are sincere please men! We are tired of being jerked around
I don’t know what makes men think it’s ok to mess with a woman’s feelings the way they do. I’ll never go out with a man I’m not physically or emotionally attracted to, but a man will pretend to be in love with you for sex. Chase you until he gets what he wants then disappear, leaving you hurt, broken, and confused. They’re so selfish. Then they move on to the next victim. It’s not ok.
I wish I’d seen this over five years ago, it would have saved me a lot of heartache. Although over time he did say he loved me occasionally, he always made me think I wasn’t the right bottle of wine he was looking for, otherwise he would have bought the wine instead of leaving his options open.
Yeah he‘s absolutely right, we should not waste time with people who are not right for us. But the problem is when you fell in love with someone and you know it’s not the right person, but you still love him, it hurts so so much. It’s the same with some „friends“ of mine, I know they‘re not good for me, but I‘ve known them for years and breaking up the contact after all this years is not easy. I really want to look forward and want to think I will find better people, who really appreciate me, but I just can‘t let go. Every day I see the picture of the one man I love in my mind and my dreams and he left me years ago. It never goes away, I just want that this ends... I even visited a doctor who said I have a manic depression and that‘s why it never goes away :(
Love the wine analogy, especially because I love white wine. Thanks for reminding us that there’s a connoisseur out there who will appreciate exactly the kind of wine we are 😊
I love this guy! He's so humble, has a great sense of humor and explains everything so well, I feel much better after watching his videos! Thank you, Brian ❤
Where has this man been all of my life! Every woman seriously needs to listen to this man every time they log into a dating site. Brian is a breath of fresh air!
Im so fed up of dating, each time I like a guy he runs away or friend zone me. Yes my self esteem is totally drawn in the gutter... I think there is no one for me an it saddens me a lot. Definitely there's something wrong with me
His advice always resonates well with me, it's genuine and caring. His tone is calming like that of a close dear friend. Thank you so much for sharing your advice with us. 🙂👍
Wow, you are my all time favorite relationship adviser! You’re so great at explaining things to us. I will make better relationships choices b/c of you. Thank you!! 🙏🏼
When i started 2 watch Brian is video's i changed so much for the good! Not only in a relation with man but also for the good 2 other people because i feel so much more connected 2 myself now a days♥️💯
I feel like he just completely described me there. Feeling that Im not good enough, because guys just curve and ghost me all the time. I even started asking my friends if they think something is wrong with me. I really needed to see this video, coz even I, dont see my worth anymore. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this!! I needed to hear this. I keep asking my bf how he feels about me and was planning on asking him if he thought I was "The One", but now I will just leave it alone, and stop nagging him about it. He already told me to please be patient with him and it will happen. Love your channel!!
When I meet my partner he had been separated from his wife 10 years no divorce now 6 years on she wants a divorce I said too him when you divorce come through we could get married his reply no am to old to get now I was really upset still am made me feel I am not good enough but now if he asks me no way thanks for upload x
This is the best video for those who feel abandoned from relationships down the hill.... thank you so much i downloaded this and play it over and over again
I agree, I believe Now that a man should see and appreciate a woman’s worth. I liked what Brain said about not wasting time with someone that does not show interest consistently, ghosting to me seems cowardly. But I finally get it, I should never convince anyone to like me or be in a relationship with me. Because if they can’t see how awesome I am then it’s truly their loss.
But sometimes you fall in love with someone you know isn’t meant for you. But you love them anyway despite all this. How do you get over that feeling? When you know you cannot go on without them but know personalities clashes all the time
In the same boat. I've tried throwing myself into work, my practices and routines before him. I've decided that either I'm going to 1) go on a date with someone I would never otherwise consider 2) do something absolutely terrifying think skydiving or for me, public speaking, to overcome the angst. Good luck sweetie!!
Unfortunately we can (& do) fall in love with people we cannot be with. I've had to leave 2 men while I was deeply in love with them, 20 years apart. Took years and therapy but I broke away.
I know this one i am in a relationship with someone who i feel was never really ment for me I love him but I feel I am forever trying to convince him that I am worthy sad but true
This makes so much sense! The right men will be attracted to the real me and all I'll have to do is decide on the one for me. I've tried with the white wine drinkers and need to focus on the red wine drinkers.
Pure gold, just what I was looking for, thank you, I know it is not easy letting someone you love go, but you have to respect yourself and let others to respect you as well.
Why are there so many dating coaches teaching women how to behave towards men?? Why aren’t there any teaching men how to win and deserve a woman?? Most men are utterly clueless!
🙋♀️ been there done that! Put a lot of effort into the wrong guy for me 😓 Basically just spinning my wheels with no traction. I stupidly Over invested in him/us and got little back in return 😕
Thankyou for sharing! What colour of wine has nothing to do with how good a wine is! It would be how it was prepared, formed, brewed, and how long it has been distilled: Thats what made a wine irresistably for a compliment! As far as meeting someone, or wanna start a relationship with someone? Its best to have the courtesy to respect that person! to feel like a prisoner in any relationship! Especially the one, that barely started with a few outings!
Gosh... you are one lovely man. Full of real empathy and a lovely way of putting out your message. I love your fairy stories relating to real life! Very artistic of you. And entertaining. Thank you for sharing your gentleman-like nature and understanding of relational dynamics. It is very encouraging.
Super analogy. Your delivery is warm, sincere, engaging. Obviously you have insights that come from a wise source or just experience. Either way, they are most helpful and very much appreciated. Maneuvering through the senior dating scene is most challenging after many years of life, kids and hurts. Love and the desire for it seems to cross all age limits and demographics. I shall continue to listen to your advice as I work through my own dating adventure which is loaded with many unusual but exciting circumstances. Cheers!
Well said! I’ve been on my dating adventure for 7 years now, after losing my husband of 30 years. I never realized how hard it is to meet someone you’re attracted to and compatible with. I’ve dated quite a lot and had some memorable adventures. I’ve been infatuated a couple of times, but always recognized it for what it was. And now, at 64, I’ve met a man I feel excited about. We had 5 dates before the lockdown and we’re still in touch. He’s not as communicative as I’d like, but I’m cutting him some slack because these are strange times and besides, most women have a greater need for contact. As long as he makes the effort to keep in touch, I will keep him around till this is over and we can date again. Years ago, I might have let him go because he wasn’t meeting my needs, but now that I’ve been out there and seen how difficult it is to find a man who even comes close to doing that, I will not be so rash. Let’s face it, no man will ever fulfill our every need or desire, so if you find a good one who comes close, don’t dismiss him over small stuff.
Brian, you’re the first relationship coach I’ve heard say this. Sometimes it’s made out that if you do x, any man will be attracted. But that is simply not true if you’re not his type. Or he may feel attracted but won’t go for it if he knows you’re not right for him. And I’m the same with men. They can be hot, interesting, pay me attention but I won’t date them if they’re not right for me.
Your advice is very spot on, it really helped me cut ties (hope this time is real) with my ex who has been on and off stringing me along for nearly 2 years..! Little had I known that he’s been devaluing me for the actions that I took. I believed his words rather than actions. My fault. Looking forward to your new (audio) books!
Thank you so much Brian! I love your wine analogy! So easy to understand. I like the idea of not wasting time trying to make everyone like us. Dating is a numbers game, I think once we see the person once or a couple times we'll know if we want to spend more time. We all must use our heads and multiple factors to arrive at this, so I'm in! Thank you for your time and videos:))
Oh what a great analogy! Hiirt has hit the nail on the head once again! The only problem is, sometimes that 'Me' connoisseur just isn't enough. What if we match in SOME areas, like intellectually, but are just not compatible in the bedroom? What do we do then? It sux! LOVE sux!
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO. THIS TOTALLY MADE ME DECIDE AND REALIZED..... MORE POWER. I wasted a lot of times by it they didn't see my worth. Self love is the best.
This is an amazing explanation..his correct, having no satisfaction to one person isn't going to get you someone better even if you date thousands of women/men. Playing games/ghosting isn't the real game it'll cost you zero likes after.
Well-said dear ! Every good person is not compatible enough for you and not meant for you. Life is not based on temporary pleasures and fantasies. It isn't a story of Cinderella. i watch your videos to learn about human psyche.
He’s like mirror , we are so compatible it’s stupid , we roll of the banter together, he says that I’m sick 😂. We both pick our nails , we both make random noises . We both do so many other things that are the same , we feel so at ease with each other . We both like the same movies music spiritual stuff food crystals the list is endless …
Brian, I really like your videos, but this one was particularly amazing. That's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you some much. You gave me peace of mind and lightened up my heart
We've all has friends who are conditional. This is about putting oneself first. Women tend to over give. I certainly have done this. I can say, it doesn't work. When we give something for free, others never value us.
