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@@margaretdelacruz4836 It works! My boyfriend started to talking almost only about himself, taking me for granted, not listining to my feelings and thoughts, helping his ,,female friends'' while ignoring me. Firstly I have been feeling sad, undervalued and unworthy but next step was to ignore him, don't check his social media and just move on to my life. After a couple of days, he started to wonder what's with me become more polite and soft. It maked me feel well but not excited and ready to put him on a pedestal - I know what I should do to maintain the state of chase.
So true...feed your craving with self loving activities...live with purpose....not only to please one person to have their love....REMEMBER...you are LOVE👸🏻💖
This is a very important lesson that I've learned this weekend thanks to your videos. I really needed to hear that. I am done chasing my love interests. I am a fucking catch, I'm the fucking prize, the gold at the end of the rainbow and I deserve to be treated as such! Update: met my new boyfriend 2 days after and we've been together nearly 3 months now :)
Recently stopped the "doormatitis"; so glad I did! Your description of the woman having not had a relationship for years perfectly described me. I had high standards & was not finding a man that met them. After 5-6 years with no relationship, I let my guard down & became the doormat. After 8 months, I put a stop to it. I know my worth & said enough was enough. A month later, he's back & we've communicated what went wrong. The "doormatitis" is gone & he knows it. So we'll see what happens. 🙂
Been single 6 years , learnt my lesson abt giving giving not receiving the same back, stepped back ,and now I see the signs of ego and control from manipulation, so I now know my worth and I love myself to much to be in that situation ,thank you 💜
Been trying to prove my worth to others for many years, now finally at a point of asking "Why don't I value myself?" Thanks for your insightful and empathetic video, Geert!
This describes my most recent relationship to a T. I didn't date for years ,I was focused on being a mom. I met a guy who treated me well, but was hyper critical of me. I tried to please him, and totally started not acting like myself. Eventually, he said he "needed a break from seeing me." I used that opportunity to lock the metaphorical door on him, and I feel much stronger and better about myself without him.
This is where online dating may be really useful. Even if you don't want a relationship at the moment, when you keep your profile up, you can see that there is abundance of men wanting your attention. Most people have a closed group of friends so when there are 1-3 single men in your group of friends, it's easy to start thinking "oh no, there are only 3 single men left, I need to hurry!". Online dating will remind you that there are more single men available than you may think, so it may help you adopt the abundance minset.
I find that when i put the least effort into making the relationship official, keep my option open, but still interested to know more about the other person, the dude always chase me so hard and they even ask me to be their girlfriend in around 2 weeks from meeting each other the first time. Btw i'm not that good looking or have a very high status, but i'm quite friendly with people in general, i care about my surrounding, but still do what makes me happy and live my life the way i want.
Yeah that happens to me and when it does, I see it as a sign of someone who is controlling and aggressive. Nobody should be telling me they love me or that they want to commit to me within weeks of meeting me. That is just pure infatuation and hormones making the man crazy. I love watching these videos! Brian is the best!
I started being like that by cooking and posting pics of myself so he could notice me...trying to make him see my value. This video makes so much sense. Thank you
This is how I proved my value. Early stage in the relationship we were at a local pub. We started to play pool, when a girl he met a few days back, walked in. Apparently he had told her next time I see you, I'll help you learn darts. Well no pun indeeded, but he literally darts right over to her and leaves me hanging by myself at the pool table. I just stood there in amazement, thinking, are you kidding. I made a statement about how rude and disrespectful he was. I said, now out loud to him, are you kidding? He made a few lame words. I interrupted him and said, with truth confidence, I know my worth. It was awesome 😊
It's not easy when you're married it takes a lot of faith to leave, but if you want make things work you are have to do a lot of compromising in order to make the marriage work
I really liked this video because it resonates with me. I was in a relationship for a little bit more than 2 years. Things started fine, but with time and distance, because we were in a LDR, he was not the same person I felt in love with, but, I was still blinded by love. At last part of our relationship, I was ready to give up everything for him, move to another country, start from the bottom, but, he clearly, was not in the same page. He blamed anxiety and stress to be rude with me, to belittle me, to critize my body, for speaking my language, and i was so heart broken. Finally, he ended things by text. Now I see, clearly how I lowered my value for someone that was not that great to begin with. Thanks for your advice
Hey Brian, I was sitting quite on my bed almost brokedown after i got rejected by my crush several months ago..I needed to talk about it with someone,and dint know how should I take it and move forward. Emotions can be so strong and painful. But then, your video notification popped up and I should say it really helped me get a clear picture on how "self-value" is so important for ur well being. Thankyou so much.
I got rejected last night. I cried my eyes out, in front of him. He said that it is impossible to have a relationship with me. He will never have feelings for me. I'm still hurting now. Trying to find myself back after investing too much and devaluing myself for months. Wish me speedy recovery 🙏🏻
@@chikarae17 sorry you are so 70set. At least you know the truth instead of wasting years on this person. Take the time to grieve then recover and learn from this. You have value. You will rise stronger. He was not the one for you.
Omg i just went thru this..kinda felt good for someone to be attracted to me. I devalued myself and almost..almost became a door mat! Luckily after a month i said no you're blocked!
Thank you Brian for these videos. I married a guy who broke up with me four times. Six months after being married he asked for a divorce. I knew the problem is me... diagnosis = Doormatitus.. you are raising me up..god bless
Your videos are so valuable, for anyone at any age of circumstance in life. Such a simple concept, but so profound for all humans, "how to value yourself" Thank you Brian, you're very valuable! I am reading your "valuable" books too!
You are amazing to listen to, I love your down-to-earth image and your incredible insights and wisdom. Thank you for the great advice, Brian. I love your videos!
Brian, I love your videos! Could you pleeeeeeeease talk about love bombing and how Narcissists use it undeliberately? I believe all women should be aware of it!! ♡♡♡
Narcissist use it deliberately!!!! There are way too many videos out there about narcisissts.. I personally have been involved with one.. and when you re hurt you search online and you find massive information. He talks about normal people, I prefer his style.
All your videos are really good - but this one is my story to a 'T'. Been alone for 8 years. Went to a music festival by myself and met a guy. I'm even a certified Master Gardener currently tending a large flower garden.... Had the reaction you described and laughed out loud when you said about her bedroom looking like a jungle. If only I could post a picture here. I'm in my 60's and I've literally been blown away by this. And then two days went by with no communication and there was my old thinking giving me a rough time. Your suggestion of asking myself what would I do if I valued myself, is one I can't quite answer yet because I realized I don't value myself as a potential lover - YET. It's so helpful when you have an idea of exactly how to apply effort in order to feel better. Thanks for the really good information.
I've been following you for quite sometime now but never commented on your videos... They're really profound and you go right to the core of the problem. I find your advice very valuable and it helps me a lot. So true that self value is an "inside job". Still I find it hard sometimes to say no when I really like the guy but I understand completely what you're saying about our feelings blinding us. This is the case for sure! Thank you very much!
Yes, I can see now that I have slipped into doormatitis. Thank you Brian, for bringing it to my attention. Running after 'the catch of my life' sure has become harder, the harder I tried(you made me aware of that in the previous video I just watched). No matter how much it hurts, I must remember to hold back. oh, that's gunna hurt! But when his work takes him away out of contact for weeks on end, how do I decide when enough is enough and open the door again?
This legit feels like he was watching my last several months and shaking his head in disappointment, lol. It made me feel like I was losing my mind as to why I suddenly felt SO bad about myself when I had just done so much work that I could be proud of. The mind is a weird thing sometimes.
Cannot relate personally, I’m living that single life and if anything my value is sky high. A little attention doesn’t sway me. I guess I’m more exceptional than I thought ☺️😏
I think I’ve suffered from Dormatitis for many years 😳 Thank you Brian, you always help me see things clearer than I have, I guess when we feel low value we accept attention even unhealthy attention we shouldn’t accept, in all aspects of life. 🤗 x
Very helpful as usual.i can relate myself to this☺️but now you change my perspective & make me realize that i should question my emotions first.Indeed self- value is an inside thing & one should take care of it.thanx again🌹
I totally get this...at theory level it all makes sense. Often, we are caught off gaurd and not thinking on these terms while trying to handle the new flush. So, how to prepare oneself and raise the EQ or sensors to apply this knowledge?
NO TIME = LOW INTEREST LEVEL 😭😭😭 What would it take for us to hammer it into our heads? 😂😂😂 Your CRYPTIC humor examples are sticky, Brian! Freaking awesome!
I like how you bring in simple terms the message that you share. Just found you on line today, and have listened to quite a few of your videos back to back while cleaning windows!! Made mundane work enjoyable!!