Mette de Brouwer what's the typical bitchy popular girl? Unless you are talking about cinema tropes that's so limiting to girls and doesn't make real sense
@@Greenrivers14 key point... money, not having to worry about it makes a lot of things easier. I think people who don't worry about money just worry about being happy...
I never thought of this. I have never realized her skin, she was just beautiful to me. But I see why this can be of meaning and I actually like that I didn’t realize it.
Agreed.... loved seeing a brown girl depicted as the hot one. This is also a lot of why I love The Mindy Project - for having a brown woman as the lead (aside from it being one of the funniest shows I've ever seen in my life)
That Margaret Atwood quote tho, "You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur." Why did she have to call me out like that?
Hannah Simone was the perfect casting choice for Cece. Gorgeous, but not afraid to make fun of herself. She has great range and comedic timing and even in this very show, her prowess is still overlooked due to her looks.
Yes! She portrays that stone cold intimidating model mode and then this goofy side that connects with Jess (and later Winston). I never doubted how Cece and Jess could be friends despite their apparent differences.
OH GOD YES I’m so tired of people saying she’s a boring character or that she’s not funny. She’s such a good character, has so much charisma on screen, so much chemistry with litteraly the whole cast and a generally super fun character to watch ! Not to mention her super cool character arc of becoming a business woman, that was one of my favorite plot lines from the later seasons :)
The fact that a bunch of women are commenting saying they relate to Cece’s problems and are getting told “oh poor you” just proves this entire video’s point...
Bc its true. Being attractive has its cons but try being ugly hun it looks pale in comparison. Its like saying "rich people have problems too" oh poor you. Society still treats them better period
@@shadehasbeenthrown1178 I don’t think anyone is saying it’s more difficult. Just that it can cause it’s own slew of problems. I’ve always been extremely socially awkward and so was my best friend. But she (and I think beauty is a social construct, this is just based off what other people thought) was less conventionally attractive. She had people take her under her wing out of pity because they could tell who she was. Whereas those same people assumed I just wasn’t interested in talking to them. That’s come up pretty often in my life. Where I think people just don’t like me, turns out they just thought I wouldn’t be interested in them. This has happened with both platonic and romantic relationships. Not saying it’s “worse,” there are just certain issues that not everyone seems to consider.
@@iampomegranates imagine trying to compare those two. "Boohoo Im so pretty that people get intimidated bc they want my approval but are too scared to approach me" meanwhile saying your friend was pitied bc of her looks. Again that's like a rich person saying "wait I got the wrong color Ferrari" while the person right next to them cant even afford a car. Maybe people dont consider pretty people problems (just like rich people problems) is bc its stupid? Its like the favorite child complaining about how much praise they get.Pretty privilege is literally why people dont take it seriously. Living life on easy mode while saying "I have problems too" to people who dealt with REAL shit like your friend🤷🏾 sis would you rather be intimating or be pitied on? Attractive people love to victimize themselves and it gets so repetitive. "boohoo boys only see me as a pretty face" like would you rather they say youre ugly instead? Bc there's people who go through hell about their unattractive looks everyday and youre complaining about little hiccups like people being intimidated
@@shadehasbeenthrown1178 a.) Wealth literally gives you the power to do literally anything while beauty is just about who is deemed “pleasant to look at.” Being “pretty” has not cured my depression and anxiety. It has privileges, sure, but it doesn’t give me the automatic ability to do what I want b.) When you say “real problems like my friend” you are commenting on a situation you know nothing about. I was dealing with a sexual assault and needed a friend to be there for me but she didn’t want to hear about it cause she was “not pretty enough to be assaulted and that fucked with my head. Don’t make up narratives about strangers just to make a point. c.) The fact that you think we should have to choose between guys seeing us as pretty or seeing us as ugly says a lot about you as a person. No one deserves to be reduced to a label based on their looks, no matter what that label is
@@iampomegranates love, beauty gives you power or else why else would the kardashians, VS models, and basketball wives be doing? Matter of fact what would all these insta models, beauty standards, and beauty industries do. you handed me a story about y'all being in a situation and i judged it by the info you gave me so stop pulling the "I was r÷ped my ugly friend didnt care" like I fucking knew🙄 you didnt mention it so stop acting like I said it knowing about it. Talking about me forming a narrative meanwhile you didnt give me the full context. No one deserves to be labeled but some labels are harsher than others and sorry but the "pretty" label isnt one of those hard/harsh ones ESPECIALLY when it comes with priviledges. Why donate money to a rich person with problems when you know there's poor people with REAL/WORSE problems
Let's not forget "pretty people" can also loose their loved ones, be attacked, suffer from mental illness, experience heartbreak, be fired.. the list goes on. But a lot of people will shrug at you and and say "whatever you are pretty"
It's also more difficult being a woman of color and also being "pretty" because you want acceptance in your career but sexualization and fetishization aren't the same as being accepted.
The part about being your own voyeur is so true. I used to be a "not like other girls" and now I see that I thought that not being so feminine made me better and more attractive to boys. It really is so tricky to be a young girl and not fall into toxic ways Edit: I'd also like to add how this femininity hatred that grows in us falls back to misoginy, because we feel as if being masculine and "closer to men" is what would shield us from patriarchy. You should be able to express freely who you are, wether masculine, feminine or in between, feminism should be about that
absolutely. I think most girls and women can safely say they had a phase like this, where they looked down on other women (usually for being typically 'feminine'). It takes a lot to grow out of that but it sucks that it's something we grow into at all.
Honestly same, in my early teens I dressed like crap, didn’t care how I looked and a bunch of other shit just so I could be “not like other girls” until I realized no one cared and I was just driving away potential friends with how aggressive and pretentious I was being
I don't think Cece and Schmidt got together because he wore her down. They had chemistry and a connection that she was trying to deny because he was such a dork with his "swagger". But he's a good guy underneath that facade and has a lot of heart. Both Cece and Schmidt are superficial to an extent and compassionate to an extent that is realistic to me. I don't think she fell for him due to the "macho man". That instance was more the fact that he yelled at her despite being beautiful and she liked that he didn't drool or dote on her. Plus, confidence is sexy in either sex. Cece was so great. She was a boss. She struggled with her image, societal expectations, cultural expectations, her fertility, her career trajectory and came out on top. She and Schmidt actually had a loving, supportive and respectful relationship and family. How come they couldn't give Jess a character arc as good?
Yeah but it’s not actually cool in my opinion to “wear down” someone who has expressed that they are not interested in a relationship. It’s so romanticized in movies and tv but in real life it’s creepy to pressure someone like this. Borderline stalker.
@@daliamartinez8967 I think you're overlooking her agency. Cece is strong and knows she's out of Schmidt's league. She had other prospects and wasn't just going to date him because he kept asking. She booty called him, had him wait in her car for her, and even snuck into his bed while he was sleeping. He said he accepted he had no control over their situation! Cece kept coming back for "just physical" reasons showed the complexity of their connection. For a while, it was more palatable for her to embrace her physical attraction than admit to herself she was into such a flexing dork. Schmidt has pretty crappy characteristics at first glance but his core is good. Cece and Schmidt both have substance and potential beyond their first impressions.
I think Cece had to get over her pride. At the end of the day, Schmidt is a pretty face, but he was a late bloomer. He was an ugly duckling and as he became handsome, he thought it would be the only thing he was judged on, which is what Cece experiences. In actuality, Schmidt is a big nerd. Cece thought her looks would catapult her into a different life. I think Schmidt taught her to humble herself, and ultimately by putting both of their looks aside, they were able to find someone who sees them for who they really are inside.
TBH as an Indian, I'm just so happy to see a character like Cece. It's uplifting so see an Indian not be the butt of the joke. She's the hot girl but also the mamma bear and it's awesome and fun.
My grandma once told me that "Being a pretty girl in a world of men can never hurt you, unless you're both pretty and smart. In that case, they choose to see only one of things in you."
The good news has once again come to you today. You can inherit the kingdom of God even if you are a sinner.. after all we are all sinners in God's standards of justice and holyness (he says that if a man looks at a woman with lust he has already committed adulterly with her in his heart NO MAN IS THAT PURE😅).....All you have to do is to honestly humbly pray repent turn away from sins (read the10 commandments) and trust that Jesus for his love❤❤ for you he left his throne in heaven and came to the world he was humbled humiliated betrayed beaten and killed for your sake to pay the fine of your sins and mine so that we won't spend our eternity in hell but with him in heaven...this might be the last time you read the gospel...Look around🔥🔥 be smart..the end is nigh🔥 ..He is coming back soooon not as the sacrificed lamb of God🐑..but as King of Kings🤴 the judge of the whole world..Your soul is on the line😭😭. Eternity is a long time.
I was chatting with a friend about suffering from depression, and she said "what do you have to be depressed about, you're beautiful?" and I remember being hit by that, because I'd looked at other beautiful women and thought that I would be happier if I looked like them. Whilst I was doing that, apparently other people were looking at me, thinking the same thing. Haha, I even had a psychologist ask the same thing to me when I was struggling with suicidal ideation. This idea that beauty or money will make us happy. We all know it's a lie, but we don't know what really will, so we continue to subscribe to it.
If you go the the doctors about a physical health complaint but dont wear makeup or dress up nice they just assume you are depressed, if you are depressed but you dress up nice and put makeup on then they wont take it seriously.
I'm sorry that happened to you D; I would've walked out of that friendship. Your friend should've been more empathetic about your situation. That's as bad as saying "You have no reasons to be depressed". You don't need a reason to explain what you're feeling. You have icky, sad emotions and you want advice with dealing with it.
You guys are lovely :) I had depression for 17 years, and I would go through cycles of thinking I was better, and then denial when it came back. So I started thinking that it would be my whole life, considering my first suicide attempt was when I was 7. But in the last 2 years, I discovered that I was just really lonely, and despite having lots of friends, I didn't know how to connect with people genuinely. Since figuring that out, it has been a slow and steady road to recovery. I share this because I want you to know that recovery is possible, and that life is so satisfying on the other side :) let me know if you need someone to listen to you.
Reading some of the comments once more made it clear to me that women often are so harsh on other women due to envy. Quote: "God, I need therapy because after watching thing this video it still made me mad. Wow, you are so pretty it's hard. I wish I had that problem." They completely devalue any problem a woman might encounter because of her attractiveness. That is unfair. And preaching female empowerment while disrespecting the issues these women face is hypocrisy at its best.
kshamwhizzle also, beauty is sold to women as an ultimate goal that achieving (through consumerism of course) will bring perfect happiness. Seeing a women whose beautiful but unhappy and even resentful challenges notions that have been ingrained from an early age, which I think is why some lash out.
I'm also disappointed that other women can be so cruel. One of my best friends is "hot," and quite honestly, I do not envy her at all. She constantly has to worry about whether people take her seriously. I've also seen the way men treat her, and it's horrifying. She constantly has to question whether the men she's dating actually like her, or if they only value her looks. I'll take my average-looking self any day of the week! Misogyny pigeonholes ALL women, even those who are conventionally attractive.
also, totally missing the point. All women are sexually objectified at a young age under a patriarchal system. It's the same issue manifested in different ways.
But I think that just shows how fucked up our world is. The majority of people may not be incredibly beautiful, but they are still beautiful. But even a small deficit can make you a victim of bullying for some idiots. Conversely, it is exactly this exaggerated attention that beautiful people get, which is also simply wrong. And what is really fucked up, Jess is considered the less pretty girlfriend. I can understand both sides. If you're jealous and you say to yourself, uhh~ the problems I'd like to have (you see the same with thin and thick people. Jealousy and lack of understanding). But that very pretty people are only human in the end, is just a fact. I think it's hard to see behind that, because we have been lived by examples(family, media, friends) all our lives. Jealousy is nothing bad in itself, it's just that you can't really change your appearance unless you undergo some kind of surgery ... and I think that is what makes this kind of jealousy so difficult :/. As someone said above. Life is not black and white.
I've never seen myself as pretty. I'm not conventionally skinny or what people perceive as curvy these days, so I never got something for my looks. In High School I saw most of my classmates getting things because there were pretty and knew how to use it. I hated it. But I went to University and met one of my best friends there. She is one of the prettiest women I have ever seen. I was so jealous of her, not only because of her looks but because she is also kind, intelligent and driven. It was a "why did she get the full package deal" kind of jealousy. I learned very quickly that it isn't fun being overly beautiful. What I mean is that I have never witnessed more catcalling than walking the streets with her. Men run after us, sometimes more than one street. People fall madly in "love" with her, just to fall out of it when she puts her brain to use. She gets the most sexualized text messages on a daily basis. One old friend of us recently texted her confessing his "love" saying he wants to "touch her body like a butcher does with his meat"...... And if I learned one thing that I am grateful that she is my friend and whenever I get a phase of jealousy, because some days I'm just down, I tell her and she reassures me of all my talents. When she gets insecure I do the same.
This is an admirable friendship. I've always had issues with jealousy. I was often envious of my best friend because she could do everything, she is intelligent, beautiful, hard working and often got better grades than me and more awards. When I was younger, I honestly didn't care. But when outside people like my parents kept comparing both of us and highlighting her achievements in comparison to my failures, I became horribly jealous. And I hated myself more for it. I almost destroyed a part of our friendship because of it. But then I just stopped caring about what my parents said and focused on myself. Now, I can proudly say that whenever she achieves an accomplishment, I'm the first one to congratulate her and tell everyone bc I'm so proud (without any jealousy) of her. And she does the same! I think in our society, it's way to common to put woman against woman rather than bringing each other up. Its even prevalent in societies or clubs made for women to bring each other up
@@ranjinina5786 Your friendship seems really admirable too. And I think what you wrote is true. We're so conditioned from basically birth to view other women as threats and I don't even know why. And I think to some extent we, as women grow up not questioning it. For me it was a case of being told: "You will not get far with being yourself. You should start fitting in." I couldn't fit in. I didn't want to. So I despised the girls who could easily fit into pretty, quiet and uncomplicated. Looking back I guess everybody somehow hides their own pain.
I'm struggling with something like this as well and I'm learning how to go beyond it and stop comparing myself with this friend, but it's definitely hard
Seriously! I only started watching it recently, and I honestly can't think of more than two other US shows that contain such a good level of healthy relationships, funny dialogues, good romances and character growth in general!
It’s a real mindfuck going from the ugly kid to the pretty one. It happened to both me and my boyfriend, we were both late bloomers. I think that’s why we understand each other.
Totally understand this comment. I was the the ugly duckling in junior high. People would walk up to me and tell me I was ugly. Then all of a sudden I’m in eleventh grade and everyone including classmates, strangers, and even family members would walk up to me and tell me I’m so pretty. I thought they were making fun of me. It’s a huge mind fuck. I only started to believe the pretty comments when my friend (who was always pretty and always received compliments) and I would go shopping or to night clubs and people men and women would compliment me on my beauty and not her. That’s when I thought maybe the compliments are real. 🤷🏾♀️
I didn't go from ugly to pretty but I went from looking like a twelve year old boy to an attractive adult woman overnight. At fourteen years old I was 5'3" and hadn't managed to reach puberty yet. Then I hit a growth spurt, gaining seven inches in one year reaching 5'10" and developed hips and chest in about a six month period. My face also matured pretty suddenly. It would have been nice to have a longer adjustment period. Going from looking like a child to looking like an adult in six months is too fast.
OH MY GOD, I thought that i was alone! i still have confidence issues because of my teenage years. BUT now i know i'm "pretty" and i'm also worry of being over sexualize (especialy bacause im a woman of color) and people use me as just a body. Being a woman is SO HARD that i'm probably gonna die single
Oh absolutely. I still wouldn't say I'm superhot, but going from ugly to reasonably attractive was hard. I got into a few very uncomfortable situations with guys, because I didn't realize they were attracted to me. I did not recognize it, because it had never happened to me before, and was too open and friendly because I assumed they wanted friendship, not sex.
Few comments: 1) I don’t think Schmidt “wore her down”. They were both into each other and she tried her best to deny her feelings towards him, even when they were sleeping together! 2) I don’t think the guys saw Cece for more than her body, JUST because she was unavailable to them. I think that underplays the complexity of the all guys’ character. 3) People downplaying the struggles of beautiful women is very real and still very ignored. Take Megan Fox for instance. She’s spoken about her issues being type-casted and objectified from a young age and feeling neglected by feminists themselves. In an interview, she spoke about how Micheal Bay made her dress inappropriately at 15/16, but the audience and host laughed and joked about it. Everytime she tries to speak up about the inequalities in Hollywood, she’s shut down by men AND women saying she couldn’t possibly have struggles just because she’s pretty. We should be coming together to fight the oppression, not oppress others!
I'm so glad that these days people are caring more about Meghan Fox. She really went through some awful things and even though she doesn't say it openly I think she really appreciated the resurgence of Jennifer's Body and the new outlook that people had on her and how unfair was the way she was treated at the time. ESPECIALLY by Michael Bay
*Please talk about close platonic relationships between women and men in film and television and the pressure inflicted on them to have a romantic relationship instead!* Examples: Natasha and Steve from the MCU, Olivia and Elliot from Law and Order, Ellie and Paul from The half of it, etc. How society views platonic relationships as just a building step for a romantic relationship instead, and somewhat forces us to view them as such to the point we can even start to confuse our own feelings when we're faced with similar situations and believe we're ~in love~ with the other person. Like, yes we love them but not in that way. Add in: I know they kinda touched on the topic in the Phoebe and Joey vid but I think a more in depth vid with different variations would be great xx
One of the drawbacks of being good looking, that frustrates me, is that it's sometimes almost impossible to form genuine friends with opposite sex. I don't consider myself 10/10, miss world or whatever, but often feel that i can't be completely myself around my male friends (almost every one of them i found out is into me) and just chill and enjoy my natural femininity - because my gestures, my words, my actions are often misinterpreted. So around my guy friends i have to be on the guard and it is fucking tiring sometimes. Being part of male-dominated subculture doesn't help either. Nothing more pathetic, than a guy who sees you as his Manic pixie dream girl.
Girl same, I’m rlly friendly and at my old school almost every dude thought I was FLIRTING. It’s so annoying having guy friends who are actually your friend and then you start to notice the changes... I hate that 😔 makes me feel like shit once they form romantic feelings bc then I need to reject them and then it’s never rlly the same.... unless they’re rlly good friends :(
Same! I am pretty and I am also weird, but I am NOT a manic pixie dream girl, let alone yours. I have an inner life and I do not exist to make you feel more alive or to turn you into the best version of yourself and then die. Jesus.
I love this so much! It's not possible to talk about this to your friends or anyone really without seeming conceited. I've always had good guy friends who always ended up developing feelings for me which then made me feel like they didn't appreciate me for my personality but just wanted me for more than that. For a while I just believed it means men and women can't be friends. I also think that being pretty does pidgeon-hole you a lot. While it is fun a lot of the times, it also allows people to assume you're stupid and one dimensional. the amount of TIMES a man has told me I'm smarter than I look is mind-boggling. Anyway, I really don't think being considered good looking is that great. It's just as hard as for anyone else to find a compatible romantic partner, especially cos a lot of the times they only want you to push their own ego or to show you off. Also, they often simply assume you are already in a relationship. ANYWAy, as everything in life, it has it pros and cons, it just is the way it is.
You know you're being a good feminist when you can see through the sufferings of pretty girls even when you're ugly. I'm so thankful that this is the type of feminist I am because it was a long journey of introspection and observation. The pretty girl was born that way...she can't help it.. people think that pretty girls are mean and I was those people and everytime I see a pretty girl I can see her confusion about what she did wrong that everybody hates her or what she did wrong that her relationships are never filled with love and all her friends are superficial and even though she has so many friends and so many guys around her she is lonely and she probably doesn't realise any of these.
I have some sympathy as they are more seen as objects. They may have an "easier" time in aspects of life, but ultimately they're not seen as people to society. It gets muddier when attractive women commodify themselves and lean into it (via becoming influencers, sugar babies, trophy wives).
@@somethingcooliguess exactly. They're just conditioned to believe that the only thing they can offer is looks and that's what they do. If they start complaining about how they're objectified and fetishized even women would ridicule them which is really sad. At the end of the day women can't get away with anything. They can't be girly, cant be masculine, can't be ugly, can't be beautiful.. and it's just the greener grass on the other side that makes women fight with women.
Yup. I’m ugly, but I felt bad in hs for the pretty girls. A lot of them were bullied by other girls and the guys were kinda horrible to them too. It must suck.
Exactly! I wish more people were like this. Honestly those naysayers who say "boohoo you pretty person, your problems aren't real because you get more attention" disgust me. Megan fox feels like modern day feminism has no place for her because of people like this, she was constantly made out to be the witch just because she was beautiful and always played the hot girl in movies, completely oblivious to her frustration at constantly being objectified and typecasted and not having any depth in the characters she was signed for. She even spoke up about Michael bay being a pig and asshole but "feminists" didn't give a damn because according to them it was her fault for being that hot.
@@rorococo. yes, people like Megan helped me grow..I am a Taylor swift fan and what she went through solely for being a tall skinny blonde woman and how much sexism was normalized when it came to her opened my eyes a lot..and following her journey of growth also helped. We're conditioned to believe that male validation is all we need so when women attract a lot of men we think that they're accepted but sexual attraction isn't the same as acceptance and people need to know that..
@@corina.grindeanu well of course. no duh. we need to empower women of all ages to stop listening to society but its easier said then done when its so integrated in society.
Do you guys noticed how Hannah Simone and Lamorne Morris ,the only two POC were the only two cast members of New Girl who did not get more oppurtunities in Hollywood despite being in a hit TV show while Jake Johnson and Max Greenfield went on to have other good projects and people kinda forgot about the other two and well Zoey Deschanel was already pretty famous before and after New Girl.....i feel so bad for both of them especially Hannah Simone....she was so good looking,funny and good actress and yet she doesnt gets more roles....what more do you want from a POC actor
I am being humble when I am telling you that I am the most powerful strongest coolest smartest most famous greatest funniest RU-vidr of all time! That's the reason I have multiple girlfriends and I show them off on my channel all the time! Bye bye rh
Ultimately the friendship she has with Jess is the foundation of her ability to build real social connections. Bottom line: Women need the support and acceptance of other women to genuinely thrive.
There are also the toxic friendships that are supposedly platonic but there's a hidden agenda lurking under the surface. Or just everyday wondering if someone is being nice just because they want something from you and expect some kind of favor in return. Or having non image-related accomplishments and successes belittled by people who assume you only succeeded by using your sexuality. Or people being angry when you show them up because they want to be above you, and they start actively working against you. Appearance of any kind is never something that ONLY makes your life better or worse, there are always aspects of both. And it doesn't define you even if others define you that way
There's also the bullying/sexual harassment from people that are attracted to you, that's particularly pointed towards the "pretty'. It was rife when I went to high school.
Can I just say that I absolutely love The Take 🙌🏾The women behind this channel are so intelligent and insightful, this has easily become one of my favorite channels💕
I once found out my boyfriend was bragging about how hot I was to my female friend's husbands, and telling them things like "you know you want that" to show off that he had the thing (me) that he assumed other men wanted. I dumped his ass for that shit. It felt horrible and disgusting. I would never wish that on another woman.
Omg I got chills from your comment... I never thought of it like that before. I’ve so desired to be the pretty girl that I’m most likely going through with plastic surgery next year. As if I’m the product to be tweaked and improved...
@@LunaVioletta7 I, the Internet Stranger, am in no way authorized to tell you what to do with your life, but I will tell you this: you are most certainly not a product. If you were, you'd never be able to grow and transform and reflect and feel things deeply...and that's the beauty about being human and always unfinished.
I’m a “pretty girl” especially after high school no one takes me seriously...Im the ditzy cute one, been called dumb “it’s a good thing you’re pretty”...by mostly other girls...it’s degrading...I chose to move far away become a stay at home mom in a small town...I only have a couple friends... now I don’t have to deal with it as much but my husband likes to joke around sometimes it brings up the hurt 😕 he doesn’t understand...
@@sofiabravo1994 I hope this is not weird that I'm responding to this but i just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear that and I hope things get better for you in that regard. I think you maybe should find/ befriend someone who you may relate to or who may understand your struggles and talk it out with them. However ultimately I think you may still have to talk to your husband about how it makes you feel. Especially how it hurts you and as your husband its discomforting to know that he's not taking it seriously and at the end of the day, reminds you exactly of the things you try to avoid. I don't know the relationship between you and your husband neither is it my business but I do think for your sake, especially long term you should let him know. seriously. All the best.
It bothered me how little agency Cece has in her story lines especially in later seasons. She was a great character and deserved better. (So did Winston Bishop but that's a whole other conversation)
I know, I hated how they made Cece into more of a static, passive character later on. She and Winston were the only people of colour in the group (well, aside from Coach, if he counts), but they seemed to be overshadowed by the other characters. 😔
@@trinaq Definitely in the first season. They got much better with Cece 2nd season on, even if most of her storylines were attached to what Schmidt was doing. Winston doesn't really blossom and get storylines until S4. But wow does he steal the entire show from those seasons on. It's so obvious Winston was originally just a token too. His personality is so bland in S1/2, and he's entirely different in the following ones and is so charming, hilarious and unique. Wish they had this inspiration from the get-go.
@@Ray03595 he for sure has flashes in the 1st two seasons (singing in the car on the way to mexico, cheating on shelby in his mind, prank sinatra at cece's wedding) but god was he so much better in the later ones! if he was like that the whole way through i's have absolutely no qualms about calling him my number 1 fave. as it is he's still number 2
pretty girls are very proeminent to be bullied at school. sometimes a girl is generally hated by every other girl apart from her own group of friends, but people use their prettiness as an excuse to justify scrutinity towards her saying "theyre pretty, its impossible for them to be bullied" even if they are, in fact, being bullied.
Damn, my sister was bullied *because* she's really pretty. We transferred to a new school and all the popular girls instantly perceived her as a threat. I was bullied for being ugly. That school sucked.
OMG THANK YOUUUUUUUU SO MUCH FOR THIS COMMENT I ALWAYS SAW SO MANY COMMENTS OF PEOPLE SAYING THAT PRETTY PEOPLE CAN NEVER BE BULLIED AND BEING DISMISSIVE OF THEIR EXPERIENCES (OR SAYING THEY MUST HAVE HAD SOME SERIOUS PERSONALITY ISSUES) I FELT REALLY SAD AND DISAPPOINTED WHENEVER I SAW THOSE COMMENTS IT JUST ACTS LIKE A WHOLE ANOTHER TYPE OF GASLIGHTING WHERE YOU START TO QUESTION YOURSELF AND GET EVEN MORE HURT THAT NOONE WANTS TO LISTEN AND BELIEVE YOU. YOU JUST END UP SHUTTING UP AND NEVER TALKING ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE IN THE FEAR THAT PEOPLE WON'T BELIEVE YOU AND THINK YOU ARE A COCKY LYING BITCH I'M SO GLAD THAT THERE IS AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON WHO UNDERSTANDS AND CAN VALIDATE MY EXPERIENCE. IT WAS HONESTLY HORRIBLE AND LEFT A HUGE SCAR IN ME. I STILL AM NOT OVER IT, AND IT WAS EVEN MORE HORRIBLE THAT I WAS SCARED TO SHARE WITH ANYONE AROUND ME WHAT HAPPENED IN MY SCHOOL YEARS MY WHOLE LIFE. Sorry for writing in caps, I was just so glad that I found this comment
@@brookeshields0619 yeah im actually suspicious that the "mean hot girl" trope (regina george etc) actually comes from the misogyny of people thinking that a girl being attractive or rich gets them being seen as shallow and 'crazy'. it comes from people hating on 'prettiness'. not saying these people dont exist, but the way people see them, its like "pretty girls" are the worst people in the world.
Definitely this. Sadly it happens all the time and nobody wants to address it out of fear of being labeled conceited which is rarely the case. Many attractive people have their insecurities as well from people trying to bring them down for so long.
It's sad when that happens to you but no one takes you seriously. I think media and movies have created this narrative that a good looking woman is always evil. She is always portrayed as the nemesis of an average looking woman. We are supposed to root for her downfall.
@@trinaq or neither, where are you MY MAGNIFICANT UGLY IDIOITS I absolutely ADORE you all! healthy reminder that you don't need to tear yourself apart for something you can't change, obviously that is not easy but i believe in you it can be done, that's what society may want to do and that is hard but if you know you are fabulous, then YOU ARE. don't let them control how you think of yourself. and if you can't do that's ok but just know your face is a face, and it lets you smile and it holds your mind, and also that appearances never define you where you like yours or not.
I’m so glad she got to be complex and relatable. I really love that we got to know her and it’s nuanced vs the typical “the pretty girl gets humbled by the one person who rejects her”
I actually don’t think the problem with Cece having so many unavailable men was because of her looks. It’s because of attachment issues stemming from an unavailable parent(s). An insecure upbringing doesn’t care if you’re conventionally attractive or not. If she had grown up with generally healthy relationships modeled in her earlier years, she would know to pick healthy ones in her adult life. It doesn’t discriminate.
I think it's both. There's an underlying subconscious knowledge that when you're taught that beauty is everything, and you are lucky to be beautiful, that if you were just a little bit prettier, these unavailable people would be available. Whatever other reasons they may or may not have for rejecting you/not being available, it always comes back to the fact that you know deep down none of that would matter if you were just pretty enough and you'll start hating yourself for not being pretty enough even when everyone else thinks you are
Holy shit! I literally have been blessed by this video. I’ve always felt this way about her character which oddly is so grounding to see that pretty girl stereotype has its own set of flaws. And I’ve been binging on the show since last week and finished it 10 mins ago. So the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
Eternal life in heaven is a free gift from God. No human being deserves it due to his/her good works. We have all sinned and fall short in glory of God(eg.Jesus says if any man looks at woman with lust he has committed adulterly with her in his heart..No man is that pure😅). So how did God give us this free gift🤔? He sent his only begotten son to be betrayed,humiliated ,beaten and die as fine/payment for our sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Since he is a just God and has to punish sin. All you have to do is humbly repent of all your sins(read the 10 commandments) honestly turn away from them. Believe in/trust that Jesus did that for you. Confess with your mouth that he is your lord and saviour..You will be saved from hell🔥. The holyspirit(his omnipresent spirit) will in dwell within you and convert your cold heart of stone into that of flesh that can truly love God and be a slave of righteousness and not of sin. This might be the last time you read the true gospel of salvation..look around 🔥🔥 the end is nigh. Please don't reject God's gift. Your soul is on the line.Jesus loves you❤
I was a really REALLY ugly ducking. But since I was 16 I get paid to look good in athletic wear. It’s hard to be ugly. It’s hard to be pretty. Can’t say which is harder honestly. In my life, society has treated me as either a leper or a whore. Maybe society ought to start treating people with respect and compassion no matter what they look like.
I don't even mean to dismiss you or anything but it's kinda of like too bad that some might just:(not my words but someone else's words): say "people are shallow live/deal with it"
I didn't grow into my features until my mid 20's. It was crazy how differently with world treated me. It was like living on a stage, and not by choice. Now as a mid-thirties wife and mother that perception is reverting. It feels like I'm becoming invisible again. Honestly as an introvert that suits me just fine. But its impossible to pretend that my experiences in the world aren't framed by my outward appearance.
Has anyone had experiences where the fathers of boyfriends become really happy to see their son with you (or see you with a beautiful woman) and become almost too involved in the relationship? It's hard to describe but I've seen it and experienced it. The father starts spending a lot of time on your social media and acts bashful around you and takes it especially hard, even becomes hostile when the relationship ends? It's almost as if they were living vicariously through their son. Like maybe they think that if their son could get a girl like you, he could have had you when he was younger. It's the weirdest thing but I've seen it happen to others. I just don't know if it's common enough to be a known phenomena.
Ali Rosa I’ve never heard about this, but I understand 100%. It’s SO creepy! It’s like one step away from the father making a move on you, which I’m sure has happened to women before.
I've seen this trope in media a lot too, but I'm not sure if it has a name, usually happens during the meeting the parents trope and if the female counterpart is attractive the father always says something that is over the top
This was so accurate. Without sounding conceited (because unfortunately we’ve been conditioned to deem women acknowledging their own beauty as such) thank you for helping me to understand my own aggression yet passivity in my personality and how internalizing this idea of being beautiful as the most important thing about me, because I was taught to do so, was so damaging as a young girl and how it’s affected me as a 26 year old woman. I know some might perceive this video as some “woe is me, I’m so beautiful” bs but as someone who has dealt with health issues that affected my physical appearance thus giving me the experience of “both sides” for lack of a better term lmfao the whole pigeoning women into the beauty category without allowing them to explore the other parts of themselves is sooo harmful. When my beauty was “taken away” from health issues I was shocked at how low my self esteem was, I didn’t even realize how much subconscious importance I placed on physical appearance. I think it’s great to talk about these things and give women the tools to acknowledge their beauty while also exploring and developing themselves in other ways. :) TLDR: Thank you for validating and articulating what I have been feeling for many years yet was hesitant to discuss openly.
Can't believe some of the comments on here... like some people are actually sharing some of their stories on how differently they were treated because of how pretty they were, and how they felt how they couldn't trust anyone because they didn't know if they loved them for them, and some people are just shitting on them. Like, they never said that they suffered more than non-attractive people, so stop attacking them for that. You complain about people judging non-attractive people for their looks; maybe you shouldn't do the same. And I'm sure that they were really excited when they saw a video about their issues, which NEVER gets talked about, and then comments their story, hoping for some sympathy, or someone to feel less alone, and then they GET THIS. Women should be loving and supporting each other, not tearing each other down. We don't need any more hate in this world. To whoever is commenting these awful things: You are the reason that this hate exists. We've all been through some type of hate through our looks, and we shouldn't be belittling each others experiences just because we feel like they are smaller. We should be lifting each other up, and rooting for each other.
It really resonated with me when they talked about how guys are only interested in hooking up and no one really likes her for her. I think only one or two guys I’ve dated actually liked me for me aside from my appearance. Also in school being a skinny, petite, blonde, I was violently bullied and harassed by the heavier girls all throughout my childhood. Being the “pretty girl” is nice sometimes, but also hard. Especially when you’re a kid and you don’t realise that you’re cute and people just make you feel stupid and ugly out of jealousy.
Suggestion for future video : The crazy Latinas trope It’s not so much a negative or positive I think it’s empowering when a strong Latina (really any women TBH )is on the screen and speaking her mind and then they are labeled as crazy latina
If we went with this definition of crazy Latinas, every single Latina would be crazy. Because we’re “too passionate” “too sexy” “hard to handle”... dudes, chill, we’re just humans.
I hope Hannah is given more roles in the future outside of TV. I genuinely enjoyed her character Cece as well as Lamorne’s Winston, especially their friendship on the show 😊 from the first season she’s a model, who parties and didn’t really have a path and on the last season she’s a career mom happily married and owns a home 😭 you love to see it.
It’s so true that if you’re more attractive it’s easier to make friends with males once you’re taken than with women still. Which I find super backwards. They don’t see you as prey anymore so you can actually have a friendly relationship with them. Which is great but I wish I could have it without it...
This video just confirmed some things I realized a few years ago. I remember reading an interview of an actress were she said that one of the disadvantages of being pretty is that people don’t think you’re smart. I realized that sometimes the prettiest girls are not taken seriously because they are defined solely for their looks. I’ve always been a little insecure about my looks because I had the idea that when you’re really pretty (I mean like, astonishingly gorgeous) your life is easier socially, romantically and professionally (which it kinda is, as the video shows). But as it turns out, it can also be a burden because people don’t expect much else from you
I think there's also something about the fact that Cece is a conventionally beautiful South Asian American woman, an intersection of race and gender that is widely fetishized and often hailed as "competition" for white women. Or in this case, a juxtaposition to Jess's quirky, awkward character.
Uff! Loved this trope! Hardly no one ever talks about this. How pretty people are very often reduced to just their physical appearance and nothing more, even if they have much more to offer that just their looks. They only talk about the privileges and nothing more.
I don’t know how to say this without sounding vain, but in some ways having others see you as very attractive causes them to make the assumption that you have a great life, no struggles or issues, or anything. I’ve had so many people assume that I have it all or even tell me that I’m spoiled, vain, or privileged and I don’t know what it’s like to struggle, simply because of my outward appearance. What they don’t know is that I have been severely depressed for years, been hospitalized multiple times for that, also dealt which physical health issues, severe pain, surgery and further hospitalization (which probably saved me from getting cancer) not to write a sob story here but it’s really difficult to deal with invisible health issues every single day when people assume you are absolutely fine just because they can’t see your struggle.
I have high functioning Autism, when I was a teenager I suffered from depression and I also was born with a chronic illness. Yet people have assumed various things about me simply because I'm pretty, and I literally used to hate girly things simply because I hated to be thought of as shallow. I understand you completely.
Ugh!! I feel the same way about invisible illness. I was pretty healthy as a kid but during my teens and in my early adult life my medical issue shot up like crazy. All the medical issue I have are rare, I have different symptoms then most people or I don’t react to react to treat well at all. It’s so frustrating trying to find a doctor that really takes me seriously and doesn’t think it’s in my head ( happened multiple time, completely pissed me off and proved them wrong ever single time). Unfortunately for me my medical issues are like an onion, I finally figure out what I have, get a treatment plan going, getting better for a couple months and the bam another medical issue comes out of nowhere. And the cycle continues and it really have mental messed me up. I haven’t felt like myself in years and it’s hard to connect with newer people around my age. Maybe because I feel more like a 90 year then mid 20s. But I’m so glad I have god in my life a great family and friends who understand me. But sometimes I hold talking my medical issue back because it feels like it’s I’m always complaining but I really don’t have anything else to talk about because this is really my life now. Praying for you to get better also and find new people in you life that you connect to and they can understand your life. 🙏
PREFACE: I'm a very ugly person. END OF PREFACE I'm very glad this video came out, because it made me understand how and why even acctractive people can have a lot of insecurity issues. Are these issues more or less serious than an ugly person's issues? IT DOESN'T MATTER. No one ever stated in this video that "being beautiful is harder than being ugly", girls. It's just showing that, in some cases, especially in the modeling/showbusiness industry, it CAN be hard and it can cause a LOT of problems in: - social life; - self respect; - self love. Yes, we really ugly people face a HUGE quantity of problems in our social, sentimental and professional lives. Many things that normal/pretty/beautiful people take for granted are unreacheable dreams for us. A stupid example? The perception of our DIGNITY, or even the freedom to FEEL of having one, that's the most important thing in our civilized concept of "person". It's really hard. So really hard. HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that we have to ignore that beauty (especially for women) can be a heavy load to bear. Not only for what the others may think/demand of you, but for your own perception of yourself. This video is very interesting and explains a lot of things. Thank you. It's like belittle rich people's issues, because being poor is harder. This attitude is really not ok, guys. We really shouldn't always make a list of humanity problems and decide what is worth attention and pain and what is not. Pain is pain. Struggle is struggle. Just be sensitive enough to choose your friends and people who you may want to speak about them to.
I want to add a disclaimer about "conventional beauty"- ie, what we think of as "beautiful" is really just a set of socially-ingrained standards that are really quite arbitrary when you think about them. But I'd like to commend you for your remarkable self-awareness and open-mindedness. As someone who's conventionally attractive (again, pure luck that what society has deemed "attractive" happens to line up with my genetic makeup), it always feels like I don't have the right to complain about anything ever. I'm barely exaggerating. I'm harassed nearly every time I leave the house (though this happens to all women at some point, regardless of physical beauty), and have been followed, drugged, attacked, harrassed, raped, etc multiple times. I've also been told, "well, what do you expect, looking like THAT?" I could be wearing ill-fitting jeans and a men's flannel short with no makeup, and I'll still hear the same old line. This basically tells me that by existing in the body I was born in, I don't have basic rights. If I have the nerve to walk around with a pretty face and long legs with a 28" waist below double-D cups, then I deserve what I get. And on the rare occasions when I do feel unattractive- maybe I'm bloated or have an acne breakout or just low self-esteem- I hear "oh shut up, you're gorgeous, you have nothing to complain about." But if I say "you're right, I am gorgeous," then suddenly I'm full of myself and a complete bitch. None of this is to say that beautiful people are the only ones with problems, because that's obviously not true, and they have a lot of privileges that go along with it. But the pressure of "you have to put all your effort into being beautiful, at which point you will relinquish your human rights, and never under any circumstances may you ever acknowledge your own beauty" is exhausting.
@@raem7846 Oh my god, dear, I am SO, so sorry! You know, harrassment is another thing I could think of, as a dark and serious "conventional beauty" problem, after I typed that comment... I mean, we ugly women get harrassed, too (I was, at least three times, it was purely horrible, so I just can't even imagine how does it feel to feel like this every day). And what you said about being constantly judged about anything you say about yourself, ugh, it must be exhausting. People can be so dumb and cruel. That'another big difference: we who do not know what it feels to be beautiful, don't even think about how OTHER PEOPLE'S ENVY can be toxic and suffocating. I also think that what you bravely described is something that concerns, unfortunately, womanhood. Not always, of course. But mainly. And that is a society issue that we are, we MUST slowing be, changing. And the more appalling thing is that women are usually the ones who say stupid, ignorant and cruel things like those you went through (bitching about your self esteem, "what do you expect looking like that", etc). I mean, look at many comments in this section. And it's so easy to say "ignore what people tell about you", but doing it is terribly hard. All I can say is I wish you the best. Hang on. Be proud of your face, of your beauty, because is a nice and WISE thing to do! It's part of being alive. And of being capable of living it all. Try to start ignoring (or, as we Italians say, "send to take a shit") the mean and the envious comments. Focus on reality as much as you can. ... But I know that's so not easy, sometimes. I wish you the best and send you a virtual hug! ❤ P.S. Unfortunately, "ugliness" is something that really goes over the "society standards" line. It's part of our instinct to have a taste that includes at least a healthy appereance. So, obesity, few and weak hair, ugly teeth and a back hump are not the best ingredients to be attractive, for example. But even in my case (see how curious is how we both can experience awfulness in a similar way) cruel comments are my daily routine. Even from my own family. So I'm learning to mind just the people that know and love me, too. And so many terrible things and thoughts happen constantly to an ugly person. Every hour of the day. Isolation, bullying, depression, injust labels of any kind. Even the lack of freedom to feel the basic "youth" feelings. I won't go in detail, but trust me... it's a torture. The moral is that we all are broken souls. And we must try everything to feel close one another and undestand each other. And I felt your enormous pain in your words. I really wish you can get rid of that negativity that surrounds you very soon. ❤
but he didn't wear her down? she wanted to be with him from the beginning and it was all a big push-and-pull. she fell in love with him again while he was dating around and once they had decided that they'd just be friends.
@@cassierxse It's a little of both. I think she realized he loved her when he made the speech at the arranged marriage convention. She loved that he loved her, and then she got tired of looking for other guys to fall for her. Especially when she decided she was ready to start a family and he was just there waiting for her. lol.
@@monabohamad2242 But he was settling for someone who never stopped treating him like she was too good for him. Another trope I'm completely done with: Visually flawless woman marries goofball and makes it known that she's *tolerating* him.
It’s the most loneliest feeling when people only see you as pretty. Everyone’s projection is forced upon you. You are wanted by many and loved by none.
I feel like I have the worst of both worlds. Pretty enough as an adult to deal with men that try to objectify me and sleep with me, and many women hate me, but because I grew up ugly and bullied, I have the self doubt and awkwardness that makes opportunities not present themselves to me the way that pretty people normally get perks because of being more superficial and outgoing. So basically Jess but more sexualized than Jess is, and I have no close girlfriend because they betray me all the time despite how nice I am. I’m so sad, I just need a genuine friend and a genuine partner 😞
can relate, especially the part "grew up ugly and bullied", becuase now i turn heads around and my boyfriend tells me how most girls a superficial of theier looks and to confident, i have a good balance of confidence and good heart and aint uppish. But yeah, had so many times when a girlfriend of mine would be jeleous and feel threatened by my looks in front of theier crush/boyfriend despite that i have a boyfriend since 6 years and show no interest in men. And well men that objectify and wantr to sleep with one is sadly too common fpr every girl, and it has nothing to do with the clothes you wear
I feel ya. My whole life, I haven't been into "girly" things (whatever that means, because as I see it, if I'm a chick and I like RoboCop, that should make RoboCop a "chick flick", right? Who determines what is and is not "girly"? Am I less female because I don't have stereotypically female tastes? Doesn't that mean that the stereotype is wrong, not me? And besides, I still like wearing makeup and watching Sex & the City, but I also like red meat and action movies and whiskey and cigars and comics and sci-fi (which is inarguably girly anyway), and just why the hell am I obligated to reconcile all this with the shape of my genitals, anyway?), but towards the end of high school, I was going through some stuff which caused me to lose weight and suddenly I was "hot". All my life I'd been bullied for liking the "wrong" things- Star Trek, Marvel comics, fantasy literature, etc- but then in the late 90's- early 2000's, the things I was into suddenly became popular and mainstream, and everyone started calling themselves a "geek" when what they meant was "someone who follows pop culture trends" (which is actually the OPPOSITE of being a "geek"). Now, I suddenly found myself that hot chick at comic conventions who gets dismissed as a "fake geek girl". Random dudes like to quiz me on my "geek cred", not realizing that they have no authority over me and I don't have anything to prove to them. I like what I like, and the fact that the world finally caught up with that is what it is. But the fact that the bandwagon-jumpers now exclude me for being "too pretty to be geeky" are definitely the same people who would have bullied me in high school for being "too geeky and not pretty enough" is reeeeeeally aggravating.
There are genuine and friends and partners out there, you have to not settle and also watch how they treat people when they think you're not watching. You can know what people are really like that way.
I know the feeling. As someone who as a child was always the fat one, because of problems at home and as a result of that also in school, I was always the ugly fat one ... I went through a lot in my life and still suffer from eating problems, despite ongoing therapy. Since I left school, I have had some relationships with men who wanted to save the 'little cute mouse' (yes, someone once said this ...) with some really good looking men. And every time I was afraid that I was just a placeholder until something prettier, more interesting came xx. At the moment I'm at the point where I already refuse flirting, because I want to learn to get along with myself to finally lead a relaxed life >
So glad I stumbled across this video! I’ve always admired Cece’s transformation bc it was literally just her owning herself and being confident in being multidimensional like you stated. This was so relatable and eye opening. I’m going to watch New Girl again for the 3rd time bc it’s really the best show lol
I don’t know if anyone will see or if this is even the right place, but does anyone have any advice on how to stop putting so much value into your own appearance? Watching these videos has made me realize how much importance I’ve placed into being pretty and how I’ve almost made that my identity and life goal, but it’s not healthy. I’m terrified to age, constantly monitoring my face, always comparing myself to others. I’m scared to get older and lose what I’ve based so much of my identity and value on. I’m afraid men will stop caring about me and that if I do find a guy, he’ll leave me for a younger, hotter person as I age.
If u can afford therapy I truly recommend it to u, it'll change your life forever. Feminist groups also help a lot, idk how old are u, but if you're in university you'll most likely have groups were to talk with other women or study groups where u can start study about feminism, there are also other groups on Facebook, etc. If u tell us more about yourself, maybe we can help more.
Amy Ortega Thanks! I’m 18 so still financially dependent on my parents and they don’t believe in therapy (stupid, I know), but I think my university has free therapy open to its students so I may check that out. It’s just that this type of thinking has ruined how I see others too. Everyone I see who is more attractive, immediately becomes a threat that I’m jealous of, which pretty much ruins potential friendships becomes I’m overwhelmed by envy. I want to be the pretty one, and I know that’s so stupid and everything. I’m not even doing this for myself. I just want to be pretty so men can find me attractive which is such a toxic mindset and probably rooted in some sort of thing I need to sort out. Sorry for just rambling and venting about this.
@@bananahat3350 It's totally valid to feel that way. I've experienced it too where I feel as though if I'm not seen as a 'pretty girl' by someone else it devalues me as a person. I'm only a teenager, yet I've already started dreading the idea of ageing because I've only seen myself as 'the pretty one' for so long that when you take that away it feels as though there's nothing left. I would look into that free therapy or maybe just talk about it with close friends; if you're worried about them thinking you're 'shallow' for caring about these kinds of things, just know that by being completely honest you'll feel better about yourself as a person (as opposed to a beautiful object) and maybe even discover things about yourself that you didn't know before. If someone ever tries to tell you that your problems are somehow 'lesser' than theirs over something as trivial as how you look, then maybe they should be the ones reevaluating their viewpoint. Sorry for ranting but this is a sensitive topic for me lol
Idk if you‘ll see this, but something that has really worked for me to be okay with myself and the way I look was to find joy in ugly things. For example pieces of clothing where you go this is so hideous, I want it! And that makes you be less scared of potentially not looking good cause there is some sort of satisfaction to be found in not looking the way society has conditioned us to idealize. You might then lose the fear of „turning ugly“ This was a bit incoherent I’m sorry Also maybe try to list things about yourself that you like and value apart from your looks, the way you look don‘t define your character, as looks are always fleeting, but what you like and dislike, your hobbies, your friends, the things you enjoy, your opinions that does define your character and those are things that yes will change over time but mostly things that will evolve into something deeper and richer as you grow older. What do you like about yourself? What makes you happy? And regarding the fear of losing a partner, if you have someone who truly loves you, they will find beauty in everything about you. They will radically accept the things about you that you maybe don‘t even like and they will love them and find beauty in them. I don‘t think a relationship where your partner doesn‘t see the beauty in you no matter what you look like is worth striving for in the long run... A good way to stop comparing yourself to others is to maybe compliment them in your head for example if you see someone with gorgeous hair don‘t go „god I wish I could be that pretty“ rather go „I love her hair, good for her!“ this is really hard, as it‘s hard to change a thinking pattern, but after some practice, you might find that you have stopped comparing yourself and rather just accept the way other people are beautiful as well Idk if this helps, but for me those were some experiences (especially the partner one) and ways of changing my thinking that helped me disconnect my self esteem from the way I looked
A thought that i like is 'thinking' (for me knowing) we are all created equal and no one has the right to call someone ugly. I don't have the "right" to call someone ugly, neither has someone else to call me ugly.
I've been on both ends of the spectrum: pretty and ugly. I don't look like a model, but I guess I am pretty enough to get some attention from other people. Both have had their downsides, but being pretty made my life so much easier. I hate being sexually harassed and getting creepy messages on social media, but it has been so much easier getting jobs, and people are so much nicer to you, overall. Women are always trapped at both ends of the spectrum of looks, and both have their downsides.
So I am a 24 year old girl and I totally relate to this, especially since I’m now older. This past year I’ve noticed I’ve been given so many perks because of my beauty but I’ve also been attacked because of it. I’ve had men think I was unintelligent because I am beautiful, I had a man recently tell me hes “going to let my ideals pass” because I’m a “babe”. I’ve had trouble making female friends because they believe I am a threat to them. This seems to be more of an issue the older I’ve gotten, Men never spoke to me in such a manor when I was younger.
I’ve modeled for 7 years and let me tell you...after the ridicule and disgusting judgement and comments made by men and mostly women it broke me psychologically. So much so that it triggered a mental illness and I’m now on medication and in therapy. I’m finally finding myself again and not the version that everyone else places on me. I care deeply for others and I always wished people, especially other women, would give me a chance. It’s been so hard to meet friends that don’t turn on me at someone point. I had one friend who told me to cover up more because I was coming off a “certain way” to men. It was heartbreaking because I didn’t see that coming from her. It’s really lonely honestly. And dating is so much worse. I’m 27 single and have one friend.
being told "you're so pretty" constantly also makes you very, very self conscious. Contrary to popular belief, most pretty people are actually quite insecure because when you have something good, you're afraid to lose it. I'm pretty sure I have Body dysmorphia now. I also feel you on the loneliness thing- in high school, most of my friends' boyfriends and crushes were into me so after one point, they all collectively stopped talking to me. No confrontation, nothing, just a "we cannot trust our boyfriends around you" text by one of them on instagram and that's it. I was so close to their families as well. They continued to be with their boyfriends though so that love must be real, just not real enough to be friends with an attractive girl. It's okay though, I'm finally starting to work on my goals and if things go well, I might be starting at my dream uni soon. There's hope for all of us, I wish you well!
I freaking freaking freeeeeeeeeakingout love how you're bringing me video after video of positive and nuanced female character explorations. I feel wiser and kinder and I'm super grateful for your detailed analysis of my own gender portrayal and viewing experience. Legends!
@@Fififashionista27 I was gonna put that in my initial comment, but had to step away during the middle of typing and forgot to amend it before hitting send. Also went back to rewatch her scenes to analyze her mom and lexi.
so true she is a truly sympathetic character and her life is shaped by parental dysfunction. cece is just a shallow girl who got to enjoy both being a party girl and got to pick a responsible male at the end.
Anything related to New Girl and I’m going to enjoy it. Thank you for bringing attention to Cece! This show was honestly Cece and Schmidt’s story, it just took Jess to move in to get there. Loved this. :)
As a former model myself (and now managing athletes) Cece was my fav character on new girl the one i identified the most. Of course it was all exaggerated and kind of a caricature of what is really like to be a model, but thats what was funny to me hahaha the russian girls being weird tho...thats true for most of them =x although my best friend was russian too, so that might say something about me as well hahaha
@@raem7846 i’m not sure what trope op is talking about the trope you’re referring to is “pretty ugly girl who becomes pretty”, not necessarily the ugly girl trope (who i assume would stay “ugly”)
@Hip Sis I have worked with lesbians who really didn't seem to like women very much. Surprising, I know. A tomboy type, maybe resentful she couldn't have straight women? It happens. They can really be bullies.
Yea I wasn’t a fan of that line. They didn’t just see her as more than a hot girl ONLY BECAUSE she was unavailable to them. I think that really downplayed the complexity of the guys’ characters.
I had a friend who used to be a popular for a period in high school after growing up awkward. She would spend an hour every morning putting on make up and she felt compelled to do this because people are constantly judging her. Unlike the invisible kid she used to be, she was always noticed and talked about, so image was everything. I'm technically a "pretty" girl but I grew up unfashionable and awkward. I would say my facial features are cute but I felt more like a tomboy than a girly girl, and until I become fashionable I had people calling me ugly. When I realized that me being a tomboy to conform to a false dichotomy, and thats not who I really was, and that my unpopularity was due to a lack of learning social skills and not me being inherently different from my peers, I became more interested in how I looked and acted and my life improved. What we learned is that American culture is super toxic no matter your standing. It's way too clique-ish and judgemental, and relies too heavily on media tropes instead of understanding people for who they really are. Your social status does not prevent you from this. We are reduced to two-dimensional caricatures by others and put them in similar boxes. It's messing with our perception and our actions.
@@MissMiserizeyou shouldn’t care what you looked or acted to fit in with your peers. You should care because that’s who you are in your core. Those who are dear would not want us to change our core identities.
This is a great video I’m very interested in beauty in a sociological and sociopolitical sense and studying how it relates to power historically and presently specifically for women. This is a great video that shows this on an interpersonal level. Beauty has often been women’s power and also a danger in the same exact way.
Please do one on on the idea of "involuntarily celibate" community or "Incels" A co worker and I have ongoing dialog about this tipoc. I believe it is a choice to become part of the incel community based on refusing to become a better version of self and still being too self-righteous to become what others would find attractive. I believe anyone can be attractive if they are willing to be honest with themselves about why they aren't being their better selves. She thinks my argument is only for people who are already attractive or desirable. She believes if you aren't loved for exactly who you are and you have to alter yourself than its not real and those people are not worth being romantic with anyway. I would love to see an analysis asking "Can involuntarily celibate persons become socially attractive by reframing themselves while still holding onto values. And should they be mad at society for feeling like thy have no options for romantic partners?
I agree with you. They expect things from their partner that they aren't willing to give, which is one-sided and selfish and not the traits anyone would want in a partner. They seem entitled, defensive, and like they want all the power so that they don't have to make themselves vulnerable. I like the way you worded it a lot, about it being a willingness to improve themselves to be a better person, so they are doing it for their own benefit, not just putting on a fake show to attract someone for a little while. That is a key difference in motivating someone with that mindset. They need to recognize the need to change for themselves or they will resent the need to change coming from someone else. Very insightful. I understand what your friend is saying about acceptance but they are approaching things with a chip on their shoulder which will lead to an inability to compromise, communicate well, and grow. It seems they want all the control in the relationship because of their insecurity. How do you form a partnership with that kind of manipulative, abusive dynamic? It's scary how fast that community is growing, so addressing it would be smart. I like your approach.
I would recommend for you to skim through the videos of HealthyGamerGG. He's a psychiatrist and has regular discussions with streamers about their mental health and provides general advice. He had a few self-proclaimed "incels" on his stream so maybe you'll find some worthy argument in there. I would note though that mostly his solutions are case-based, he tries to understand each guest individually so you can't just generalize his advice for the whole red pill community.
I would love to see this analyzed. My ex-boyfriend is an incel and our entire relationship I tried to understand why he chose to portray himself to the world in such a grating and unflattering light. Why he refused to listen when I offered my opinions on issues he'd already made up his mind on, things like that. He still send me depressed drunk texts about how no one wants a relationship these day, it's hard to tell him that it's because his personality is hostile and off-putting. Thank God, tomorrow marks a year since I broke up with him.
Please keep making more content like this. It feels so good to watch such a comprehensive evaluation of characters from our favourite movies and tv shows. keep up the good work guys.
oof i feel like i can relate to this so much, i wasn't raised like a pretty girl because i wasnt, my "charm" as a kid was that i was super smart for my age. once i got out of hs i kinda lost weight and started dressing well and it was such a hit to my self esteem when i saw how people stopped caring about what i had to say only to care about how i look. and this impacted me negatively a lot in college, with a LOT of professors i had to put double or triple effort to show that i actually had ideas in my mind, valuable ideas, because they'd see me and they'd see eyeliner and lipstick and nothing else, or at least thats what they made me feel like. it's so problematic that people still see a pretty woman and think that they don't care about anything aside their looks.
Being the pretty girl struggles are definitely overlooked. Because well you're "pretty " you get dismissed on so many things that deal with intelligence. People just assume your dumb.
Thank you for making this. I’ve always thought to myself it’s like I have all these applications coming in and the only expectation for me is to constantly stamp yes or no on them. I started thinking, I want to submit my own applications sometimes, and go after what I want for a change. This summarized that entire concept for me. I watched that whole show and didn’t realize why it exhausted me so much sometimes. Awesome awesome video, keep up the great work :D
