Nick Hancock's Football Nightmares 

my most watched VHS of all time - thanks for the upload

GOAT VHS. Nostalgia through the roof.

The 3 down votes were all from Peter Devine

4:38 “A long-through ball. The number 11’s on it. He’s clear.... he’s clear.... he’s clearly a twat!” That’s one of my favourite quotes in this video! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Had this on VHS as a kid, watched it over and over... Noah Hickey is a legend!

Fantastic defending here from the Great Crappo

Used to watch this constantly on video as a kid! Bringing back memories

"This is the first time ever George Best has turned down a shag" 😅 I had this on VHS 1st time I've watched it for 15 years + Nick Hancock was excellent at this, very underrated presenter. I used to love 'They Think it's all over'

My kids were playing a game I never heard of the other day called “what time is it Mr. Wolf” and I was instantly transported to Scotland Zaire 1974. “Zaire’s defending of free kicks was based on an ancient game of “what time is it Mr. Wolf” between Congleton and Hull.”

Genuinely hilarious video, there isn't a better football video thats ever been made. Hancock's comments and his delivery of them really are superb.

5:10 "Who does he get to celebrate it with? An extra from The Sweeney with an umbrella" - Spat my drink out laughing at that. Bloody awesome.

Watched this a million times as a kid. Peter Devine.

Who’s here before or after listening to the Quickly Kevin watch-along?!

What a goal by Dalian Atkinson. R.I.P

"Look left....look right.....look like a prat"

10:30 - this part used to crack me up as a kid Ripley, Hendry, Crossley, badly! ...lonely

“He’s clear, he’s clear, he’s clearly a TWAT!!!😂

God I watched this so many times growing up on VHS

Ripley, Hendry, Crossley, BADLY....Lonely 😄

This is a perfect relic of the "if you want to see crap football, you have to buy a vhs compilation" era. I must have watched this a hundred times when I was a child. I feel the gay joke is justabout ok as I imagine it's the reaction anyone would have if someone gave them a lift and put their hand on their leg. More uncomfortable than disgusted. The words "Peter Devine" cannot be said in my mind in my own voice. It turns into Nick Hancock's voice without fail. Edit: I am a bit upset that with the French football being cut out, we lose "and he has the misfortune... of being Roger Cook" The "3am in Tonga" joke has somewhat rang true, what with 12:30pm kick offs to accommodate China and Thailand etc.

This was my favourite VHS growing up, got it on DVD now as well but so happy that so many people felt the same about it!

Me and a school friend got this vhs free on the front of total sport magazine. We used to quote it over and over

Watched this so many times as a kid. The Nordic dancing gets me every time

More white hot Ulster League action. Superb. Shame this hasn't got the crazy French Ref?! Used to watch this VHS all the time. Cheers for uploading.

"I said "Stoke?" He said "yeah!!" The delivery is magic.

Thanks for uploading! Great memories watching this when I was younger, and great memories of football all those years ago.

A Stoke city game being rescheduled for broadcast in a foreign country but not in the UK. A throwaway joke on a football bloopers tape in 1996. But a reality in 2022.

Have a go shag, he’s off his line. That line hit me like a ton of bricks. I forgot about that line but I used to love it when I was 12 watching this.

Thank you so much for posting these, childhood memories

What a throwback

Man I really appreciate you uploading this, I used to watch it on repeat when I had the vhs as a kid in the 90s

I love you for uploading this. Pure class

You are a legend for putting this up. I also used to watch this when I was younger.

Yoooo the memories 🥰 poor Peter Devine

10:33 - Crossley, badly, lonely - LOL 15:32 & 21:38 - the defenders picked their spot and didn't give their goalkeeper a chance 27:09 - The most bizarre save I have ever seen 30:40 - Adding injury to insult 37:56 - They've seen more of the ball than Carlton Palmer did during his England career - pure gold 42:30 - Has the goalkeeper who scored this fantastic goal ever been identified?

What ever happened to Nick Hancock? He was a great presenter on They think it's all over.

Thanks for the upload. I had this on VHS and the nostalgia is sweet.

Loved this with years. Funniest comments ever made about football. Hancock was indeed on fire for this. Always come back and laugh as hard as the first time. Brilliant.

Got this for Christmas when it came out and loved it. Only just remembered it as Port Vale (yes I know Nick is Stoke) are playing Carlisle, who have got a player called Devine. And who could forget that Peter Devine penalty from this video!

I used to watch this all the time on vhs when I was a kid. Huge sense of nostalgia watching it now!

Thank you for this! I have it on vhs but no vhs player. Used to watch this as a kid, havent seen it in decades

2:25 “Look left….. look right….. look like a prat!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

so pleased to see this i loveddd watching this as a kid

owned this as a teenager great memories thanks!

I used to have this on VHS, great upload. 👍

Amazing uploads. Now just need to find an upload of ‘and Smith must score’ and the 90s vhs nostalgia is complete

My greatest vhs of all time. Nick Hancock was brilliant

Amazing how despite not having watched this since I was in like 1999, I can still remember "he's clear ... he's clear .... he's clearly a twat!" and "it's bad enough having to look at Steve Ogrizovic's face without being asked to look at his arse"

"He's clear... he's clear.... he's clearly a twat." Simple but brilliant.

36:39 Linfield v Glentoran Nordic Dancing is a thing of beauty

I wonder why so many people watched this as kids?? I used to watch the VHS religiously too even though I had and still have absolutely no interest in football lol. I guess I enjoyed hearing him talk so passionately but not having a clue who any of the people he was mentioning are The bit about Dave being gay plays a bit differently now mind. Times move on I guess

Loved this. Cheers!

I've still got this on VHS somewhere at my mothers place. This was pretty much the best blooper reel to come out. Watch the Neil Morrissey one at your own risk (footballers behaving badly istr). Good memories =]

Childhood every weekend in a nutshell ❤

RIP Dalian Atkinson

I lost count the amount of times I watched this on video when I was young. One of the best Christmas presents ever. Am I imagining this or are there some parts of this video missing? Maybe my memory is playing tricks on me or i'm getting this mixed up with another video but I could have sworn there were some more bits in the VHS I had.

Grrr can’t believe they cut so much from the original vhs version!

omg i stole the vhs from my geography teachers collection way back in 1998. jesus this was gold

20.45 Random Geordie fella, "wadda say man"

trip down memory lane, a favourite on our school football trips. anybody else get the vhs free with a copy of 4-4-2?

This Version is missing some bits. Especially this goal at the end. I am 99% sure it was on the VHS version but not this. One of my favourite parts of the video. but basile boli om-psg 1993

Saw a sign for Stoke Poges on the road, that's what brought me here.

2:25 "Look left. Look right. Look like a Prat!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Quickly Kevin brought me here

I had this on video as a kid

Pure Class

Thanks for the upload, I used to love this video (VHS) as a kid!! What was the other one called?

Superb ❤️

How come certain bits were cut? I presume copyright, but I thought I'd ask...?

Chilaveeeeee-eeeeeeeeerrrtt goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllll

Thanks for uploading. Many Saturday mornings would be wasted watching this. How did you converge this to digital? I have a few vhs from that era id love to have on demand (fantasy football league etc)

great shout

Got the DVD version. Why did they cut 10 minutes worth from the VHS version?

I don't have time to watch the whole thing, but is the Nordic two step bit with the teams playing with a white ball in a blizzard on here? Hilarious, that bit

Epic Zaire players!!!

btw does anyone remember this vid being free in a magazine? ??!

Is the keeper at 14:19 Gabor Kiraly? I think it is with the tracksuit

I've eaten Pizza in his house.

“He’s clear, he’s clear, he’s clearly a twat”

an extra from the sweeney xD

28:14 haha the goalkeeper :)

Just curious, why did they remove the French clips?

Do you happen to know if a bit that was clipped was an amazing team goal by a team in white, right at the end of the VHS?

HITC sport?

Ahhhh VHS

Its the guy from goodfellows

"They needed 3 points and if it'd been rugby union, they'd have got them." Simpler happy times. 😊

Shay Given the only Irish man not to know where Ireland is

HITC sport sent me

Sooooo funny

That’s probably why Dave went to the garden centre with his girlfriend instead

Worst but of acting since Ali was in East enders😁

Oh quality! I'll be pinching this with video downloader before the copyshite police take it away!

3:06 - 3:26 soccer molestment!

2:26

Chilaveeeeee-eeeeeeeeerrrtt goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllll