No Counting - Christmas 2022 Special - Worst Arcade Conversions Ever - Re-upload 

I never tire of watching these old 8-bit conversions being showcased. I jumped onto the Sega console bandwagon after the zx spectrum and missed soooo many arcade conversions. Looking back, I'm sure as a family we made the right decision :D

Our long national nightmare of being able to hear Patman count quietly if we listen very closely is over. This incident was the worst thing since I had to go back into my house to get my car keys after I closed the door but before I got to my car.

I actually loved that low tech method of timing out your segments. I get why you took it out but it made me smile. Anyway great video (my second watch!)

I absolutely love the port portions of your videos, so this is one heck of a gift! It's amazing how crazy bad some of these ports were, even when the hardware could easily handle them.

Sure this video will hit someone where it counts! As for me, I wouldn't change anything, since I couldn't imagine your videos any better than the way they are... Wishing you a happy new year!

Thanks for the extra work you put in. I, personally, didn't mind, but I guess the counting did drive certain people insane, rather than just being very noticeable.

Thanks for all of your great videos Pat, hope you and yours have a great new year 😎

Really appreciate the content, PatmanQC. Thank you for the video.

I wish you a very Happy New Year! Thanks for keeping me entertained and informed throughout the year! 👍👍👍

Lol much love to you, PatmanQC, salt of the earth & gem of RU-vid!!!

Nope, my Christmas was made with the sweet, gentle, quiet counting of the original video! Patman loved your video telling them they are the worst for complaining. Keep it up bud!

Happy 2023 Patman and a very baba booey to you all

Thanks again, Patman for the worst conversions documentary. Altered Beast is an interesting game, though I wish I could remap the controls so pushing up would jump, instead of a jump button, which gets awkward with the enemies attacks. That Spectrum version looks much different, yes. Amstrad moves at a snail's pace.

Your Videos are always so weil done, but your excellent, humorous commentary just makes it pure gold!!!! So enjoying this 😊 all the best for 2023 PatMan!

I cried when I played Rolling Thunder on my C64. It was my favorite arcade game when I was a kid and I found it on a disk full of pirated games. I was so excited, until I played it.

Merry Christmas and happy New Year to the Commander in Queef

Are you serious? It's been an hour and my sides still hurt from laughing (and likely liver disease). That was 🔥. I want a SWJ PM podcast yesterday!

2:26 Fighting the Hulk after accidentally walking into a Golden Axe level.

Merry Christmas pat an family. Thanks for all the awesome videos

I think this was like the ending in It's A Wonderful Life, "Daddy; Teacher says every time a game reviewer makes a video about the Amstrad version NARC being a blob of modern art an angel get's their wings." That's right honey ...You did it Clarence...

I just want to say your not fooling me. This was intentional I just know it. I know a PatmanQC joke when I see one. I did watch the previous upload and I thought that it was just a editing mistake and as soon as I saw “ no counting “ on this one I just cracked up. You never cease to amaze me with your great content. Happy Holidays to you and your family, keep up the good work and thank you for providing great entertainment.

I remember playing Double Dragon on the C64 and looking at the split bodies and wondering, "What is this really?"

happy new year! i'm still confused about all the countinfuzz tho, but here another like for your great content!!

Happy New Year, Patman

Whew... and here i thought you were trying to covertly hypnotize me lol.

Thanks for listening to our whiny requests! Much better now.

Great video! I remember ordering the Amiga version of Double Dragon from a mail order catalog back when it first came out. I loved the arcade version and played almost every day walking to the neighborhood party store to play it after school. I was soooo disappointed when I first played this! This was crappy, I was so spoiled to great Amiga arcade conversions I was sickened my beloved game came out this crappy!

Merry Queef-mas and Pappy New Smear! Good stuff sir!

Hey man, thanks for linking this version without the counting. I honestly didnt realise that it annoyed me so much until I heard it. My brain has a weird thing where, because youve counted to 15 a couple of times, itll then repeat in my head even where youre not actually doing it out loud. In other words, its my brain being annoying, rather than me randomly disliking someone counting to 15 :) Again, I really appreciate the double upload. Even if it is just for weirdos like myself XD Loved the video btw. I originally had a speccy 48k+ then bought myself an amiga. And yeah, I had all the games on this list XD

I enjoyed it so much before I suppose I'll watch it again tomorrow. :)

"I wish i woulda stayed in my grave" 😃😄🤣🤣🤣

I thought the counting was you numbering all the things wrong with the game you were playing "1, graphics, 2, music, 3, gameplay in general, 4, graphics again..."

I love ya, Patman! You're a man after my own queefs!

Is it just me or did that Tiertex logo not age well? Lol. Excellent video as always my good sir.

Great video .loads of awful ones on the amiga like galaxy force 2 , outrun , powerdrift ,afterburner e swat , un squadron , and anything that had tiertex attached to it lol

I miss your counting though. One thing I would have added was "If you ever missed to play these game in the past, don't give it a try. You'll be glad you didn't". 😁

Always entertaining 🤘

i think it would have been funny if the picture of where you said "crappy little games." you would flip the picture of your face upsidedown

I thought the counting was to let us know the sound didn't cut out

I do believe you're getting Atari's Pac-Man confused with E.T., which was notorious for Atari manufacturing more cartridges than there were Ataris on the market. And then for being buried in the desert.

Thanks for all you do Patman!

NARC for NES was definitely drug ridden You have to collect contraband, defeat drug lords, and break as many vats in the drug labs as you can. Heck, some of those enemies are actually tossing large heroin needles at you....

I'll never understand why no one ever made a better controller on the Amiga and ST. If they used both joystick ports for one controller, they could add an extra 5 buttons. The idea is too late to implement now, since any new games could require a USB add-on and controller.

So John van Ryzin worked on Race Drivin'. I agree, H.E.R.O. was a great game, and it's unfortunate that it wouldn't see a release until 1984, when the Great Video Game Crash was at its peak. He also did another Atari 2600 game called Cosmic Commuter, which was released in 1985 while the industry was still in shambles, and that was a unique and fun game too.

I just thought the counting was some sort of meme I was too stupid to get. Glad to see it was just a mistake and I’m not as stupid as I think I am.

17:41 exactly right. Genesis game was a good time. Snes doesn’t make sense how bad

All things considered I loved narc on the nes as a kid, due to the co op..especially the bridge/car level and that stage with kinky pinky…😮.

Ocean sure loved their crappy arpeggios.

I prefer the counting but I'm happy for people with the opposite view of me that they have this version too.

Well it gave me the opportunity to like it again

My dad persuaded me to not get Double Dragon for the C64 as I was a big fan of the arcade cabinet. I'll never forget that. I chose Airborne Ranger instead. I LOVED Narc in the arcades. Easily one of my fav titles of all time. The NES version was passable imo.

Ok I admit this is more watchable… but it’s missing that certain “Je ne sais quoi”

I have to say the Amiga port of Final Fight ended up pretty well. In most cases it wasn't so much the developers for the Amiga like Tiertex but the reliance on porting from the inferior Atari ST hardware. Thankfully that stopped with Shadow of the Beast.

6:39 That's because Spiderman, after joining the KKK, mixed his whites and reds in the wash.

I miss the counting. ;)

I wonder why a lot of games had so many bad home computer ports but decent console versions?

Not sure if I missed it, or if Atari 2600 version of Donkey Kong didn't make the list. It played "ok", but the visuals were laughable. The Colecovision port a few years later was simply outstanding and mind blowing (at the time).

final fight on the spectrum was so bad you need to look at that!

Did you ever do a video on Karnov?

Yep - if Commodore really knew what they had with the Amiga, then by 1989/90 ought to have mandated a minimum Amiga spec of 1MB, and also bundled an official, standard multi-button controller that could be used for games moving forwards from that point. That controller could be sold everywhere the Amiga is sold, and then the problem’s solved. Commodore was like a headless chicken, instead of realising that they had a golden goose for half of the 1980s. Atari shouldn’t have stood a chance against them with the ST, but instead Atari sold more of them to business especially. Also - yep - the Amstrad got a tonne of crap ports from the Spectrum, as they were cheap and quick to do without learning about or taking advantage of the hardware’s capabilities. Every slow and small window Amstrad game with no sound is based on unoptimised Spectrum code. Similar with Atari ST to Amiga ports, and much later on with Xbox 360 to PS3 ports that ram terribly on the PS3.

You should just do a video on all games that are good on the spectrum because it doesn’t seem like there are many

I didn’t get the big stink about the counting. I figured you forgot to delete a audio track while trying to put together an ambitious documentary in time for Christmas. You made a mistake.... SHOCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not sure if this was already mentioned in the comments, but some idiots at Activision thought it was a good idea to actually code and publish a version of Double Dragon for the Atari 2600 in 1989.

I didn't remember the counting things from the previous video, or atleast it didn't bother me that much. Oou well...

ideas for a part II: My Hero for the SMS 32card, two entire stages are missing, ugly colours, generic enemies ripped and pasted from Miracle World, the friend that fights with you is also absent, and to make sure you never get to see what you are missing they made the difficulty impossible. Thunder Fox for Genesis, vehicles like the jeep you could drive and shoot are missing, no two player mode, all the shooter stages are scrapped, bosses are gone 1st level boss was a tank not a chopper. And if you die you have to start the level all over, some arcade port huh? I forgot you already made a Captain America and the Avengers episode, maybe some horrible Mortal Kombat conversions for gameboy? I had a friend back then who was familiar with the arcade version of Thunder Blade, when he saw the genesis conversion he asked me where all the top down levels were (at the start of every mission, not the boss rounds) Also the frame rate is too choppy to enjoy. Why this conversion is considered OK is beyond me.

Good vid, it would be great to put a small part of the arcade original before the conversion, to compare better.

I agree with everything except narc but I was only 10 at the time but I had a lot of fun with narc on the nes. Now that I have the option to play it on pi it's different but I played the hell out of that in the early 90s . Hindsight is 2020

You left out the PS2 version of NARC which turned out to be nothing more than a cheap GTA clone

It's not the same without the counting

Idk I think you need a version with you counting in multiple languages.

Yeah but weren’t most 2600 arcade ports lower quality than the arcade versions?

I didn’t find the NES version of Narc wasn’t all bad. Given the Nintendo censorship towards drugs, and of course the hardware limitations, and lastly refusing a 4 button game down to 2 buttons. I still feel it somehow works. Obviously the arcade version is where it’s at, no doubt

Aw i liked the counting :)

👍👍

Yes, the SNES version of Pit Fighter was a Royal Stinker!!!! The game DEFINED suck-age on the SNES. The Sega Genesis version was much better. Given it’s capabilities, and the price of ROM cartridges,I expected FAR MORE from the SNES. Fortunately, many other games DID deliver for us.

I can play Both Harddrivin' for MS DOS and Atari ST 16Mhz enhanced on my Mega ST. The DOS Version on a 386sx card runs much faster tho.

I owned & still own a Commodore 64, these were garbage games & I am glad I did not waste my time on those. I am glad I wasted many years of my youth on RPG's like Ultima III-V, The Bard's Tale Series, Defender of the Crown, Moebius, Ultimate Wizard, Silent Service.

Strong disagree on NES NARC. I always thought it was excellent. And the drug references are still there... I can't see how you missed them.

Double Dragon repeatedly was a letdown on home systems. Even the Genesis version was weak. Double Dragon 2 on NES was better than the arcade. The PC Engine version was amazing too.

I don't understand how America became so weak that we can endure queefy bleeps and bloops in videogames but god forbid the quiet sound of a guy counting 15 seconds for a video.

💪😉🇵🇱

Crappy little game🤣

It’s always super cringe when I hear a grown man replace Christ with a silly goofy haha big funny word.

I remember being disappointed with the C64 version of E-swat

House of the Dead arcade should have been on this list

Amiga could have done tons better

Merry Christmas PatmanQC I have a good time on Christmas Holiday yesterday I got some Awesome Games on Nintendo included a Collection's of Games on Nintendo Switch from Konami call TMNT Cowabunga Collection's and more other I can brag about anyhow Merry Christmas PatmanQC and have yourself a Happy New Year for 2023 Buddy!! 🎉🎊🍾🥂🍷🍸🍹🍺🍻🎈🎆🎇