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No Matter What: Mark Lukach at TEDxMonterey 

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Mark Lukach is a freelance writer based out of San Francisco's Ocean Beach and author of "Where The Road Meets The Sun," a memoir about fear, loneliness, uncertainty, and his family's battle with mental illness. In his TEDxMonterey talk, Mark reflects on the adversity he and his wife have faced over the past few years and suggests that, more than ever, a deep and lasting commitment to the people we love might just be an ancient idea worth reviving.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

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16 май 2013

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Комментарии : 66   
@jayrex690
@jayrex690 7 лет назад
This should have about a million more views. One of the best TEDs I've seen and definitely the most heartfelt. Big respect for this man and his wife.
@laurencd6707
@laurencd6707 2 года назад
I was thinking the same thing when I looked to see how many comments there dose this video have. This video is 8 years old….. where has it been hiding?
@Tiffany-pz6dj
@Tiffany-pz6dj 11 месяцев назад
I just watched him on “The Moth” with this story and I looked him up. I know his pain more than I care to. I hope he and his wife are well.
@Allyanha
@Allyanha 10 лет назад
This man... ah, there are no words to describe how amazing his story is, and how rare and precious he is. I wish all the best to him and his wife !
@KittOMalley
@KittOMalley 10 лет назад
Thank you, Mark, for beautifully describing the abiding love my husband gives in his commitment to me. Thank you to everyone who, no matter what, stands beside loved ones suffering from mental illness.
@MultiBuzzzer
@MultiBuzzzer 6 лет назад
Mark's story of supporting his wife through 3 hospitalizations is inspiring ; he is a deeply moving speaker and I loved his memoir
@TheLisergicQueen
@TheLisergicQueen 9 лет назад
His story shows the real meaning of the word -Commitment- . Be there always for your partner, in the good as well in the bad times, to support and encourage the other half of your heart, your lover. :) no matter what. Love is the biggest strenght!!!♥
@RandomArganon
@RandomArganon 11 лет назад
Now I'm crying at work. This guy is amazing.
@user-ec3rm9wr1n
@user-ec3rm9wr1n 2 месяца назад
How to handle crazy wife reference she stalk strangers
@Mattthefarmer1
@Mattthefarmer1 10 лет назад
Wow-just watched this. Went thru something similar with my wife. Our struggle, like the Lukack family, will be a life long battle. We have learned a lot thru this experience and met some great people. I wish Mark and his family the very best.
@dorothyruppert5685
@dorothyruppert5685 9 лет назад
Great story of commitment. Mark, I understand your life as an advocate for your wife because I stood by my daughter who had bipolar disorder for almost 40 years before she died. "God Placed Her in My Path" is the book I wrote about it.
@KATIELAUGHTON
@KATIELAUGHTON 10 лет назад
You are truly a man of Honor. God bless you and your family.
@teresaleung2080
@teresaleung2080 10 лет назад
This video is so beautiful I fell in LIKE with Mark. He gives me hope that there is someone as sweet as him out there for me : )
@amyryan6150
@amyryan6150 10 лет назад
Thank you so much for sharing your story
@Channel16070
@Channel16070 10 лет назад
oh i m crying... this guy is awesome... God bless you both
@stevensaintvincent81
@stevensaintvincent81 11 лет назад
Brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing.
@oh-ok-2022
@oh-ok-2022 3 года назад
Thank you so much for sharing your story, it shows the strength it takes to stay with a partner with a mental illness. It is devastating and gets someone down. Not a lot of people can endure it. As he said a lot of friends admitted that they would have left. It almost takes inhuman patience to deal with the illness, while raising a little child. Thank you so much for sharing !!!
@lindsayuhh9802
@lindsayuhh9802 2 года назад
Bless your soul. You and family - amazing.
@njsee56
@njsee56 5 лет назад
powerful - thanks for resurrecting the word commitment in a real-life context.
@Shingjanjie
@Shingjanjie 4 года назад
I believe in love again because of this talk.
@rosemarymoore3592
@rosemarymoore3592 6 лет назад
Wow, I have no words to say! I really believe in the importance of commitment and both my partner and I have been through some very difficult times ourselves. I would never have got through these situations without him.
@rjvankaatuart1313
@rjvankaatuart1313 10 лет назад
Soo touching story...make me cry..gbu both ♥
@rock7roll1
@rock7roll1 11 лет назад
Inspiring.
@halfwayhollis
@halfwayhollis 10 лет назад
Brilliant talk, thank you for sharing your story. Must have taken so much courage for him to stand up and tell it to the world. Although on a positive note it's really encouraging to see mental health becoming less of a taboo subject, it really is a talking point that needs to be addressed.
@jakesmyth8170
@jakesmyth8170 3 года назад
Best teacher I have ever had m! Sp
@genesebelius4466
@genesebelius4466 4 года назад
Your a brave man 🙏
@chera3689
@chera3689 3 года назад
Thank you 🙏
@FawziBabtainMD
@FawziBabtainMD 5 лет назад
Great and inspiring story, thanks Mark. The book he wrote was the best that I read in years, so beautiful that I didn’t want it to end, and was glued to it. In fact, I enjoyed reading the book more than the most fascinating Netflix drama or reality shows. I hope you, Julia and Jonas enjoy your life together the most
@just_vibin5397
@just_vibin5397 Год назад
This has been very helpful I’m dealing with a similar situation with my wife
@pauldurrah3777
@pauldurrah3777 3 года назад
i wish someday i have someone that loves me that much, great story.
@bredadooley2385
@bredadooley2385 9 лет назад
I am living the same challenge with a beautiful man who has stayed by me for 26 years of bipolar. Its exhausting and more bitter than sweet. Committment is fine but can be eroded - I hope we stay the pace. This is such a beautiful piece and highlights to need for support of spouses of people with bipolar. Am working on it on my Masters thesis and any man who would like to help in my research would be very welcome Breda
@OmarShehe
@OmarShehe 3 года назад
Thank you for sharing your story. This makes me fill that am not alone. I am currently in similar situations but the thing am afraid of the most is that my wife doesn't know that she sick and she doesn't want to take medication or treatment. And she is mentally ill. She is in the hospital for one month now and the doctor's don't know the type of illness yet. I'm really sad, hopeless, fill alone and deprecated. I don't know what to do and I am in foreign countries.
@laurencd6707
@laurencd6707 2 года назад
Shehe…… I like that
@nate6848
@nate6848 7 лет назад
This is my teacher
@cjmancini6189
@cjmancini6189 6 лет назад
aye
@SebzyCS
@SebzyCS 6 лет назад
Me too
@nate6848
@nate6848 6 лет назад
Sebastian Pedersen me too
@jsco28
@jsco28 6 лет назад
me too
@giagosalia8615
@giagosalia8615 10 месяцев назад
same
@sammendocino2518
@sammendocino2518 10 лет назад
The people, the families who have and/or are suffering in trying to cope with a family member who's got BPD or bipolar disorder -- you KNOW what I'm talking about. How many families have made the mistake of thinking they can DEAL with this on their own? PROFESSIONAL HELP is what's needed, not well-intentioned but misplaced responses by family members and friends. Something like BPD will not only wreck the life of the person who has it, but also drag everyone in the immediate vicinity who cares about them down with them in a spiral of insanity and self-destruction.
@lindsayuhh9802
@lindsayuhh9802 2 года назад
Sending love. Try some Lion’s Manes mushrooms with some probiotics, micro green algae and good enzymes to manage better. Medic is needed. Therapy is needed.
@DiedreBraverman
@DiedreBraverman 7 лет назад
Some mental illnesses, including bipolar disorder, do not have cures yet. (Scientists have identified some critical genes, and gene therapy IS coming.) But people suffering from even "incurable" mental illnesses can be symptom-free for months, years, decades, a lifetime. Other mental illness, such as Personality Disorders (which I believe have been the illnesses used in some of the comments' more extreme examples) can be cured. I am surprised at how hostile some of the comments are toward a couple facing an illness together. Would you say the same thing if Mr. Lukatch's wife, Gulia, had cancer with as uncertain a future as bipolar disorder? No, because cancer can't "harm" others? What about Parkinson's, which can cause deep and suicidal depressions, driving its victims to do things they would have found unthinkable in better days? What if Mrs. Lukatch had a mildly contagious but serious "physical" condition? Would you say the same thing to someone committed to a person with autism (it's in the DSM of mental illnesses too and, like bipolar disorder, is believed to have a strong genetic component; bipolar disorder genetic differences even significantly overlap with those of autism). Why this rush to judge others who are finding their own ways through intensely painful problems? And, BTW, people with bipolar disorder are underrepresented as a percentage in those who commit violent crimes. You're more likely to suffer at the hands of a "sane" person, as are their own children.
@susanwang6341
@susanwang6341 7 лет назад
Thank you Diedre :)
@redmonkeyman
@redmonkeyman 10 лет назад
This is a wonderful story and his commitment to his wife is to be applauded . However........the full story of the spectrum of mental illness and how one relates to mental illness in a family member is much more complex . Let's ask some harder questions here . How will he respond when if his wife were to threaten to kill their son ? What if this fixation continued....for years ? Stay "committed" to your commitment ? That's more important than the safety of your child ? Hard decisions sometimes have to be made , with no win-win happy ending . Mental illness can be like a vast , slow-motion tornado that can eventually suck in an entire family and destroy it . I only say this with the hope that someone in a situation like the young man in the video , except possibly more severe , would not feel guilty for leaving ....if that were the wisest option . I also wouldn't make a post like this if I didn't have first-hand experience .
@sammendocino2518
@sammendocino2518 10 лет назад
I like the way you described it as a "vast, slow-motion tornado;" I wish I'd come up with that. I think we both speak from our own experiences. My family member's illness is so severe right now one of her therapists broke down in tears in surrender. Her other doctors think the only solution is to keep furnishing her with prescription after prescription after prescription, medications that seem to have done a lot more harm than good as we've seen her condition worsen year after year after year. She's become addicted to some of them, for we've caught her doing things which we know are meant to intensify the effects of certain drugs. She's been in a couple of 5150's, attempted suicide twice, and once tried to burn down her house with her husband in it. And through it all she's woven a tapestry of lies, grudges, and various manipulations, pitting family members against one another, shattering relationships, not just "burning bridges" but emptying entire rivers of our families' emotions and nerves and sanities over the years. She has ranting, raving, hysterical, terrifying rants once every two weeks; they can be triggered by anything. We feel totally helpless in the face of this all. Doctors have tried everything. That's why I feel so strongly about this talk by Lukach, and why i see it as gross disservice to the issue. It really tends to gloss over the genuine havoc and destruction mental illness can inflict over entire families, and seemingly reduces it all to a love story fable.
@redmonkeyman
@redmonkeyman 10 лет назад
I agree completely Ramon . In the beginning , I think there is a real tendency to want to create a "story" that has a hopeful ending . But sometimes , maybe even usually , that is not the case . The man in the video seems to be trying to construct a metaphorical life raft to cling to , as he builds support from the retelling of his story . I don't begrudge him that if it helps get him through the night . I can really relate to your story , very similar to mine . Good luck my friend .
@sammendocino2518
@sammendocino2518 10 лет назад
Thank you for sharing your perspective, William. You may be right -- perhaps I shouldn't begrudge him either if it helps get him through the night. It's really nothing personal, in the sense that I don't think see Mr. Lukach as a bad person. However, I do feel strongly enough about the matter to perhaps reach out to him directly. Why? Because of the name - Adam Lanza.
@sammendocino2518
@sammendocino2518 10 лет назад
I wonder if Nancy Lanza had the same thoughts --- perhaps her love and commitment to Adam as a mother would be enough to save him. His mother was by all accounts a loving mother, who gave her all to her mentally ill son. What she should've done though was get more professional help for her son ... perhaps she even should've had him committed. Her delusory belief in this "love and commitment" narrative when confronted by a mentally ill family member helped to create an indescribable tragedy.
@ineedtoeatcake
@ineedtoeatcake 6 лет назад
According to a different video I've seen of him and his wife talking about the book he has written, his wife is not continuously in a state of crisis and will spend months or years worth of time without mental health issues, which is fantastic and gives reason for their relationship to be worth having. I wonder if people with mood disorders are best matched with romantic partnets who have a similar mood disorder.
@bal3005
@bal3005 9 лет назад
Moe Zidan
@najwaismail8801
@najwaismail8801 2 года назад
Demon possession is REAL
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