Off The Record: The Careful Boys Wanna Know How to Speak 

The issue I have with Julia and the cast is that this person was taken advantage of, if the woman was up front and said I was trans, then the guy would have said no, but she didn’t say anything because she knew how he would feel, meaning she lied and took advantage of him - we can all have preferences, so that community can love who they want but we can’t? She should be truthful from the beginning so that if he says it doesn’t matter she found someone who truly likes her - And now there is this thing of trans men and women saying “I’m a woman or I’m a man, I’m not trans” - YES YOU ARE TRANS -

Personally as a trans women myself, I would never have sex with a men and they don’t know. However, there have been a few times I assumed the guys knew so I didn’t tell them but after talking more I found out they didn’t know. It’s very dangerous for us to be in that situation, so this is why it’s always important to disclose you’re transgender. We will never be female even if we get SRS (sexual reassignment surgery). So a straight male is entitled to know our truth before sex. It’s very difficult and scary to tell a guy we are trans because we never know what reaction we will get, so I understand. Disclosure is a must if moving forward you plan on having sex or building a relationship with them. Also to be honest usually guys don’t care when they find out. 🤷🏽‍♀️ It’s always great to hear all the different views everyone has on the show. You all are the best!

It's not transphobic and he was deceived, it's simple. Just a fact. Consent is more important than someones perception of transphobia.

In a world that speaks so much of acceptance and validity of emotions, stripping a person of their right to fully-consent and taking advantage of them is wrong regardless of how a person might feel or identify.

As a 31 year old women if I found out the man I just hookup with was married I’m gonna puke and feel disgusting. If I found out that a man lied about he’s age and said he was 29 but really 17 I’ll puke . If I found out that he use to be a woman I’m still gonna puke. If I fell in love with a man and later found out he had some incurable STDs I’m going to puke. Get it ?? You are taking away MY CHOICE MY DECISION on who I want to share MY BODY with .

Disclosure is key. If the person was upfront then the partner still has the option to back out.

It's not transphobic to not be okay that later you found out that you slept with a trans woman. It's crazy to think that we're having this conversation still. She took advantage of him because she knew that if she told him she was trans, he wouldn't want to go forward with the one night stand. Nothing wrong with that, it's his choice. I don't know why Julia, Joe, and the others don't see that.

Are they seriously trying to take the trans woman’s side?? They are 1000% in the wrong for not disclosing then later on calling the guy homophobic. It’s starting to get ridiculous

He was used… and lied to. You can’t just do that shit to people and then play the transfobic card… that’s like giving someone who doesn’t do drugs a gummy candy, them getting blasted and then you being like “you didn’t ask what kind of gummy it was*shrugs*”… like you knew this person doesn’t partake in that activity but you chose not to disclose that important information. It’s fucked up. There’s no excuse for that. She overstepped his boundaries and he deserves to be upset. Period.

I think she should of told him. Trans people are trying to get everybody to treat them respect and accept them in this society which is perfectly fine but if you want everyone to do that for you then you should have the responsibility to let people know if you are biologically a man or female when it comes to sex and relationships

Jason and Jesus together as guests. We gotta make it happen.

What happened to consent? -permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. It isn't a full agreement if not all the truths are out on the table.. just because YOU have a personal belief does not mean it is factual just like religion this should not be expected.

This is like a 16 year old girl tells a guy she’s 18 then they have sex, does that make him an pedo ? No. But did she lie to him and make him question his own autonomy ? Yes. This is the same thing, did him sleeping with her make him gay? No. But did she take his right to choose out of the picture? Absolutely.

nah yea the trans person is in the wrong. thats like something you gotta tell the other person before doing anything sexual. totally messed up

You guys are missing the point here. Because you guys dont want to get cancel. She didn't tell, period. No respect

lol they all keep saying " he didnt know". Thats the definition of "taking advantage of".

If you're in the market for a car with nice leather seats then and the salesperson shows you a car with nice quality leather feeling seats and you buy it, is it ok for the salesperson to tell you after the sale that it isn't actual leather, but it's still really high quality material?

In a Hook-up situation-ship or a genuine Relationship: If you knowingly go in a situation of consensual sex with DECEIT, before, during, and after the fact,.... then you are in the wrong. Period. Everyone has the right to first refusal, when given the full truth beforehand. Just be honest from the beginning... It is utmost Respect and Truth at stake....

It's definitely not transphobic if he were not told beforehand. I agree that it's messed up that he was not given the choice and disclosure. If he was told the truth, they'd both be able to recognize that either 1) it wasn't meant to be (no need to waste more time dating someone that isn't interested) or 2) have the opportunity to build that relationship if they're cool with it.

Dude I would legit be traumatized if I slept with a man that transitioned to a woman. I’m 100% for trans rights but EVERYONE also should have the right to choose what they’re consenting to. To not disclose to him is FUCKED UP. Such an experience would fuck me up in my head for the rest of my entire life. I don’t give a fuck if emotions are involved are not, that’s MY BOUNDARY. Since when did not wanting to be in a relationship with someone take away from who someone choosing who they are ok with having sex with?Horrible take from here esp Joe and Julia. Trans people are not biologically what their new gender is, that’s a fact. It’s not transphobic to not be into or want to have sex with trans people whatsoever. People have their own preference and that shit should be respected. The fact that his friend is getting fucked up over it mentally matters, the trans woman shouldn’t just get to have it her way. At the end of the day he didnt consent to this!! It’s so simple. It’s the trans person’s right to not disclose but it’s not the straight person’s right to choose?? Get the fuck outta here. Even if someone was a bigoted actually transphobic person it should still be their right to choose

I once had a trans woman co-worker hit on me and she immediately let me know that she was trans and I appreciated it a lot because I couldn’t tell. That’s the way it should be!

I love Just Kidding News for episodes like this! Every once and a while there will some deep complex topics like this and and you can see people's true thoughts in an entertaining fashion. Thank you!

Bro got graped! Wtf is wrong with people

I feel like its on the lines of getting catfished or scammed.

I think calling it transphobic it’s where it’s fucked up. Cause I feel like it’s not and that’s where I have an issue. If he was just hooking up and he came fuck it it happened cause in his eyes at the time it was a woman. But being rejected and then pulling the transphobic card it’s kinda like nah what!?

I can’t believe the cast doesn’t realize that disclosure is key here. If he had known he wouldn’t have slept with her and that’s okay. We can’t disregard his feelings as well. I think Jesus didn’t explain his friends feelings correctly. He felt violated. If I was a man and this happened to me I think I would be just as upset.

Wtf!? Nah y’all trippin on this one. Of course it’s fucked up if a trans person doesn’t disclose that. Y’all being a little too careful now

Each person should have a right to choose, Yea great you transitioned but don't expect everyone in society to fully adapt to that mindset. My preference for a partner does not mean I'm transphobic. If I'm not saying anything negative or harassing an individual, why should I be called transphobic. My body my choice. L take for Julia. This take that everyone is expected to think the same is unrealistic. People should be free to choose on who they want to partner up with. Actually the act of not telling is lowkey an entrapment and borderline RAPE. If a guy decides to take off a condom mid sex without the concent of the female that is rape. If a Trans have sex with a man without full disclosure and consent, that is RAPE.

Julia was hella hard to listen to this episode. Shes right, only under the pretense of knowing beforehand she's trans.

YOU NEED TO DISCLOUSE!!!!!!! NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!!!

The guy is not trans phobic he got lied to

I feel like he was tricked …. If u not biologically something n u didn’t disclosed that to give me the option- thats F UP~his friend has a right to b mad . Hook up or not~ morally it just seems manipulative like having ur cake and eating it to, because yes ur satisfied but he’s in a limbo that can have many different out comes depending on how he takes it. Sadly ppl have lost their lives that way… N not being mean or rude but yes u can identify as something 100% but it’s not fair to someone else especially if they don’t share the same view as u. F UP @ that point is it even consensual But keep ur head up boss if u don’t like that don’t disclose that to ppl about what happened/ take ur L it is what it is now.

You should always disclose your situation. Even if it’s “just” a hook up they should disclose it. Take Thailand and their ladyboys for example. They’re upfront about it and they’re killing the game.

nah man, L take, it should be illegal to not tell someone

So he in the right because he got lied to. Trans or not you should always let the people know ahead of time

That's a man!! Doesn't matter how you feel. That's really messed up not to tell the guy. You should give people the CHOICE to deal with you

How would a vegan feel if I feed them tofu and told them after they ate it it was pig fat in there too?

Appreciate these kinds of conversations that other people are too scared to have!!

He's upset he got bamboozled. It's just a hook up it's like how women hook up with guys one night but neither pursue anything further. And hes living his walk of shame

She definitely took advantage of that dude. She knew he wouldn't be okay with it and still went for it

Julia is wrong but it makes sense that she’s defending the trans cause she has a trans sibling

nah i think she should have told him before they hooked up

I think disclosure is important. It can be scary of you're trans though and even dangerous being with someone who doesn't know. Things can go bad. but yeah i think the guy is owed honesty IG. Its not transphobic to not want to be with a trans person though. Some people are really not into it and it's not fair to them irrespective of whether it's rooted in bias .

sounds like bunch of gaslighting

Very interesting topic you guys brought up. Honestly made me think a lot too. You guys made a good points in peoples different perspectives! Loved the different answers! Keep up good work~

The concept of self-identity and autonomy is one of the most valued aspects of human existence, and when someone makes life-defining decisions on our behalf, it may lead us to feel that our agency has been violated. He may be experiencing cognitive dissonance, which I believe is causing him to feel angry.

no to all Julia. Its his choice and trans took his choice away. Its not being transphobic for wanting to have a choice of who he shares an intimate time with.

Idk why it would be any different than the person you slept with lying about anything personal It's just wrong regardless of your take on trans issues

I get both sides, but I think it’s an issue of consent. The man consented to have sex with a naturally born women. But trans women now are women. But some men, don’t agree. I hope it’s not ignorant, it’s just the way it’s viewed. It’s the definition like Joe said. Personally, I feel like she should have mentioned it. But I also get the violence part. It’s Hard, man.

This is even an issue in the gay community. If a trans person wants to have relations with a same sex partner it's common knowledge to have to disclose that info w/ their partners before hooking up. I don't see why it would be any different if you were straight...?

I don’t think he is trans phobic if he has his own preferences. Biologically his hormones did what they did cuz his mind thought what it thought. Just cuz you don’t wanna have sex with a trans per doesn’t mean you are transphobic. If I’m friends and work with and respect trans people does that mean I also HAVE TO have sex with them? No.

Julia’s argument about if the trans person confesses they are a women and u reject her your telling them they are not a women is just flat out wrong your not telling them they aren’t a women your just telling them u don’t want to have sex because your not comfortable with having sex with a trans person

Love this kind of discussions(topics People usually are afraid to touch)🤣🤣🤣hilarious and very educative

idk if im gonna get canceled for this but i believe you have the right to identify whatever you want but i also have the right to have my own definition of whats a male or female.

I’m asking “for a friend” 😂Lol

Nah man this a big L from Jk. They are just trying to not get canceled by not trying to sound transphobic. That trans person is in the wrong for not disclosing the fact that she use to be a male. It doesn’t matter what she is now you can’t do that to people. Before things get serious you have to tell the person that you are trans and let that person decide whether or not they still want to do anything with you. That’s low key taking advantage of someone because your taking advantage of them but not telling them the complete truth of who you are. It’s just wrong no way around it. And if it was the other way around let’s say a woman that transition to the man and hooked up with a female and didn’t tell her that’s still wrong. You can’t use people and then pull the transphobic card when someone gets upset with you for being a liar and deceptive.

You don't have to be attracted to trans people, what she did just sounds like she was trying to guilt him. That's almost like saying if you reject me for whatever reason you're racist. She didn't have to disclose it, but that should've meant she shouldn't have came onto him. It's not transphobic, he wasn't informed to make the decision. The entire point is that she was deliberately deceptive and then tried to turn it on him. It doesn't matter if he thought she was a cis woman the entire time, at the end it was deception. It doesn't matter if you came and for some people that just makes it worse, not better Joe lol. She was taking advantage of him, point blank.

I think it’s crappy thing to insinuate that trans females are only ok for hooking up. Like the sentiment of don’t mention it if we are just hooking up but do mention it if we are dating has got to make the trans female feel crappy. That being said I think it’s it own category and think it is something to be upfront about or at least be more selective in who you tell. Anthony’s right on why did she say anything if it was more than just a one night fling? Maybe she told him and was being up front once he came to her trying to get some more. In which case, hey brother, the heart wants what it wants. 😂

I agree with Jesus at least give him an option to say yes or no.

There has also been a rise of people taking anti-HIV-AIDS medication and not disclosing their status to sexual partners, because the risk of contraction is “lowered”.

“Guys i don’t wanna talk about this anymore “ lmao

2:43 had me cracking up lmao! Anthony looks so happy 😊

Consent! Simple as that. Everyone is entitled to know who they are sleeping with. How you “feel” is not what you are. I can feel like a cat but that doesn’t make me a cat.

If it was a lesbian and she hooked up with a girl and found out that it was a man people would go crazy. I do think if you have transitioned you should be upfront with the other party for consent. Just seems polite

I feel like Julia got dumber as time has gone on. You cannot blame someone for being upset and assume he is questioning his sexuality. It can be just as simple as his preference is cis woman.

Bro it's obvious it's the trans person fault, period.

Here's the thing, in my mind, here's the spectrum biological man---trans---biological woman. It shouldn't be transphobic to say I only like biological women. Transpeople need to come to terms that they need to call themselves transwoman/man. If you identify as a woman then you're a transwoman, but I'm not going to play into the fantasy that surgery and hormone therapy turns a transwoman into a biological woman. We live in a time right now where "woke" people would demonize me for saying I want to have children with a woman. I clearly can't have children with a transwoman. Would I be willing to adopt if I later found out my sperm or her eggs weren't capable of producing children, YES, but that's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it. Trans people can identify as what they want, but they will never biologically be whatever they identify as. I'm not saying it to criticize and shame them. If someone has two prostetic legs and walks perfectly fine, I should be able to decide if I want to date them based off of that. That doesn't make me prostetiphobic. Women date and marry men because they have money and can provide for them and children they may have in the future, does that make them poveryphobic ?? NO, preferences are preferences. The trans movement has gone too far, it's not about equality anymore.

This cast dynamic is hilarious!! Jesus, Julia, and the usual Careful gang.

I love Jesus 😂😂😂

It was a hookup that's the dice you roll bro lol

I agree with Jesus. She should’ve being up front way before getting intimate. And him feeling upset, uncomfortable or angry does not make him transphobic.

I somehow feel that they’d (and for they I mean the guys) have a different opinion if the cameras weren’t running. We have to admit that everyone somehow feels the need to say “the appropriate things” and not be cancelled by the internet these days. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is this a moment where Jesus says "this is a story about a friend" when its really about him 🤨

i really disagree with Julia. she completely overlooked the idea OF CONSENT and ANATOMY. i’m glad at least the others understood that

some ppl might just say that they’re attracted to cisgender women? I saw this definition on google 😅 Cisgender is a term that is used to describe people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, someone who was assigned female at birth (AFAB) and identifies as a woman is a cisgender woman. On the other hand, an AFAB person who identifies as a man is a transgender man.

As wrong as it is, I truly believe that there are more cases than we would like to think, where a death of a trans woman happened because they were deceitful to who they had sex with or got romantically involved with. AGAIN *IT IS WRONG FOR THEM TO BE GETTING KILLED LIKE THEY ARE BEING* , but how many of those cases was a result of dishonesty from the trans person?? Yes they are in danger regardless, but I truly feel they pretty much put a potential nail in the coffin when they lie about their gender origin or whatever 😬

the fact that there so much confusion kinda answers the question of how insane this is lmao

It might be a good idea to be like: "yes, I am a woman but I happen to have male genitalia. Or I used to have male genitalia. I am trans." It's also safer to establish this before taking someone to bed. This woman took a huge risk by not establishing this fact. She also failed to get the guy's consent before taking him to bed. He thought he was taking a cis gendered woman to bed. I would be upset if someone I took to bed failed to tell me and only told me after the fact. Tell me before and we'll be cool.

damn..i would be messed up for a long time if i found out the way his friend did..this episode actually gave me a stomach ache! imagine banging a chik who has full blown aids & she didn't tell you till later! that's pretty much the same thing..

gender /= sex. Trans people should not be able to change F to M or M to F on their Identification. You can change your gender identification all you want, but you can't change your sex. I want to date a person whos sex is female, that's my preference. Your gender can be whatever, but your Sex has to be female for me to consider dating you.

Kinda disagreed with the take the crew had on this one which is the first in a long time. Seemed like they're weren't really thinking about how biased their take was on the Trans person's part was by letting it be ok for them to not disclose these type of things to people whether you're Trans, married, or underage. They're are all in the same category 💯%🤷‍♂️

Why do I feel like the 'friend' is Jesus. haha

I agree with Jesus. The fact there was no consent is crucial. I would be annoyed as well and that doesn’t mean I’m transphobic I would just like to know who I’m having sex with. What’s wrong with that?

The impression of the black cell phone salesman was SPOT ON tho lmao

Y’all are trippin. That girl is 100% in the wrong

Having a preference for who you want to exchange bodily fluids with, is NOT transphobic.

Nope I don't agree. Be straightforward because this type of things can get out of hand. Disclose before doing the deed. People have rights and choices. For people agreeing to not disclosed is messed up. Choices like this can really mess with a person's mental health. Now look you have someone that has been violated. Jesus said his buddy feels angry, confused, etc... the man has been violated, not that he's questioning his sexuality. Plus the guys is not transphobic. He's into women not trans women, it's a preference. When the hell did preference become a phobia?

First, I love Julia but I totally disagree with her stance. I’m 💯 with Jesus on the honesty upfront so it allows me to decide if I want to stay or go. It’s not being transphobic at all and how his friend feels about it is his choice. He’s not slamming the girl or putting her out there or calling her names. He’s just struggling internally with how he feels and there’s nothing wrong with that.

That is not ok. You have to tell people right off the bat, or at the bare minimum right before the act. Live however you want but don't just assume that people are on the same thinking as you. That's both selfish and dangerous.

I feel like if Julia wasn't there, then they wouldn't be so for it. This is why it was good to get rid of the females in jknews. Towards the end, I was getting annoyed from the show because you can see Geo and Tiff acting very 3rd wave feminist, basically whiney and illogical. Now Julia comes for 1 episode, and the rest of the cast us trying to be like, sure it's fine that dude didn't tell dude that he was a dude when other dude was not into dudes. Notice how it'd all dudes said there, as there was not a single female in that interaction.

Just let the man know so he can chose. When did it become transphobic when the man now is feeling violated or feels like he’s questioning his sexuality. That’s his right to feel all that because he was Deceived and was Tricked. And seriously when did the man lose all his rights to feel any type of way. Let the man know period.

Can we just stamp a label on our freaking foreheads and be over guessing which is which? This label thing and people being overly sensitive about it is getting more and more ridiculous. We all have different opinions anyway and by being transparent about the reality of these labels and the countless pronouns being invented, we can just choose how we treat and if we even choose to interact with people of whatever label.

In my opinion the trans should take responsibility in letting the person know regardless if its a hook or relationship. The rest of world should not need to walk on egg shells.

This was the hot seat

i would be angry to he has the right to information that could prevent the act being consentual every person risks being turnd down for many reasons why should trans people be exempt

Very interesting conversation.

Bring back Jesus! double entendre lol

Its not transphobic to not be attracted to trans people, aslong as you're respectful and treat them the same as anyone else then whats the problem

Perception in your reality but not the truth. To me this person is a victim but I hope he can get over it and not become transphobic, which I would. Not to be that person but we all should have a choice. Please Julia reconsider your thoughts on this cause this is not the path we should go on.

Honestly I think the direction Anthony was going in is right here. Why did she tell him afterwards? Seems like she might get off on fucking with peoples heads and that just not right.