"We do have the best job in the world, so we do have that going for us. Luckily, there's enough people telling me every day I suck to keep me grounded." Come on, re-word that a little bit and THAT is a T-shirt for sure.
"We have the best job. But we suck at it." Or "Best Job. Get told we suck at it." " 'You suck' that keeps me grounded" I know these sound stupid, but they're funny to me.
While watching the podcast, I paused it and had such an unbelievably shitty night. I unpause the podcast and one of the first things I see is Matt empty a whole tube of mini m'n'm's into his mouth and point a wide-opened grin to the camera, showing off all those bright colours in his mouth. I can't describe how glad I felt that that made me happy in the littlest way. Thanks Matt
I've been saying what Ryan says about depression for years. I'm absolutely great now, but when I was 14-17-ish I was miserably depressed. And I can remember almost...liking it. Like I wanted to be sad, but the more sad I got the more I equally wanted to be better AND wanted to be more miserable. I totally get what Ryan's saying.
The title alone fucks me up a little. One thing about mental illnesses a lot of people don't understand is, once you actually start recovering, and getting better, it's scary. There's a comfort and certainty that comes with always being at the bottom.
That IS how depression WORKS. Even though people shorten it to just "depression", the disorder is actually called "Major Depressive Disorder", or MDD for short. Almost definitionally, MDD is when things (one thing or another, usually neurons) are not working the way they are supposed to... though, there could be other reason, but the usual reason, from what I remember from research and education, IS a lack of or damage to serotonin receptor sites on the neurons. The way depression, the mood, is SUPPOSED to work (according to one of my psych professors at least), is socially. It is supposed to be a motivator. You either get "exiled" (or whatever) from a social group or otherwise separated from one or more social groups. Depression occurs. It is supposed to motivate you to find a new social group. When you find a new one, it is supposed to go away... However, those (like me and so many others) with the disorder... it just doesn't go away, and usually doesn't occur in the scenario described above...
So I've had chronic depression for YEARS and I LOVE my life, it's basically PURELY chemical. So it's totally possible to have depression but still have all you want out of life
It probably is disassociation and don't worry it's perfectly normal. It usually has a specific trigger and as long as it doesn't affect your ability to live you're fine.
I wish Gavin would read comments, but he sounds like he's dissociating/de-realizing(I personally think de-realization is more like what he's talking about, since he's feeling out of body). Whenever this happens to me and I'm alone, I usually watch twitch and participate in the chat, it's stimulation for your mind and it kinda grounds you back to reality.
I'm sorry to hear that. D: I've only had a handful of de-realization episodes and usually keeping my mind off it and stimulated helps me feel less horrible. I've also found that trying to figure out "what's wrong with you" and berating yourself for not feeling "normal" makes it worse too.
+divider thanks for the empathy yeah youare right it makes it worse but as ryan said its addicting because i dont want to feel bad but i cant resist berating myself over it
The depression talk kinda starts at 1:20:03 with Gavin not feeling real then they got a bit off topic, at 1:33:35 Gavin brought it up again and the talk goes for about five minutes.
I can relate to Gavin a bit with his "sometimes I don't feel real" thing. Occasionally I'll be looking at myself in a mirror, and I wont recognize my own reflection. For a few seconds I think I'm a completely different person, and I don't really understand what I'm looking at. That sort of dissociation is pretty bizarre.
I actually had that once when looking at my dad. I was across a room watching him in a conversation, and just like "who the fuck is this". Only happened once though.
I just eventually have wierd out of body experiences where i just think about what im doing in that exact moment and my brain just goes somewhere else because that thing im doing is so insignificant in the world and i just just snap back so i kind of understand what Gavin is saying about not being "real".
+Danny Salcido I get it if my iron levels drop too low, it just feels like I'm floating through life and can't connect to the real world, and thinking clearly is a real issue
what gavin is describing is textbook derealisation. i'm pretty sure it's normal to a degree, but if it happens often or for a long time he may want to look into depersonalisation/derealisation disorder. the Wikipedia page is pretty good as a starting place! i know it can be quite scary, especially when you "wake up" and feel like "wtf was that". it can happen during episodes of anxiety or depression, or on its on. multiple personality disorder was renamed to dissociative identity disorder and is something completely different. derealisation is the feeling that nothing is real, and depersonalisation is the feeling that you yourself are not a real human. i hope this helps! something that really helps me when i feel dissociation or derealisation is counting shades of colours. for example, how many different shades of blue can you see right now? anything that grounds you and connects you to reality and the present is good (except any form of self harm, of course). good luck gav!! do some research and don't worry about it honey x
No, Gavin, I've never walked around and not felt real. I do, however, occasionally have the realization that I'm in control of my own life and that I'm not actually someone just observing me live my life.
they're literally talking about depression and dissosiative disorders but mica speaking up about issues she's faced in her life is too far? okay rt fandom
+princekeisha6 exactly. But the world will always be filled with these idiots believing that money gives eternal happiness and is a free ticket to success without frustration and strips the right to speak your mind and let out your feelings. Unfortunately its a thing that will never not be a thing.
The fact is, she took up a large potion of the time talking about her problems, giving very little opportunity for anyone else to get a word in. Gavin and Ryan only talked about it a little bit.
+Hershef That wasnt the reason why people spread hate towards her though. Yeah, she talked for quite a long time but nobody was complaining about that. All I ever saw was assholes saying "why is she complaining given how rich she is?" "She'd be nothing with how famous daddy" "She has no reason to bitch about her life when she has so much money and got handed a job because of her father" Thise were all actual comments I remember seeing every time she was in a video. Not once did I see a comment only or at all really complaining about how long she went on about. 99% of the comments I kept seeing were just mindless hate.
Jordan Barnes My complete ignorance, absolutely. It'd be hilarious if I actually intentionally did not include the "c" and "k" purposefully, so that the brashness of the word "Fuck"wouldn't take away from the lightheartedness of the comment. That'd just be silly.
I was just posting about this. For me it says the video is only 11 minutes long. I was watching yesterday though and I was an hour in before I paused it to go to bed. Not really sure what happened.
I can't stop laughing at how this is like, Ryan is the mischievous older brother that the parents left in charge for the night to babysit, and they gave him $40 for pizza but instead they bought candy and now they are just trying to have as much as they can before the parents get back hahahaha
+Ivory Valor I'm in the same boat with Bloodborne. I don't have a PS4, and it sucks because I REALLY want to play Bloodborne, but it's the only PS4 game that I find even slightly appealing. And I'm not about to pay $300 for a single game.
As an American who grew up in Africa for most of my life, I love seeing all these conversations about cultural differences between products (i.e. Coco Pops and Chocolate Rice Krispies), understanding/relating to both sides, and being able to laugh at all of it
watching this with a friend who has never watched off topic or achievement hunter in her life, and she tells me that there is a formula to this friend group. Ryan=the leader Jeremy=the funny one Gavin=the foreign one Trevor=the cute one Matt=The nerdy one
The speed at which energy or signals travel down a cable is actually the speed of the electromagnetic wave, not the movement of electrons. Electromagnetic wave propagation is fast and depends on the dielectric constant of the material. In a vacuum the wave travels at the speed of light and almost that fast in air.
+ojama1987 bc she talkes about being depressed and black once and now its "fun" to relentlessly shit on her despite her not being in the video, like ok your sense of fun might be kinda fucked.
You guys fail to remember that every new employee to RT or AH etc, gets shit on relentlessly, by their co-workers and by the community. It's like an initiation. Everyone shit on Jeremy and Matt when they started, now Jeremy gets the normal amount of shit from everyone. Andy gets shit on for the fails channel, Mica gets shit on because shes still new.
in an off topic that was with james and elyse, gavin brought up the depersonalization again, in a bit more of a genuine manner, and i immediately thought of this podcast, when he was half jokingly talking about it
10:46 FRIGGIN LOVE HAW FLAKES!!! Ate them as a kid, was one of my favourite things along with white rabbit candy, ya know, the stickiest, most solid chewy candy ever with the edible rice paper wrapped around it. Sometimes for haw flakes you got the ones that are stuck together, it was so good.
Not digging the guys making fun of Gavin to this extent like he was being really serious and very confused? Depersonalization and disassociation is a heavy subject. I hope Gavin is able to able to get the assistance he needs. He shouldn't be made fun of for finding a way to ground himself with video games and a way to cope. :/
I watched them discuss the topic twice to see what you were seeing and didn't see them teasing him. If anything they listened to him and even agreed with him about feeling similar at times themselves. Gavin knows how to word something funny to get a laugh and that's what you saw them do, methinks. Accusing people of making fun of a potential mental illness is not cool.
Abigail Bailey It's like sometimes you guys forget who and what you're watching This is offtopic, roosterteeth, they always shit on gavin and that's just their personality. Also, they didn't want the podcast to get too depressing
35:55 What Gavin was saying about time being valuable, they made a movie about it quite a while ago. It's called In Time and it had Justin Timberlake in it. Pretty interesting concept
Ryan talking about putting meat in bleach reminded me of an experiment we did at school. our biology teacher decided "we're going to replicate a stomach!" got some raw chicken, in a test tube with some acid at about the same level as stomach acid, in a water bath at stomach temperature, overnight. Came back the next day and not surprisingly, it smelled like death. It was the worst thing. it was so bad we had to clear out the entire corridor and air out the room after getting rid of the half digested chicken.
YES. THANK YOU, GAVIN FREE! Making the point decent AH viewers have been trying to make for YEARS! If one person ruins your video experience, that sounds like an internal problem that you must work out for yourself.
He did some bad shit, but honestly i just can't bring myself to hate him. He was my favorite ah member (Matt is now) it's just disappointing learning what he's done. I hope everyone involved in the incidents can recover
Ryan's explanation of depression is so true - in retrospect. At the time being, I felt like I was feeling nothing at all when in reality I was feeling too many things at once. Never thought about it that way.
