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Off Topic: Ep. 48 - I Never Asked For This

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The AH Crew sit down to talk Pumpkins, Al Sharpton, Earthbound and more on this week's Off Topic! This episode originally aired October 28, 2016 and is sponsored by Battlefield 1 (bit.ly/2ePqBzv) and MVMT Watches (bit.ly/2bd8MJW)
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Off Topic: Ep. 48 - I Never Asked For This
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5 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 1,2 тыс.

@Cold_Ham_on_Rye 7 лет назад

"I'm going to beat you to death in a god damed aqua bat costume" That may be the fucking funniest thing I have ever heard in my life

@zoeblack7710 7 лет назад

matsta177 What does laughing like a girl entail?

@TheCakenukeism 7 лет назад

When Michael said "I bought that in Germany" you could tell the genuine just pure sadness

@PotatoTheQuick 7 лет назад

When Gavin says he will hold something, he isn't going to hold it. He's going to fail, every time. It is glorious.

@supercatman1 7 лет назад

haven't we already learned this from the kicking the desk episode......?

@SonicHalo9107 7 лет назад

To be fair, Ryan punched it at a side that would have knocked the pumpkin out of Gavin's hands from where he was holding it. But yeah I think for now on, let someone else hold something instead of Gavin as he is going to fail at simply holding it.

@johnny2003 7 лет назад

PotatoTheQuick that was all Ryan's fault. He saw where Gavin was holding it. Ryan punched from a side angle. Side note. That was punishment for Michael being a pussy and drinking water.

@night4345 7 лет назад

Ryan had his job, punch through the pumpkin. Gavin's just a giant pussy and didn't hold the pumpkin effectively because he didn't want his hands close to Ryan's punch.

@b3stnoobever 7 лет назад

Not to mention just like the monitor, Gavin recoiled instead of holding it in place, and let go of the pumpkin.

@RobloxGamingCallum 7 лет назад

when michael says he almost punched his water over in the beginning...the foreshadowing is strong

@adriansmith2639 7 лет назад

"I'm gonna fucking beat you to death! I'm gonna beat you to death in a goddamn Aquabats costume! You stupid fuck!"-Michael Jones (on his relationship with Gavin Free) 2016

@zonianfjb 7 лет назад

I think he was talking to Ryan. If he wasn't he should have been.

@Tobacco_Bowls 7 лет назад

Clearly pointed at Gav.

@Isaygoodday5 7 лет назад

zonianfjb clearly and rightfully directed at Gavin

@zonianfjb 7 лет назад

you spelt 'wrongfully' wrong. because you haven't a clue about everything, including spelling.

@Tobacco_Bowls 7 лет назад

zonianfjb Capitalize your sentences heathen.

@Blechhower 7 лет назад

This is a good way to turn 1 german beerglass into thirtysix german beerglasses.

@Blueeagle113 7 лет назад

lol best response I have seen

@TheDeadbison 7 лет назад

Marcus Nörren so I just realized what this joke meant.....after weeks

@rafaaza2112 7 лет назад

Hey, where did Michael get the glass from?

@yourunclesteve3315 7 лет назад

Gavin: Can I hold your baby? Mother: sure *baby falls to the floor*, *Gavin's shocked face*

@jessew3047 7 лет назад

"I don't know how this happened. Let me review the footage"

@jilles13nl 7 лет назад

as soon as they hand him the baby he just pulls his arms away and yells "HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?"

@zonianfjb 7 лет назад

Gavin: Can I hold your baby? Ryan: Sure. Ryan slam dunks the baby down onto Gavin's hands away from Gavin's arms. Baby goes through Gavin's hands and lands on the floor and everyone on the internet blames him because he was technically the last to touch it. And because he's English. That's a MUCH more accurate analogy.

@Isaygoodday5 7 лет назад

zonianfjb no here's a more accurate analogy: Gavin: can I hold your baby? Mother: sure *hands over baby* Gavin: *drops baby* you handed it to me wrong! It's like 90% your fault.

@hannahmusum1693 7 лет назад

I seriously thought Michael was going to crush Gavin for a moment

@KlintKaras 7 лет назад

I think Michael thought he was going to aswell .

@joleighfoster9620 7 лет назад

Klint Karas when does Michael not think he's going to crush Gavin lol

@Ataku12 7 лет назад

I thought they were gonna fuck. Looks like we were all left disappointed

@Wolffang731 7 лет назад

Ryan Pumpkin Puncher Haywood

@Providence83 7 лет назад

Ryan the pumpkin punching guy

@grizlerber 7 лет назад

Providence83 death battle pumpkin puncher vs horse puncher.

@Ytomany 7 лет назад

Why the fuck is this comment so popular lol I don't understand

@KingGayCockroach 7 лет назад

Ryan The Pumpkin Haymaker Haywood

@johnosorio3243 7 лет назад

Wolffang731 Gavin "The holder(not going to hold jack shit)" Free

@Doctor_Kite 7 лет назад

I find it hilarious that when Gavin asks the group at 43:46 who is going to have a kid next, he already knew that Michael was having a kid.

@nemokid1220 7 лет назад

5:47 "Oh, you've got a shot glass!" uhhh, Gavin, he also has a shank

@papayapoop 7 лет назад

remember when everyone hated Jeremy? idk, I just remembered that right now, because now he just seems to fit right in, and it's super neat. I'm glad he's an achievement hunter.

@BasicallyBananas 7 лет назад

People hated the package of Matt and Jeremy. Matt is the true devil.

@joeychaplin1184 7 лет назад

My Grandma Died He's really not, I love Matt.

@ajesco 7 лет назад

Isaac Aguilar Heh, remember when everyone hated Ryan...?

@GearsNerd13 7 лет назад

AJ The portal Mario and CTT I was just like who the fuck was this

@ajesco 7 лет назад

GearsNerd13 Lel, remember when he won the Minecraft Potions Let's Play? Everyone went berserk.

@decaf4450 7 лет назад

"for the audio listeners... ..he cracked it there, and there.." *points at places on the pumpkin * thanks, real fucking helpful, Jeremy..

@andersonneil2293 7 лет назад

Cuddle Spooks actually it was pretty useful for me. I learned that there was 2 cracks, though I had no idea where.

@decaf4450 7 лет назад

Neil Anderson well, me too, but this isnt just audio though

@andersonneil2293 7 лет назад

Cuddle Spooks I listened to it yesterday via audio. Just was watching the start to see the specifics

@gummyhaya 7 лет назад

What do you want him to say, the upper middle quadrant? Like it hardly matters.

@decaf4450 7 лет назад

CRACKA JACK he could've said that it was cracked and leave it at that, but it was just a joke :P

@SmithyOneTwelve 7 лет назад

Are Achievement Hunter the only people that could get away with destroying their set, then proceed to clean it up and have it be an actual part of the podcast?

@Jhtocp 7 лет назад

I'd say the RT podcast can get away with some destruction (i.e table hammer) and On the Spot, but AH takes it to a whole new level.

@Augminion 7 лет назад

Smithyonetwelve Cowchop? Though they don't do podcasts, it happens all the time on the show.

@lifeiscrap103 7 лет назад

I fully believe Achievement Hunter is the only group where one member can beat another one of it's members to death while wearing an Aqua Bats costume, and then continue the Podcast on top of their broken corpse.

@PHANTOMCOWGIRL 7 лет назад

But they can't do the same without the Aqua Bats costume, that's just rude.

@TheRedRobin96 7 лет назад

Well that's the thing about a podcast, it's not necessarily about what's going on on screen but what's being said. They never stopped talking, there wasn't like five minutes of someone sweeping up glass and then they started talking again. Plus this broadcast live and then uploaded later and they didn't cut it because people would have flipped bricks if they had.

@starkman8773 7 лет назад

3:35...... sometimes Im michael, sometimes im jeremy

@likedislike7567 7 лет назад

Starkman87 *I'm. *I'm.

@mildlyamusinggirl6937 7 лет назад

Conall T Congrats on your basic understanding of the English language! Want a sticker, champ?

@erica5612 7 лет назад

+Conall T Conall, my man, how unnecessary are you today? It's something you need to ask yourself...

@likedislike7567 7 лет назад

Starkman87 No! I want a cookie!

@likedislike7567 7 лет назад

MildlyAmusingGirl You think you are pretty amusing don't you... ;)

@timinimification 7 лет назад

5:53 Michael contemplates glassing Gavin with the broken end of his favourite glass.

@Nikki8548 7 лет назад

lmao at about 5:50, Gavin is admiring Michael's new shot glass.... Nope. Not a shot glass, Gavin... it IS, however, gonna be the biggest piece of evidence when they're investigating your murder.

@acel390 7 лет назад

both the motive and the murder weapon

@Mach15ghost 7 лет назад

YuzukiShizu looking at Michael's face when Gavin said that, I legit thought the same thing

@jilles13nl 7 лет назад

i honestly thought for a second Micheal was gonna stab at Gavin based on the way he firmly grabbed it and turned towards him.

@Nikki8548 7 лет назад

Oh god, me too. and you can't see how he's looking at Gavin there, but you KNOW it's terrifying

@fufufuaru 6 лет назад

lol true, it really looked like Michael's gonna shank him

@loladgomez 7 лет назад

gavin: who do you think out of us will have a kid next? michael was looking directly at him like 'dont you fucking dare spoil that lindsays pregnant'

@iCantSay 7 лет назад

Everything with Gavin, Micheal, Jeremy and Ryan is always gold.

@mr.strider6497 7 лет назад

"I'm gonna fuckin' beat you to death! I'm gonna beat you to death in a goddamn Aquabats costume!" This has got to be one of my new top 5 favorite Achievement Hunter quotes.

@vadoom3353 7 лет назад

Gavin: let me move all the drinks out of the way moves them exactly where the pumpkin would go if he doesn't hold the pumpkin proceeds to not hold the pumpkin Good thinking gavin maximize mess and comedy

@Chuzado_117 7 лет назад

Vadoom 335 well to be fair that was mostly Ryan's fault... after re watching this Gavin tells him to come in from the angle meaning in front of him... he was expecting to punch to go towards Gavin and if it did that mightve changed things but then Ryan swings from the side and off goes the pumpkin

@Chuzado_117 7 лет назад

right here Ryan is putting part of the blame on him but in yesterday's podcast they mentioned video footage of it and immediately started blaming everyone but him lol

@powerful7845 4 года назад

What podcast?

@DGGRevolution 7 лет назад

To be honest, at this point they shouldn't trust Gavin when he says "I'll hold it."

@shatteredreality_513 7 лет назад

For some reason, my instincts wanted them to escalate the situation. "GAVIN! THROW A DRINK IN HIS FACE! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

@CButtonshaw 7 лет назад

fight fight fight kiss kiss kiss lol

@Isaygoodday5 7 лет назад

Jessie R. so you wanted to see Gavin get his ass kicked?

@OfficialSilverMoon 5 лет назад

Jessie R. KISS KISS KISS

@bustedkeaton 7 лет назад

"I'M GONNA BEAT YOU TO DEATH IN A GODDAMN AQUABATS COSTUME" now THERE'S a stretch goal for Extra Life.

@Pixlriffs 7 лет назад

I always listen to the audio podcasts first, but so frequently Off Topic has those moments you just *have* to see in the video version. I feel so bad for Michael, and kinda bad for Gavin and Ryan... but this is hilarious, and it's great to see them take it all in such good humour.

@GOWvMatchstick 3 года назад

Oh hey

@markkostecki4558 7 лет назад

I feel like gavin uses all his luck at the same time (destiny) so the wrest of the time its just a shitty existence

@likedislike7567 7 лет назад

Mark Kostecki *rest. *it's

@markkostecki4558 7 лет назад

Conall T come on man

@likedislike7567 7 лет назад

Mark Kostecki Theres an option to edit your comment.

@erica5612 7 лет назад

+Conall T give it a wrest, Conall ;)

@KingGayCockroach 7 лет назад

Yeah come on conall, its okay. Its okay man. ;)

@morgancooper5342 7 лет назад

43:48 Gavin asking who they think will have the next child, knowing it's Michael. The look Michael gave Gavin. Priceless!

@ssjsmurf 7 лет назад

Extra life goal to get jack to play the VR game?

@JohnKerns91 7 лет назад

we can only hope

@poptart4325 7 лет назад

ssjsmurf soooo you wanna kill jack?

@Wogle 7 лет назад

To be fair... Michael took that pretty well.

@DjinnCrimsora 7 лет назад

Just by seeing Michael dressed up as one of The Aquabats in the intro, I already consider this the best episode ever.

@Xillien13 7 лет назад

At this moment Gavin knew..... He fucked up.

@jilles13nl 7 лет назад

ikr, fireworks aren't even sentient beings.

@ELJadeFox 7 лет назад

This the first Off Topic that I watched. It's going to be fun ride.

@tamingshem12 7 лет назад

MexicaKhight Welcome

@barneyisbaked9498 7 лет назад

Me too. Seems a pretty good start.

@abrokenkindofperfect 7 лет назад

"Who do you think will have a kid next?" Gavin knew exactly what he was doing he's terrible and it's hilarious

@jebba96 7 лет назад

2:05 "I almost punched my water over right at the beginning". Little did he know

@mattgiordano6095 7 лет назад

"I'm gonna fuckin beat you to death, I'm gonna beat you to death in a goddamn aquabats costume" - Michael Jones 2016

@iiGingiey 7 лет назад

3:09 is now my single most favorite shot of the entire off topic podcast history.

@DDnufcGamer 7 лет назад

funnily, if Gavin did break Michaels phone, that would have been a phone and a monitor that Gavin (indirectly) broke. Which would still be worth less money than Geoff is wasting every day just by having his desk...

@JohnKerns91 7 лет назад

lol

@OOLLILOLL 7 лет назад

Good thing hes stinkin rich

@pandas941 7 лет назад

"I almost punched my water but I didn't"

@NEEDbacon 7 лет назад

So now between this pumpkin and the monitor, can we just ban Gavin from holding duty? 6:45 Thank you Jeremey

@pater157 4 года назад

I love almost as soon as he punched the pumpkin the diet coke is off the table safe and sound

@bolt492 7 лет назад

If its important and/or fragile, DO NOT let Gavin hold it!

@ginganinja2143 3 года назад

My favorite part of this episode has always been Gavin breaking the tap. (10:20) 😂 I just love that so soon after that glass smash, he breaks something else while Michael watches.

@pineapplepizza679 7 лет назад

i was waiting for Michael to stab Gavin with his new "shot glass"

@thorinvalhalla5665 7 лет назад

The fact that Michael dressed as an Aquabat makes me super happy.

@ChronoTriggerHappy 7 лет назад

not a good grip? GAVIN, YOU MOVED YOUR HANDS AWAY WHEN HE TRIED TO PUNCH IT, THATS NOT GRIPPING IT AT ALL!

@tiffanywalder7117 3 года назад

10:30 Gavin “break everything he touches” Free 😂

@chrissalim1 7 лет назад

"My life is a shenanigans"- Michael Jones 2k16

@AlpakaWhacker 7 лет назад

I love the fact that the pumpkin that Jeremy Axe kicked was stronger than Gavin's desk xD

@MOISTblackHOLE 7 лет назад

3:09 that shot couldn't have been more perfect.

@kidsmack1012 7 лет назад

"im gonna beat you to death in a goddamn aqua bats costume"

@pandas941 3 года назад

3:25 is now even more true after recent events

@lifeiscrap103 7 лет назад

3:10 Michael's infinite rage.

@PaperThinnGlennHall 7 лет назад

extra life goal jack plays Emily Wants To Play

@locochoify 7 лет назад

One thing that I think most people didn't think about is that Ryan avoided more damage when he moved his can of Coke.

@blehp8602 7 лет назад

Jack won't play Emily wants to play in VR? I know what Jack can do for an Extra Life goal

@JohnKerns91 7 лет назад

my thoughts exactly

@raspberry3189 7 лет назад

The Destroyer (Beest14321) hehe

@Rizz_Messiah 7 лет назад

"I'm gonna fucking beat you to death!!! I gonna beat you to death in a goddamn Aqua Bats costume!!! You stupid fuck!!!" Easily Michael's best quote.

@Skrubenz 7 лет назад

1:59:00 Nope, that's not true. Matt from Demolition Ranch made a video about that, disproving that myth.

@BrandeeMack 7 лет назад

My new thing for every podcast with Ryan: watching his hand fidgeting. * sighs and rubs face * I've got to get more productive hobbies.

@phatbastard0alkaline 7 лет назад

"Oh, you got a shotglas!" While michael is thinking: I should just stab him with it...

@jmac4200 7 лет назад

quote of the year. "I'm going to beat your ass in a aquabats costume!!"

@BrutalFates 7 лет назад

Gav a optician is someone that fits you with glasses at a vision store, lens crafters, visionworks

@BrutalFates 7 лет назад

an optician does not check your eyes they are not a doctor.

@becauselionsss 7 лет назад

Brutal Fates yes they do, you get your eyes checked at the opticians and they give you glasses - it's called an eye test

@paigewaige3819 7 лет назад

you outdated meme, youre talking about an optometrist, who has nothing to do with the glasses bit at all. they just put shit in front of your eyes and ask which ones looks clearer. the optician is the person at the glasses place

@becauselionsss 7 лет назад

In the UK you go to the opticians and get yours eyes tested and then get glasses

@BrutalFates 7 лет назад

There is the Optometrist who checks your eyes prescriptions and such, there is the Ophthalmologist who went to med school and checks your eyes and can do surgery. Then the optician who measures your face and fits the glasses to your face, as well as putting together and selling the frames.

@pokemonhack1 7 лет назад

"Cremation of a dead body is carried out at a temperature ranging between 1400 to 1800 degrees Fahrenheit. The intense heat helps reduce the body to its basic elements and dried bone fragments. The process takes place in a cremation chamber, also known as a retort, of a crematory." thanks gavin for making me look up something i didn't need to know

@TheDragonaf1 7 лет назад

3 minutes in, already my fav off topic...

@ArkSylv 7 лет назад

Gavin: "I hate being the cause for destruction" ... *Destroys shit on The Slow Mo Guys*

@commissarcactus1513 7 лет назад

Now that is how you start an episode off right!

@danielbray5499 7 лет назад

that may be one of the greatest cuts to michael mid air jumping away im crying lmao

@Chuckle_Balls 7 лет назад

Dunno why Michael didn't just hold his phone and glass.

@kennyishere 7 лет назад

hindsight is always 20/20

@Chuckle_Balls 7 лет назад

Kenny Steadman I guess I'm surprised he didn't think that what happened could have happened, given that's he's known Gavin for so long.

@DDnufcGamer 7 лет назад

He was holding his phone, but put it in the 'safe zone' that Gavin created. The area of the table you'd imagine Gavin was going to protect when he 'held' the pumpkin xD. I just love how like Jeremy said, that for the 2nd time Gavin 'held' something, by just putting his hands on it haha.

@Alpha6project 7 лет назад

I don't know why Gavin didn't just hold the pumpkin.

@thiccen_nuggets3645 7 лет назад

he was holding it and still drop it

@EternalxGuardian 7 лет назад

it makes me so happy that Michael is in an Aquabats costume

@nugking2021 7 лет назад

I just couldn't take Michael seriously wearing that costume

@braydenj1327 7 лет назад

Why did Gavin not hold the pumpkin the side Ryan was punching towards?

@brandonmaloney9758 7 лет назад

you can see right when he's thinking about stabbing Gav with the broken glass lol

@_Thred_ 7 лет назад

Im glad Michael and Gavin cleared up the audio problems with the outlast videos. Sorry I was commenting that you guys were wearing your headphones backwards and just so you know Gavin, I did watch every outlast video and gave them all Likes.

@NexusDDD 7 лет назад

Gavin "Oh you got a shot glass." Michael prepares to stab Gavin with the 'Shot glass

@janel2930 7 лет назад

love seeing friendly friends hangin out and filming it so I can also have friendly friends so I don't kms haha.

@ArkhamJacks 7 лет назад

The galaxy s7 edge is even more water proof, and still has the headphone jack.

@barneyisbaked9498 7 лет назад

Classic android user.

@tomsogden 7 лет назад

why do i always miss this every friday, i literally pay for first membership and still watch on youtube

@SoulmetalKeyblade 7 лет назад

1:56:03 hardest cut i've seen in a while, i wonder what got said

@sean5hmendes88 11 месяцев назад

I love Gavin & Michael’s “Ren & Stimpy” dynamic 😂

@enjoymentgaming 7 лет назад

"I never asked for this" jeremy dooley 2016

@seanharman4543 7 лет назад

To be fair, Michael should've probably moved his glass because we all know how Gavin can be when you ask him to hold stuff

@gringoalarico442 7 лет назад

Haywood you hold this Pumpkin Gavin?

@kinsanQ 7 лет назад

The shot of Michael then cut to Ryan cut back to Michael with a different face is fucking hilarious.

@mariothedude1 7 лет назад

did anyone noticed the cut at 1:56:03?

@ThatGodzillaGirl 7 лет назад

Yeah, that was weirdly harsh.

@Walton1776 7 лет назад

Once children outgrow their booster seat (usually at 10 - 12 years old) they can use the adult lap/shoulder safety belt if it fits them properly. Lap portion low over the hips/tops of thighs and shoulder belt crosses the center of the shoulder and center of the chest. So Millie would be able to sit with out a booster seat.

@vantedmore1466 7 лет назад

i looooove when gavin is on

@joeychaplin1184 7 лет назад

44:00 It was funny when Gavin asked who would have a kid next: Michael, Jeremy, or Ryan. Little did he know Michael already had one on the way.

@peachesbloom 7 лет назад

Why don't they use a mop or something to clean spilled stuff? I always see them using paper towels

@masterxl97 7 лет назад

Im sure they have someone who comes afterwards. They can't really have people come out and mop up a spill during the show. They have to wait until it's done.

@adswellfit 7 лет назад

I'm guessing you've never worked in a pub/bar paper towel fixes everything; Spillage put a load of paper towel on it then clean that up instead of just trying to mop. Cleaning glass, spray a bit of glass cleaner/vinegar on the glass wipe over with the paper towel until there's no steaks, brass cleaning... you see where I'm going with this but yes it will all be mopped up and properly cleaned later I'm sure. They just don't want to interrupt what they're doing to go get the mop fill a bucket etc.

@sethb1689 7 лет назад

At work we usually just sweep it all into a dust pan then drop a towel down to grab whatever is left over. A couple weeks ago an entire serving tray of wine glasses partially filled took a tumble, wasn't fun to clean up lol, glass and wine all over the place. The mop and bucket usually doesn't come through until the end of the night cause it gets too busy to be moppin shit up.

@davidhenderson2022 7 лет назад

Michael raging in that outfit has to be the funniest shit I have seen in 2016, made my day, week, month holy shit I love Michael!

@joshm5489 7 лет назад

I liked this just so they can have enough money to pay for all the damage

@camerontrivett3808 7 лет назад

Josh M "they" it's gonna be Gavin

@yael666___ 7 лет назад

sick name

@SircoleYT 7 лет назад

For anyone interested, there are waterproof phones with headphone jacks. Its not a major point of ingress. I've taken underwater videos with my old Kyocera Hydro Life (no case) for example. Removing the headphone jack didn't help with its ip rating much if at all.

@EmmaFunsize 7 лет назад

Michael tried to drink water and the universe was like NOPE

@AnalogField 5 лет назад

Was anyone else listening to the audio podcast, but then came to the video after the glass broke?

@jackfry 5 лет назад

Me 😂

@coreyc8137 7 лет назад

Anyone notice the inception moment at 3:10

@warlord1usw 7 лет назад

That was the other universe's having ago at gavin too.

@sjcrocker98 6 лет назад

Seeing Michael outraged with the screen infinity-looping on him WITH the Control message mostly visible, followed immediately by "I'm going to beat you to death in a god damned aquabat costume" - I practically fell the fuck apart XD