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Bro that only works when they live separately im all for exposure therapy and I might just throw you in the water for first exposure but I will get you out immediately and you will always have a save word to just stop for now How do you stop the exposure with a dog I mean it would work with a husky Cup Huskys are generally really not interested in there owners but I think she got him a golden retriever cup a dog that will be glued to his ass with no chance to flee She should get her own apartment train with it not to interact with other humans without command and train him a very strong recall where he stays with you AND THEN you can you for walks with your husband where the two don't interact with on another AND THEN he can let him sniff and give him light pets when he feels comfortable To do that. And do NOT just throw a dog in his save space I had dogs, cats, snakes, bunnys in my live I would have loved to have monitors but with my current diagnosis that won't be happening, but, but if you bring a spider in my apartment you will leave my apartment and will never be allowed inside of it ever again That's why you should always be the only on in the rent agreement with the landlord and have sub rent agreement with the others so no one kick yourself out it's your save space
What if she was afraid of spiders and you come with a tarantula and just inform her that "George" now lives with you and that you two big fellas are gonna make her fear go away?
Difference is, tarantulas can actually kill you and attack out of nowhere. You're trying to excuse a pussy. My grandma was deathly afraid of dogs and still is, difference is that she isnt a bitch when someone else gets a dog or tries to suprise her with a gift
Its not about a dog. Its disrespectful. This is not the first time she has dismissed op feelings. Op won't trust her. She cant keep trust over a dog what else in the future will she break. No matter what the fear it is very real for the person. My son got caught by a pit bull mix. My son was not even 2. It took me a good five years to ease him into liking them again. I guess it is deal breaker time. I could be pet free. My sis couldn't. I dated a guy that hated long hair, he liked pixie hair kind of short. My hair is down to my waist and i spend too much on keeping it shiny. Still my friend but nothing more. Plus he is a military person, I'm too flighty for them folks.
Sadly you need to break up. Someone who does that instead of helping you with therapy etc is manipulative and mean. You should work on your fear cuz most dogs are wonderful but you need to stand your ground about this.
@@DGWildFire-fx1ddif he doesn’t want a dog then ITS HIS CHOICE. if someone was deathly allergic to peanuts would you give them a meal with peanuts and say “eat this you’ll overcome you allergy!” Because it’s the exact same thing.
Sure I can. I'm afraid of something, and you think exposing me to it in an ambush, then saying I'll get used to it, is ok??? WTF is wrong with YOU?? All of a sudden, you're a psychiatrist or mental health specialist? IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!
NTA, you told her you had a Very Clear Fear of Dogs, yet she Chose to Ignore your feelings for her own Pleasure... NTA. What you are or are not afraid of is not for her to change depending on her feelings. How would she feel if you brought home what She Fears to live with you.
Now it's a dog later it's a bike and later it's anything you hate. A significant other should respect you and at least talk to you before making such decisions
I would break up with her. She's an asshole for bringing something you fear the most into the house, I'd break up with her and then explain to her parents why you broke up with her and just move on
There is a difference between not loving and hating dogs. You don't have to love the dog, but trying to get ride of it sneakily behind your girlfriend is a low. I don't like kids, but I would never try to get rid of one.
Two dogs I have two dogs. I love them as they are my own children, my grandmother is absolutely terrified of the both of them. I now do not speak with her and have not in two years.
Lemme get this straight: instead of talking to u abt trying to over come ur fear with like anything other than putting you near ur fear bc she wants one and was like: ah yes putting this person I love and am dating in the room with one of their biggest fears and expecting them to just deal with it is an amazing idea! Like WTF that’s toxic WAKE UP AND BREAK UP.
As someone who once was insanely afraid of dogs, what she did is horrible. For you but also for the dog. Sure, fearing dogs is a bit irrational but that doesn't make it less scary for the person. Also you can't force someone to cure themselves. It first takes the will of the person but also the correct dog for that person. For me, it worked because no one pushed me or the dog to interact with one another but the dog wanted to play with me, realized my fear and became very, very gentle with me which she wasn't with others. However, I at no point had to live with her but only saw her daily for 2-3 hours everyday. And even after that I wasn't entirely cured but it took years for me trust most dogs. Throwing both the dog and him into this situation is incredibly selfish and I fear he truly has to break up with her.
Break up. She cleary wanted u to overcome your fear for her needs. She wants a dog so shes pretending like this is exposure therapy. Thats not how that works.
Break up. I have 2 dogs, but I hate large dogs, or just dogs known to be aggressive. I’m picky with breeds. I’ve been violently attacked by a lot of them and I can tell you it’s not fun, dogs can kill. That’s just to provide a fear of dogs isn’t ridiculous
He dosent want to live with a dog and he has that right... he did not move into her hoyse where she already had a dog. She went and got one and brought it to his home totally disregarding his feeli ngs... there is norhing ledt to duscuss... her and the dog should be re homed.
As a person who is also scared of dogs people always go like “oh but she’s harmless she wont dod anything” but i am scared anyways its like telling someone to go on a tall building but they’re scared of heights, its part of ptsd and overall i cant overcome it
Why are you scared of them? Also golden retrievers are one of the least dangerous dogs they have a very soft mouth sorry if this question was too personal
This is not how to treat someone to get over their fear of dogs me personally at 10 years old I was attacked by a dog scarring half my face and it took me a little bit of therapy. Not my parents bringing dogs in randomly to our house.
It still has the shape, color, and behaviour of a dog. He is not scared of a dog's bite, he is scared of the dog itself, just like how people have phobias that cannot be overcome. Your comment is very disrespectful, and that's comming from a labrador owner.
As someone who loves dogs, I still understand the OP. I was bit in the face as a child - left a little scar - but it was still pretty scary. Likewise, there's plenty of large, and loud, dogs that I won't get close to. Also, even a friendly dog can have a hidden side.
I used ro be terrified of dogs but i eventually discovering that its not thevdogs i fear, its the people who own them abd occasionally use them to act out their anti-social tendencies. Ironically these days im more likely to feel genuine empathy for a dog with an obviously shitty owner then i used to be. All of which is to say NTA. Someone so lacking in empathy and compassion should not be taking care of a pet
I would say it's you in the wrong cuz I love dogs but she just showed up with a dog knowing your scared of them. That's like throwing someone who's scared of the ocean off a boat
I love dogs more than people would never date anyone who didn’t want a dog. But what she did was not ok and tbh if she wants a dog then I’m sure she can find someone who wants one
But dog Im kidding , on a serious note, you two should break up. If she cant take your fears and boundaries seriously then it isnt worth being in a relationship.
sometimes those who dont know truely have no idea how things feel from annother perspective, everyone here saying he needs to break up with her are just jumping on the bandwagon and are just blindly agreeing with everyone else long story short, the girlfriend isnt perfect, no human is, she clearly doesnt understand how he feels when in the presence of a dog, and should have COMMUNICATED WITH HIM, rather than just doing this to him, he needs to COMMUNICATE WITH HER, rather than jump with a breakup
I was going to write a comment about how he should try to overcome his fear with that dog but I feel like the comment section doesn't really have the same mindset
As a person who is scared of dogs myself I think you are a little bit insane is saying you're going to throw away the dog I don't know why people in the comments are being so spiteful and crazy.
I wouldn't say its none of your guy's fault, yes, she should have introduce you differently, or tried to have a different composure something like that, and has for the guy, the guy should at least try to get along, I understand if he had bad experience, but if not, he should at least try edit: yall stop bashing me daaanm!!
She could sue you if you got rid of the dog without her permission because it’s her dog basically cause she’s the one that got it so probably don’t get rid of the dog. That’s my advice but if you have a different advice, that’s OK.
I used to have a fear of dogs, like I’d be scared of the small ones. I literally spent one minute close to one and overcame my fear. That was when I was 5 years old, just try to overcome your fear.
I feel like she’s being rude but you’re also acting like a child. Talk with her about it instead of acting like a two year old storming out of the house because your mom made lasagna for dinner instead of pizza and then see where it ends
