On Writing: Dialogue Basics! [ Sanderson | Game of Thrones | His Dark Materials ] 

AHHHH WRITING AND WORLDBUILDING VOL II IS OUT I linktr.ee/timhickson thank you

The less I know about Snape's private life, the better, I think.

For me, dialogue is done the easiest if you have a solid foundation for your character So it's not mostly a question of "Does this sound realistic?", But a question of "Does this dialogue make sense for This specific character?"

So, today I learned that "ej*culated" was a synonym of "shouted" in English. Let's just say that the thumbnail worried me for a second here.

I'm still waiting for On Writing: Love Triangles feat. Terrible Writing Advice

Tim: "It's hard making characters sound different, but not so different to make it a gimmick." Me: looks at the shelf full of Terry Pratchett books

21:04 Actually, I'd argue that Gatsby's "old sport" sounding overdone and almost like a video game catchphrase was done on purpose by the author - keep in mind that using that terminology was a conscious choice adopted by Gatsby to give off a certain image. It's entirely believable that he'd end up overusing it in an attempt to sound natural.

I think you're the first RU-vidr/author/writing instructor that I've encountered whose advice on writing dialogue has *not* been so general and hazy that it was hard for me to figure out how to put it to use. For example, you gave suggestions on *how* to give characters their own voice, rather than just saying that you should. And that was what I needed. Thank you!

When I was little, I was reading "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm" as my mom drove me home from school. I stopped reading to ask "mom what does ejaculated mean?" The look of horror on her face was something I'll never forget. She flustered a bit before asking me to give more context for my question, and after I read the passage out loud to her, she practically melted with relief before answering the question.

15:50. Yes. I’m a biologist. That is exactly how a biologist would talk about fungi spelling out words with the fruiting body.

It wouldn't be a Hello Future Me video without Avatar references

Thank you for addressing "said" like this. I remember in school teachers always wanted us to use other words, and some even had a poster with a bunch of alternatives to "said". Then, the moment I tried actual writing for myself, I immediately went back and just used said for most of my dialogue tags, because it just sounds weird to use words like *_ejaculated_* and I didn't want to sound weird.

I once read a fanfiction story of a few thousand words, consisting solely of dialogue between two characters. No action tags, no "so-and-so said", nothing. It was still super engaging and well-written. Everything needed about context and tone was communicated smoothly and naturally.

I had a Latin professor in collage who was adamant that we should translate passages in a natural, contemporary style rather than literally. Once he commented after I'd translated an exchange between characters and ended it with "Farewell." "Really, would you say 'farewell' to someone in real life." ...yes actually. I use "farewell" quite often and completely unironically, especially with friends and family. I guess it's a personal character dialogue quirk.

Dialogue gets a lot easier when you spend as much time thinking about how someone would try to tell you about the worst behavior they've ever engaged in as you might on world-building. You start seeing a lot of flaws, mannerisms, and thought process they'd work by and you can apply that to interactions with other characters. Of course, it would not be nearly to as extreme of a degree as facing the worst thing they've ever done, but you know the foundational work so the next part is easier.

I'm doing my bachelor right now (writing and illustrating a comic) and your books are a god sent. Seriously they're helping me so much with the worldbuilding of my story. Not to mention having some good reference material for my thesis :D

9:51 - Try reading Pride & Prejudice. Jane Austen is a wonderful writer, but she'll have a page full of dialogue between 4 or 5 characters without a single tag to tell you who's speaking. Was that Mrs. Hurst or was that Elizabeth or was that Mr. Darcy? Not tagging your dialogue is a good way to get your readers lost and have them stop reading to go back and re-read and mark up your book to figure out what just happened. Let your characters talk, by all means, but if there's more than two in a conversation make sure to tag them. (At least tag whenever one of the primary two participants changes.) Fun fact, your characters can use each other's names diegetically to show who's speaking as well.

Oh shit that passage was yours!? That was beautiful Tim! I swear I keep on making the mistake of waiting for the anonymous passage in these videos to have come from some famous accomplished author 😂

Full circle: It was watching your videos back in 2019 that got me interested in Avatar the Last Airbender. I had never heard of it before since I was in my 20’s when it first aired and I was working full time. Now I use your writing videos to write better ATLA fanfiction. Thank you.

One thing I'll point out about the untagged dialogue: that's best used for snappy quick dialogue or situations where it's incredibly obvious who's speaking. Examples --Quick witty repartee between two characters - if it's something that reads quickly, the odds are much lower that someone will get distracted partway through an untagged block and need to backtrack to the last dialogue tag to figure out who's speaking. Bonus points if you nail distinctive character voices, because then you can figure it out within the dialogue. --Someone knowledgeable talking about what they know never needs a tag to identify them, as long as their expertise is unique within the group and known to the reader. A professor teaching a lesson, Kelsier explaining the uses of the Allomantic metals to Vin, a doctor giving a medical diagnosis. This is because the sheer depth of knowledge being shown makes it obvious. Sure there's 50 students in that classroom, but none of them are going to be giving the lecture. If its ordinary conversation, please throw a simple said tag in every once in a while. Sure your most diehard fans and the hardcore readers are going to be 100% focused - that's why you use said: it's a short tag that is effectively invisible to most long term readers. But a lot of folks are going to face occasional distractions that pull them out of that zone. And if you've been distracted, skimming for a said tag is easy, and if it's within 5 lines or so of any given point, it's easy to find. Character voice can be trickier to pick up while skimming, since you're actually having to analyze the words said rather than just looking for the verb "said" "Said" tags also have an implied sense of normality. They imply nothing particularly important or unusual is happening when they're used instead of an action tag, and their extended absence implies a sense of tension or urgency. The longer you go without a said tag, the more momentum builds, and while that's good in some circumstances, it's bad in others. Dialogue written about a date might start with lots of tags and end with few (indicating the date is going well, the participants are very engaged in the conversation), or start with few and add in more (indicating a growing disconnect). A conversation between criminals that gets interrupted by a police raid might start with more said tags then usual, then drop them entirely when the police show up and start barking orders. (Indeed, in that circumstance, it's alright if who's speaking gets a little confused - those situations tend to be rather fraught, so the dialogue should reflect that somewhat.

I remember in V for Vendetta (graphic novel), one of the rules for V's dialogue (when he's not quoting someone) is that his dialogue is in iambic pentameter, which further adds to his V/5 theme.

Plot twist: Graham the Wizard Who Likes Cats is the protagonist in Tim's upcoming novel

This was super interesting. I'm a playwright so I write dialogue all the time but never think about dialogue tags (since it's just not a part of the medium) so I found that discussion really interesting. I do think about contrast and word choice and stuff like that all the time though. One thing this video didn't address (and that may again be because of medium differences between plays and books) is dialogue rhythm or pauses. I think about pauses and silence a lot because conversation flow (which in play script format is indicated with the word 'beat' for long pauses, through elipsis for trailing off, and through m dashes when a character either cuts themself off or is cut off by another character/interrupted) is really important in getting across how people are feeling. Example: "Yeah, but I just... yeah. Okay. (beat) Thanks." With different rhythm indicated, you can imagine this coming across different, like "Yeah but- I just- Yeah. Okay, thanks." To me, the first reading of this line indicates a person who's processing the information they've been told. They wanna defend themself but then decide instead to actually take in what someone has said instead of defend themself. In the second, it's a person who's not interested in hearing this information and is instead deciding to agree with who they're talking to to end the conversation faster and then maybe go complain to someone else about the annoying info they received without really taking it in. Some of this in theater is done by actors, but as a playwright, adding indications of how my dialogue should read in terms of rhythm can help an actor understand a character's emotional response without adding clunky stage directions like (sarcastically) or (teasing) or (annoyed), which I can tell you actors tend not to like because it's too micromanaging and honestly the tone should come through without having to explicitly tell the actor that the character is angry or sad. I kinda feel like this translates into books to some extent, at least to me it seems like stage directions are more like dialogue tags and using them excessively in both mediums is annoying to readers/actors trying to understand the characters. Anyway, loved the video just thought my two cents on the importance of rhythm/pauses might be useful to someone else.

I had missed the detail about how Tyrion focuses on human cruelty in his examples because people were often mean to him since he was a dwarf. Thats a great catch.

That "How am I spending half an hour doing this?" in the bloopers is incredibly relatable. Sometimes the most simplest of lines/scenes is impossible to film for some reason

The thumbnail is just perfection

27:15 dialogue vs summarising is also good advice for DMs of tabletop RPGs! You can save a lot of time at the table by summarizing in a 3rd-person narration the gist of a particular sequence of events or a lengthy conversation. Not every moment and every dialogue needs to be roleplayed in order to stay immersed.

The dialogue that you wrote yourself really grasped my attention, I was just about to look up the book and the author, but turns out it's you. Hope you get the opportunity to share this story with us!

In terms of "realistic dialogue", something I noticed just today in a conversation with my yoga students is that people have a tendency to talk about themselves or twist the information shared in a way that's relevant for them. I assume because people want to speak from their own experiences and opinions. Example: Person A: "It's so hard to just sit still in a pose!" Person B: "Yeah! I just kept thinking about what I'll cook for dinner tonight." Person C: "I had that in the beginning, but I do notice that taking more classes helped me focus longer." That observation brought me back to a memorable lesson I learned in a communication class. My professor asked, "What is communication?" My classmates gave all sorts of answers, except the right one. "Communication means you 'want' something from another." In short, people are selfish. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it does help to inform a more realistic approach to writing dialogue. I figured I'd share it. :)

I never thought about assigning different roles and perspectives to the different characters in a dialogue. Very insightful!

I like using action tags for another reason, which you even indirectly pointed out: To slow down the dialogue. Implying longer pauses or hesitation, make an exchange feel awkward (because the characters themselves feel awkward), or to give a little extra weight to something stated without resorting to just putting in a line that says, "Beat."

Well that's a thumbnail I could have gone without seeing in my life.

My biggest challenge with writing dialogue in a book is not the dialogue itself but framing the narration around it to not make it look like a screenplay

I don't write or worldbuild but I love what you do. I hope all the writers/worldbuilders are stoked about your book

Please tell me the internal title page for volume 2 actually says "volume two: electric boogaloo"

“A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus: 1. What am I trying to say? 2. What words will express it? 3. What image or idiom will make it clearer? 4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?" -- George Orwell This quote has been my silent editor and muse for ages.

that is... definitely a thumbnail, there's no denying lmao

When you mentioned that it's OK if they sometimes sound the same, that reminded me that in Stormlight Archives Shallan and Kaladin sound very similar to each other when they get mad or just let loose, because they use words the same way and have no problem letting loose with insults.

i know this doesn't mean much coming from someone you don't know, but your writing is really comforting to read. i hope you go far.

The focus of the characters is easily one of those important things that tend to get lost in translation when writers give advice about dialogue. It's one of those things that have made me go 'this is great dialogue' in my own writing without being able to put my finger on why it sounds so much better than the 39 other attempts at the same scene. Really appreciate all your writing advice videos. They're clear, succinct and to the point with great examples. Edit: Needed to add that that passage of yours was absolutely beautiful and really touching. You really nailed it on the zooming out on the "unimportant, yet important" stuff, and pulling us in for the emotional kill. Beautiful.

I'm really glad you used Annihilation in this I love that book and also Jeff Vandermeer. I know you follow him on Twitter so I'm sure you're familiar with Neo lol

The Wandering Inn by pirateaba never uses plain dialogue tags. Ever. Action tags and character speech patterns only. It usually works, and it creates some really engrossing scenes. Sometimes it doesn't work quite as well, and its hard to follow precisely. But usually, its a feat of incredible writing.

7:00 Use the weird and fancy dialogue tags when you're doing the "write a short story" question on an English exam, since teachers so often encourage students to go out of their way *not* to use the word said. The problem is I'm pretty sure the takeaway for a lot of students, myself included, wasn't "for exams, it's a good idea to use fancier words to demonstrate your vocabulary" but "this is how you should always write, using the word said is bad".

Hey! Your videos are not only super helpful but also so entertaining and fun to watch! I really like your editing and cutting! You make this so fun, I feel like I learned a lot with you! Thank you for your hard work and all your amazing videos! :D

This video is genius, Tim. You have a way of making me see and consider things in ways I hadn’t before and shake up the way I think about stories and writing them. Thank you from the bottom of a confused, ocasional writer's heart. And I love that so many of what you talk about is related to fantasy and sci-if haha

You have no idea how much I needed this video. I have been very into my writings recently but my dialogue formatting for my novel (not the words themselves) have been really bothering me.

Bahahaha! Sorry, that thumbnail killed me 😅 Stoked for this video!

I want to add something to "set the scene", you also have to "RE-set the scene". I'm a forgetful person and also hate rereading just to remember. Don't like going back several paragraphs or even chapters just because I forgot a tidbit. I'm not saying to copy paste descriptions, but little reminders to help ground the scenes, IE "...the group briskly walked through the hall, passing the metal laced marble statues and scenic paintings." Don't expect readers to memorize expo dumps as if they have idetic memory or will keep referencing it to keep up. An ultra important point is to add flavor text referring to character appearances, IE "... She said, whilst flamboyantly flicking her golden hair." I am forgetful, I don't remember the title half the time and you expect me to memorize character descriptions you made only in the first chapter they were introduced?! This is like the floating heads problem but instead of no scene, you have mannequin stand-ins acting out the dialogue. An addendum to characters is to remind the reader who they are and what they've done so far, IE "...the young boy sang as he swung a pencil reenacting the Y shaped slice that won the tournament."

Holy cow. Every time he shares his writing I am blown away by how much I love it. I can’t wait to be able to actually read it

I love these videos. You talk in a round about, forgiving way so that it's easy to understand from many different angels; However, you never linger on a subject too long making the viewer feel competent. Then you'll make references to earlier topics when explaining another helping things click.

I took a playwriting course awhile back. The two crucial things my teacher told me about dialogue were to make each character have a goal for the scene (ie. convince, comfort, etc) and to remember that characters have the agency to leave at any given moment so there needs to be some force or reason for them to continue the conversation. Your advice was spot on. I just wanted to add to it, as it might help others.

10:50 One of my very favourite character introductions in all of literature is from Tolkien's The Hobbit, Chapter VI. The Eagles are not introduced in any way before their Lord speaks, leaving the reader wondering who just spoke that sentence. 《“What is all this uproar in the forest tonight?” said the Lord of the Eagles. He was sitting, black in the moonlight, on the top of a lonely pinnacle of rock at the eastern edge of the mountains. “I hear wolves’ voices! Are the goblins at mischief in the woods?” He swept up into the air, and immediately two of his guards from the rocks at either hand leaped up to follow him.》 This is so memorable because it is the *only* instance in the book (actually maybe in all of Tolkien's Legendarium, now that I think of it) in which dialogue is initially introduced out of the blue, with absolutely no context, with the characters being described afterwards. It's beautiful because it's purposefully made to completely break with the mood of the previously chaotic scene, providing resolution and hope (like in the movie when Gandalf suddenly appears atop the hill on his white horse), and it's masterful because the confjsed reader is immediately intrigued and curious and who this new character is; the book equivalent of a mysterious voice coming from offscreen and the character appearing lately. It just works. A beautiful example of how any rule can be masterfully broken in the right way.

It was incredible how each chapter of Six Of Crows and Crooked Kingdom switched characters and I never felt lost. Everyone had their own unique voice. Gods Leigh Bardugo is so damn good.

Stormlight Archives has the best "character voice" in my personal reading experience. Every character stepped into the stage and within 3-4 lines of dialogue their voice look and personality practically formed themselves in my mind

“Use said” Warrior cats: *chuckles* I’m in danger

27:33 As someone who recently moved far away from home, I related to this so much. I was thinking, "Wow, I need to find out what book that is." When you said that it was your own writing, I knew I had to buy your book when it comes out. Thanks Tim

First of all, thank you for the great content! Could you do a video specifically on battle scenes? The fight scenes videos have been super helpful, but they focus more on one-on-one fights

Another writing video and it's over half an hour! How you may ask? THE WIZARD DID IT! Also algorithm, make this video successful. Edit for actual response: 9:24 Flawless segue Also the dialogue vs action tag conundrum now makes sense. Use action tags to signal a change in tension or who's speaking. 10:40 Of course you managed to put that in there. 28:24 everytime it's your writing it surprises me. And this line was very poignant: "silence is the sound of something said far too rarely."

The timing of this was perfect! And the extract from your book was absolutely amazing!❤

Agggghhh, this is so meaty and delicious! Some of this stuff I knew, some I hadn't even _remotely_ considered🤯 🙆🏾‍♀️🎉I'll be watching this, like, thrice over, just for a start! Very many thanks✨🖖🏾

27:33 I have to say, personally, I enjoyed the writing you did here over any of the other examples you made during this video. It's very good.

The way you accidentally flipped us off, like three times, while saying “all brand new stuff” and then switched to your ring finger, was absolutely hilarious!

Finally, some real, substantial advice on writing dialogue! I've looked everywhere for a video like this! Thank you, Tim. Stay nerdy.

Tim, that passage you wrote was beautiful. I had little to no context for the story, but I felt all the emotional undercurrents just the same. The reason your writing videos are my favorite as far as youtube goes is because you know what it is like to be a struggling writer, and you put so much thought into it. Thanks so much! As a teenager who is trying to write an epic fantasy series, your input has been a godsend.

1) awesome seeing your writing in these!!!! Good luck querying now and in future! 2) I am WAY too excited to get my hands on volume 2 and I'm calculating how many writer friends of mine need me to get them copies for christmas..... Thank you!!!!

You should try out the monogatari novels/anime it has literally the best dialogs in anything I've ever seen. It has better dialog than tarantino movies in my opinion at least. Also it is a show that breaks every single writing rule ever and still is my favorite show ever.

I thought about this for a while, but now I decided to treat myself and bought both Volumes of On Writing and Worldbuilding. An early Christmasgift for myself. I neglected writing due to shedule and motivation issues but your videos always inspire me. Thank you so much 😊

Every time you sneak attack us with your writing I'm so delighted!

I've always enjoyed writing casually. Making stories based on prompts or writing your own version of a story. The low level fanficcy stuff basically. While I'll never reach novel level writing skills (nor do I mind), your videos help me reflect on how to improve my skills to make the stories as good as I can. Thanks, this is all very interesting and helpful

The bloopers at the end were a great touch 😄 love your content tim

I love your books and your videos! This dialogue one is incredible - thank you for all the hard work you put into researching and then editing the videos - you are an invaluable resource (and hilarious to boot)!

This may be the single most impactful video I've ever seen in terms of how it'll improve my writing. This has always been my weak spot. Thank you!

I love the character voices in His Dark Marterials, because they all have their accents. The gyptians have a really strong accent (that I even struggled to understand at first when I read it in English for the first time as a non-native speaker). People from higher classes or higher education mostly speak very clearly and with "big" words

I find it INCONCEIVABLE that using the same catch phrase too much can become gimmicky.

The dialogue scene at the end you wrote is lovely! Especially the "silence is the sound of something said far to rarely", absolutely gorgeous.

Always to see you sharing your writing in videos, Tim!

Your passage was beautiful

Please be careful with what you read. Depression is a difficult thing to handle, and suicide is not an actual solution. Covering such a novel so deeply can really have serious ramifications. I am devoted to you. I cried when Mishka passed. I have rewatched most of the videos that complimented or critiqued The Last Airbender. I have your first book on my nightstand still, eventhough I bought it as soon as I could have a physical copy. You are epic. Just... don't go dark on me. You make me want to write, but better still you make me want to write well. I don't give a shit what negative comments appear, you have been an amazing inspiration for me. I adore you. Please read more inspirational and uplifting things. There are too many books in creation for you to read in one lifetime. Choose those that suit you, but aren't focused on the dark depressed or deposed. You don't have to bright and sunshine all the time, Avitar was a good mix, just don't get stuck on a dark lonely road. I still crave your advice, and want to watch future videos. I love this channel.

You have made a lot of great videos, Tim, and this certainly is one too! What a fantastic video breaking down multiple aspects and in an entertaining way. That did not feel like 34 minutes at all

The part about summarizing parts of conversations to prevent it from getting boring reminded me of a thing that Ramez Naam does in his book Nexus where he will write out a rough summery of a conversation, while almost going through the conversation anyway. It does a great job of changing the pace while keeping short conversations from being too boring.

Hey, Tim. I honestly hope that you see this. This is the second time that I see something you wrote and think that is fucking beautiful before the reveal. I'm sure that many people feel like I do. Don't keep this from us, dude! Let us experience this, as long as is not damaging for you. Love from Brazil!

I'm over here making mental notes and trying my best to connect this to everything else he's taught us, but I've also never written any fiction longer than two pages.

Tim, you're a phenomenally relatable and skilled teacher.

I have very much enjoyed the snippets of your own writing that you've shared recently. The volume and variance of your reading really shows itself. One writer to another, I wish you the most profound success! Also: Thank you very much for the hard work you've put into every writing and worldbuilding video you've published. Between this account and my main, I think I've watched your entire series twice, and I've read On Writing And Worldbuilding Volume I at least three times through. Your work has helped me to hone and refine my technical skills as a writer, given me a greater confidence in my ability to actually craft a story, and made the whole process far more enjoyable. And I'm certain there are other watching who feel the same. Cheers, Tim. I hope to see you in the future.

Thank you so much for covering this topic, Tim! I always write dialogue first when I write a scene and I HATE filling in the description. I've always been conflicted whether I should add a dialogue/action tag to every line of dialogue, or I could leave some parts to the readers' imagination. Turns out my story would be one of those that would probably frustrate you to death. My gawd, my dialogue tags are so atrociously LONG. I think I prolly could dock a good 50K words off my word count just by thinning the dialogue tags and setting the scene well, instead of launching straight into the action/talking and squeezing in description between dialogues. I should let them characters talk, dang it! Anyways, thanks again and congrats on your books > < I've bought the first volume on Kindle but never got round to reading it (the kindle layout was somewhat messy), so I've just bought both books in paperback. Sorry, trees, I'm an old school reader XD.

I actually really struggle with following long sections of pure dialogue with no tags, I have to keep going back to remember which person is talking so I tend to appreciate when authors use more tags

The amount of detail here and the willingness to go into specific examples is more like a college lecture than a youtube video. Awesome stuff whether learning or reviewing

That piece of your own writing blew me away! Beautiful Tim!

Deep Space Nine has some of the greatest voicing for its characters of any work I've read or watched. While I love TNG and it also does great voicing, some of the characters were also very one-note for the overwhelming majority of the show, and this is often reflected in their dialogue. I can't think of a single conversation in the observation lounge of TNG that is one of my favorite scenes, but there are several conversations in DS9's wardroom or similar locale that definitely are. You can find a clip on RU-vid from the two-partner "Way of the Warrior," the beginning of S1. The clip is called "The Klingon have withdrawn from the Khitomer Accords." There is so much communicated about each character in the scene in both what they choose to say and how they choose to say it.

What an absolute Roast Turkey Dinner of a video. Happy Thanksgiving from Tim

honestly every little fragment of your book makes me fall in love a bit more with it

Silence is the sound of something said far to rarely, or however it was phrased, is a really powerful line, especially when used like that

Tim’s on a roll

These tips are really helpful. I'm personally more of a visual artist, but I've been interested in getting into writing lately, especially as it could relate to GMing for roleplaying games. Problem is, I often don't know what to look out for when it comes to writing. What makes a well developed character? How can I make different characters from the same broad strokes that don't just feel like they're a "logical result" of their environment and what happened to them? How do I know what to say and how do I make them sound like different people? I feel like writing/GMing is such a big and nebulous task and without people who know what they're talking about and can grab me by the back of my head and point me in the direction to look at and explain things in a clear and concise manner, I'd be totally lost.

I'm not a writer, but I enjoy your videos so much. This one reminded my of the fantastic dialogue in Vile Bodies, especially the phone conversations. That's a beautiful cover on your new book!

One of my creative writing professors in college had us do an exercise in which we wrote a short dialogue between two characters, but we were not allowed to use *any* tags. No tags, no action, no narration, no words outside the quotation marks, just the words the characters were saying. Our job was to make each voice distinct enough that a reader would have no trouble keeping up with who was speaking at which time, while also being colorful enough that the voices literally spoke for themselves, so no talking heads. That really opened up my eyes to just how sparing a writer can really be with dialogue tags.

First time on this channel coz that thumbnail got me.

Dude is on a demonetization speedrun with that thumbnail!

The way you broke this down so effectively is impressive

Literally just saw this right when I'm stuck on a difficult dialogue scene. Thank you so much!