One Ad and One Experience Led to Years of Depression. 

Fascinating and uplifting personal account. The harshest years of the AIDS epidemic (80's and 90's) were such a frightening time for gay teens to come of age. Thank God this young man had a loving family to help him seek the help he needed to work through the crippling fear that threatened to derail his young life. With that said, I would also like to point out that the 'public toilet' subculture- which, in his own experience, he understandably categorizes as 'disgusting' given his own impressionable nature, inexperience and youth- was in itself one of the few outlets historically available in the UK for gay men to find each other as anti-sodomy laws and systemic homophobia were not only grotesque, but also widespread. I just wanted to add that bit of historical context so that we don't fall into the trap of 'demonizing' behaviors/practices as a knee-jerk reaction. Had this young man been born 20 years earlier, he too would've been forced to meet other gay men in public toilets. Respect for the history and the struggle of those who came before and who paved the way for the rights we enjoy today is essential to preserving those rights for future generations of gay individuals.

The young man's testimony struck a chord with me because of a personal experience. I had not been close, nor had I seen an old acquaintance in twenty years. He called and asked if I would accompany him as he needed surgery and someone to take care of him. I flew to the city that he lived in and had his medical practice. The morning of the surgery he had me listed as his next of kin . I was shocked to discover he had no friends or relatives whom he was close to, there was no one whom he could depend on, and yet he was well known and respected in his field.

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Thanks for sharing your story Tom. You have a way of speaking to the heart of things. I'm sure a big part of that has been your own journey with mental health that has grounded/humbled you. Whatever the reasons, your story is inspiring.

Tom, how are you? It’s 8 years on from this video and I hope you are well and enjoying life and happy

I love you Tom 💙

Tom, you project a very bright, highly intelligent, confident, and clearly articulate persona from your shared You Tube interview. I would deduce you are much more personable in the real world. Quite an enviable position to those of us who look to genuine others for advice. If, through some oversight, you fail to protect yourself during intimate expressions of love, your "family of choice" will suffer irreparable loss. I foresee a future unfolding for you and your generation that those of us who preceded you can only envy. Please take care.

I'm glad to see him happy and healthy now :) Thank you for sharing

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Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's very hopeful! You're sweet.

I have had OCD too. 10 years of my life down the drain doing exactly what you talked about.

wow I really relate to your story, only thing is that I turned out positive. of course my only recourse was to load the shotgun in the closet and bite the bullet. I'm so fortunate for the crisis workers intervening that day 14 years ago. today I'm healthy and happy. often we're crippled by the what ifs in life.

God bless you !

Maybe someone could clarify something for me. The headline said that one ad and one experience led to years of depression. Doesn't that imply the sort of depression that some of the public interpret as being afraid or upset or down? Tom said he suffered from depression, and from the context, it appears that he was talking of clinical depression. To deal with depression AND worries about what it means to be gay can be really difficult, but is it really true to say his experiences LED to depression?