It's raining right now so this is perfect. Sitting in my car outside smoking a cigarette waiting for my girlfriend to get off of work. A E S T H E T I C.
I don't always feel special or important but this mix in particular over the past year and a half I've been listening to it continues to make me feel like I'm valuable and that I matter. Thank you
Sittin’ in my room doing a couple essays early, and I’m kind of lonely. I’m in a military family so we just moved from all our friends and family, I also just started college and my grades aren’t as high as I wish them to be, and of course I already feel bad about it but my family makes me feel worse about how low they are. Sometimes I feel like if I get all straight A’s my parents wouldn’t mind if I’m sad or feel isolated after the move. Or maybe I’m just exaggerating idk..
Well you're depressed for a reason. And it doesn't matter what the reason is, you should be validated. Theres alot to life, not everyone is handed happiness unfortunately, some people have to look for it, unfair as it may be. Good luck to you, and focus, you can do this.
Is impossible to obey anything since many years trying to know her family by my own mean is perfect to simply try to impress a favorite routine but this is not but less often listening to this is just a diversion from being finally just relaxing
I wish I knew how to write a song I wish my joy and my pain knew how to get along Losing a child I once considered abortin My sins being exposed as fear brought distortion And I’m absorbing every shot as they’re fired I’m triggered Because I was kinda looking forward to being a father figure I was looking towards having daddy’s little girl My little best friend the center of my world Those moments of hearing her very first words To the asking of my food and getting on my nerves With a hint of her momma sweet with some spice Sharp as a whip all while still being nice Seeing her grow and become her own person Learning and applying life’s lessons...her own version That stubborn nature she would’ve got from us both All while being the child we loved most From being daddy’s girl to having moments to rebel Having heart to heart moments while eyes swell Teaching her about love and how this life is not easy Cracking lame jokes as her mom calls me cheesy A song bird like her mom and to see them sing together Are like memories I pictured that would stain forever To be her guardian her eyes and her defense And griming every boy with eyes so intense #1 dad a scary title yet proud To have been blessed with this angel to hear her first sounds Was what I began to feel excited about but they’re all lies Replaced by anger and pain questions Lord why The title dad is now nothing more than a shadow Of a man I claimed to be all while I battle Was I a man? Even with the Thoughts of abortion? Am I father when I failed to match its proportions? And no matter the time I still develop tears So I avoid the conversation and let it build through the years Daughter if you’re watching please just know That I’m sorry that I didn’t get to see you grow I’m sorry that I still clash with your mother You know from the bottom of my heart that I will always love her Daughter I don’t blame you for this pain God had the final say and there’s no way to change What’s said is said and what’s done is done Pray for dad while his mind and heart runs This pain too great and no matter how much I write This pain feels fresh and wakes me up late nights And send a prayer for your mom cuz she carried you close The connection you had with her was what she wanted most.
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