you look so much happier and more alive in your after photos than your before ones. your final combined before/after image is beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time, because i know that 'buried alive' feeling in your eyes in the before photo too well. my appointment to start hrt is fast approaching and i am counting the days off excitedly. long overdue but better late than never. thank you for making this, it is totally inspirational. stay stong and happy Emily.
You look wonderful in your final photo. Do you miss anything when you lives life a guy now that you transitioned? What are some things that you had to get use to as a woman?
Do you feel something when you see your guy photos? I mean, when I see mine as a very manly guy with facial hair I feel sad and I feel like I miss him,like I neglected him. Is it normal? Sometimes I think or feel like if he were here as the guy I used to be obviously my whole world would be way different and I don't know if it would be better...
I think it's perfectly normal in the sense that I think everyone thinks of the "What If's" after they have transitioned. I know I do sometimes when it comes to people or relationships and so on. However for me when I look at old pictures of myself I see how unhappy I was and how much happier and more confident I am now and it makes me feel better knowing I did do the right thing and the only thing I could. -
It's Emily! Thank you very much for answering, I appreciate it a lot ,and I'm glad you have found your own path to happiness and that you're comfortable where you are at, to be honest ,I feel weird when I see myself as a guy but not only with me,I feel nostalgia even when I see somebody else's photos when they were guys. People say to me that as a guy I would have been successful and handsome and that make feel insecure ,when I see myself in old pictures I found myself (with modesty) handsome,successful, friendly ,with a future, everything was way easier...I was totally sure about transitioning ,but one day I woke up missing the beard I had always hated ,the "benefits" of being a guy, I thought ,Why could not I born like the rest of the guys? Why can not I just enjoy being a guy? I would have wanted to be and feel like a boy, everything would have been easier, it is wrong to be wish I could feel like an average guy being trans woman?
chris, if you think 43 is too late to be starting, consider whether you think it would be better to start at 43 than 53? 63? 73? time moves in one direction and if you know you are trans those feelings will never go away. doing may be scary, but not doing may be scarier still. sometimes you just have to say 'fuck it, now or never!'. i wish you all the best with whatever you decide.
