This video made me mad... as someone in a singles ward for ten years... it is NOT just about getting married. It is about keeping ysa members activated. #1 reason.
Yes it's often forgotten but yes without a ward to call home and friends people loose joy and gain sadness and go inactive its what I'm fighting to end I'm my mid singles group but the desires not there.
My bishop in my YSA ward at BYU-Hawaii doesn't even try to hide the fact that he's trying to get us married lol. The second you get engaged you and your significant other (whether they are in the ward or not) are asked to speak on how they met their fiance and why it's so important for us to date and get married.
That's kind of nice in a way, to remind people of what's important and all that. At the YSA ward I went to for a while and have been thinking of going back to (Been a year since I went...) I didn't even know who the bishop was they were so hands-off.
I was a frequent visitor of a YSA Singles Ward in London. The biggest bugbear is the clique. I know because I had too many bad experiences. I made friends with two Canadian women. Unfortunately they joined the inner circle and they were mean towards me. The only time they weren't mean is when they ignored me. The worst thing is when they have callings in the Ward. One of them was a FHE Mommy. She was constantly making snide remarks. She made the mistake of being mean to me. I nearly walked out and my friend witnessed it and told her off. She got released and she went back to Canada. She had since apologized to me on Facebook.
One reason to marry young in the church is that you can avoid SA events like conferences, cruises, retreats and dances. It is the most excruciating thing you will have to experience.
Older singles wards cut off at age 55. I went to one at 57 but didn’t know there was an age limit. When I found out after a month I said at testimony meeting that I would not be staying. Members tried to get me to stay but I was not welcomed by the bishopric nor asked to stay. I looked younger than my age and was ready for remarriage after 18 years alone and dateless. I’ve had no chance of marriage since. I am now 66 and have given up. The stress of being alone so long has brought much illness. So nobody would want me now.
Wow this is all new for me, there's a cutoff! how ridiculous, people get married in their eighties even! there should be no cut off. I'm 59 and people guess I'm in my thirties, it's not even about the looks, it's about everybody is worth as much as anybody else at any age... Does the church also believe that you can't get to the highest part of heaven without being married?
Singles wards are a great way to make friends. I haven't had good luck with dates, mainly because so many people are against dating in the same ward. But I love the calling opportunities I have gotten in the last 2 and a half years. I would not have gotten the callings in a family ward.
I haven’t enjoyed either of the singles’ wards that I’ve been to in the past year. I wasn’t loving my first singles’ ward, either. I’m friendly. I’m cheerful. I volunteer to do stuff at church. But I don’t get very much out of my wards. What am I doing wrong?
David Snell I’m not sure. I think I feel out of place, only creepy guys talk to me, and I haven’t had any close friends in my ward for years. I want to get married so I can get out of the singles’ wards! And other reasons, but that would definitely be one reason!
@@TBIhope Define "Creepy guys" though. Pretty frequently the only real difference between a "Creepy" guy and a non-creepy guy, is whether or not they're attractive, but the actual behaviors don't change. Other times they're just awkward. Though both unattractive and awkward is a rough lot in life. Plenty of times they might actually be legitimately creepy though for sure.
Who Knows yeah, I know some people define guys they don’t like as creepy, but I try not to do that. I say creepy is when you try to show that you’re not interested, but they won’t leave you alone, and it’s sustained for a long time, at least weeks or months.
@@TBIhope Yeah that's fair enough. Though to be fair, most people are relatively oblivious to subtlety when it comes to whether or not someone is or isn't interested. You can even be pretty blunt and someone still might not get the hint as to whether you are or aren't interested. Though that might also go both ways and they might not be interested in that way but are just being friendly. I'm not judging your situation just jabbering on, it's late and I'm procrastinating heading to bed.
I was literally taken over by my bishop to the singles ward from my family ward cuz one of the sister missionaries that had been teaching me about the church liked me a little too much. The stake President saw her put her head on my shoulder during sacrament, he was not a fan.
Well I'm from Germany, have never seen a singles ward in my life and to be honest I can't help but seeing every point you're critical about singles wards as something positive. I was thinking possibly in the US you see it to much of a prestige thing to leave singles ward. I'd be happy if there was something like that where I live.
I loved the singles ward and I love the mid-singles ward (31-45). I think they are a huge blessing that we have them. I’ve had the opportunity to have callings that I’m pretty sure I never would’ve had otherwise. I’ve met the most amazing people in both places. I think that singles and mid-singles wards focus on how we can grow closer to the Lord and by doing that we become the person that others want to be with, ultimately leading to marriage. Or at least that how it should be if it’s not. As much as I love the mid-singles ward, I highly recommend embracing the encouragement you’re getting from your bishops to get married because you don’t want to end up in the mid-singles Ward. Trust me. 😂
I just got baptized at 29. Made so many friends, got me reading the Book of Mormon and the Old & New Testament. Saved my life, but am angry that when I want to get married all a sudden I have to marry someone 30 or up.
There aren't any singles wards where I'm from and after watching this video I'm thankful that there isn't one..I'm actually a little put off that this even exists! I understand the importance of families and marriage but lumping singles into a ward so as to accelerate the possibility of marriage is nothing less than a little creepy to me. I'm single myself and would feel completely uncomfortable in a ward like that because it just comes off like a bar/club setting..it's another unfortunate example of how the church sometimes causes a divide: single or married, member or convert, served a mission or no.. I love you guys but this video/explanation was kind of a miss for me..marriage should not be forced upon anyone..
Queen Bizzle: I think you’re looking at it the wrong way. I think most people in the church wanna get married so I don’t see anything wrong with having a singles ward for that purpose. All your local singles in one area, take your pick!!! Lol. And no one forces you to go, you can still go to your family ward if you don’t wanna go to a singles ward. Family wards are the default anyway. Idk just seems like you have a negative outlook on it when it’s really a positive thing.
And if singles wards didn’t exist, where would you meet people?? Especially if you live in places where there isn’t a high concentration of members like there are in Utah and Idaho and stuff. I think it’s nice that they group everyone together so you can know what your options are instead of hoping someone falls out of the sky and lands in your family ward lol. I just genuinely can’t think of how else you’d meet someone. Online? LDS dating apps?? Unless you live in Utah, I think it would be hard to find your future spouse out on the streets lololol.
@@ddalgi-hime-07 Hi M! Thanks for your reply! I understand what you're saying but just because I hold a different opinion doesn't mean that it's a negative one. I don't know a lot about singles wards or of their existence so the concept is pretty much new to me..you have to understand as well that I live outside the states and have a completely different cultural background which supports my initial opinion. It's kinda obvious that singles wards are meant for people to meet which would be fine for some people and not so great for others. I'm just saying that I would feel awkward in a ward full of singles..I'm not that outgoing and prefer to just meet someone organically..and grouping singles together in my experience does not increase or improve the chances of meeting someone. I just don't know how I feel about turning church into a "dating ground" if you get what I mean. I understand that it may work for some and I don't discount that it will be a good experience for many who just want to meet a potential spouse but it's just not something I would be interested in. As I said previously, as a member I fully understand the importance of family and marriage, however, as a single person myself, I find the emphasis on marriage sometimes a bit overbearing especially when it's not possible for so many individuals..I don't think people realise the pressure we're put under to get married and start families right away and the inadequacy it may bring to those who fail to meet that requirement. I just feel sometimes that the church comes across as marriage obsessed and it's even weirder when the leaders push these things on you..
@@ddalgi-hime-07 in the UK it's mostly family wards and these ward boundaries are huge. Think there's a few single wards in cities. But to meet folk there's dances, conventions, stake sa firesides and activities. But all are few and far between. It's hard especially as there's a lot of effort to get involved. Most people work so numbers to these things are diminishing. It should all be based on friendships and marriage comes later, I've seen most of those who marry young and just for the sake of it divorce. Friendships and getting to know people always such be first.
I think the goal for people to get married in YSA’s is definitely a location thing. I go to a YSA in Baltimore and out of the like five good options in the ward, like three are taken 😂😂.
So a couple years ago, my dad was called as a group leader, in Germfask (upper peninsula, MI) and I think it's a little famous for being the smallest church building in America. Basically, they needed a building, but they were challenged to do it on a budget if they were doing one. So they made it as tiny as possible. There's 4 classrooms, a bathroom for each gender, a chapel, and when you first walk in, there's not really a hallway. There's the kitchen. It's really cool.On a good day, there's 10 people. It was so small that they live streamed sacrament meeting from our current ward to there for a long time, until they became their own branch (my dad got a lot of people to come!), instead of an extension from our ward.
Idk it’s kinda hard living in a singles ward, in a small town. Been here for 2 years. No dates yet, doesn’t help being socially awkward and kinda introverted. I get upset seeing others dating, or getting married. Came out as Bi like 1/2 year ago, and feel like it’s part of the reason no one has asked me out yet. Also haven’t gone to church a lot ever since I outed myself to my branch and to my family. Idk, kinda hard time right now. Idk what to do besides get my patriarchal blessing soon. Feeling lost. My friend tells me I’m not ugly, but it’s hard to believe.
My town in the UK only has two wards and they're both location based. I joined over a year ago and I'm 30 now. I'm pretty concerned about the fact that I'm pretty much the only single guy in my ward. President Benson's talk about single adult men seems to place the blame solely on men being "picky," but it doesn't account for guys like me who have no one to choose from and/or find it difficult meeting women anyway. There seems to be very little time in the Church for men with self esteem issues unfortunately.
The singles wards are a joke and obnoxious. The adult singles wards are the worst. Because getting together and having to listen to divorced people just complain. Or you have people with dead spouses. I stopped because it was just boring and depressing.
@Johnny Phoenix I totally understand. I want to meet people and have friends. But I felt just out of place so I found my own friends in church and then I could enjoy myself without the hang ups of finding a marriage partner.
I feel like women probably get a much better experience out of it, just due to the dating element alone and by nature of demand. If you're a woman there's probably no shortage of opportunity for you and you can have an out whenever you want it or decide one of the options available to you is good enough (or some degree of perfect). As a guy you're more likely in it for years until the first (Maybe second or third) option becomes available. The YSA ward I went to was full of very attractive dudes though, lots of guys that frequented gyms or were innately handsome. Lots of great genes there, not a great feeling being the only one overweight. (Not morbid or anything but some mild chunk). Only one woman even acknowledged my existence, but she was an amazing person in general no matter who she talked to and really lit up any room she went in like wow. Just spiritually I mean, not physically. She left on a mission though... kind of took the wind out of my sails, just since she was like an emotional battery that lit up anyone's day. Haven't been back since... WOW it's been almost a year already I think. There were activities outside of church but I never went to one since they seemed a little more personal and cliquey in a way. Like a friendgroup you weren't a part of planning activities in the open with the vague impression like you're technically invited but socially not. But then again it was awkward enough just attending the YSA in the first place for me. Being socially awkward is lethal as a mormon...
Every time the girl tries to have an opinion, the guy in the green jacket disagrees with her and then repeats what she said as if it was his idea. Everyone here seems so uncomfortable, forced, and bored
i'm about to enter a singles ward for college while my boyfriend goes off on mission :( im not ready for the awkward convos of me telling them i'm spoken for even tho he's not there with me
There is no mid singles ward where I'm at I is not fun as all the stake does is lump us in with the 50+ singles so you jump from singles to divorces and widower and of course us the lost ones we are all not aloud to have a weekly class even so we are all spread out to far and wide in home ward's mine has no singles over the age of 16 unless male I've spoken to the leaders as the 50+crowds chill but old and the mid singles are turned off by the lack of stake support so I've seen many fall away I wish I could meet lds lady's in my age range but alas they are not easy to find 😧I hate online dateing
I don't think singles wards should exist. The separation from older more experienced members, is bad for the culture and opportunities to see how a ward should be run and limits the knowledge that can be passed on. Singles wards have a bad way of promoting immature behaviors and tribal mentalities that are more actively suppressed in family wards. All the positive things you can get from a singles ward, can be obtained from singles activities and singles organizations. These should be promoted. But we should stop dividing up wards memberships by their marital status. There are more opportunities for fellowship and guidance from settled, mature, mentors in family wards. This is more important for young single adults. Man of whom wind up floundering.
I used to attend the Britannia YSA Ward in Central London as well as a family Ward in West London suburb. I made many friends in that YSA Ward. The biggest bugbear are the cliques. I met ladies from Canada and made them feel and were friendly towards me. They joined the clique. They were mean towards those outside the inner circle. One of them became FHE ‘Mommy’. I supported FHE. She was mean towards me and if wasn’t mean she ignored me. She made the mistake of mistake of being mean to me. My friend witnessed it an told her off. She has since apologised to me on Facebook. I’m not on speaking terms with the other lady. I love YSA but the Area Presidency,The Stake Presidency and The Bishopric need to address the issues of the cliques factor. I had seen those who joined the Church either became less active or moved to a family Ward.
There are two types of Singles Ward . One is for YSA for 18-30 and SA 30-45 There are no Mid- Singles Ward as they are unofficial. Mid Singles have activities like Mid Singles Conferences and Firesides.
It's two forms of herding: once to get them at 18 to leave their family and go to a YSA ward. Then the real fun happens they hit age 31 and they don't want to leave the YSA for the SA or mid-singles ward. In some stakes there are no SA or mid-singles, so they have to go to a family ward. They often do everything not to leave the YSA ward.
Besides asking your Bishop there is also the meetinghouse locator. You can search your city or basically anywhere in the world to find a ward. It's pretty neat.
I've loved all of my YSA wards (3 in total) a lot more than the one I was in growing up. I've made lots of great friends and there are always a lot of activities to go to if I want to (even though I usually dont't). But since I don't want to get married, all the talk about dating and marriage in YSA gets really annoying after a while.
It's kind of one of the highest priorities for this life, and time is not kind to prospects. In my opinion anything worth doing, is worth doing with a partner. So many people, even saints, openly advertise all the things they want to do in their 20's and how they want to or are going on world travel trips and planning vacations but I'm sitting here thinking... well those are a lot of memories and experiences you're using up that wont have your spouse in them to look back on in the future, or to build connections with while young. It's kind of tragic, in my opinion. Even if those plans are just working through college.
I'm sure marriage is a high priority in life for a lot of people, maybe even most people. And maybe you really do think that experiencing life without a partner is "tragic." But not everyone is the same. I don't think experiencing wonderful things in life is a waste just because I'm not married to someone while doing it. A spouse isn't the only person you're allowed to have a long-lasting connection to.
@@f.autumn.1904 It's important to realize that I'm not judging, but: Relationships are built on experiences, and experiences open each other's hearts more fully to one another. If you spend your youth burning away Firsts, there's fundamentally going to be less experiences to share with a spouse just as natural consequence, meanwhile you build experiences that in certain cases are antithetical to a future relationship, and the years tick on by memories that would have been made are passed by, youthful love is gone, you don't experience the same feelings and situations with your future spouse in what is almost always a special time in a person's life, skipping over the young adult stage. You wont get to experience children as long, become less likely to see your grandchildren someday, miss out on a time window where it's best to have children (20's) as defects and complications get more common with age (Which of course you want some good years to yourselves too, which just adds further crunch to that concept as you want years before that time as well). There is quite a lot you miss out on when you deliberately postpone, or just inherently avoid, marriage and lasting, eternal, relationships. Modern culture is being shaped towards that self-first lifestyle as part of the dismantling of the nuclear family, and the wildly incorrect belief that you should for some reason avoid marriage during college years. (And often part of that intent is to sleep around...) And then, of course, there is the fact that it's necessary, no matter the sex of the individual, to have an eternal companion to experience celestial heaven and directly in God's presence someday, and go on to experience eternal progression leading to experiencing creation yourself. Then a side note to that is how without a marriage, there is no positive/ sanctified/ okay way to experience sexuality, meaning that any activities of the sort are sin holding you back from being clean. A huge problem for some people, as for some people it's almost like another fundamental human need along side food, water, and sleep. Another more subtle reason is that while you choose to avoid it, there in some cases may be a person you loved in the premortal existence you were meant to be guided to. But during the time frame you were meant to find them, you closed yourself off and they couldn't find you, meeting someone else instead that they don't experience the same connection with, or not meeting anyone at all- which for guys is very easy not for lack of trying, so I don't mean by choice. And I hope I made it clear that I don't mean "meant for" in the sense of god playing matchmaker (which would be fine), but as in the two of you having a past connection and intentions to meet in life. Related to that would be all the children one could have been meant to have waiting for their shot at life. My mom has experiences where I as a toddler would talk about my parent's wedding as though I had been there, watching "with others". I'm sure there are Plan B's and C's for everyone to get into life, but it's relevant. So yes, there are many reasons why delaying eternal companionship is tragic both tangible, psychological, and spiritual.
A) Marriage is a vital structure to the foundation of society. The Nuclear Family, for example, but even without children. B) Marriage is hugely beneficial to the health of the two individuals, as well as financial stability. C) Sooner or later leads to more children, which has a host of relevant benefits I wont go into. D) Marriage is vital to attaining Celestial afterlives. A man cannot enter the celestial kingdom alone, neither can a woman. Both have to work together as a sealed couple to achieve exaltation. E) Indirectly relevant to that, marriage is important to remaining worthy of those blessings in general, as we do not believe in sex before marriage, and masturbation is also wrong. So if you're unmarried you have no positive / sanctified "outlet" for those needs, which can range from not a problem to completely overwhelming based on your lot in life and the libido you have to deal with, making marriage a necessity in that regard as well. This is also why I agree with the church's mindset of marrying younger as a young adult and not waiting. Modern culture demands people have sex before marriage, even considering it a requirement before you get married, and waiting as long as you can and even if you found the right person feeling pressured to wait as long as a decade before getting married. As you might imagine with the reasons I gave above, that is not a healthy lifestyle to live if you believe in those points, particularly D and E (And even C in many ways, as having a family is important sooner or later, but fertility decreases around 30 and more risks of birth defects and other complications increase with age, prime being 18-28. Personally for example I wouldn't want children right away, I'd like at least 2 years to ourselves, which adds to a sort of time frame crunch as the biological clock ticks. As I'm 25 already, time is ticking for me as well as it would become increasingly weird as the age gap widens between me and early 20's. It's not weird for now to date someone 20 for example, but 5 years from now would be less palatable for example).
@@supercalifragic1551 I've never really agreed with that. Would be pretty messed up for God to create such a barrier to exhalation, leaving it up to something that was, ultimately, out of your hands in many respects. Relationships are a two way street, can't force someone to marry you, not anymore thankfully.
just a thought: if they stop using the term "mormon" how are people who aren't members of your church (i'm not) going to find their videos/know what they're talking about? i don't know if these videos are only intended for lds but if they're not it only makes sense to say "mormons" because that's what us outsiders call you/know you as. personally i don't think this "don't call us mormons"-thing is going to work. every other term is just too long/confusing to outsiders. i understand why you're not supposed to say it, i just don't think it's very practical.
Blondine vloggt exactly, they changed the channel name because of it but a lot of people still don’t associate LDS with the church. We can start using both to gradually start getting people familiar with the actual name of our church but cutting out the term all of a sudden is just going to confuse people who don’t know what else to look for.
I completely agree Christian and understand Blondine because that's what other's who are not of our faith search when seeking information on the church..but they really should try and be more mindful of continuously using the name Mormon..they've changed their name and made a huge announcement about it but yet use Mormon in almost every title..it makes me wonder what was the point of changing the name of the channel when they keep using the nickname..
Hey thread: Thanks for your concerns :) We get it, we really do. And we want to start using the name of the Church... but Blondine is right-- most of our audience consists of non-members. How are non-members going to find our channel if it doesn't include 'Mormon'? We'll eventually get to a point where we don't need to use Mormon anymore. Further, we don't think that Mormon is a swear word. We've just been discouraged from using it to describe our religion. Please have patience with us as we try to navigate this the best way possible. Thanks for your support and love.
@@SaintsUnscripted thanks for addressing this, however, you did acknowledge that we were discouraged from using it to describe our religion when that's exactly what you have been doing not so? Mormon Temples, Mormon Couple, Mormon Calling, Why do Mormons pay tithing, Mormons react etc..literally every other title has the word Mormon in it! I understand that you are trying to reach persons who are not of our faith but honestly I don't think you guys have really made a conscious effort to use the word less..not trying to trash you guys cause I have too much love for you but hey you have a responsibility to at least make an effort to tweak the titles because right now it's like 'Mormon' overkill...
Translation: Mimi hot level 10 The guys hot level not 10 lol So now we know what your experience will be based on your hot level! You're welcome people :)
