Overcoming Infidelity with BEN ARMSTRONG 

Beautiful restoration. Praise the Lord. Thanks for sharing Ben 🙏

Just a question. Where in the Bible does it teach adultery is two-sided? James 1:14 "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed..." Telling the cheated-on spouse s/he needs to "own" or take responsibility is not biblical. It gives a false sense of control. When we blame we give control to the other person. Blaming ourselves is a false sense of control because now the offended party thinks s/he can control the "situation" by their works. Plenty of spouses can say this is not true. This man chose a lifestyle, not a one-night stand. So much minimization here. While she signed them up for a marital class, he was getting sex from another woman. He even brought the CHURCH mistress into their home! Deceiving everyone. Over and over. This is a very very angry man. Not even men in the world bring their mistress around the wife. This is extreme. He says he didn't realize where he ended up, as if he had amnesia. OF course the amnesia didn't set in until after he confessed his crime. How could that be when he was very committed to his adultery, pursuing another woman, regularly, but not know how he got there. And to orchestrate when, where, keeping it silent, gaslighting his wife, is a lot of work. Choices. Nothing to do with her. Our choices are our own responsibility. But sadly the church doesn't follow scripture. And this "restoration" they're laughing about how the "second marriage" is SO much better than the first, is baffling. There are consequences. His children will live with this the rest of their lives, it's traumatizing. Seeds planted can grow a harvest. Just like with Heather. She was traumatized by her father's adultery and made a vow. She ended up reliving her trauma with her husband. Bitter root judgments. She shed tears in 2023 in a podcast. 14 years later. How is that "better?" Why do they act like adultery made their marriage what they wanted? Why did the lights come on AFTER the adultery, as if the Holy Spirit was not convicting him even in the beginning because He is our counselor. Even in the face of sin and temptation, He makes a way out. This man chose an adulterous relationship, which took time. He gaslighted his wife multiple times when she asked, this is mental abuse, her spirit was telling her, she said she thought she was "crazy." How is this a godly man who gaslights, leaves his wife tormented and open to demonic attack? I really wonder if this is a spirit-led man. He owned his mistakes? Jesus said the only way to true restoration is through repentance. He never once discusses repentance, asking her for forgiveness, but how they both owned it. ? It's terrible the church minimizes the effects of adultery with these types of "second marriage is better" mentality, as if there are no long-term consequences. These cheap promises minimize adultery. Life after adultery sends a message it's not that bad, you can have a second marriage better than the first! That is horrid. I didn't hear about repentance, renunciation of the acts, or telling people how bad the consequences can be. It's terrible. As Christians we know King David is our example. Nathan the prophet confronted him for adultery, not Bathsheba. He didn't say "they." There was no, "your part" in causing it. WRONG. And consequences; the death of his newborn, rape and destitution of his daughter by his other son, and death of both sons. AND his adultery is forever documented for thousands of generations to read. Knowing that, why would a Christian commit adultery like this "pastor?" Sorry, too many people need to be healed before they go into ministry or get married. If you don't take 100% responsibility for YOUR actions, you have not truly repented, and are still open to the devil to assault. He says he travels and ministers with women without checks and balances, and so that proves he is "healed" from adultery. What? The adulterer doesn't "get healed" from adultery, as if he is a victim and didn't know any better. He knew what he was doing, but when convicted, his story of "didn't know better" is tolerated. And, consequences for his wife, when his twitter account was hacked, he laughed, was ok with it, has to deal with it, but she relived the fear and horror and the "what if" again, in milliseconds. For the rest of their marriage she will be open to attack, yes the Holy Spirit can help, but he put her in a state of deficiency now. Sorry, I don't think it's ever the same or "better" for the person who was cheated on. Too many of my "Christian" friends say the same. I wish people would stop glorifying "recovery from adultery". His flesh and the woman's flesh are one. When sex occurs with someone, a whole host of spiritual openings happen. It's chilling how the mistress is kicked to the curb, no discussion on the spiritual covenant he made with her. No repentance, no mention. And sorry, it's not forgotten, our brains don't "forget" neither do our bodies. They remember every touch from every person, the chemical reaction in the body. The memory brought by thousands of stimuli. And a memory can be as real yesterday as it was 30 years ago. He brought that into his marriage. But, you know, it's better now. Don't fall for it. Don't commit adultery, and don't follow people who "minister" it can be "better" when they haven't dealt with the reality of the spiritual realm. It's ungodly. An "affair" is not a biblical word. It's a light-hearted word to lighten the sin. It's adultery, call sin what it is. Ownership over our messes? That's unbiblical too. It's not a "mess" it's sin. It's not "ownership" it's REPENTANCE. This isn't biblical teaching. Be warry of Bethel teaching. Research all the ADULTERY in the church and sexual inappropriateness.