Ever cried in bed wishing that you were at school but when you were at school wished you were at home? But at the same time you know that there is no home to you, and that everywhere you go, toxicity is everywhere.
An artist, An artist, but never planned to paint on her skin, An artist who paints with crimson color dripping down, Her wrist, painted Dripping,on the floor, Dripping,on a pillowcase, The only colour she knew, all she knows An artist, Who feels safe in pain, An artist, But never planned to feel the art of such heartache, Such aching heart, None could fix, An artist, but Never planned having a soul of such empty colors, An artist, But never had the imagination to picture such loneliness, An artist, But never brave enough to color her canvas, so that one day she could adore her painting without a damaged paper, So that one day, She could see colors again. -a weird kid:)
This hits hard. In November I left behind my dads house. The house I’ve spent my entire life in. All the good memories in that place poisoned by the screams of an alcoholic father. The house I had tea parties With my grandmother as a child turned into the house I have a dark memory in each corner of the house. This playlist very well describes or represents my mentality. It felt like a prison. I will say if you can make it through life dose get better. You just have to hang in keep working and keep hoping. I know there are people in worse situations then mine was but I fully believe they can make it to the other side and find joy. It may take a while but it will come.
i dont get to see my dad or pal or mal dad went to jail i cant see pal he dose drvgs and is a drvg dealer and mal is with him and pal is abuseive and wont let her leave... so this comment helped me as im going through depression u helped me 💗
I don't have problems with parents being addicted to things but I have major anxiety Nd some depression and I never get sleep because I cry everyday from my mama and dad fighting .One time my mom was going to leave and she told me to pack .but she never told my other 2 siblings .. But my dad got her to calm down a bit .I cried and screamed to much I almost puked .I'm only 13 and my siblings are 3 years younger .And I have so many thoughts that stress me out that I have oulled out my hair and then if I over work my self I either like in my mouth or just be deeply zoned out and I also have anger issues .I was told by my doc that my meds are helping and that I just need therapy I did it but nothing helped . I habe the sound of my mother saying that I caint mentality Handel it . She said this when I had a huge break down she said n this when my dad asked if it's because of things I watch/hear .( I watch funny things and stuff about makeup) and all I think k of is when I cried at the doctos because they were talking like if I'm insane. Last week I had a thought that if something happened to my sister it would be my fault and that I'm the worst sister ever because I didn't spend time with her. And every one would be sad all because of me .At my grandpaps funeral. I blamed my self for being a horrible person because of not spending time with him when I visited him at family gatherings. I can never stop thinking of the worst a d that has never changed even with my meds .My anger makes it worst . I blame my self for a tone of things that has happened .I cry so much that my pillows have stains from my tears . I usually cry my self to sleep when I do actually sleep with I normally don't . I sleep only on sat and Mon .
What are you doing here so late? Can't sleep? Ah. Coming to cry in the middle of the night. I get that. It feels nice to do that, so I understand. Take all the time you need. You know, I just happened to find you stumble upon the video where I'm taking a break. Wanna sit down for a while? Tell me about what's bothering you? Oh, don't worry about me. I don't find you annoying. I wanna be here for you. I'll try to help as best as I can. I won't judge you. Everyone has their own story. Ah, that sucks. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. You're so tough for getting through all of that. I'm so proud of you for not giving up. Of course I understand. One broken soul to another. I just want to remind you. No matter how hard it gets, please stay strong. Take care of yourself. You can't go into a battle already wounded. You can't wave the white flag without trying your hardest. This will all be over soon. And hey. If you ever need to take another break, I'm always here. Helping people is my specialty. They always find their way, one way or another. You can come sit down with me any time. I'll try to lend some advice, or just an ear to listen. And if this is your last time visiting me, I'm proud of you. My job is done. Go take on life with all your energy, and remember that you have one soul always cheering you on. You'll always have my support. I can't wait to see the great things you'll achieve. Before you go... I love you.
It hurts when home doesn’t feel like home, but it’s still your home. Parents don’t feel like parents, but they’re still your parents. It hurts when you love your family more than anything even if they broke you in pieces and you still let them do it because you love them too much. It hurts knowing that the little brother that you grew up with is totally different from you and will never understand you… because he’s way more mentally stable than you, so for him you are just a freak. It hurts knowing that this brother in question probably hates you, because you became toxic just like your parents and you loved your family too much to be rebellious enough to break the cicle. It hurts knowing that he’s way better than you even if is younger and will probably run far away from you too, because you are no better than the parents that broke you in the past and you know that your way to love will break him too. It hurts wanting him to be just like you so you won’t lose your only friend, the child you always loved so much. It hurts being such a shitty person. It hurts when you know that you house turned you like this. It hurts having to vent this on a youtube comment because you can’t say that in front of your parents. It hurts knowing that in my house i’m the villain too. I feel so desperate, but i will keep a straight face in front of the walls of this house. Sorry for venting, thank you for reading.
It is never too late if you can acknowledge the problem I yourself I beg you to try if you can to get help and try to protect you brother and yourself from more damage💞 goog luck
@@lily-he1kt You’re a kind soul. I’m really trying my best and i’m looking for a new therapist because the old one didn’t take any appointments with me anymore. I’m really trying my best.
as a kid i remember always thinking "i want to go home" when i was feeling uncomfortable now i'm starting to think that while i'm at home not even like things are bad at home, especially compared to others (which kinda describes everything for me; i feel shit but my situation isn't even that bad)
I want out of this house. I need out of this house. But i can't call cpa. I can't let my little brother have this much trama like me. I need to get him out of here.
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
I have good parents and good siblings yet I feel like they don't care about me. The only people who I tell my problems are me myself and I and my drawings are how I express how I am feeling yet people don't care for my art anymore. They all seem to hate it when I speak up a little louder so I can be heard and they say to be quiet then when I am upset they tell me to speak up more yet they never seem to notice when I'm upset and only when my siblings are.. no one has seen me cry in months.. I feel like I'm just a back round character who no one cares about or dosnt mind if they die.. I just feel stuck as if I'm alone in my room all the time trying to relax yet I get yelled at for every small little thing that happens even though it's not my fault.. sorry if I took up your time while you read this.. I'll let you get back to listening to this amazing playlist..
@@FakeProtag_______ARFTSAL it doesn't feel okay. I still hurt. I feel like I've lost more friends every year all because I'm to emotional so I don't tell my friends how I'm actually feeling and just say I'm fine. I feel selfish when I express how I'm feeling. Nothing I do is right. I can't even tell my family whats going on. I havnt cried infront of anyone in so long or told anyone how I'm feeling. I'm sorry. Nothing feels right
I'm currently out right now, and i was scrolling through RU-vid and i saw this playlist, and it really hits hard, i was out because my parents keep pestering me again, they keep controlling me, like I'm sort of like a puppet because I'm the only girl sibling, they keep saying "your the girl of the family you should be like.... and like..." and I'm honestly so fucking tired, of course i can't tell them that I'm tired, they'll say I'm being dramatic and that I'm still young and that i don't even do anything around the house, i shouldn't be tired of doing nothing, they don't understand that I'm depressed, mwhen they found out about it, they just sent me abroad for therapy, when i needed the most was their comfort, they sent me away so theh wouldn't deal with me, when i got back, they were fighting, my brothers just scrolling through their phone, acting like they weren't even there, and they never greeted me when i came back, just scolded me for being born and why i couldn't be like my uncle's daughter, how can i tell them that i lost faith in life, i lost my motivation, i don't wanna wake up, i don't want to live anymore if this is the life i have, i always wish that i have anither family who love their family equally and doesn't torture their children mentally and physically.
I thought I was the only one who felt the same way,I mean sorta of,like begin the only girl in the family thought that I always clean and you're the oldest one even thought you have a older brother who don't anything in this house,when you sit quitely,they found a problem and you shouldn't rest because you're some robot to clean without having a feeling,always got compared by you're cousin however,is hypocrite,not a innocent one,don't give a damn about other people and not showing any interest in her friends because she feeling like she someone important?...I was someone who always talking back,like a disrespect one,the misunderstading one,however when you change,They will always make you remember you're past self and the mistake you made,you're trauma...I'm sick,tired,I want to end up my life,But It feel I can't,Why?Oh..It's because you're muslim,It's forbbiden to think like that or end you're life otherwise,you're going to hell...And I can't change my religion...Why?Oh..It's because you will be and always be a dispointed... Thank for taking you're time to read
im abt to be free though ive been saving up and now have enough to run away and live comfortably until i get a new job! im so excited to be free from this shit show
Yall. Why can’t my mom love me when I self harm too? She’ll ignore them. Point them out but not do anything. I want help. Professional help. But I don’t have the time. And asking myself is not what I want. I want people to know I need help too.
This really resonates with me. Although home conditions havent changed much for me, my point of view on them has changed significantly. I can’t see “home” the same anymore. Growing up in a place with an abusive father, and being manipulated by him on numerous occasions to overwhelm myself mentally before I was even in the double digits. He broke me into the person I am now, a forced perfectionist, afraid to talk to people and vent frustrations, and even simply being in the same room as him. I hardly even leave my own room now, all because I am too afraid to face my own scars that have yet to heal. As much as I go out to a select few people about it, they don’t understand, and I just feel tosses aside and neglected. America hasn’t been really good for me either especially with trump and all (I’m trans). I really don’t know what to do anymore. Old plans leading to nothing, and wounds that wont heal. Maybe I’ll grow the guts to go through and be free from my own purgatory.
I hope you know that although it’s bad now, that time will change. The bad is what makes us or breaks us. I understand how your perception of home has changed. Especially with the impact your father has had on you. I want you to know (This may be cliche), but you’re never alone. There are people who are going through the exact same things. I would recommend finding things in life that are joyous. Beautiful. Like how the bird sing in the morning. Or, how the fact you’re even here right now. I know you might not be religious, but I want you to know that the fact you are an alive is a sign God has a plan for you. You, I, everyone, could die anytime at any moment. So, I want you to know that you matter. And, I’m glad you are alive. Other than all that paragraph, I love you. And, I’m truly grateful you have fought through all this
@@Ronni74 This just means so much to me. Even though this is all things I’ve heard plenty of times before, it always seemed so…in-genuine, and spontaneous. But really, thank you. Reading this has genuinely moved me to tears, and really, I cannot tell you how thankful I am to be able to see that, as small as it is.
The way i start to cry when i hear this songs is really weird man (maybe its nostalgic because in 2022 i listened 2 them with my friends and now they're all gone)JDJBFKFBDJ WAHDKGNG
i was living in one house since i was born. i was living almost in poverty, without friends, i was inschool i hated. i moved with my family. now i realise that it wasnt that bad..
Let's play list is really relatable, but at the same time for me, home is never felt like home. School was. I'm thinking about posting my story in stuff on Reddit and if I ever do, I'll probably update this comment if I remember. Stay safe, If you have bad parents, also don't let them control you. You can do this💙
home is suppose to be an escape from school and now school is an escape except its not i get bullied so bad for being a there's and trans ftm and gay so the only escape is the bathrooms in school but no there's a line up form them and you have to ask to go in and its just shit I have school
i feel like i'm the error,not my family. my dad is an alcoholic and clearly doesn't love my mom, but they can't divorce since we're 4 childs. Mom is losing hope for my dad to going back to a normal father. My dad doesn't even wants my mom to wear long skirts,he's possessive and jealous. We have problems w money too,my mom is becoming worser. my grandpa lives w us too,and he treats us like we're his slaves. at least i have my siblings and pets...am i the error? whoever reads this,answer please.
A few months ago I was dating this girl and we had been dating for about 5 months when we broke up, I didn’t realize it until we broke up that I was being mentally abused and manipulated. She sat at our table after the fact and ate dinner with us. In short I was forced to share a meal, a table and a room with the person who drove me to the brink of suicide. And all along I thought that I was the problem.
Listening to this till i move out cuz there's no reason i should feel more relaxed with my friends then my mom and younger brothers..and freefall (iykyk) isn't an option since my older siblings shouldn't have a dead little sister......
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
Yeah. This is incredibly accurate. Like... incredibly. [BTW - this is a review of every one of the songs and how they relate to my life and the title of the song, this is not a vent, do not think of it as one. I do not know why I did this] Devil town always hurt so much, my parents never got it (I used to play it in the car to try and force them to get the hint) but it was my go-to sad song for years and still is. "Mom and dad aren't in love, guess I'll settle for two birthdays" and "I forgot my name again, I think that's something worth remembering" are so foreign and yet familiar. Like... home. 10/10 song choice Numbers is also super accurate. Like, I always tried to convince myself that it was all fine because my grades were good and my parents weren't that bad, they never hit me and no one told me they were weird. But the line of the girlfriend just going "Hello?" always makes me think that he got a girlfriend and then didn't know what to do so he pushed her away. 7/10 song choice (the ending hurts my ears) Cigarettes out the window is just my mother and father's marriage, honestly. 10/10 song choice, kinda liminal Jealous - ah... the self-deprecating 'I'm not good enough for you' thought process. This is a key part of the loss of home 6/10 (cuz the song cut off) Rat. "I loved you, I loved you, it's true. I wanted to be you and do what you do and so abused. I feel so used"... um, abused child coming to terms with their parent's abuse for 500 Alex. 10/10 Alien Blues - yup. Just yup. Just listen to the song. Yup. Teenage angst. Yup. 9/10. Freaks -everyone is a freak. And feeling like that line, where you don't even want to wake up in the morning because you're so stricken with grief, depression, anxiety, PTSD, anything - that's what makes Home feel so foreign sometimes, because it's meant to be safe. And it's just not anymore. You're an outlier in your own house. 10/10 - also just a fucking banger Notion - this song makes me long for a time I literally never experienced. It makes me long for moments of happiness within that sea of depression. Very good pick. 9/10, one point off because you hear it so god damn much. I can't handle change. I never really liked this song. But it makes you just feel a kind of longing and pain because you know that longing is a lie. And that it doesn't even matter. It will never get better. That's the feeling this song makes you feel. I also can't handle change at all. I'll break down and cry and hit my head and scratch at myself and just freak out if something even in my room changes without my permission. So, yeah. 8/10 pick - it's been memed to hell and back, but it's still real good for that vibe of home no longer feeling safe. 505. I don't have an opinion on this. It just makes my chest hurt. And the lyrics are pretty good for the love you have for your parents and the hate you harbor towards them for the damage they caused. 7/10. feel better. I just love the picture paired with this song, first off. Second off, this feels like a ramble you say to yourself in the mirror and then follow up with a scream and tearing your own hair out. Also, heartbreak. I haven't been through it yet - never been in a relationship- but it seems pretty accurate. No one wants to feel better if they don't believe they deserve it. 10/10 Nothing's New. It's a pretty alright song. It's alright. It's not as angsty as the rest of the song, I think anyways. 5/10 blow my brains out . The picture paired with this is fucking amazing. Everyone's heard this song from shorts or tiktok. I do agree it should go on here. Sometimes I wish that I could give someone my pain as well. Just to show them. Trade for a bit. "Unlucky me, who's aware of the pain, all because I have some brain" - yeah. 9/10 help_urself - This is memes out of fucking hell and got cut off. 3/10 Thanks for reading all of this. If you did - holy shit, good job. You know more about me than most of my friends, random stranger! o(*°▽°*)o. Um, yes, i'm okay. Asher on Paws thanks for the playlist!
As a child I always felt so happy at home and school, I thought my life was great and it would continue but now nowhere feels home at times I look down on my balcony and think about ya know, later I got the feeling or hating myself or blaming myself for everything and nothing has gotten better for 2 years..
We have decided to move because of all of the trauma that has gone on inside my house, now that my dads gone we decided to try to start over. We won’t forget our memories with him, but just being here hurts.
I wanna turn 14 until I can runaway for a month, but since im still young, I have to wait a while,but imma save this Playlist, till that day, wish me luck!
If you're watching this hoping to cry your eyes out wanting to feel something again, like me. All my support and all my prayers fall into you. I wish you a blessed life. i hope you feel better soon. You're enough.
I love your hair (or lack thereof) I love your eyes I love your nose I love your gender I love your mouth I love your face I love your grades I love your heart I love your sadness I love your happiness I love your loneliness I love your kindness I love your voice I love your singing I love your art I love your practice I love your work I love your time I love your music taste I love your strength I love your handwriting I love your weakness/weaknesses I love you when your kind I love you when your mean I love you when your smart I love you when you dont feel loved I love you when you are you I love you forever I love you now I love you every day I love you every month I love you every year I love you every second I love you every minute I love you every hour I love you every time you cry I love you every time your happy I love you every time you are you ----------------------------------- You right there, yes im talking to you. You are an amazing person, you can do anything your heart desires, you can have fun, you can be yourself, dont be someone that you dont want to be, be you. Love yourself for who you are. you never know if you'll see somebody that you love for the last time. Live life, be kind to people, ignore the haters, keep being yourself for who you are. ---------------------------------- I love your neck, dont hang it. I love your body, dont cut it. I love your life, dont end it.. ------------------------------ I love you 1% I love you 2% I love you 3% I love you 4% I love you 5% I love you 6% I love you 7% I love you 8% I love you 9% I love you 10% I love you 11% I love you 12% I love you 13% I love you 14% I love you 15% I love you 16% I love you 17% I love you 18% I love you 19% I love you 20% I love you 21% I love you 22% I love you 23% I love you 24% I love you 25% I love you 26% I love you 27% I love you 28% I love you 29% I love you 30% I love you 31% I love you 32% I love you 33% I love you 34% I love you 35% I love you 36% I love you 37% I love you 38% I love you 39% I love you 40% I love you 50% I love you 51% I love you 52% I love you 53% I love you 54% I love you 55% I love you 56% I love you 57% I love you 58% I love you 59% I love you 60% I love you 61% I love you 62% I love you 63% I love you 64% I love you 65% I love you 66% I love you 67% I love you 68% I love you 69% I love you 50% I love you 51% I love you 52% I love you 53% I love you 54% I love you 55% I love you 56% I love you 57% I love you 58% I love you 59% I love you 60% I love you 61% I love you 62% I love you 63% I love you 64% I love you 65% I love you 66% I love you 67% I love you 68% I love you 69% I love you 70% I love you 71% I love you 72% I love you 73% I love you 74% I love you 75% I love you 76% I love you 77% I love you 78% I love you 79% I love you 80% I love you 81% I love you 82% I love you 83% I love you 84% I love you 85% I love you 86% I love you 87% I love you 88% I love you 89% I love you 90% I love you 91% I love you 92% I love you 93% I love you 94% I love you 95% I love you 96% I love you 97% I love you 98% I love you 99% I LOVE YOU 100% -From person on the internet who *loves* you.
Why can't my mommy love me..? Why am I always the problem? Am I the problem..? Am I really that useless and ungreatful..? Am I really that bad of a person.? I'm trying, I don't know if I can anymore. I don't even know if ill.make it past 18... I'm trying hard to be a better person and daughter and sister but it's dotn working. I'm trying so hard, mommy please listen to me, please love me. Mommy please love me like you did before.. I just want to be loved by you..
Crying on the floor like i am rn hits different,i've recently moved and back in 2019 (at my old house on new years) it stopped feeling like home,i keep on thinking we are on holiday and i said:"i want to go home" then realised i am home.
Any music playlist that has to do with family issues or your house no longer feeling like a home is just perfect in my opinion. The reason it's perfect is because I relate to it so much. The house that I lived in when I was a little kid stopped feeling like home because my parents got divorced and we had to move. Then we moved in with my grandparents and that house was great. After a few years of living with my grandparents, my mom got us a house and it felt like home but then we moved because she got remarried. Once she got remarried and we were in a house it felt like home. But the moment I was grieving the death of my grandpa who was my best friend, Grandpa and Father figure all rolled into one that's when my house started to not feel like a home. From October 2020 to now my house is no longer a home. My stepdad has emotionally and verbally abused me more times than I can count. It's a good thing my mom is getting divorced and we're moving because I want to be in a house where I'm not being abused and it's loving, happy, and actually feels like a home.
I love my family, I do. But with my mom constantly making problems out of everything and yelling about everything, I just don't want to come home anymore.
Same for me and my parents don’t support anything there just this basic straight Christian couple and they don’t even let me do anything and all my dad ever does is scream and yell at me then my mom does the same.
To the people wo want to commit, dont.. i say things like that sometimes but remember that theres things to do more than give up, you may hate the things thats going on right now but its okay.. believe yourself.. have a good day/night :3
i recently herd a saying "people are like clouds, life's so much brighter once they leave" but what am i supposed to do now that my Sun has left? they said they're going to paint the sky pretty for me in their final moments, how is anything supposed to look pretty without them? its all my fault
This hits waaaayyyy to hard….i left home a few days ago and don’t know if I’ll ever have to go back or not. All the good memories got corrupted. It fucking sucks when your told that your parents are goanna be the ones there for you and then their not.
It’s kinda sad…i was used to be abused my father always had hurt me and my mother years ago my mother and father had a divorce now. Live at my mothers but I’ve got a step dad now but he was a millitaire just like my father so.. im always scared of him but I don’t show it… never bully someone if you don’t know they’re story!
I had a plan to run away already set, but they were destroyed when I busted up my knee, I already had a dangerous infection in that leg that almost took it, and if I get another infection I probably will. I just want to be free yet no matter how close I get, something throws me back to the start. I forgot my skateboard at my dad's and I probably won't get it till next year unless he decides I'm worth visiting and brings it to me which probably won't happen. I'm probably not even going to bring it, I just can't stay here anymore. It's not like I'm abused, well not physically anymore, but I'm not even allowed to go outside without an adult. It's a prison.
hi, I’m a runaway, I ran away from home because I was abused physically and mentally. I don’t recommend running away, but if you do make sure to collect a lot of money, pack some food, pack some clothes, shoes, and whatever else you want, make sure not to go to places that are popular or you’re family usually goes to, you can also see if you can stay at a friends house for a little, if you have long hair and don’t want to be recognized then I suggest you cut it
I have a manipulative mother who was abusive when I was younger and she is still mentally abusive. My parents are divorced and my dad isn’t the best but he’s trying. My mom will guilt trip me by saying how much effort she has put to raise me. It’s true, I remember her more than my father in my childhood, but not all of those memories are good. My dad is in the Military so he gets deployed. He’s still a good dad. I long for the day I can live at my fathers. To escape my mother’s madness. I am the oldest out of 5, 3 step sisters and a blood related brother. I’m the only one that gets their hair pulled or forced into uncomfortable clothing. I’m underweight which according to my mom means i can’t be self conscious. She thinks I can’t lie to her. Little does she know….
Cavetown became my comfort music artist since my parents are kinda transphobic to me, saying that I’ll never be a real man, and if I was born in a different country I wouldn’t be thinking this. Hell, my mom even said to drop the whole [insert my preferred name] thing. I guess I should become a paid actor because my parents think I’m happy bing called a girl. My childhood friend doesn’t even support my decision, he says it’s weird and you can’t just change your gender. But, Cavetown gives me the comfort I can’t get alone, my best friends support me thankfully, but I can’t see them all the time. And I’ll see them even less because I’m moving across the country. So, my advice, if you a Trans person in need of comfort, listen to Cavetown.
I’ve just started exercising more ever since 2019 when my favourite brother passed. I have gained so much weight since then it hit me so hard I hated my life feeling like shits going downhill like I felt like I couldn’t go forward bc I felt like people hated me for being me so I started acting like them and they asked why I am so annoying like shit man I needed new friends but I live in such a small town fk man I want to live my life like I have to move on for a reason but time I feel like o don’t belong here and I feel like I can’t do it anymore so I started to exercise to hurt myself more it’s like a benefit except I don’t have to hurt my skin lol fk I’m dumb but I’m in grade ten idk if I could make it to grade twelve it’s just all waying me down
I remember my mother was having a talk to me about su!c!d3 saying people my age are starting to commit it and she told me if I tried to do it she would Litterally kill me and I remember thinking if I try to do it why would you do that? Cause that would make me want to die even more and now being older I realize how toxic my family was to me. My dads side doesn’t really care about me and favors my sister, and once I came out as a pansexual every time they saw a rainbow they would say “oh hey look it’s --“ I don’t want to expose my name just so you guys know so that’s why I put the tags.
My family is great… except for my dad. He presence feels opressive. Every room he's in is full of this looming fear. He hasnt hurt me in a long time but the fear is still there. No matter what I do its always my fault, I didnt try hard enough, Im not good enough, why cant he leave me alone. Papa says so many sweet things, but its rotting my teeth, all he says is lies. I cant trust a word he says because you never know when he is telling the truth. Every promise he breaks, every compliment he doesnt mean, he's just trying to make me like him more without actually trying. Just like he does with everyone else. He ruined my self esteem. He nevers leaves the home. He acts like a dictator, you must say the right thing, you must never mess up, you must only listen to him. And even after everything hes done, I still love him...
I always thought home was a house. I always thought that home was a place, not a feeling. I never realized how much I missed out on when I finally found "home". I found what I thought was home, but it really wasn't. It was more like.. a model home. It looks great and comfortable, but it just.. doesn't feel right. I don't know if I'll ever find a true home, but I will definitely try. For now, though, I have to take care of myself. And to whoever reads this, you should, too. I hope you find your home. Good luck, and tell me how it goes?
It hurts how this is my 231 playlist of the year now, I'm on my 6th coffee and I have no sleep because of studying. I'm pressured since I'm in the enhanced class. My mental health is so fcked up and I'm only 13😭
When your home life and school life isn't bad but you still feel like shit, you dont go outside, you barely sleep, and you just listen to music to cry yourself to sleep sometimes, some days you feel like the best person in the worl but others you feel like a fucking pice of shit, you start to lose some emotions the reflection in your eyes start to go away and every thing just hurts...i'm not sure if i'm fucker mentally or if it's depression but i just can't handle rhis shit anymore. (Sorry for vating like that but if you read the whole thing thank you ir means a lot that you care)
my home doesn t feel like it anymore, I have a selfish dad who gets In moods and is super happy or ignores me. My mom is super nice but it hurts, I've been through side to side. My dad one day is a selfish jerk or the next he's saying my mom is a cheater and a liar. It doesn't feel like home
My parent think our relationship is alright, but i dont think they argued in front of me really bad that my dad left the house, and i cried myself to sleep. I tried to drag my brother out of his bed, and he was on the top bunk and hurt him doing it. They would shout all the time. Now im kinda scared to stay with them for the 6 weeks holiday... sorry for venting😅😅
Honestly my dad has anger issues and hes always wondering why both me and my little siblings cry when we're forced to do homework with him but yet the real reason why is because we're scared if we get 1 answer wrong we'll be grounded and hit thats why but he doesnt know that....
I don't have problems at home I just have a major anxiety and according to The school councillors I have depression and other problems. I make things worse for my self and the meds don't work but according to the doctor it's working a d I just need therapy. And then one day before school I had a huge mental breakdown and my mind keeps replaying how one day my mom a d my dad both got into an argument (like a usual) but this time she said "Pack up ,we're leaving now !" And she only told me and not my other siblings. I cried so much I almost threw up. Anyway during the breakdown she said "we still love you " and I replied "You don't love each other!?" Then she was quite and said that they love me but never answered me and science I'm the second oldest. But the oldest at the house I get in all the trouble "Because I'm the oldest I should be the one who should be a good role model and that because one the oldest I should tell them when to stop" Oh and I'm only 13 My older brother had the same thins as me ,just he didn't habe to go through them fighting all the time till later when he's was about to move out.And all because I'm older and taller I habe to be approved on my clothes but my younger sister doesn't and she's only 3 years younger.My father is a nice dad but he just spends more time with his work then with us and my mother takes things to far or gets mad a little things they both do actually. Both my parents come from a line of health issues but my mother blames some on my father .I love them both but they Dow show the same amount as I do . Oh and also if I have one small outburst after having a horrible day at school I get my phone taken and I can't be on any device or watch tv . ( School is a big part to blame tho form my anxiety. When I was in 5k they said I was taking to longer in the bathroom so when I was out they had already turned the lights off locked the door a d went outside. Then in 3rd grade my teacher made me cry every day because I was to sensitive to be a 3rd grader. In 7th grade I had this one teacher that did nothing so this girl would push and shovel me ,but I couldn't push back because the wss the fav of the teacher and so he would take her side . And she would be deals loud so I couldn't hear what the tear was saying which caused me not to focus and so I got a ton of f"s and barley passed with a 73 .) I was thought how to fight back and that the f I get in trouble for fighting at school my parents said they wouldn't care ass long as they hit first and that I didn't cuse or start it .
I haven't been talking my meds for 3 while months and nothing is different then taking them .I have pulled my hair out when I'm stressed. And now it's gotten to where I Scream when crying and it happens at least 4-5 times a week .But you got to putt on a smile because if you truly show what's wrong g you'll be told your being by dramatic and an action seeker . People how don't know will always find a way to make you a target and shut you down quick
My uncle said hormones are a big part . aunt said my mother understands. My older brother said it's just apart of being the oldest my school said I was dressed and over worked .My brain says that its because I'm a useless childe that is the problem to all the deal that happens and how I should be the one to blame . writing all this helps a small bit .I can't write on paper because the last time I did my mother took it and gave it to my doctor the last time we went.
Man I hate life you do everything right for what. I lost everyone important to me besides my family and everyone hates me. Ig I get anything under a B in school my parents think I’m a disappointment. All my friends have become enemies and the friends Viv I have now don’t like hanging out with me. I hate myself more than anyone could ever hate me. Thanks for reading ❤️ it gets better I hope
My parents found out about my SH and they didn’t do anything and just told me to stop it and took my phone away for a week…like that’s going to do anything??? And my dad told me how stupid and shitly I am…and telling other little girls around my age that he wishes that they were his daughter and my dad fucking hurts me and I didn’t even feel safe in my damn house and i used to be a daddy’s little girl but when I grew up and my body and everything changed and he started to be mean ass and telling me how ‘fat’ and other parts about my body and I couldn’t take it anymore I was in tears crying my heart out and venting to my parents and they just looked at me like it was nothing….and told me just don’t think that way and im just a kid and i shouldn’t be thinking like that…im so done I want to leave my house but the other side of me…my little kid self still loves them. I don’t know what to do anymore. I hate feeling like I’m going to get hurt in my own damn house kids and children shouldn’t be feeling like that but I am…and I wish I had a different life.
My house hasn’t felt like my house for a while now..like seriously idek what to do anymore I got removed from my moms years ago but since my ex I’ve felt out of place he’s sexually assaulted me twice and by now I’m jumping from place to place my dads homeless living with my ex and now it’s all just lost.
As a kid my parents would fight a lot. My mother did drugs and my father was weird. I got taken and my grandparents took me in but then they fought too. I can see where my mom got it from now. My grandpa and grandma separated and I hate my school. Everyone hates me. I only act the way I do because I have several mental issues and illnesses.
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
i had to listen to this bc after my kitten who had died from kidney failure my family decided to remake the house and stuff and i went to my room crying bc i felt like we removing everything that had all the good memories and i miss it i wish i had it back and soon am starting school soon and i dont wanna go bc all the teachers think am lying when am not and i had to be with girl that kept making be her friend lets call a bc i dont wanna use her real name so A would make stuff abt me and last year i had no friends from lie that i had lice and bed bugs and fleas when i didnt and one day i had to be with on a group project and she kept making me do all the work and i did and she kept begging me to be her friend and i did bc she wouldnt stop and one day i had to go the bathroom and went i got back I GOT IN TROUBLE FOR NO REASON FROM HER bc she said i was being a bad friend and she kept making my life worse and i almost decided to yk kill myself from her and she bullying me when my cat died so ye i still have to be her friend my mom doesnt do anything abt it or my teachers and i still think about killing myself but i dont wanna
What's wrong? Oh it's ok buddy I'm cheering for you Oh I believe you I'm not lying buddy Here take some food You haven't ate?!!?!?!?! Ok eat RN or I will try as hard I can to help Sigh...bud its ok,hang on please Omg fight back to them!! Their horrible! I'm so sorry I'm going through this too Hang on,for me??
I feel like i lost my sanity as if i lost my cat shadow in his death i was scared i left alone but i found a new cat as a ten year old im still fearing what happened to me like i hadn't feel threatened by my father when i was only nine the only two pride cats (i have more than two cats) quickly came to comfort me while i shake and sob at the same time i was scared of this as if im losing it im still lost in my art and mind as if im in my soft heart i feel like depression now has me held into this chaos scared i left alone but i found a new cat as a ten year old im still fearing what happened to me like i hadn't feel threatened by my father when i was only nine my only two pride cats can still notice me sobbing i always never like the new roblox i like the old version more the old version was just for me as im scared i always never like what seems to be the new version of roblox im still controlled by my "friends" but my only friend cares about me the most time he had to protect me from toxics but it was nice to have him even tho im halfly offline but moon is my other friend that cares about me because im always getting annoyed by my "friends" we talk about why but im doing okay now that im being happy with my two friends i only have left with me for such now im worried if i loose them both i have only have problems with listening my mind its like holding a rope trying not to let go and snap i feel like im holding my anger back from my pain im suffering but i havent told my friend my past because im scared he'll hate me but im scared of this im scared losing him he is my only friend im scared of losing him im losing myself once again im scared of losing myself but im gonna tell him my past on roblox (im doing okay now dont worry)
idk why but these playlists make me feel better abt life i just sit there and listen and like draw yesterday my parents looked through my phone and i have a secret tiktok and stuff they made me tell them the passcode to the secret tablet i use bc i cant have tiktok and now they are gonna look through my computer they logged me out of my tiktok and told me how it wasnt okay to tease those pedos and i didnt know i had my location on but i did but while they were looking through it i ran away i got caught tho they put parent controls on my phone and uh yeah so im never gonna tease the pedos anymore👍
home isnt home I'm starting to hate summer break school is where I feel more home I can play with friends do quadrobics talk to friends and I dont have to fearfully hide in a closet and I have distractions from my dysphoria
I don’t wanna be at home anymore. Sure, my parents cared for me all my life but. My dad’s never home, and if he is all he does or care about is drinking. He never pays me any attention but if he does, it’s to tell me I’m fat or to yell at me. My mum is at home more often but we don’t talk. If we do, she yells at me for being a lazy fuck, my sister ignores me. My brothers all moved out except one but he’s in the military and I see him once a year. Home doesn’t feel like home anymore, I want my mum to know how I really feel. But I’m scared she’ll make fun of me for it or tell me I’m overreacting. I’m even more scared of she tells my dad, he doesn’t believe in mentall illnesses.
When will i go home and be me again "you are home" No i mean home where i was me you know a place where it was isolated and quiet "You are delusional stop acting like you are a fictional character" Im not crazy you just dont know me
These are the last days of my life. I thought a lot about it, and I made a choice. So, don't know if I'll be alive for when you stranger read this comment, but if you're struggling too, I'm with you, wherever I am now. Somebody loves you, and you'll have a home, even if it is virtual. I believe in you. Bye bye guys
Let’s say thanksgiving like 5-6 years ago my big half brother left with his wife, bc my mom and his wife fought. I haven’t talked to my brother and his wife since than, should I text my brother on Snapchat, and tell him I miss and love him..? I mean I do miss him, it’s been a while..
I wanna leave. I want to go back before it happend. I want there support. But I want to impress them. I want him back. But I can’t leave my sibling behind but I could never take her with. I js wish I could call cps, but I feel my parents would have an excuse. I js wish things were normal. I want to runnaway but I’d miss so much likes my dog and cats. Like my siblings. Like the food, memories, stuff I can’t take with, ect. I want “normal” back, it isn’t fair.