My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer 4 years ago. She would not sign the papers for a colonoscopy bag she said no to chemo they cute out what they needed did a resection and that was that. Well 4 years later she has found a lump in her breast they did s biopsy and know want a cat scan because she’s been having horrible facial pain doctor told her he thinks they are connected. I’m scared to death because she has made it very clear she will not do chemo or radiation. She is 56 and I have 2 younger brothers and sisters that are pre teens I’m 37 and fighting my own chronic illness. I am so so scared to even know the results but I try to stay strong. I’ve told my mom I support her no matter what decision she makes but I’m so so scared. Thank you for sharing your story it helps me to stay strong for her and be supportive. Thank you and I hope your still enjoying each day.
I am the same way. I have to be in control of me and my decisions. You are such a amazing person. There is never a end. We are immortal spiritual beings, you have touched so many and have taught us a lot about what a journey with cancer is about. The struggles. The dissappointments...... and so on. Sending pure love to you.
Not long before my nephew recently passed He said to me,,,,is it ok to cry aunt Ruth ? I said of course its ok to cry if you feel like you need to. Then he told me he trys not to show it when hes sad because he does not want others to feel sad also. i told him that its a very natural thing to cry. At some or another we all cry from time to time. Its our way of releasing painful feelings .And after A good cry it often helps us feel better. He said but everyone is so happy all the time around me. I said Russell , its their way of dealing with whats going on with you . I told Russell if you want to talk any time just pick up the phone and just as we laugh together we can cry together . So please let your loved one who is going through this talk about his or hers emotional feelings through this. Keep open communication . Ask questions. Allow them to show how there feeling. and say what needs to be said. But most of all show your love and listen to what they need and want . God bless
Sarge...how is it possible for me to be so incredibly proud of someone that I don't even know personally? That's how I've felt ever since I first started watchibg and now that I've come this far with you, especially with this particular video, I am SO proud to "know" you! I've always had the mindset that we should support and respect the decisions of people we love, when THEY face an illness. Your willingness to share your decision about palliative care, is amazing. Palliative care is a fairly young treatment option and people often confuse it with hospice, so they don't want to think about it. People such as yourself, talking openly about it and helping to educate others on the incredible benefits, is going to help so many others, on both sides of the coin. I'm starting training in palliative care at the end of this summer and I'm really excited about playing a role in letting people know that this is an option. You are amazing. Your honestly and "open book" approach to sharing your journey, are just inspiring. I look forward to continuing the proverbial walk with you. Thank you so much for your willingness to share!
You know that I am fighting the battle too and I totally get it. it's really all about quality. It's a very personal issue. You always have to do what's best for you. Continue to live your life to the fullest and enjoy every minute. It's the best thing to do.
Hi just woke to your vlogs. All I have to say is spoken eloquently carefully and deliquetly. Life is for living right to the end because there's love in every part of your days. 👍💓
Palliative Care is a really good step to take. It gives you a lot more options in many different ways. My Dad was in PC for 4 plus years. I agree with you on what the patience decisions are matter most. I agreed to fight with my Dad as long as he wanted to and I did.. my heart fell in pieces when my Dad made the choice to put his DNR in place. But I stood by his side and fought for his care through the end of his journey. YOU fight as long as YOU choose. You have my thoughts and prayers for all needs to be taken care of! Best wishes! I couldn't agree with what you state in this video more if I were speaking it myself. Well SAID! Kudos!
This video has helped me so much! It was just what I needed to hear to support my sons colon cancer journey. Sarge continues to help people! Much love to you Mrs Sarge
As I sit listening....this brought me back to my dad.... he made the same decision as you....it's not about the time u have left he said....it's what u choose to do with it...he refused all teatment...because he ..like u.. felt that treatment would hinder his ability to live the rest of his life his way....and we supported him....the tears tonight for you are because i completely understand your position and decision and without knowing ....u gave your family the sweetest gift.... an unselfish....yet wonderfully selfish decision to live to your fullest.....they won't have to see the results that treatment can cause....thank you for loving them so completely.....your spirit is touching so many....your incredible wife is such a beautiful example of support and care...I love you my friend...huge hugs
The best thing a family member, friend or care taker can do is to be supportive of your loved ones decisions. My dad passed away 11 years ago from lung cancer, before that he had colon cancer. I was there to help him anyway that I could and he appreciated that I was there in support no matter what he wanted❤️❤️
i totally respect your choice and on your terms, having lost my father at the age of 54 with cancer. He was so sick from the treatment and with the cost of the treatment he stopped having it. For 3 reasons:- 1 he was very sick from the treatment, 2 it only prolonged his life a little more, and he chose quality of life over quantity 3, his would have been treatment would help a child. i can only imagine what it would feel like if you knew that you was going to die. The mental torture! RESPECT FOR YOU ! x
I love you guys, and Tom too. Ty for teaching me the best way to support someone in this situation. I lost my very best friend to cancer. A part of me died when she left. I have yet to meet another female friend as special as her. The ppl who face the tallest mountains have the biggest hearts 💕
Beautiful and wise advise from the heart and soul of a beautiful woman, and one I am so honored to call friend. Sarge, stay true to yourself, and make decisions that will be in the best interest for you. You have Mrs. Sarge and support of family and friends. May Dan's cancer treatments go well Monday. Much love to you and your family. 💗💗💗
I am so blessed my family backs my decisions 100 percent. Especially having a DNR at 31. Fighting cancer has been the hardest thing I have ever done and my family has ever done. Im so thankful my sister and mom are both a RN. I dont want to leave my family especially my little nephews. But, they have seen me suffer for too long. Im so glad Mrs. Sarge has your back 100 percent.
Checking in. I hope Mrs. Sarge looks here from time to time. I am so glad I "met" Sarge through this media. My husband had cancer and he too has passed. It was wonderful to meet Sarge and the family here. Hugs hugs hugs. Thank you for reaching out and becoming a friend. RIP, Dear One and sending loving thoughts to Mrs. Sarge and the kiddos.
So strong you are..very well thought out ,its your life sarge,you make the decisions you feel is right..i dont think i could ever myself go threw any cancer treatment i watched so many people fight cancer with cancer treatments and suffer tremdosly,and pass away suffering so awful..i couldnt do it and i have decided i will not have chemo ever..god will be my support,when my time comes..much love to you...i support and agree with you 100 percent ....god bless you....sending you so much love....
I recently came across your videos and subscribed! You are an amazing person. I support your decision because I want to see you comfortable, and not sick all the time! I used to be a CNA and I cared for a lot of sick people. I could never know how they felt or were going through, but it hurt me to watch them die...my clients became family to me! I look up to you because of your positive attitude. I am the same way you are, I want to do things on my terms, so I understand that part. God Bless you, with all my love!
I would probably be smoking pot, using porcupine quill acupuncture, bathing in donkey piss, rubbing chinchilla carcass on my arms..... whatever crazy thing was out there.... but that is me,,, crazy. I love you, I love you, I love you and will always always always support whatever you decide is best for you. We are blessed to have you in our lives, you have taught me so much (still wanting to know how to drink a proper tea),,, and I know I will learn so much more from you along the way. As always,,, love you tons and bunches and big huge Peeps hugs..... See you tomorrow nite.
Thank you Peeps. I love you so much and am so grateful to be able to call all of you family. You have enriched my life greatly and I have learned from you as well...you know, things like, witty spontaneous comments without any thought. I admire that!! Lol
I still come bak to Sarge when i need too. Im so glad she shared before her passing. Having my own health issues,Sarge always reminds me to be stronger and enjoy each day as it comes.
Hard pill to swallow, but I am so glad I ran across your channel. My mom has heart disease and I need to really think about whether I am pushing her to do something she doesn't want to do just because I'm selfish and want to keep her around. Thank you for the wonderful advice! I really needed to hear it.
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for allowing us into your life and informing us what it is like with this disease. My father was recently diagnosed with colon cancer and it is in his lungs as well, he has not had a lung biopsy as of yet so we don't know if it is the same cancer or a different cancer. Today he is going in for his port and on June 4th begins his 1st treatment. He doesn't want to watch or listen to anything about his cancer, but I needed to know some of the things to expect. Your videos have helped me tremendously, and I hope that with the knowledge you have left for us that I will be able to help my father better. I wish I could hug you, I seriously do! God bless you, and thank you, thank you,thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your struggle with this disease. I will continue to watch and will be praying for you!
Thank you Heidi. I am sorry to hear about your Dad, but it sounds as though he may end up with the same treatments I had. Please email me if you have any questions about the side effects etc..... 24pawsncoffeecreamer@gmail.com
Sargè I'm really proud of you, your eloquence in pointing out, we are only along for the ride but the navigator and driver through the journey is the team appointed by the patient, and the patient themself. Using palliative care is an empowering action, making your life more palletable. Weighing out your decision is difficult enough without those around you placing pressure on you.
Hi gorgeous lady , as soon as I come home from my long hard nursing shift in palliative care. I quickly log onto your channel. Your on amazing lady. With palliative it's your decision when it's right for you. We usually allow people to be with their family. A lot of our work in Australia is palliative care in the home. There people get to do things they normally do and chemotherapy is all done in their home.doctors don't know when only god knows that. Keep up your pain Medication as no use been in pain :: love you girl:: do what your doing and follow your heart. Yes you have cancer but your still the same person . 🌹🌷🇦🇺❤️
I really agree with you about letting ppl make their own life decisions. Some 8 years ago I lost my dad who signed himself into hospice! As tough as it was for me, I respected his decision! I’m praying for you and mrs sarge! And thank you for allowing us into this personal part of your life!
Sarge you help more than one person, you help so many. You are truly amazing and I support you 💯 percent, live the best life you can and be happy always. I wish that for you and sending you the biggest hugs possible. We all love you 😍 and I am honoured to have met you. God Bless you always ❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕
Your an inspiration to so many people. Thank you for being so open and honest with us all it must be tough putting it all out there. But I hope you get something from sharing your story and thoughts about what you're going trough your so brave. One day when our whole generation is gone completely these videos will still exist and will be there to help and inspire and that is amazing.
Great advice Sarge! I am post (hopefully successful) cancer treatments. I made some decisions that may affect me in the future. Most of my friends and family supported my choices but some did not. It was hard to explain to them that, as you said, I want to fight but I want to fight MY way. Your explanation in this video is much better than I was able to come up with at the time. I hope others going through this will see this video and be able to find your words and they will help them be able to have the conversation with their loved ones.
You are such an intelligent and independent person Sarge. And, you are smart to look into what there is available to help you feel the best you can. I think that is such a wise decision. It is fabulous you have such a strong support system. That is huge for us all. You do what ever you think is best. And that will always be the best decision❣️ You are exactly right about family loving and wanting loved ones to stay alive. And, you certainly have been doing a great job of doing just that. You have great instincts I’ve noticed about what is best for you! I admire that so very much. I am my own person too and relate to you on that level. I do follow Daniel from England, and respect him immensely too. I know he starts chem tomorrow. He says at this point in time he has nothing to lose. A huge decision for Daniel. However, I support him in whatever he decides to do. His life and his choice, right Sarge? I am not going into it here, but 4 people in my family have gone through cancer of different kinds. It is anything but easy! I listen to what you tell us carefully. You know what you are talking about. That is for sure👍🏻 I keep you on my mind and in positive energies I send you. All thoughts of goodness and well being . With respect, admiration and honest caring, have a restful sleep and know you are right🥇⭐️🙋🏻♀️
My wife and I are sending all of our love to you and Mrs. Sarge. Please know that you have helped change my life in a huge way that you don't even know. I'd love to talk to you to first thank you for allowing us to be apart of your journey as well as tell you what you did for me as a colon cancer survivor. I hope we can talk really soon. I really feel led to share with you how much you've helped me. My prayers are with you always!🙏💙
Good to see you! This also applies to me with having a life long chronic severe illness. I get so much 'advice'.... well intended but does cause me to isolate. I admire you dear friend. Much love xxxx
This is an outstanding video. I hope people are listening carefully. I have taken care of so many cancer patients who are undergoing treatments because their family wants them to. When the family leaves the hospital room they just cry and tell me how they want it to be over with. That they don’t want to do this anymore. You explain this very very well. The people who do not have the cancer do not get to choose. The person with the cancer is the only person who should say what is done and for how long it’s done for. I commend you on walking way from treatments and appointments that were not aligned with where you were emotionally or physically at the time. It is a huge leap of Faith to do that. To trust yourself enough to know what is right for you and to advocate for that and be the decision-maker.
HI SARGE YOU DONT SOUND COLD OR HARSH, YOU ARE DOING WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU, YOU SAID SO MANY THINGS THAT MAKE SO MUCH SENSE, I HOPE THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE GET TO HEAR WHAT YOU SAID BECAUSE IIT WILL HELP TO LOOK AT THIER LOVE ONES IN A NEW LIGHT, SARGE YOU A LOVELY PERSON THE BEST OF EVERYTHING FOR YOU...BIG HUGS AND LOVE...MARY......CANADA
I'm glad you're looking into palliative care; it's all about giving you the best quality of life possible. You'll have a new team of people that will help you feel your best. Love and Peace from California.
Hi Sarge, your right about decision making your way, my mum refused all treatment when she was diagnosed with lung cancer, of course, I was upset at that but never told her, I just supported and nursed her through her journey. That was the best and kindest advice you gave out. Bless you, my friend xxx (UK)
The 3 words that change EVERYTHING, unless one has heard them, they cannot know. Just listened to this for the first tine. Family support influences dealing with the hell of cancer, I am glad that you have that!. Bless you.
Another great video, in my experience with working with hospice patients, the worst aspect becomes dealing with the family and friends anxiety, their "pain" becomes greater than the patient's, it is emotionally draining situation. Good advice from U!
I know how hard this decision is I lost my hubby in 2015 he was 55 yrs old. We found out on my eldests Daughters 27th birthday on the 23rd Sept that he had Agressive Liver cancer We was shocked as they kept telling us it was a pulled Muscle for ages... We were told to go home as there was nothing more could be done... 3 weeks Later in Hospice at 11.30am he left us... Im still gutted to this very day But Hun its your choice an you do what's best for you... An there is something they can give you to make you feel more comfortable an it will send you to sleep an you will pass over peacefully after a few days Take care as much as you can... Hugs an Love Sweetheart xoxo 💜💖
Sarge I want to start out by saying I am sorry you are going through this and how brave and courageous you are for fighting and also sharing your experience publicly.
Sarge, I just love ya! I think this is a very powerful video. I wish everyone facing the journey you are were able to be like this. Able to make the decisions best for them, instead of trying to make everyone else happy! You have my 100% support in whatever decisions you think is best for you! No one knows your body better than you! I'm always sending you so much love, support, gentle hugs and prayers! Keep up the good fight my friend! Your so strong!
Greetings, I volunteered in Palliative Care/ Cancer Care for three years and it has changed my life. I think its great that your making the appointment. Journey well my friend.
Hey Sarge, what a great video! You dove deep into a subject few dare to touch-the absolute bottom line of the one dealing with the illness getting to make the choices...and, more importantly, how others around them need to work thru their own fears so they can be 100% supportive. Good for you! I’ve watched a few loved ones deal with cancer and with little exception, all chose the chemo (with or w/o radiation) route. What I observed was the end of living after the first few rounds. Then it was just existing, and a miserable existence it was too. I saw loved ones beg them not to stop, more in their fear than in their love for that person whose body was being ravaged by chemical and radiation. Horrible, horrible stuff. What I just adore about you is that you choose day to day to LIVE! Yes, some days you need extra rest or to modify in some way. But you are living each moment as fully as you possibly can! HUGE! This is what life’s about. Not about some mark of years on a calendar. And really, it’s not even about a diagnosis, although admittedly it’s a wake up call for any of us. It’s about embracing all the little moments as they come along. Sarge, I’m with you 100% in every way I can be. I love that you keep exploring yourself, updating as you change. Example: palliative care was a no-go much earlier. But you didn’t keep that firm stance w/o review. Nope. You recognize now you’d like to know more, maybe are willing to know more. I think it’s awesome you’re willing to learn more. Maybe there’s something there for you. Maybe not. But I love your opening to new possibilities. So inspiring. Truly. Be well my friend and keep on enjoying, LIVING your beautiful life! From the boat to the PacMobile. Grab on and enjoy! Love, hugs, and peace to you, -Yemaya
Geez I wish we lived closer so I could give you a hug. I totally understand where you're coming from about the palliative care and needing people to respect our decisions. Im still early in this journey, but its the second time around so I know what basicly to expect. 3 weeks in and Im struggling at times with pain control, sleepy all the time even if not asleep due to med side effects, severe fatigue, anorexia etc. My Mother is thankfully fully on my side, she gets it, she hears me and she respects my decisions. My husband on the other hand just wants me around and he is willing to do anything to make that happen... as though it was him having to survive this not me. He thinks no matter what I should do what my oncologist says and Im worried at some point there is going to be a 'tangle' where Im going to have to put my foot down and say its not your choice. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words. I may at some point ask him to watch this video.
I am sorry to hear this. Perhaps it would help for your oncologist to privately explain to your husband, that at some point he needs to understand that this is not his illness, it is yours. Love and Hugs.
matey good on you as palliative care job is to make sure they keep you comfortable with a quality of life so you can live life to your fullest in whatever time you have left so you and your loved ones all will benefit you as it was massive help for both my mum and dad in their final stages. so happy for you
Hey, even as a subscriber whom u will never know, I stand by your decision like a family member should. We are all individuals and no matter what “support” is the strongest and most important action/emotion needed. You explain this in such a powerful way and I am sure many viewers can understand and be helped by this beautiful video. xx
Very good idea Sarge.They do really help.I was very pleased with the care my dad got. This will give you some peace of mind for you and Mrs Sarge. God bless you and prayers from Canada 🇨🇦. You are so positive and you will make the choice that is right for you.Lots of ❤️
Your life, your world, your body, your sufferings, your decisions. Great advice you gave to others that may feel pressured to do treatments that they really do not want, but do to satisfy loved ones. God bless you and guide you in all that you do. And if you want to ride a pink pony through town, that's up to you also 😁 And we all love Dan. Dan the man. What a sweet heart! Thank you for sharing what you are going through and for sharing your thoughts. Prayers to you and yours.
I'm so happy I found you and I'm sending you hugs, my brother passed away with Cancer and I wanted to go see him but he asked me not to and I just wrote him a letter as hard as it was but so glad that I did what he thought was best. You have helped me out so much tonight.
Hi Sarge! Another video that’s important, honest and articulate. I appreciate you sharing your journey more than you can know. I also follow Dan, and his family seems very supportive. And I follow Emily Hayward too. Like you, she has such positivity while having come to terms with her disease. Keep fighting the good fight Sarge - your way, Mrs. Sarge by your side. And know your minions love you. 😊❤️
Praying for you and sending you goods vibes XXX I, myself signed a DNR on my chart. every one around me support that decision easely cause they saw and see every day what i have to go through.
I couldn't agree more. Support is everything and I'm so glad you have it. All of us are on your side as well. I want to thank you for sharing your decision with us. We are all behind you, and are here for you always. Kat
What an absolute wonderful very well spoken video, God Bless your realistic, genuine, truthful self🙏🏼 I’ve met a few younger people who are “wise beyond their years”(mainly women for some reason) and you are definitely one of them that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you through your videos....If you have never heard that saying....it means, a person that is young, but they’ve got the wisdom of someone with an old soul, they see into things that others normally wouldn’t. God Bless You and Ms. Sarge! ❌⭕️❌⭕️
Totally agree, Sarge. You have to walk in someone's shoes before you know what it's really like. You are telling it from someone who knows and now anyone who hears this can benefit from the honesty.
When my friend's mother was dying she opted for no further treatment. My friend was pushing her to get a marrow transplant but her mom was 65. The doctor told my friend "You have got to stop treating this like it's YOUR cancer." That stuck with me and I plan to be strong enough to remember that should I ever be in that position.
This is SUCH an important vlog, possibly your most important this far Sarge 💕 Those that support people they love with cancer, need to have an understanding of what it’s like on the other side. Your point regarding supporting the sick person’s decision, to take treatment or not, regardless of what it is, is vital. You explained this so well. I think most people just want to help you, the patient, in what ever way they want supporting. I am really glad you are seeing palliative care, just inform yourself, make that contact, and keep it up your sleeve for whenever. P.s your brother does know how much you appreciate his support, he just watched a really heartfelt message from you 😘❤️
Absolutely do things on your terms! My mom is not doing well either and her wish and mine is to do what will make her happy and comfortable...that is amazing advice I support her in all her decisions because at the end of the day it her who has to live with it and go through it!!! You are awesome and your right no one truly understands not even family members who are watching or caring for the person going through it all......I needed this video today. Thank you my friend....much love xoxoxo
I've been watching you for awhile. I love your attitude and calming demeanor. You seem like a very lovely person. Good luck with your journey. Best wishes! ❤️👍🙏
I think pallative care is a great thing. Wether you live or die it can teach you a lot about life. In my own opinion I think everyone one should have to take life classes and this should be one of them. Sarge, I think kunalini yoga might be beneficial to you also. Look it up on youtube and whatch a video, it teaches you simple exercises to open up your lungs. Always blessings to you woman!
You're so right about it having it to be on your terms, when your ready for it not what others want. Palliative Care gives you the right to decide what type of care you want. This is your battle even though those around you are suffering also, but it's you who is battling and it'll make it difficult for you if others don't support you in your choices. God Bless you Sarge. XOXO
Palliative care is such a personal choice that only the patient can make not doctors not other family members. Been there with love ones who kept pushing the choice of receiving palliative care off because they weren’t ready for it. I saw how much damage some family members can make by trying that make the choice for the patient. I just love your video and message and it’s important to remember who is living with the illness and respecting your love ones choices 🌺
I've told you this before and I'll state it again: You are so strong, courageous and a true inspiration. I am so happy that you always have Mrs. Sarge in your corner always supporting you and the decisions you make about your health. This is about you and your body and only you know what is best for you! Continue fighting and staying positive. You have my number and email address if you ever want or need to talk. I'm sending you tons of positive vibes, loads of prayers and so much love. Hugs to you beautiful lady. 💞
I had to listen again, it was important for me to hear. My sister is navigating her way through an early, totally contained diagnosis and I've struggled to accept her choices in taking a much tougher pathway than she needs to for a religious reason, I guess in these situations some will turn to faith despite not practicing it. I already had made the caveat that I was only along for the ride but admit frustration over the issue. Thanks for the wisdom...
I know you don't respond to comments now but I know you will see this. I'm praying for you and think you are one of the most amazing people I've come across. Much love to you and the Mrs. ❤️
Very well said, Sarge! I know I’ve been silent watch her for a while but I really do enjoy your videos! You do what’s right for you I’m so glad your wife is very supportive of you as well. God Bless you ❤️😘
