I’ve been waiting for a video like this! I’m not going to lie I do shout a lot, I really don’t want to I feel so guilty every time I do but sometimes I just can’t help it! Great tips Emily! Thank you! I’m definitely going to try and be a calmer mum!
Charlotte Giddins I would say its just much easier to have respect for people who do not want to ride their scooter in public transport, for people who dont scream and lie on the supermarket floors, for people who dont kick you in the head and split your lip while going nuts in your bed even though you have told them about million times not to jump on you or people who dont try to touch your hot cooker or eat frozen food directly from the freezer 😅 seriously, dont blame yourself, ever. For what mums have to deal with, I wonder how we dont end up in a psychiatric ward 🤣 A good yell before they trap their fingers in the patio door is even necessary!! 😃 I yell coz I still care. But as they grow, I am hoping to lose that 😁👍
This video came after one of that hard days when my 2yr old simply doesn't want to cooperate with me (and of course I yell at him and now I'm sorry). Thank you! You really made my day.
Same!! The last few days have been harder than most because my oldest just turned 2 and I think she’s go omg through a sleep regression so she’s extra angry and whiny at nap/bed time
Hi Guys, I'm so glad that you like the video! Please subscribe if you're new :-) I also wanted to say that my eyebrows are not normally this dark - I've just had microblading (which is like a little tattoo) so they will now heal and fade to my normal colour. I also have a new microphone camera and it seems to have changed my voice a bit, which is so odd. One more thing, at 3.31 there is a typo, should be 'Set clear boundaries', I left off a 't'. I hope no-one unsubscribes due to this hugely offensive in-correct use of the English language... xx
Emily Norris haha! Still looking gorgeous but I thought they seem to be a bit dark compared to your hair😃 thanks for the amazing video! Lot to learn here as I loose my temper easily🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ defo will consider your advise xxx
So amazed by some comments about your eyebrows. Not to say that some people do that to hurt you, but why comment about it? In 'real' life you wouldn't say those things while that person is talking to you about important things. Why do people find the need to say something about someone's looks . Why are looks soooo important and what somebody does or not do with their looks is their bussines. Sorry for this 'rant', but I feel the need to mention this.
Lat Teach I love Emily! Also feel like she is my virtual friend - sounds weird! I am sure she does not mind!! 🥰 she is gorgeous with or without eyebrows 😄
@@laurakatona8850 haha I know what you mean. For me it is kind of unnecessary ;-). Like a mentioned before, I don't think that everybody meant it in a bad or mean way. I am a bit sensitive on this subject :-).
I never comment on anything on social media but you are probably the only person who i consider a true influencer! Thank you for the constant reminders of the beauty of parenthood i have so much respect for you
Great points! Especially the timing of the day and talking them through their solutions. As a teacher and mom I always recite that it's significant to 'share your calm, not join their chaos'. As a teacher I also have to correct "*you're out" lol
And now its my turn! My daughter turning 2.5 years now in march. And she is testing me! I just started to google and remember I saw this video awhile ago. Thank you Emily!
What a great video. My mum always shouted at us and so naturally I’ve grown up thinking that’s ok but you are right I don’t want to be that kind of parent. Such good advice!
Thank you Emily for these tips! Having just had my first child 3 months ago, I've just been binge-watching your motherhood videos. My mom's not a patient person and would yell at me sometimes but more specifically yell at my little brother - we have a 14 year age difference, so mom was already older and her patience just wasn't the same as when she had me, I guess. My brother is very temperamental but I think he grew into it, with my mom and his dad (my stepdad) yelling at him so often, he learned that that's how you communicate, unfortunately. I've tried being calm and patient as opposed to how his parents act. Now, as my mom is a grandparent, I've noticed she doesn't have patience for basic baby behavior like a little crying - all babies cry, come on! instead, she wants to medicate for anything that could cause that crying, be it a tummy ache, etc, immediately. I'm kind of shocked, to be honest and I definitely don't want to continue her behavior. I want to break the cycle and be a calm, collected, patient and loving mom. Like you mentioned reading somewhere that the way parents talk to us becomes our own inner voice - that got to me very deeply and I realized why I'm so self-depricating/self-loathing - especially as a vulnerable teen I was talked to like nothing I ever did was right or good enough. It would break my heart if my own daughter would have such a low image of herself and I actively want to show her how enough and wonderful she is. Sorry, traumatic rant over!
Way better than Super Nanny! You can tell everything you said comes from love and not anger and that’s what kiddos need. For the past few years since my teen got a diagnosis of PDA/Autism, we’ve been having to use ‘zero demands’ parenting. So tricky to start with but once we got the hang of not making anything a demand, we got him to comply more willingly with everyday tasks like dressing and eating. I know it’s not quite the same as for non-autistic children but simply by changing the way you talk to them, it really does make such a huge difference.x
Appreciate this video I’ve recognized that when I yell, I don’t like the way I feel and how it throws me off. Need to breathe and realize that my son is dealing with things and he is having trouble expressing how he feels. Thank you so much!
Just rewatched and I can say owning up to and apologizing for yelling has helped both me and my toddler get our emotions under control. We hold each other accountable to take deep breaths! Love the advice about how our voice becomes their inner voice. Also heard this recently - there are condiments in your fridge that have more world experience than your toddler - cut them some slack!
I absolutely love this video. I think as parents we sometimes completely forget that our children are real little people and will mirror our behaviours. If we shout then they’ll shout. I’d never speak to friends or family the way I’ve sometimes spoken to my children, and this video has really made me think. I will be more mindful of what I say and how I say it from now on. Thanks Emily xx
I have read highly acclaimed parenting books, been to parenting lectures, done courses. But your video has helped me more then any other option. From a mummy in New Zealand...THANK-YOU THANK-YOU
Thank you so much for your videos. I didn't have the best role models for parenting and I knew I wanted to be different. After having my second two and a half years ago I find myself often stuck. Your videos reiterate the stable positivity and calmness I want to project into my children's lives. I really appreciate it!
Hannah Spencer well done you. parenting is so hard and then when you through things like behavioural issues on top of it ... that's next level sending you loved
I have to say I am from very passionate and noisy family. Since I have a child I realised I am like my mum and dad in some situations. You are completely right. I always try to be better but sometimes you make mistakes and nobody was born like a parent. Agree with everything and thank you for your positivity and helpful videos🙂.
The advice to actually follow through with the punishment is spot on! On another note, you sound different in the video, hope you are well and not coming down with something
Thank you for the tips and your points towards the end about why not to yell made ALL the sense in the world. Favorite tips: Serious voice, Mom time outs, pulling over. Very simple and smart! Thank you!
These are all tips I’ve thought of and tried before. My problem is sticking to them. Making myself be accountable. It’s time to fix this problem in myself to help my children (and in turn it will help my whole family). Thank you for this today. I needed it.
I've just listened to an audiobook How to talk so little kids will listen and these are literally the same principles. It's a great book and I agree so much with what you're saying. I thought I wanted to be authoritative as a parent but now I just have such a soft heart towards my kids that I want them to have a lovely experience growing up. I'm glad it hasn't been long enough to make huge mistakes as my son is 2 and I'm expecting the number 2. Thank you for this great video Emily and it just shows who you really are. You are just a wonderful mum down to how you even talk to your kids!!!
I have just rewatched this video and I’m in tears. I recently gave birth and I have been losing patience with my elder child so much lately. I almost hate myself right now. Your parenting videos always remind me that I need to do better.
I’ve seen tons of your helpful videos and appreciate the time you take to make them...but this one has BY FAR been the most helpful and is completely where I am with my boys....needed to hear this, thank you!
Really Good tips, thank you Emily 1. Find your serious voice. 2. Put yourself (PARENTS/GUARDIAN) in time - out. 3. Set clear boundaries. 4. Three strikes and you're out rule. 5. Think about "how difficult it is being a child ". 6. Talk to the child and give them choices. 7. What are your tricky times? (Times you most likely to yell). 8. Own up to your mistakes and apologize.
Need this. My girls tend to get under my skin alot being a single mom of two does have its challenges. But after watching this video I am going to try all these tips:)
I confess that I yell at my children when I m stressed. I do apologize to them later. And yes, I did pull over my car when my kids fought in the car and it irritated me to hell. I totally agree that kids do need clear boundaries. Great video
Great stuff here. Have 3 kids all adults now. We yelled. We are raising our granddaughter (5) completely different now. Breathe first, talk about about why and settle on how to fix and make changes if need be. We never yell and never hit. We tell her she gets to make choices, but there are consequences for everything. Sometimes good, sometimes bad so you need to understand if you do something bad, not nice then you pay the consequence. We also are accountable when we make mistakes. She needs to see that. We don’t do 3 strikes, but we do give a warning and then yes we would leave a party, restaurant etc....we understand she’s a kid and sometimes get carried away and that’s what the warning is for. We are not perfect and I’m sure we are screwing up somehow, but all we can do is our better and get better as we grow.
I'm the anxious mom over here and I've got four kiddos....ages 18 years down to 18 months. Thank you so much for sharing, Emily, really puts things into perspective ❤
I've found myself to become a really shouty parent lately my 3 year old knows what to do to make the simplest tasks seem impossible. I really needed this video, thank you xx
Have you or Would you ever gently/playfully cover your kids mouth under any circumstances? Because my wife is constantly running into different situations where he playfully is loud while we are watching tv, or interrupting when she is on the phone, or saying something he shouldn’t in front of a stranger..she’s thought about trying to cover his mouth, even jokingly in those situations but she’s curious if it’s common amongst other moms to do it jokingly or playfully, and if it’s socially acceptable?
Boston511 that will just encourage your child to never speak. Ever. Plus they are more important than going on your phone, if they’re happily talking give them attention and talk back with them 😊
Emily, thanks for sharing, especially the unpleasant childhood days you had...I can feel your emotions, you are a Super mum, and we are trying our best for our little ones.
I think it’s quite difficult not to yell especially on days when you’re exhausted but it’s worth trying. I’ll try applying this once my baby gets older.
You should apply this sooner than later. The younger your child is, the more emotional they are and also they have little understanding of manipulation. Setting foundation is better sooner than later but you can do it! You got all the way here so you definitely can!
I love your sit down videos about parenting - they are a perfect combination of inspirational and helpful. Thank you for breaking things down into such practical tips. And I agree with you Emily, being respectful and calm is a huge part of my approach to parenting too, thank you for sharing that with us.
About a year ago having my second child I was having a hard time parenting and getting through change I came across your channel it was my first mom channel and omg things changed and I still struggle as everyone does but it has gotten better and I just wanted you to know I love your channel thank you so much for sharing.
I absolutely love this! I am an elementary school music teacher, Kindergarten-5th grade, and that means in a given week, I teach over 900 children in my music classroom. I am so, so passionate about treating children with respect, the same way adults (should) treat each other with respect. When we have to correct a behavior, I say the following: "I love you, and nothing can change that. Now, let's work on (keeping hands and feet ourselves, kind words, following instructions) together, you and me." Behavior in children is not personal, they are not sophisticated enough for that. It's a sign that some need is not being met. Emily, thank you for this, it is such a true, from the heart video!
Hi Emily, I find your videos so authentic! Thank you for sharing how to raise little humans without yelling. I can relate to your household growing up and while I don't have children of my own- yet, I absolutely will not be yelling when I do.
I love the message in this video. I have been really feeling bad about yelling when my kids test my patience. I always feel guilty afterwards because I know it's not an effective way of communicating the important things I want them to do.
I keep coming back to listen to this video as the need arises...this is how great and important each and every tip you gave in this video. Thank you so so much for sharing such concrete contents to lonely parents out there. Love you and your lovely family. May God bless you all.
So helpful - thank you! I also had one parent that yelled and one who remained calm, and I definitely respected and was closer to my calm parent. So I appreciate your tips and the reminder that I want to be calm with my 3-year old, who is definitely pushing boundaries right now! Love you!
I struggle so bad with my 2.5 year old. I’d love to see a boundary video and some examples. Like if they do this, this happens. You are an amazing mother. ❤️
Thank you so much for your honest and wise advice Emily! You are so right that people who yell do not get our respect, I had the same experience with my dad who yelled every day even for little things, I gradually lost respect for him and as an adult now I do not value what he has to say, it is like he lost my trust a long time ago. Now that I am a parent I get to appreciate how precious it is that kids are born to trust us and value us, we do not want to lose that trust along the way.
This video made me teared up. I am a yeller, and I really don't like it when I yell at my children, but parenting is just so hard sometimes. Thank you for sharing these tips. The story about your step dad really moved me. I certainly don't want my children carrying a mental image of me as the firy dragon mum all the time. XX from Malaysia
There’s a children’s book by Mem Fox ‘Harriet you’ll drive me wild’, a Mum who doesn’t like to yell but after a lot of things going wrong, the Mum starts to yell, is then sorry apologies and the child and Mum end up laughing as they help each other pick up the mess. Nobody’s perfect,!
My daughters name is harriet and that book was given to us as a gift. I have memories reading this to her and thinking this is me and her haha. Very true. I also apologize if I flip out when I'm tired.
Thank you for this video! These are great tips! I’m a yeller in recovery, trying to make my way to a calm mom, so these practical tips really help, thank you! I have a very similar story about my own stepdad, and I remember thinking how immature he was that he couldn’t control his own emotions and I really don’t want my own kids to think that about me!
This video is so helpful, my LO is 17months and he is at that stage that he is testing his boundaries. So i'm so glad you shared your tips, thank you xxx
Oh my god, I'm in floods of tears. I feel so much guilt of i yell at my son. He tired 2 last week and he is pushing the boundaries with me so much. These are great tips that I'm going to start using right away. There are always triggers for tantrums but a sleep deprived mama (I've a 5mnth old too) doesn't always see the issue. Thank you for sharing this post, so needed to hear this. Oh and that quote about their inner voice.... 😭Never forgetting that one
Great advice, thank you! I struggle with this as a mom I always feels so guilty afterwards. Thank you for talking about something mamas are afraid to talk about for fear of being judged.
Brilliant advice Emily. When I see parent shouting and swearing at their kids in the supermarket it just makes me sad, it's not acceptable to swear at little ones. You are SO right that it almost gives the kids permission to shout back, then it's a shooting match with tempers escalating. You're right we should respect our kids and teach them by example even when they have driven us to distraction. We HAVE to be the voice of reason and fairness. However, no one said it was easy that's for sure. Thanks again Emily , you are a star xxx
Thank you so much for sharing this. Really useful and heart touching, we need to treat our kids with respect and more patient, don’t want to show them the wrong way to react to things we don’t like.
Thank you for making this. My boyfriend and I struggle to do and say the right things with our children and it always feels like one of us is yelling. We both grew up with unstable parents and I don't want our children to grow up the same way. This really helps ❤
This is a brilliant video! I shout at my kids by accident more than I like. I had two shouty parents growing up and I do it without even realising. It's something I work on everyday, I wake up and say "I'm not going to raise my voice today". I find routine and allowing plenty of time to get out the door a really good way to reduce shouting. A lot of times for me it's stress. If I prep as much as I can beforehand it reduces stress a lot for me xx
This is everthing i wanted to say in a comment but couldn't find the words for. Every single day i try to not be the shouty mum i have 4 young children and some days i just get so frustrated with the fighting and bickering between them 🤦♀️ but I am trying so hard to be a calmer mum as i feel i get nowhere by shouting anyway and it makes all of us feel worse 💔 xx
Thank you so much Emily!! I am a yeller sadly. I do apologize often to my kids. I tell them being a parent is not that easy and I do tell them I love them the most even though I lose my cool more often.
Thank you so much for this! I am starting to put us all in timeout. Everyone takes 10 minutes to sit with books quietly and individually then we usually are reset.
Great video. I just read a book about this topic. I love that quote at the end " the voice we use to talk to our children, becomes their inner voice". Powerful. Your a lovely person abd casting mum xxx
It's very important how we talk to our kids and also how we talk to other people in front of them...I grew up in house where people fought and yelled almost everyday and I can't even have argument (normal argument without yelling) with my husband without starting to cry... that's how much our parents affect us...thanks for this video..I have 10 month old and your videos helped so much 😍
Hi I'm from South Korea and a mom to 2 kids and a big fan of you. I love this video, thanks Emily to let me remind what I did this evening. My two kids had a fight over a very minor issue and I ended up saying " go out of your house and play if you are gonna keep fighting" And my oldest daughter said almost crying " You promised to me you are not gonna say the word "go out" but you just break the promise." So I became speechless and felt guilty about me yelling at her. I will apologize for my mistake and try to follow what you suggest to us. The way you said is so gentle enough to guess how you react to your kids. Thanks a lot I love you and respect you.
This was so needed! Thank you for sharing! I’ve been struggling with this with my 4 year old who has become quite strong-willed lately. Great words of encouragement for this momma!
You are such a calm and a sweet person I really wish to be like that with my children I was really motivated by this video thanks.. .. love your channel ♥️ ..
This video is amazing but it's made me realise I do that anyway and that I am doing right by my daughter, everyone keeps telling me that she won't learn unless she's shouted at and I don't believe that, I'm not a shouting person anyway and you have just backed my whole theory, thank you so much Emily for this video, you always leave me feeling great, happy and confident about motherhood and that's so rare to come across these days, thank you for being you xxx
This video is so so helpful. I'm definitely a shouty mum. It's honestly more to do with my stresses than the kids. These are really practical things I can try.
Hi Emily, your are a bright star for me and you always help me whenever I feel stuck in some situation. And actually you are the first RU-vidr I subscribed. Thank you so much for this video it's a big help for parents like me. And also I'm really looking forward for your kids autumn clothing haul.
Thank you Emily, really need this today 😩. It’s nice to know us parents are all in this together !!. I always try & be the water to the flame not the fuel . I always apologize to them if I react and try and show them the respect they deserve & explain mammy makes mistakes too !!!. 😉.xx
Great points and if I shout I always tell my son that I'm sorry that I love her m and that I never want him not to trust me. I tell him it's mummy's stuff when she shouts and I don't want him to think I wouldn't listen to him. Fingers crossed it sinks in. Parenting is so hard but videos like this make it so much easier. Thanks for sharing and again great tips. Xxx
Thanks Emily , super video! Loved all the advice ! Since I’m mum of two and going through tough time in my marriage I became more shouty towards my 3 year old! I don’t do that often but when I do I cry at the end of the day. She’s my everything and as you said I need to be her positive model ❤️❤️❤️ great tips x I think I’ll rewatch and rewatch it xxx 🌸🌸🌸🌸
Thanks once again Emily - I’m not a shouty parent either. I’ve very loosely followed the ‘gentle parenting’ technique by Sarah Ockwell Smith - which has really helped me stay calm but also discipline my children. Your principal is very similar and it’s one that I believe really works! I was listening to Jeremy Vine on radio 2 last week and he had a discussion about the banning of smacking children in Scotland. The comments made by people calling into the programme were absolutely shocking and left me reeling. So the fact that your massage is all about respecting our children is very reassuring. I always knew you were an amazing mum and this video just cements what I already knew xxx
I'm glad I came across this video. It just reinforces what I already know and do most of the time anyway, but some weeks are rougher than others lol. Thank you
Thanks Emily! I've got a 7-month-old boy (my first) and I'm so grateful for this as I had a similar upbringing as you and I want to be prepared within myself. Thank you again xx
Thank you for this video. I noticed that the few times I used some of your tips for my teenage child it actually worked but kept going back to yelling. Thanks for the rest of the tips am really going to use them and am going to work hard at it. You're a life saver indeed. Thanks a million.
Thank you so much! My son just became one year and he's starting to make me lose my temper more these days. Thank you for the ideas and reminder to be a calm parent!
Hi Emily, I have been watching your videos for quite some times and I hardly comment on videos I watched on RU-vid, but I just want to say a big thank you to you on making videos like this one. It helps me to think of parenting at a diff perspectives. I am so happy that I found you here :). And I love seeing your family vlog. They are so entertaining and fun to watch :)
Emily this video is great! I was shouted at (and smacked) regularly by both my mother and step-father and promised myself that I wouldn't raise my children the same way. Their parenting style taught me fear and I learnt to tread on eggshells to try and keep the peace. I've never used physical discipline with my own children and can probably count on one hand the amount of times that I have shouted at them. Parenting is hard at times but I do feel that if we talk to our children with the same respect that we would speak to anyone else (and apologise when we do slip up), then they will talk to others kindly too and apologise when they get it wrong. Your boys are lucky to have you. ❤
There's a serious chance I'll jump back to this video every now and again when I feel stressed out. Cus ok, i do try most of these (not old enough to reason with), but I still find myself yelling sometimes and out of frustration, when i've been trying and nothing seems to work.... And this video on it's own is so calming and reassuring! So I might just use it when it comes to feeling helpless and frustrated 🤗😅😅
I've been waiting and waiting for a video like this to come out on your channel! I started watching your videos before my son was born who is now 2 and there isn't as much out there for toddler videos with parenting and such so this is very applicable. I'm pregnant with our second and I feel equipped for the second in ways but would love to see more mommy experience/ wisdom from you as you have 3 kids and lots of experience! Thank you Emily!😊
Omg love this video! Even though i havent watched it yet i already now it is going to be sooo helpful Ive yelled more than usual at my toddler the past week and he has been having night terrors, and i just feel it in my bones that it has to do with the yelling. Normally i can relevate everything but im 6months pregnant and im just loosing my cool more often
The night terrors are absolutely due to the yelling. I noticed my children would also have them whenever we had a particularly rough day. Before you yell - count to 10! And you may find you dont even feel like yelling after that.
I too had a parent that yelled and the other was an angel and always kept her calm , so i have abit of both in me , i hate yelling i dont want to yell i always feel guilty and not like myself but i lose my patience sometimes , thank you so much for your tips very much appreciated
I really needed to see this video. My sons been quite testing recently and I get so cross with him so it’s definitely made me see it from a different angle so thank you so much x
Hi Emily.Thank you so much for these tips.I have a 6 yr old that is so spoil n it's so hard to get her to listen especially when everyone is around.You have a wonderful family.I will surely try these out.🙂
Thanks Emily! I have a 4year old and 1year old sometimes i feel like such a bad mom yelling at my 4year old sometimes she just doesnt listen. But yes as parents we have to be patient. I will do it and see how it goes thanks for making me feel better.
I'm a new mum(again) , I have a 5 year old daughter and since having my son I'm just constantly shouting alot. Very very hard to control the stress in my home however I am trying to breath and control my feelings. Thanks for your tips hun great support tips for us mums and dad's ♥️
@@JOYSILVERWOOD1 I get no sleep I'm up at 5am and don't sleep till 8pm in that time I could possibly have naps while my daughters at school and my baby sleeps however the cleaning doesn't do it self
Awesome video emily......loved watching it.......The voice that we speak to them becomes thier inner voice......this is so true..... Thanks for sharing all the goodness......💜
Such a nice video Emily. Sometimes I freak out as a mum (every of us as a moment like this), but as years go by, I tried to apply several of the tips you talk on this video (positive parenting) and they really make the difference. In fact the kids respect you more than if you scream.
I really needed to see this today. I just shouted really loud to my two toddlers outside in the rain, because they didn't want to move and we were getting soaking wet. I'm a shouty mom a lot lately, because two wild and stubborn toddlers are testing me all the time. I will try all these tips out! Sure they will help ❤
Aimée Rachel you’re not alone! I sometimes feel that shouting is my ‘release’. But I force myself to not shout and count to 10. I feel better if I haven’t shouted. After a while it will become natural.
Yasssss, girl! I haven't had a chance to watch this video yet, but I love it already base on the title. :) Loving the videos lately that are a little bit different than the usual.
I love this so much I added it to my favorites so I can watch it again when I need a reminder. I'm trying so hard to be mindful when redirecting my toddler. It is especially hard when I'm tired and he never runs out of energy. I will be putting myself in time out! ❤thank you Emily.
I realllly enjoyed this video. I loved all the tips you gave but the most the car journey one. This video has made me realize a few things that I shouldn't be doing and how to correct them. I'm a new mum to a 1 year old so this video really helped me to be prepared for things that I might go through with my child.
