I had a coworker like this. I started taking her backhanded compliments at face value and accepting them in an exxageratedly happy manner that was clearly fake and she stopped doing it to me because she looked dumb
"You look tired" is something my colleague always says when she meets me. I say: "Since you always say that you should be used to it by now." Blunt is best, I find.
Maybe she just was worried about your mental and physical health, and was trying to open the door up for you to vent or alleviate some stress that had been possibly building up? It's more likely than not that you are dealing with one or several problems, whether you are aware, or they are completely hidden and chipping away at you subconsciously; and instead of acting like a grown, mature adult, you have decided to project your problems onto a RU-vid video, feeling like you have won some kind of victory over this person, despite not just being logical and confronting them privately, because (again) subconsciously you are likely avoiding a scenario that you know you've manufactured in order to perpetuate a narrative that is likely inductive of the very issues causing you to look noticeably tired. You can't be told by them how your line of thinking is misconstrued on this particular issue, because they aren't here to explain their rationale, meaning you have invented a situation resulting in a "win" based on perception. If it's mostly subconscious, you will be more aware now, if you step back at this precise second, and take notice at how irrationally angry you might be; a product of some person who you are about to claim had no idea what he's saying, doesn't know you, and is probably "an idiot". But if those are true, then you shouldn't be bothered; if they are just being an asshole, then you will be have a nice chuckle at my nonsensical rant. Who knows ?
@Brianna Philips, At first, I thought your comment was stupid until I realized that you were making fun of the spelling. And then I was thinking to myself how witty...cheesy, but witty. I love the Beatles, I play guitar, I smoke and I smoke weed all day. Are you single?
The best move is always to pretend you don't notice. They'll either get frustrated, or they'll gloat and feel all superior. Either way they'll amp it up and eventually they'll straight out insult you. Still ignore it. They lose their minds XD
Or you can just start exaggeratedly tell them how superior from you they are. Do it with a smile and add a little chuckle at the end, they'll be just as confused as you are with their remarks.
Assertiveness training is needed to deal with people like Pam. The good news is they usually play the same games over and over so the first time they may catch us off guard, really let us have it with an insult disguised as a compliment and then disappear before we realize they INTENDED to be mean. But they'll try it again and when they do we can be ready for them.
This is my mother...best thing is healthy boundaries and ignoring the behavior so they don’t get a “hit” or satisfaction from it. Most narcissists use this type of behavior too sadly.
There’s ppl who are like this, and you can’t change them either. They become to comfortable and set in their ways. They get pleasure from being like this.
Flashbacks to my old boss, whose response to my calling off from the ER with a blood pressure of over 200 was to say, "Well you should have scheduled this emergency room visit in advance, it's very disrespectful to your students to miss class."
Ah yes, I recall a boss who said, "Can't you have a panic attack when you're not on the clock?" Not only can I not help it, but shit like that was WHY I had panic attacks.
I had a teacher in High School that acted exactly like this towards all students. Awful person. Funny skit though. Damn Katie Holmes was soo cute before.
I had a very mean snarky fifth grade teacher just like this! "Did your mom buy you those pencils from the cute bin in the front BTS display at Kmart? Has she not seen a yellow #2?"
I had a boss like this. Awful person. She was also a natural expert in gaslighting. I'm still recovering two and a half years later. Human Resources LOVED her, so I had no recourse. My fault for selling my soul to an office. Live and learn, then learn and live.
OMG I've always thought that when I've seen this skit. So many managers and office people act like Pam it's a shame. They probably felt some type of way as they should.
Very well written sketch. Most SNL sketches just stretch one mildly funny situation out way too long but this one was strong right to the end. I remember my "Pam" quite well. When I was in charge of an office move I made sure she got the absolute best spot in the new place. When she saw her new spot she was so disappointed about not having something to bitch about she blurted it right out in a heart broken tone.
Ana is a national treasure. Her NPR sketches with Molly Shannon and her role in Lady Dynamite (that show is a fantastic acid trip) should be historically preserved.
Wow! 😯 I had a manager just like her but she wasn't as harmless. I mentioned her use of constant sarcasm once and she kept a grudge until found an excuse to fire me.
Just when I thought I had seen every SNL sketch. This is brilliant and hilarious. Ana Gasteyer, impeccable as always. And the Greek chorus in the guise of the barbershop quarter - just amazing. And, yes, we all know someone like Pam.
@@amyhutchinson3170 I had that same problem and it was driving me nuts! I talked about it with my husband and he started seeing what was actually happening and we put a stop to it together. He was so used to it he didn't even realize it until I said something!
I know people like this, if you try to defend yourself or dish it back they get defensive and play victim. Better to just ignore it and make it meaningless, then they get angry Of course in here it's funny, not trashing the sketch. I liked it
That’s the passive-aggressive gaslighting that comes if they’re ever called out. They never stop this, and never admit there was a sting in their word.
Reminds me of Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond. The way she treated her daughter in law: “ I wish I could just throw on anything and leave the house.” By the way that pink dress the new employee is wearing is fantastic. Very cool and not that corporate career!career!career! look.
I had one female boss who was like that. She was a piece of work. Had another female subordinate who tried these stunts with me her boss. She wasn't with me for long. She flipped out and went to hospital due to a suicide attempt. I told her she could only return to her job if her psychiatrist would clear her. She never returned. She ended up talking her husband into getting a vasectomy claiming she didn't wan't children Once he followed through with the cutting, she divorced him because she wanted chilldren after all. I nick named her Loraina Bobbit.
To be honest, as annoying as someone like Pam can be, I would much rather have to deal with someone like her than to be outright abused by a narcissist.
But I find it frustrating because the passive aggressive person plays innocent when you try to call them out on it. So, it's a cowardly way of being abusive towards others.
My tactic wi it h this personality is to take it at face value. They said a positive thing I’ll take it and make them believe I think it’s a positive thing. They say to do something and I’ll do the thing that they said to do even if it was sarcastic. They can’t do anything about it without owning up to the fact that they were passive aggressive. Works so well and drives them nuts.
I've known plenty of those in my work career! There was one woman who walked into the office I was in and promptly gave me a suggestion, of which I promptly told her, 'gee thanks for bringing that to everyone's attention'! She ended up looking like the fool that she was!
I’m as subtle as a shotgun. Passive Aggressive Pam and I don’t play well together. But it sure is a great show for the office to watch. Then I got my own spinoff series and now Pam works for me. She’s Unhappy Medicated Pam now. And I’m Decides If She Has a Job Tomorrow Boss
Wow this year.... 2001 Who let the dogs out was a huge thing and Linkin Park dropped the highest selling debut album of this century. crazy how time flies by.
I know a lady like this. She came up to me to ask me a question and said somone else told her to ask me because I know everything, and then she laughed in my face with her face inches from mine. I almost punched her lol
@@notsure1277 University is a money scam that puts you 100k in debt for a annual salary that isn't even half of that when you graduate. Just look at the Harvard graduates.
I just recently cut off a "friend" like this. It's taken me a decade to figure it out. She actually looks like the character and talks just like it. Ewww.
