PATTERN INTERRUPTION Breakdown [How does it work?] 

Thank you :) I seldom do private consultations these days as my schedule is pretty loaded, but you can always send an email to: contact@mindtitans.com At the very least I will read about your issues and offer some guidance if you take the time to explain what you would like to change.

Unfotunately that's often more the perception YOU have of the other person. You may think your value is not enough compared to theirs, whereas everyone is at the same level unless it is a police officer or someone who might get you arrested (or a higher authority in a work environement who can get you fired.) But if it is only someone in the streets, then the social role you have is the one you assume: If you speak with authority from the first second, they will automatically respond to you as a source of authority. But if deep inside, you think you're not worthy/interesting/important enough to ask such questions, then this is what will transpire through your nonverbals. Therefore: I think a good question would be: What specific criteria make you think you're not allowed to say or such thing to any person you have in mind? Is it the fear of repercussions? (in which case: what do you think will happen specifically?), Is it the way they dress, the way they look at you, the way you dress and behave maybe? How specifically are you sure you can't use the type of questions you had in mind? I think that might be a better area of research in your case. Also, keep in mind you can say literally anything you want to anyone with the right softener: - May I ask you something uncomfortable? - I don't mean to appear rude, I just wanted to ask you... - Would you be offended if I was asking something unconventional? Social desirability always makes people want to appear open minded, bright, and smart. Asking them a softening question will make them want to show themselves open enough to hear and respond your question. Because of the brain's need for congruence, they will be more likely to keep answering your questions if you made them identify as someone smart and open minded at first.

What an ANSWER! Thanks for the time you took writing all of that! It is much appreciated. I'm gonna pinpoint those questions and work on them. I definitely have some insecurities related to my looks sometimes... things I need to work on. Even tho its difficult for me to draw a line about what's part of my perception or self-concept and what actual vibes I give to people by the way I dress and look. My mother always commented about my look and outfit ("from her heart" and "wanting the best for me") but you know... I started looking at every mirror or reflection i could find on the street and it was then who was born this insecurity... but i dont really know how to "tackle" it. Maybe some re-imprinting of that memory or neo-identity modelling... Thanks a lot dear Matteo!!!

@@liesofsociety Yes, that's very common you know. A good exercise to begin with could be to pinpoint all the things you've achieved/learned/went through that were difficult, and to give yourself more praise for what you've overcome already. If you say you're learning to use NLP on people, that means you have at least challenged yourself to improve your communication skills, which is something most introverts for example will never take the first step on. So you can already compliment yourself about that. And you can find any other personal thing that makes you stand out as an individual. This can help to build more self-esteem. (and the looks will adapt as you associate more with the positive achievements you've made, rather than what someone else like your mother was seeing in you.) Our looks always translate what we think of ourselves. What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? And what would you like to see instead, that would be more interesting or compelling for you to look at? Good luck ;)