Patton Oswalt: “My Inner Child Doesn’t Feel Like Chopping Wood Today” - Full Special

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Patton Oswalt gripes about watching old movies in L.A., remembers buying weed at a coffee shop in Amsterdam and reveals why he got thrown out of the Anne Frank House.
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Original airdate: August 14, 1999
About Comedy Central Presents:
These half-hour specials showcased some of the best up-and-coming comedians of the moment. The show was a pivotal stepping stone for many of today’s stand-up stars, including Dave Chappelle, Patton Oswalt, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, Kevin Hart, Zach Galifianakis, Dane Cook, Bill Burr, Wanda Sykes and Maria Bamford.
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24 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 268

@gregorymccasland2874 2 месяца назад

My dad used to say, “I read the obituaries every morning, if I’m not in them I go to work.” Very funny and very serious all at once. Quite a man.

@jonathanperry8331 Год назад

In the sixth grade for some reason every day our math teacher would read the obituaries out loud to the class. I'll never know what the hell that was all about.

@ihopcsx Год назад

Hopeless romantic

@guilty326 Год назад

Dude was a serial killer

@Uthardar Год назад

That’s Werid

@Tonyhouse1168 Год назад

Reminding you that your time will run out. And you got to spend a lot of it sitting in class learning about how government works (and then growing up and finding out it just doesn’t)

@SUPER_WOLFMOON Год назад

Love that! To the kids: Do the math, you will all die eventually, it's just simple math! Ha ha ha! Sweet Dreams!

@stevendorsey4850 Год назад

This guy's mayonnaise delivery was so good. He's got such a talent.

@Baxtyr Год назад

he sounds exactly like Morty

@hereigoagain5050 Год назад

Young Patton is incredibly funny. It's bitter sweet when he talks to his imaginary wife.

@nedrah3490 Год назад

Ah, gotta love old Patton, before the world was dark enough to actually appreciate his style of comedy.

@richardtidwell4361 5 месяцев назад

Except for Robin Williams, all comics cease to be funny with age. Patton Oswalt was hysterically funny when starting out.

@DenOfVipers 2 месяца назад

@@richardtidwell4361 cork it, deadbeat

@Shadowwolfe2k7 Год назад

The irony of his ‘phantom wife’ comment is heart breaking.

@applemask Год назад

At least it's not a rhino

@davesworld7961 7 месяцев назад

Also saying he was like Templeton the Rat was oddly prophetic. Ratatouille.

@AT-yg4nk Год назад

There are some comedians where your like “Yeaa I can see him being funny in a social setting but as a stand-up comedian!?? Ehhh not so much.” Not Patton. He was created and BORN to be a stand-up comedian. He’s one of the greatest of all time.

@Wetcamerainc 19 дней назад

He better be doing stand up in heaven when we all get there

@FistandFootMartialArts 9 месяцев назад

It made me remember the time I was in Amsterdam, 1981, when pot was just starting to move out of the bars and into the coffee shops. In the bars, patrons would roll their own "joints". They would mix a gram with a large amt of tobacco, and it was a thing to pass around. Ppl would hold on to it for a while before passing it on. Also, they would fashion a "filter" from the cardboard of a matchbook. It was held it your hand in a way that your mouth did not touch it. When I rolled an American style joint, it got some funny looks.

@Wetcamerainc 19 дней назад

Snobbery

@FlorianCalmer Год назад

"He loves life, he won't let go" ha ha ha!

@Battery_lol 4 месяца назад

I only know him because of ratatouille and Minecraft story mode😭

@notveryniceatall Месяц назад

Are you 12

@Battery_lol Месяц назад

@@notveryniceatall nope

@drrupaulben3262 Год назад

"like templeton the rat from charlotte's web" - Ratatouille just got a whole lot darker

@boogitybear2283 Год назад

I saw Patton back in 2019. He was so hilarious. It was unreal seeing Spence Olchin from the King of Queens show.

@BREAKocean Год назад

That show is underrated and still smacks

@markbaskin5663 10 месяцев назад

King of Queens was pretty good

@corncobjohnsonreal Год назад

I like how the audio is so quiet on the official comedy Central channel lmao

@derrickwebster7879 Год назад

Ah the sixth grade, the age when the prettiest girl in school was still your math teacher.

@rhdufflebunny Год назад

English teacher for me.

@Tonyhouse1168 Год назад

Reminds me, I need to give Miss Lawless a call..

@hackcubit9663 11 месяцев назад

I saw him about a year ago. It's amazing seeing him back when he was younger than I am now.

@MjL293 4 месяца назад

The headling out to see him in Dallas tonight. I love this guy

@patricklloyd317 Год назад

He's probably my favorite comedian....and you know he's good because I mainly disagree with his political beliefs, but you can't deny FUNNY.

@thENDweDIE Год назад

I luv how he tells the cameraman to "GTFO" in the intro..!! xD

@caseymallory1774 Год назад

Hello everyone enjoy your day

@armanymillions4547 Год назад

u have a BETTER day casey 🫶🏽

@davidmirandajr Год назад

This guy is funny af in reno 911 as dungeons boy rofl True funny

@showaker4755 10 месяцев назад

the fact that htis is from 1999 but most of the jokes are still completely relevant is bot hilarious and a bit unsettling.

@dawndid5972 Год назад

Big Papa Patton general of peace and hope thru laughter. Thanks for the laugh medicine for eons

@DaisyHollowBooks Год назад

I adore this guy.

@cvc20062ndchannel 8 месяцев назад

4:18 "They'll bring their bullsh--" 🫨🫨🫨 Patton Oswalt is my all-time favorite comedian in the world and I've never seen or heard him curse in all my life... until now! 🤣🤣🤣

@eamon2please 4 месяца назад

What? He curses like a sailor. Are you a new fan?

@cvc20062ndchannel 4 месяца назад

@@eamon2please Damn right, I am!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@cvc20062ndchannel 4 месяца назад

15:48 "HAPPY EASTER AND BITE MY WRINKLY ****!!!!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@oregoncoastbeachcomber2060 2 месяца назад

He curses as punctuation rather than commonly used words. It's an art form. 🤘

@cvc20062ndchannel 2 месяца назад

@@oregoncoastbeachcomber2060 Oh. Like, why didn't I think of that before?

@jswets5007 7 дней назад

I love the idea of a, Midnight in the Olive Garden of Good and Evil, written by Patton Oswald. "Two bread sticks in the bucket, mother bus it."

@jonathannathan7299 10 месяцев назад

SLATHERED, Bernie.

@chrisw.5625 11 месяцев назад

One of my all time favorites. Patton

@keithgreene79 Год назад

Patton's cancer joke is very similar to Norm McDonnel's cancer joke.

@clawabidingcitizen Год назад

Well this was taped in 1999, so make if that what you will

@keithgreene2721 Год назад

@@clawabidingcitizen Norm's special came out in 2011. Although he could have been telling that joke for years. 2 of my favorite comedians but they are very close in the premise.

@frightenedsoul Год назад

I’m sure if he copied Patton it was subconsciously and not intentional.

@1seansouth Год назад

It was an Onion article first I think

@gargamellenoir8460 Месяц назад

Patton came a long way since then.

@Mechadondada Месяц назад

Back in this era I used to imagine what it would be like to go to an Amsterdam coffee shop and experience the tabooed devils flower. 2 days ago I bought legal weed from a drive thru in effing Ohio in the most pedestrian way imaginable. Weird.

@novosapiennothuman7717 Год назад

Most knowledge is forbidden unless. All ready taken and given.

@danlewis7707 14 дней назад

So good! That depression was running free like a bronco on the open plain though. Glad to see you are better now Patton. 😁

@party4lifedude 8 месяцев назад

Apparently this was originally aired on my third birthday lol. It's crazy how well it holds up today.

@K._Oss 11 месяцев назад

Oh, Patton, if only you knew you could have the Amsterdam experience just down the street from your house in 20 years

@amyc5913 Год назад

You know what character you should be? Cupid. Still in Amherst.

@Jjgarcia365 11 месяцев назад

He was ahead of his time. The crowd just didn't get it. Over their heads.

@devinallen4708 5 месяцев назад

19:24 i cannot stop weazing laughing at this

@Baxtyr Год назад

The OG Justin Roiland Morty voice

@rocknrollcannibals 7 месяцев назад

Shows how much times have changed that he was bragging about weed that apparently had seeds in it. 😅

@nedmerrill6228 5 месяцев назад

I want to hear him talk about Star Wars.

@glasstumble1677 Год назад

The blade joke. Was it foreshadowing?

@trixonic6934 9 месяцев назад

I used to love his material and cry and laughter. I don’t know ifs me or just him and this material. Anyone reading this know some things we don’t??

@thegospelaccordingtoeljefe5520 7 месяцев назад

"Starbucks liberalism" is now a term I am going to use

@Tempo1337 Год назад

Wow, baby Patton

@DOSkywalkR 23 дня назад

It's weird to hear Patton talk about "getting old" at age 30 when now he's 55 😅

@thENDweDIE Год назад

"SKY CAKE..!!"

@n3rfdr4gon99 11 месяцев назад

If I looked like a Picasso painting, I might consider self-harm as well.

@brett4264 Год назад

I finally figured it out! Patton is just a tall midget. He's so cute waving his short little arms around. Adorable!

@dhydydyd 11 месяцев назад

I think God gave us laughter to remind us to not take life so seriously...chill out and relax....don't try to carry the world on your shoulders 😉❤️

@coletrickle1775 10 месяцев назад

Why do you think God gave us child cancer?

@dhydydyd 10 месяцев назад

@@coletrickle1775 cause he's God 😂

@markbaskin5663 10 месяцев назад

Home boy is on point.

@seamusburke639 7 месяцев назад

4:05 This was around the time that inspired SILVER SCREEN FIEND.

@stefanmarraccini8646 Год назад

The joke and title of the special just shreds me everytime I think if it. The context of the narrative just adds to the line. 70s SF Bay Area kid here...I've prolly heard "inner child" yada yada yada a few thousand times at this point. I've even said it myself. Predictably, The Man came the very next day and tore up my man card. 👍 Bastids.

@bryanergau6682 10 месяцев назад

Now, what have we learned?

@pedrobedoy9574 10 месяцев назад

I don't Wanna Die 😂🎉 but you get Tired 😩

@Mike-o2u3b 6 месяцев назад

We've been too the Dolphin Coffeeshop!

@orionvassi 8 месяцев назад

Wonder who plays bass on the outro theme. James Genus?

@nikoteardrop4904 10 месяцев назад

January 10 is my birthday, that's hillarious

@Despondencymusic Год назад

My best friend was that person who hated to laugh.

@MatthewSmith-cp3hu Год назад

he is so funny

@johntighe3377 2 месяца назад

That last bit was nothing to sneeze at.

@reallifefaith Год назад

Judging by the build, the clothes, and the haircut, I'd say it's a hobbit.

@BigGahmBoss Год назад

The sound mixing for this is incredibly low

@clawabidingcitizen Год назад

Literally everything posted to RU-vid by Comedy Central.

@BigGahmBoss Год назад

@@clawabidingcitizen unfortunately you're right. I'll still point it out though

@TravlingNow 11 месяцев назад

8:15 Had to pause to check out Supergras, am now down the rabbit hole. I bet the rest was funny tho

@alexhoover428 Год назад

Super funny

@1seansouth Год назад

He just turned 30 here, wow

@TrateMusic 11 месяцев назад

I'm now older than he was when he recorded this and I don't know how to feel about it lol

@vincenthammons-kd9du 7 месяцев назад

Oswalt the man child

@abebrosiczki637 Год назад

HEY IT'S JESSE!!! 🤩⭐

@eileenheath1968 10 месяцев назад

Ooof the sound quality..

@catkeys6911 9 месяцев назад

I love Patton, generally, but he got a little dark in this one for my taste. Nobody cares, right?

@yiboduan4321 5 месяцев назад

I see Jesse is doing well in beacon town.

@CGAMER6845 Год назад

Oh MyY gOsH ItS Guy frOm MinEcRAfT sTorY mODe11!!

@Trish-fj9dr 2 месяца назад

😂😂😂 Brace Brace ❤ ✈️

@LeastFav Год назад

17:00

@kamalsherkawi Год назад

Hi Jesse (from mcsm)

@cartoonraccoon2078 Год назад

Ah, his spectral wife...

@thENDweDIE Год назад

Perhaps the doctors hoped that him having to grow a nose upside down on his forehead for an entire year ffs... ...would have inticed him to change his mind...because who would ever accept such a thing..!? "Well, if you're gunna be dumb...you gotta be tough..!!"

@LeastFav Год назад

Pat, You gotta know that you can say no, you, (respectfully) a-sexual promoter you. Love ya, yo boy

@rodroller6634 Год назад

Damn Patton looks 12 in this vid.

@justayoutuber1906 Месяц назад

He got better later

@jamesiii4921 Год назад

😄💯👍

@MichaelKolesarKoleslaw Год назад

It's odd how quaint this routine sounds now. TV somehow got a whole lot better AND a whole lot worse since then.

@jewbego5323 Год назад

Patton got away with murder

@amyc5913 Год назад

I'm 6 feet tall and never been stoned.

@weedleyy Год назад

its jesse

@1965mlayers1965 Год назад

Personally, I think he bombed....or the audience wasn't feeling his vibe. Awkward set.

@johntighe3377 2 месяца назад

Ah....comedy before the World ended.

@justinhill2378 7 месяцев назад

I just want to know when this was originally released because norm macdonald had avery similar joke about cancer.

@TheyCallMeTheMilkman 6 месяцев назад

1999

@sanjek 7 дней назад

It’s an obvious joke, it’s commonly said about people who have passed away from the C saying, you can make a joke saying the opposite. You reframe a common saying or situation and reverse it. That’s a percentage of all standup

@Hardbrand 11 месяцев назад

🎈

@CandorMyles Месяц назад

Pot became legal and now it's just not Fun Anymore... 😹🤔

@Sir.K2 Месяц назад

😂😂

@nerojones2280 Год назад

Those comments about his wife …

@rhdufflebunny Год назад

I will say he's absolutely spot on about liberals watching old movies and the type of person our ancestors had to be in order to conquer this country.

@jeffruebens8355 Год назад

If you study forest succession, after a fire or other clearing, the first plants to move in are very different than the eventual much taller and more longer lived plants, such as the white oak trees used for bourbon barrels. Each has its purpose and time, and all are important for something. If things change so they are useless, it is extinction time.

@rhdufflebunny Год назад

@@jeffruebens8355 There is a lot to unpack in your very well worded comment my friend.

@waitselljones8068 Год назад

I think in reality there is a middle ground. You can't be wimpy to found a country, but you also don't have to be a sociopath, which is what a lot of conservatives believe.

@Logan7281X Год назад

@@waitselljones8068 There IS a middle ground. Unfortunately greed, selfishness, racism, sexism, homophobia, fear of the unknown/different and the desire to be in control of everything and everyone is the problem. And that's not a political statement, that's just my observation of how much simpler life could be for everyone if they all just chilled the heck out and treated each other with the same respect and love that they feel they're entitled to.

@bearlh40 7 месяцев назад

Patton Oswalt was never 30 years old. Quit lying, Patton.

@lukedavis3703 4 месяца назад

Dr Lesterman. I'm sorry to bother you but i think i'm close to a temper control incident.

@NicodaFishing Год назад

I see where Tom Segura got his stand up from.

@tecumseh821 11 месяцев назад

Except Patton dosent hate the poors

@Xis-ql5pj Месяц назад

Im sorry. But to ME he is Koenig

@dannytallman3022 Год назад

All I can hear is Remy.

@janaenae1338 4 месяца назад

But it is tho

@TheKrighter 10 месяцев назад

Patton was funny, but that crowd sucked.

@PhredMacmurray Год назад

Is this comedy? Nobody is laughing.

@edition-deluxe Год назад

I luaghed the whole time, Maybe your angry sad black heart lost what funny is?

@jewbego5323 Год назад

@@edition-deluxe *laughed

@edition-deluxe Год назад

@@jewbego5323 angry black sad heart, you know that was comedic gold, right bruh!?? Hahahahahhahhhhaahahhaa

@jewbego5323 Год назад

@@edition-deluxe Patton Oswalt killed his spouse

@edition-deluxe Год назад

@@jewbego5323 WHAT??

@dade4537 10 месяцев назад

The top story Anne Frank and her family lived in was gigantic. There's no way any person with eyes didn't see that full on apartment with big windows. She also died of the Typhus Plague as accounted by many witnesses in the camp she was in. Can anyone name that camp? 200 bonus points in it for you!!!!