Perfectionism || My Current Struggles

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If I could offer you any advice, it'd be to get some Brene Brown into your life, STAT:
• The power of vulnerabi...
• Listening to shame | B...
• The price of invulnera...
• Bravery & Authenticity...
• Daring Greatly to Unlo...
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Essential Documentaries:
What The Health: www.whatthehealthfilm.com (now on NETFLIX)
Forks Over Knives: www.forksoverknives.com (or on NETFLIX)
Watch COWSPIRACY Now!: www.cowspiracy.com (or on NETFLIX)
Earthlings Documentary WATCH FOR FREE: www.nationearth.com/earthlings-1/
Speciesism Movie: speciesismthemovie.com
Plant Powered Doctors:
Dr. Pamela Popper: www.wellnessforum.com
Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine: www.pcrm.org
Dr. John McDougall: www.drmcdougall.com/index.php
The China Study/Dr. T Colin Campbell: www.thechinastudy.com
Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn: www.dresselstyn.com
Animal Rights:
Meet Your Meat: • Meet Your Meat
Animal Welfare: www.adaptt.org
Additional Resources:
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Опубликовано:

21 ноя 2017

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Комментарии : 143

@bethbug 6 лет назад

It’s kind of insane how you always seem to touch on subjects that are perfectly relevant to me. I relate to so many of your experiences and it makes me feel less alone and more understood. Thank you so much for helping me and inspiring me every single day. I wish you all the happiness and peace in the world. Lots of love and strength~

@luvfitall 6 лет назад

Elizabeth E. right?! It's like everytime🙌

@michele_veganwebagency 6 лет назад

I feel the same way

@gotoguru736 6 лет назад

The best internet older sister i could ask for

@TeashOlogy 6 лет назад

I believe you are perfect. As am I. Can we get real about defining perfection? Nature is perfection and NEVER without what we would call “flaws” We live in a world of duality. Perfection cannot exist without imperfection. So if you have imperfections. That means you MUST be perfect too. One cannot exist without the other 💖🙏😘

@TheLexii33 6 лет назад

I really like you and your videos. I remember the first video I ever saw of yours, I was just like "ahhh such a breath of fresh air... I need more people like this girl in my life."

@I_Am_SciCurious 6 лет назад

I've been unsubbed from you twice by RU-vid, but I love you so I will always return. I absolutely get what you're saying about having different parents too. Unfortunately, anyone can have kids, and being competent and sane aren't prerequisites for becoming a parent.

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

So true and THANK YOU for returning!!!

@becauseiwanttoknow 6 лет назад

Hi Lily, thanks for your honesty and openness. From this side of the screen, you come across as a woman making the wrongs she was subjected to as a girl right in ways that are conscious, ethical, courageous, and beautiful. But I'm a bit confused about what your perfect is (and I sincerely hope this doesn't come across as anything other than genuine and friendly curiosity) because from what you've shared, you live in paradise, you have a home that you share with the loves of your life, you bring people relaxation from pain, and since I started following you, your subscription has more than doubled. I think because your content is one of the most informative and legit on here. Although if I may, sometimes I wish your recipes were a bit simpler. Oh, did I mention that you lost 40lbs and kept it off? You have mermaid hair, the brightest eyes, and white skin... I'll stop here with pointing out your physical assets because this is why people think I'm into girls. It's just that when I was growing up women/girls were allowed to openly admire each other's beauty. And maybe what you're going through is a part of the horrific aftermath of maternal trauma. I'm just starting to process that for myself and it's so difficult to not feel stupid after each and every interaction I have with my mother. Anyway, I digress. I did want to share that while processing the hate and disgust I feel for myself, I realized that since the beginning of the human history, women have evolved to absorb and live with shame and guilt. Shame and guilt are insidious, disguising themselves as tools for personal growth and power only to build you up and knock you back down to themselves. I think it would be miraculous for any being to show true love and acceptance under such circumstances. Remembering that whenever I feel hatred has been quite freeing for me and releases every woman from blame. Although I still resent my mother for not realizing this for me. Lily, be good to Lily. There are girls (young and old) who feel empowered by your passion, your knowledge, and your openness. To them, you are Mary-Kate and Ashley. To me, you're a real woman doing truly inspirational things for good of all which is rare. Have a good day, and please do consider simpler recipes for people who are limited to Trader Joe's. :) (now I have to go process the shame I feel for not being able to consolidate my comment into three sentences or less) T_T.......... :)

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

Sunny, Thank you, deeply, for using your time to write a long, heartfelt message... Your words mean a lot to me and I sincerely take them to heart. You're absolutely right that I am so fortunate and blessed in so many ways; it is the scheme of perfectionism that whatever you have is never enough. Especially if I compare my "reality" to what is shared by many on social media. Thank you again for your forthright kindness 💗

@ryanjames4887 6 лет назад

your videos always bring me such joy and guidance and hopefulness in dark times. As a young female approaching adulthood in the up coming years I would like to speak for my generation and say that your are really doing something spectacular for us. I feel so comfortable coming to a place where I can be reminded that my habits do not have to consume me, that my overreaching expectations and resistance to accept who I am does not have to be the end all be all, and that my anxieties are not silly or stupid or to be brushed off. You make me feel like I am worth something and remind me to catch myself again and again when I slip because I deserve it. You mean so much to me!

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

May I say, it gives me great hope and joy to know such an eloquent, self-reflective young woman is approaching adulthood ❤️ You will do great things with your capacity for wisdom and kindness... in your own life and beyond, if you so choose. So much love and support to you!!

@plumcheeks 6 лет назад

I'm older but you are so much wiser. At 29 I was just thinking that there had to be more to life than partying hard on the weekends & just having a job & going through life on auto. I've come very far now & being vegan is just another piece of my puzzle. Love you Lily xo

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

No matter when it happens, it's that it does 💗

@BocaReikiGirl 6 лет назад

I wanna be just like Lily! xo

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

**Kimberlily** has a ring to it 😂

@BocaReikiGirl 6 лет назад

lilykoi hawaii ☺️💕

@lulolancy 6 лет назад

I want to be like her dog.

@czolg2014 6 лет назад

I want that dog! ;( Little pupperino 💕💕

@Alisonx333 6 лет назад

I find that it is so hard to be real with myself sometimes and it’s hard to admit things that I don’t want to be true and accept them without feeling shameful and remorseful but you do it so gracefully and that is so inspiring. You admit things and though you may not feel perfect, please know the message is heard and your tenderness with yourself is inspiring.

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

At first, it feels very frightening to admit things we're not proud of. As if the very act of admission is what makes it real or source of vulnerability. It's true in a sense, but the truth is: once it's admitted and seen two things happen 1.) It loses a lot of power over you and change becomes possible, 2.) you're aware of your vulnerability and you can realize that a truly kind person would never use that vulnerability against you... be just as kind to yourself as you would a beloved friend 💗 Thank you for taking the time to write me such a lovely comment 🙏🏼

@celestesullivan303 6 лет назад

Your honesty is perfection. So full of light my friend.

@baileyab47 6 лет назад

I know it must be important to you to see progress externally (your number of subscribers) and to feel defeated when that isn’t happening - I speak from total empathy. Know though that you have touched my life and I am a real, perfectly imperfect, struggling and hopeful human being who is grateful for your existence and has experienced a smiling and warm heart many times because of you. Also the only thing that is perfect that I know of are machines. Fuck being a machine! I hope this more recent cycle of healing is bringing you/has brought you a greater depth of love and acceptance for your beautiful self.

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

Wow... thank you, thank you. It's a curious journey, but I'm so thankful for the people I've been able to connect with through it.

@whoopsiedaisy2990 6 лет назад

Thanks for always being honest Lily! You are a great person. There is nothing unlikable about you or your channel. You are honest, ethical, and just amazing. I'm still so glad that I found your channel. You have seriously helped me so much in my life. You are an inspiration for the changes you have made. It's great that you talk about the things that have happened to you. Your reflection of yourself has helped me learn to do this too. Keep your head up high! You are the best. I wish you were my big sister.

@pupax2000 6 лет назад

I can relate so much to this. We have to just realize that we will never get what we need from our moms, and that we will have to find healing and acceptance from within ourselves. Once I realized that I just had to let her go, everything got better. It is of course much harder than it sounds, but work in progress, ya? Much

@AmyAgee 6 лет назад

These negative things may not have cost you a thing. Diamonds are created under pressure, not in fluffy pillows 💗 and, babe, you are a diamond 💎 And nobody likes that "perfect" person. And that "perfect" person is just as deeply flawed as any of us. 💗

@caitlinlewis6973 6 лет назад

You are an amazing role model because you are PERFECTLY REAL...while most aren’t. And, the right kind of people gravitate toward authentic, real, straight forward individuals like you. You are perfect, it’s the lie that culture keeps fronting that is fake. 😉💝💐

@retro-roost9518 6 лет назад

You have created now what you dreamed of in the past. Please stay strong with "no contact" with your (non) mom. It's paramount to your health. Your life is now beautiful, and you have created it through your pain. Many beautiful things in the world were created because of pain and heartache.

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

Thank you for your reminders, kind words, and support... I agree, no contact is essential at this point.

@archerintraining 6 лет назад

i think the BEST we can be as humans is to live with integrity with who we are at any stage of our Life's journey. One of the most mature and evolved things we can do is to take radical self-responsibility, imo. You come on here and are forever holding yourself accountable for you feelings, actions, and always seem to at least be trying to take the very best care for yourself that you can. That makes you a real inspiration to me, and I'm sure to many others. Not sure how many people are living in this truth. You're amazing, and to all those who had the opportunity to be closer to you and threw it away, girl that's their loss, big time! I wish i had ONE friend like you.

@plantlove2585 6 лет назад

I can relate to a lot of what you are talking about. I grew up with a super anxious narc-mom and that definitely left it's marks on my life and psyche. But I did work through a lot of these things. I have changed so much in the last 10 years, it's so rewarding. But in it, I had to be aware and quite careful with the self-improvement junkie. It is a funny thing. There you are trying to work on accepting yourself and self-love and the self-improvement in itself can go so far as to inherently deny that... On the note that you feel negatively about your past and wish for a different version, I can understand that so well, had that for so long. And it comes up every now and then. Just be patient. I think you can heal to the point where it is not much of a topic anymore. Nowadays I surprise myself by thinking, that I am actually thankful for everything that happened, because it taught me lessons I am very thankful for. I would have never become as aware of myself and been able to live consciously, did I not have a rough start to life. I think it made me also a very strong person. And I am beginning more and more to appreciate and acknowledge that. You don't learn when everything feels right and peaceful :D

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

Thank you for sharing your experiences with so much compassion 💗 It's soothing to know others have lived through and beyond these feelings. xo

@nicoleschmidt2225 6 лет назад

This is insane. Like watching a video of myself. From MaryKate and Ashley to wanting to have perfect skin to struggling with not having a perfect childhood. I feel like we are soul sisters. I too am turning 29 soon. I am going through some of the exact struggles at this exact moment. You're not alone. And thank you for discussing these issues. It helped me to not feel alone either😊 ❤

@AsNatureIntended13 6 лет назад

Lil-hun ♡ to me you ARE perfect !!!!!!! I love your rawness, your transparency, your authenticity your love and your hate, the relationship to your (now) husband, to your dogs and to your step-girls. I love how you are so diverse: superficial and deep, caring and hating on things, happy and sad/angry the list could go on.. I love how you open up about your deepest issues and shine light on things that WE ALL are struggling with. and your awareness, man... I feel like you and I are so similar and many people are feeling like this (I read that in the comments) and guess why ? We are all raw, real and vulnerable human beings living in a sick society where this is not made possible to be shown, without going thru crazy uncomfortable emotions. Our parents are crazy, school system is fucked up, meat industry, GMO, poverty and fucking everything else. You are doing SO FUCKING GOD DAMN WELL, jeez. I love your vids and I love your change and how you evolve. take care of yourself, too :* PS. Thank you for existing, my online sister that doesn't know me, haha. ♡♡♡

@Greyguitars1401 6 лет назад

I just started therapy Lily and a lot of what you said definitely resonates. Thank you so much for sharing, you’re amazingly awesome.

@kitdixon1210 6 лет назад

Lily, I’m a little late commenting on this video so I’m not sure if you will read this, but I wanted to thank you for being so real and vulnerable. It has taken me a long time to figure out that it’s our very imperfections and insecurities that make us relatable and lovable to other people. Also, what you said about your mother hit home for me. My mom died over Christmas holiday when I was 19. My emotional processor is extremely slow, And I did not start to truly grieve for a couple of years. First I felt anger because I realized that the pressure she put on me to look a certain way triggered an eating disorder that I struggled with until a year or so ago. Well who am I kidding: I still struggle with it, and probably always will. It made me extremely resentful and bitter towards her, even though I miss her dearly. The fact that I couldn’t confront her about it made me feel like there was this unresolved issue that kept me from moving past the anger phase to true grief and acceptance. But Recently I have come to the realization that the real reason I haven’t moved past the anger stage to deeper grieving is because it is easier for me to be mad than to feel sad. I’m sure you have some serious grief and emotional processing to go through yourself... It’s always so much more painful around the holidays. I’ll just leave a few more words that have gotten me to move forward with personal growth when stuck on the past and on missing relationships: “ Sometimes you have to learn to be your own mother.” Sending love 💚

@Mcg92669 6 лет назад

You are so beautiful Lily and REAL! I have also struggled with this and grew up with toxic alcoholic parents. Both of which still are. Eating disorders, many addictions and depression plagued my very being throughout my life. Your thoughts resonate so deeply for me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

@Valerie-vt5rp 6 лет назад

You are so inspiring. You are so relateable. You are so strong, so intelligent. You can reflect and analyse amazingly. And you are so honest. Lily, you are sooooo valuable! I am so grateful you are nor perfect. Thank god. Otherwise we would not be able to learn so much from you.. We probably would have never had the chance to listen to you, speaking so wise, intelligent and healing.

@intention.adventure 3 года назад

I am 3 years late to finding this particular video of yours, despite the fact that I binge watch your videos pretty regularly... I just go to sleep most nights listening to stories of vitamin A and antinutrients and such. I watch plenty of your videos while I'm fully awake too, just doubling up with the subconscious programming at night as well ;) I don't know how I've missed this video after all this time, but today was the "perfect" day, nay, hour for me to come across this video. I know you're not really on the Tube these days, but if you find this comment, I hope you know that these videos are still helping people and having at huge positive impact. At least in my life and subsequently the people I affect. Just really needed this one today. Thank you for your vulnerability.

@jenniferl6208 6 лет назад

You are fantastic. Perfect is an illusion.... Hold your head high. You don't need anyone else's approval to be proud of who you are. 💙

@MooseWithoutAntlers 6 лет назад

I can relate so much to you wanting the perfect family. I was adopted and grew up in a household with adult roommates instead of actual parents. I can relate to never feeling good enough - a feeling it seems I've had as soon as I was born, and a feeling I will probably carry with me for the rest of my life. Thank you for making this video. It was definitely something I needed to hear.

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

I wish you'd gotten the family we all deserved. I hope one day you and I will know what enough feels like... I have faith there's a way 💗

@MistyMoma 6 лет назад

I totally agree with Sunny K’s comment below and would like to add, as my mom told me once, if you found your perfect, what would you ever learn from it. Being not perfect brings you excitement, joy, fear, all the emotions that create an exceptional and exciting life. Plus think how boring life would be if we were all perfect. Yuck. Lol. Love you Lily, you are doing an awesome job. Blessings.

@rc9638 6 лет назад

Thank you for discussing this subject! It's great to know there are others who live with similar situations and have similar thoughts. I actually started crying while watching and am still sniffling. Please don't stop posting videos, ever! You're an inspiration and a role model. Again, thank you!

@kateejune1450 6 лет назад

So spot on with this video! And also...totally a closet MK and A fan as a pre-teen too. No judgement at all, you're not alone

@missikelly 6 лет назад

A few years ago I was only interested in RU-vidrs doing videos on hair and make-up, etc. but as I've gotten older and my interests have changed I'm more into health, wellness and following inspiring people, like yourself, so subsequently I unfollowed nearly all those other accounts - Not because I didn't "like" them anymore but because I had changed! Try not to be so hard on yourself! I can relate to so much that you talk about on a personal level & they way you live your life now is an inspiration to me! Love from Ireland! p.s. I'm running late for work but wanted to write this comment before I forgot 😂 ❤️❤️❤️

@melinadigiacomantonio4186 6 лет назад

I relate so much to you, your story, your struggles, your passions and even your personality. I remember you mentioning that you have 5 or so planets in Capricorn and I also happen to have that haha. I just wanted to say that your channel brings so much joy into my life and such a sense of safety and comfort. It's really just amazing, what you put in your videos. The heart and soul and REALNESS here is extremely comforting and just a pleasure to watch. It reminds me so much of who I am, who I strive to be and who i strive to be surrounded with. Thank you for sharing yourself with us 💛💚💙

@anealin 6 лет назад

I could listen to you talking on this topic for hours. It's so about me. Thanks for the reminder. These days I felt pretty much frustrated about everything going not perfect. So I just ate my popcorn and chilled not thinking too much about my acne (and stupid irresponsible people around me, etc.) Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

@melissayarrow2382 6 лет назад

I love your imperfections because it makes you relatable. I have such similarity in our family situation,perfections,addictions,eating disorder etc. I love watching someone I can relate to that shows the raw reality of their journey. It’s very refreshing. You are perfectly imperfect and that’s perfection 😊

@gojiberrygirl4924 6 лет назад

This was one of my favourite videos from you and I have watched them all! Because it felt like me speaking in your body being able to put all my feelings and emotions into well put together (well spoken as you always are)thoughts! I just know that most people feel the same.. I want everything in my life perfect, I hate my job, not happy with my relationship fully, having basically similar relationship or no relationship right now with my mum as you, having no dad at all because he was alcoholic who died several years ago;not happy with my belly fat dreaming of looking like those fitness models or so with the perfect hair because I fucked mine up with bleach last year "trying to be more perfect lol" so now I have short ugly broken bob 😂and all I dream is long silky natural shiny healthy hair...Etc etc...And then to realize - how come it's true that so many people would dream to have my life, my stable 9-5 job, my skin and so on. I feel like unappreciative bitch. But the struggle is real. We want what we don't have, and when we get it we want something else and so on.. When you described your perfect dream life there I smiled and thought - mine would be yours- in Hawaii, eating healthiest foods, with good looking and kind man by your side (who would actually read books like "5love languages" are you kidding me?😀),with pets and self employed with RU-vid doing job that's your passion and living life with fucking integrity! Then again I'm absolutely sure once I lived your life, I'd dream of perfectly clean house etc..All what you mentioned..You see we are all one we are all so alike! 😇💟

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

Thank you for taking your time to share... It feels good to know we're not in this alone and that, realistically, other people don't need us to be perfect, they need us to be real and kind. Thank you for being real and kind 💗 it's balm to my soul, too.

@Chiekopops 6 лет назад

You're an inspiring and honest role model and have really helped me in my own personal self development. Your videos keep me motivated, grounded and always learning something new for that I thank you, you're honestly my favorite channel. Really struggling with this topic right now, I'm a young woman in my early 20's feeling weighed down by societies unrealistic standards and pressures to be a certain way. Thank you for this video. Sometimes it's hard to remember that a state of perfection doesn't exist for anybody.

@andrielisilien 6 лет назад

My fiance has the same problem with perfection and his own critical mother. He even considering the idea of taking my surname when we marry. I once left him a love note saying that he is enough and this sweetheart of mine nearly cried!! I'm going to take on your phrase, "perfectly adequate." Because he has qualities that matter.

@Chell1323 6 лет назад

Hey Lily, I’m a year older than you and I too loved Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movies/shows. Ah, pop culture and how it’s such a negative influencer for people’s expectations of reality. For example, we know after watching an action movie that we can’t go out and jump a ravine with a bus but many (including myself) will watch a rom-com and begin trying to manifest similar ‘happily ever after salvation’ relationships - so unhealthy! I quite enjoy being perfectly adequate but also berate myself when I’m not a perfect mom, or the perfect friend, when my house isn’t perfectly clean etc.

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

That's such a good point about the action v. rom-com movies. Here's to less berating 🥂 (that's kombucha)

@Chell1323 6 лет назад

lilykoi hawaii Cheers to less self- berating!!! Mmmm, now I want some kombucha!!!

@queeniebaggins3732 6 лет назад

I loved Hilary Duff movies...even know we are the same age...😐

@luvfitall 6 лет назад

Spirit Family I was into MK and Ash too. Hehe

@kendrar9006 6 лет назад

Sending 💚 and understanding. You have no idea how much many of us relate to you and your struggles, as well as how it helps others to share your story. Hang in there!

@danielaboteroconcha3797 6 лет назад

I think we all hear you Lilly! Specially women in this time space where social media creeps our minds with so much exposure of how perfect other´s people´s lives are. I also struggle with accepting myself as imperfectly perfect as I am. Sometimes I succeed for a while, sometimes my forever perfectionist ego bothers me badly, but I´ve even come to accept that even that is part of the game of being human! You know what Jim Carrey said (something like this): I wish everybody was rich and famous so they can see it´s not the answer... I think that if we all reached our dreamed ¨perfect¨ self, perfect body, perfect life... we would find something else to dream for because that´s our nature as human beings! I´m not even trying to make peace with the fact that perfection is unachievable but the fact that I will always strive for perfectionism and will never be satisfied, and that is ok. Keep doing you Lilly, your message is very inspiring I never miss a video!

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

So very true, thank you Daniela!!! 💗

@paulinedusseau3384 6 лет назад

Watching your videos is really grounding and comforting. You are not perfect but you are much more because you are REAL. You are a very inspiring humane being and need to be convinced by that! Never unsubscribing (people do that???) :) xxx

@mece6005 6 лет назад

Thank you so, so much for making this video! It was great listening to you talk about this topic. ❤ I've struggled with this myself my whole life. Never learned to believe in my own capabilities, nor did I learn how to be satisfied with anything I do. It's so easy to list what I'm "bad at" and so hard to list what I'm good at. I want to be liked by everyone, and especially by men who could give me the confirmation I never got from my dad. Sadly, people don't seem to like me more, no matter how perfect I try to be or how much I try to satisfy everyone else. They actually seem to like me less? Don't know how to get out of this trap 💔 Anyways, big thanks Lily! This was very raw and very brave of you. Take good care 🌸

@anealin 6 лет назад

Perfectionism... a capricorn thing.

@emilyrosner 6 лет назад

Speaking to my soul. I value your videos a lot. Thanks for making them and sharing so much with us x

@winnielie9861 6 лет назад

I really needed to hear this, thank you for sharing. Glad you're being your true self now. Sometimes it's so hard to not be hard on yourself!

@ANL88424 6 лет назад

I unsubscribed from you once because I lost the desire to maintain my own healthy lifestyle for a time and I was miserable so I didn’t want to see your videos reminding me of what I lost. It had nothing to do with you. You are amazing!

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

I totally get that. Thanks and love to you, Nancy ❤️

@rawsomegrl 6 лет назад

You are my favorite RU-vidr!

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

Thank you, that's lovely to hear!!

@jessmorocco 6 лет назад

thank you so much for speaking this and sharing. resonates so much with me. sounds like we had similar childhoods/parents/etc. also, love how petunia is just gently listening to your story. looks like she is showing you lots of love and support

@hooklineandinker 6 лет назад

When were Mary Kate and Ashley in a movie where they had a mom? I was thoroughly obsessed too. No shame here.... ❤️

@lunalu5272 6 лет назад

Please forgive me, I don't want to seem insensitive at all, i know this is a deep subject and has SO MUCH TRUTH and feeling, i can totally relate with many things you mentioned!

@ocean08 6 лет назад

You've come so far and you've still got a lot of life left to live. You're doing great! ❤

@hollimarie1111 6 лет назад

I think perfection is based on perception anyway. I mean what is perfect to someone else may not be perfect to you and visa versa. I have always loved the slight imperfections or I like to call them unique characteristics that others have. The world would be so boring if everyone were running around being what society perceives as perfect. But I have to say that I beat myself up all the time and wish I had this or wish I had that. I think it's a human feeling to want and need things to feel validated in some way. I am in the beauty industry and I find myself nit picking at myself before I walk out the door in the morning because people are so close to my face when I'm doing their make up. I know they can see every little thing that I missed that morning. My eyebrows weren't completely maintained....or my chin has a blemish on it. Did I cover it enough? I feel you lady. And that's just the beginning of what I nit pick myself about. The other day I finally had to ask myself what my purpose was and I think that's what it really boiled down to for me personally. I really needed to pinpoint what impact I wanted to make in the world. And I think you are making a major impact in so many people's lives. I'm sure you didn't wake up one day and just think wow I'm going to be a youtuber. It just flows. Everything flows like waves. Sort of like the ocean. One wave comes in and brings us some surprises and then goes out again either carrying us away with it or sending back more surprises. If we sit on shore long enough and wait for the waves to roll in and bring us surprises then we would have not really lived. I think you're living lady. Keep it up and remember that how you perceive yourself is not always how others perceive you.

@samantha-ellenlambert.7512 6 лет назад

'I'm an beautiful person and I've got a lot to give to this world.' Write this up and put it up somewhere you'll read it a lot. Love u Lily. x

@meghanemma728 6 лет назад

Thank you Lily! Your vulnerability is contagious 💜 Realized a few things for myself from watching this video. Brene Brown is amazing!

@melhall82 6 лет назад

My therapist just told me about Brene Brown! Now you too... I'll be sure to look into it now. Thank you!

@shozzy_id 6 лет назад

Brené Brown ;-)

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

She is a life-saver!! 💗

@louisefreeman7942 6 лет назад

As well as Brenè Brown, check out Kristen Neff and Tara Brach.❤

@DimaRakesah 6 лет назад

Lily, girl... I feel you. I see youtube videos of these perfect girls and I wonder why I can't be that. I go through bursts of needing to change everything to be closer to that impossible level of perfection and it leaves me exhausted and frustrated and unhappy. Maybe perfection isn't as great as we outsiders imagine it to be. Maybe inside they are balls of shame and anxiety, too.

@user-gr5fi1ls5u 6 лет назад

Lilly, thank you! I feel like studying myself while watching those kind of your videos:) I had a struggle with all of that perfectionism and later I understood it wasn't really sustainable for life. So I decided to make my best and not to stress out. Plus, I think, I am a fan of your personality =) PS. With love from Ukraine 🇺🇦💕

@mirella8733 6 лет назад

I absolutely love these kind of video's.

@laurabowmanchannel 6 лет назад

this was so validating. thank you for sharing.

@MaryLovenLight 6 лет назад

I so appreciate you existence and transparency. You have helped me a lot. Something that has really helped me with my own struggles that I feel may be similar is "The work" by Byron katie...helped me with some of my deepest shit. Thank you again for your videos. Blessings

@dianawilson2109 6 лет назад

I know how you feel about growing up not feeling good enough and like you have to be perfect. I was raised in a cult that told me that because I'm gay I'm disgusting and I needed to "become straight". this made me want to die. luckily I finally escaped Mormonism after 18 years and even though my family is still in the cult they accept me and my girlfriend (Which took a long time and they still struggle with it) I still struggle with feeling like I need to be perfect all the time and I'm sure the fact that i grew up in a family that was brainwashed into believing I had to fit into their lifestyle had a lot to do with it.

@kiannam8082 6 лет назад

i am so grateful for your youtube channel!

@lilykoihawaii 6 лет назад

I appreciate you saying so 💗

@mietvanhee5512 6 лет назад

'Look underfoot. You are always nearer to the true sources of your power than you think. The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are. Don't despise your own place and hour. Every place is the center ofthe world.” John Burroughs

@miss.apprehended 6 лет назад

There's no such thing as perfection -there's always room for improvement. Top athletes for example, can be seen as perfect at their profession; if they got the sense of gee i'm perfect I guess I can rest assured now that perfection has been attained, that mindset wouldn't have them at the top of their game much longer.

@kitkatkitten1338 6 лет назад

I was obsessed with Mary Kate and Ashley too. I thought they were so beautiful and funny. I used to watch two of a kind and think they were just perfect.

@shellrock5294 6 лет назад

Girl......you need a dose of Tanny Raw - you are perfectly in perfect, as are we all. Your content helps so many so please realise that.xxxx

@mrjenn 6 лет назад

If you spent all the time it would take to be "perfect" all the time, there wouldn't be any *you* left. You'd just be a boring shell. Flaws make people unique and interesting. I just try to focus on staying engaged with life and being happy. I don't succeed at that every day, but I think that's about the best I can do.

@jackpepper2501 5 лет назад

Hi Lily, Looks like a perfect Sunset to me. I imagine seeing nature as being perfect and even that probably ended not long after we started walking upright. We all have imperfections Lily yours are pretty awesome. Keep up the great work with your One of a Kind way it's perfectly you. Thanks for all that you share in your videos they're perfectly awesome. JP

@queeniebaggins3732 6 лет назад

Every time I hear the intro song I just completely relax 😉

@abliza776 6 лет назад

I love this video, I've struggled with perfectionism and bouts of OCD my whole life. You are so inspiring ~ Also I love your intro! :)

@ashleyross9139 6 лет назад

you are my definition of perfect!

@ReflectingShadow 6 лет назад

"perfect" is such a waste-of-time-and-energy-concept. it makes people so unhappy with whatever they have. i sometimes think we should feel this way because the unhappier you are the more you try to fill the gaps with consumption goods - which ultimately fuels the economy doesn't it. well i'm done, i'm not able to be perfect, you've won. i'll leave the struggle to somebody else. i'll never be perfect. but maybe we'll survive and have happy times even being just.. us.

@LitsaPizza 6 лет назад

You can be very proud of yourself

@Tatiana-im6pq 6 лет назад

I love how open you can be :)

@blankettheif 6 лет назад

Hi Lilly. Thankyou for sharing this with us, I am in the same position but have learened to love and accept myself when i am alone with myself. A few things i am compelled to mention that i think you would find as facinating as I do.. The book 'the body keeps the score' by Bessel van der kolk is incredible. Its all about the mind body connection in and after trauma. In it, there is a therapist that uses a technique of electing pseudo parents, both the desired version and the real ones, and working out a reinactment of scenarios. The brain acts almost exactly the same as if it were really happening! Theres all sorts of other stuff that i think youd enjoy in there also. Facinating book. The other is talks by a bhuddist monk here on youtube, ajahn Brahm 🌼, he has such a gentle, humerous way of looking at life and has softened many of my sharp edges around many uncomfortable topics in my life. Both of them have helped me let go of perfectionism. Take care girl, i love your videos and watch them offten ✨

@oliviasamara3142 6 лет назад

You are the best Lily ! I learn so much from you :) Hugs from Norway

@kinglinn2466 6 лет назад

I can soooooo relate.

@cattoolady5144 6 лет назад

I recommend the book "Will i ever be good enough?" by Dr Karyl McBride. It really helped me as it is about how worthless we feel when we are raised by narcissistic mothers. Your mother reminds me of mine, when you've talked about her in other videos. And remember perfection is boring and there is no one else in the world like you and that is a wonderful thing.

@Pennynats 5 лет назад

could you do a video on overcoming an emotionally absent mother? i know you've touched on it a few times but a video would be amazing !

@theresa9688 6 лет назад

I love you Lily.. lots of love from Germany.

@mimidey7743 6 лет назад

You are lovable and you are loved ❤️

@helenkennedy4661 6 лет назад

Great video, the intro is really cool!

@zadar19a 6 лет назад

But you are the perfect girl wit the perfect hair and perfect skin with a perfect job and a perfect place to live! That is literally how I think of you. Being a perfectionist is something you are born with. It is very hard and exausting but also it makes people succesfull like you and makes tham truth and improvement seekers. Not a bad trade.

@luvfitall 6 лет назад

You are the best🙌

@NikkiCemeteryChicC 6 лет назад

This was a lot more helpful than you know! Although, I felt like you were describing yourself with all that perfectness lol

@matildasorum 6 лет назад

I really recognize how you feel. Some times I think about how great life would be if I was skinny and perfect. (I know you are not only speeking about looks, but this is just an example) Then I realize, me being skinny has never made life any easier. (I have managed to be thin a lot of times, but you know...) My houseband hasen't appreciated me any more, and I have been just as worried not to be loved for who I am. And another thing, if one did have a perfect body, then what? Should you stand in front of the mirror all day admiring yourself? 😅Pathetic...

@weirdomermaid 6 лет назад

I resonate with the parts about your Mom and your family. I've really struggled with the pain, anger and sadness that came from growing up with a NPD mother. It's been years of work and self-awareness to get better and better, and I am still working on it. The book "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" helped me tremendously. Check it out!

@Vranaanna 5 лет назад

Thank you

@09mkmkmk 6 лет назад

thank you

@estelabayarri 6 лет назад

I love perfectly addequate

@aussiewierd 6 лет назад

Ashley and Kate Olsen hated the fact they grew up as child stars. they stay very much out of the spotlight these days. We all want what we don't have X xxx I want to be Ellen Fisher eat perfect live in Hawaii and never lose patience with my 4 year old. I've got a long way to go lol

@Silvertestrun 6 лет назад

whoa wise wow. I hear ya

@mrslineibez 6 лет назад

yayyy!

@sararwtown 6 лет назад

I need friends like you, lily.

@hannahluciafarrell6377 6 лет назад

Self improvement addiction.... Haha me Too!

@violet4151 6 лет назад

Have you ever read Sam Harris's book Spirituality without Religion? You might really like its message about how we are always trying to make a world our consciousness is wanting to be in. We are always trying to find a path back to the present. Understanding the rules of the game allows us to play it differently. :)

@sabinamurman8968 5 лет назад

yup! PERFECT. IS. NOT. REAL.< AND we can only truly ever be really REALISTICALLY happy and our "best version" in life when we learn to love ourselves as is and the genesis of that, the underlining major ingredient in actually loving ourselves is understanding that all the things we don't like about ourselves, and any negative thing about us or what we might have said or done or not done is a product of a ***WOUND*** so sit with that every time you need to feel perfect or beat yourself up and no its not enabling to love yourself through and with your flaws its actually what's going to set you free from the cage in which you have turned your wounds into your demons and that is a product of a wound within itself as well. Bottom line it's not about being blissful and feeling amazing at all times it's about LOVE and love is compassion, love is empathy, love is holding space, and love is forgiveness and it's not a who you are in this reality its a practice in this reality. we practice love. love you Lilly, keep doing what you do. You have helped me a lot just by being you fully. Ram Ram

@lulolancy 6 лет назад

"Thank God I'm not a shit show." -----Lily's dog

@jackieouellette3139 6 лет назад

For your next Q & A video what tips would you give people who want to reduce their waste output? It bothers me so much throwing away razors/razor heads because they get dull but I don't see another way besides not shaving and I'm too used to it. The little stuff bothers me lol.