Pete Davidson's Best Stand-Up Jokes 

Afrikan Kodo he's so wholesome

@@leleliswoe5350 you understand he said he was going to finish but couldn’t because “mommy’s sick” and you say “he’s so wholesome” what the fuck.. hahahaha

@@yawannatilly can u please explain the joke

I laughed so much

🤣🤣🤣

Skete

Hehehe

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

That's what it sounds like too

Love this 💯👌🏽

I'm saying bro 😆

Pete, you’ll NEVER believe this…

He got nicki minaj, ariana and kim kardashian in one lifetime

@@gus7807 and Kim Kardashian

@@enriquepena2009 forgot abT her ima edit it

I guess that tatoo really did work

And also Kate Beckinsale, man he is already a legend

Anything is possible

Madeline cline now too

His accent is so much stronger here for some reason

Fhingas

😂😂

@@DaihatsuCharade1993 lolpll pollllololl

Statistics joke.

I feel bad for you bro if you think this shit is funny!

@@scottpurtle3577 ... You came on to complain? ... That's sad...

Scott Purtle 😂

Maybe he is

Wow thanks dude. Amazing perspective, thanks for sharing

Well I guess he went to heaven 🤷‍♀️

he litterly died from what he said he wouldnt die from too

Well said 😂

He’s a big mood for me

Aye it fits him

The first bit about the college dorm was not though. I mean unless he's dorming at an inner-city Community College... What the hell was he talking about. First year in the dorms fucking rocked. You don't care anything about the living situation you are so excited to be around people your age like-minded, and everyone there has half a brain at least and now you guys are the adults and no supervision it's awesome. You got to be a first-rate creeper not to come out of your shell and socialize or at least be a part of the community. He's focused on the toilet paper lol.

grego15 called being anti social or introverted

@@Masked_SVincent he must be at the extreme end, yet he does standup....The dorms are a mix of everybody. My roommate was a severe diabetic with an insulin pump and very quiet and just played video games and was "in the closet" but we still talk and he loved the dorms because he instantly became part of an equal community with open minded young people and could walk over to anyone's room at any hour to just kick it. We had 3 halls 1 girls and 2 boys and central connecting lounge with TV and kitchen. The place was built in the 60s so it was no Hilton but it rocked! Don't forget like hotels, there are paid workers to clean it. You have to be able to focus on academics and making connections. All dorms are very similarly like this. Where's the time machine!?

I’ll be the first to reply ig

@@LL-uw4qv bro really went three months without a reply

How can he be a natural on stage if he's awkward?

@@philferroni he is used to preforming doesn’t mean he isn’t awkward that’s a pretty clear trait of his

He is naturally unfunny. And i gave this dude a chance too. I wanted to see whats all hype about. My god I know comedy is subjective sometimes but if you think he is funny, you wont be in my circle for sure.

You absolutely CARRIED this comment section with this

Epic.

Bruh this comment is so underrated

I was about to comment that

I didn't get that part, can someone explain me :(

He sounded like a serial killer while saying that...😭😭😂

I swear his sooo funny

That part was too much 😆 no wonder his jokes are taken off air

that sounded *really* wrong

I was literally laughing so much I started coughing 💀

So what is it

hahahhahahahahhaah thats tough

@@JacobSca i made the comment vague, for a reason, and that reason wasn't shame.

@@JacobScathe question we’re all asking

Why explain what happened in the video?

@@mrme3719 cause its funny

@Drown the Socialists his awkwardness makes himself funny

@Drown the Socialists He looks great and is hilarious

@Drown the Socialists and your for some reason watching the video🤔🧐

Lmao same. I ended up doing both 💀😂

You do both.

You think this kids jokes are raw....you don't know real comedians. If you grew up in the early 90s you would have heard some real shit. But let's be honest your generation wouldnt like comedians back then because of how it uncensored they were. I mean they said anything from sexist to racist jokes that this generation couldn't handle. It would be too raw for you zoomers you would end up crying.

@@invidia44 bruh ur begging for an ok boomer meme, also comedy is subjective just bcuz u dont find it funny doesnt mean it's not real humor. If it makes u laugh, its humor

@@invidia44 what they mean by raw is that some of his jokes are very deeply personal to him and it makes people sad seeing him joke about the shit he’s gone through. it has nothing to do with being racist/sexist lmfaoooo that’s just plain disrespect

also Kate Beckinsale

And Kaia Gerber

LIAR

so what lol

@Alycia HooperHe and Gerber broke up back in January. He is currently single unless he is in a relationship that he is keeping secret (which would actually be a great idea for him with the way that all of his relationships are so heavily scrutinized by the media, social and otherwise).

Dude watching this high is just 👌

I‘d probably die bruuv collapsed lung from to much laugh coughing

His eyes blink separately... it's unsustainable.. but for now it's enjoyable to watch

@@meghanhixon3241 He’s not funny at all

@@meghanhixon3241 I'm absolutely blasted rn i dont even know what year it is

Pete: I got my priest to stop hitting on me. I introduced him to my brother. I got an A. Yeah but your brother got a D

that's cringey

@@birdy5450 You're "cringey"

@@drewscholl6347 No, actually op is

@@user-qv3ec7qk6u COPIED

@Trump 2020 USA USA USA ......

@Trump 2020 USA USA USA Talkin bout Trump yeah?

Content and delivery. Some people just have it nailed.

His cadence is a lot like Chappelle's.

@Trump 2020 USA USA USA pardon, care to explain?

You mean, he was joking? Fuuuuuck

Omg wow like for reals? It’s almost like he was telling a joke or something 🙈 but fr thank GODDDD you were here to clear things up for us. Thank you.

@@dungoofed8983 cool story bro

@@cpsbBXCX okay boomer

He is so brutally honest.Its kinda scary..

"She might need these tissues"😥

he made fun of an ex navy seal who lost his eye. show some god damn respect for those who served.

Icecube88 it’s a joke. I’m sure people who actually served, unlike you, can appreciate some dark humor.

Cause he thinks everyone is out to get him. He's a disrespectful shit that hates being disrespected.

@@Icecube88 The guy he joked about, Dan Crenshaw, laughed and joked back. He even went on the show with Pete and fired back. Because he has a sense of humour, unlike you. Also, Dan does look like a bond-villain. It's not offensive to say that.

Nothing To See Here I bet you if Pete dissed a Democrat he would be on his “lIbERaLs rUiN COmEDy” crusade

Yeahhhh

They're both from New York and have similar backgrounds but apparently I'm not allowed to be more specific than that because my comment keeps getting censored

same

*irresistible

Chad

YESSS LIKE HES UGLY BUT IK IF HE FLIRTED WITH ME ID FALL IN LOVEE

I don’t know him and I am head over hills for him

yessss omg

He is gonna be in the next suicide squad movie and I'm pumped

@@lizzyelisabeth6797 when is that coming out?

@@deisydiaz4473 I think it's sometime next year. I'll double check

I was thinking the same thing. His deadpan humour and dark self-deprecating jokes give me troubled villain vibes.

She has a pretty face and that is it He could do much better

@@qanon1286 do you personally know her?

@@gwsjulie4216 Do You?..

@@qanon1286 no which is why i don’t speak about her as if i know her personally lol

@@gwsjulie4216 ..

I got a friend that looks like he just smelled a horrible fart just like pete, i can hook u two up if u want?

Z J Did u just insult yet compliment your friend? Anyways if he looks like Pete I’m down 😎

@@yippee-tn5ln yes i did, his names Buster P. Hymen. hes real slick with the ladies add him on Facebook!

Z J yeah no u lost me at buster. Better luck next time ;)

Z J I get it that’s why I used the excuse of buster 💀 I wasn’t born yesterday but u also got my hopes up for nothing lmao! :( 😂

ouch hahah

I know 😅 I just got to that part… RIP Coolio

Unlike coolio...

Same but he has my attention!

Yeah one day I just kinda went on stage and started talking about my life and here I am serval years later

He literally talks like the weird kid at kickons just talking to strangers who aren’t really listening or talking back so he just keeps talking and everyone lets him.

That's because he isn't a comedian, he's a ghoul!

J

Bad posture

I sea it

Frl lol

he always stands like he is preparing to be suprise attacked

He's the white version 😝

What age is that? Hopefully not 26 cuz this is not for me

Charlie Misch he’s clearly snoop dog

@@charliemisch7325 this is definitely for me and im 15

14 and funniest shit I've ever seen

Charlie Misch 16 and it’s pretty funny to me but humor is subjective i guess

No

he’s chopped but his personality & height makes him 11/10

@@exoyria5446 maybe a 9/11 tho

No it doesnt

@@SILENTPRAYERS HANDBAJSJA ICONIC

The hundreds of people in the audiences laughing, then saying he isnt funny just proves you dont understand what you're saying

Lunatic MD wh....what? I just said that he IS funny to some people. Including me. I was commenting on the people saying he isn’t funny as if everyone finds the same things funny

@@sabrinaly2942 im agreeing with you!

@@BassLineProductionsI to be a x xx just

@@scottmccarter717 I love Pete's comedy and clearly lots of people do as well so I am sick of the random "hes not funny" comments

I do this with my family ND friends allll the time gooo pete :)

Like he’s not a rare breed of men or something

So true

Fr he’s young, sculpted, tall, cute yet distinctive face, brunette and tats, like that’s just legit a teen girl go to a majority who disagree either have a different preference or are millennials and older.

Ok simp

@@-itzmocha-3215 you do realize he's a millennial right? Lol

really though he was 7 i dont know how much it could affect him now, i think he is just fine and accepting of it, it really probably is just for giggles.

My mother died when i was 8, now i m 20, she was my whole world before and now I don't remember her face properly...

@@monke980 You shouldn’t speak on things you don’t understand. Give me your real response to his pain.

​@@Kal-El207 lol k bud.

@@Kal-El207 everyone copes in their own way. Some people get way quicker over grief than others do🤷‍♀️

stanton island eye- thank you for that

Yea I watched it on here. It was $5. Pretty good. 👍🏻

Its a pretty good movie, id recommend it

Enjoyed it, Had some real dark parts in it. Bill Burr was great.

Great movie

It's because he's dad died there and he is ok with that. If a son of a victim feels ok making a 911 joke people don't care that much.

@@guilhermefranco2930 *died

Yeah they are just too blind to see the world and they don't have a sense for dark humor

It’s because his humor is a little too real for them haha

Stg.

Pete: im not good with girls Also Pete: dates Ariana Grande

This seems like a dumb comment mainly due to the like to dislike ratio

You have to be kidding! This is feeble.

*lockdown

@@helloeveryone5870 "WHERE QUARENTINE HAS BROUGHT ME" I know the name of my own segment bud 😉

Still living in a pandemic

No hes just high

I know your joking, but these clips are old, and they were not friends then. They might have met on Wild N Out at this point, but they actually became friends while filming The Dirt years later.

@@user-ox2il1nh9v you know "their" joking. Like their kinda joking

Really???

You haven't heard jeselnik or Jeff ross

He’s decent but not the ballsiest 🤦🏾‍♂️

@@John-Doe-Yo some of y’all clearly don’t understand basic english. I said he’s ONE of the ballsiest humans

@@scottyidiotic you’re right

@@johnnyparsnips7641 Ha!!! Was going to my exact question! Cause honestly he's the main reason I want to see the movie.

@@johnnyparsnips7641 Did you see it? If so was Bill Burr great??

@@clydedrexler7080 burr was great and the film is fantastic!

"Big time adolescence" too..

I made this joke at the end. "Broaden your horizons, instead if smoking Staten Island weed smoke Manhattan weed." My actual joke

half of me wants to say "yeah all comedians stand up and stand there while they do stand up comedy" but the way he is standing i totally get what you're saying.

🧍‍♂️

Omg😂😂😂😂

💀🤣

Bruuh

Danggg LOL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣