Phil In The Blanks | Ep 172 | Navigating Narcissism 

It’s dangerous to confront a malignant narcissist. After 26 years of emotional, verbal then physical abuse, I divorced my ex husband. When I told him if he didn’t go to therapy with me I was going to leave the marriage. He went ballistic and attacked and choked me. Luckily I was able to escape. He had told me for years that if I ever left him he’d make my life a living hell…and for 8 years after he did just that. I’ve been remarried 20 years and realized I’d never really been loved before. Honestly, I don’t believe these people can change. No body believed how bad it was all those years. I met my now husband a year after I left my marriage. He went to all of my court hearings and witnessed the insanity. He was blown away. He’d never met anyone that was so manipulative and abusive and lied about everything. I finally felt validated that I wasn’t crazy. I wish I’d heard something like this decades ago.💜

Confronting a narcissistic is like talking to the wall. They will use you until there's literally nothing left. RUN!!!

The best part with dealing with narcissistic people is NO CONTACT.

I was married to a doctor who was the worst narcissist you could imagine. I divorced him after 17 years. It's been 23 years since I took him to court. I won but I have been a recluse and beaten down ever since I met him. I ask myself how I could have gotten involved with him. I was a nurse and I lost my mind, I think. But Im an old lady now and still feel broken. I was always outgoing and fun, had many friends. Now I am alone and sad.I still can't believe one person could totally break another human being.

It's very difficult when the narcissist is a parent.

Narcissists resent you because you ARE so healthy, and they're not. They know they're not, and they hate us for it.

After 34 years I realized I’ve been surrounded by narcissists my whole life

It took me until my mid 40's to realize that my narc parent ENJOYED sabotaging, demeaming, and humiliating me. I had Stockholm Syndrome and spent decades defending them, not realizing all the while they were deliberately out to harm me. Once I got the memo, I acted accordingly and left them behind.

I was married for 30 years to a man with NPD. I had no awareness of what the issue was. He increasingly became more paranoid, more grandiose, and more abusive. He was physically, verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive. These people are impossible to have a relationship with much less a marriage.

Thank you for educating the public on this epidemic. I was with a narcissist for 16 years. Leaving him and the smear campaign, harassment along with legal abuse nearly destroyed my life. He looked to destroy me and everyone and everything I loved. I have not spoken to him in 5 years but his manipulation was so deep that now I am an alienated parent and have not seen my son now 28 for almost 3 years all based on lies. I live in grief. To take a mother’s child and destroy a loving relationship is a crime. When I studied narcissism I realized my mother is a narcissist and I have been a lifetime survivor. My brother ended his life in 2012. This personality disorder can have deadly consequences as it did to my family. The education of narcissism and abuse needs to be in schools, our young people need to be aware. Great video🙏

"Don't give them the power to determine who you are." This is a lifelong lesson when you have been raised by a narcissist. Thank you for this powerful and educative video.

"Not everyone you lose is a loss".... Dr.Phil Love this!

After 8 years of a terrible relationship. Along the way, I remembered thinking. He is stealing my life, my identity. He is love bombing me so i am reliant. I saw recognised things that were wrong with no name. Many more patterns. Thank you for educating me. The education also gave me the strength to walk away. Leave my fear based life.

OMG Dr. Phil I let my Narc girlfriend control me for over 6 years. She threw me out twice but I kept coming back to her. She had this strong hold on me. But last year a week before Christmas I left her and purchased my own house without her knowing. That was the only way I could escape her stronghold. In addition, she was also an opportunist which was even worse. I recently had her name removed on a tattoo so there is no more reminders. I feel so much better. I am finally at peace. Thank you for ALL your podcasts! 👍

I was in a relationship with a man who has NPD. I still get sad , and I always remember how discounted I was for 7 years. It's the 'gift' that keeps on giving.

Emily you are so right. I spend hours thinking about how to fix this; fix someone. And in the end, we can only truly fix ourselves.

Dr Phil, there's another type of response that a narcissist will display: you tell them that something they did bothered you and they sit there like golden retrievers, staring intensely at a spot on the floor, not hearing what you're saying, or they simply act like they can't hear you. I used to do this, but it was after someone in my family had really effed me over and I had to see them on holidays. I stopped talking to all of them and got my head on straight finally, at the age of 62. I escaped a lifetime of crap from mom and two sisters' houses of cards of lies and their absolute refusal to even acknowledge that anything was ever wrong. They all would rather their children have emotional issues than ever admit that they may have made a mistake.

I was a wedding planner and one of my assistants came in during an (unscheduled) consultation because their grandchild had just been hit by a car and died! I was in shock and took a few minutes to comfort them , but the bride said , ‘well…anyway… we were talking about which forks to use at the reception, cocktail or regular size.’ She was upset that someone had interrupted her fork question when their GRANDCHILD HAD JUST DIED! No empathy whatsoever. Good luck to that bride groom!

My demonic sister turned my entire family against me. For the 3 years my son was dying of cancer i did not get one word of comfort or support from any of them. That is evil to the core.

Thank you Dr. Phil for the information. My friend told me my husband is a narcissist and gave me some of the things they do and say. I thought he could go to counseling and get help but, now I know that will not work. He becomes so angry over little things and our home is always on edge. Even our dog hides from him when he gets in his moods. We have been married for 6 years and it seems to be getting worse. He is verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive. I talk to friends and my mom quite often so I can vent. But when he started getting migraines he really became physically abusive. He takes credit for all the good things that happen and leaves me cleaning up all the crap so to speak. If anything goes wrong he yells and screams and becomes physical if I cannot get out of the house. He blocks the door way so I can't leave and then says he needs the car. We only have one car. I feel like he talks in circles all the time and it literally makes me feel crazy. I was hoping our house would sell in time for the Holidays so, I can get out of this craziness. After I get out I am going to need a ton of counseling myself so I can be a mentally healthy person again. If it were not for my friend bringing up the narcissistic behavior I would have continued to think it was me. Thank you for helping me see he is just not fixable.

Dr Phil, when you rattled off the things they say to us, I was SHOCKED. "What's wrong wit you?" and, "Why can't you just be happy?" I would also like to add: "Calm down!" That's one I've heard them say many times. All they're saying is, "Take the bait. Take the bait. Take the bait."

Thank you, Dr. Phil, for shining a light on this problem. It is widespread and I think that it can be proven in a court of law that its consequences are much more lethal than most people realize.

My narcissistic brother stole our family business with his embarrassingly wild, non-stop onslaught of lies - because he ‘cared’ so much. Yup, the victim at every turn. You described him perfectly. BEWARE. He took down, fractured, and destroyed a good family. B-E-W-A-R-E !

Isolation! Now I get it. 20 years of marriage to one with 3 kids that progressively worsened,the kids were pited against each other and me. You, sir, are spot on. I warned I would leave in a year if there was no change. The kids were grown to young adults,I was bashed and embarrassed at the oldest sons wedding and kept my promise I left. The rage was epic but worth it,it only took 10 years and one hundred thousand,yet I'm doing great, and the kids still love me.

This should be required viewing for students.

Thank you so much Dr Phil. This is a fantastic insight for beginners. It is a sad fact that these people are so evil. That's why they parasite on healthy victims because we are innocent and could not imagine such evilness.

I am watching this video and I can't believe how they are all the same. Last year I lost two sisters three months apart. My ex told me"You need to just put it behind you and move on with your life.. " that is the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me 😢

I was unfortunately married to my kids mother for 15 years and never had an idea of what a Narcissist was. I just thought she was just mad for some reason. She mentally beat me down for years and I had no idea why I felt empty. I saw so many red flags at the beginning and just kept going. Thankfully we got divorced two years ago but it’s still been though. She’s done all the typical Narcissistic behavior and so it’s very clear now. We need more people to become aware of this disorder because so many aren’t aware and are dealing with these people that tearing lives apart.

Human Society is BASED ON NARCISSISM....We do need to look at that. And Society is falling apart because of it.

I dated a guy that did "leveling" with his 16 year old son who has cerebral palsy and is on crutches. His son asked to take a Ju Jitsu lesson. The boy took the lesson, which I attended. The lesson went great and the boy was very happy, proud, and had a wonderful time. Ju jitsu is a martial art that involves a lot of rolling around on the ground. At least this lesson did. Anyway, as we three walked to the car, the father says, "I didn't know if you were doing Ju jitsu or dating. " I absolutely cringed as I saw the boy's face fall and go dark. My heart broke for him. He basically called his son a homosexual, engaging in a homosexual act. He turned a rare bright spot in the boy's incredibly difficult life, into a memory of intense shame and trauma. The boy never took another lesson. The constant gas lighting of his son, and myself, was the reason I only went on 5 dates with him. A sick individual.

So many people who suffer under these people. I have a sister who I recently realized has this narc disorder. I am the scapegoat. I am 58 today.

My daughter didn’t survive her covert narcissist husband. She had enough and finally tried to break free. He wouldn’t allow that. He murdered her last September 2022 and then killed himself. She had always given in before but this time was different. We were all on edge. We could see him ramping up his efforts. He was getting more desperate. Dr. Phil is correct. After you leave is the most dangerous time. Be careful.

I’ve listen to many talks on narcissism, it’s rampant in our family, and I must say that your talk is one of the best that I have ever heard on explaining the situation, and how to cope with it. Thank you very much.

Being married to a narcissist is extremely difficult, especially when they abuse the children and you feel you have no way out.

The one thing that I notice in my own life is that with all narcissistic types they found a way to separate me from friends and family. I had friends that drifted away because they were uncomfortable with the situation. In my marriage I lost my sister's love before I became pregnant. I went through my pregnancy with almost no support. Later there was some reconciliation with my sister but not the same. I love my daughter and had to deal with him turning her against me by saying things like I was an unfit mother. She is now grownup and pregnant and suffering from depression. As soon as you see the signs of separation from family and friends, GET OUT. Don't engage with them at all, period. Once you have children that isn't an option. By the way, my daughters father is a therapist. After we split and I told him I was tired of feeling suicidal, he laughed.

“You think you’re gonna vent and feel better, no you’re not” 😂 So true, I made that mistake

I appreciate you as a doctor admitting that doctors are narcissists! I feel validated! I would say about 90%. another one is lawyers. But having research this topic for 20 years you presents the most coherent and accurate descriptions of these people.

Thanks so much from Canada. Gave it to a most upset husband who feels suicidal, so betrayed and hurt. She is evil beyond words. Anyway, I gave him all your teachings on what every angle of narcissism looks like. He’s studying them right now, thank heavens. Again thanks once more. God bless you and I know you will keep up the good work.

Thanks, Dr. Phil! I was fired by a narcissistic boss several months ago. She was cruel to me for years, exploited me, was manipulative, and eventually fired me out after all the abuse. I've had a lot of anger and grief about this, and I've ruminated way too much. I could not believe someone could treat someone so callously and get away with it. I doubt she felt an ounce of guilt over the way she treated me. Saying it's because we are too healthy has been very helpful to me to understand. No one who is healthy could conceive treating others that way, and it makes me see that I am a good person, despite how my boss smeared me name.

Thank you Dr.Phil for being so genuine and realistic about narcissism.

Ignore the narcissists. They will wither away.

Thank you so much, Dr Phil. This video opened up my eyes by giving me info that I needed & didn’t know. I found this video to be extremely informative & I needed that very much bc I have a narcissistic adult daughter & a narcissistic grandchild who are so abusive & have no compassion & I just couldn’t understand why… & I didn’t know how to deal with them. But you have described them perfectly. They both fit what you described! And I can’t afford to go to a therapist & I’m not able to physically bc their abuse has made me ill & I cried for years bc I love them very much but they don’t care at all about me nor do they ever call to check on me ! See how I’m doing. They only talk to me when they need money. Everything is alwYs all about them! And I didn’t know how to protect myself. But now, after watching this video, I feel a huge sense of relief because now I understand much more & I’m going to put into practice what I learned from you. Thank you sincerely from my heart. ❤️ God bless you.

Yesss my ex husband is so much into grandiosity, showing off he’s the best, the need for admiration, he wants people to see he’s the best, rich and big and respected. 11 years of this bubbles I finally able to break free. I am in so much happier state of mind now. When I had the miscarriage, he didn’t even care. I was at the hospital by myself with our two kids. He didn’t care at all. He didn’t show any worries about me being in the hospital with two kids, he didn’t even worry about his kids. That was the draw line for me.

I think it was December 2021 and I had come from working out of town the weekend. After going to bed, I went to you tube and scrolled down. There you were, talking about covert narcissists. That was my lightbulb moment. Thank you so much. I kept wondering what the deal was with my husband acting like he need. That gave me so much peace. Since then I have educated myself even more. Knowledge is power! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for throwing out that lifeline!

You have to be willing to walk away to avoid circular arguments which they use for future fuel. They only understand actions not words. This is what I learned from this video. Thank you. Please tell me more about the walk away and how to deal with the repercussions. I'm walking.❤ Love to everyone everywhere ❤

Dr. Phil thank you so much for these videos. I am in the middle of devorcing a narcissist after five years of hell. For those of you who think your stronger and smarter than this disorder your going to be schooled much the way i was. She left me a little over a week ago, being a day after a lung cancer byopsy. This was payback for filing a restraining order on her back on Thanksgiving after her berating me in front of my daughter her boyfriend and his grandmother. She then attacked my daughter physically after my daughter confronted her behavior. I was manipulated into letting her back a month after that. I was played for my tax receipt. She is one to weaponize anything anyone, anything I say or anything i do. Even after five years i can't rap my mind around her behavior, save for the videos such as this. These videos have healing power and has alowed me to reconnect with myself. The biopsy was positive for non small cell lung cancer stage one. It is only in one area. She cant be bothered with the cancer information because there is no benefit in it for her. Silence is saying no more. I wouldn't have had that protection without information like this. Very humbly yours Alan

The reason they can sneak up on you is "Your Just To Healthy". Love that Dr. Phil

I was married to a narcissist woh was also a sociopath (possibly a psychopath ) for 18 years. It’s a miracle he didn’t end up getting us both put into prison. He would intentionally force me to take on the more risky parts of his “cons” which was terrifying and still eats at my soul. He stole and conned people/businesses out of so much. Be very careful leaving these people,have an airtight plan to escape and hide. They are often dangerous.

I have Asperger's Syndrome and had a difficult childhood. People think that Aspie's are narcissistic. However, I have empathy and have learned to curb the behaviors that seem to be narcissistic. The three major differences are 1. the ability and desire to change including seeking counseling vs refusing to acknowledge a problem. 2. Intention ... power and control vs understanding and cooperation. 3. Empathy. Total lack of vs. genetic limitation resulting in a non-neurotypical "Let me help you fix the problem" response to other's pain. Many Doctors have Asperger's which is generally accompanied by extremely high IQ's and were so focused on feeding the intellect, that the social aspects of life were neglected. I was married to a narcissist that was mentally, emotionally, sexually, financially and only twice physically abusive because I called 911. I am still in recovery... 15 years after I left. The church is full of Narcs.

Thank you Dr. Phil. I can listen to you 24/7. Too bad what you're teaching here isn't taught to young children in a manner they can understand. And always continue to be part of their curriculum throughout school so they never can forget to be aware of toxic people, and to help protect their emotional and mental well being. If you haven't already done one, I'd like to hear your take on people who abuse/torture animals beginning at a young age or even later in life. Thanks again.

That last bit was so true…. you will NEVER get a narcissist to see it your way, unless it serves them. Save your energy. Create a buffer of 20 feet (vibrationally speaking) when in their company. Send them love… because love is a super power and will serve them, you, and everyone else around you. God bless Dr. Phill. Wishing you all so much peace that your whole body smiles. God speed. ❤

Dr. Phil you described my father. He passed away 3 years ago. Towards the end he developed paranoia and depression. He had thymine deficiency and COPD. He died a pretty horrific death. I’m going to be 51 this year and I’m still trying to heal from the abuse. My mother died long before he did, and my twin sister went down the rabbit hole last year and died because of the abuse she endured from him. This video describes so much what I experienced. I i would like someday to help others. Thank you.

Yes, Dr Phil! Please talk more about Narcissists so I can learn about them & how they think & so I can learn how to deal with them. And I say this bc I hv narcissists in my immediate family, & I have suffered greatly & since I didn’t know how to deal with this, they destroyed my life. I hv suffered so greatly at their hands with all their cruelty, & it caused me so much pain & even made me very ill, emotionally & physically and they moved out about 6-7 years ago... And I hv been working on healing & the only way is by learning from wonderful people like you, who share their knowledge to help people like myself. It’s been so, incredibly therapeutic & it’s the only therapy I hv been able to afford because of your kindness. I Thank you sincerely from my heart & May God bless you abundantly, above & beyond anything you can imagine, hope or think! You are a true blessing to so many who need your advice like myself!! ❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️

The other issue is you have to compare their words with their actions. Because most have learned to emulate emotion and speak what they have learned is the appropriate response to a situation. But you'll soon figure out there's no genuine concern, compassion, or ability to relate. Also they can also temporarily switch between types and depth of narcissism they engage in. Confronting them might also make them become dangerous .

Thank you, Dr. PHIL for teaching on the covert narcissist,I knew the malignant would do the poor me act,but now I see the behavior of the covert is constantly fighting the fiction of their trouble with others. It is a learned behavior, and it can breed borderline behavior in the children as well.

Wow I’m only 7 minutes in and this just described a person in my life whom Iv been trying to define and am always on my guard when around, have had to learn to communicate with ongoing THANK YOU SO MICH FOR THIS POST❤

My narc inlaws blew up my marriage bc as their son, my husband allowed it. He was too afraid of his disgusting mother- a 40 year old man afraid of his mother. Therapy helped but I left a year ago. He and I are doing the co-parenting effectively thus far so at least we have that.

My sister, with the best of intent, devoted herself to protecting her daughter and to give her daughter what was lacking in her own childhood. She created a narcissist, no doubt. But she wasn’t intending this outcome. Now the daughter almost 50, and likely a dual diagnosis with BPD/NPD. She is the meanest human I have ever known. But wait it doesn’t stop there, she has a child who is being sucked into the rabbit hole. It is a tragic situation. This is the worse part of this.

I shared these videos with my sister who for 18 years was married to a narcissist.After 18 years she started telling us the truth he tried manipulating our whole family. One of my brothers actually believes him and feels for him because he’s a victim player

I need to listen to this, pretty much on a daily basis! I have so much self-doubt, and just have such a hard time believing that those so close to me sabotage my wellbeing.

I've set boundaries with my Ex, who is a classic covert narcissist. I told him he had to stop gaslighting, and he didn't even know what that meant. I gave him an article about gaslighting, and wouldn't you know, now I'M the gaslighter. I'M the abuser. I'M the manipulative one. 🤣 I tolerated him long enough to get the Quitclaim Deed he promised me, and now I am free of his abuse.

Thank you. You can’t image how helpful this is. It’s also weirdly scary that this description is almost exactly what I’ve experienced. Now as I struggle to move on, I feel guilty, and bad in some way as the narcissist’s words play over and over in my mind. It’s like poison that I can never get rid of. This has helped me understand much better. Thanks again.

Hi Dr Phil, I appreciate your episode on narcissistic behavior. My ex-husband was a guest on your show Rob Nickel I divorced him in 2015 because his narcissistic behaviour was too much. I made a choice to walk away from our marriage. It was the worst time of my life I was going through cancer and he was taking me to trial two times smear campaign about me around town he was so angry that I had left, I am now in therapy finally after eight years, and when I read see episodes on narcissism, it gives me great relief that I am not alone, that I have not done anything wrong. I wish I had the tools to understand narcissism a long time ago. Thank you for your wisdom:)

Malignant narcissist "weaponizes " Now we get it. Great and concise definition, Phil. Thx

Thank you so much Dr. Phil for educating us about this! It feels devastating living with someone like this. They also change history make up different narrative to fit their needs, they keep a small circle of “friends” giving false info to continuously feeds their ego! If they don’t get enough attention, They also cheats! Repeatedly.

Once you've encountered people with one of these personality disorders and you have gathered some knowledge about it, there more easily identified over some time.

Oh thank you! To have the 4 categories is so helpful.My MIL was one and it was so hard for 45 yrs.Our son is a malignant narcissist and 5 yrs ago came home @38yrs old, told us we never did anything for him,(he is a nuclear engineer) and a laundry list of reasons he felt we didn't do enough for him.Told us he was ashamed of my husband for the way he made his living ( A Master Mechanic for Chevrolet for 45 yrs) had the man in tears,told him he just didn't like him. I wasn't going to stand there and listen to that tripe, and stood up and said stop! You do not get to stand in our home and talk to us in this way.Them he went after me.We were never a family, when he knew that is the thing we value most.5 yrs and we have adjusted by God's grace.We only go forward.He has his own life without us.

Therapy with a narcissist just gives them buzz words and ammo to use against their targets. Get it for yourself to be able to cope, and hopefully eventually escape, this kind of toxic relationship. It has an expiration date that you may not ultimately have any say in, and it's only going to get more rotten as time goes on. 😮

It's so hard when you grew up with a nacissistic parent & grandmother, I understand it's complex to wrap your head around it. These people NEVER change loving them more wont change their abusive reckless behavior, leave in a heartbeat if you wish, because you'll never change them in this lifetime!

Too uncomfortable to say more than this gave me chills. You nailed it and him.

I have a gay male partner in business from day one he started taking me down . He never misses an opportunity to crush me. I’ve listen to programs about narcissism, and quite frankly it doesn’t look promising, ending our relationship he will take 10 years off my life. Thankful for the growing awareness of narcissism in our culture society and world

I was married to a narcissist… diagnosed by our therapist after a year. We continued for 4 more years. I tried everything but after 23 years I asked for a divorce. We have 2 sons and 2 daughters. He is classic! Wore me to the bitter end. I had depression, anxiety and insomnia. He is now 68 and we can be friends… usually. Thank you Dr. Phil. for validation. 😮

Dr. Phil you must have met many covert narcissists. And narcissists in general, because you nailed the examples perfectly! The things you listed that they will say... are 100% on point.

I wish I had you to teach me all of this fifty years ago. However, I have you now at 68 years of age. I AM healing. I AM recovering NOW and my gratitude goes beyond words. God bless you Dr. Phil.

Thank you doctor Phil you make things so clear and exactly whats going on with the Narc my life you help me deal much better he's challenges me and I know how to deal with him I let him I know what he's trying to do but I'm a Christian women and no weapon formed against me shall prosper and Amen😊

Please do more work on narcissism. The world needs to know. There’s also a huge lack of knowledge about narcissism and narcissist abuse in the therapist realm. Going to couples’ therapies with my husband were debilitating - he controlled the therapists and the room and pitted the them against me. So exhausting!

Wow, so accurate, my experience with narcissists. I have a friend who recently upped the narcissism, I had been keeping her at distance but she started communicating more and more recently probably because other friends of hers left. One time she was telling me about her family, her brother and mom and how they dislike her, knowing her history I knew that she is self centered and if she wants something she is just thinking about herself, so whatever she suggests them to do are self serving which they don't accept, so she just has bad relationship with them, because I deduced that they see her as selfish, so I told her to find good things in them and tell them that you are grateful for all the good things they have done and sometimes make tea or coffee for all of them and sit and talk and ask them about their life (which she has never done) and after that the way she responded disgusted me, she responded as if I have given her an idea as to how to 'control/manipulate ' them while I just wanted her to see the good things In them and mend her relationship with them. She had no interest in mending her relationship, all she wanted was to manipulate them into doing things that she wanted for herself. After that, helping her felt like I was training her into fooling people, which agitated me more. She later tells me that it worked! And she became less stressed, now she is able to manipulate her mom and then she goes on to try and manipulate me on several occasions! Gosh I can't express the disgust I feel for that kind of behavior that is completely devoid of empathy and is down right cruel. She started to diminish me, and exaggerate herself, I realized that since she is able to manipulate her mom and brother she thinks she can conquered the world which is literally her ambition because she is narcissistic, she could not do it till now because she is just not intelligent enough and lacks empathy to be able to relate to people, she is always in some conflict with people, snaps and is annoyed by them, coz she thinks e knows better than them. What disgusts me the most is how these people are able to do put down people who are helping them! Their insecurities are triggered and they will step on you, while you have made yourself a little lower so they don't feel too bad about themselves. But to feel better about themselves they will try to step on you while you are bent to give them a hand. I had to tell her to leave me alone after dealing with the shit show for a while. I work on myself, I keep my ego in check and if I wanted to subject myself to toxicity I would have been that but I don't so why would I subject myself to toxicity from someone els?! And when I confronted her with all the bad behavior she was doing, she says 'you were never like tgis' ' I don't even remember' ' I never heard you say anything like that before' 'I didn't mean it that way' 'why now?' Absolutely no accountability for her actions and I said I am responding to you! she is handing me a script that I should abide by! And not call out her behavior and just accept it! Just disgusting. When I tell her you are disrespecting me she says you are disrespecting me! For pointing her bad behavior! Sha says exactly the same stuff said in the video - you are judging me, when I said you are being narcissistic she says you are being narcissistic. She just repeats back whatever I say. And then tries to guilt me, as if I am the one doing something wrong, she could not possibly do any, while out entire friendship she is telling me stuff about what she did and what others did and every time it is her fault, She tells me those things so I put thing in ways so it doesn't bother her mentally, coz I point out her wrong by not making her feel guilty. she went to a therapist and comes back and says I like to talk to you, you help me better the them, I didn't like it (she also lied about her age on the form, for therapy, 4 years difference). I feel so disgusted how these people just use other's empathy and have no positive feelings for them. When I said don't talk to me or message me and all the other stuff, after gaslighting me she says '15 years of friendship, gone just like that' dude it's your fault! Still making me feel like it is my fault that the '15 year friendship' is gone and the loss is not for me loss is that she can't tell anyone else that she has a friendship going for 15 years because that would have made her look good in people's eyes, coz she has no long term friendships.

"I'm not the only one that thinks this/that about you"..."You bring these things on yourself"... "You like to feel sorry for yourself"... "You like to argue"... "I/he/she treats everyone that way. Why do you take it personally?"...

Thank you Dr Phil....this gave me more comfort than you'll ever know! I'm grateful for your time and insight on this confusing and hurtful issue.

When I cried when I was talking to my narcissistic sister, I had just lost my husband, she said well that will pass, she said what I would feel bad about is that you have nothing to leave your children. She stole my inheritance years before that. I've been no contact for almost 7 years and I have peace.

I have made the decision to say goodbye to my narcissistic mother. I still keep her in my life but it’s very surface stuff. I cannot confide in her and I don’t trust her. She has put me through the rigger. It’s not easy to cut a parent off it doesn’t happen overnight. It has taken many attempts to heal and talk things through. Yet one day you wake up and say I’m done. I love my mother but I don’t want her in my life. Very very hard decision. I am sad and have dealt with tremendous guilt but I have to protect myself and my children. I have placed my boundaries with her. She uses me and hides behind her do gooder persona. She is a giver so therefore it gives her a pass. Anyway I can go on and on. I have forgiven her for me to move on and be free. Thank you.

Thank you Dr. Phil! We are saving lives speaking up about this! ❤

This was one of your best podcasts! Thank you. ❤

In renting room and sharing a house with a single mom narcissist with her 14 year old son was hard in the beginning and dealing with the lying, the lack of empathy, the gaslighting, etc. was so crazy that twice already, her own son of his own accord took my side with her mother yelling at him and called him “betrayer”. She forbid him to talk to me since I drew my boundaries on her but he finds a way to communicate with me with sign language when his mother was at home. Boundaries work since she was quieter for the past few months. The entire household knows that about her and accusing others of what she is really guilty of. I have a friend that is a retired PH D clinical psychologist and she tells me that it is very hard to change them.

In the hopes that it might help someone else, I want to point out that after surviving a covert narcissist as a parent, i didn't realize that i walked right back into the grips of a covert narcissist boyfriend just a few years later. It felt disarmingly familiar, which i misunderstood to be a good thing. I was the people pleaser, trying to save them both. It was a pattern, and it took me 10 years to realize they were one in the same.

I am listening to this video for the second time. A situation has transpired that makes me feel much more cautious about this individual. My boundaries are up and I will not be used or abused by anyone. Thank you again for this informative, priceless video. You are saving lives. God bless you.

I wrote your show once and then went through Pathways.... best decision I ever made but I'm sure your teaching on boundaries would have made a huge difference

It is so sad, to see your loved ones in that Situation, because you know and see their pain they are suffering. My granddaughter is like that and it breaks my heart because she is not truly happy.

Thank you and yes would love to know more tips. In a 21 year marriage with this and trying to figure a safe way out.

Thank you, Dr. Phil, for explaining. Sometimes it depends on who is explaining what something is. You are explaining it in a way that I get it. Great job!

This is wild. All the examples you give its like check, check, check. And its like reliving my childhood lol all over again.

Old narco.paths in senior housing is becoming increasingly a problem. Needs to be more laws against abusers who bully and harass decent people just trying to live.

"If you want to get the things that you need give away the things that you need." That's not true if you're dealing with a taker. They will just take and take and take and never give you anything in return. A lot of the time they won't even say thank you.

Thank you, Dr. Phil, for your helpful suggestions and encouragement in - exactly how to walk away from years of the narcissist's grip and hold on you,...when you know that without a doubt, that enough is enough and as a path to get out of a their evidentally alternate black hole reality.

Us victims of NPD INDIVIDUALS need a " mee too " movement to inform and help other victims , thank you

It's so bad that nobody except my kids and closest friends actually believe me. Her own circles would never ever suspect her to be a narcissist. My own parents don't believe me.

Thanks for sharing this, those of us that have been impacted know the power of your insight

My ex narc/addict started using steroids, going to gold gym, social media ,gay porn questionable behavior. I witnessed his grandiosity become so pronounced it was scary. It also set the stage for my discard. I gave 24 yrs In recovery, therapy etc This last relapse took me out of the loop. Steroids really did change or bring out his narc behavior. He was not aware of the evidence I was gathering. My work restored my self respect & pride in who I am. TY Dr Phil my ongoing education had helped me greatly.

Thank you so much for your deep dive into the different types of NPD. It is so validating to me. I appreciate it greatly

Taking notes ✍️ .... Thank you ! Dr. Phil , for your knowledge on the subject : narcissist disorder toxic person....God bless you ! 🍃🙏🌿 I like your show very much 👌💯👌..... PEACE ✌️