"I love you. I love you. I love you. See: nothing" I'm crying at how much this hurts but I cannot help but be thankful for art that can make its way right through and into me.
I've heard several different recordings of Phil preforming this poem, and this has always been my favorite. It was the first version I heard, and I ended up memorizing the sound of his voice, the motions of his hands. It's so special to me and my favorite version.
Same! I think I've come across some versions of him performing this poem and this one has to be my favourite. There's just something about the way he delivered it.
Ironically about a year ago I listened to this poem almost everyday and I fear that the slam I thought was so powerful it began loose its meaning now it has an entirely new meaning to me
I actually performed this on our Literature class as part of our final exam.. My teacher gave me perfect score.. thank you so much for this work of art.. It was like I was a different person performing on stage.. This piece is amazing I felt the emotion when I was on stage.
I too have a stutter and sometimes I try to say a word ten times, stop and give up then say you know what I mean. But I found that if I alter my voice to the point it is no longer my own, I no longer have a stutter. I tell my friends this, and they ask me to speak in my real voice and I say "I no longer know how"
yaimiana I wish I could send you some love, strength, or at least a hug. I can only give you this: Take a deep breath, smile, be strong, because you can… and if you don’t: write a poem, do some music, paint a picture, run down the streets, scream into a forest, let it all out…and then be strong again. Try to find yourself again and if you can’t; reinvent yourself and find another self, but be that with all your heart, don’t just fake it till you make it. Your friends will understand one day and if they don’t, you can always find new ones. I did that too to get rid of my anxiety, it worked for me. I’m still a little awkward sometimes, but it’s ok. I wish you the best. With Love, a girl from switzerland
It's been 8 years since I first saw this, and in those 8 years I have reached the point where I just wake up just because I woke up. I hope I can find meaning in life again.
I remember the bed, floating there apart, apart, apart, apart my mother taught me this trick if you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning for example homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework see, nothing "our existence" she says is the same way. you watch the sunset too often it just becomes 6pm you make the same mistake over and over you'll stop calling it a mistake if you just wake up, wake up,wake up,wake up,wake up,wake up,wake up, you'll forget why "nothing is forever" she said my parents left each other when i was 7 years old. before their last argument they sent me off to the neighbors house like some astronaut jettison from the shuttle when i came back there was no gravity in my home beds floating i imagined it as an accident then when i left they whispered i love you so many times over they forgot what it meant family, family, family, family, family, family my mother taught me this trick that if you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning this became my favorite game it made the sting of words evaporate seperation, seperation, seperation see, nothing apart, apart, apart see, nothing im an injured handyman now i work with words all day shut up i know the irony when i was young i was taught the trick to dominating language was breaking it down, convincing it that it was worthless i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you see, nothing soon after my parents divorce i developed a stutter fate is a cruel and efficient tutor there is no escape in stutter you feel the meaning of every word drag itself up your throats,s,s,s,seperation stutter is a cage made of mirrors every "are you ok" every "what'd you say" every "cmon kid spit it out" is a glaring reflection you cannot escape, every terrible moment skips upon its own announcement over and over until it just hangs there, floating in the middle of the room mom, dad, I'm not wasteful with my words anymore even after hundreds of hours practicing away my stutter i still feel the claw of meaning in the bottom of my throat i heard that even in space, you can hear the scratching of an i, i, i, i, i, i , i , i love you (source for bibliography)
This poem hit me so hard the first time i heard it because of how close his story is to my own. My parents split when i was eight, and the repetition trick is one i've known well for years. Also, i have a slight stutter whenever I get excited or don't pay close attention to, or concentrate on, what i'm saying. He describes everything so perfectly that this poem is painful to listen to. But i love it.
I cried the first time I watched this video. I am crying now. This poem fit me perfectly. I loved everything about it. There are no words enough to describe how this made me feel. There are no words enough to give this poem the justice it deserves.
Around this time last year I memorised this because it meant so much to me. But now, I come back and it has a completely different meaning to me. I love this so much 😭
Even though I do not know much about poems and analysis of poems, I felt touched by the poem. Even without analyzing every word, I could feel the emotions vividly and the frustration of knowing what one means but having the physical repetition / stuttering of it take away its meaning. Hearing your story makes me reflect on my own life and makes me appreciate everything I’ve had.
I think he meant that to dominate language he "needed to break it down, convincing it was worthless" which sounds contradictory, since he works with words. Or maybe it's because of his stutter: he performs words but can't properly pronounce them
I remember the bed just floating there. Apart, apart, apart, apart. My mother taught me this trick If you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning For example: Homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework See, nothing Our existence, she said, is the same way. You watch the sun set too often, it just becomes 6 PM You make the same mistake over and over; you’ll stop calling it a mistake If you just wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, one day you’ll forget why Nothing is forever, she said My parents left each other when I was 7 years old Before their last argument they sent me off to the neighbor’s house, like some astronaut jettisoned from the shuttle. When I came back there was no gravity in our home, beds floating I imagined it as an accident, that when I left They whispered to each other “I love you” so many times over that they forgot what it meant Family, family, family, family, family, family My mother taught me this trick If you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning This became my favorite game It made the sting of words evaporate. Separation, separation, separation; see, nothing Apart, apart, apart; see, nothing I am an injured handyman now I work with words all day Shut up, I know the irony! When I was young, I was taught that the trick to dominating language was breaking it down Convincing it that it was worthless I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you; See, nothing Soon after my parents’ divorce, I developed a stutter Fate is a cruel and efficient tutor There is no escape in stutter You feel the meaning of every word drag itself up your throat S-s-s-separation Stutter is a cage made of mirrors Every “Are you ok?” Every “What’d you say?” Every “Come on kid, spit it out” Is a glaring reflection you cannot escape Every terrible moment skips upon its own announcement Over and over until it just hangs there, floating in the middle of the room Mom, Dad, I am not wasteful with my words anymore. Even now after hundreds of hours of practicing away my stutter, I still feel the claw of meaning in the bottom of my throat. I have heard that even in space; You can hear the scratching of a I-I-I-I love you.
This has been imbedded so strongly in my life, I've watched it so many times over the years.. I can't get away from it haha. I'm not good with words but things like this speak volumes for me, if that makes any sense at all.
All the ones who ever went through a stutter stage can fully grasp this. Thanks so much for sharing it has made me look at presentation of how i present my poetry when the stuttering begins
He & Sarah performed at my high school today & I loved every minute of it. I watched them perform during my 1st & 3rd blocks & I wouldnt have minded watching there performance 1 more time. They're great :)
Id like to hug him but if i keep on hugging and hugging and hugging... I may forget why im doing it and lost its meaning. So deep, si sad and so true...
I think this has to be one of the best spoken word poems I've ever heard, definitely my favorite Phil Kaye poem. I wish I could see him perform this in person :o
I've spent entire days watching spoken word poetry since I was first introduced to it. This was the first to literally set all my skin to goosebumps and send shivers down my spine.
I am in tears. this is so amazing. no one has ever understood as well as you do why for a while I had ocd... not even I understood it because my parents separated when I was too young to understand and the realization of it was so gradual that it caused me to want everything to stay the same. and if it wasn't right I would repeat it until it was.. I feel you there. doing those things over and over even if they were wrong gave me reason to let it go eventually. thank you
i performed this piece on my class today for our spoken word poetry activity. They loved it. I didn't think spoken word poetry would be my kind of thing but thank you phil kaye for making me realize this :)
I love this so much. My stutter is paralyzing and I love the face he used to have one. It makes me think I could do something like this and learn to fix it.
