Planning My Jewish Wedding as a Convert | Becoming a kallah | Orthodox Jewish Wedding 

Mazel tov!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is amazing. The Jewish community is lacking racial diversity. Hope in the future we have so many more inter racial jewish couples and black jewish children

This is amazing! Mazal Tov! We’re so happy and EXCITED for you guys!!

Be sure to enjoy the Yichud (secluded time after the marriage ceremony)! It will be the only time for you BOTH to enjoy and embrace the covenant you made with each other and Hashem. Your wedding day will be like being on a merry-go-round. Fast, wonderful, blurry. The Yichud is the time for you and your husband to be present (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) with each other.

Mazal Tov. Orthodox Jews come in many shapes and sizes as do their weddings. I can't see anything not Jewish in save the dates or bridal showers. Come to think of it Sephardi Jews have a henna party which may be similar to a bridal shower. I think it is lovely that both your families are sharing this with you.

Mazel Tov!!!!! My conversion bet din and Mikvah were today! And I’m also recently engaged 💍. So happy for you. (Ps your wedding website didn’t work)

מזל טוב My wife and I have been married for almost 27 years. We are both modern orthodox Jews, but she grew up secular. My father was a rabbi, and the woman of his shul through a shower for my wife, ad did our friends. Also our engagement lasted eleven months, but to be honest My twin brother had also just gotten married and I had family living in Israel. We also only had family walk down the isle, as did all my siblings, I am the youngest of six and my wife is the third of four. I am sure your wedding will be beautiful, but remember you do you and have fun.

You can make a lil wedding site where you show an example of modest attire and explain the customs and modesty for wedding guests so that they feel comfortable and prepared for cultural differences .. don’t worry about what people do for “ Jewish weddings “. No one group of Jewish people’s customs or traditions are binding upon anyone else. Have the wedding experience YOU WANT TO HAVE and don’t let other people keep you from doing anything that would make you HAPPY and enjoy your whole marriage / wedding prep experience .

First off - Mazel Tov. May you build a bayit Ne'eman b'yisrael Secondly - onto listening about combining stuff from different cultures (some background, I grew up in a large orthodox community on the east coast (the five towns). I'm now semi-trtaditional and living in London 1) Things like bachelorretes, bridal showers, are more common in Modern orthodox communities (especially bridal showers) - though they are often much lower key because orthodox Jewish weddings tend to be a 2 week thing and the fact that the shabbos kallah gets formal and covers a lot of the same activities. Though that timeline from your MIL reminds me of my mom kvetching to me about my boyfriend and when will he propose 😂 2) STD are not common only because most orthodox Jewish people in the US live near each other and will gossip about this stuff at the supermarket or on shabbos. Everyone locally will know pretty quickly without the save the dates However, It's pretty common to tell people who live abroad or in cities far away to tell them there will be a wedding on some date informally (like whatsapp) if you plan on inviting them - sometimes even before the engagement is finalized (because sometimes the hall is booked before people get engaged in parts of orthodox land 🤷‍♀)This is basically for the same reason save the dates are sent out - so you know, people can plan. 3) Uncommon but of the people I know who are orthodox and did this tend to have happier marriages: Talk to a financial counselor/planner. Day school education ain't cheap and it is a common reason there are fights in orthodox jewish marriages. Planning helps! 4) Speaking of wedding plans - halachic prenup! Do it, talk to your chatan and mesader kiddushin about it! (I have people I am friendly with who were agunot and denied gets for over 5 years. Their lives have mostly worked out in the end, but they should have never been in the situation they were in in the first place) 5) I know you probably went through some of these questions before the tevilah for the geirut - but you might want to network with other African American Jewish women as well as talk with your kallah teavher about the specifics of handling your hair before mikvah because of the rules involving cleaning oneself as part of chafifah before the teveilah. They may have tips on wearing your hair natural or protective styles and combing/brushing before the tevilah, as well as floating hair. (I'm a Ashkenazi chick with curly hair who is unmarried currently, but I've heard enough horror stories from other Ashekanzi chicks with curly hair that is not nearly as curly as African American women and mikvah ladies about hair criticism around combing and if the teveilah was done correctly since curly hair sometimes floats more. 6) (of interest to you might be this www.yoatzot.org/questions-and-answers/1661/ about covering ones hair if one is a jewish African American) (also this site will be humongously useful to you as you go through marriage, with an extensive book list) 7) One last thought on the wedding itself: There's a bunch of stuff that's halachic. Theres a small amount of stuff that's long standing custom (like bedekens. Sefardim don't do that. They do hennas!). And there's plenty of stuff that's only become common in say the last 30-50 years in American orthodoxy. (like big, very formal weddings) My parents did not have a discussion about separate seating, for example, but it was a point of discussion at high school and seminary/yeshvia day friends' weddings. You're required to do the halachic stuff - but you can and should embrace the rest of everyone and where you are from. 8) While both of you may want a shul as a wedding location, it might be worth looking at kosher wedding halls if you are in an area with kosher wedding halls because the cost may be cheaper per head. Kosher food at weddings gets expensive. Just to give you a sense, I've heard Crest Hollow country Club undercuts a lot of the big shuls that do weddings in Long Island. You mgith want to talk to people in your community, your chatan's family, about what they liked and for spreadsheets that have actual vs projected budget for different wedding items and events. I also recommend talking to gemachs for things like "modest dresses for family members walking down the aisle" or "the chuppah" because of costs. List here 5townscentral.com/gemachs/ 9) On Niddah - the cheapest source for bedikah clothes are cotton cleaning cloths from the hardware store (they get the same cloth as cotton undershirts, which is from what I hear is is what most kallah teachers will recommend. Most will not tell you that though! 10) on the mesader kiddushin - choose someone who you and your chattan are close with. It's pretty easy to have the person registered to do a marriage in NY state, so choose someone who matters to both of you. 11) Probably more important for you is who your kallah teacher is going to be. My personal approach would be to find someone who is a yoetzet halacha. Nishmat's official list is here www.yoatzot.org/contact-a-yoetzet/yoatzot-halacha-directory/ mazel tov again. I don't know how to reach you, but if you need more info I can try digging some up.

Your journey has really inspired me. Congratulations 👏🏾🙏🏿 and blessing to your union

Should all go smoothly, blessed 😇, and in a good time… embrace the family where ever they coming from, most important you both are the priority… mazel tov 🎉 enjoy the special unification process #unitedsouls... 😮😊

Mazel Tov -- i am so happy for you. Thank-you for sharing your incredibly good news with us.

Mazel dude! I’m a convert (not Jewish - Muslim) and seeing converts across the board find happiness is awesome to witness and I love it ❤❤❤

There is nothing wrong with a bridal shower. We call it a shabbos Kallah. It is usually done the Shabbat before the wedding. I guess you could have it another day as well. I don’t think that is an issue. I also did a save the date for my son’s wedding.

Hi Es! Mazel tov on your engagement!! I am also actually engaged right now, and am IyH getting married in June. If you want any suggestions for anything to help plan your wedding, I would love to help you! I have a bunch of really great people lined up and would love to share! Mazel tov again! Tani

Mazal tov! Hashem should bless you with a beautiful healthy family! Im from a similar background as you, we got married within 2 months of engagement, 7 years and 4 kids and counting!

Congratulations 🎉 such an exciting time for you! 🤗

I’m Jewish. But not religious,although we do follow many religions rules. I have two sons. One is orthodox,another reformist. Before my oldest son had wedding ,he showed me couple tapes from other’s religious weddings. Ne explained every step and why is that done. Because all our friends were not religious,I also had a lot of questions: what to wear,can they seat with their husbands,what kind of food will be there,etc. There’s last Shabbat before wedding , that is a time when bridal shower is usually done. Sorry ,I don’t remember the exact name of that. I want to mention, our friends and my parents ,and also the friends of bride’ s parents,were seated at the male side husbands and wives together. We wanted everyone to be happy at that day. The wedding was amazing. It has been 24 years since that. I have 3 granddaughters.we are getting more and religious to be closer to them. Mazes Tov ! Have a lot of happiness,health and children

Felicitations tu seras une mere juive exceptionnelle

Can you please list the books on the comments section es especially the books on Mitzvoh. I’m considering converting to Judaism too. Thank you

Well I'm commenting again cause now I actually watched the video. Hehe It's very kind of you to include us in everything closing your Patreon and planning a live stream during the wedding. As you say, it's important not to make anyone uncomfortable in the Synagogue (that makes feel a little nervious too) 😅 At the same time, I'm happy to hear that your Rabbi supports you. I wish you the best talking to your family about this. All my family is Christian, and I blow their minds when I explain what Kosher means and what are all the Jewish festivities on the calendar. Looool Once again congrats 🎉

Have a fantastic wedding!

Mazel Tov! 🎉

I think many people have the custom particularly NOT to make wedding in a synagogue for various reasons. The default is NOT in a shul, not other way around though some DO have in synagogue.

I’m so happy for you Es, embarking on your new stage of life as a wife and when it’s time, a mother as well!!! How beautiful to be proposed to during ‏פסח!!!! ‎‏השם timing is everything!! Congratulations to you, your husband and your families!!! !!!‏ ‏מזל טוב

Perhaps you can make a guide book for your families and friends explaining the different parts of the ceremony and Jewish customs. From covering their heads, to separation of women and men, dressing modestly, no pants, etc. Chabad has a Guide to a Jewish Wedding. Perhaps you could use this as a guide. Sometimes the Mother and Mother-in-law walk the girl down the aisle. Other times the Father and Mother walk the girl down the aisle.

May you be blessed and that's wonderful!!! Congradulations!!!!!!!

Your family seems to understand there are cultural differences that they want to respect. That's a good start, if you patiently explain everything, everything will be fine!

How long will you continue to refer to yourself as a “ convert “? Knowing that the current climate among many European Jews and many ethnic entered groups of Jews, there is a tendency to mistreat and OTHER Jews outside of their ethnic groups and those of us who are not White, constantly referring to yourself as a “ convert “ especially long term, may not be constructive. As well there is the Miswoth not to mistreat the person who converts and not to remind them that they converted in the first place. There is now the cultural trend among some groups to remind the convert- which is vile in my opinion . Aren’t you a Jew now sis? Your skin looks great btw.

Congratulations, I hope all your dreams come true.

I love to see you so happy and that your journey was such a blessing! Baruch Hashem

First of all - Mazal Tov! To your question: yes of course Jewish people do "Save the date" and bridel shower's I think that the most important thing is that you and your husband to be injoy this time of your lives! Don't worry to much about things, I'm sure that everybody wants you to be happy that's day! You are the kala!!😊 בשנה הבאה בירושלים הבנויה!

Mazel Tov to the both of you. I am so happy for you. May Hashem bless you both.

Congratulations!

מזל טוב

So sweet for you both lol 🌹

Congratulations I pray you continued success this chapter of your life. Mazel Tov!

🥳🥳🥳🎉Mazel Tov! Why don't you just hire a videographer and post it later. You & your husband could do a voiceover recording. You could review some Jewish weddings on-line and then recommend them to your family and friends. And you could show one at your bridal shower and your family/friends could ask you questions there about the wedding. Some Jews would send 'Save the Date' cards. I think extending the date would be better then having the wedding too fast. You'll have to explain to your family/friends again about the separation of men and women at the wedding dance. And make sure they know to wear COMFORTABLE shoes for the reception. Maybe you could have 2 folk dance practice sessions beforehand. You' ll have to explain to the men why on the ne 's side they sometimes do acrobatics,etc. (to nake the groom happy) I hope you have a wonderful day.😊🎉🎉🎉🎉💐💐 💐💐💐💐✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mazal tov, this is so exciting! So happy for you!

Mazel tov to you both!!

Welcome to the family! Honored to have you as a first cousin now. ❤❤❤

Girl you are the real jew, you better study about the lemba tribe and the igbo who lived in west africa who migrated down to south africa.

Mazel tov🎉

All of the things you mentioned as "American" do exist in some Jewish weddings. Not necessarily all together. Just they are done with modesty and avoid wildness or inappropriate behaviors some people may want to bring into a very holy event. Much like conversion, the day of your wedding is the day you are newborn and sets your future in a very real way. B'sha'ah Tova Umutzlachat! May you build a Bayit Ne'eman B'yisrael!

Oh my goodness!! I literally just found your channel and was halfway through watching your conversion video from April 2021 and you were just talking about concerns about finding love after converting and I clicked to look at the rest of your page and see this video at the top!!! Congratulations!! 🤗

This is great new. Many blessings.

🎉מזל טוב

Hello! I’m brand new to your channel and looking forward to getting to know you through your videos. I’ve been researching the orthodox lifestyle and it is fascinating! Not saying I’m going to convert but you never know! You can tell you have a beautiful soul and I wish you all the best on your journey and congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Can’t wait to hear all about it and all the traditions that go with it.

i'm sure your rabbi told you guys about jewish genetic testing, but if not def look it up 🙃 (as a convert you are at a much lower risk for most things, but if for example your husband is also black i think they screen for sickle cell) mazel! ❤️

Mazal Tov Esther I recommend to you a book. My wife is a geress, and I got it for her over Shavuout. It is an anthology, ranging from one liners to several pages, and you will delight in it. And it's not only for Gerim! Satisfaction guaranteed. We do afew snips, at random, at our Shabbat table. And your marriage should be blessed with a house full of children, and they should grow up to a life of Torah, Chuppah and Acts of kindness. Mazal Tov again. :) GERIM IN CHASIDIC THOUGHT by BNEI AVRAHAM AHUVECHA PS A young lady in our community married a convert, a Lebanese Christian. We all got along fine at the wedding and he, like all our converts fits in perfectly. His brother was the most accomplished in dancing with a full glass balanced on his forehead lol

Congratulations ❤

I just saw this!! I am so happy and excited for you. Mazal tov!! (Chana Kaszemacher)

CONGRATS @frmmetoJew So I know many Jews, who do each wedding differently, also I know many Jews who had a registry, and I also have friends who were Jewish had their parents walk them down the isle and also their is a Jewish match-making show and on the Orthodox Jewish front, they said it can be as long as 3 to 9 months it's however long you might need to invite family friends and such. Anyway I know many Jewish people who also have done it in a synagogue and or outside too. I also think my best advice as someone that got married in fall is be sure of what you want and know your mother-in-law and mother will support you . What matters is how you and your fiance want the wedding as well. My friend Marion on My Jewish Mommy life on youtube wrote a book for when you do have children called Expecting Jewish.

Shalom! Shalom! Blessings for your years together filled with many nachas!

So happy for you!!!! ❤🎉 mazel tov! 🎉🎉🎉

Mazal tov v’bshaah tova! 🙌🏼 Sephardic Jew here (whether we are observant or not we only go to Orthodox beit knesset) and I have no idea what a “tish” is other than it sounds Yiddish and I had to do a double take to realize that “bedikin” is Yiddish for Bedikah which we do as the kallah is standing halfway down the isle to the chuppah.😂 Also there is no Halakha against doing a bridal shower or doing the chuppah several months after getting engaged. Actually some Chasidim or Charedim that get engaged after 3-8 dates respectively do the chuppah several months later but that’s after they do a “l’Chaim” to announce the engagement. Regarding sending a “save the date” in Israel many do so several months prior to having the details of the chatunah. We also do bridal showers in addition to a smaller party at the mikveh and then the Henna party (coed) a couple of days prior to the chatunah. Whether a couple does the chuppah at a beit knesset or a wedding hall like Oheka Castle in Huntington, Woodbury County Club or Crest Hollow in Long Island is completely a personal decision. Whatever you decide I hope you enjoy your engagement and chatunah planning period. Btw I do know of a good photographer that also does chatunot and an event planner that is based now in Long Island if you’re looking for a planner. B’hatzlacha raba!

So excited for you thank you for sharing.. May Ha Shem continue to bless you. Mazel Tov.

Congratulations - Mazal Tov! I wish you well in your future plans.

Mazel tov!! I might sound stupid but is he also orthodox like you?

Mazal Tov! My only suggestion -- your wedding is going to take place 'on' Long Island, not 'in' Long Island....it is common for those outside LI to use that term because it is normal in almost every other setting 🙂

I love the way you said we it's very important for a joint decision ❤ congratulations 🎉with love❤

That is what I did at our wedding. Had a zine made and it showed all the ins and outs of what was happing on our wedding day. Mazel Tov.

❤❤❤🎉🎉😊

2:30 am Mazel Tov ! This is the first time I have seen you and I am so impressed with your intelligence, enthusiasm and excitement. Everything you want to do seems Kosher to me except for one wish. It is not traditional to have a wedding shower if you’re an Orthodox Jew. But check this out with your rabbi. You don’t want to offend your husband’s family. It is not “law” it is tradition. If there is some woman in his family that you feel close to consult her on details. Wishing you the very best. Mazel Tov means congratulations and also good luck.

Omg MAZAL TOV ESTHER ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

Mazel Tovvvv YAY so happy for you

A vort to celebrate the engagement. Shabbos Kallah is done the Shabbos before the chasunah.

As a BW like you I'm glad that you open up your options in finding a husband, not a man that only want to be a boyfriend, congratulations

Amazing! Mazel tov!

Mazaltov !!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

wow congratulations 🎉🎉❤

Mazaltov !!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Mazaltov !!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Mazaltov !!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Mazal tov!!! Thanks for sharing this amazing news!

Mazel tov!! I became orthodox several years ago and married an amazing girl who had grown up orthodox. It does feel like an interesting position to be in like you said where my family was not aware of so many halachos and customs.

Woooooow 🎉 so happy for you !!! just discovered your YT channel because I’m on my way to Convert Mazal Tov !!!!!!!❤

Woooooow 🎉 so happy for you !!! just discovered your YT channel because I’m on my way to Convert Mazal Tov !!!!!!!❤

Buena suerte en El futuro,en tú matrimonio😊🎉

MAZEL!!!!!

Mazel Tov!! And just some info: I had 3 bridal showers, and I’m Chabad!! So Bridal away!

Mazel Tov! You seem to have it all together. I am Jewish Orthodox. If you have any questions, I would love to help you.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and conversation to Jadaism.

Mazel tov

Mazel Tov! Don’t spend on fancy benchers! I made that mistake, they were not taken as favors as intended. I finally donated them to the shul. Is it Sefardi or Ashkenazi custom you’ll follow? Number one, lock the door so you can have yichud , the separate private time for the wedded couple and make sure they have some nibbles and da drink for you both. You won’t have any other opportunities to just breathe. Remember, your wedding is the beginning of your life together. Make it the best start for you both.

Es!!!! Wow!!!! Mazal tov!!!!!

🎉🎉🎉🎉 MAZEL TOV, FROM ISRAEL 🇮🇱

מזל טוב 🍾

Mazel Tov!! 💞💞

Mazel Tov🎉

Mazel Tov!!! 🙏🙏🎉🎉

CONGRATULATIONS!!!❤❤❤

Mazal Tov 🎉 Hey just curious , how is your Hebrew ? Are you able to daven in Hebrew along with services ? It must be a challenge . ... Shalom ✡️

Mazes tov. I’m Jewish and dw Jews have bridal showers, save the dates , and usually it’s family walking down the aisle. But your engagement is very long 😂

Oh dear... I have subscribed, but my antivirus is telling me that the connection is not secure, so I am not able to view your web site... Anyway, congratulations and mazel tov on your engagement!

Congratulations. Balance and Blessings to you.

Years ago I had two friends who were from very different religious backgrounds. So they picked all the best parts of the wedding traditions from each side. Then they looked into other wedding traditions from all over and added a few of those things too. It turned out to be a wonderful experience for everyone.

Mazal tov! I just discovered your channel. I strongly suggest getting a kallah teacher. We can read all we want but the kallah teacher will prepare you for everything. Maybe speak to a Rebbetzin to suggest someone. Usually a Chabad Rebbetzin will be able to help you nake the spiritual/ emotional preps and what you need to know about counting for Niddah and all the Mikveh preps.

Mazel tov i hope you both have a happy life together. You have gone through so much to become Jewish. Kol hakovod.

מזל טוב🎉

We know that your an American but as a person who converted to Judaism you have also become a part of a Nation.

Do you keep Shabbos and Kosher?