Shyness is not social anxiety. Social anxiety is not fear of confidence. Social anxiety is by-product of bullying, mobbing, abuse. Trauma gets stuck inside the body, like PTSD. Social anxiety is part of Complex Trauma - growing up in narcissistic abuse, invalidation and constant relentless criticism 24/7 in age when errors are natural. This created conditioning to worry and expect abuse to happen again. This cannot be handled by "stop thinking about it". This is the same as saying to depressive person to just smile. Instead of social anxiety I see issue with you - you are inside Karpman Drama Triangle where you heal your own neurosis by playing pontificator and giving "advice" to victims inside Karpman drama triangle since being Rescuer gives you confidence. This is how narcissists operate : they gather confidence from narcissistic supply: other people admiration and validation.