A terrible thing. An under nourished young soul can be detrimental to the individual and society at large! I’ve struggle accepting this reality. Am getting help now...! Himanshu Singh-👑 Never forget you are awesome! 🙏🏾 Thank you
Hi Neil, the whole purpose of being a people pleaser is to distract yourself from yourself, from feeling unsolved pain. After having forgotten about yourself a very exciting journey awaits you: dis-covering your true authentic self again, past all fear, pain and dis-ease. I advice you to watch my 4 free theoretical videos at: www.alive-academy.com, enjoy your dis-covery and liberation process!
Shake that old shelf off and starts speaking honestly about your own feelings , starts by saying no if you feel comfortable. Pluck the courage and be brave , when you do that , you will see who’s the real and who’s the fake . Because when you are a people pleaser , you turn off the real people and lure the fake shit into your life , I been through it and it’s a vicious cycle . Starting asking yourself, who are you , who’s the real you . Feel it!
@@alive-academy I wish it is that simple. None of the things you mentioned applied to me and yet, I tend to please people, i.e. falls into their manipulation (initially) .. because I don't have the habit of dissecting what some say or do with judgemental view UNTIL the manipulation becomes obvious .. at which point I do put a stop and end up calling a spade a spade which kind of makes me feel like I am mean to them and then wished I saw the intent to manipulate ahead. Unbelievable ways people have unreasonable expectatio .. some obviously, out of their desparation, of the ways people expect me to cater to their wishes made known to me with total disregard to the amount of time it would involve if I were to cater to their expectation.
You described my situation perfectly - and that illustration was spot on - you have clearly been through a lot in life to learn these valuable lessons - and you have done really well for yourself - I am thrilled for your liberation and i wish you the best !
Hi thanks for your sweet comment. You know what you wish for others will come back to you too ;-) So no worries, there is a door opening that will give you and independent, completely fulfilled and abundant life in every way. It might be counter intuitive, but it is there. Enjoy the rest of the videos and if you haven't subscribed to the more in depth videos yet: www.alive-academy.com
Being a people pleaser brings disrespect and disloyalty. You are used and discarded PERIOD! I used to be one and when i picked it up and gradually stopped my users were unhappy and threw tantrums
"Let people be wrong about you. You don't need to defend yourself." Elliot Hulse So, it doesn't matter if a narcissist believes that you are a jerk because you refuse to help them on something that they can do for themselves, but they are lazy to take action. People with disabilities, children, poor people are the ones who need help the most. There is a big difference between really needing help and taking advantage of someone else.
Culture and stupid traditions and differences between men and women caused my pain, hopefully I can create my own kind of culture with only positive things. Filter out the negatives in my life. I have to learn that I'm not perfect and it's normal, even if I have the feeling of guilt.
For me I think it's about the need for external validation and approval from others, but I've also experienced a lot of bullying in life so I think it's an attempt to avoid that (not that it works).
Being radical honest with yourself is the first crucial step. I suggest you to watch my 4 free videos that build upon this video @ www.alive-academy.com Enjoy your liberation!
This is your best video yet!! I will need to watch this over n over again. Then actually put these lessons and discoveries into practice. Thank you so much my friend. You might be saving my life. ! God bless you.
I was abandoned by my x partner when I started being my true self. I dont need them. They went off with someone else to distract themselves from their own feelings. You are so right here. What a great message you are sharing. x
This is exactly what I needed! thank you so much! I felt brought back by the ideas I had about the past when I truly needed to move on IN THE MOMENT, and feel the feelings. Feeling the feelings is moving on! People who hurt us are not fulfilled, and when we hurt others we are not fulfilled. It's a cycle!
This video perfectly describes the life I've lived. It makes so much sense and seems so simple, you so difficult to overcome (everything is fear-based for me). Thank you for putting this together - the visuals were great!
Thank you for your response. It would seem I have allowed other people dictate how to live, what to think, even from a young boy. Unfortunately I wanted to please too many people from opposing sides and failing dreadfully. I am now living on my own and it feels great.
Great speech and an education for all of us to learn how find ourselves again in this world!!! Stay true to yourself and do not give up and you will overcome all obstacles in your life!!!
Learn to say no when your heart feels not to do.. Your life depends on your decision... Not everyone will love no matter what you do for them... It's good to be alone then to be dependent on others to show what we really are...
I am definitely NOT a People pleaser... Although, I have s a intense feeling for Humanity, and Caring for others have been confused with people pleasing. I am a man who Cares about many People... I am a man is Concerned with many things that pertain to Humanity, Safety, Advocacy, Wellness, Wellbeing, Prevention of Harm... I am not ashamed to say what is on my mind... I am Not afraid to say or Speak what is on my mind, Especially when it involves the Welfare, Well-being, and Safety of Women, Children, and Men. I am Not afraid to Speak up against unjustice, injustices ot unfair treatment treatment of or towards others. I am Not ashamed to Help others... I am Not ashamed to Be Caring, Concerned, or Kind... However, my kindness and Caring has also been confused and mistaken for weakness, and I am NOT... I have Always been this way all my Life... I was not trained to be this way, or coached, to be the way that I am, I just am this way. Yes, it is nice to have people like me, however, this is NOT, and has NEVER been my Motivation for Caring for others... In Fact if someone doesn’t like me, it is their Problem and I don’t really Care... What I Do Care about is Humanity, Living Breathing Human Beings... I Care if People are Being innocently killed, harmed, attacked etc. I Care if Others could Be Living Happier, and more fuller, Vibrant Lives... I Love People, Human Beings, Human Life... Therefore my fight is for Humanity...Life... and Love for Humanity... Author Advocate for Humanity, Jason Sandifer, Michigan, 10/13/2022
The real cause of all these terrible things is the abuse. Therefore recognizing that all these abusive things existed in the past and more likely they’re still taking place it’s a good start. Recognizing the ppl who are abusers and removing oneself from the abusive situations.
What if I am a monster without the distraction? Who am I? 49 years being a people please and feeling alienated forever. What if I am worse off not being a people please?
Good question Peter, the distraction of pleasing people, is only necessary as a bandage, when there are unsolved emotions. The good news is, there is a way to flush out the unsolved emotions once and for all, that have been covering us for way too long, so there is no need anymore to please others to distract and cover ourselves, because only the feeling of complete fulfilment is left to be experienced. If you are interested to get clarity and direction to dis-cover your true liberated self and feel like being reborn again, I suggest you to watch my 4 free theoretical videos at: www.alive-academy.com
This video was so, so very helpful. I have a freind of over 30 years who years ago opened a business in the west indies and after it didnt work out she came back to the states displaced... over the past 8 years shes moved from city to city with family- alternating with my apartment sometimes for a year or more at a time... needless to say my friend is back and has been here over a year and I allowed her to be so comfortable that she's taken over my room and bed and I'm sleeping on the couch in my own home because of her severe phobic fear of mice (I live in NYC and yes I sometimes get mice. I know she's in desperate need and shes found it hard (or hardly looking) to find work. I want to ask her to leave so I can have my home back to myself but I can't seem to find the right words to say and I fear she'll have no place to go. I suffer from neurotic people pleasing due to early childhood trauma and often times find any form.of confrontation unbearable and I'm looking for anything to help me formulate what to say and deal with the anxiety of the confrontation after aaking her to leave. This behavior has not served me well but I cant seem to change. No judgements please.
I hope you will find the strenght to make her leave. You deserve to have your own home for yourself. At least your bed. Maybe she should go to an humanitarian association to get help.
My utmost appreciation Tom. Through your breathing technique I am able to overcome my anxiety and obsessive thinking pattern. I understand that running away from emotional pain causes mental illness, but I have always overlooked my childhood trauma. Please let me know how I can get your course and you are saving my life at the moment thank you again.
what is the plan of action to fix this. Its not a matter of why we have the pain or what that pain is...what is the one size fits all plan of action? Please tell us the solution plan of action
The plan is to be alone. Do things for yourself. I thought the video was clear about this. Focus on your wants and needs. Learn to self sooth. Dont overshare. Dont look for validation from others find it in yourself by being alone. Meditate on self love. Give yourself a vacation, a spa day, find what you like.
Your main Page says No content. Help by explaining! Your presentation feels right to me. Dont Go away because I havent started yet and I’m having a panic attack right now, just writing to you!! Cant breathe. Gotta Go So I can just watch and learn!!!Thank you!
I just can’t get a breakthrough, no matter what I do or what I try. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to give up, but I can’t just check out. I hate myself and my life so much. And I think the healing has to come from inside, by itself, you can’t force it or provoke it, it has to happen naturally and spontaneously. So I am sentenced to wait in uncertainty.
It has to come from the inside indeed, but the insight of the inside will set you free. I suggest you to watch my 4 free videos about the insights in the inside at www.alive-academy.com, to set you free. Enjoy your liberation process!
Glad it was helpful! If this video resonated with you, please feel free to watch the 4 additional free ones here alive-academy.com/ They might provide you with new insights 💯 💎🍀
Having been raised by multiple narcissists and catering to them all my life, it feels so selfish to take care of me and to say No to them. They guilt trip me. When do you consider someone as actually being selfish when they say no? Is it when they have alternate motives? Please share. This is so new to me
Choose the TRUTH. BE OUR TRUE WONDERFUL SELF. JOY WIN OVER FEAR : unsolved pain/FEAR OF CHANGE. TURN ON OUR LIGHT OURSELVES. THANK YOU. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR SELF. 🙌
WOW! so basically in ALL your videos this basic visualisation should be the solution to ALL kinds of depression/ dependency even without considering one‘s insividual context of life??? nothing said about how to actually implement any strategies in real life. or is this just a scam after all? psychology is not that simple my friends.
Hello Dragan, I help people get rid of approval seeking behavior and become centered, grounded and confident through trauma release work and subconscious reconditioning, if you're interested DM on Instagram @theboringkaps
Thank you! Subscribed immidiatly listening to you. I SO NEEDED TO HEAR THIS RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE 🙈thank you! I want to take control of my fears and reconise them so I can heal and grow 💜
This one person likes for your to do things HER way, but I ignore her. She wants you to shop where she shops, drive what she drives, and do everything her way. I tell her to leave people alone and do her own thing. She thinks that I need to tell her where I am going, etc. I refuse to do it and she seems to be bitter.
