Portal "Self-Esteem Fund" OST +1hr Loop 

Did you know you could donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!

Funny how so many musicians try their hardest to capture the feeling of loneliness through music, yet Kelly Bailey was able to do it with no words and like, 3 instruments.

*A u d i b l e l o n l i n e s s*

To me, this is what "Cold" sounds like.

Reading through most of the comments sums it all up to two words - Audible Isolation. And that is ironicaly the main theme of portal, of ironicaly genius author...

This song makes me feel how Chell feels. Chell feels she is stuck in this series of test chambers and she doesn’t know what to do. The fact that soon she is gonna face a giant robot doesn’t help her. She sits there with no end to this loneliness.

This is what it feels like to be isolated in space.

This music really shows us how cold and dark the Portal-Half Life universe really is. Chell isolated in a series of test chambers and Gordon Freeman isolated in Black Mesa, Xen and City 17. It really captivates the feeling of slowness and contemplation. The moment in Portal 2 when you accidentally fall into the depths of the old laboratory gives us the exact feeling that this music does. Helpless, all alone in the deep, god knows how far down, in a huge caves, inside of huge spherical chambers suspended in the air. It really does show both sides of the universe, Gordon fighting the entire world and off-world creatures in isolation, and Chell trying to escape a dark, cold and isolated facility, deep underground. One game gives you a sense of action while the other gives you the sense of loneliness. It’s a very complicating and weird way of showing how this music makes me feel but, that’s the entirety of it.

I'm having some kind of nostalgic vibe on my brain, it feels... depressing.

Audible Depression

I remember when I played portal and when this song would come on I would just be still and listen. This track is heartbreaking and heavy, a stone in my soul. It's a reminder of the grim realities of inescapable isolation and the knowledge of being entirely alone, forever. Gorgeous piece, but be careful how you listen to it.

It feels like I'm pressed against the glass of my memory, looking at the past, helplessly trying to go back.

*This track makes me think about paradoxes - puzzles with no solution...* *And how little we know about this world...*

The perfect song for the background when writing. Thanks for the loop.

Even silence is screaming

This is what a liminal space sounds like

if you thought that portal was a cute game with cake and puzzles and companium cubes. then you are 100% wrong this song really fits portal it is also the only one that fits.

Congratulations, you’ve successfully destroyed all time and creation, you merely exist in the void. Now would be a good time to think about what you’ve done.

This honestly, is a real song for isolation. "*Imagine your stuck in a room, nothing to do - but to solve a paradox - a puzzle the human brain can't find the answer to, but to find itself lost in.*"

I feel so alone when I hear this

with music like this, i imagine myself alone at midnight in a closed industry, which relax me in a wierd way.

God this is the most depressing music I've ever heard.

This music has such a dire and morbid feel that suits this game so well, the vibe is just so hopeless and it fits in so well with the chamber isolation of this game

Y’all: lonely Me: -needs something to fall asleep to while I’m hyperfixating on portal-

When you listen to this, it sounds like reality has just been unveiled before you. Like your entire life is a lie. Like reality itself is a lie. What you thought was life, no longer exists. You are stripped of emotion. Emotion was artificial. And your mere existence is a lie. You are just adrift in this empty gray void... That's what I think of.

Can we take a moment to appreciate how great of a composer Kelly Bailey is? Salute.

This it what it feels like when you are trapped in apture labs with no escape in sight and the only thing you know of are kind talking murder Machines and some robot lady

Finally, a version that repeats. I needed this so much.

Jokes on you, I don't need this to feel alone I already am!

Portal, Antichamber & The Turing Test OST for me like

There were many moments from start to finish that made this game special but the moment this song played was what locked it in for me. There isn't a word that describes that feeling so I won't attempt to emulate it.

My dad wishes he didn't get games for us as kids. I played the Orange Box when I was four. This game, (including half life) I believe, made me who I am - how I think. This is why I'm smart and have an understanding of things through trial-and-error. Thank you, Valve, along with the students who first came up with this. I wouldn't have obtained the same level of curiosity without this game. And I actually am thankful towards my dad. He's the one who bought the Orange Box for my older brothers lol

I miss 2014. I was a wee lady, 6 in fact (yes, a 6 year old, 1st grade, playing gmod.) And I remember when I could just relax. Play with my legos without having a care in the world, feeling relaxed, Looking up, in the blue sky of NJ, loving every second. Portal was but a game I had cared about, till 2017. That’s when I started getting into the series, really only Portal 2, but still. It was only till last year, did I play the first portal. I expected to find a game like portal 2, but I found something different. Good, but different. It’s emptiness, desolation made me feel, something. Or a lack of something. That’s how I found this song, this soundtrack, and now have I realized, that the Cake was really a lie.

This just feels like, everyone is gone, and it's just me, walking down the street at night, accepting the fact that I'm alone.

If you play this at 4 am in complete silence, it'll make you feel like everyone on earth is gone and you are the only one left. That's the only way I can describe the feeling. Try it out yourself.

The music itself is not depressing. This song is able to put you in a contemplative mood, to really slow you down and make you stop checking your cellphone for facebook notifications. It slows everything down, and just like anything else that makes you reflect, it uncovers what's already there. I mean, the notes are in a minor scale so it sounds sad, but the song itself is only going to uncover whats in us. Turns out people who play and enjoy videogames are often sad, or hollow (including myself) EDIT: I re read this comment and it's stupid as shit. Disregard it

My brain puts me in the space between awake and asleep when i listen to this, almost like a person who is in coma compaired to a silent hospital where they lie, alone. Blissfully unaware of the world around them. With small interactions to the real world, someone grasping your hand feels like an itch that you wish would just leave you alone. And once you wake up, the drones of the real world come crashing down around you. You sit, and wonder, stareing at the white sky for weeks with nothing but drones flooding the air around you. You lie, and think under all the drones...why cant that itch come back...one last time.

I'm going to give this song an upvote for all of times it helped me study. Ambience is just the best music for concentration in so many ways. It gets you to focus on certain intricacies of the music but still manages to replicate the harmony of life. Sounds pretentious, I know, but the damn-near Zen state that this allows me to reach can't go unacknowledged.

I always have this in the background whenb palying Minecraft servers. I love the half life and portal series', truely masterpieces

everyone's talking about how creepy and isolating this is... am i the only one who finds this relaxing and pleasant to listen to?

when I listen to this I think of death and an endless void of nothingness and SCP containment breach

This song makes me think of being stranded in a snowstorm. Miles and miles from any civilization, nearly pitch black besides what little moonlight can come through, nothing but the quiet wind to accompany you, no way to call for help, and it's just _so cold..._

A track that perfectly encapsulates the feeling of looking up at the empty observation rooms and thinking ”Where the hell is everyone?”

Makes me wish that Valve still made games

This like one of those songs that a soldier gets out of a war and has flashbacks. Anyways 10/10

1) this song captures more about Aperture Laboratories than any of the other Portal 1 and Portal 2 songs they have. Sure "Procedural Jiggle Bone" could give off the same vibes and feel to it but, it just feels-to outside the facility. Aperture is known for its test chamber and the feeling that you are the only human left and that you are going to be left alone in the dark with nothing but silence. The silence in that dark room would be almost deafening to the point that you'd never want to step into a dark, isolated area ever again. It's also known for having no windows, and the only windows they have, are test chamber windows for monitoring the testing areas. This song honestly a deep song that could have many possible meanings. 2) This is awesome btw 3) Remember, the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.

This is honestly my favourite OST in the entire Portal Series, it just creates such a feeling of loneliness that perfectly captures the empty, desolate and liminal space feel of Aperture.

The first few seconds of this brings tears to me, and gives me major goosebumps. Nothing does this to me.

I'd like to imagine this song is enchanted. When I listen to it, I am reminded of every depressing thing that has happened to me. But if I listen to it in game, I start to feel like Chell. Traped, no escape, no meaning, a never-ending maze. When it plays in game I usually crouch somewhere and have a break. Looking at the next puzzle that I am trapped to solve. And when you learn about Rattman, you try to imagine yourself in his shoes. Even more hopeless then Chell, but his hope IS her. The only way to succeed. The only way to stop this monster that killed everyone you knew. And all of a sudden, Portal has a deeper meaning and story. That's why I fucking love the Portal series. It gives you this feeling of unease. And in Portal 2 it gets stronger. Thinking you're the last standing human on Earth, and in Aperture Laboratories.

People talk about the scary ambience of minecraft and fnaf, this game has the spookiest in my opinion

This song reminds me of space, and how infinite it is. Listening to this while playing something like Elite: Dangerous helps to remind me of how empty and vast space really is, especially after leaving the populated area to travel by myself.

I had this tune looping in my head when hospitalized in intensive care for weeks cause of a myocardial infection (Myopericarditis), Feeling of being locked in a sterile place without the possibility of getting out

This music makes the this of this: You've been wandering the desert for months, barely surviving with the scorching sun beating down on you 24/7. Nothing but sand and dry land for miles and miles, as far as the naked eye can see. Suddenly, you come across an old wooden rundown house. It looks like it'll fall apart with one break. The windows are shattered and the front door is busted wide open gently swing front and back. You walk inside the house and everything is torn up and busted. The chairs have missing legs, the couch has a ton of holes and is ripped to shreds, and the cabinets are busted open with nothing inside. Given how rundown this abandoned wooden house is, it has a ton of cracks and small openings where the light from the scorching sun is able to seep through. With every step you take, the house groans and moans, basically threatening to fall apart at any given second. Given how far and long you've travelled in the blistering desert, you decide to rest up a bit on the torn up couch. A small crack in the wall lets some light from sun hit you directly in the face. You decide to just deal with it and drift off into sleep.

You are alone. There's no one to help you... But yourself. You look for something, what is it? A escape? An end for this pain? No. You did nothing but suffer. Its an endless pain, you asked, why me? You've founded more then just more pain. I'm sorry...

It's the perfect song for reading the three body problem book series

For all the emotions this gives a person, for me personally, it gets me on my ass and gets me to work or study the fastest and keeps me in the work. For all the lofi chill and 24-hour music streams, nothing beats Self-Esteem Fund for some reason. If I had to guess, it's how quickly it takes hold of you. The slow, echoing notes bring you to their pace. Maybe it's the memory of solving chambers in Portal whilst listening to this that resonates with trying to complete a task with this playing in the background. However Kevin Bailey strung this together, it's without a doubt his best work.

This music feels like the dark era of the universe after the exhaustion of stars, stellar remnants, and even black holes.

people keep saying this is “audible isolation” or “death and nothingness”, but to me its what you hear when you’re crushed between 2 portals edit: holY SHIT ITS BEEN LIKE 2 YEARS STOP LIKING THIS PLEASE

Man I wish there were more games like Portal that gave this lonliness vibe.

This music when I hear it, I think about portal 1 and 2’s lab places And then I feel alone...

man I miss portal and this song made me cry so hard :

Damn this ambient is so good... For me its what you hear knowing your only living human in a huuuuge facility

Damn, i totally forgot how dark Portal 1 was compared to the second one

This is the kind of ambiance where you just hear the...emptiness

This just gives me some sort of nostalgic feeling and I love it It's the perfect ambiance.

This "song" makes me feel like I'm floating in a timeless black void, where I'm the only visible thing in the visible reaches of far space, and all i hear is the bellow of this melody. Is it weird that it sounds "tasty"?

This track gives me nostalgia of the orange box and my first time playing gmod

This music fits pretty damn well if you were to use it on a video analyzing the Universal Union. (For the uneducated, the Combine from Half-Life.)

Dude when it went “..............” I felt that

This makes me look outside only to see houses and sunshine but no people or cars outside. I felt as if I was the only human on earth

so calming

A beautiful song that encapsulates isolation, strangely eerie while calming.

this music really shows the feeling of isolation that the portal game had, and I wish the second game had more of it.

The people who made this actually made it so that it will make you feel “isolated” or “depressed” its called phsycoacoustics. If you search up portal music it says, apature science physcoacoustics, I wonder if the reason they play this music in portal is to see how insane a test subject goes when hearing this depressing music.

So this is what "Portal Self esteem OST" sounds like

If isolation and loneliness can be a song, it would be this. Hands down my personal favorite track.

This remindes me of something ... portal isn’t a game where you just use portale to solve test chambers.... it’s about being isolated and that ost is the best way you can think of what are you doing wrong, and be happy even from any second... just there... in this ost........... goodbye

Thank you for posting this! Helps me concentrate when I'm doing homework.

this OST really describes portal 1 in it's entirety really well, it's a dark and lonely game, i honestly feel like they tried too hard with the comedy in portal 2 because it's basically the opposite of what portal 1 was. not saying portal 2's bad though its my favourite valve game that i've played and still wish for a sequel

I remember when I first played Portal. I knew nothing about it (or Half-Life), I just heard it was a puzzle game and that it was fun. I spent ages just walking around trying to figure out why every single office was empty and not a single other person was to be seen. Then I was shown Half-Life 2 and its episodes and it all made sense.

portal music makes me feel like this is real like this is what reality really is. i am impressed with valve with these soundtracks.

this song is the musical embodiment of solitude

makes me think of the ending of 1984. just locked in a cage. or in an isolation tank. bright white walls and ceiling. padded floor. sitting in fetal position, nothing to hear but your self narrated voice in your head, eventually you just start talking to yourself. you cant tell the difference between talking and thinking. I need more music like this.

I can picture a situation in my head when i hear this... you wake up in your home, but you’re on the floor. And the sky is a very blue color... not as in daytime blue, but a very strange shade to of blue. While everything outside is dark. There is no sun or moon. You look around your house, but everything is scattered about. And some things are missing or broken. You go outside. It’s slightly chilly, but also kinda warm. You look around and see no cars. No vehicles. No nothing. Some trees and houses are missing completely. Anything that wasn’t missing, was either damaged to the point that it cant serve its original purpose, or broken. You hear distant noises, but cant make out what any of it is. You wonder to yourself “what is happening around the world? Where is everyone?” And then... the rest is untold.

Hopefully people still play portal! :D

god, this piece of music makes me remember a better time, when I wasn't stuck inside, when I didn't feel the need to explain why wearing masks is a good idea. Portal and Portal 2, especially their endings, are the closest I've ever felt to a religious experience.

Blasted this in the shower in pitch black at 3am and it hit on a whole nother level

The first time I played portal, which I think was 8 or so years ago, this legitimately freaked me out. It gave me the feeling like I was somewhere where I wasn’t supposed to be, doing something I wasn’t supposed to be doing (I guess in the game that is true). But it also feels intimidating and ominous, like the complex is sentient - it knows I’m there, and it’s unhappy. The colors amplify these feelings; the test sections were white, sterile, and lonely, and the industrial parts had this brown grime to them, and peeking into the walls and vents there was this disturbing red glow. This, with Glados’s presence, made this feel a lot more like a horror game. Even though at heart it’s a puzzle game, the story and atmosphere slowly creep over you in a unique way. It’s probably why it’s so memorable, despite there being more complex puzzle games since. Even now, this ambience evokes a sense of dread. The soundtrack was so powerful. I wish I could go back and experience it for the first time again.

rarely do you find an ambient track that establishes it's tone with restraint. Most ambient tracks are overbearingly "cosmic" and "spiritual". This is a perfect ambient track

I love this music so much. It's so calm, so simple yet complex at the same time. It doesn't even make me depressed. But if I was slowly dying in space, this would be the music I would want to hear. What makes it funny is I was pissed before I put this on. But afterwards, that anger went away just like someone blowing a candle out. Whoever made this piece of music deserves an award.

I love how in the later half of the video, the loop just stops several times, leaving behind this eerie silence, which _kind of_ actually adds to the depressing tone it already has.

I keep coming back to this song to sleep. Its just so relaxing even though its probably the most depressing song ive ever heard.

Best song in portal, one of the best song in vg history, I think. ^^

This is what you hear in the backrooms

When you realize whats going on outside, it hammers home the idea of isolation in portal even more. Even if Chell does escape, she may never see another human ever again. And if she does, it could mean a fate worse than death. Really there is no happy ending for Chell.

Valve is legendary.

Massive thanks to Liam Triforce and his Portal Retrospective video for introducing me to this masterpiece of a song.

This is like addictive loneliness, I just want to hear more of it

When they ask you why you like Portal 1 more than 2

When gates of universe are opens to you...