Special thanks to: Arakawa Fushida for the voiceover / arakawa_ffxiv skip skipperson for the glam idea / skipskipperson Patreon: / benedict_g Twitter: / benedict__g Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/benedictg #animation #ff14 #ffxiv
POV: You're a Garlean Soldier in The Praetorium (pre rework) *8 WoLs sprint past you and leave all of your comrades unharmed before disappearing into the teleporter
@SystemsReady i imagine a surviving garlean soldier just outside castrum meridianum watching ultima happening is like that one scene from cod mw's Aftermath mission
@@Sabcy2 She was looking kind of dumb With her finger And her thumb Pointing at the Lalafell (oops too late) now she's dead...(trying to keep this on parody)
I really like the idea of the Warrior of Light being a Lalafell and striking fear into the hearts of men the world over despite barely being three foot tall. Especially if they're wearing a positively goofy outfit while doing it.
I believe its canon that Lalas are are exceedingly strong for their sized - they have very dense muscles which is why they can run and jump as high and fast as the other larger races. If a child sized being with the strength of a full grown Roe or Hroth came charging at you wouldnt you be scared?
You can actually do that. In Heavensward, if you return to the ARR sections of the game (most notably Mor Dhona), you can talk to some Crystal Braves members who are practically shitting themselves talking to you. They try to act tough, saying things like "You're not worth my time", but it's clear they're terrified of you. And as for the comment above me about Lalafellin strength, I direct you to this video all the way from 1.0. (watch?v=4evYBUCmPTw&t=576s)
"Woe betide the man who stands opposed to the Weapon of Light, for death will be his reward. Death for him and his kin and all that he holds dear." Lvl 70 drk quest
Just don't mess with the main char of a Mary Sue story or any other lazy written piece of plot armor fiction. Those attacks on Garlean bases and armies are ALWAYS the biggest joke. They are simply unable to write anything beyond slaughtering a bandit camp.
@@pastelaliens4634 It clearly is. The joke is, while you are an invincible murder hobo who solves everything with boring, scripted fights (what makes no sense = bad writing on its own), its not even done in some cool way. WoL and his Mary Sue Scion buddies (just as immortal as the WoL with a ridiculous row of fake deaths) never even are what plan the antagonists got, since the also don't need any plan. It's all about just going in, because they obviously even know themselves, that they got plot armor and don't need to do anything else. Take the oh so praised Shadowbringers (a giant shit show of a story actually, but the FF14 fan community will defend it with arms, legs and teeth without even able to name a single point that is good about it). What plan was there to defeat fatty? None. You pull a mountain sized golem out of your ass, which then doesn't even fight, it solely acts as a stair way. You go up and punch the guy to death. Emet Selch: an ultra wizard who can teleport at will, can teleport YOU at will, can create giant cities with whole monster armies, can obserever you the whole time without being seen himself, can appear and dissapear as he pleases and that faster than a flying arrow. He won, you were fucked, he could gain absolutely nothing from fighting you, still he does and just does not care to be killed, while he could easily avoid that. I had the hope that it was all fake, that this tenthousand year old mastermind just pushed you to become stronger so he could still follow that ominous other plan he never talked about, to save the first and the void by merging it with the source again, healing the planet further. Instead he was just retarded thanks to plot armor and you punch him to death as usual, because instead of nuking you without any chance, he just stand there and takes it for no reason at all. Elidibus: the heart of Zodiark, the only reason anythign still exists and isn't consumed by the planet eating bird brain, in absolute contrats to Hitleryn, the planetera genocide monster, that ripped apart all life and tortured it for 10.000 years, with the clear plan to let all the shards just die, because, hell, what else should happen? And Plan B was to flee with the moon of the source anyway if not some plot armor Mary Sue comes and magically kills the planet eater ( you know, instead of having a whole planet of super wizards, who could easily find a way to fight it...) by, well, plot armor. So Elidibus saw how his braindead friend 1 died for no reason (because hell, Square itself had ZERO clue in AAR and SB where their shitshow should go, so Lahabrea was just a cartoonishly evil ultra idiot without any clue, if you play the story again from the start, it makes even less sense...), then his not braindead but obviously for no reason retarded friend 2 died, so he gets the idea, that he should be retarded do, does absolute shit nothing and again is punched to death. Oh, of course his retarded friend 2 comes up and saves your ass, because why not, makes no sense, but who the fuck cares. "Remember we once lived" is that retarded sentence the fans cheer for. Emet Selch says that to a brainded puppet that got zero clue about them, nor shows ANY interest in it. You are told: hey, you were some super special guy back there, you know, of the actual real people, not that fucked up, slaughtered farce a single Super Hitler made out of everything and -one. Reaction to that from WoL and Scion? NOTHING. They give a fuck. "We only care about us! We die anyway in a few years and all the shards will collapse for sure, because they are bleeding out fractions of an actual real planet, but who cares about them? Fuck those guys! We want to stay the tortured fragments of life, we don't want to heal the world and hope for a future." What was the thing the Mary Sue Cat told you the very first? Don't tell the people of the first the truth. Yeah, I wonder why. Their planet followed the fate of every shard = collapsing and there is no chance that this will change, becaue a bleeding out fragment is a bleeding out fragment and when you look at what little bit was enough to collapse it, there is zero chance that this won't happen. Imagine you told them, that they could get to a version of their planet that is not doomed to die. The lore of the world know about soles, about rebirth. So overall it's simply about that they would be reborn on the source - if not even just finding a way to bring those few survivors there via the CT for example. Not even starting to talk about the void, what overall wasn't even a try of the real people to kill it, the just hoped to heal their friend, Ultra Hitler had slaughtered and distorted. No talk about that as usual. The FF14 story is as disgusting as boring bullshit. You play the braindead soldier of some magical Super Hitler who wants to keep the new "uberhumans" in power, instead of restoring the real world and stopping that hellish tyranny. Imagine someone in the real world would 'solve' the problems by just slaughtering all humans and making them some kiny of short living, aggressive monkeys who die every few monthes, while all continents are ripped away from each other and all but one slowly dying out. That's what Hitleryn did and what you are just forced to accept in this game as absolutely fine and the right choice.
WoL: "You ever stop an think how weird our life is?" Esteem choke slamming a dude Avatar consuming souls Inner Beast on a rampage Blood Lilly casting ultima 2 Ardbert: "No, not really, why."
There's one soldier in Endwalker who talks about being assigned to the Praetorium, and is utterly traumatized by your rampage there. I know the INTENT was that I'd suddenly feel guilty and be encouraged to think about things from the other side of the equation, but.... it did not work. As it was, I just kinda laughed and went, "Yeeeeaaaah, I butchered quite a few of you guys there! Goooood times..."
I think I would awkwardness rather than soul crushing guilt after all the other stuff I would experience that would break a person multiple times over.
@@christopherramirez3003 They are the invading, brutally oppressive empire trying to make the superweapon to genocide us into submission when we literally did nothing to them expect oppose their violent expansion tbf Don’t think they really get a “you’re the baddies actually” in this situation lol
Some people are just conscripts and others aren't as bad as the people we're angry at, true. But at the same time, these guys are part of a campaign to march on foreign land and violently conquer it, which doesn't usually allow room for consideration!
Venat: "All is excruciating pain. I breathe fire and torment. I birth a world of suffering to mire and plague." The WOL is the problem and then solution.
Garlean Soldier: “Finally, a nice safe reassignment to the praetorium, gonna be nice to write back to the wife and kids now that things are looking up.” WoLs: “Allow us to Introduce ourselves.”
@@cailee9820 I mean, if they just let us through to the Ultima Weapon instead of charging at us when we just killed a whole bunch before them and then later are charging at them on a magitek suit of armor maybe their friends wouldn't have died. Also, they were guarding a super weapon to conquer the country they were invading.
@@writer_man5318 The WoL is well known among the Garleans as the Eikon-Slayer. A literal god-slaying murder machine on par with the legendary battle prowess of Zenos Yae Galvus. You'd think they'd have standing orders issued to never approach without explicit orders to the contrary, if only to maintain their manpower.
I think one of the strongest points of Stormblood is that it shows how much of the Garlean Army are conscripts, natives from conquered territories who are coerced to fight, from being in the wrong place at the wrong time when the conscript gang arrives at their town, or to protect themselves or their families from extortion or worse. It could be that by that point most of the line troops you face are native levies, with Garleans serving in supervisory roles. And so most of the “garleans” you are wiping out are in fact non-Garleans who had no choice in the matter. You don’t even get to see their faces before killing them. War is hell.
And we do meet a soldier in Garlemald who was there at the Praetorium. She saw us cut down a huge amount of her comrades without a second thought, and was terrified to see us again.
I love playing Lala. The idea that a knee high dwarf with a punk attitude would drive fear in conquering armies, world ending anomalies, and eldritch horrors amuses me.
Reminds of when Quintus informs his men of who we are, and they step back in terror. And there I am, a pink twintails Lalafell in with starting gear glam while grown men look like they're wetting themselves.
Phallus sus Maximus, Squad Captain of the Garlean LXIX Battalion. Killed by a Catgirl Ninja wearing only a bra & underpants, a male Roe White Mage in spotted underwear, a Lalafel Black Mage dressed like Shrek with a Chocobo helmet, and a male Viera Dark Knight wearing pink Thavnarian dance dresses
Lmfao how the Final Days music crescendo'd as the Lalafell of Light look up at their moogle staff, as if it was this doomsday device and ultimate weapon XD
I remember finding this one soldier in EW and she talks about how WoL killed her friends in Prae and I was like "yes, I killed your friends, very tragic. So how many eorzean 'savages' did you and your friends kill?"
Yeah. "Say that to Noraxia and all the others your friends brutally murdered in Waking Sands. Or maybe you wanna talk about the Eikon-powered superweapon of mass destruction your boss wanted to unleash onto Eorzea, but decided to use it in the middle of your own base?"
The funny thing is, old praetorium in particular demonstrated just how far players will go to avoid fighting any enemy they don't have to. Those teleporters lol
That's when PC players figured out mashing 0 on the NumPad with NumLock on can quick activate and accept the teleporter prompts. I used to relish in surviving and escaping the really huge pull as a tank because that was fast enough to get the teleport off even when under fire.
As of Endwalker, its canon that Imperial survivors of The Praetorium have PTSD of your character and even those that serve in different Legions have heard enough horror stories that they'll always have second thoughts on fighting you even if they have the advantage
Quintus: "The champion of Eorzea will not be so easily cowed." Garleans when realization sets in: [backing away carefully in terror from a Lalafell] Lalafells truly get the best cutscenes.
Accurate. The fact is, to our opponents we're this unstoppable juggernaut of death and destruction that dodges almost everything big and barely gets scratched by things that aren't. Gods, dragons, and armies are no impediment to our inexorable march forward, all that stands in our way are rent to pieces, burnt to ashes.
And even when we don't dodge it because it's too big, we're still somehow always fine. Remember how Thordon just *completely fucking lost it* after WoL tanks Ultimate End?
Which is a theme they play on and show you in EW with the solo duty where you have to take control of a regular Garlean soldier. It really goes far to highlight just how insane OP the WoL truly is. I really liked that duty for that.
The Warrior of Light dresses silly but I’d run away from most anyone, even Lalafells, if they are armed and running after me. You think Pipin is cute? He is, but he’s probably scary if he’s after your head! P.S. The title of this video made me remember the last time I ran Praetorium. I was a Sage decked in the Tower of Babil healer set.
i love this, im just thinking how it would be if it was a higher level dungeon or something like the boss can just hear in the distance his mobs he put for defence get wall to wall pulled and destroyed
"The day the warrior of light attacked the praetorium was the most horrifying experience of your life... but for me it was daily reset" -Warrior of Light
The WoL PoV is casually murdering soldiers in Praetorium for the 50 tomes of causality while singing Payphone with the discord boys. The quality of your productions going up and up btw! Bang on!
I mean they ARE the invading empire who slaughters anyone who opposes them, and are also creating a superweapon to genocide us - at this point they brought it on themselves lmao
@@naoko3749 Dude, they're still being compliant in an invasion of other nations after theirs. Plus we are charging forward after felling primals and the outer castrum plus later on with a magitek reaper. At some point maybe they should have thought to just let us by and recognize that we just refuse to be conquered.
I felt the freaking fear in this. The world around you falling to shit, your life flashing before your eyes... And the one dealing the final blow is a third of your height... Look who's small now.
This is beautiful. ILU and your works. ;w; The way the other soldier just poofed into ash where they stood. Absolute perfection. XD That glam terrifies me, and the moogle wand finally realizes it's true potential! Phys damage.
Gaius had an Ultima weapon. All the other guys were just there because that's where they happened to be stationed. Some were even conscripts who had no choice.
@Breaker Yea, if you talk to some of them in other places, several don't want to be there. There's one dude outside of...I think the the Castrum in La Noscea that says he's terrible at fighting but can play triple Triad so he does that with you. Another one in Gyr Abania can be found cowering in a corner begging you not to kill them and you challenge them to a card game. ...lol
@@MakeSureYouCleanUp the one in Gyr Abania does go mask off for a sec if you beat him, until he remembers his situation and starts begging for his life again.
I had a Garlean character and was in one of my servers Garlean FCs once upon a time. One of my FC mates played up seeing the WoL once on one of their deployments. They did a good job of rping severe PTSD and talked about a lot of the canon Garlean dungeons from the Garlean PoV
