My husband and I are currently living outside of our own culture, are in language school, and are raising a toddler and baby at the same time. Learning a new language has completely changed how I approach communication with my toddler! I now feel her frustration and confusion on a personal level when she can't express herself, because more than likely I was just feeling the same way the last time I left the house. 😂 Learning to talk is HARD! Makes me want to cry plenty of times. 🙂 I am so thankful to be getting this new perspective on the toddler experience while parenting our first toddler. It's been a huge help to me, teaching me to have patience and understanding with her. As parents we are responsible to teach and correct and guide, for sure, but empathy and love are vital as well!
I feel your frustration through your words. I mean that in a kind way. One of my apprehensions in trying other ways of life is not being able to handle this exact thing. I hope you give yourself credit for doing a really tough thing. Parenting in itself can be tough. Moving in itself can be tough. And learning a new language (especially English at that because it breaks its own rules lol) in not only speaking, but reading and writing as well is huge. Not to mention, I'm sure you've experienced some people who were not patient or kind with you. It was very humbling to speak with a woman through Google translate (because of course the translations are not perfect) but seeing her appreciation in what I thought was just trying to do the right thing instead of getting mad at her seemed to be a big deal for her. I know I'm a random person, but if there's ever any way I can be of help to you (with kindness and appreciation for your experience) please reach out. I'd love to learn from you too!
There is no such a thing like "crying for nothing"!!!! There is ALWAYS a reason!!!! I've never seen kids crying as much as hers. This is a case for child protective services!
I am 27yo female with no desire to have kids, but it's always been my 19yo sister's biggest dream. She's preparing to start her family. I think this channel will be one of my first gifts to her.... She's been looking for things to start studying/reading up about motherhood. I really haven't seen anything so wonderful as this.
That is so lovely! I came across a book recommendation on Shawna mom channel, something about tantrums and brain parts being offline at that time. Maybe that would be a nice support as well.
A humble suggestion, you will feel lonely once you age without kids. Not my words. But ultimately it's your choice anyway. I honestly wish you will be happy in the future.❤
This was such a great response! If and when I have children, I think I'll teach some basic sign language just because that can be learned before speech is fully developed to help as well! ❤️🌱
My entire childhood, my father always said "quit your crying, or I'll give you something to cry about". I'm 32 and that shit still haunts me. I never learned how to properly regulate my emotions, how to express them, or that having emotions was normal. It wasn't until my mom's funeral (at 24) that I let myself cry in front of someone due to fear of humiliation and anger.
I never understood why my toddlers cried and what they wanted? I tried asking them but all in vain. So I too have done the terrible crime, by threatening them, that if they don’t tell calmly, then they would get punished, & they would sob through out trying to hold their emotions out of fear, & still they couldn’t explain. They took very very long time to express themselves. Although I made it sure, to communicate through out, & tried to do my best, whenever I understood their requirements, & kept encouraging them to tell more but calmly. I somehow get stressed out whenever kids cry.
@@Archanasingh-sp9wq my father would threaten it, even after he just finished "spanking" me with his leather belt. It's like, geez, I wonder why I'm crying, you literally just hit me 8+ times with a damn belt. I understand being frustrated when a kid can't/won't talk about why they're upset and crying. You can't help if they don't.
@@Archanasingh-sp9wqit’s your choice to have children and your job to understand them. You can be frustrated but you’re not allowed it to show it. Because that will always end up with kids resenting in the future after being unable to communicate their emotions.
@@hajarmdn4883 you are absolutely right, but I was naive then. I did apologise to them when they reached adolescent age. As both the kids grew up I kept telling them to open up & to speak. Which did happen by the time they turned 10 years old. Now they are grown up boys. We are blessed to have them as they are thorough gentlemen, just like their father and they call up every day. One of them is a medico and one is a chemical engineer from a very respectable college of our country. Probably because of my husband they have turned out to be amazingly adorable boys.
I'm sorry. I also was raised like that. Being a picky eater in my family was almost a death sentence. Thks God my grandma stepped in sometimes and helped me but man I remember being in my crib and my dad insulting me about me not wanting to eat what was for dinner. And then later in life at the dinner table still not eating and my dad threatened to shove the food down my throat. Yeah he was such a sweet dad that one.
Oh you could. I didn't think I could either. I even had my worst fear realized, a disabled child. Thankfully the Lord builds in the ability to figure parenting out little by little so that you end up being able to meet these challenges.
Awe! This is when we taught my son a few words in sign language. We made sure to always say the word when we signed so he learned to say it. Cut down on a lot of tantrums. You are doing great Mama!
This and sign language are the best method to help them. I did it with my son and while most kids under 1 couldn't communicate when something was wrong, my son could. It didn't start intentionally either, I would ask him to show me where he hurts or doesn't feel good and it went from there. Everyone always raved about how well behaved he was but the only reason they felt that way is because I gave my son the ability to effectively communicate before he could verbalize for himself. Most kids are well behaved when they can effectively communicate.
At that age they can’t tell you what they want. Just showing love and patience while you do what you have to do with calming purpose and more love it will help the situation. The two’s taught me more patience than I never knew I had. Don’t worry about what other people think. Everybody’s kids had meltdowns at that age. You’re doing a great job.
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼Way to go Mommy🌟Respect!!! OMG Mommy it's just a wonderful demonstration of the hardwork, emotional self regulation & the beautiful patience Moms are have to cultivate in themselves to endure the challenges of parenting & raising beautiful human beings. It's a very hardwork but u make it seem effortless❤❤❤ Trying to keep clam & changing the course of what could have been the unfolding of an ugly moments that trains the kids to react badly(unhealthy patterns) & developing tantrum as a solution getting habit. Which would have eventually became their temperament & behaviours as grown adults...u're doing a great favour to ur baby long-run to help them get in touch with their feelings & how to express them properly to find healthy ways to get our needs met. U're also setting urself up for long-term comfort by enduring the temporary phase discomfort of helping them get on the other side & get on the right course of handling their emotional. Phenomenal transformations!!! This is a genuinely caring parent whose priority concern is about her child well-being more than her own ego or other people's perception/opinion of her. Hat's off for you Mommy🥰🥰🥰 Keep up the good work & thanks for helping raise the next generation of beautiful humans. Hope they'll also follow on ur wonderful footsteps as they grow & go on to build their own families.
I just want to say that I appreciate you. I learn so much with your videos and I implement your methods with my toddler and I see results. Don't get discouraged with negative comments. You are an AMAZING mom with a purpose and you are helping us moms that are struggling. ❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤ THANK YOU. Sending you a big 🤗 hug all the way from France.
I love it ❤ looking at your happy children makes me want to have kids soon. Been 7 months married and didn't have any good news about it 🙃 Hope when the time has comes to me to be a mother, i can do a great parenting as you do.
This is the only gentle parenting content that I've seen that doesn't drive me up a wall. Kudos. Most of the time, the child has already bitten the mother in the face or spit on another child or some other inappropriate action.
I wish people, would stop calling it tantrums. For ffs they are little kids learning. Their world is ever changing as are their brains...it's not a tantrum
My daughter taught her son some simple sign language when he was 4 months old. It really cut the frustration for both of them. We read to him as well constantly and when he entered the second grade the tested all the children and told us he was reading well above 4th grade level. He can also talk your ear off 😅..
Only one of my children ever threw full on tantrums that seemed purposeless. She is very indivdualistic and independent. She needed a lot more freedom than her siblings. It was a hard situation to balance between giving her more freedom but still giving the other children the tighter boundries that they felt comfortable in. But that was more when she was 2 and 3, not this young. This young is just a baby.
Everything takes 30% more time at this age to communicate and resolve their frustrations. Soothe more, offer yes/no options. Limit choices to 2 items. Offer small rewards and explain what's happening when routine changes. Pointing is helpful. "Do you want this one? Or that one?" At this age toddlers have very little control. And just as their feet are ready to go, go, go. Someone is always telling them no, no, no. When they get upset 255 times a day. Say, "I know it's 😡 upsetting. But after [fill in the blank] WE can [fill in the blank]!" A couple of bribes work wonders. Lol. But seriously, you will get through this. This period will FEEL like it lasted for 100 years, but when they reach 3 it will seem like 100 minutes. Hang in there. Say a prayer. And give yourself a ticker tape parade, or maybe some ice cream, every now and then, for keeping it together and doing the HARDEST JOB on the planet: being MOM.❤😊
i always ask my sons when i correct the fussing "that feel better bud??" give a huge smile rub their head or belly n give em a big smooch i love ur parenting
Cool 😎! It helps to know how you're thinking (not that it's any of our business) but it helps me cause, I think if we or our children have (still) transition issues , or "im frustrated but I've not sure why..yet I cry!! LoL I did that at 11yrs old!! (At a wedding!)
Essa é a mãe que eu seria hoje aos 49 anos. Pena que quando tive idade para ser mãe, devido a vários tipos de problema de saúde, não pude ter filhos. Fica para uma próxima 🙏❤️
He did tell her mom what he want by action. He fell on the carpet like a nap, But her mom got it after changing the diaper. He successfully communicated.🎉
I have a 4 month old daughter. Starting all over as my oldest is 14. And while some of parenting is “like riding a bike” and coming back to me, some of it feels like I’ve never experienced it before. I’m glad I found your channel. 💐🥰
Baby sign language really helped us!! My son didn’t start talking until almost two, and even then it was like five words. Signing really helped him communicate his needs to me from an early age, and we avoided a lot of tantrums that way.
Not being able to communicate must be SO hard! We did sign language with our kid and believe it helped a lot! We didn't have many of these meltdowns, as he did have the means to communicate with us. It's been absolutely great to see what they think about😊
You’re such a good mama and I’m so glad I found this channel! I regret not having knowledge like this to use more patience with my first. But now with my second I feel like I have more tools at my disposal. Your videos are so helpful ❤❤❤
Kids don’t cry like that for a diaper age has this crap all wrong he wanted something it’s almost as if she took his blanket and Mickey on purpose to make this video this person is clearly nuts
"Can't communicate what he's feeling" he's screaming and crying...that has "frustrated" and "uncomfortable" written all over it. Seems like an effective communication.
Maybe he wanted areal loving and honest hug from mom and not a blanket. But I guess the poor baby knows that all he gets similar to attention is a warm blanket instead of a warm hug!
I’m sure you are a good mama, but when you ask your child if they “want to do xyz” you are telling them they are in charge. It may be a small thing, and eventually they need to learn how to make life decisions but not so young, and not at every turn. If your child had said NO! Then it becomes a battle. Don’t set you and them up for failure. Instead tell them (kindly) it’s time for a diaper change. There are times and ways to let them make a choice (what would you like to wear today?) but there are also times you need to be the parent and make those calls. Retired school teacher who has seen WAY TOO MANY parents let the kids make the decisions. (Shall we go now? Will you carry your own book bag?, etc etc).
I've seen a lot of babies cry when it comes time to change your diapers. This little boy is not havin it. I know he needs his diaper change but he is not a happy camper.
My son is just starting this phase too. I thought i would be a lot less patient than i am, but i realized early on that i dont mind if he's crying because he doesnt get what he wants, because i know he's really ok. Its the cries when he isnt ok that get to me.
