Pregnancy & Mom Talk: The Truth Nobody Talks About | Jen Atkin 

I’m glad to see I’m not the only person watching this who has dogs instead of kids and doesn’t plan on having kids and yet still thoroughly enjoyed this video. It’s so important to talk about these things especially about anxiety and postpartum depression. It’s so crucial for there to be more open conversations about this. Also, completely agree that people need to stop asking females when they’re going to have kids or when they’re going to have more kids. That is not our only purpose in life and if it’s just a conversation starter, pick something else. I don’t know that I’ve ever asked anyone those questions because I honestly don’t care and you have no idea what someone may be going through.

Let’s all make a conscience effort to not be the noise!!!!!!!!!

I have 2 kids and they are 21 and 19 now but i would say the one thing no one told me is that the worries get worse as they get older. When they are little you control what they eat, where they go, who they are with but as they become teenagers/young adults, you lose a lot of that control. That, in turn, is scary because I'm not always there to make decisions for them or choose who they are hanging out with. All I can do is trust that I provided a solid foundation. Parenting is so hard yet so rewarding. I love my kids and thank God they are such amazing human beings. I also agree that its rude to ask others when they will have a baby.

I love how Jen is taking notes 😂 that's literally me whenever my friends talk about things I have yet to experience

I don’t have kids and don’t plan on having kids and I found this video really interesting and has topics people should talk about! Thanks for opening up ladies!

32, married, scared AF of having kids *and* of not having kids and regretting it when it’s too late: As if the potential discomfort and pain of pregnancy and delivery aren’t scary enough, other topics people don’t talk about are complications and parenting for the rest of your life. Consider the fact that sometimes children are born with special needs that require constant medical attention and a lifetime of parenting (not just 18 years). Even if children are born without special needs, there’s the idea of what you’ll do if your teenager or adult child makes damaging decisions or unexpectedly needs a lot of help - like going through a divorce, unexpected pregnancy, addiction etc. We were freshly married when the recession happened and had to move home. We lived with my in-laws for 3 months while, at the same time, our younger sister was living there with a new baby. It was tough for us, but I can’t imagine how hard that was for my in-laws. Can we also mention the realities of the world and how, having children now, means they’ll potentially grown up during an environmental crisis? Another thing my husband and I think about are the millions of babies without parents who need love and support. Should we add to the world when children are in danger or starving? Realness...if we eliminate the idea of having children (when planning for the future) it takes a lot of pressure off - because our careers and life goals mean a lot more when you’re providing for and setting an example for your child. Like a previous commenter said...it seems that social media glamorizes pregnancy and motherhood & everyone obsesses over playing dress up and decorating nurseries...but where’s the realness?! I have had numerous women tell me recently that, while they love their child(ren) they’re not sure if they would do it again if given the choice. That’s real...but having ranted about all of these scary risks...there’s a beauty in having children that I’ve never seen before. What’s the answer? I haven’t found one yet.

When my sister had her first baby, after a long and hard labour, we were all exhausted. Plus she ended up having post partum depression(she was stupidly embarrassed of taking medication) so my brother in law, my mom and I became a support group. They moved here for the first months(my nephew spent literally 4 months crying) and we kind of took care of him in turns so my sister could recover and had a stress free relationship with her son. I think people should talk more about the really hard parts of motherhood, the depression stigma and make sure they have people around to support them in every way possible.

Hi Jen! Thank you for being real about your curiosities and fears. I’m 21 years old and don’t want children. I’ve always been judged by older woman for my decision to not be a mother. They think I’m too young to close out the option. It was refreshing to listen to you all discuss real experiences. I think you’re brave for admitting to have put your career and relationship first. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being selfish and wanting to prioritize other aspects of life. Motherhood is a choice that we have the right to choose for ourselves.

Also, now that my kids are more independent at 7 and 4, my husband and I definitely have a lot more time with each other. We will do day dates while they are at school or just carve out time. It allows us to be more present because the time we have is limited. We have been together for 12 years so we decided to have them about 4 years into our marriage when we felt like we really spent time together and were ready to share it with someone else. That way, there were no feelings of resenting not having alone time.

When I had my son (4yrs ago) I really was chilled and relaxed about delivery and the whole process. I walked (not wheeled) into the labour ward and I was shocked that I was already 7cm dilated. So I was expecting horrendous pain prior to because of many of my friends experiences and it wasn’t THAT bad. I believe that every woman needs to be really in tune with their body and to listen to the nudges. If something doesn’t feel right, see the doctor, do whatever it is that you need to.

Can you invite 2, 50-60 year old women to talk about menopause? That’s what I’m going through

I hate when I’m asked when am I having a second kid. Like I don’t want anymore kids, I’m good with only one. Being a mom is amazing, but also frustrating!

Love that you're doing this even though you're not a Mother!! You are simply the best Jen💜

Jen’s reaction to being touched at 13:17 is such a mood ☺️

You be the best mum Jen there nothing to be worried about especially you have a amazing husband that’s there to help and support you

Interesting talk. Very tip of the iceberg. I have 2 kids (4 & 2) and I planned my pregnancies. I am like you Jen always want to be prepared for things I do not know. Too many women do not discuss what happens during the whole pregnancy, labour and delivery process. Fortunately for me, my sister in law is a midwife so i asked her alot of questions. Also I watched a TON of RU-vid videos of actual births (there is one British show called 'The Midwives') - those episodes were SUPER SUPER helpful!! My main concern was - contractions (what do they feel like) water breaking (btw it doesn't always break - my midwife had to break mine both times) - what positions can I give birth in (I delivered first time on my side, second time on my knees), I laboured in the shower both times (was 7 cm dilated when I got to the hospital) - I did not have an epidural and never will (I HATE needles) - the pain was bearable bc I focused on my baby and trusted my body to do what it's designed to do. The biggest thing I didn't know when I first gave birth is - when my milk did come in (my breast got SUPER HUGE) like 2 days later! I was shocked!!! I went from a C to DD - crazy! Anyway all in all, self awareness is the main thing during the entire process. And trusting your body knows what to do during delivery.

I don't have children (I have dogs..) and I don't plan on having any. Nevertheless, this was so AWESOME. It helps to know what other women have to deal with. You know, you want to support your friends, but when you haven't gone through it yourself, you often feel clueless. Geez - I'm a neurotic lunatic about my dogs; I can't imagine what I'd be like with a baby. Jen's two friends seem so totally together. So much respect for them!

“NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THE SCARY STUFF” **still doesnt talk about the scary stuff**

LOVE THIS!!!!! There absolutely another video coming. There is so much to talk about when it comes to parenthood and being a mom specifically! Women are super heroes!

Love that you’ve started this conversation! Every point was so dead on and you’ve really just touched the surface, I’ve felt every one of these changes since becoming a parent. One point I’d want to make others aware of in this day and age of social media is the unrealistic (literal) ‘picture perfect’ mums can be so damangibg to see when you’re not feeling yourself. I’d actually get so down that I couldn’t have that cute photo, that I didn’t look ‘cute’, Id miss out on events with friends and being able to document it on my socials. I never thought I’d be that superficial but it really was something that got me down. I had to unfollow a lot of those IG mums so I would stop comparing myself

Never disappointed watching your channel Jen!! BUT Was I the only one distracted at 16:18 watching Roo falling asleep ... adorable 😻

This was my favorite video of yours! I have a 6 month old baby girl and all these questions were spot on with what you “find out” along the way. Also you are hilarious and made me lol. Thank you!

When ever you do decide to have kids know this Jen you and mike will be amazing parents. Xx💋

More of these please! This is what we are missing on RU-vid . Loved it

Loved this video! I turned 30 this year and it feels like all of my good friends are currently pregnant or have kids already. When my best friend got her first daughter (6 years ago), our relationship was really put on a test. It was NOT easy. We worked it through somehow and I love her from the bottom of my heart, but our relationship has definitely changed. And it has been a tough ride to get back to „normal“. Now she is expecting her second child and I am not as afraid anymore, because I know what to expect. - I would love for you to record an episode on friendship & pregnancy. You talked about it a tiny bit in this video, but it would be great to hear how you worked through the fact that you and your friends suddenly had such different lives, once the babies came into play. How do you still find common ground?

Overthinking it Jen, don’t wait too it’s harder on the body later. Kids require so MUCH energy!

OMG so scared too. It's just scary to change so much when you love your couple and your life the way it is... is it gonna be for better? And so much information and things to think about.

This video is everything! Thank you for keeping it real.

I am a 27 year old working mother (and wife), with a soon-to-be 5 year old son. I have no intentions of having more children, but this conversation was very real. Thank you for sharing- this is what we need more of; open, honest, and vulnerable conversations.

As a 37 year old woman who is thinking about kids I find this video very interesting and informative! Good job Jen!

I absolutely love this video. Way to put it out there and makes women, like me, feel more comfortable for that next chapter in their lives.

Your videos are super refreshing!!!!

Tysm for doing this video and for your beautiful friends who shared their experiences!!! So important to have real talk about such a life changing topic. Love you Jen!!!

I’m so happy you brought this up on your vlog and your book!!! 📚

Can we talk about how beautiful the 3 of you are. Also watching Too fall asleep in your arms is the cutest thing ever!! You 3 should do a challenge video or a drunk get ready with me :) love u Jen!!

Me when it comes to people asking about our friends kids ages “how old are so and so’s kids now?” Me “Em, 5 and 7 I think?” They’ll always be that age lol 😆 loved the honest frank and open discussion. My husband and I have been married 14 years and we don’t have children but that was our choice. I love my relatives and friends kids to bits though. I would never ever ask someone I didn’t know when/if they were having kids it’s so inappropriate and intrusive. The looks you get from some people when you say you don’t have kids are just as bad. You might as well have said you were a child catcher 😱🙄😒

I love the friendly shade moments! 😝

you are all so pretty!

I LOVED THIS!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Love that you did a video on this. Having these conversations are great.

My mom told me to never explain myself , every time someone asks me a weird / intimate question just give a short clear response and move one , people are noise and mean for no reason

I very much appreciate this video!!! Keep going!!!! It’s exactly what we need to hear!!!

We need to remember that when people ask about you future it’s not in a malicious “I don’t care about your accomplishments” it’s a conversation starter. It’s getting to know you. People aren’t allowed to engage in conversation anymore out of fear of “offending” at every level. I find it sad. I know the flip side and I see that point also but consider also people just want to get to know you and yes your goals as a family is included in that.

im dead . def need to do another video with these two ladies!!

I'm not a mom and honestly, I don't know if it ever going to be one just because all the things you guys talked about it gives so much anxiety that my brain 🧠 just blocks itself

Weird to me that Jen would go so far as to freeze embryos, but doesn’t know about some common google info about pregnancy. I feel like she’s so driven to be knowledgeable! I’m on the fence about having kids, but I’ve been researching a ton about pregnancy and new motherhood. On the flip side, though, I love that she is willing to be vulnerable about what she doesn’t know, and creates a space for her followers to join in learning about life ❤️

Mom guilt is real!! No one will be harder on you than you.

Loved this, something so different than the usual stuff

Yessss more of this please! a whole series

All of the things your mom wouldn't tell you. Thanks for having this convo with us Jen! Maybe another video on things to know during pregnancy? -Love, a girl in her early twenties

I was showering, had the speaker on with my favorite music and this video came up as an ad LMAO I’ve never been so mad in my life

Wow! This was such awesome content! I like the discussion and I really enjoyed how real it was.

Thank you for this!!! Every human needs to watch this!!! Would love more! Topic I'd love for you to touch on- more real feelings/info on vaginal tearing during labor (either naturally or the dr cutting you), what recovery is like, what having sex afterwards is like, and if it's ever the same down there lol That's one of the things I think I'm most terrified about and none of my friends ever give straight answers/no one ever truly talks about it.

This was so funny! Very honest and true of what it’s really like. I enjoyed this! 😂

I’m not a mom But I like to know all about post partum. I think it’s a taboo topic and I like the exposure of it rather than just the positive things of pregnancy!

Agreed with Lindsay “they can never do enough”. Not to bash on any men but women do SO much. Friend fights...find your footing

Youre so organised im sure youll be fine

Thanks for sharing!! Even though I teach preschool, I don't see myself having kids in the future, but I do have friends and family around my age with kids. This was both fun and informative! Also those big medical words tho....hahaha

ALL pregnancies as well as actual births are never the same for any two people. I think it's also what makes it even that much more special when you do have a child bc it's all YOUR story. Imagine a family with 3 kids - two being your "stepchildren" (for all intensive purposes, I mean, they also call me their stepmom, so why not! Lol) that live with you full-time (and whom see their mother once every weekend - she was in and out of their lives for almost 3 years until just about a year ago.when she got clean - or eased down on the drinkkng, I should say) and the youngest being your own child whom who share time 50/50 with their father. IT'S CRAZY... and hectic... I mean, the holidays are just insane to have to schedule around things especially if one of the parents doesn't have a car or license, planning everything and making sure EVERYONE is in the loop --- first off, anyone in a "mixed" family, know that keeping a good communicative relationship with both your ex and your significant other's ex is 100%, not heartwarming and fun, but the most important thing regarding the children and THEIR happiness, which ultimately in turn, will keep everyone else calm and relaxed and overall happy. And just two more things! 1. To any of the women that I've read commenting sayng that you or you and your husband's/partners are choosing to not have children - there's nothing wrong with that at all!! Don't ever let, even if it's just a look, make you feel like you're making a bad decision or the "wrong decision" ....do you know how many times my fiancé and I have said to ourselves "jeez, with the money spent on Christmas, we could have gone on a cruise or SOMETHING!" 😉 And to any and all women who may read this and are debating on children or if you definitely want children... Damn, it is HARD. Just one is hard. Raising 2 children that aren't even yours in hard - I came into their lives at 4 and 6, they weren't babies anymore. They knew what it was like with their mom and dad, not just mom and just dad nevermind dad and a girlfriend. My stepdaughter hated me and I know this bc her and I have actually talked about it - which I told her was fine! To kids... you're intruding and it takes time to build that trust with them. BUT, being a parent - even with all that scary and hard BS you go through from the minute you basically get pregnant 😂 it is so worth it - all of the "firsts" you get to experience, milestones, just fun times together doing new things and the memories you get to keep - I personally don't think anything can beat that ❤️

Okay loved this

Yes I’m here early love you Jen your an inspiration to me❤️❤️

You seem quite genuine as well ❤ !

Yes! ‘Dangle feeding’ is so good got clogged ducts.

I love this video Jen you have some real ones there telling you truth

#childfree

Ďear Jen! If you feel not sure to have kid dont do it. You need to desire having one. When you are free you dont understand how important is that for you until you have a kid. Kid brings The best of you but Also the worst because of lack sleep. Your realationship at The begining will suffer but everything will pass* specially when your child start to hugs you and say mama. *if you Love each other and have strong relationship I am writing it from perspecitve of having happy nad easy going boy. But There are Also high maintenence children and I dont know how parents cope with it... You never know who you will win at this lotery. Plus if having flat stomack is importent for you seeing how it grows will be odd. I had huge wains problem with my legs and noone prepared me for it. During The pregnency you have 50% more blood in your body. Swiming is The best sport in pregnency. And eating healthy. I gained only 9 kg nad because of age and tiredness is hard to loose weight even when you breastfeed. Im so happy that I swam and had great diet. P.S. noone will prepare you for it. You need to desire it like great Job, bag, holidays etc. It need to be your dream. If its not think about it. Ps2 I dont compare child to The bag 🤣 Kisses Ewa

So I was minding my own business, trying to fall asleep to asmr, when I got an ad for your channel. I didn’t skip the ad for a while because I was comfy under my blankets, but it kept just going on and on, so I looked at my phone. The “ad”, if you can even call it that, was 20 minutes long. It was this WHOLE video. I don’t know how the whole “RU-vidrs having RU-vid play ads for their channels” thing works, so I don’t know if you chose to have it be this whole video. You want to bring people to your channel? That’s great! Go for it! Have RU-vid play your ads! But don’t make them a whole video, let alone one almost a half hour long. *anyways thanks for listening to my TEDtalk* and I’m sorry if this is coming off extremely aggressive, it’s 3am but felt it was justified to complain about this.

This is such a good conversation But I have to say that I cannot believe we are Still having this conversation. I had my kids 29 and 27 years ago and this conversation hasn’t changed one bit sadly.

Enjoyed this!!

Art of wellness belly band helps with an separation xx

I feel like (in order) they're giving off Miranda Hobbes Carrie Bradshaw & Samantha Jones vibes for sure

Mastitis is when your clogged milk ducts become infected and usually involves fever and needing treatment with antibiotics. You can have clogged milk ducts (I used to get them occasionally) without having mastitis. Massaging your boob as you pump or breast feed always helped me unclog the ducts.

What sweet friends you have

Yesss!! Accurate, and there’s still so much more people don’t talk about.

Love this!

I have a 7 year old son and 4 year old daughter and nobody told me any of the scary real stuff either. To be fair though, I had them both before I turned 30 and I didn’t have many friends who already had kids. I’m the designated go to mom in my friend group now.

My friend got pregnant and she dumped me as a friend cause guess what I have no kids.

I'm going to have my first baby next April. Pretty excited, but only nervous about making enough of an income as a freelance designer. -_- I started a youtube to aid that movement, but we'll see how it goes!! Love, Brigitte Trevino

Dead 💀!😂😭do they have colostrum at Whole Foods “ loved !!!

I just had my second child and my husband and I are both counting the days until our 6 weeks are up lol 💦

im 6 months rn

This starts out so awkward 😂

Wow these questions!!! Your looking wayyyy to into it Jen!!! It all falls into place when it happens! Mike will make an amazing dad you won't lose him if anything you will fall more in love with him! Work and parties don't mean shit when you see your child's face for the first time the little face is what you'll live for! If you look into all this before being pregnant you'll never get pregnant! I vomited for 6 weeks pregnant up until the day I gave birth I have never heard of it before each pregnancy is different!!! And breast feeding is amazing even if you can only do one month the colostrum is milk gold! I'm 22 and a first time mum my boy is only 1 all this info comes when the baby comes! Loved the epidural would have it again and again! You clearly don't want kids! And it's a shame because you and mike would make amazing parents to a very lucky and cool kid!

i always am nervous about my eggs!

Pooping during delivery you seriously can not feel it happen... you just want that baby out so bad and they clean it up immediately 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m Jen.

♥️

💗👼

The girl on the right is 27??

HA this scared me so f***ing much. Mental birth control secured for a while

Cause all you do is give the baby all the attention but you need to balance it out by doing a set day for you and mike and also for friends and yourself it’s all about balancing I think

ok Ladies love your theories on motherhood and pregnancy. BUT ITS REALLY NOT THAT COMPLICATED sorry for caps... You Pee every hour because you have a small human in your stomach sitting on his or her p[illow...Your bladder. leaving about 0 space for storage. so the bigger they get...the less storage your bladder has. it just happens to work out for your up all night training....lol Love young mothers you really are ADORABLE. Keep up the good work. My advice (I know you didnt ask) Let them babies get dirty... play in the mud, roll in the grass. just check for debris first if your in city limits and not in Your yard....So many new parents are afraid to let their kids be kids...♥

Nothing you can do for abdomen tearing besides surgery

after i gave birth, my husband waited 6 MONTHS for me to be ready to have sex~~lol... jen ~~ i think we used the same doctor to freeze the embryos ~~ lol~~ Dr.H?

More scary stuff no one knows

First of all.. I didn't wait 6 weeks to have sex. More like 4🤫😬