Prepare for the 1:1 Ambush Meeting 

they turn into managers and bosses and VPs and CEOs....

@@goudagirl6095 a m e n !

Perfect phrase

Great quotation on your take on bullies and it’s true.

Well done to you, at least they had to pay, good luck with your next job.

"Make them pay". I love it.

I did this exact thing.

Yep, this is what I've done. .several times.

Yep! That's my advice. Stay strong, stand your ground and get your little unemployment benefits and look for another job you love!!

😂 exactly that happened to me too

I also experienced the unnecessary nonsense at work. They all like to smile and pretend nothing is happening.

Happened to me too. It's always old, ugly men who are bitter that the young attractive men get women's attention. That or it's women with a stick up their arse.

Yes, Next thing you know its like you can't do anything right.. You start questioning if you are special needs or something.. Been there.. If I could go back in time to my ambush meeting I would give him the finger and a piece of my mind and walk off into the sunset...

Exactly!

This! Going through it right now

@@pirateslife4meme too

@@pirateslife4me It can be hard to do, but you have to remember it isn't about you, it's about a toxic workplace, which breeds these types of interactions, plain and simple.

Amen!

I'm going to be tomorrow!😳🤗 I'm going to just take notes, and listen.

Im going through the same thing RIGHT now! Wish me luck. My meeting is in 2 hours.

@@onetabbymouthatbedtime8719 how did it go? did you get audio?

Kendra Bennett oowoiwewte

@rocky mountain lass Classic psychopathy :) to make the target think they are the problem

Is true

That's called gaslighting

Exactly and after they’ve engaged in gaslighting you for standing up for yourself they’ll simply redouble their efforts in other areas and reduce the types of things you may be able to document more easily. It never ends. I have PTSD now.

No they just deny everything...or smile.

That's ingenious actually

I hope I remember to do this in the future.

matt3272 I know the feeling. It surprises me how people, who asks you to stand up for theirs & yours long term bullying... by the very same people, is quick to turn on you, when you finally do. Idk if they have more to lose but it just doesn't make any sense. I feel betrayed by their coward ways and annoyed by their fakeness. Their speech was, " People can't do whatever they want, or say whatever they want and if enough people speak up, maybe we can have a change." This doesn't just costs the company money, productivity but lives.

matt3272 Coworkers often complain but are afraid to speak up. They’re afraid they’ll lose their jobs or be labeled as troublemakers.

This is overwhelmingly the case for targets. I'm sorry this happened to you too.

Roz Christopherson yes. That’s why I thought it odd to get the others involved. Heck some were likely in on it.

I learned that the hard way, too. People will always look out for themselves and protect themselves above you. Work 'friendships' are not real friendships.

I am so sorry... nobody deserves that

Can you elaborate what happened after hiring an attorney? They did they stop bullying you or it gotten worse? Did you leave the job and file case afterwards?

@@f50koenigg I was terminated and then filed.

@@shrimpie69 What happened? I wanna learn from your experience.

What happened

Hope it worked out

I am afraid that management people never acknowledge their bullying.

I'm surprised they gave you 3 days notice of the ambush. At my company its "hey, can you meet me in the office". No notice or reason is ever given.

Kimberly K Same story here. Worst is that there really is nobody having your back, HR and managers are all sitting in one boat. I also sometimes blame myself I didn't get myself out of the situation before it came to the PIP as I had this guy feeling for quite some time that something bad was going to happen.

Keep your chin up! You are a good person.

Angela L I just got hired at a new employer and they used this same tactic on me 4 weeks after I was hired. Constantly, I get asked by my coworkers, what kind of experience do you have for such an opportunity to work in an hospital. I completely agree with the same feelings that he is stating in the video.

Angela L I need my job

LaTasha Williams We all need our job, that’s not the point. Completely understand that finance must be adhered to. But it comes down to your mental health.

catfish1260 exactly never grovel

catfish1260 Wow!!!!

LOVE IT! I'd love to hear your entire story!

Good job standing your ground!😊

There are things that can be done. ..

Dear Lord!! I am So Sorry to hear this! I believe the world is in a great transition right now, and all the D~Bags in positions above us will be escorted off to where God sends them, but Away from Good people like you who know what life is supposed to be. Either way, you will be Victorious soon. Keep your armor up and Faith even higher!

@@fastenol1 You're kind to say this. I double what you said here as well. These kinds of people are evil Narcissists/Psychopaths who many companies Love to hire to cause harm to employees. Evil. Willow, my heart is with you. 💓🙏

Robin Lindberg, I was up too late looking at jobs near home too. The place is making me crazy! Pra

Same thing, Ive been off on disability with PTSD for 3 years and its about to run out and send me back to ground zero... when I wake up every morning my first moment is the tears at realization of what my life has now become and I spend the rest of the day trying to get my mood stable and come back to the present today... only to start the whole process again tomorrow. It’s hell. Did you have constant intrusive thoughts and memories of incidents where you keep trying to defend yourself to them and win? Because this is one of my worst symptoms I’d do anything to make it stop and not being able to leaves me in some pretty dark places at times.

Nobody cares what got “revealed” about bullies in hostile workplaces - you just get labelled a whistleblower and trouble maker and retaliated against until you crack or quit. If you invoke their own anti bullying policies, the bullying just moves further up the chain because now upper management hate you to for exposing their own incompetence... which also still doesn’t change.

You're basically describing almost every rich person 😅

@@KarmasAbutch I used the word revealed for your own peace of mind. Of course nothing will change except maybe for the worst. These bullies are in place with the endorsement of management not because of incompetence. So stand your ground and don't crack or quit until the job has served your purposes. Or, force them, with their tortured cowardly logic, fire your ass. Like you said, "Who cares?"

Bullies are everywhere so ignore them.

@@KarmasAbutch True. Depends on the type of Bullies. Management don’t like weak cry babies & they don’t really care or have the time. Most employees get along

what were the violations, congrats

Sorry for the late reply! LOL I'm in CA and their violations were against both federal laws and state laws. Employees need to know that it only takes ONE time that is provable to be considered. People think bad practices have to be ongoing but they don't. (Learned this from my attorney). My case started with 'interrupted' breaks/lunches'. My boss and co-workers would come into the break room with questions, work issues, order issues etc while I was off the clock CONSTANTLY! I was also asked to work before or after I clocked in/out. NOTE: I was at this company for over a decade and watched other people put on monthly salary after they were hourly for a few years. I had a shit manager who refused my supervisors request to put me on salary multiple times because it would mean a significant pay increase. This 'little' increase would have negated most of what the lawsuit entailed, adding up to less than 10k extra per year. Being a salaried employee over an hourly employee would have made much of my lawsuit moot. Instead, they had to pay nearly 800K in fines, pay my attorney fees and because it was a class action lawsuit my coworkers who qualified got a decent chunk of change. Note to my former employer- if you treated me with just a little dignity and respect instead of perp-walking me out to my car after firing me, you wouldn't have been sued. Sorry you closed 2 of your 8 locations, laid off 40 employees... They deserved better and so did I. Treat your employees well and they won't sue you.

@@TheButterygoodness Fantastic. I respect you immensely. ❤️

@@TheButterygoodnessGood job for standing up for yourself

I am so sorry you went through this. I go through the same situation at this place I work. Since I started there this thought comes to my mind often. What makes these people behave this way? How come adults can feed off a situation like this? The only explanation I have is that these people are miserable, unhappy low spirits..

Healthy Workplace Bill. Our legislators need to support and vote for it.

I work with psychologists all day. They're all bullies at work. Very narcissistic.

well said

I made sure to use up every single one of my free EAP appointments (becase of course, they assumed I was the one with a mental problem - which you do get when you work for psychos!)...and after about 3 sessions, the therapist said, "So your main problem is that your boss is an a--hole." WOW!! How powerful to just have that acknowledged. She said that she had to have a diagnosis to complete treating me, but she was really awesome.

@@MzShonuff123unfortunately I know this too - I’ve experienced grotesque behaviours.

Brandon Boom Just read this. Nothing so far. Sick leave. After that clearly finding a way an agreement for me leaving the company.

Tanja Rautner Same, honey ❤❤❤❤

Katie J I hope you're alright? Did it happen recently? In my case my lawyer is negotiating with the company and they want me to sign a non disparagement agreement lol. Of course. Not going to sign.

+Tanja Rautner How did you find a lawyer?

I was also given the same sort of plan after bring bullying up lol I'm from South Africa so it seems to be a pattern world wide

Work place policies have changed a lot since 15 years ago.

In case you are fully decided on quitting, just make sure to get your boss fired as well.

Omg I can so relate to what you're saying!!

@@DM-nj9vw see a lawyer for advice

HR is never your friend!! Ever!!!

Perfectly stated! I am going through a similar thing now. Awful

Yup. The union reps were worthless-at 96K. Amazon employees, be careful what you ask for.

It's not always so dire. I have been called in, tried to counter every point like you shouldn't. Got pissed off. Blamed the manager who called the meeting. Acted like a total dum dum. I hope I survived because I was right, because I played it WAY wrong after watching this video.

Some people can't get a new job within reasonable time so they go full broke.

Then the abusive employer already won. Every day employment is lost due to illegal retaliation is another day of lost wages.

So true. Why would anyone want to stay in a shitty job when not appreciated. I’m surprised people would rather stay if so unhappy.

@@Teamawesomese1337 Depends on how bad the abuse is or was. Most cases can take years.

@@Teamawesomese1337 Employers most likely to win unfortunately. They know

I know right!!??!!! Spot on!! Best video yet on RU-vid re this subject.

Angelina Pingitore same xx

Same...

Same. I actually had a mini anxiety attack got sick. Had to run to the bathroom at the end of the meeting to throw up several Times. It triggered si i a severe migraine and visceral response That my mom had to come pick me up

Have a good day everyone, may a good job come your way

at least there was no -- smear -- never knew monsters like this exist

yup, things don't get better, they get worse

Been through this a couple of times. In both cases I asked the manager directly what the meeting was about, and when he wouldn't give me an answer, I told him I wanted 30 minutes to prepare my notes.

Because the toxic culture has bullying, pisspoor management. Hopefully there isn't a next time, but you know what to look for and can have something else better lined up before they start pulling this bullshit, and can feel the satisfaction of telling them to take the crappy job and shove it. There's no such thing as the bullied employee burning bridges. The despicable managers who terrorize their employees already did that long before you left.

@@carolmahoney2109 In my workplace, the ambush meeting is truly an ambush, they conceal the fact that a meeting is even going to take place. My first experience with this began with a simple text saying "hey can you pop by the office for a sec". When I walked into the office, I was greeted by the manager as well as the HR rep with "close the door and have a seat", and the 2-on-one verbal assault began. From that point on, all random requests to come to that office are replied to with a question asking why. I mentally prepare my script just in case it becomes an ambush, and I'm always prepared now.

You can't use privately recorded conversations in a court of law in certain states. It's best to check the laws in your state and begin the recording with everyone aware that you are doing so if that is the case in your state.

IF. there are plenty of one party consent states.

And even if you can't use a recording in the court of law, you can put it on RU-vid :-)

@@DM-nj9vw any recommendations?

@@DM-nj9vw very neat gadget. thanks.

Patrícia Azevedo I've been on sick leave after this ambush meeting as after months of being bullied by my manager and as its top the PIP meeting I couldn't take it anymore. It's so harmful and I'm in therapy because of it to reestablish my self esteem and gain some trust that I might be able to find a better employer. I hate how people put others in such a bad spot.

Patricia, how long did you go on leave for?

+Tanja Rautner How was it when you went back?

same!!

In my state, it is legal to record a conversation as long as you are party to the conversation. However, my former employer had a policy against it, and I was found to be in violation of that policy for placing the recording device on the desk and stating, "I will be recording this meeting." I immediately turned it off when he asked me to, but still I was found to be in violation of a policy. One of my punishments was to read all 50 of our policies in a month's time (as well as do my normal workload, and other 'remedial' tasks) - every single one of them had some sort of phrase that stated, "...or, as management may deem appropriate." Meaning, a policy could be violated as long as a manager said it could be. 100% of policy was at management discretion.

oh yes. I've been told I was being insubordinate many times. Reason? I was given a task to do and I needed to ask a few questions. The bully said "JUST DO IT! And get out of my office!" Questions = insubordination. There is no dialogue with these people. It's a dictatorship.

That's the typical abuser logic..I don't want to hit you.....you make me hit you...you have rights to protect yourself from bad employers....

This just happened to me today … I asked for a schedule after not being on it for 2weeks I didn’t get a reply so i said a joke on how they are wasting my time and then the supervisor replied that he would be messaging me shortly in another chat while he had already talked to other employees about their schedules on the same chat , I told him no stay on this chat and then messaged me directly that I was being insubordination.. wow it’s messing with my head

got yelled at for doing extra that hurt no one at all. they think it made them look bad

lol you def beat them to it :) now make sure to document everything, and read up on employment laws -- this sounds like just the start

A weird thing about human nature is that the First to accuse is always assumed to be right. So I guarantee, one or more of them had already made a complaint about you before you made your complaint.