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So many people conceptualize some form of reward after death, and have no idea that death can be a relief unto itself. I look forward to not having to exist anymore, no more pain or hunger or sadness. I've cared for people who've had terrible suffering and died horribly, and people who've had good lives and good deaths. We live in a dystopian hellscape nightmare, and it is comforting to know that no matter how bad things get it will stop eventually.
Thank tou for going over this Jake, because Bro, I have been grappling with fear that I will die someday, and have been dreading the death of my loved ones. Ive been haunted at the reality that no matter how much I savour the moment... when the time comes I know ill yearn for more time and regret every wasted moment. I dont get to talk through these feeling often, so this segment gave me a much needed pick-me-up. Stay golden, Lord Kernal of the Bretheren Cob!
I've grappled with grief before and after I became an agnostic atheist--and I've grappled with different kinds of death as well. Whether it's someone I know, or it's someone I never met, but look up to-- the most painful aspect is the loss of that connection, of not hearing what they'll say next, of not seeing what they'll do next. I don't know if there's an afterlife-- But I do know their legacy exists, and is something I cherish. In a way, a person's legacy is like an afterlife. An echo that you'll do your best to hold onto. As much as you'd wish there was more than an echo.
I think “closure” is something that cannot be achieved if you truly love someone, and that’s why religion is so big cause it takes the guesswork away and acts like a prescription for grief.
I recently lost my best friend and emotional support cat, Meadow. She means the world to me and has gotten me through the most difficult times and important milestones in my life. I suffer from complicated grief on top of this, which means the loved ones I've lost in the past still hurt as much today as back then. I don't believe in any kind of afterlife or deities. I still talk to her as though she's still around, in the spaces we inhabited together and during the activities we shared together. When you lose someone, you still have the memories of them, the lessons they taught you, and the mark they've left on your life. It's perfectly understandable to address them to reinforce these memories, and remind yourself how important they have been to you.
I think it's really hard to articulate the absolute abject dread I experience when thinking about death. Logically, i know that I can't experience death because I will simply cease functioning, but there is still always this lingering terror of everything coming to an end and not being able to experience anything anymore. Ive tried coming to an acceptance of death, especially with the amount of friends and family I've lost in my short time on this planet, but it still sends me into a panic attack to think about it. I hope some day I'll be able to find acceptence and peace, and I don't think I'll ever stop trying, its just very difficult. Being an ape who is painfully aware of it's own existance and mortality isn't exactly great for someone with severe anxiety lol.
i felt every single word of this, and every ounce of terror. I live with dread about this every day and hope the same for you and myself that we can come to terms. It feels a little sad but i’m also slightly relieved at the same time, to know other people feel the same way as I do
Have always wanted to hear you talk about this subject, and honestly, would really enjoy if I could ever sit down and chat with you about it. Thanks as always for doing what you do, Papa Jake!
You know one thing I have noted? As a Christian... you just often don't process grief. My grandma died this year and my grandpa is still deeply upset. He has at most 10 more years, I get how sad it is but like... you _do_ believe she is in paradise yeah? Several months later he is doing well but not over it. Why not though? You are going to see her again are you not? That is what you believe yeah? But they never act like it! Why? If I believed in Heaven if my SO and best freind both died I would just follow them into the dark. Why would you not want to?
Idk. I feel like if I spent most of my life with someone as long as they probably had, and they were gone one day, I feel like I'd take some time to grieve and mourn, even if I did believe in an afterlife. That person is gone, and even if they're off somewhere better, they're still no longer with you. That's a whole person missing from your life. That being said, you are correct how most older Christians don't really process grief normally. Full disclosure I'm Christians, but I don't really go to church that often. Though this past month I've checked on the pastor my family used to see, and he's been kind of going through a bit of a depression, seeing as the previous month was the anniversary of his dad's passing. Pastor is an older guy and his dad had passed I think a good 5 years or so back. He's kind of been having a rough go of it and I've wondered if it was just him still in mourning or memoriam of his dad dying, or if it was maybe him still not fully processing it all. I'm not really sure. Sorry for dumping on ya, you just got me thinking
@@randomman4628 It’s fine I tend to think about things like this fairly regularly, I don’t have any reason to believe it an afterlife but if I did and my significant other and my best friend passed there’s a timer set for thirty days on my life. I don’t want to be without them. My relationship with my family is… not good. I am not trying for sympathy, it's just that I don’t really think about them as much as a typical person is going to. My family have seen me as dead in the past and my dad basically still does so I have mourned them long ago despite them being alive. Heck my boyfriend’s parents convinced several of my friends that we were dead. That was fun coming back home and going to their new church. Two dead guys walking around the church. Weird reactions, people scared of us, people sorry about what they said despite them never saying it to us. It’s just something I have odd observations of.
one of the greatest disservices of Christianity is that if someone is to start believing something different or happens to lose their faith, it makes the process of grieving or conceiving death extremely difficult for some people. Growing up Catholic, I always assumed an eternal paradise. Upon seeing death and realizing the horrific possibility of hell within a christian framework, i was terrified. Upon abandoning religion and picturing nothingness at the end of my life, I feel hopeless that I may forever lose my consciousness that I like. No “live every moment” matters, because I may not even remember it anyway. I now have to start from the bottom to process all of these emotions, whilst being pulled back and forth by the nurturing of a Christian background that did not prepare me to discuss or understand death in a meaningful way
I lost my dad last unexpectedly year. First close person I've lost. I struggled to grieve, but I don't think religion of any sort would have helped, I was just sad and needed to accept he is gone. Still hurts but I didn't need a pretend sky daddy to miss my real daddy 😢
I witnessed a terrible car accident a couple months back. When I went to check on the passengers one of them was in really bad shape. She unfortunately did not make it and I later learned she was only 19 years old. I was telling my aunt-in-law about it and her response was that her spirit was with me. It made me super uncomfortable because I wouldn’t want her stuck with a stranger. Religion can really bring the narcissistic side out of people sometimes.
I feel like telling people "you'll see them again in heaven" is essentially enabling them to never let go of that hope. Which sounds nice, but it could prevent them from doing the work of letting go and truly healing. It's just putting on blinders.
The fact that life must end one day is the reason we must live life to the fullest every day. A religious person has no reason to actually ever do anything cool in life because theyre too busy waiting for an afterlife that almost certainly will not happen.
Idk I always saw an afterlife as an epilogue after death, like a way to wrap up the story in a nice bow or a fitting punishment for an evil jackass that deserves it, rather than a goal to twiddle my thumbs and wait for. Because the life you're currently living is still life, and that's still worth doing something, experiencing and thriving for. Even if there's a hevan or hell, everything someone does affects someone, and i try to affect peke positively, regardless of if that will get me into heaven or not. Sorry for dumping all that on you btw.
Well said, Jake. I lost my uncle in the past couple months after a steady mental and physical decline, and while I know and accept the fact that he as a person is gone, he remains in the form of his loved ones' memories and stories of him. You could say the man lives on in the imagery of, among many other things, a deconstructed Jimmy Dean breakfast biscuit sizzling in a frying pan and topped with far too much cayenne. (and in the upcoming finally-officially-translated Ace Attorney Investigations 2 I guess, if only because I have no doubt the character formerly known as Raymond Shields via the fan translation will still insist on Edgeworth calling him uncle, making him "uncle Eddie" now... a bittersweet localization decision for me tbh)
The fact that theres nothing after we die is exactly why i make sure to live life to the fullest every day. Ive become a bit of an adrenaline junkie Ive ridden dirt bikes, built myown firearms, ridden vehicles on frozen lakes, im going skydiving soon, ive held every venomous spider barehanded, ive held a viper barehanded, ive gone cliff diving, climbed a waterfall with no ropes I wanna go on crazy adventures while i have the chance. Im not gonna waste my life in church hoping for some boring eternal church service in the afterlife. I dont wanna survive. I wanna LIVE.
Well, technically, atheist could believe in heaven, just no God. Atheism is just not believing or lack of belief in a God. Now, I understand that there's no evidence for heaven. All I'm saying is technically (though unlikely) an atheist could believe in an afterlife.
it’s an interesting thought that I think some atheists could benefit from. I think Buddhism is technically atheist for its lack of an overarching deity. The existence of a positive afterlife for all people would be the ideal in my eyes, but I’m not very hopeful
I got lucky having parents that weren't particularly religious so I only had to pretend like twice a year to make grandma happy. I wasn't really burdened with all that baggage I guess.
I work as a hospice nursing aide (trying to become an RN) because helping someone pass on to whatever happens after we die comforts me a lot. I'm an agnostic atheist and have some spiritual ideas. It's my way of being happy.
