PSA: we are no longer dating emotionally unavailable men 

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Married 9 years. What I know for certain…men who want to be there, will be there. You will never have to question your value, or your relationship. Something I learned: Until we heal ourselves from whatever attracted us to that wrong person, those traits will keep showing up with a different face.

Dating An Emotionally Unavailable Man Can Be Exhausting 😩 This Type of Man Will Drain You & Eventually Break You.

You are looking great. I am so proud of you. As someone who was married for 22years, its so obvious when a guy is emotionally unavailable. But sometimes we ladies refuse to acknowledge the red flag. We have to value ourselves enough not to let unavailable men keep you on a string. Cut that string and keep it moving. Well-done Breeny.

Most people aren’t emotionally unavailable they just don’t like you. Men move for the women they realky want

These broken men really should be going for counselling to get to the route of the problem instead of dating. By dating they only create more problems

I’ve literally dated emotionally unavailable men for the past two years 😯😯😯😯 that’s why I’m taking a year off from dating, so I can wholeheartedly focus on developing a healthy, balanced relationship with myself, I can learn how to identify trauma bonding, manipulation, or any other negative, toxic, relationship dynamic without sacrificing my soul and inner peace.

Imagine if us women were emotionally unavailable and as savage as all these hurt men are. Or if we had our guard up the way they do, We would probably have all guys chasing us and all over us. The law of attraction is a real thing. A man will have one bad relationship experience and never love again where's a woman can be hurt so many times and still reset and try again. That pisses me off.

Exactly! Stop forcing Men to be in a Relationship. If he says he doesn't want a Relationship. Move on!! Looking GREAT Breeny!

It's the worst thing when you really like someone who is emotionally unavailable, but the only thing you can do is walk away.

Dated an emotionally unavailable narc for 5 months and I will never do that again. It took me 2+ years to get over it because I lost myself completely trying to earn his affection and desire. Which never happened.

An emotionally unavailable man is a man that does not want you and does not see you as his wife period.He is only there for sex. If you are wondering if he really likes or loves you then he does not. When a man wants you, you will know and he will put all effort into pursuing you.

Ended my engagement one week ago because of these same reasons. I’m now grieving the plans I had for our future. I know the pain of staying is worse then what I’m feeling right now😢. Taking things one day at a time.

I feel like most people are emotionally unavailable in this modern world, we have become very selfish and self centred as a society. Not saying there aren't well balanced people out there but it takes a little more patience and perseverance to find them 🙉

You look so different sister❤ At this point, I’m not even thinking of entertaining any man anymore. Now they have to go through God to get to me. I’m at a point where I am entertaining God, myself and my career.

I was attracted to this kind of man because that’s how my father was. I’ve been healing from my trauma caused by my dad, and learning to fall in love with GOD, and myself.

Trying to help a broken man, you might get cut on the broken pieces. He must heal before entering a new relationship. Thanks for this wisdom Breeny well said ‼️🎯‼️💯‼️

I cut contact with a person because he wouldn't want to meet in 4 weeks after our first date, only good morning texts and "we should travel together". On weekends he would text at night how tired he is and goodnight. That's what unavailable is, and that guy isn't really into you, just keeps you as the last option.

sometime we confused emotional unavailability with a man just not liking you or wanting you enough. trust some men will be emotionally available when he meets the women he truly wants...

Girl preach! Just got out of a marriage like this. As soon as I told him I wasn’t having sex until it’s an overflow of emotional connection things got crystal clear. Constant disappointment and taking advantage of your empathy…if it weren’t for information like this we’d stay confused for way longer. Thank you!

I cried while watching this because my relationship with an emotionally unavailable man ended not too long ago. I still feel drained and empty. I gave sooo much and got nothing in return. I was everything he needed me to be but he couldn’t be there for me. Apparently, I was a ‘burden’. I was asking for too much. I’m now trying to heal and move on. I’m tired of getting hurt like this though. It’s so exhausting. Thank you Breeny. I really really needed this video❤

This is not an emotionally available man but a man who considers you a placeholder and not his dream girl …. Trust me when a man considers you his dream girl he will try again and again no matter how emotionally unavailable he may be , he will try to work through his emotional unavailability

A lot of the time men tell women the truth by showing us how they feel with their actions. That’s all we really need. The minute that you start acting out of character when “dating”, it’s time to call it a day ❤️

"The wrong person will bring the absolute worst in you". That hits hard and literally opened my eyes. Great video !

❗️‘That’s not intimacy, that’s offloading’ -Breeny Lee

That part about being a safe place to a man really resonated. I had someone I cared about a lot and the more I tried to be there, the worse he treated me. Shhiiiddd you gotta be your own peace!! 🥰

as women we also have to ask ourselves why we were attracted to emotional unavailability in the first place. a lot of the times you’d be surprised to find out it’s because we are emotionally unavailable as well in other areas in our lives.

Emotionally unavailable men are usually highly abusive. You want to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! And do it fast ! Don't let him catch up to you. He will destroy you. He wants to hold you HOSTAGE. Leave quickly. Don't announce it. Just go.

True. 10 years relationship for me, felt even lonelier than staying single. I was the "burden", the "stress" and my feelings were "dramas". Totally frustrated, left him for good and never look back.

Watching this video with my aunt and we are both screaaaaaaaming! All i can say is sis....you are doing the Lord's work. Thank u for another great upload.

Breeny, As of 6.39pm this evening, I was literally laying down, frozen, crying about this, its now just gone 10pm. I was crying because I let it happen to me again, I was there for someone emotionally in a relationship long term despite going through my own stuff-and they were not there for me when I needed them the most tonight. I don’t need a man to provide money, Housing, clothes,bills etc - and I finally thought he would be there for me emotionally -after 3 years of this-And he left me crying on the phone and hung up. No response after. I’m embarrassed to write this and post it but if it helps anyone to feel that they’re not worthless, they deserve better and helps them realise to not waste 3 years of their life for someone who wouldn’t do the same for you- then I’m keeping it up! I had just checked to see if you had uploaded any videos about 3/4 days ago but you hadn’t… Then, as I’m crying this evening I log onto RU-vid… And your videos in my feed ! ❤️ I feel blessed it was about the exact subject I’m going through🙏🏽 Thank you for making me feel less alone, realising I should be cared about but also making me realise I can’t keep doing this and I need to take accountability for my own actions in allowing this to happen to me in my long-term relationship. Repeatedly. Its on me.

Entertaining an emotionally unavailable man destroys you (speaking from experience… I’m still recovering months later). Great video Breeny - and you look amazing x

Being emotionnaly unavailable is some kind of mental illness. It comes from trauma and abandonnement during childhood. Those men are not criminals. They are sick people who need help.

You teaching girl! Their heart is somewhere else, point blank period that’s all you need to know to walk away. Do not attempt to find it. Be sober minded, always.

So tired of meeting emotionally unavailable men. The last one ripped my heart out earlier this year. Now I am focusing on me and living life to the fullest. Celebrating all closed doors.

GIRL. I just saw this video at the perfect time thankyou! I was just dealing with a man that had pretty much ALL the qualities of an emotionally unavailable man you describe. He was love bombing me within the first day, telling me he thought I was the one and that I was the perfect one for him and he’s never been with a woman like me and how he “doesn’t deserve” me, even planning trips with me within the next day of us hanging out and everything! He was even telling me about his toxic ex and how he was so hurt and traumatized by her and everything, now I know that it was just trauma dumping to get us to bond. 2 weeks go by and all of a sudden he’s canceled plans on me not ONCE, not TWICE, but 3 TIMES in the span of 2 days. I reach out to ask him what’s wrong and he tells me that it’s about his ex (🙄) and how she still has the key to his apartment???? Long story short, he starts telling me he was pushing me away and canceling plans to “protect me” so that he can “deal with her” and then he’ll “get back to me” essentially telling me to wait for him and basically telling on himself that he wasn’t at all ready for me. Even went to say that he was scared because we were developing feelings and he didn’t want to be attached fast. Can’t believe I was almost stupid enough to believe it, THANKYOU FOR THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART for making this video, he’s now blocked and deleted in the name of God! 🥹😂

I've postponed watching this video since it came out bc I knew I would hit too close to home and didn't want to accept the harsh truth that I've been wasting the last 6 months dating an unavailable man, but now I'm ready to let him go and I'm here to get all the strength I need to do it.

Excellent and very detailed video! Excellent reminder about : trauma dumping, taking, breadcrumbs, gaslighting and the feeing of the relationship being wably. It should be taught in schools! I would also add - stopping dating exclusively men that have not claimed the relationship and made their intentions clear. Keeping options open and building a rooaster of suitors will help keeping your discernement on and limit disappointment when confronted with reality. - not being physically intimate with men that have not pass the test of emotional availability/safety/reliability and commitment in tangible consistent actions. This also contributes to keeping your discernement on and bounce back faster if he happens to not be the one. All the best !

20:13 Please don’t sleep with these men… it will hurt them more. Be wise girls, by the 4th date you can really analyze and reflect if the man is emotionally available. An unavailable man will be inconsistent and will have difficulties to reach the 4th week because of all the excuses and lack of emotional support.

When we date emotionally unavailable men, we are emotionally unavailable ourselves.

This is the most well done summary of emotionally unavailable people and how they can really damage you! It took me a good deal of time to come to the major conclusion that you can't draw water from an empty well! Just leave it be and enjoy your fun, emotional life!

this video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. i just ended things with a guy I’ve been talking to since March for these EXACT REASONS!! the only thing is, I didn’t know it was because he was emotionally unavailable, but everyyy one of your points was who he was. my mind is blown. thank you for this confirmation ❤️❤️❤️

I’ve been married to one for 16 years and goodness knows I’ve lost myself so much I don’t even know who I am. I keep using the economy as an excuse I’m scared of the unknown but I gotta go. Seems like I’ll never experience life waiting for him to get a clue. What a loss for him cause I loved him like no other.

Love this video! I dated a specific unavailable man yesrs ago and he is exactly everything you described. The crazy thing was he knew he was emotionally unavailable and knew i was not happy but he would beg me time and time again to be available for him. And beg me to give him more chances to do pretty much nothing. I got off that roller coaster 3 years ago.

Breeny, I have been watching your videos since 2020 trying to find the motivation and strength to leave relationships that make me question my selfworth and stop dating men who use me for their own benefit, these videos I had on repeat for TWO YEARS finally made me open my eyes and Im finally free❤ the bar is no longer in hell, and I havent felt better about myself in a very very long time. Life feels so peaceful and I can expect great things for myself in the future so THANK YOU❤️❤️

Breeny Breeny Breeny!! This is why when I went to the UK in 2020, I made sure I saw you at one of ur events because you SPEAK FACTS. For one, the whole "be his peace" please preach to the choir!!! When men tell me that, I immediately get turned off and inside I'm rolling my eyes and saying "PLEASE STFU" 🤣🤣 Bc it really is BS. Meanwhile, they stress us out. Be our peace and we'll match it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Secondly " No one's ever too busy" THANK YOU!!!!!! Agree agree agree! Idc what you have going on in your life, people make time for who and what they want to make time for. Period! Another bs thing men love to say. I myself have been with so many emotionally unavailable men, and it's given me alot of heartbreak, anxiety and depression. I've learned to not waste any of my time anymore on men who show me that theyre arent emotionally available. It took time and hardships but I'm done with that. Thanks for this video. I adore you!!!!! ❤️🙏🏻

Wow, this couldn’t have come at a better time. I literally just ended things with a guy i was speaking to as he claimed to have feelings for me, yet he could not give me what I needed in regards to his time, effort etc. i was never going to wait around for him to change. But after ending things, I went straight to Google to find out if I was analysing his behaviour too deeply, and Google made me believe that my attachment type was “anxiously secure” 🙂 Watching this video has made me realise that I am NOT anxiously secure, I have a very secure attachment type, it’s just that the individual that I was dealing with was not emotionally available for me In the way that I wanted him to be, and that’s okay. Next!

I used to be soooo emotionally available and got hurt by men using my vulnerability against me. Now, if I am brutally honest with myself, I am the one emotionally unavailable, crazy afraid to be played and hurt again. At least I am aware of it! It's a healing process that I am grateful to be in. I truly believe that once I find that equilibrium between being way too emotionally available and not at all, I'll be a magnet to a man who is standing in that sweet spot too. ✨

Breeny you are 100% CORRECT!! I will never get involved with another emotionally unavailable man..ever again. It’s exhausting

I’m just mad that this video doesn’t have 1 million views, yet. Every young woman should hear this at least one time if I had heard this sooner, I would’ve avoided a lot of mistakes in my life.

I literally so glad I feel validated for the way I was treated in my past relationship. I would bring up issues and he would shred them up and tell me that he has been thru worse. Building myself back up is a challenge but we are working at it. Emotionally unavailable men also don’t have any hobbies besides working out or video games.

She’s not describing someone I’m dating….she’s describing my HUSBAND…soon to be ex because of some of the very reasons she talked about! 💔😢😔 I was afraid to listen to this when it popped up in my feed, but I’m glad I did because it confirms my decision.

Wow, this video was such an eye opener! I broke up with my ex about 4 months ago and all these things sounded like him to a T. I was so frustrated and hurt in the relationship, constantly blaming myself and thinking something was wrong with me 😅 but turns out he's just emotionally unavailable. Still hurts, but I know I did the best I could in the relationship.

I’ve just come out of a relationship with a man like this and I’ve realised the sex is the only thing I was holding onto! Really there’s no chemistry there except sex. He’s got a new women now and they’re already toxic, fighting all the time, he’s cheated on her with me behind our back….he’s a broken, insecure man looking for someone to heal him when the only person that can do that is himself. This video has brought me understanding and peace, I’m not the problem he is!

"Know your worth and than add tax"... I swear emotionally unavailable men cannot meet the requirements it takes for our love and time 🍵🐸🥰🥰😘 One more time, "know your worth and then add tax"~ og breezy lee xxx

I'm starting my healing journey by prioritizing how I am feeling and getting more in tune with myself. Loving and accepting every part of my being. And not taking in anything less because I am way more deserving than that. I am a smart, capable woman who is not defined by only beauty, but by my authenticity. I will no longer be dating emotionally unavailable men or men who are toxic. My 2022 was hectic and chaotic for me, due to an ending I've had with man who was the biggest red flag. But now that I am only reflecting through mistakes in my past, it will help me evolve and become the best version of myself.

This video couldn’t have came at such a perfect time. This is exactly what I’m experiencing, I’m starting to loose myself through the process.

I always come back to breeny to wake up from trash men, yesterday the guy I've been dating for a month tried to hit me because he said he was jealous I ran away from him. Thank you breeny because I have followed you for quite a while and you made me know what's good for me. PS: this guy was perfect until yesterday and I broke up with him via text message because I was too scared he'll beat me

7:17 this is so true! I’ve been there in my last relationship and I even felt confused like what’s going on? Why there’s so much inconsistency, broken promises, distance etc. and the answer is emotional unavailability ❌ and they truly can’t give you what you need!! It’s a no goer. Thanks for sharing such valuable info with us! ❤

Love this topic! _Mr. Unavailable & the Fallback Girl_ is an awesome resource on this. It helped me see that there was a level of emotional unavailability in me that kept me attracting emotionally unavailable men. I was used to being the fixer, always saw the relationship through rose-colored glasses and was completely fine with long-distance relationships. This book and the follow up _The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship_ were game changers in helping me see my own patterns in relationships. Highly recommend 👌🏾

OMG. What a timing. Just kicked out of my life the most unavailable man a month ago. 2 years of madness. That fool has asked me to meet in a club a month ago at night and he flaked on me. He did even showed up. This was it for me. Bye bye. Thank you Breeny.

Wow, Couldn’t been a better time to drop this video.. Just went through something the other day with an emotionally unavailable men & to be honest was getting down on myself hard, I’m glad I watched this video so I have more of an understanding that’s it’s not me.. it’s him! Thank you Breeny ❤✨

Out of all the emotionally unavailable videos I’ve watched this is the most spot on! Like FR! Every single thing is true. I dated an emotionally unavailable man for two months and it was two months too long. I felt drained for those two months. It’s been a month and I am still recovering. I’m so focused on myself and my future but he left a terrible taste in my mouth! This video is spot on sis! Thank you and have a wonderful day you beautiful beautiful soul ❤

"When you try and help a broken man, you will cut your fingers on the broken pieces" Word💯

When I tell you this video was right on time !!!!!!! i got rid of 3 in one week. I’m through !!!!. I deserve more. These boys be bugging.

I just got out of a 3 year relationship with an emotionally unavailable man. Now he’s with another woman long distance because it’s more convenient for his avoidant ways. I was screaming “f*** yea, right!?” In the car while listening to this. This is all correct! 😂❤

You look amazing.😍😍 I dated emotionally unavailable men for years. Then I realized I was also emotionally unavailable as well. It was easy for me to hide behind chasing them.

Men will do the most to get you. But once they get you they get comfortable and don’t put the effort into the relationship anymore while wanting you to do the most. No. You will get all these excuses making it seem like there is a good reason for their unavailability, E.g. working and chasing money… but your partner and family is just as important and worth putting effort into. At the end of the day, your family will be what you need when all is said and done… not all these other material things.

Love the weight loss on you Sis!! Absolutely gorgeous before and after!!

Breeny, I wish this video was released months ago before I invested my time and love into an emotionally unavailable man… it broke me and I’m still healing from it but I learned the lessons from it. I’m not settling for breadcrumbs anymore.

SO GOOD 👏🏻 I married an emotional unavailable man… it made me the neediest, emptiest “wife”. Ladies beware!!!

Your video made me cry because I'm going through a "mini break-up" as well from an emotionally unavailable man who totally played me and depleted me of everything I had. Your words are so comforting and I finally feel validated. Thank you for all the advice Breeny... you are helping so many of us!!

one thing bout breeny lee.. she is going to PREACH 👏🏽 i’m only 25 but I learn so much from you. THANK YOU 🙏🏽

Honestly one of the best videos you've ever made

I can’t even express how much I needed this today. It’s as if you and I have been speaking recently. Thank you so much. 💗

Girl woooooow!!! This was so good and spot on with a situation I WAS dealing with, he has been cut off but everything you said was spot on this was gem! Thank you

Girl, this was absolutely amazing. You hit those points and made it so crystal clear. Thank you!

Oh my god Ms Breeny you are FIERCE in every way!!!! So excited to listen to your wise words and I’m already resonating with the message

Watching your videos makes me feel like I’m getting advice from the older sister I never had🥰 love you Breeny!!

I love everything about this video! The energy, the humor, the expressions, the facts! You are too much!

You ATE THIS TOPIC!!! ❤ I had a lot of mind blowing connections.

You look amazing Breeny!! Quality video as always!! ❤

Girl!!! I needed to hear this. I literally just ended things with an emotionally unavailable man, and you described everything so perfectly!!! I feel sad, but I love and respect myself more and deserve so much more.

Looking gorgeous, snatched and radiant Breeny❤️❤️

Hi Breeny. Love this topic. It really resonated with me. Thank you for bring it up & to remind us women to no longer settle with those unavailable men! You look gorgeus babe!

I want my life to be up up up because I’ve been down down down for years

Congratulations Breeny over 700K, Lady Your Level Is Up 🎉🎉🎉💃💃💃🎉🎉🎉

Listening to you in the morning is such a blessing Breeny. Thank you for this video💜

This is so ACCURATE! Ur so wise for your years! Congratulations on ur weight loss, healing and 700K baby 🎉

You look amazing Breeny! Love this video❤️

Welcome back GORGEOUS! You definitely don’t look like what you been through!! ❤ missed listening to you! OMG! You just basically describe someone I been talking to for 5 weeks. I cut him off, he calls and says, “hi stranger” 🤡 ….. Glad I didn’t invest to much time or energy. Love you Breeny! ❤

Breeny this was the best description of relationships with narcissists. I had the same relationship with my narcissist friend and sister. They are blocked now!

Girl the glow is real💃🏾 You look great and it’s not just the exterior…. Thank you for your transparency and relatability ❤God bless 🙏🏾🫶🏾

Well said Breeny! Too often we women fail to see some red flags and we just jump head first into these types of relationships

Girl you are the truth, extremely gifted. All these signs I've seen in this man I was dating recently. He was so cold and hard on the inside. He constantly spoke about his horrible relationship with his parents. His only care was about making money.

Thank you for this video cos I have been in this situation for almost two weeks, immediately I saw this notification I knew it was the universe telling me to call it quit. Thank you

This video is ON POINT. Very well explained. Been there, done that.

I needed this épisode soooo bad !!! Bisous de Paris ❤

Breeney, you're making time for people who don't deserve it! You're way more precious than you think

I turned 20 2 months ago and you are legit the older sister or aunty I’ve never knew I needed but so so glad I have! Thank you Breeny for your content! It really saves me from myself sometimes! I can be very self destructive.. I love you and your content! You’re beautiful! Thankful for all you do!