Psychology of a Hero: LEGO BATMAN and Narcissism 

Dick: “My name is Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me ‘Dick’” Bruce: “Well, children can be cruel” 🤣

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make that change." I love how this lyric is the underlying message of this story, and how Batman tries to attribute the quote to himself.

“Brave is accountability. It’s humble accountability. Brave is ‘I don’t need to pass on the blame if something goes wrong; I can take responsibility for it.’” I needed to hear this. Thanks Jono.

I feel like a lot of people see one trait of narcissism and label the whole person a narcissist. For example, my sister is always calling our dad a "narcissist" because he's really bad at taking criticism unless it's worded in a very specific way and is packaged in a compliment sandwich. However, he doesn't feel entitled to company, or attention, or praise. He's good at giving space and respecting boundaries, he just can't be directly criticized. He has narcissistic _tendencies,_ but that doesn't make him a full-blown narcissist. I feel like not enough people get the difference.

The LEGO movies are the ultimate answer to the question "what happens when a silly idea is turned into a movie with nothing but love for the craft and the source material?"

Alfred is the best batman character. Fight me. Seriously though in just about every iteration Alfred really isn't just a butler. He IS the surrogate father, friend, and confidant To much of the Bat-family not just Bruce. He literally the true hero in Batman

Jono's comment about mental disorders being things everyone experiences dialed up to 11 is... so important in this day and age. There's such a tendency online to label people as narcissists, borderlines, etc willy nilly and it's harmful. It makes people think that the indicator of mental illness is the PRESENCE of a thought pattern, instead of an abnormal intensity of one. Jono articulated this distinction very succinctly and I thank him for it.

I love the not so subtle jab at Suicide Squad. “Get a bunch of criminals together to fight the criminals, that’s a stupid idea.” Also Killer Croc doing something.

LEGO Batman is arguably unironically the best Batman movie ever made (personally I’d put The Batman ahead of it but until that released it held the title). There’s such a clear love for the source material and so much passion that went into the story that even though it pokes fun at Batman mercilessly you can tell they have the utmost respect for the character and the world. Also, my favorite joke in the movie is that scene in the beginning where Joker is getting through listing the villains he’s teaming up with and he gets to the d-list villains like Kite Man, Calendar Man, and the Condiment King. The pilot just says “Okay, are you making some of those up?” but Joker replies “Nope, they’re all real.” Not only is the interaction hilarious, but the fact that they thought to put the D-listers that practically no one knows about in there just shows how much effort went into this film.

Daughter of a narcissist mom. I gave up hope and walked away. But truth is I struggle with carrying her inside my head and I'm always scared of my learned behaviors.

I love that you address both sides of loving a Narcissist. - It isn't wrong to try and 'stick it out' if you can find your own boundaries and make it work IF that is what you want and can do so healthily. Not everyone wants to cut ties and they shouldn't be pressured into doing so if they genuninely want to keep those ties intact. - It also isn't wrong to distance oneself or cut ties entirely if its too much. Ones own mental health and wellbeing come first and no one should have to put up with this.

I really appreciate the non-demonizing of npd from cinema therapy and Lego Batman. There's so much justified hate towards npd/narcissista bc narcissists can hurt others terribly but there is no solution is made by demonizing them-after all, the ones who are a part of a narcissist's recovery are fellow people. Narcissism sucks but people with narcissism still has a right to recovery.

YESSSSSS LEGO BATMAN LET’S GO, can we appreciate Jono and Alan’s choice of films? Top tier

I love the contrast of an earnest assessment against the hallucinogenic fever dream that is the Lego movies. 😍

Im so glad you guys made this video! I’m in therapy for my pathological narcissism (went for depression, uncovered the npd stuff) and learning to stabilise my own self-esteem, self-soothe in difficult situations and be self-compassionate has helped me so much to meet my own needs. So now, I’m pretty much able to put down my own boundaries and respect the ones other people express, now that I know and respect my own needs. There’s definitely hope for people like us, we just need to not dehumanise ourselves, be willing to express vulnerabilities, and seek the similarities between ourselves and others, and not grasp onto feelings of ‘being special’. Also, lots of therapy is ideal!

Lego Batman's line to Alfred where he's like "What do you know about having a surrogate son?" Cuts so deep, it broke my little heart in the theatre. You see the pain and horror on Alfred's face, but at the same time, you know he can't really chastise Batman about it, because he is in a subservient role. Lego Batman was pretty great, I like the original Lego Movie more, but it was a pretty good follow up.

"Why start a family animated Lego kids movie with a heavy metal rap power ballad?" I think that's an easy one tbh: The people who were into that music at the time are now the parents taking their kids to see this film 😉

I like how these kinds of film (and media) don't come across as something you'd feature on a show such as this, but stories of all kinds, even when they seem "silly," can carry so much meaning! ❤

fully serious, the lego batman movie is one of the reasons i realized i have npd (or at least, a lot of npd traits). i saw (and still do see) so much of myself in batman, specifically lego batman. it’s to the point that my friends and family even call me batman sometimes in a silly way because it makes me happy to find comfort in relating to him and because they see our similarities, too. i really appreciate how you didn’t necessarily demonize those who have npd in this video and encourage the fact that it’s not something that instantly makes someone abusive! something that made me didn’t think i would be a narcissist was the fact that i wasn’t an abusive evil person that society pushes narcissism to be. you can have npd and care about people, like how batman cared so much about his family. you can have npd and have good relationships, even if it takes hard work, like how we see batman’s relationship with his new family start to grow. this movie is something important to me, not only because it’s so cleverly humorous and has stunning animation, but because it gave me hope for myself to grow as a person and defy what so many people may say about how a narcissist can never change and only acts one certain way. thank you guys so much for this video! and fun fact, this movie was released on my birthday too so that makes it extra special to me =) batman, lego, and specifically will arnett have all been longstanding interests of mine so this movie has always felt specifically catered to me lol

I love that you guys promote healing from negative behaviors rather than villainizing the people struggling with issues like this. Always love your videos! I'd love to see your ideas on the anime movie Bubble :D

I remember seeing this at cinemas with an ex. I am a Marvel boy at heart but loved the Lego Movie so I wanted to both score a 2nd date with her and see the movie. So when Joker started naming each. And. Every. Single. Enemy. In the film and she asked me 'are these guys real, like do they actually exist in the comics' and I went, eyes tightly shut and with barely constrained laughter 'yup, every one of them is real', I realized I am way more of a DC fan than I previously thought.

As you said in the Lockhart video, most Narcissists are relatively harmless until you challenge their self image. Then they are the most dangerous people in the world. And that's why it's so hard for them go get help. Also, I'd say when Batmans healing starts is when he admits that he needs to put seat belts in his Bat Mobile, because it was the first time he admitted he was wrong.

At a certain point in my life I was terrified of being a narcissist to the point where I legitimately thought saying anything positive about myself was being selfish I thought if I except praise or give myself praise I was a narcissist I even went through this fake suicidal thing I never actually did anything it was just a bunch of empty threats but I think the mentality I was going through was if I believe I’m worthy of life then I’m being selfish luckily thanks to friends and family and some therapy I’m much better now

"Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do." This is such a fascinating quote, especially when you look at another Batman character, Harley Quinn. What got her to finally break things off with the Joker is she realized no matter what Joker says to her, his actions will always prove he only cares about Batman. So in her case, she (and her friends like Poison Ivy) realized that Joker was an obssessive narcissist and decided that they couldn't have a healthy, intimate relationship.

The funny thing about Lego Batman is he's a parody of what other parodies think Batman is... in fact this movie reminds me of a lot of Lego Batman stop-motion videos that used to be on RU-vid. It's kind of like how every Superman parody is about "what if Superman was actually a jerk", which... kinda misses the point of Superman? which was to say "but what if someone had powers but used them for good?" Essentially parodies of Batman and Superman always miss the fact that the characters themselves were meant to subvert expectations -- Superman says "power doesn't have to corrupt, you could still do good with it" and Batman says "money doesn't have to corrupt, you could still do good with it."

I'd love it if you ever wanted to talk about the anger and the need for revenge as well as the abandonment issues of the character of Jason Todd AKA the Red Hood in the incredible DC film Batman: Under the Red Hood.

"Darkness, brooding, no parents!" lives rent free in my head thanks to Will Arnett. And Frank Miller's in the corner going, "Awww, but *I* came up with that concept!"

Watching this after their 1M livestream and knowing how angry they both are at having to film this for the THIRD time, it makes this so much more enjoyable, lmao. all of the sadness in Alan's face makes so much sense, and I really really feel it

If you ever get around to including shows and series in your videos, I would love to see you react to Arcane, specifically Jinx, and the portrayal of her psychosis/schizophrenic tendencies and PTSD. It would be interesting to see both opinions on the mental health side and the filmmaking aspect on how it portrays such mental illness(es). Great video!

Lego Batman got way too much flak. It's amazing and campy and ridiculous, and the most caricature, true, vision of batman and superhero films. All wrapped in a hilarious film that kids can watch.

Gotta say how glad I am that you guys got into NPD. As the daughter of a narcissistic dad, it was nice to hear a more... honestly, I would say more hopeful point of view. Everyone keeps saying "narcissists never change, there is no hope for him, just move on" or I get people like relatives on his side who only see how me and my sibs and mom moved out and don't visit him and say "what kind of daughter are you for abandoning him, don't hold such a grudge over such little things, you as a follower of God need to forgive him or you will go to hell" Just a lot of ignorant people who refuse to understand that this is more serious than many know. Until you live with someone like that, look to that person for unconditional love that you need parents for in the early years of your life, you will never truly grasp what kind of pain and life-long suffering that can cause. I still struggle with the reprecussions of his actions and words even at the age of 28 and after cutting ties over 5 years ago now. Yet, while people may think I hate him or that I'm being selfish or holding a childish grudge, I do love him dearly and pray daily for him to finally reflect and realize that he needs help. Three theripists and none of them could help him either, some even having to quit working with him. He just turned 70 and my relatives asked if my sis and I would like to attend that surprise party they were throwing for him. Yes, because as someone who loves him and knows he needs help but won't get any and blames you for all of it, I want to go "celebrate" 70 years of life that has hurt so many people and is now painfully alone. Literally, the scenes where Batman is alone in his big Manon, that is 100% my dad now in the big house he nows lives in all alone. By his own choice, because we are the ones who are wrong. Anyways, sorry. I guess you guys nailed it by saying how this movie isn't as funny to someone who cares about someone with NPD. Makes sense to me now why I never really liked it, even though I love Lego movies. Kinda just makes me sad. So, thanks guys for that part at 22:14(I think) and how you talk about being the person caring about them. It does help validate my difficult choice to cut ties with my dad, no matter how much I didn’t want to. You are right, you cannot keep letting someone hurt you like that. As someone raised with the "biblical" words of always forgiving, I now understand that forgiving does not mean letting people hurt you, and it certainly does not mean you support negative behaviors by enabling them. Because of how much I love my dad, I will not give him the power to hurt me. That way, lord willing he finally comes to the light, he will have less to struggle in fixing on that uphill climb and I can be in a better, healthier place where I can support him without the past hurt getting in the way and while also knowing how to keep boundaries. Sorry, I lose myself when writing, especially personal stuff. The gift and curse of being a writer, I guess. 😅 I hope at least anyone who reads it can know that they are not alone here and get a little support and encouragement. Have a blessed day! And thank you for all you guys do, Jonathan and Alan. Know that this young woman is always so grateful and encouraged by every single video you do. I love this channel and I would like to believe I am learning a lot to build my skills in healthy relationships now that I have escaped my toxic and abusive background. Thank you and I look forward to the next one!

I really like this analysis. I think people forget that narcissists are 1) people too, and 2) victims of their own mental prison. They need help just like anyone else and are deserving of a true deep connection with someone, something many are missing. A lot of personality disorders are so heavily stigmatized, but they are people, just like everyone else, needing the same things we all do. Love, care, safety, ect. Idk my sister in law has BPD and it took my brother treating her like a human for her to be able to recognize her faults and be willing to get help, and so seeing personality disorders be humanized is so important to me.

I saw this film in a movie theater on my first date at 16, it was also one of the worst dates I’ve ever been on. So I’m excited to make new positive memories with this film through your wonderful commentary! This film is amazing btw

A timely, important video! As usual the Internet Dads hit it out of the park. My father is a narcassist, and he has tormented me and my family for more than thirty years. Screaming, hollering, threatening. He's never done anything wrong, he's always correct, we are all ungrateful horrible bad women that will one day be punished. He did go to "therapy" for a bit--he went to his pastor, who told him he was acting as a good Godly man, and it was our fault for challenging his authority. Narcassism is squeezing the life out of our society, and I appreciate you calling attention to it! Great vid!

I love the fact that when Robin tries to "go it alone" he changes into a costume called "Nightwing" which was the superhero name that Dick actually changed it to after he decided that he wants to become a superhero in his own right. I love the attention to details that this movie has

As a huge Batman fan, I'm very closed-off to the idea of making a narcissistic Batman, but I absolutely adore the Lego Batman's approach. I'd say (besides the DKT) it's one of the best Batman movies. Also.. I just want to say that it's not all narcissism Lego Batman is controlled by. He doesn't detach himself from people just because he loves himself, but because he's afraid to love and lose someone again. When you're hurt that deeply, it becomes a lifestyle of staying detached physically and emotionally from everyone-- which is a lot similar to the real life Batman movies. I went through the same thing. Eventually deep loss, when let go too long, turns into "I don't need anyone", which turns into narcissism. Sorry, I'm a huge nerd about this stuff.

I think to call narcissist insecure is an understatement given how common insecurity is, though of course it varies in severity. For the more moderate to severe case, they have utterly debilitating low self esteem and self loathing. They think they are the worst, and they are terrified of what will happen if anyone else realises that, so they over compensate to make themselves out to be the absolute best. The appearance of high self esteem is a hollow cover, nothing more. The lack of empathy is down to two things; one, they are utterly consumed by their own issues, always on guard and maintaining their mask. And two, (with varying degrees of severity of course) deep down they see every other person as a threat, there are no true friends, no true allies, no one in their court in their mind (a milder case may be only "sort of" friends" or "mostly allies" with that clause that says "if they see all of me that will break"). In their perception, literally anyone who looks under their mask will see them as worthless, or even as worthy of only contempt, and will abandon them or worse, turn on them. That narcissism often makes this a self fulfilling prophecy due to narcissistic abuse only makes this worse (but please, if abuse from a narcissist gets too much, do not hold onto a narcissist in your personal life to try and counter this, they can do so much harm and if they are a severe enough case you staying may cause them to get worse and worse, as they attempt to subconsciously prove their fears right (they are on some level waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop)).

I admit I relate a lot to this interpretation of Batman, because as a kid, while I never got diagnosed, I think I had a lot of unhealthy narcissistic traits. Everything had to be about me, I had to win every game, I had to win every argument, I had to be the one in charge, and if anyone tried to call me out on it, I'd flip out in a rage-tantrum. Part of this probably was a defense mechanism from all the verbal bullying I received as a young child from peers (it was the 90s), so rather than letting their words beat me down, I put up walls and started behaving like a bully myself in the hopes that I could make everybody back off. The whole "If I can't be respected for who I am, I'll make myself feared" thing. Two things eventually shook me out of it. One was the fact that I was noticing my tactics never worked, they just empowered the other bullies and got me in trouble, and two is consequences. Not going to go into detail, but I was shown a very mild taste of what being forced to live in a group home/camp was like, and that shook me to my core. I knew at that point I needed to change just to avoid ending up like a thug someday. And while I still have a ego, I always try to check myself when my head starts to inflate. I make my ego answer to me rather than letting it govern me.

My mom's partner has undiagnosed narcissism, whenever he makes a mistake he always tries to find a scapegoat (usually me) to avoid responsibility, when anyone else makes a mistake its their mistake and they need to be blamed for it, and so many things that should have been nothing issues have been made into huge problems, amplified when he drinks, leading to a house culture of avoiding talking about problems around him because its just not worth the headache. He has done some improvement, but it wasn't of his own initiative, but when he went too far. Since I am his scapegoat, his is critical of everything I do and don't do, he's critical of how I do them. This culminated in one incident where I was helping bringing groceries in, and he got up in my face because of the route I used to bring certain things in, mostly because I was avoiding the dogs and not giving them a chance to escape. I was finally fed up with it all and walked out of the house (didn't even pack anything) bellowing at the top of my lungs 'I can't stand living like this anymore, I can't live with this fucking hypocrite anymore'. It was very cathartic to say, but more than that, it apparently cut him pretty deep. Because, according to my mom, after I left he asked her if he really was a hypocrite, and she told him 'yes he was'. He apparently spent most of the night in his man cave or watching the tv, not talking, for the first time my criticism of him had actually hit. Since then he has improved, he's not better or fixed, but he is trying not to be that guy anymore, and he has stopped the worst of his actions towards me and others.

For the longest time I though that maybe I was the selfish narcissist, although after seeking more info about it, I realized I was victim of many narcissists in my life that were always guilt tripping me into everything and telling how horrible I was for not agreeing with what they said...... And when I realized that have no problems receiving criticism and not trying to fight back arguments, in a way, made me feel relieved...

As a survivor, I watch Doctor Ramani's videos every day. I'm so extatic that you mentioned her. To everyone watching.. I highly recommend DoctorRamani's channel. Also the NPD breakdown of the lego batman, is spot on!

So the LEGO "not-motion-blur" thing is animation smears. They're the in-between shots that have elongated proportions or multiple copies to show the movement when doing frame-by-frame animation (such as with hand-drawn cels or, as in this case, LEGO). And like the little imperfections, bits of dust, fingerprints, etc., it's one of those things that really make this feel like it was stop-motion instead of computer-generated. My favorite smear in a LEGO movie is still from the first LEGO Movie, with Benny building his spaceship. It's just a solid wall of bricks in the right colors and vaguely right shapes.

As the child of two Narcissists, its so hard sometimes. My father is completely beyond hope, I cut ties with him 20 years ago. My mom on the other hand, there’s so much inconsistency, sometimes it seems like maybe she’s getting better, and then of course there will be moments when I’m 99% sure I’m going to have to go No Contact with her too. Its a daily struggle (especially bc my mom and I live together bc she’s partially disabled). Trying to introduce boundaries without her going ballistic that I’m refusing to be treated badly by her has been a nightmare and a half. I’ve come to terms that this is probably always how it will be, and that our relationship will always be a struggle and exhausting to some degree. But I do love her very much and I really do not want to give up on the idea of having a functional relationship with her, because her Narcissism stems from decades of unresolved trauma and abuse. It doesn’t excuse or make ok what she’s done to me, and other people, but it is easier to have compassion, knowing that fact. My mom will probably never get professional help (although I do think it would help her immensely, and I hate to see her struggle as much as she does because she pushes everyone away) but if I can get as far as her respecting the healthy boundaries that I need, then I can live with that.

My dad is a diagnosed narcissist, and when I was a kid I never really noticed it. As I got older, pretty much all of the things said stood out to me. My dad doesn’t like taking criticism My dad does tend to jump in and try to control the situation But he’s a diagnosed narcissist because he’s sought help, and the other stuff that was mentioned in this video doesn’t stand out to me as much. I love my dad, and he means a lot to me. This video was so important to me and my daily life, and I wanna thank you guys for talking about narcissism in…not a POSITIVE light, but not a stereotypical way like it’s usually seen as.

Can we get Wolfwalkers therapy for their portrayal of children reacting to oppressive environments

I have a genuine love for this movie and am very glad it's getting the attention it deserves for its character writing. Like it's a hilarious movie but they didn't have to go /so hard/ on the amazing writing as well, I love it.

My first thought seeing "Lego Batman" in Cinema Therapy was "what?" But Jono and Alan's movie choice was spot on as usual, and also a through examination about narcissism. Thank you!!

I was hoping you guys would include more of Batman's speech to Joker in the beginning! I remember watching this for the first time and saying out loud "Holy sh*t that's the MEANEST thing I've ever heard one film character say to another". Absolute perfect place to start for you to be able to see his growth.

Batman: You disobeyed me! You're on a timeout! Alfred, No, Batman, YOU'RE on a timeout! Batman: What?! Alfred, you better un-timeout me right now! Alfred: No! Not until you un-timeout Master Dick!

Only you two could make a mental health video from LEGO Batman, and I love you for it...also, I needed “Na-na-na-na SURF SHARK!” today, thank you.😂♥️

That bit towards the end about how it's ok to love someone AND cut ties with them describes my relationship with my dad damn near perfectly, and it's so validating. He has never admitted to any hurt he caused me, and I'm the bad guy for keeping him at arms length. Thanks, guys, for validating that I'm not the world's worst daughter.

someone needs to make a compilation of every time alan thanks an actor for being amazing because he does it every video

My sister after being to therapy and being diagnosed with npd inviting me to a vacation in her city for 5 days yelling it me while I have a break down from all the bashing I had to endure since I was there constant blaming whenever I tried to talk with her about it:" I'VE BEEN TO THERAPY! I DID MY WORK! NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!" It took two attempts to make her respect my request of minimal contact. I hope to have good contact with her again but for that I have to see that she respects my boundaries and will give me space in case I'm in need of such.

Thank you for this one. My brother has always been so horrible to my family and I learned from your Lockhart narcissism video that he is a narcissist. This one really hit it on the head though. All of your videos are therapeutic, but this one is what I needed.

I appreciate Alan saying that he feel uncomfortable because he may display these narcissistic traits. It is easy to get defensive at times like this and it helps people like me realise that admitting to these flaws no matter how big is not the end but a step to self improvement.

As someone who has potentially 3 narcissists in her family and tends to be a magnet for people with this kind of behavior, I wanted to take a quick moment to thank you guys for doing what you're doing. I discovered your channel through your Loki video and your videos (especially the ones covering narcissism) have been very helpful to me. Thanks to your insights, I have a better understanding of why they do what they do and with each video I feel more valid that it is okay to maintain boundaries with them and have been able to get on a path of healing. Thank you for that. You're doing amazing work with these channels and it is greatly appreciated.

I absolutely love the parallels between Batman and Bojak Horseman besides the amazing voice acting by Arnett!

Alan talking about how amazing the animation is reminds me of that feeling I got when I first saw spiderman into the multiverse and I couldn't deal with the beauty half way through and needed to have a cup of tea and lie down before I could finish it.

Dr Ramani saved my life. The universe put her in front of me right when a relationship that had been emotionally abusive got bad enough for me to realize it wasn’t salvageable. He’s not a full-blown narcissist but he definitely has BPD and it reads a lot like N when he suddenly decides I’m terrible. Having her videos gave me a framework to use when I told my therapist what was going on. Not sure I would have found it on my own!

Love Jonathan's confident "Yes." after Allen said "I need therapy...?"

Also this movie got Dick Grayson right. Robin always wanting to impress batman and his joyful attitude in contrast to Batman's brooding

You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you reference Dr. Ramani! Her videos have had a huge role in helping me recover from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse!

Jono mentioned Dr. Ramani.She’s really amazing, I’m also watching her. I’m on Alan’s side if it comes to that a narcissist can change.

I have 2 narcissist parents. My father became kinder and more empathetic (through the lense of "I'm God's chosen and must care for those lesser than me") after his schizophrenic break. I have a relationship with him despite his abusive past because he's apologized and recognized how he hurt me in the past). I don't want to get into his past but he was basically the bad dad with a slick salesperson mask when he went out in the world. However, my mother has never once recognized how she hurt me and accused me of being the abuser when I've had to defend myself, even physically. I went no contact with her after she told me I deserved my 3 miscarriages because I was a bad daughter and didn't call her weekly (she hadn't even called me for my birthday for 2 years. We only talked the times I called.) She abuses everyone around her until they eventually leave and honestly believes everyone who leaves is a bad person and that her behavior has nothing to do with it. So I guess I've gotten both sides of how a narcissist can go. No one believed me growing up because they were so good at pretending to be the likeable adults.

What a coincidence; I was just thinking of watching this movie again. It's one of my top three Batman... Batmen? Batmans? Bruce Waynes.

I know it's probably an unpopular opinion, but I would love to see you guys do a psychology analysis of The Doctor from Doctor Who.

I love how Alan is losing his mind over relatively simple concepts in the CG industry. It's great to see someone appreciate the same things that I do.

I love the quick throwaway line, "Getting a team of criminals to FIGHT the criminals? That's a stupid idea."

My husband and I watched this movie first as a date movie and then as a movie with the squad three days later because it's just that good! We're convinced that this is, objectively, the best Batman movie ever created!

I have never seen this movie, but i like how they managed to balance the comedy with the batman problem. i didn't think i would see a lego movie talking about someone's narcissism.

Lego did Batmetal before Batmetal was a thing. Such a beautiful scene Alfred changing into a Batman costume himself and saying "I miss the 60's" was bloody on point. The humour and references are done so perfectly

Alan, I'm so glad you vocalized your discomfort because I was getting really concerned about you! I'm sure Jonathan has already eased your mind, but I just want to say that the fact that you are capable of such self-reflection, acknowledging that what you see is less than perfect, and getting worried that your behavior may be hurtful to others means you are far from having NPD ❤️

I was kinda hoping to see a video on the Lego movie and the message was individuality and conformity, but I love your guy’s videos regardless

Alan: I might be a narcissist Also Alan: *genuinely cries at like 70% of the movies they watch* Me: ... I think you're okay there, chief. 🤣

The lego batman is unironically one of my favourite movies; it's funny, the dialogue is great, the fight scenes are pretty cool, it's nostalgic, and it actually teaches you things

26:20 this part hit me right in the heart. My biological mother is very likely a narcissist and it took me years to come to terms with that and even longer to figure out what to do with that when I still love her but can barely be around her. I've had to bite back the desire to just tell her how much she's hurting me and my brother because I know there's no way I can phrase it that she'll actually hear and I've lost hope that she'll ever get help and get better. My brother's ignoring his own needs to maintain the relationship with her and I keep going back and forth between missing her and blocking her on all of my socials. I think I held out hope too long, and am retroactively trying to come back from that now. Thank you both so much for all you do. Your videos - and this one in particular - have meant the world to me.

Unexpected but really cool choice! I would love to see an episode based on challenging motherhood/parenting - Wolf Children would be a great one to watch

There will never not be a month where I don't rewatch this absolute masterpiece of a movie the cinematography the jokes the characters all 10/10 🥱😔 truly a movie ahead of its time😤💅🙏😰🤧

Always love your videos! Was just thinking of a video idea for you two, Ratatouille! After he's gone through the trauma of losing his family and home, he starts imagining Gusteau talking to him and giving him advice and as a person to talk with to work things out, and then once he feels more secure at the end of the movie, he disappears! I would love to hear your take on that as a survival/coping mechanism.

As someone who watches these with the captions on, I LOVED the “Best-At-Tears Alan” name!!!!

Alan geeking out over all the animation details is everything

Nice to see the shout out to Dr. Ramani. Her videos are incredibly helpful for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Highly recommend.

This one really spoke to me. I'm not a full-blown narcissist, but I have some narcissistic tendencies made worse by my anxiety disorder. I've been going to therapy for 7 years, and I've only really started challenging some of my more narcissistic worldviews and attitudes in the last 3 or 4. I still struggle on an almost-daily basis to not get in fights with people who try to be affirming and supportive of people for their imperfections, but what's important (as my therapist reminds me weekly) is that I've become able to have that struggle rather than just acting on my defensiveness and my fear of imperfection being okay. And I know this could very well be only my own experience or at least a distinct minority, but the fear of imperfection can metastasize into a belief that self-loathing is a necessary component of self-improvement. And if there's anyone else out there who feels that way, even though I'm screaming at myself internally for writing this, I just want to say: it's not. It just makes it harder to actually change, because you become as afraid of genuine confidence as you are of imperfection, and the only way out becomes conquering both of those fears. I know from experience. I'm not yet far enough on the path to say whether it can get better and go away over time, but I can say that you can learn to manage it. I've already made the first two steps: recognizing my behavior as unhealthy (even if I sometimes struggle to understand why) and trying to rein it in. I can't say I have any idea where to go from here or how, but that doesn't mean I'm stuck forever. I know there's a path forward, I just need to figure out how to traverse it. TL;DR: narcissism sucks for everyone involved

I really like the concept that narcissists are incapable of shame; a lot of narcissistic behaviour makes way more sense through that lense

"Best-at-Tears Alan" in the captions, lol. But I think I can be a contender today. Going through a brand new loss and grief is hard. Oceans of tears. This video will be the highlight of my day today and I don't even like lego movie things.

My favorite thing about this channel is how it never demonizes anyone. Every time I come across a video about a personality disorder, it’s misinforming, insulting, and makes it seem like people with personality disorders are monsters. But never this channel. I have BPD and I’ve never felt so welcome on a channel before. You guys are great. 💕

I have been diagnosed with high functioning autism when I was 2 years old. As I grew up I tended to be narcissist and a little bit sociopathic. Fortunately my parents helped me with so much of my aditude that I couldn't have had the life I have now. What basically got me through life is they taught me that if you want to have a good life then treat others the way you want others to treat you. Basically sense you are a narcissist and want your best life possible let others make it better for you. I know it sounds strange but it has been cool because I actually have friends.

I would literally just watch a 2 hour video of the two of you watching a movie. I don't even need the therapy dialog - just you two, watching a movie. That's how freaking funny and awesome you guys are.

My favorite thing about Lego Batman is how it uses queercodng in a GOOD way. Batman and Joker being a couple is not condemned or the butt of a joke. It emphasizes the need for love and family. Rowan Ellis did a great breakdown on why it's awesome.

Cinema Therapy giving a shout out to Dr. Ramani is 🤩💛🎉 Two of my favorite RU-vid channels!

'The people who come to therapy are the people who love the narcissists'- right in the feels ooph

Coming to terms with my father being a narcissist has been a huge journey, it's taken me decades of self-reflection to, unintuitive as it is, realize he's the one completely unable to take any responsibility for his mistakes and issues, and that's why no matter how many times I tried to talk things out with him and make deals towards respect, he would break everything that had been agreed upon right the next day. He would agree to things that sounded like would make him the good guy and disregard it all later when it's inconvenient, he would claim he fears nothing, etc. etc., everything that has been mentioned in this video's analysis... he is. Narcissists suck, and they hardly can be helped, they hardly take responsibility, they think of themselves as flawless, so every problem they come across is someone else's fault. But learning all this lately has helped me to be aware of my own narcissism and make sure to keep it in check.

Thank you for making this video! I do a lot of research on mental health, and I see multiple people use stigma on npd to say awful things, and one of the stigmas being "narcissists can't change" when- they can? Yes, it will be hard since self reflection and what Jono said, it means they have flaws, but narcissists are human just like the rest of us, and they beauty of us as people is we can change if we put the work into it.

Through my own experience (with the help of my mother's experiences, too), we both found that my estranged father--in particular--isn't capable of change. We both have tried our best to have a decent, at the very least, relationship with him--my mom went to couple's counselling when I was two, and did all of the work; I went to counselling when I was 12 to have the tools to have a relationship with him if I so pleased. Obviously, I didn't persue the relationship because it was falling apart. I could be wrong because this was my and my mother's experience. As always, I loved the video, and laughed with you guys a lot of the time, and at your guys' jokes. Can't wait for more!!

Fun fact: My statistics teacher's two worst fears were snakes and clowns, so he had a picture of lego batman looking afraid with the caption "My worst fear: snake clowns!" taped to the back wall of the classroom, and it was great.

YESSSS I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODE FOR SO LONG!!!! I just wish you guys showed more clips!! there's sooooo much to talk about in terms of the themes of this movie and how batman grows throughout. the conversation with joker at the beginning, batman getting sent to the phantom zone, and him revealing his identity to robin and the others before sending himself back at the end are all such great character moments and I just wish we could have seen your takes on them!! I also love the animation in these movies. there's so much great film making going on.

Very much agree with the last statement. My grandpa is a legit narcissist and genuinely has a hard time ever understanding he’s done soemthing wrong. Always justifies it. It’s very complicated but in the last few years as he’s hit his 70s he’s seemed to have some realization about why he tends to be alone (you’d think the three failed marriages would do that but yknow) and has been better with his behavior . Especially when it comes to his criticism of everything and everyone. If he hadn’t made these changes or attempts over the years I would’ve cut him off completely long ago.

I'm so happy you referenced Dr. Ramani!! I love her! This was a great one! Thank you!

I think it would be interesting for you two to look into all 3 High School Musical movies, and look into the relationship between Troy and Gabriella. I know those two characters are suppose to be a power couple, but personally l see there are a lot of complications in the relationship. Also, l'm curious to see your takes and opinions on their relationship. It's ok if you two don't want to do a video on this, but it would be interesting to dive into live action disney couples in a musical

Loved the editing on this one. xD Also especially liked that you guys hit all of the perspectives on the behavior: what it is, how to deal with it as someone related to the person, and how to try to improve if you are the person. I also really liked that you provided info on how much hope to retain that the person can or is improving. I feel like that that can be some supportive confirmation for someone to retain hope or reach acceptance for dealing with someone in their life that acts this way. Will definitely share this video with everyone I know.