Kai Evans that is ridiculous, what is wrong with a daughter sitting on her father's lap? And what is wrong snuggling? You are all sick if You really think this guy and these dudes are having incestuious relationships.
As a mother and grandmother, it makes me sick and I want to vomit, when I hear that dad talk about cuddling with and having his daughter’s sit on his lap. When little girls are babies, toddlers, and preschool, let them cuddle or sit on daddy’s lap for story time. But APPROPRIATELY, NOT incestuously or abusively! I wonder how many of these outwardly Godly men are secretly molesting, raping, and abusing their daughters? Sick.
***** Isn't just a little bit creepy that men want to marry their daughters so they never nave anyone else? Also, its blatantly misogynistic, as it implies that a female is the property of her father to "give" to her husband.
@Ben Kahrmann How is saying “Daddy is my boyfriend” an innocent statement? It’s an extremely shitty metaphor for the love a daughter feels for her dad; “Daddy is my everything” is an innocent and cute statement with no form of sexuality to it.
Hillary S. But why should the girl's self worth be dependent on their virginity. That's what's troubling. It's pretty much teaching these girls that they are some kind of thing that once it's used, it loses value.
That's the premise. Praising their daughters for being virgins, and acting like they're better than others, as opposed to letting their daughters experience the ins and outs of relationships.
@@juratory8876 Sadly, many fathers would agree with this, and won't see anything disgusting or creepy about it. They would say "It's a man who loves his daughter and doesn't want any guy to use his daughter as a sex object and/or get his daughter pregnant." They think they know what they are talking about. There was a time when fathers did stuff like all of the time like having a gynecologist check their daughter's hymen to see if they were still a virgin or not (the rapper T.I. had that done to his daughter). Stuff like that are disgusting and creepy (and sexist too). If you properly teach your daughter how to be careful and how to be responsible when dating, then most likely everything is going to be ok when she dates. The reason why so many girls tend to get hurt (psychologically or physically or both) and/or get pregnant when dating is because boys and girls are not properly taught about dating and sex by their parents. The key to preventing girls from getting pregnant in high school and to date the right people and be in healthy relationships is to teach them (and boys too) about safe sex and dating and boundaries when it comes to that stuff. A parent needs to be teaching their kids about this stuff instead of the opposite. Sadly, a lot of fathers avoid teaching their daughters about this stuff and try sheltering them from it, and that can actually be harmful because girls are not going to have enough information when they are exposed to this stuff for the first time.
Also, there many fathers who won't allow their daughters to date, but they will allow their sons to date. I believe that the reason why there's a lot of guys who only use girls for sex is because they are not raised right. I think it's mostly the fathers at fault since many of them encourage their sons to date and don't make a big deal about the amount of girls they sleep with, but it's the complete opposite with their daughters. These fathers are both selfish and hypocritical! They're ok with their son dating and sleeping with someone else's daughter and potentially hurting her or/and causing her problems, but it's not ok when someone else's son does that with their daughter. They only care when it's their daughter and not someone else's is. By doing that, fathers are just giving the message that men should be praised for the amount of sex that they have, while women should be shamed for it, and that's wrong. So parents need to be focusing a lot more on teaching their sons about respecting women and to never use them for sex when dating them, and they need to be teaching them more about boundaries when dating or asking girls out.
"Your father is your boyfriend" means that the girl's father will give her the love and support she can get from a boyfriend until she is ready to marry. That's the simplest way I can explain it.
Randy Wilson, founder: “What I hear from young ladies is theres this need for physical touch and from a male being. That’s -I believe- the father role is”. I'm not the only one really grossed out by that right?
You certainly aren't the only one. As soon as I heard that statement, I felt incredibly disgusted and grossed out. Of COURSE there's nothing wrong with hugging your kids and whatnot, but considering the context of this entire thing, that statement just felt incredibly wrong.
As a Christian I find this scary....and disturbing...added to the fact that this 'daddy dating' Jesus is my boyfriend brand of Christianity is not grounded in the Word of God....
This was not only sexist, sexuality shaming, downright creepy, but just full of lies. Waiting till marriage for sex and/or not dating at all won't decrease the likelihood of divorce if any thing I think it would increase it. You haven't seen enough relationships and experienced much in your life that way. You don't know what you really want yet. You don't see what makes a relationship good other than what you've been told. Hearing about something and actual experience are too different things. Your father should be a good man you can look up to but he shouldn't be your whole world. He doesn't have to be the head of the household because he's a man. What about boys? You don't see them dancing around with their mother promising to be pure. This is like claiming they're property of the father rather than human beings who have lives of their own without him. What about gays? But I assume as Christians they don't believe in that "nonsense"....
Exactly!! 'If you're dating in high school you're up for divorce or practising for divorce'. Eh no: you're learning and gaining experience about relationships and learning what/who you like and what you want. How would you otherwise know what's a healthy relationship? these girls marry someone and have no reference whatsoever.
It's gross, disgusting, and very creepy when a father is obsessed with his daughter's sex life and makes a big deal about not wanting her to ever have sex (since they don't want to lose that image of their daughters being pure, innocent etc). The idea that a girl loses her innocence and purity if she has sex is very harmful since it's just flat-out shaming women for being sexual beings. Fathers who think that way and think that their daughters will lose their innocence and purity by having sex are very disgusting in my opinion. Men who act like their daughters are ruined after they have sex for the first time are basically supporting rape culture. These ideas are just making it harder on female rape victims than it is already is for them.
Take "Elizabeth Smart" for an example. She is now an activist against child abuse and sexual exploitation, who was kidnapped when she was 14, raped and held for nine months before she escaped. At a forum last year, Smart talked about the way that abstinence-only education made her feel "dirty and filthy" after she was raped. "That's how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value. Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value." Elizabeth Smart's story just shows how harmful those ideas are to women. If men actually care about their daughters and other females in their life, they would not want to support those ideas.
This is about the dads, not the daughters. The dads are essentially asserting bodily and sexual control over their girls. It’s so gross. I’m glad that my dad was the type that got disgusted at the mere idea: “If I feel I have to protect you that much, I have failed as a father.” He’s always viewed his role as teaching me to think for myself, protect myself, but make smart decisions. Seeing the alternative, I’m so grateful. We have a great relationship full of trust and respect, because my dad always championed his daughters’ independence. Thanks, Dad.🌷
I agree. I knew a woman who was upset that her young son learned an offensive term at school. She was more upset at the loss of innocence than anything else, wanting to protect him and keep him from outside (corrupting) influences for as long as possible. I think to some extent this is similar, sexuality plays into it, but it's not so much about being overly concerned with the specifics of the daughters sexual life as it is about the loss of innocence, a father wanting to keep her his 'little girl' for as long as possible. And I realize there is some overlap, but I hope I'm making sense of what I'm trying to get across, that it's not 'just' about sexuality. However, the idea that a girl loses her innocence once she has sex is a very harmful way of thinking, and it comes across as shaming women for being sexual. And also, your kid needs to know about the (corrupting) influences of the world in order to make good decisions later on in their life. Sheltering your kid from stuff like this is not always a good thing and can actually be very harmful in the long run. Also, it's very creepy and disgusting that the fathers who have their daughters be in purity balls will try to be surrogate boyfriends to them. These fathers who have their daughters be in purity balls, they're not being "overprotective". Like many fathers, they just don't want their daughters to ever have sex, deep in the recesses of their minds. Many fathers make jokes about it. You can google "So you want to date my daughter" and come up with endless memes from men who are trying to scare all young men away. However, when you are a father and you have a daughter, you have to accept the fact that your daughter is going to have sex someday, and she needs acknowledge about these kind of things in order to make good decisions when faced with them. Sheltering them from these kind of things can end up actually causing them a lot of harm in the long run. To me, it's very disturbing, creepy, and disgusting when a father obsesses over his daughter's sex life.
Women's virginity is not their sole source of worth. This is nothing more than a contemporary adaptation of reducing women to property owned by their patriarch and traded at his discretion. These children are being conditioned to be subjugated wives whose primary worth is in the function of their bodies, not independent people who have more to offer than their sexuality, and who understand or value their own freedom. You don't imbue self-worth and respect in another person by sheltering them from the world, invalidating the freedom to make choices and learn from mistakes, or attempting to control their sexual identity and development. Children don't suddenly become adults, it's a long process of development and personal growth and sexual identity is part of that. You don't lose anything when you have sex, you gain knowledge about yourself, about your body and about the person you're with.
Good. Go screw through the hay fields and see how much worth you have then and go on proving it to the whole world. I guarantee nobody will give a rat's ass to your worth then.
@Khumkon Mossang then teach them the right way to have sex safely. Most girls who get pregnant at those ages had overprotective fathers like these who forbid them from having sex. Let that sink in.
It's so creepy how intensely their father is staring at them as they're being interviewed, pretty much ready to interrupt and speak for them at any second (and he does). Says a lot about how these types of people view women.
My father tried to "guard my virginity" and when I finally broke free it eventually ended our relationship because I found him so creepy to the point I ended up not wanting to speak to him again. I rather die than be "daddy's girlfriend".
Disgusting. I'm a Christian and see it for the creepy absurd thing it is. The father talks about his daughters as his property for his enjoyment. These poor girls.
Ladies, your value is not determined by your "purity". Your value is determined by your behaviors, your character, and the values you hold dear. God may not be real, but the use of the idea that he is real, and his will can be known, is used to control you. Don't be fooled. Think critically. Question everything.
hm, what I found downright scary about this is not the fact that they don't want to have sex before marriage - totally personal choice, but the implication behind the dads saying they're taking the boyfriend's role. I'm not even talking about anything sexual - that'd be a whole different problem. I really hope no one has even considered taking it that far, that would be beyond messed up. What I'm talking about is the whole the man being the high priest in the family / the dad as a guiding figure is replacing the boyfriend as a guiding figure thing / the dad being *the* man in the daughter's life. That really makes it sound like the daughters *neeeeeeed* a man in their life to guide them, because hey - they're "just" girls, what would they do without a man to guide them? So, Dads... if your daughter choses to stay a virgin until her marriage, that doesn't make her better or worse than anyone, but it sure as hell doesn't make her your property. Be a good parent and teach her how to be her own person.
"Daddies are really smart." If it had been up to my father, I'd have been married off to one of his drug head friends at 13. But, I'm sure she'll be safe with her live in HER father's hands. Sure.
You know I'm a religious man, and these people missed the point of Jesus's message entirely. His message was don't be a dick, try to be a good person, try to be nice; not be all incestuous with your kids, just teach them how to be a good person.
I noticed that too. Freud's entire idea was that subconscious and socially unacceptable (usually sexual) desires manifest themselves as more socially acceptable actions/behavior. Of course you wouldn't be thinking about those desires if they're subconscious/repressed.
the catholic church says that the feeling of same-sex attraction is okay to have, you are just not allowed to act on these feelings. you are called to a life of chastity (slightly different than the purity thing) basically feelings of same-sex attraction are totally fine just don't act on them (no same-sex relationships, sex, marriage, etc) that's the Catholic church's teaching, not really sure what their church's teaching is hope that helps
When I was a Christian years ago, I saw a lot of girls and guys who turn 18 and marry immediately--and so many of those marriages ended in split-ups and divorce because their natural human needs by that point overwhelmed their judgment. Many ended up not only falling out of the church but turning to alcohol, sometimes ending up pregnant and unsure who the father was. This is unnatural.
When people are raised not knowing how to feel their sexual feelings and instead bottling their natural instincts inside, they're not going to know how to have healthy sexual relationships as adults. This is causing way more harm than good.
Okay, I've just got to say: I have a purity ring but it's nothing like this. I can date and I can kiss if I so please, but I am choosing to save my sexual life for marriage. So don't judge everybody that has a purity ring off of one viewpoint. I chose to save myself, it wasn't my dad's decision.
Are you serious? not dating at all until you marry makes you less experienced. I've been through break-ups before. yeah. they hurt. but they can also make you smarter. life isn't perfect. you just gotta live and learn. so the pulling the 'No dating till marriage' card is gonna set you up further for divorce
Dad: "I'm my daughter's boyfriend" Journalist: "That sounds Freudian" Dad: "There's nothing Freudian about going out with my daughter" *we are not talking about you going out with your daughter, we are talking about you saying you are her boyfriend* smh
I just noticed this "But to shout and dance over the God who knows your beginning from your end you are to be quiet and keep it together at a purity ball" but I love a good finger-time with Daddy, loud as a fuck with thanks, when I can jump and dance and fart and ALL for JESUS. Praise that Rhumba-Master in Heaven. AMEN. Love those balls, DADDY!
@@ishmaelthesaudi1573 no, it's weird in everyone's mind. This is so damaging to a growing adolecscent who needs independence to evolve their characters.
How can you possibly marry someone if you're not allowed to date? It sounds like they cherry-picked a few Bible quotes to justify what is basically arranged marriage because God forbid any woman ever be able to make a decision for herself.
Ok I get a fake "date" from your dad to teach you how you deserve to be treated and make sure you're aware of the red flags in an abusive/toxic relationship but "daddy is my boyfriend" and no romance at all unless it's with your dad until he finds a husband for you is just really really weird
I have so many problems with this I don't know where to begin. My question is what if the girl finds out she's gay? What happens then? They don't adresss that.
So first off great question from what I understand most of them stay in the closet until they are far away from Mom and Dad and then try to start their lives knowing that they will never talk to their parents again if they're loaded before that it usually means conversion therapy is abuse and a quick marriage off to whatever guy the dad deems appropriate and usually a lifetime of marital rape and abuse by whatever man
"This is one night they will always have with their daddy." Dig inside that creepy pastor's life and find sexual assault in it... really, this is creepy beyond anything i have ever seen over that virginity crap among christians... i bet this guy has real dirty under his belt
The girls sign a document at the ball to be pure, but the sons are able to do whatever. The daughters husband at 3:17 who was interviewed. He admitted to having sex before marriage. Where was his shaming? I bet if one of the daughters had sex before marriage. they would be shamed up and down, and told they'll go to hell.
" Dad knows best ' ? Best for who ? This is just way too close to the teachings of Sharia. Although this is happening in the US, and they've put a pretty face on it, I have to say that something here just doesn't sound or feel right. Passing a daughter straight from her father's 'authority' to her husband's 'authority' with nothing in between. No 'ME ' time, no time for teenage fun, regular fun. Boyfriends are a part of the normal growing process. They've made the term 'boy friend' something taboo, something dirty. Having a boyfriend doesn't always lead to sex, but if it does, is it really the end of the world ? These poor little sacrificial lambs are being brainwashed by males and their own right to individuality has been forever taken away. A twelve year old all made up like a high fashion model complete with mascara and the like, is far more disturbing to me. These guys are grooming the next large group of phschologically messed up girls/women.. I just hope they have access to good mental health care, because they're gonna need it.
“Dad and Jesus fill the void of a man in my life” weirdest Shit I’ve ever hear and I feel bad for these poor girls who will never be able to have a awkward first kiss in middle school or a passionate first love in highschool. They’ll never be able to experience those joys because they’ve been brainwashed that purity is their only worth.
i feel sorry for them too i hate to see girls not learning to navigate life they are trained to be babies going from one lord and master to another their dads even manage the courtship system to the point the girls have to accept the dad being the authority on every aspect of the girls lives
I'm so heartbroken by the end of this video and the purity ball founder's words on redemption. He's so gracious to messing up and mistakes but has no grace for disagreement. That ego is what hurts young girls and woman and LGBT persons for the rest of their lives -- and it's entirely antithetical to the gospel and love of Christ.
I firmly believe that some manifestation of this very strange capacity of humans, to be intelligent and at the same time completely and utterly deluded, will eventually enable our extinction event.
“When you decide to have sex get on birth control cause I’m to young to be a grandpa an I’m not raising no more kids.” Words of my dad when I was this girls age. I wouldn’t change as I’m not naive and can see through bullshit cause he didn’t shield me.
Creepy as hell.The father's are their daughter's boyfriends and so do that mean that the daughters can practice on their own father's.I know what I just wrote is very disturbing but it would make you think that this is what is happening.Please call the fathers something else other than their boyfriends.Call them their protector of their virginity or the key holder to the daughter's virginity.Anything else other than their "boyfriend".
Sorry (not sorry) but, as a survivor, a daughter sitting on daddy's lap and snuggling at that edge is creepy. I wish it could be innocent but many times its not.
So glad my dad never tried to be a high priest or boyfriend, but was just my dad! I feel lucky to have had a great dad for over 50 years! He was quite accepting of the men in my life and accepted my choices!
I saw a clip of this and I was thinking "this is bad, maybe there's more context to this?" No, it got much worse. This is literally just fucking child grooming.
It's naive and stupid. Not saying people should be promiscuous but when you love and commit to someone, it doesn't matter If you have sex with them before marriage. You need to know how sexually compatible you are with your partner before you marry
Everything these fathers say and do sounds like grounds for arrest under suspicion on child molestation. This is the American equivalent of the Taliban and police should be raiding Purity Balls and saving these girls. Any father who calls himself his daughter’s boyfriend is sick and disturbed, regardless of the motivation.
I understand the no sex before marriage part but this is going way too far no dating and no kissing either until marriage and your dad picks your husband the religious right are insane
Fathers pledging to be their daughters boyfriend (Nope not creepy at all) How come the man doesn't have something similar to this? 01:41 "I want one husband and one husband alone", that's what most folks want too. 02:36 " I wasn't thinking about Freud at all", I hope you know who Freud is and what that means, but I think you don't, so lets leave it at that. 03:07 "I think Jesus is better than Freud", I have no words for this. 03:27 Married dude had a girlfriend and was 'compromised' , hypocrisy much? (Kudos on honesty though) and it shook you as a person? Yup I don't deny that one bit. 04:50 "there is this need for that physical touch from a male being which is what a father role is" Nope nothing creepy about that. 05:22 "You can't mess up on a kiss..", said the professor who has close to zero experience. 05:32 Reporter: "everyone doesn't kiss the same way", Now those girls are thinking... 06:08 Yes that's a ring, given by a father to her daughter, a 'purity ring'. Nope not creepy at all. 06:20 "Wait for prince charming..", ;) 09:32 "..if our life is so bizarre...why am I so in love with my wife, 30 years marriage, loving children" I don't know, but you are still bizarre and making you children live up to very difficult expectations. Sorry I mean daughters, you want your daughters to live up to very difficult expectations.
Terrible message sent that a woman has only one man in her life, I bet her getting married is a big deal, must cry cause he is done then with her....sent off to the next man....ownership of her social life as far as another man goes....I could go on all day....right off this same step. Not underestimating the relationship, but the message.
I am so grateful my parents aren't crazy religious. My dad's condition with dating is to wait until I'm 15 and try not to lose my v card until I was 18. The guy cannot be lazy, a drug dealer, or abusive. He should have goals on what he wants. Most importantly, if we do live together then we better be finding our own place bc it won't be in his house.
Hideous power and control over young influential girls. Fathers are there to listen, support and love not instruct (demand), protect (have ownership) and require reverence and enforced respect. Yes a father must walk step by step with their daughter and part of that is not treating them like fruit that is about to go off. And stop dragging them onto your lap by the fireplace.
Oh sweet does that mean that the Medici sore still in power and that I can possibly petition them to become patrons of my art because if not I don't want to be here anymore
This is the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen. A girls body and what she decides to do with is no ones business but hers!!!! This is borderline child abuse in my opinion. At the very least it’s psychological traumatizing!