Q+A: “I can’t say no to free” & getting kids to help (Podcast Ep. 26) 

I found you during a rough postpartum. I worked very hard at minimizing my things, some would say I have gone too far. I grew up in the home of a hoarder and didn’t know any different. My son is now 3, I have autism, run two businesses out of my home, and am going through a divorce. The other day my son got to go with his dad for the afternoon and in the past I would have needed to clean or organize or shuffle things around my house. This day though, I got to go for a quiet walk up into our forest in the fresh snow. It was magical, and healing. With all that I have going on in my life there never would have been a moment to take time for myself. But this day I got to do something for me because my house is so extremely minimal. I can’t even begin to explain how grateful I am for you!

Dawn, I’m 70 and I want to adopt you! This is actually a mental health podcast. It’s that important.

The big thing we have to get past is wanting others to want our stuff. If that item doesn’t mean anything to them keep it till you go but give them permission to let it go. Don’t pass on a guilt trip to your kids.❤❤

Dawn you made a great point about your oldest daughter and the balance of privilege and responsibility! As a counselor I try to teach parents the concept that privilege and responsibility must be balanced. Too much privilege and not enough responsibility makes us entitled and too much responsibility and not enough privilege makes us resentful. Thank you for modeling this!

I just want to say about a year ago my husband got sick. We had to make the decision to move from Florida to NC to live with his mom. I had started a little decluttering because of your videos before all of this. But because of your videos I was able to make very hard decisions without having a breakdown. I was able to get my house to fit in a 5 x 8 uhaul trailer. This stuff is just "stuff". We kept the important things and made our move. I would have had alot harder time with this without you❤. We are now (🙌🙌🙌 praise the Lord) moving to our own (tiny) apartment on Monday. I will definitely be using minimalism when bringing things into our new home. Thank you for being you!!!

Letting go of sad items is great advice. I read a decluttering story from a woman who had gone through a tough time. She journaled to get her through this period. It helped greatly. Whenever she moved, the journals went with her. She had poured so much of herself into them she couldn’t imagine letting them go. As she began her decluttering journey she realized she had been dragging the worst times of her life with her everywhere she went. This realization made it easy to ditch the journals and move forward.

Dawn, your parents planted seeds that have produced so much fruit!! I admire them from the little you have shared about them. They are probably too humble to admit they they played such a huge roll in their children’s success in helping others. I’m so grateful for you and your WHOLE family!!! You will never know how much you have helped me ❤

When my kids were little we used what we called the "Fast and Furious 5" Which just meant it was five literal minutes of fast cleaning. We even did it when they were teenagers!!! It helped so much, we set a timer for 5 minutes and everybody got into it. It was like a race.

Raising my kids on a farm is one of the best choices we made. Our kids are so responsible and thrive on the being a part of our team. My husband got sick last year and our 10 yr old ran the farm. Guess what? That was normal from the start of history until the last 70 yrs.

Dawn, Great video. My bday is coming up, & I asked my Hubby to body double me while I clean my sewing / craft room & bring me items & ask if I want to keep them. I told him I'm going to try & make a yes or no decision right away so we don't have to touch things twice. I say that's a huge gift to me & cheap for him. 😅 😊

I've been decluttering for several years now. I'm 72, so mine is like Swedish death cleaning. I had the same trouble as the last of your callers. I had the responsibility of being the sole caretaker of my mother's prized belongings. After asking my daughter, I was able to find various individuals who wanted the items she did not so I told them the history and stories about the items. When I got to her crystal from the 1940s, I was unable to find a recipient, so I found a estate sales consignment store that was available for people in search of these type items. So I could be assured that those who purchased really did value these items.

Matt, from Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff, also mentions that when younger generations hear the stories, they sometimes want the items. If its hard to let go of a family treasure, make sure you've told the stories.

Heirloom items: Someone said, "If you wouldn't be sad if it spontaneously combusted, you should probably let it go." Also, we obviously couldn't keep 100% of every ancestors' items. So at some level, we have to pick and choose and let some go.

Dawn, I had a consultation with a therapist last week as part of a weight loss program I’m in. I mentioned that one of the reasons I think I’m experiencing more self-control and discipline around eating is because I’ve decluttered my home and have learned such discipline as doing dishes after dinner and having a set day of week that I do laundry and actually switching out the laundry loads and not waiting three days etc. I told her that I think therapists should also ask questions about the state of someone’s home and whether or not it’s a hectic or peaceful place. Thanks for all you do! You have led me to create a peaceful home that I love to come home to.

I appreciate the ideas both for clearing out all the unnecessary stuff, but Dawn's ideas like the inbox and sorting things as they enter our house, and preventing potential incoming items from getting accepted or purchased in the first place! It is a new way of looking at belongings to have a peaceful and functional home.

Pretend the phone just rang and whomever is arriving in 10 minutes - you'd be amazed at how quickly you can clean the bathroom and pull the house together!

I wish, with all my heart, I had found you when my kids were little so that I could have taught them the value of clearing our homes of stuff we don’t use. My kids are all grown, with their own kids, and two of them have homes that are just so full of stuff 😢. I wish I could save them from that stress.

I have had that problem of free stuff before. Especially when I was a broke single mom. Gifts and free stuff was never rejected. Now there's only me and my disabled daughter. It's still a journey but listening to you makes it easier to walk away from things that won't benefit us. I'm very slow at my decluttering, which can be frustrating, but I've learned to give myself grace and keep looking at what I have gotten done. I can see that it's working and can't wait to do more. Whenever I'm looking at the areas I need to declutter, I try to remind myself of what is better and if look around I can see that things are better!! I did buy extra of school supplies every year when they were on sale. But I had a specific place for them and used them. The last few years after they were all done with that I haven't had to buy any of those supplies, but again I had a specific place for them. Other than that I wish you had been around when my kids were young and I was trying to manage too much inventory. I'm getting better at letting go and it feels good. Some things are still challenging but I know I can do it when I get there!!! Love you Dawn!!!

I'm super interested to hear more of your ideas about the cleaning styles!! I feel like anyone who doesn't do the checklist/routine style can be viewed as lazy/disorganized/unclean. So yeah please share!

I am really grappling with the guilt right now, not only of spending money on the things, but also the time and money I spent to move them 😓. But i love the idea of curating a home of my favourite things!

I can so relate to your 1st messager (with the 6 yr. old) and how good it feels to declutter and getting rid of stuff. I started this journey 3 1/2 years ago, with the support of my husband, and we made easy trash decisions and duh donations and we sent a couple of truckloads down the road. Then I started decluttering clothes. Celebrate with me. As of today, January 26, 2024, I have gotten through decluttering all of MY clothes. I had a lot-so much it was ridiculous. I feel like truly I got rid of 99% of MY clothes. At least 15 33 gal bags of clothes later, I can look at about 125 total pieces of clothing and am totally content. 5 minutes matter!!! I have had spurts of longer time allowances but mostly 5-20 minute spurts over 3 1/2 years (including fighting cancer fatigue). When I got out of the hospital in the summer of 2021, Greg, my husband, would bring clothes from the basement and I would sit in the living room and sort clothes - mostly to the donate "black trash bag". It feels so good. I am not done decluttering the house but getting the clothes decluttered was such a huge, overwhelming project. I have gotten the living room to a place that it feels so much more comfortable and homey. It feels so good and you are the reason that I have this feeling. Your videos, your encouragement, your repetition of the basics, your delving into the psychology of it all have made the difference in my life. Thank you so much Dawn. Congratulations on another satisfied customer. I also thank Dana, Josh, and Cas.

Yes to the cleaning styles!!! I just can't do the routine approaches but love a clean home and do reasonably well keeping up on an "as and when" basis

Amen, Amen, amen!!!! Getting to the middle of my onion and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I literally spent my entire weekend having fun instead of maintaining stuff!!!! I went to Sea World and dinner, took care of my body and heart with connection, nails, running and Bible study with Diana, etc.... and my home is still clean!!!!! I'm finally getting to live a life that I love and thrive in, rather than peddling backwards all the time. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dawn!!!!! Today is my 33 birthday and I'm so thankful I found you when I did in 2023 because I see a beautiful life ahead of me instead of drowning in taking care of stuff. Bless you and your sweet family!!!!! Hugs!!!! ❤

I loved your watermelon story. I went on vacation with friends a long time ago (before Airbnb) and stayed in a very modest cottage. Nothing was provided for us. We forgot to bring a salad bowl for one of our planned dinners and ended up using the veggie drawer from the refrigerator! It worked and made for a great story. Be resourceful!!! 😊❤

I totally agree with the different cleaning styles! I am the type of person who just knows what needs to be done, whether that is from lots and lots of practice, or just my natural bent. If I had a list written out that on such and such a day I needed to deep clean my oven, oh how I would be dreading that day! But on the random Saturday morning when I decide today is the day and we are cleaning the oven, I am gung ho cleaning that oven, and probably under the fridge, and scrubbing off the sides of the cabinets as well while I'm at it! Today I am tackling the basement, and just decided to do so last night. If something else was going on today and no deep cleaning occurred, that would have been just fine as well. Daily stuff happens every day, 99% of the time, dishes, laundry, tidying up. But that is really just autopilot, I know it needs to be done, so I don't even try and think about it and just do it.

Dawn can you do another clean with me on your regular channel? I have been needing motivation and I've loved your clean with me videos in the past. I've watched them many times over!

Thank you Dawn for your inspiration on the middle/deeper layers of the onion!! 😘❤️🧅

I think it is beautiful that you passed down your grandmother's beautiful name, and you decided not to pass on the bowls. It's really highlights your personal values and your relationships in a meaningful way. ❤

My kids are ages 8-14. They rotate chores monthly. Gives them time to learn the chore and about the time they hate it (week 4) we switch 😂. Looking after pets, loading dishwasher, setting the table, etc. Additionally they pick up their rooms, collect laundry and clean out the car on school breaks. They can cook easy things (ramen, etc) but I need to be more intentional about teaching them to cook with actual ingredients.

Also regarding resisting the temptation of free stuff, I firmly clasp my hands behind my back, say out loud "No," turn sharply on my heel and walk briskly away. After thinking about what happened last time, where I would actually store it, how I would (or wouldn't) actually use it, that decisive physical rejection is very satisfying!

Dawn, You have no idea how much you are a blessing to me. Not only have you helped me (a couple years ago) to let go of memory items that I kept for so long that didn’t even have good memories tied to them. As I keep listening to you more over time I have learned more about myself in terms of my personal journey as a mom and how to raise my kids in a loving way in a practical way. I am a Christian but don’t have many like minded moms that I can relate to on these topics. You are a light and your way of helping others simplify their homes has also actually helped me simplify my mind towards the Lord if that makes sense. Thank you for sharing so much of your personal life with us it truly helps me so much!! More than you will ever know. ❤

I"m 67 and my mom trained me to help her from about the age of 6. I had to keep my room picked up. When I was 10, Mom got a job and my responsibilities expanded to dusting, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, washing floors and window/mirror cleaning. My Dad and brother did the "outside" chores for the most part. Teaching kids these life skills is parenting at it's best!

I am so lucky to have a regular cleaner, and in years past, the day before she came was a massively stressful day since we had to put everything back where it belonged (I couldn't bring myself to pay her to move a book to the bookshelf or hang a jacket--I wanted her time spent deep cleaning!). And since everything didn't have a home, and we just had TOO MUCH STUFF it took so much time! And even what our lovely cleaner could get done in her limited time couldn't really get the house fully clean. But since we've become minimalists, those days are gone! Tidying up takes almost no time, and sometimes we forget what day it is so don't do the prep, but it's pretty much no consequence since we have way less stuff, and EVERYTHING has a home (which means it's so easy to put things away, so they get put away). And since we no longer have end tables to collect dust or vacuum around, or geegaws on shelves (or shelves for that matter), our cleaner can get our house absolutely sparkling in the given time. Minimalism has so many ripple effects. You have made our lives better. This weekend, I am trying to work up the emotional energy to face boxes and boxes of 30-year-old photos of our travels from when we were first married. Oof. Wish me luck.

I always appreciate your videos. You are honest and I believe you are an inspiration. Thank you for all your hard work that you do to help others. You need to enjoy spending that time with your family. Sometimes we all need a break to go out and eat and enjoy those special moments. You are mindful of what you spend, while still being considerate to your family, not wanting to always tell them no. You are doing great!

Wow I love how you answered the question about how to get kids to help. I definitely need to reframe the way that I get my kids to pitch in. I'm going to do my best to make them feel needed rather than guilt tripping them about how much I do and how little a require of them

Thank you DAWN. You have changed my mindset and life.

You are truly fortunate to have had a family unit! ❤

Yes to the cleaning types! Dawn I've been so blessed by all that you've shared. God's literally transforming me through you Cas and the crappy childhood fairy. Thank you ❤

Oh my goodness, when I was little I would always tell my Mamal and Papal that “I love you and likes you, too!!” Loving someone and liking them were very distinctive to me even when I was young. I love everyone, because Jesus says we should, but I don’t necessarily like everybody!

Excellent podcast Dawn. I love the way you give ‘permission’ 😊without guilt to let go of our stuff. As I go about my decluttering and come across a knotty problem I stop and think ‘what would Dawn do’, and then I do it. 😂 Sooo easy.

I always had chores as a kid and especially as a teen, and I think that is why I had confidence to start working at 14. I don’t see that same level of independence with other teens now, but I also know that the challenges over the past 4 years impacted everyone one way or another….and our routines are still off kilter. Hope things level out again soon.

LOVE DAWN❤HATE THE VOICE OVER INTO GUY😢

Oh the question about family not wanting your item was great! I would do what Dawn said and document it, then find someone else outside of the family that would treasure it. It will make you feel like it still is a loved item. I've done this with many things and it feels so good.

You said a lot of what I needed to hear today. I've been hanging on to a vase that was my mom's aunt's. It was reglued together, so it really isn't valuable. I have fond memories of her, but I need to let go of the vase. It has never fit well into any home I've lived in. And I've kept it long enough.

Hey, I really enjoy the announcer’s voice and the professionalism he brings to the podcast. Keep it going. Love all your resources to help us grow stronger!

Dawn can you give us more content on how your parents raised you guys. It’s such a beautiful testimony to how amazing parents they were. Thanks!

This was excellent! I always learn new things to consider when i listen to you.

I can't possibly know this because how (?) but I'm convinced that if our deceased famiiy members could speak to us from the other side they would say they were mistaken to encourage us to hold on the heirlooms (unless they are important to us, not to pass on). They know better now and it's just stuff. Let it go. Don't feel guilty.

Dawn's answer to the last Q: "...these artifacts..." Perfect label for items passed down generationally that the next generation has NO interest in. As a Christian, I try to remember Jesus didn't "pass on" physical items. He "passed on" character traits; integrity, personal responsibility, persistence, determination, humility, a giving mindset. THAT is what I remember the most about MY great grandparents and grandparents.

Dawn...you so much about the second hand sentimental items. When my father died over 20 years ago, my mother gave me a pocket watch that was his. I had never seen him use it or had even seen it but my mother was insistent that I take it. It spent 20+ years on closet shelves, in drawers until I finally decided to declutter it because it had no sentimental value to me. I expected guilt, but there was none. Glad it's finally not taking up space.

Such a Blessing !❤

🥤excited to listen. Thank you❣️

Ooo I love the cleaning types idea!!

Great tips as always! Love you too Dawn ❤

You are always an inspiration, and minimalism is my goal. I'm SO far away from my goal, but I'll get there. I began the decluttering journey a year ago with Cass' 30 day boot camp. That got my husband on the declutter train, too, thank God. Through her I found you and then later, Dana. You guys are a triple threat for sure. Did the Take Your House Back this year. Didn't accomplish much, just the pantry. But it was progress, not perfection. I learned early on, that the first layer of the onion, is pretty thin. Not much leaves. Each time I go back, I can weed out a bit more. Now after 4 or 5 attempts, I can actually see a difference all over the house. I can NOT wait until my house looks normal! But I won't stop at normal - I want minimal. Thank you so much for sharing your life. BTW. Your brows look AMAZING today. I have brow envy.

So much wisdom 😭🙌🏼💕😇😉☝🏼🫂🙏🏼

I love this so much! I want to help my family learn these tools that have helped me so much! I like the mindset of simply being available if they ever are ready.

If you're looking for a cleaning routine then I recommend The Organised Mum method. It's really made a difference for me to keep on top of cleaning 😊

I love it Dawn!!!!!!! Love from Ania from Poland

Dawn! Please develop the Minimalist Types ❤

Wow wow wow wow wow. Just wow.🎉

Thanks for sharing 🙏 lots of love from arctic Norrway 🙌🌹🌼🌻🌷

Family heirlooms, donate them to regional museums!

Love your channel. I really miss Tom

Think about the landfill as well. Free stuff ends up as trash.

Ciao, i'm so agree with you, i grown in family we do all together but now i do eveything my husband never do anything, i dont know how to teach him to be part of home managing at least to put away he's stuff. I tried not to put away he's stuff by myself he blamed me keeping it forever😂

Watch you all the time. I have an off the wall question. Will you share what your nail polish is in this video?

I do really well some days ghen my house becomes rack and ruin. Then when it happens I really hate myself. I could have an amazing day and anyone could walk in and be like wow nice house then day after catastrophe city. I know this is a decluttering thing and continue with systems but the fatigue is unreal sometimes 😢.

I have done a LOT of decluttering since I started watching you. One place I do NOT feel organized is in my fridge and, having lived in various countries in Africa for 19 years, nothing makes me feel guiltier than wasting food!! Any tips/advice?

I’m selling some and giving some away. A happy balance

Thats the word. Dusgusted with consumerism. Being influenced about the greed, blindsided, being duped. I reached a level i wint buy anything COLONIAL. Hate it!

To get kids to help clean up, and turn into tidy adults - start early. Teach them as toddlers that we all pickup before starting a new activity, after dinner, before bedtime. Sing the Barney Clean Up song! And be consistent, forever.

LOL, did you just throw your sister under the bus talking about when work was to be done on the weekend, she’d disappear? Ha, so funny.

My last remaining Aunt keeps telling me “we have so many special things that our sons (my cousins) don’t want! We want you to have it all!” 😳 I’m like “Nooooooo!!!!” I’ve tried explaining to her how my house is tiny (literally 800 sq ft) and I have no room for anything else! The only thing I would want is their Dragonfly lamp. But every time I’m there she literally puts stuff in my hands and says “you’re the only one who will truly appreciate this!” Ughh😩

?? Where is Tom?? Dawn, I Love Your Videos & you've Help keep me on task 👏 but I Miss the Progress videos Toms made on the houses as well as his Personality he Brings to each episode. Can you please Share if possible what he's creating these days? I keep checking but I Never see a New posted Episode 😒 Thanks Again Dawn, for your so No-Nonsense & Sooo Correct expressions esp in THIS video. I have a Sister & SIL who are "Slow to make Progress". They Are Moving Forwards, but I guess I Expect More action. I'm Bad I know to want More from them. I'm just So Excited for Myself with Less I WANT the same for them also 🥺. I will approach them with what you mentioned about body doubling or offering my assistance just to help, allowing Them to take the lead. I'd LOVE to start with their Silverware drawer 🤣😂

Hi. I don't see the link to join so that I can do the photo decluttering groups.

lol "similar to me"

The new voice announcer you have is much better

QUESTION: why the male voice-over at the start of yours podcast/videos???? i have realized that i have stopped listening to your new podcasts/videos because of that cheeezy male voiceover….i have no idea why it is such a literal turn-off for me, as in i literallly turn off your pod-cast/video. I do listen to other male voiced podcasts/videos….i have seen/enjoyed your podcasts/videos where you have male voiced guests, that voice over intro is just ….and i know that you will likely not even read this comment but i hope you will, or someone else has the same feeling and lets you know

Ugh...still with that cheesy announcer dude? It's awful.

Two and a half minutes before Dawn starts to speak is too much. I just feel confused from hearing different voices saying different things and it not going anywhere. Now I feel agitated and I’m going to give this whole podcast a miss. QQQQA just doesn’t work for me as a format.

Can you do videos not about kids please? Maybe pet stuff or just overall clutter?