Finding people on dating apps who are OK with my asexuality as a woman who dates men was so tough because I learned over time that a lot of cishet men simply do not read women's profiles 🤦♀ which leads to awkward conversations down the road. (same goes for finding men who are OK with me not wanting kids.)
Oof, yes! The thing I fear the most is someone saying they’re fine with it, everything seems to check out, and then it turns out they were just hanging around hoping I’d change my mind, or that they could behave their way into being the exception. I’ve certainly had that experience with men when I told them, directly respectfully and early, that I wasn’t interested in anything beyond friendship. Some of them are honestly unaware of their own feelings and don’t realize they’re trying to get closer and are utterly baffled when I point out that they’re crossing a line in the friendship, and some are just straight up lying and throwing out thinly-veiled propositions strategically, knowingly. In both cases, way too many of them went Mr. Hyde on me. Sometimes this was after building a seemingly normal, wonderful friendship, and for the friendship to end like that is heartbreaking. Godspeed on the apps, it’s tough being ace but not aromantic 🫡 (I have heard that there are ace dating apps, but I haven’t looked into it yet)
@@Chucanellia lot of cis/het men hear everything someone they read as a woman says as having an implied “but you’re the one exception!” at the end. Like, to the point that you could say “I’m deathly allergic to shellfish” and they would start trying to rub shrimp on your face, then throw a tantrum when you stop them, cause they thought you only go into anaphylactic shock with everyone else. Goes back to basic, baaaaaasic consent, really.
This is a big problem I have, too. Things like religion or political values are totally ignored most of the time even if I say they are a priority for me. And then I’ll end up on date 2 finding out these guys didn’t even read it. I had one guy continue to ask me my type and about crushes I’ve had in the past despite me repeating numerous times that I’m demi and haven’t ever had a crush nor do I know what I “like”. He must have thought I was lying or was just looking for a compliment, but I’m not just gonna say, “you! You’re my type!” When I’ve already established I don’t feel that way about them.
and even if they do, i bet there's a million men who think "oh i can change her, she just hasn't found the right guy yet to "unlock" her sexuality, but i can be the ONE" and no. no you can't. asexuality isn't a challenge, it's who i am, so fuck all the way OFF with that shit. i'm not asexual, but i am STAUNCHLY childfree, so much so that i've gotten my tubes tied cuz no, just no. and i've dated multiple guys who said they didn't want kids either, only to find out months later that actually, they just said that cuz they thought i wasn't that serious, that i was just saying it, or that i would change my mind once i was in love or some dumb shit.
I know I've shared this a few times in this community, but my last therapist, who said she was LGBT+ affirming, when I explained what ace was and that I was ace, she said "well everyone feels that way so it's normal". Like two things. One, how dare you dismiss all my pain that went along with that, and two.... I might have some news about you as a person
@@tallonhunter3663that's wild, I feel like as soon as you mention not having romance on a pedestal in any way at all even- wakes up the sleeper agent in everyone and suddenly theyre very invested in convincing you otherwise🙄 I feel for my fellow aces :/
my old therapist was suppper adamant that i, in the future, would be a mother (via having becoming pregnant and having a biological child) despite me consistently talking about my discomfort around men and the fact that i very much NEVER want to be pregnant and that i dont know if ill ever be in the right space emotionally to raise a child. keep in mind i was also 17 and he was 60 or older. i continued to see him for way longer than i shouldve because i felt like i was being dramatic and i could just focus on the “positives” i was gaining from seeing him, but in the end all that ended up happening was me being unable to open up to him and my mental health worsening. to anyone who reads this, if your therapist EVER tries to invalidate what you want to do with your own fucking life, please drop them soo fucking quickly because you deserve so much better
I realized one of my old therapists was non-queer-affirming when she would beat around the bush with certain issues. For example I was telling her about one fight I had with my mom about “how I could never date a girl or a trans man because it’s unnatural and the Bible and blah blah blah” and rather than acknowledging the homophobia and transphobia in my mom’s comments, she was just like “have you ever been in a fight with a parent before?” “Do you have any hobbies you can do for self-care?” Like BRUH did you not just listen to a word I said?
I tried talking to my therapist about my internalized biphobia, and she said that maybe it means I truly want to be with a man and that I was just in a queer relationship "to look progressive." definitely did not help at all
that’s so awful. i hope you can find another therapist! also, so what if you want to be with a man? if you’re attracted to your own gender and at least one other, you are under the bisexual umbrella. you are queer enough, regardless of the gender of your partner(s).
I had a therapist try to convince me that me being trans was part of me 'uglifying' myself because I was s/a'd. I was newly 16 then. Now I'm 19 and I'm still trans, but more insecure because I guess I'm ugly too lol
You're not ugly. One narrow-minded person's definition of what is attractive and beautiful does not define you. Try to hang onto that. 💜 For example: A lot of men find butches ugly, but they're hot AF. Men think I'm ugly when my head is shaved, but women (especially queer women) love it.
A former therapist that I ghosted when I realized what she was trying to do, tried to subtly conversion therapy me. Just said to every issue I brought up that it meant I wanted a cis hetero marriage with children. I’m a nonbinary trans bi lesbian who never wants children and never wanted them.
Before that I thought conversion therapy always was similar to what I had seen in „but I’m a cheerleader“ or worse. I didn’t know therapists can be „nice“ about it.
As a trans enby i also experienced the “nice” conversion therapy. He would tell me that since I understood that gender is a social concept, then that meant that me wanting to change my body meant that I too caught up in people’s perception of me and that I should just accept it as it is. It really messed me up it took a long time for me to unpack why this is stupid : it’s so dishonest to pretend it’s achievable to live completely unaffected by something like GENDER which is in every interaction
@@kashiialcuin1688with so much respect i would also like to know, I’m feeling a bit confused, but i also know there are some things im ignorant to and would like to understand more
@@kashiialcuin1688 I’m multi gender. And grew up in the lesbian community since I’ve been 12, along with many other nonbinary and trans people who didn’t know their gender yet and the best they knew how to describe it was via their queer attraction to woman. Which is all being a lesbian means. There’s a lot of different ways to arrive at being a bi lesbian and/or non binary and/or trans. I’m still a lesbian because I’ve always been one. It’s where I fit in best. But while I am largely defined by my queer attraction to women. That’s not all that defines my identity and it’s important to me to also bring that I’m not always a woman and that I’m not only attracted to women, but I’m also nonbinary and attracted to other nonbinary people too. Women and nonbinary people is 2 or more which is the definition of bi. Others have a seperate sexual and romantic attraction so they might identify as bi lesbian because they are romantically attracted to women but sexually attracted to many genders. (My sister is biromantic and heterosexual for example for one of the other options to use split attraction, another option would be lesbian and asexual) There’s infinite possibilities for why someone got to their labels. And it’s not really anyone’s decision but the person themselves. Acab includes the label gatekeeper police.
My last therapist believed I was trans because of CSA. I was crying about not having a boyhood, and he told me that I was assaulted unprompted. I wanted to take back the some semblance of control so I told him what happened and because my assaulter was an older girl he told me “that’s not it”. He also got mad when I made fun of Sigmund Freud..so, red flag there. My current therapist is awesome though.
Thanks for the reminder other aces are out there and want something similar in a relationship 😊 finding a partner as an asexual can seem a daunting task
As a transgender person it is so refreshing and validating to be told that I do not owe anyone a specific image or behavior to be trans. Thank you so much for this! Sending you a ton of love during Pride and always!
ooh I had a complicated kind of situation with a former therapist about my asexuality. I was going primarily for exam related anxiety, I would get like panicky when I felt I was being evaluated and that was my big thing to focus on at that time, but he thought my relationship with my SO at the time was bad because I wasn't sexually attracted to them, I tried to explain I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone at all, and he was like "that's not normal" and made it all about my anxiety, asking if I was anxious about my body or my sexuality or whatever. I eventually just started steering the conversation away from that and not talking if he tried to prod about my sexuality and refocus like "I'm not talking about my SO, I'm talking about school and work." but it was not super validating admittedly. I tried to just take what I could use and leave what I couldn't use, but he got so concerned and weirded out when I said I didn't experience sexual attraction.. The therapist was an old dude in the deep south and the only one I had access to for 60 miles so I'm grateful at least he didn't try to send me to conversion therapy. He was religious but didn't use that in therapy at my request due to personal religious trauma on my part, and he did muse that he understood that some folks were gay or straight but he wouldn't wrap his head around asexuality. Oh well is basically all I could say at the time. It does amuse me that I found out that stress is actually a libido trigger for me, and I did try to be very people-pleasing when I was in my peak anxiety because I was so frantic about people accepting me. And kind of as a result of unpacking my anxiety and adopting coping mechanisms and habits that reduced my stress and anxiety I became sooo much more asexual and confident in asserting that I was ace as my anxiety lowered. I don't mind my libido but it's very directionless and aimless and difficult to kinda pin down and resolve at times. Thanks so much for this video though, if I do go back to therapy sometime I know I'll have more resources and knowledge of myself and what I want in therapy.
my "therapist" told me I won't find a therapist I can work with, because they are all going to be exactly like her, and also that she doesn't think things are "that bad" for me and I should not try to get assistance after leaving the clinic, as I wouldn't qualify for it anyhow. I am starting to get the impression that she is just pure evil, but probably closer to the truth is that she is just a "normal" therapist who hates neurodivergent and queer people, like any "normal therapist" might. Which is effing scary.
Oh my gosh! How freaking INVALIDATING and flat out EVIL for a therapist to tell someone "things aren't that bad for you"! I'm horrified she said that to you, and I'm so sorry you were treated that way. How dare her! You deserve a therapist who takes you and your issues seriously, and who has compassion and empathy.
That does sound “normal” for a therapist, tbh, but some people do have good experiences (ofc). I haven’t lucked out yet, but it seems like there’s hope of finding a proudly abnormal one 🤷🏻
my therapist is queer and neurodivergent. There's nothing "normal" about what that therapist said to you. Finding a good therapist is hard, but they do exist and I hope you find one.
That's horrible. Absolutely f**king evil. The insidious ways that people who misuse their power can get into your head, and the damage they can do... it's chilling. I know it's hard, but keep trying. She's wrong. There are many therapists out there who are either not equipped or outright hateful when it comes to queer and neurodivergent folks, but there are plenty who are decent (or at least more humble and less damaging). It takes some digging, unfortunately. Trust your gut, above all. If something seems off about a therapist, you don't have to spend a second longer in their presence than you want to. Good luck in your search. 💜
right? like even those people who think that being queer is a mental illness, then tell me how exactly the cure is hatred and vitriol and shame? like if you GENUINELY believe that person is mentally ill, then how is being shitty to them gonna help solve it? the logic ain't logic-ing
Thank you so much for discussing this❤. Ive had 5 different therapists in the last few years and they've all been either openly anti-queer or evasive on the topic. Not being able to talk about my struggles with my asexuality and what I want my relationships to look like has sucked..... just like... so much.
Re: the coming out question-I’m no queer elder but I know I’m old enough now that I’m someone who can offer some of my experience to learn from to baby gays. In my own experience, I had come up on any gay rep being all about how you *had* to have this big coming out experience and if you didn’t you weren’t living your life like you should be. That’s bullshit. It is very valid and much more realistic to have different levels of being out with different groups of people. Am I out to my parents? God no I don’t hate myself that much. Am I out to my siblings? Cousins? Friends? Sure! Am I out to my coworkers? No! I’m pretty sure only 2 of them would be safe to be out to. Not worth finding out! Also as it’s mentioned in this video, I received 9 American dollars from the BetterHelp settlement which feels like fucking nothing lmao
THIS. i'd also like to add, it's okay to come out more than once. it's okay to come out as one thing, learn new info about yourself, and then realize actually, it's a little more complex than that, and a different label suits you better. i've known plenty of people who have come out as gay, only to then later walk it back because they realized that actually, they were trans or non binary, and being "gay" doesn't exactly fit anymore. so it's totally okay to come out at different levels to different people (especially when acceptance and safety is a concern), and it's okay to come out more than once too as your identity evolves or you discover more of it
@@bottomofastairwell I can't thank you enough for this comment. I've recently realized that my sexuality has changed (in my 30s), and am on the verge of coming out again. There's a lot of anxiety involved, and the timing of your comment could not have been better or more affirming.
@@RexytheRexy glad to help. remember, it's okay for things to change and you discover new things about yourself. especially for those of us who are older (I'm also in my 30s). we didn't grow up with all this nuanced, inclusive language to describe all these things. obviously there were always people who existed and felt that way, but we didn't used to have all the words for it. so for a lot of us, that's meant kind of ignoring certain aspects of ourselves, because we didn't even know how to express it until now. we didn't have terms like non-binary, asexual, demi sexual, agender, omnisexual, etc. we didn't always have a way to express every part of ourselves. so we did the best with the limited words we had. no surprise that a lot of us (myself included) are embracing new labels that are more specific and more accurately describe our identities. and even if that's not the case and things have just shifted, that's totally okay too. people grow and change over time, and so does sexuality sometimes. self discovery takes time. we're complex creatures with a lot of moving parts, so of course things our sexuality and identities are gonna be complex too. it's all just part of being human.
one of my fav moments from therapy was when I was just so exasperated and said do you know how hard it is to be queer in Montana? He just laughed and said I do
Wow...this message is so crazy perfect for me! Married to a man for 25 yrs, no intention of leaving the marriage, but have realized I find women crazy attractive. I was raised strict evangelical Christian, and I've been slooooooowly deconstructing for about 15 yrs. I've just this year very shyly claimed I'm bi, mostly because I didn't want to claim something that wasn't mine, or to disrespect queer folk. I don't intend to pursue a relationship with a woman, I am happy in my marriage, though we would be happy to have another woman join us in a lifetime relationship, if we all found love together. I love Mickey, she is so helpful!!! Thank you, Mickey!!!
listen to me right now: the queer community is so vast and inclusive that i don't ever want you to worry about claiming a label just cuz you think it might not be "for you." if that's how you feel, then that label IS for you. and also, sexuality can change. it can change, or we can discover more things about ourselves and then our labels can change. that's okay. it's normal. ESPECIALLY when you're discovering yourself and figuring things out. it's totally okay to try on different labels and see what fits. or for you to think that this is the right label for you, only to realize later that actually, it's not, and this one fits better instead. going through a few different labels while you figure things out, or needing to change them, that's no disrespecting queer people or the community. those labels are FOR YOU, for us, for ANYONE who doesn't fit the norm. and it's totally okay for you to claim whatever label you feel fits you best, even if that label changes over time. (and if it doesn't, that's fine too.) all i'm saying is that it's fine to use whatever label you want, as long as it helps you feel more like you.
Sounds bi to me, a nonbinary biromantic asexual. Don't EVER worry about claiming a label. If it feels right, then it's right for the moment. If you encounter a better label down the road, you can either discard the one you've been using or not. The bisexual community is very intentionally an open one that was originally created as a catch-all for people whose experiences didn't match the Straight-Gay-Lesbian form. It definitely sounds like that's you and your husband, regardless of what you end up realizing about your attraction (or heck, your gender). So welcome 🩷💜💙, and Happy Pride! Good luck to you and your husband finding your perfect third🥂.
Mickey, I want to thank you for the message at 2:45-4:30. I absolutely sobbed and shocked myself at how affirmed I felt by your words. I was never comfortable labeling myself as queer, for that exact concern of not being "perceived as queer from the oustide". I don't feel like I belong in any identity group (I thought I didn't look or feel "lgbtqia" enough in any "acceptale" direction), and people around me such as family keep cementing the label of cis straight over me even though at times it is abjectly alienating and painful. I don't have a label for my sexuality. I don't even want one. But for the first time someone has validated the "EXPANSIVENESS" and it is so liberating I cannot describe it. I feel allowed to exist. Thank you for healing a piece of me I didn't feel entitled to.
I loved the 3 hour video about the health at any size. It took a few different sessions to get through the whole thing but it was so good. I am having identity issues trying to figure out what's the BPD vs people pleasing in regards to sexuality and it's exhausting but the work with my therapist feels really hard to work my way through. I have a lot of ignorance in this area and coming to terms with that is so frustrating. Being 98% into guys with like the tiniest amount of bi in there is a weird feeling. It's uncomfortable but I'm doing the work. Love your content I hope this keeps getting better and better
I've been watching a lot of your videos lately. Topics like embracing emotions, how to be sexually healthy both mentally and physically, and how to navigate life with ADHD are just a few topics that have really helped me a lot. I appreciate you sharing these topics because there are no easily accessible resources like your channel out there. You're doing good work and I hope you know that. ❤
I've now given two of my recent female therapists my condolences about them being straight and the fact that both of them laughed showed me that I could work with them. Another recent person I'm still currently working with I haven't said that to because I know he wouldn't get it and I don't do deep work with him, but his modality luckily doesn't require it (also he's a guy so like - lot less bad for him). But if a therapist can't laugh about me saying that then I know they'll have a hard time getting me as a person, and also that they aren't affirming in the way I would like them to be/need them to be.
I've been watching your videos a lot lately over the past few weeks and I just realized that I really appreciate that you never edit out clips where you stumble over your words because I usually do that in regular conversation and get embarrassed but seeing you include those clips in a way that isn't self deprecating has helped me see that it's not that bad :) you can always correct yourself later and it takes nothing away from your message
For the record, I have watched a 2 1/2 hour video of you talking about things and I would watch you talking for two hours on this topic! The way you are yourself as a therapist is inspiring. Especially as someone who is graduating from a counseling program and wanting to be authentic in the way that I show up in my practice!!!
I'm so glad you're on this platform, because EVERYONE deserves access to a therapist like you! This is such an important, affirming & uplifting video. Thank you! ♡
I had a free 15 min consult when i was cold calling for new therapists... I asked if she had any experience working with homelessness or polyamory. She told me that she didn't believe polyam existed and went on a whole speech about how it was only making me miserable. I told her (kindly but awk as hell) that there was no need to continue the phone call... She texted me to apologize, but goddamn do i feel bad for her clients and their children's children... My relational structure somehow eclipsed any mention of my poverty...
Hearing the horror stories of people in therapy with bad therapists or therapists who didn't listen or affirm people in their sexualities is I think part of what makes me want to be a therapist. These people deserve so much better than that, and deserve to feel safe discussing queer identity with a therapist. As a lesbian somewhere on the asexual spectrum who abhors the idea of being pregnant, I know that I would want a safe space with someone who also aligned with that sort of thing, and part of me feels the pull to become that for people and help them in ways I wasn't helped.
hi! I'm new to this channel and so far I love all your videos. I just wanted to ask, as a young person new to polyamory, if you could make a full video dedicated to the topic, introducing it or getting into the nitty gritty, I'd die to see it. thank you Mikey, you've inspired me!
I need to do a Mickey Atkins bingo. 'And also', beducated sponsorship, free la Croix product placement, 'because it's not fucking-', at least 11 swear words etc.
I appreciate you saying that some therapists are queer just as a side thing and that’s not their main thing. Throughout my social work education I was open about being trans and queer with my classmates, and I had SO MANY people ask me “so are you gonna work with LGBT people after graduation” and I was always like ummm well I will but that’s not really my main focus, I wanna work with teenagers. And now I’m working in youth residential care! So I have that knowledge and lived experience if my kiddos ever bring that up in sessions, but I just thought it was interesting people always assumed because I’m queer my area of practice would be with queer people
I sometimes wish that some LGBTQ + affirming cishet therapists aren’t just saying they’re affirming simply because they recognize that LGBTQ + people exist. I think it requires more depth than that.
I recently went to therapy for the first time in over a year with a new therapist to get back on my ADHD medication (which might require another diagnosis since I have no paperwork of the old one) and after ca. half an hour I brought up that I think that I'm autistic as well and my therapist was just like "Yeah, I think so too". Between 7th and 12th grade I talked to 4 different Therapists and none of them noticed anything! I am so furious with them. But also I already knew that this one is going to be good simply based on how to get an appointment. It was clearly designed to be easy for neurodivergent adults to do themselves. No calling required, just an online form, making it easy even for people with social anxiety, plus the appointments are always the next month, no "Oh, you called us in June, well, the next free appointment is in december next year, good luck till then!"
First of all I’d like to thank y’all for all the content y’all put out! I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’re extremely grateful for all the work y’all do! Also I’d like to recommend content on dissociation, structural dissociation or CPTSD if that’s something you have experience with or knowledge about, if not no big deal there’s content on it already. I would just like to hear any info or thoughts and opinions from yall! Hopefully this doesn’t come off in a pushy way, I know y’all are very busy and constantly producing for the channel! It’s just a video idea I’d love to see from y’all if that’s something y’all are interested in/ feel comfortable producing. Again thanks for all y’all do
Your point about the message that queerness is a “result of trauma” is real, but I would also add that it suggests that it is something that should be fixed. that’s harmful in my opinion because it can lead people to harmful “treatments” & diminish the value of a queer person’s identity
I do not agree that her comments regarding sexuality and trauma co-existing imply that queerness is something to be fixed. If you have been SAed and your coping mechanism is to avoid people with certain genitals because of that trauma, that is unhealthy for the individual. in an ideal world, a bisexual person who is SAed should not end up as a lesbian because soley of their trauma. That's not a toxic sentiment to have, it only becomes toxic if you assume that healing the trauma response equals healing queerness. mickey did not imply this at all and in fact said the opposite in the video that your queerness existed before the trauma and will continue to exist once you've "healed" from the trauma.
Queerness is not a result of trauma and stupid to think so. Cuz then every straight relationship is also a result of trauma. I’ve had more trauma from men than women in my life. Yes I was molested when younger by another chick. I like chicks before that, I just felt normal so it didn’t matter. And even after what happened it scared me from women and men and intimacy in general. So with that being said I hate how people thinks it cuz of assault when literally straight people fck people up all the time. We are just people not a result of trauma thank you.
Micky I literally listen to 5hr videos of you on regular speed bc I use your voice to body double yes tf I would watch a 2 min video Abt anything lol thank you for your service to the Neurodivergent community for your body double content
I have a wonderful therapist who is also within the queer community. He has created a wonderfully open and safe environment. He is also within my age cohort which has helped. He is annoyingly attractive that looks twenty years younger. :)
Happy Pride!!!~ BTW I would watch a 2 hour video from you, or more accurately listen to it while I get on with whatever... I appreciate your podcasts but also your more specific videos. Anyway I am sure there are others who agree but also maybe not. Do what you will with my rambling
I am so sick of queer creators and and allies recommending Pride Therapy or Better Help to their queer audience when they obviously haven't done their due diligence when it comes to researching the companies. Or even saying that "oh well it happened in the past, we don't know if it's happening now". I've heard many stories of therapists on there not being as inclusive and welcoming as they claim. And also I've heard accounts from some therapists I know that their platform doesn't treat queer therapists well and gives little protection for them relating to that.
Sigh... finding therapists or even psychologists that are LGBT friendly is a nightmare in my country, Venezuela, which, added to my tendency to not speak about my issues, made me give up on finding one, to start unpacking my issues. If I don't trust a therapist to tell them I'm gay, why am I seeing that person in the first place? so yeah, I stopped looking years ago.
Can you please cover Fancy Macelli/April Johns Criminal Summons for making a False Police Report regarding GRB's Lawyers? Shes a HOT MESS!!! I used to support her, but I caught her in so much lies and BS, and when I called her out and asked question, she Blocked me.
just a heads up to everyone cerebral (another online therapy service) has had the exact same issues. earlier this year they sent out letter to past patients letting them know their data (including up to actual therapy notes and diagnosis) were sold to ad agencies
If she did that and played any of the music videos it would get copyright claimed (the people whose music it is would get any revenue from the video), it is more common for them to do that then strike it, either way she would lose out.
@@jrojala Lookup this band: Citizen Soldier. Lead singer is a credentialed therapist and they're a band who makes songs pretty much exclusively about mental health. They're really cool.
@@amandamandamands depends on which band. if they're indie, then maybe not. If this is about the band i think it is (Citizen Soldier) then no, actually, they're fully independent, not signed to any label, and let people react to their music ALL the time. copyright claims are usually a record label issue, but if you're not dealing with a label, cuz the band doesn't have one...
@@bottomofastairwell Don't have to be with a label for that to happen, they just have to have signed up to one of those companies that are continually looking for it. That is how so many people got claimed with Toxic Gossip Train, someone uploaded it onto 2 different sites that do the claims for you (Colleen denied that it was her).
My big reoccurring problem with therapists (both queer and cis/het, but all in overtly queer settings) has been aggressively problematizing queerness. A lot of them would ask, “What was your coming out experience like?” as a FIRST question (not related to anything I said), then becoming visibly angry if I tried to steer the conversation to something relevant to *why my mental health is shite* . That’s not the worst example, of course, but emblematic as something seemingly normalized that many of them did (I was in a revolving door of therapist interviews because I’m obviously not going to keep seeing someone like that). They didn’t know anything about me yet, so I’m not even sure what they thought of me coming out *as* . I could only afford therapy when I was living in middle America to save money, then ended up going back to a coastal city because the homophobia and transphobia were breaking me worse than long working hours and lack of food security did. Good ol ‘Murican capitalism 🙄 And maybe the worst abuse I got the whole time was from mental health “professionals”. A lot of the time, it seemed like the pressure was on for me to pretend like I knew Christian fundamentalist or generally rural tropes, most of all when it came to “the” queer experience. Being in long term and complex distress and being told over and over that you’re supposed to play a character for your own therapist, AND it’s a character you’ve never studied for can make you a lot sicker, that’s for sure! Meanwhile I couldn’t try to find a therapist outside of (oddly homophobic) queer spaces, because I barely understand what the regular straights are taking about on a good day, and most Midwestern ones can’t get through a conversation about the weather without repeated misgendering and somehow bringing default monogamy into it
Hi Mickey, maybe you could talk about twin flames universe? I've recently watched Escaping Twin Flames Universe documentary and I was shocked!! Maybe you'd be interested ☺️ much love ♥️
In highschool I tried to talk to my therapist about being nonbinary/trans, and she asked me if I had any female role models in my life... 💀 I left & never went back
I just want to express to all the folks here who experienced disrespectful therapists (I´m surprised how many of them are asexuality-nonfriendly) that it´s absolutely terrible, it shouldn´t have hapened and I am sending big hugs to each of you ooo.
button to let mickey know you've watched the 5 hour victorious video and you'd absolutely listen to them explain every detail of any topic they wanted to teach for two hours or more 👀👀👀 if they ever wanted to make that video ↓↓↓
I’m a lesbian, but I’m dating a man for the first time and I am very much in love and I have no intention of ending the relationship. People find this confusing and ask me “what if we get married?” And I say “I am still a lesbian, because I don’t find men attractive. It’s like saying that I will never eat chocolate ice cream ever again even though it’s my favorite. Why? Because I’m in love.”
Huh! That’s really interesting! Attraction and human relationships are really complicated so I’m really curious about your experience and how you feel about your partner! ^_^ I’m aromantic so I don’t feel romantic attraction but I do feel other types of attraction (generally only to women I think) but explaining how I can have a “crush” on someone but not want to date them is hard for some people to understand. Or in some cases explaining how I do want to date people but I don’t feel romantic attraction is hard LOL. Would you describe your feelings for your partner like platonic or some other third thing?
Iam bisexual I love men and women For a period of time where I had internal confusion For a period of time I was not attracted to women I then started to think I was straight and not attracted to women because I had a period of time when I was not Looking back on that the reasoning was silly because people’s sexuality is often fluid especially if you are polysexual pansexual or bisexual Just because you find one gender slightly more attractive than the other doesn’t invalidate your attraction to the other gender quite often bisexual people or people under that umbrella have a preference to one gender and still like multiple I know iam bisexual because from childhood I was into girls in my year and elsewhere
To the ace/greysexuals out there, are there any resources with more nuanced definitions? I read "never or rarely" and wonder what the rarely part means. Like, I get that in some respects, if I feel it, it's real, but I also want to have some more concrete idea of what my deal is. I don't even feel the need for certain to have a firm label for myself, but I do want to have some more context for my life.
I don't totally know the answer, but I know part of Roe had something to do with privacy around medical records. I think that's what she's referencing.
Mickey mentions early on in the video that you should be cautious about disclosing personal healthcare information....(and where your data is going). It could potentially end up in their files and be subpeoned or gifted to outside parties. There also isnt privacy on BetterHelp/apps etc. Soooo If you are a uterus-haver in a red state/anti 4b0rtion you could face stimga or criminalization for things like miscarriages, HRE, or medical procedures.
