r/Aita I Want to Adopt a Hot, Blonde, 18 year-old Orphan 

Story 3: So…according to the camp worker….a parents divorce is worse than being a literal cancer survivor…? Nope, NTA

I was tormented by another girl from third grade until eighth grade. In the fourth grade, I went to the school counselor and asked that she get the other girl to stop. I was told, "[Girl's Name] comes from a broken home, so it wouldn't do any good to discipline her." I was nine, and had no idea what the term "broken home" meant, and, when I was told, I got so angry. My parents were divorced, too! I remember saying, "Wait - *I* come from a broken home, too!!" and the counselor backpedaled, saying, "No, you don't count, because your parents got remarried to other people." What a joke...

I told my niece to tell her bully that her parents lied to her- she wasn't pretty or smart- and that the earlier she learned she wasn't special the better off she would be. That was the first time she (my niece) didn't come home crying and I'm not sorry about it.

"She's just stressed from her parents' divorce." "Yeah, well my kid is stressed from _having cancer._ "

Story 1: rumors are lies, you told the truth about what your brother was doing to his daughter to abuse his wife. Because you want to sweep under the rug for the sea of appearance does not mean you have to too.

The whole hair color thing with One Life makes sense in context. Having a child that at least looks like you makes it less problematic for them to appear out of nowhere. It makes it easier to pass them off as a relative too. Hair color, eye color, or unique features that might stand out would result in higher chances of their lineage being questioned and potentially much worse should the country they live in be occupied later.

Hanna isn't being a maid because of her ADHD, she's doing it because your wife is holding her homelessness over her head Having basic empathy isn't being attracted to someone. Its called being a decent human being

First story straight from the start is wild. They excuse and enable the abuse of a child. Everybody should know what kind of POS that guy is.

I like the usual response of "then YOU do it" towards people who complain about OP but also refuse their own responsibility.

Story 4: your wife has been abusing her sister into doing all the childcare and housework while squeezing money out of her. Because she has nowhere else to go her sister had just been taking it. Meanwhile, she’s been lying to you in pocket any of the money you’ve been giving her so she can all on herself. So of course, you rather live with her sister more than her she actually does something, and she isn’t a selfish manipulative, jerk that complains all the time and takes advantage of everyone.

Story 3: NTA, just because you are "stressed" from the divorce doesn't give her the right to act so nasty to someone, especially someone with CANCER of all things! Jenny was being awful to her. OP simply told her to fight back, and the counselor did f*ck all to stop it. So Jenny can insult her and be awful to her, but when Becky does it, all of a sudden it's a problem? No way! I am a victim of bullying, and this hypocrisy pisses me off.

"and no, my wife doesn't have PPD" Ah cool, so she's just evil

I saw a black dad who shaved his sons dreads off his head bc he bullied a kid with cancer at school, for having no hair. I thought the dad did great, sometimes kids need to see that actions have consequences. His son can grow his hair back out. The child with cancer, might not survive. Good for mom in story 2.

Typical, they take the side of the abuser and not the victims side.

To the 10 year old bully: in the wise words of Agent J “Don’t start nothin’, won’t be nothin’.”

If the counselor wants to play the Pain Olympics then OP’s daughter will always come out on top because she’s a literal cancer patient. Cancer patient >>> parents going through a divorce.

Story 3: NTA, if you want to dish you must be able to take, and the earlier the girl understands this the better, also, it follows the rule of "you are never an AH for giving back the same energy you were given".

The policy "against" bullying always seems to be "turn a blind eye to the bully until their victim fights back, them blame the victim for fighting back." Repulsive.

Imagine being the queen of a clique at a day camp and following said "queen". I think we all know who the real losers in that story are.

Last story: as soon OP’s MIL called her the butthole for kicking out the affair partner and her child, I immediately did the classic rSlash “then YOUUUUU DO IT”

Story 2: I feel like what he said might me completely different depending on the tone. It could be "I'd like to order an orphan." Or, it could be "I'm mocking these people for trying to custom order an orphan."

As someone who was bullied for most of my school life, I came to this conclusion: The biggest reason the bullied kid gets the shorter end of the stick is because they are being bullied. As in, they are probably on the more timid side, probably same as their family, so they are the more reasonable and less chaotic part of the story. So, whoever is in charge in school has a choice to either go against the shy timid loser or risk it with a nutcase who bullies and the family who enables such behavior and have who knows what happen. And if your kid is bullied, act out as an animal on the school staff (if it appears that they'll make it your kids fault. In my case, I got disciplinary action against me because it 'took me too long to report". It didn't. I kept asking for moths to talk after the first kick to my kidneys from behind. After the second, we went nuclear). Don't cross the physical line but know your legal rights and scream in their faces until said faces are running down with your drool if needed. Sadly, that's the only thing that appears to actually work, out crazy the bullies family. But, I still have to say, if they are especially crazy, try and act as a normal side up until the point I previously mentioned. Gives you more leverage and basically gives the 'good cop bad cop" impression since you will probably have to switch on them and go for the legal jugular at one point or another. And as a sort of TLDR: NEVER LET IT BE SWEPT UNDER THE RUG.

Story 2: I feel like the husband was making fun of the people showing preference for the orphan they take in rather than the victims themselves. And I really don't think he was joking about cheating on his wife. I think this is a case of the joke taken out of context and I'd say no AH score to anyone as it's just a misunderstanding.

“Jenny is stressed from divorce” “My daughter is stressed from cancer” That insult left a dry ice burn 😂

You're never an asshole for refusing to protect and potentially enable an abuser. The fact that she is terrified of men is enough to know that she's been traumatised by whatever happened and caring for her should be the number one priority, not saving face for the family.

story 3: I was being bullied in middle school by the same three bullies that had it in for me during elementary school. I wanted to off myself -- the reason it intensified was I wasn't being taken care of at all at home and my parents went through a nasty divorce. These girls just ganged up on me and one took it so extreme because she was going through a hard time -- the only reason I got through it was standing up to her because my parents didn't care at all about me and neither did the teachers.

Story 1: OP wasn't taking the side of the ex-wife, they were taking the side of the child

Either Elise was a victim of CSA and/or her dad directed some other very twisted abuse towards her. I always feel for little girls in these cases. I was the little girl in a situation where the adult men took full advantage of me. Prayers for Eise.❤

story 3 i don't know what Jenny expected she nicknamed someone Lex as a reference to Lex Luther, forgetting rule 1 of DC comics don't mess with Lex Luther

I don't think he was implying a desire to foster an 18 year old. He was referencing how fucked up it is to try to special order an orphan.

Becky's gone through bloody CANCER without resorting to becoming a bully Jenny can overcome her parent's breakup

4:00 Im a Polish Jew i consider that joke funny but you know humor is subjective and she did mentioned to him that shes sensitive to that topic so in my opinion he shouldn't have said that

2:30 It's weird that whenever a family has an abuser and someone tells them about it, they dismiss it as rumors. This is the second abusive family I've heard refer to their abuse as rumors.

Story 3: because it’s easier to pretend to do something for the victim, it would be to make the bullying stop. Talking to her parents will require dealing with the emotional struggle of their divorce and that would require so much work. So it’s easier to string you and your daughter along so it appears as if he’s doing something while letting go. When you actually fight back and the girl starts crying, then he’ll have to deal with the parents and tell them how this happened because their daughter has been picking up this girl. And for most people, they assume the parents are going to be as big as big a pain in the ass as their child so it’s easier to punish the victim first standing up for themselves. Causing a big rockets in the school that’s harder to ignore.

Story one: damn, my abusive dad did the exact same thing with me and my mother. It’s so traumatizing. Whenever he picked me up for his custody time, he would threaten my mom that she’d never see me again and take off at high speed with me in the car to scare us. He refused to let my mom contact me in any way when I was alone , and told me many times that my mom will d//l//e when I was alone with him. It’s one of the worst things you can make someone go through. I hope the daughter and mother are ok. It’s so sad to see a family defend an abuser, but sadly not surprising

Go mom in 3!!! She needs to teach her kid some trauma inducing insults

Story 4: you crossed a line….a line that NEEDED crossing - that wife needs a reality check or divorce papers….or both.

Story 3: This reminds me of the time when I and my brothers were really small, one of my neighbors broke into my house on Christmas Eve. Right before the trial walking into the courthouse, the prosecutor took my parents aside and told them that the neighbor " had a bad childhood so be understandable " my dad pointed to my mother and said that her mother died and fell on her when she was 4 and you don't see her robbing homes on Christmas and giving toddlers PTSD!!!!!

Ok I am PROUD of Below-the-Belt Mom!!! Because instead of sitting back and doing nothing (or worse) saying "oh, sweety they're just girls. they're having fun like you should be doing. it'll pass. just ignore them and they'll leave you alone." No, she took the initiative ALL parents should take!!! She went up to that place, and spoke to whoever was in charge (which unfortunately was a lousy kid who couldn't be bothered about this serious incident regarding the bullying of a SURVIVING CANCER PATIENT!!!!!) and when that obviously didn't work, she encouraged her daughter to take matters into her own hands and hit below the belt. Because apparently, NO ONE of higher authority, counselors, teachers, resource officers, principals, no one who are meant to be in charge of these kids EVER do anything unless there's damage that can't be undone to the kids, or their own lifestyles and reputations are at risk. Oh, how convenient though. Counselor is nowhere to be seen, not taking matters seriously. Until things get really ugly. Oh, you're here now. GREAT! Punish the bully Jenny like you were supposed to after BTB Mom came to you in the first place. This has me worked up because I wish my mother had encouraged me like this BTB Mom did. I suffered a LOT of bullying growing up and my mother didn't take care of me like Becky's mom did for her. LOOK at her daughter's CONFIDENCE after she told that bully what her mom said to use!!!!! And what a LOUSY excuse of "oh, bully is going through a hard time because of her parent's divorce and your daughter got the brunt of it. but your daughter shouldn't have stooped so low, so now your daughter is a bully and original bully is a victim. this could have been handled better." First off, just because you're going through something at home, that DOES NOT give you ANY justification to take your pain and anger out on someone innocent who has NOTHING to do with your problems behind the scenes. You CLEARLY know the gist of what's right and what's wrong and you KNOW what you were doing to Becky was WRONG!!! You're a terrible child, with terrible parents, with terrible influences around you. You might have been a victim of a harsh homelife. But even you know the damage you were doing to Becky. You didn't care the unnecessary pain you were causing her throughout a period of time. But that one time she strikes back (and you VERY WELL DESERVED IT) you got "so upset" and went crying to the same people Becky tried to get help from. That doesn't feel too good, does it? Don't dish it if you can't take it, JENNY!!! Yeah, counselor had that opportunity to handle the situation better, but he didn't. boy, You blew your chance to have a more "proper/civil" outcome by sitting back and not doing anything to begin with. So the counselor is also at fault for downplaying this until it got to that point. he's just starting to say something because things are coming to a head and he might get punished for NOT DOING YOUR JOB AND HANDLING THE SITUATION PROPERLY LIKE YOU'RE FALSELY PREACHING!!!!! Counselor: WHAT?! All actions have consequences and I might be facing some of them for not doing my job?! *surprise Pikachu face* Jenny: What?! Even though I hurt someone who survived cancer and made them miserable for a long period of time because I was being insecure, she got upset with me and said ONE hurtful thing to me back and now I'm upset. THAT'S NOT FAIR!!! BTB Mom should get 0 out of 5 BH score. she should get a 4 out of 5 Best Mom score if anything. She did the right thing by first, going to someone in charge. And in the hopes that something changes, she was disappointed. So appropriate matters had to be taken and she is NOT wrong for doing so. She stood up for Becky and ENCOURAGED Becky to fight back and defend herself. Where's the harm in that? Becky gets 0 out of 5 because she didn't deserve it the horrible treatment. She was a good kid, wanting to do normal kid activities. And Jenny wasn't giving her much a choice that would favor either side. In the end, Becky did what she had to do, and if that stopped the bullying, then even BETTER!!! All's well that ends well and Happy ending for Becky and BTB Mom!!! Jenny should get 3 out of 5 and the counselor should get 3.5 out of 5. he's just as bad as Jenny, if not worse. Though Jenny's parents should get 4 out of 5 BH because they're CLEARLY not paying attention to Jenny while this is going on. They're so hellbent on being at each other's throats, they couldn't see that Jenny was hurting and turned to hurting others. Now they might have a new, different situation on their hands. You think life is difficult going through this divorce? Life is gonna throw more at you until you pick up the scissors, CUT YOUR GARBAGE, and GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!!!!! Rant over.

Kinda related to the bullying story When I was in elementary school (I'm a college student now) the school's policy on bullying was very lenient. Verbal abuse was entirely ignored unless the abused retaliated physically (or verbally which made the abuser retaliate physically) In case of verbal retaliation which results in the abuser getting physical, it's on the abuser. In case of physical retaliation, it's on the abused. And If the verbal abuse resulted in both physical retaliation AND bringing the abused to tears, it's on the abuser again. (they were ruthless, saying stuff like "it's good your mom's dead" or "your mom would be so disappointed in you" or "your mom wouldn't want a son like you", something was breaking inside of me whenever I heard a comment like that, until my natural reaction just became physical retaliation and a flood of tears)

I miss the "Then why don't YOUUUU DO IT!!"

Adult with ADHD here. It doesn't impact our intellegence- a lot of us are smarter than our neurotypical peers. We do often have rejection sensative dysphoria because we are often rejected by our peers and even our families and some of us react by becoming people pleasers to try and fit in and please them. It sounds to me like the wife is 100% aware of this and is weaponizing it against her.

Bullying a kid with cancer gotta be the most Disney villain shit I've ever heard today.

Story 5: Not your kid, not your problem. OP's absolutely in the clear here.

4:41 She wears a baseball bat, Rslash? That’s impressive 😂

Last story. Hold up. “We’re minimalists, expect for a large house, multiple cars, fancy artwork, greenhouse” with that juxtaposition alone I don’t think OP is being truthful

Adoption story.... You know he was making fun of the person who only wanted a boy of certain aesthetics... Right? Like.... He was taking the piss out of someone who was more worried about the superficial aspects of the kid other than their humanity and horrible circumstances.

4th story: Godspeed OP, you are gonna need it pal, because you aint a husband, you are an ATM for your 'wife'. The kid was just a trap to lock you down.

That camp story just sounds like Pokémon lol, "Daughter uses emotional damage!" "It's super effective!"

Third story, schools/camp ALWAYS protect the bully and punish the victims. good job OP on looking out for your child.

Story 3: as a camp counselor myself. The counselor in Packy’s camp is incompetent to say the least. He sign with the bully side rather than the victim, because it was easier than actually trying to deal with the problem. Hopefully that counselor gets fired.

I had to relisten to story 3 again. I love it! Yeah I know the other girl is only a kid, too, but she needs to learn when she torments others she is making herself vulnerable to things like this. I always find it funny how bullies are surprised when it finally comes back to them. Glad OPs daughter came out on top

The one with the big C story pissed me off.. How can you be effin evīl towards a child, but when a child bites back suddenly, boolies are the victim... Don't start what you cannot finish don't do stuff you don't want others to do yous then there wont be any biting back

Below the Belt - Personally, I'd probably have given OP a 0.5 for the nature of advice. I mean, sure, the little brat was due for a reckoning, but throwing "You're the reason your parents are splitting and they hate you" is... extreme, to say the least. It feels like they're not just hitting back at the bully, but also punching the parents and then kicking the dog on the way out. It makes me feel kinda dirty.

*First OP:* OP's family were mad at OP for putting her brother on blast, but not mad at the brother for harming his daughter? Interesting. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* I have a dark sense of humor, and that "joke" was not funny. OP is NTA. *Third OP:* To quote Kennie JD, "When they go low, you go lower. Go to h3ll." Also, lol at the counselor lecturing OP and Becky about how Jenny is going through a hard time while Becky _is battling leukemia!_ OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* Looks like OP's wife learned the law of FAFO. Perhaps one of her friends can offer her a room in their place while Hannah stays with OP and Sadie. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* I'm glad OP used the "Okay, then why don't _you_ do it!?" type line on her kids. And it worked! OP is NTA. *Sixth OP:* If OP's (presumably stbx) MIL is so concerned about her only grandson being out in the streets, then why doesn't _she_ take the affair partner and baby in? Get out of my head, rSlash! 😂 OP is NTA. €1M? OP's stbx husband is a doofus.

One Life isn't a movie that requires commenting, why'd OP even start talking lol.

Last story: Good Lord. That woman is insane.

Story 2: The joke sounded like an attempt at mockery of the people who put superficial conditions on who they’d adopt.

When the starting line for bullying is cancer which BTW is lame as fuck then bringing up a divorce is on the table imo.

Story 3: What in The Boondocks are you teaching your daughter? Because I love it! NTA.

The day i lost respect for my ex as a man and human was when we were watching some movie and he started laughing at one of the woman characters who was struggling to walk after she had been graped by a guy in the movie. I just lost all feelings and respect for him.

Story one - I'm not a violent person but stories like this make me feel violent.

Man ive never seen slam be super effective before. What ability does becky have

It's always annoying whenever these camps, schools, or wherever they're supposed to be an adult supervising children only ever care about bullying when the bully is pushed back. I remember an episode of lawn order SVU, where Dr. Huang actually says that bullies always target the social outcast. And it's only natural for adults to associate with normal people. It is so true sadly. I remember when I was a sophomore in high school. And this girl tried to make me her next target but the big mistake on her part was that I was not in a good place at the time and after 6 grueling years of being bullied by the same bully(not her) in elementary school. I kind of cracked. I said some very nasty things to her about her troubled home life, and she broke out in tears. Luckily for me, my vice-principal and my counselor took my side because they knew that girl was giving me a hard time. Let's just say a couple of months later we both ended up in the same mental hospital. And she finally realized that I was going through more troubled crap than she was.

It may be a brutal insult, but it’s not undeserved she had it coming, and now she can take this as a lesson to never lash out at people who have nothing to do with her problems

When i was in highschool i had that one bully who was an asshole to everyone, until one of my classmates brought a picture of him having sex with that bully father, who was well known for being a huge homophobe and bully. And just to say, my classmates was the top in that picture. Within a week we never saw that bully again, and the DPJ got involved since he ran away and nobody reported it. Sadly i can't consider him a hero, if not for the fact that he too was a bully jock who beat most nerds.

No Sympathy Required: NTA, this one is wild. AP really thought she could move in to OP's house? Gonk! Hubby can deal with the consequences of his actions, OP is off the hook.

Second story: He wasn’t implying we wanted to sleep with an adoptive blond, he was clearly making fun of the absurdity of having preferences in adaption in that case.

Story 1: NTA, who takes the side of the abusere and make the victim miserable Story 2: NTA, there all bad and hope op brakes up the guy Story 3: NTA, kids are mean especially to each other so can’t handle it don’t dish it Story 4: NTA, wow ADHD isn’t an excuse and Hannah is just contributing because she’s a kid and can’t pay the bills so chores is the way to go Story 5: NTA, you made a rule and ya he had a heart attack but it’s not your kid and you’re not the bad guy Story 6: NTA, he lied and she’s just manipulative to your marriage so kicking her out isn’t your fault it’s your husbands

I kinda miss r/puppybloopers but I guess Hugo isn’t a puppy anymore.

Story 2: “but her parents are going through a divorce” “my child is going through f’ing cancer” that camp councilor needs an earful, teenager or not.

"It didn't kill him, more the pity" is absolutely vicious and I love it.

I did not expect refreshing the channel to work lol

When kids were picking on me and I'd retaliate my mom told me to be the kid that hits first because they always get the second kid, and she was tired of getting phone calls.

Story #1: Wait, OPs brother belongs in prison, if what she's insinuating is what bro had done to his daughter... Story #4: 2,5/5??? rSlash, are you for real??? OPs wife lied to him, insulted Hannah, took her money, ditched her own child and was all around a massive AH. I'd give het a 5/5 too, but 4,5/5 at the very least...

It was an almost "Then WHY DON"T YOU DO IT"?!? moment, However, I still thought the execution was great. rSlash you have such a good voice you should market yourself to read commercials or children's shows/Stories.

Story 2 - bad joke: he was mocking the people that wrote to specify that they wanted a male child under 11 with brown hair. He did not insinuate he wanted to adopt the hot 18 year old orphan.

Story 3, counselor needs attitude adjustment. You don't get to move the goal post turnabout is fair play period the girl is going through cancer and the last thing she needs is to be made fun of . I like this mom Style

Ultimatum: While I generally dislike giving ultimatums... this one is fair.

It's sad that the last lady definitely only had that baby to get on the gravy train but she got on the wrong one 😂

This is the story I heard on Rslash’s Spotify yesterday lol

The 4th? story, Ultimatum, I was like "Divorce is overreacting a bit isn't it? he had a heart attack, you should help him." Then you reminded me that he cheated on her. I kinda forgot about that part. Yeah, Leave him. He deserves it.

Ultimatum: I have a slight disagreement with you on this one, she could have done something along the lines of offer to care for the child but she would need child support and when it was 3ish that she wouldn’t care for it anymore

Story 3.. I'm not surprised when I was in 8th grade my dad was dying and died soon after I didnt get much sympathy (except from 2 teachers) and leeway for things but kids whose parents were divorced or divorcing got SO SO SO many recourses. Its really insane. The same thing continued through high school where kids whose parents were divorced could get away with everything "because they were having a hard time" but heres me a clearly undiagnosed depressed kid that wants to end themself and I got absolutely nothing.

Wait wasn't this one posted to Spotify yesterday?

The only people that would find that “joke” funny would be edgy 13 year olds or middle-aged creeps, if this is the audience husband is trying to impress then yikes.

I remember being in 7th or 8th grade and one of my teachers telling us that he saw a kid getting bullied and was walking over to help, but changed his tune once the kid fought back. The moral of that story was we weren’t supposed to fight back. I look back often now and realized just how f-ed up that was.

My brother had cancer when we were growing up. By the time he was in kindergarten he was almost in remission, but hadn’t been getting chemo for a bit and had his hair back. A common insult growing up was “I’m gonna hit you so hard your hair falls off and you get cancer” (I don’t understand it) someone said it to him in kindergarten and he just said “I already have it” and the kid just looked at him and went “Oh,,,sorry.” They were frenimies up until we moved. Even a 5 year old understood making fun of actual cancer patients was off limits. They waited until he went into remission officially before they started making fun of him again 😭🫡

bro i got recommended this the moment it was posted not joking

That poor girl should not be fighting back like that against her bully, but let me make this next part very clear. It’s not because she should just sit there and take it, it’s because the fucking adults in her life should be handling it. Why are we making young kids fight their own battles? Why is that counselor doing nothing?

I took the joke meant in story 2 to be an extension to the absurd of the idea of being picky about the gender, age and hair colour of the one you're trying to help - as in the point of the joke was to highlight that making those kind of demands was creepy and dubious, and the humour comes from the darkness of it and the subversion of expectations.

If I ever found out my spouse was cheating on me while saying to the other person that they was getting a divorce, I’d be more than happy to make the lie into truth for them.

R slash it’s been so long since I’ve heard your voice I’m back I know I’m just 1 dude but I’ve been listening to you for about 4 years so thank you

story 2: it was pretty clearly a joke. a dark one, but a joke nonetheless. he was pointing out how gross it was that they cared about hair color by doing a hyperbole and constructing a situation that's marginally more specific, but MUCH more gross. i think it's actually a pretty solid joke eta: same joke, different wording "yeah, imagine if they said 'i'd like one with blonde hair, 18 years old'" it's the exact same idea, but much easier to swallow

The word divorce gets thrown around wayyyyy too many times, Daphne that’s not the solution to everything

"Anyone else on Earth would have laughed!" The Entirety of Earth: °_°

Story 2: honestly the joke is messed up. But it's still just a joke. Though imo what makes him the AH is the fact that he told the joke to a person that dont like that kind of humor, and explicitly says they dont like it.

That joke was dark as fuck. But I still laughed. Not okay, sure. But also funny in a messed up way.

On the third story, we get set up for a physical confrontation with the bully "below the belt", especially when rSlash mispeaks and says that OP's daughter typically wears a 'baseball bat' instead of a 'baseball cap'... so the outcome isn't as bad as I feared

For story two: I remember being in class one day and we were watching a movie about apartheid, I don't remember which one. I wasn't really paying attention, because I was a teenager and it was a movie in school. One of my at the time friends was sitting next to me. There was a scene that came up where one of the guys came by with a teddy bear on a spear. Honestly, my first thought was "haha, did he stab the bear? Why?" I leaned over grinning to my friend who was seriously watching the movie and tried to share the joke with "why did he stab the bear?" and he responded with "he killed a child." Yeah, I did NOT pick that up watching the movie. The thought never even occurred to me that was even possible.